Who Falls
by TheWriter946
Summary: An OC future incarnation of the fabled Timelord travel the stars with the Mystery Twins.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Dr Who and Gravity Falls AU crossover, where the Doctor is in a future OC incarnation, and already had many adventures. New destination: Gravity Falls, year 2012. Eye any references/Easter Eggs (mild **SPOILERS** for certain references in the future chapters). _

_Enjoy! I do not own Dr Who or Gravity Falls. I cannot wait for more Jodie_ _Whittaker as the new lead for Dr Who, and see what else Alex Hirsch has store for Netflix._ _DW belongs to BBC and GF belongs to Alex Hirsch. Credits for the story's head image. Constructive Criticism welcome-no flames or spam please. Cryptograms are in A-1, Z-26._

* * *

 _ **Tourist Trapped**_

 _Ah, summer break. A time for leisure, recreation, and taking it easy._

 _Unless you're us._

 _ **KA-BAM!**_

"It's getting closer!"

The monster tries to catch the vehicle but just falls short. The golf cart flies off a rock and lands roughly.

 _My name is Dipper. The girl about to puke is my sister Mabel. The guy in a red-and-black coat with a British accent is rewiring our golf cart to go faster is our_ _ **godparent**_ _. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror._

"Look out!"

"You are doing Great! Just hold On! Just need to Reverse the Polarity of the-ACK!"

The cart bounced up off the cliff.

 _Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation. Let's rewind. (Flashback) It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air, they choose our family's friend named "John Smith" to stay and ship with us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at our great-uncle's place in the woods via a yellow old-fashioned car that John (or rather, "Doc-or The Doctor" as he liked us to call him) has._

" _This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters!"_

" _And there's a goat on my bed."_

" _Hey, friend. Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater. Heh-Heh"_

 _My sister tended to look on the bright side of things._

" _Yay! Grass!"_

 _Our godfather is a great person and friend with an electric and passionate mind._

 _Although he is well-known Piedmont community member (such as being a wonderful substitute teacher...), he knows our great-uncle, and his employees very well...and this seemingly strange town._

"… _and almost done-and THERE! Good'ol Bessie is back where she is, and all of the packages neat and done! Say, both of you ready for excitement?"_

 _But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings._

"Boo!"

"Ah!"

" Ahahahaha! Hahaha!"

 _And then there was our Great Uncle Stan._

"That guy! OOF! *Cough* It was worth it."

"Stan! How are you!"

"John! Oh-I mean the...Doctor! Eh-Dr Who? Eh? Eh? HAHA!"

"Of Course, Of Course-kids would be staying here for a while, having fresh daily adventures for outdoor summer as their parents said."

"Yeah-Yeah, still can't believe you made it back though-I thought you were on certain errands?"

"Not much, say is **She** well taken care of?"

"Oh the Blue Broad? Yeah, just blending in with the attractions."

"Glee-wouldn't be surprised if you decorated it-just watch out for her, can give grisly noises and wouldn't like that-being displayed and all"

 _Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called "The Mystery Shack." The real mystery was why anyone came._

The Jackalope's antler breaks off. Almost hitting the Doctor. "Good Heavens! Hello there-Sir!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The Sascrotch!" (A display of a "Sasquatch" wearing underwear)

Tourists start speaking excitedly, and snap pictures. Dipper is sweeping the wooden floor with a broom. Mabel is looking at stuff.

 _And guess who had to work here._

"Ooh!"

"No touching the merchandise!"

"Yep, just right here Soos!" called out the Doctor

Soos drives "the Mystery Cart" to the Mystery Shack.

 _It looked like it was gonna be the same, boring routine all summer, except for our Godparent cracking jokes about history…and physics. Until one fateful day..._

"He's looking at it! He's looking at it!"

A boy looks at Mabel's note. "Do you like me? Yes. Definitely. Absolutely."

"I rigged it!"

"Mabel, I know you're going through your whole "Boy Crazy" phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the "crazy" part"

"What? Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!"

"Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?"

"Mock all you want, brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now."

Stan walks in with the Doctor.

"Aww! Why!"

Dipper chuckles.

"Burp!" (stuck in his throat-the Doctor bumps him on back to get air)

"Oh! Oh, not good. Ow. Thanks Doc"

"No problem"

"All right, all right, look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Uh, also not it." exclaims Soos, who is a large male handyman at the Mystery Shack.

"Nobody asked you, Soos."

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that". Eats a chocolate bar while reading one of Ronald Dahl's books.

"Wendy, I need you to put up this sign!"

(Wendy-a redhaired female teenager), "I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh..."

"I'd fire all of you if I could. All right, let's make it... eenie, meenie, miney... (Points at Dipper) you."

"Aw, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched. I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out "BEWARE."

"That says "BEWARB." Look, kid. The whole "monsters in the forest" thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that. So quit being so paranoid!

Dipper sighs.

"Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say.

Puts one sign up on a tree that says "To The Mystery Shack."

He starts to hammer a nail on another tree trunk, but it makes a metallic sound. He taps the tree with the hammer, which makes more metallic sounds. He wipes away some dust and opens a secret window revealing a mechanical box with two control switches on top. He tests one control but nothing happens. Then he tries the other. Behind him, a hole opens up in the ground.

"What the?"

Dipper looks inside the hole, and there is a book. He picks the book up and places it on the ground, and checks for people watching. He flips one page and an eye-glass is in it. He looks at the eye-glass and puts it down. He flips another page, and begins reading aloud.

 _"It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon. What is all this? " **TRUST** **NO** **ONE**." Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it…my **closest friend** was dearly wrong…Remember, in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust. No one you can trust...not even-_(the ink writing stops)"

"HELLO!" exclaims the Doctor, who is with Mabel.

"GAH!"

"What'cha readin', some nerd thing?" said Mabel.

Dipper hides journal behind back. "Uh, uh, it's nothing!"

Mabel imitates Dipper, "Uh, uh, it's nothing!" Ha-Ha. What? Are you actually not gonna show me?

"Uhhh... (Glances at Gompers who is chewing the founded hidden journal) Let's go somewhere private."

"Of-Course, lets head back, me and Mabel were trying to look for you-forests are indeed always lively and beautiful-but also can be cryptic and dangerous" stated the Doctor.

Later, the trio was in the living room. The Doctor sat on the couch.

"It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side."

"Whoa! Shut. Up!"

The Doctor was eerily quiet _…lost in his own thoughts._

"And get this! After a certain point, the pages just.. stop, like the guy who was writing it... mysteriously disappeared. (Doorbell rings) Who's that?"

"Well, time to spill the beans. Boop. Beans. This girl's got a date! Woot woot!"

"Let me get this straight: in the half hour I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?"

"What can I say? I guess I'm just IRRESISTIBLLLLE! Oh. Coming!"

Dipper sits down in chair and begins to read the Journal.

Stan walks in and sees Dipper, "What'cha reading there, slick?"

"Oh! (Throws the book under the seat cushion and grabs a magazine) I was just catching up on, uh...Gold Chains For Old Men Magazine?"

"That's a good issue."

"Hey, family! Say hello to my new boyfriend!"

"Sup?"

The Doctor snaps out of his trance-"What?

"Hey..."

"How's it hanging?"

"We met at the cemetery. He's really deep. (Feels his arm) Oh. Little muscle there. That's...what a surprise..."

"So, what's your name?"

"Uh. Normal... MAN!"

"Normal Man? What type of name is that? Unless you are just implying you are something more-"

"He means Norman"

"Are you bleeding, Norman?"

"It's jam."

"I love jam! Look. At. This!"

"So, you wanna go hold hands or... whatever?

"Oh, oh, my goodness. Don't wait up!"

Norman points at Stan and Dipper and runs into the wall several times on his way out.

"Hmm-jam, analyzing (licks the drops on the ground)-pretty wild, additionally why would a normal guy walks ever so _Casual_? Hm?"

Eying at Stan who is reading a new scooped magazine: UFO sighted-an unknown blue object.

"…hm, I guess not now Stan-say Dipper, let's go to upstairs-I am pretty sure I seen this somewhere."

 _There was something about Norman that wasn't right. Even John-or *ahem-'the Doctor' agrees. I decided to consult the new founded journal with the Doctor._

The Doctor peers at Mabel and "Norman" outside of the window.

Dipper reads, "…Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers?! Beware Gravity Falls's nefarious... *GASP*!

 _We see a journal page on The Undead. The picture of the zombie becomes similar to Norman._

The Doctor still looks outside-seeing Mabel is given daisies by "Norman" who still acts quite morbid, "Hm, daisies…"

"Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?"

Soos who is screwing in a lightbulb, "It's a dilemma, to be sure. (Dipper is taken back by Soos sudden appearance) I couldn't help but overhear you talkin' aloud to Dr Smith in this empty room."

"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?"

"Hmm. How many brains did you see the guy eat?"

"Zero."

"Look, dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf. But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you're a major league cuckoo clock."

"I guess in certain cases…" stated the Doctor

"As always, Soos, you're right", said Dipper

"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse."

"Heh-I am pretty sure it up to fate to state that", remarked the Doctor.

"Thanks, Doc"

"Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!" shouted Stan.

"I am needed elsewhere."

"My sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence." Dipper said to the Doctor.

 _I'd seen enough._

"Mabel. We've gotta talk about Norman."

"Isn't he the best? Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!"

"Ah!"

"Ha, ha! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower! That was fun."

"No, Mabel, listen! I'm trying to tell you that Norman _is not what he seems_!"

"You think he might be a vampire? That would be so awesome!"

"Guess again, sister. SHA-BAM!"

"Agh!"

"Oh, wait. I'm-I'm sorry... Sha-bam!

"A zombie? That is not funny, Dipper."

"I'm not joking! It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?"

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking."

"Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls? **Trust no one!"**

"Well, what about me, huh? Why can't you trust me? Beep bop!

"Mabel, he's gonna eat your brain!"

"Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock, and I'm gonna be ADORABLE, and he's gonna be DREAMY"

"Bu-bu-but—"

"And I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES!"

"What am I gonna do?"

"You are going to need…a doctor" stated the Doctor, who appeared out of nowhere.

"Gah!"

"Oops, sorry-so sorry, didn't mean to scare you-however, while reanalyzing the Journal and showing it to Mabel-you were correct at the first time".

"Huh?"

"We'll get to that, for now we let time pass, oh dear-only she knew about there are people in the universe who would take the advantage of real meaning of love, and also-we haven't greeted a horde of undead yet"

"Wait-what do you mean?"

"If ' _ **Normal Man'**_ is a zombie, then the outside (where Stan's attractions is) would been clearly infested. Besides I think I know in this already familiar place who would take an advantage of love…"

The doorbell rings.

"Coming! Hey, Norman. How do I look?

"Shiny..."

"You always know what to say!"

The Doctor with Dipper watches the video that have been collected.

"Soos was right. I don't have any real evidence. I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and—"

"Don't say that-besides look"

"Wait, WHAT?! (Rewinds the tape and watches it again; he screams and tips the chair backwards) we were right! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! (Races outside) Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan!"

Stan was on a stage in front of a bunch of tourists; to the crowd. "And here we have Rock that looks like a face rock: the rock that looks like a face."

"Does it look like a rock?"

"No, it looks like a face."

"Is it a face?"

"It's a rock that looks like a face!"

"Over here! Grunkle Stan!"

"For the fifth time! It's-it's not an actual face!"

"Errrgh! Stan! Stan! (Sees Wendy drive up in a golf cart and runs over) Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister!"

"Try not to hit any pedestrians." Said Wendy-The Doctor soon catches up, and sits next to Dipper.

"Ready As You Can Be?"

"Ready As I Can Be!"

"Dudes, it's me: Soos. This is for the zombies."

Gives Dipper a shovel.

"Thanks."

"And this is in case you see a piñata."

The Doctor takes the bat. "Close enough to a cricket bat".

"Better safe than sorry!"

(Meanwhile)

"Uh, Mabel, now that we've gotten to know each other, there's... (exhales) ...there's something I should tell you"

"Oh, Norman, you can tell me anything!" _Please be a vampire, please be a vampire!_

"All right, just... just don't freak out, okay? Just... just keep an open mind, be cool!"

Unzips his coat and throws it off; underneath are five gnomes standing on top of each other. The top gnome speaks.

"Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down? R-r-right, I'll explain. So! We're gnomes. First off. Get that one outta the way.

"Uh..." Mabel being shell-shocked.

"I'm Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and... I'm sorry, I always forget your name."

"Shmebulock".

"Shmebulock! Yes! Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen! Right, guys?"

"Queen! Queen! Queen!"

"Heh. So what do you say? (Taps Steve with his foot, and the gnomes work together to make "Norman" kneel in a proposing fashion) Will you join us in holy matrignomey? Matri...matri-mo-ny! Blah! Can't talk today!"

"Look... I'm sorry, guys. You're really sweet, but, I'm a girl, and you're gnomes, and it's like, "what"? Yikes..."

"We understand. We'll never forget you, Mabel. (The gnomes look sad and Mabel smiles) Because we're gonna kidnap you."

"Huh?"

(the Cart crashes from the woods-which made the gnomes quickly capture Mabel)

"Don't worry, Mabel! We'll save you!"

"Help!"

"…AND THAT's The Answer: Gnomes! Quickly Dipper! Press On IT!"

"Hold on!"

"The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody! Just, ha ha, okay. Get her arm there, Steve!"

"Let go of me!"

"ALRIGHT-What the heck is going on here?!"

"Dipper! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks! Hair! Hair! Hair!"

Dipper takes the journal out of his vest and reads the relevant page aloud: "Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weaknesses: unknown."

"Aw, come on!"

"Hey, HEY! Let go of my sister!"

"Oh! Ha ha, hey, there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?"

"You guys are butt-faces! Mmmm-MMMMM!"

"You Tell Them Mabel!"

"Give her back right now, or else!"

"You think you can stop us, boy? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the—"

"Now where have I heard of that somewhere-right…Dipper-Shovel!"

Dipper casually tosses Jeff away with the shovel.

"AH!"

Dipper quickly cuts Mabel free with the shovel.

"Yah!"

Kicks gnomes away; Dipper and Mabel get in the cart.

"They are getting away with our queen! No, no, no!"

"Like my amazing magical bus-riding friend would say. Seatbelts, Everyone!"

"You've messed with the wrong creatures, boys! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE!"

"Hurry, before they come after us!"

"I wouldn't worry about it. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny!"

"…Um Dipper, I have one good idea to say right now"

"All right, teamwork, guys. Like we practiced." The Gnomes growls.

"RUN!"

"Come back with our queen!"

"It's getting closer!"

"Hold-on I got it! Making the golf cart faster! You are doing Great! Just hold On! Just need to Reverse the Polarity of the-ACK!"

"Ha ha!"

Mabel elbow punches a gnome off. Shmebulock jumps up behind Dipper, who grabs him and slams him into the steering wheel out of annoyance. The Doctor swings the bat at Shmebulock.

"Shmebulock..." who falls out of the cart.

"Sorry!...oh dear, let's hope he doesn't puke colors..."

A Gnome jumps onto the cart and claws Dipper's face.

"I'll save you, Dipper!" exclaims Mabel who repeatedly punches the gnome off of Dipper's face and the gnome falls off with Dipper's hat.

"Thanks, Mabel..."

"Don't mention it."

"Look out!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

The cart overturns, landing next to the Mystery Shack.

Dipper and Mabel are both picked up by the Doctor. "Both of you guys okay?"

Both nod. The gnomes' giant figure approaches.

"Stay back, man!" shouted Dipper, who throws the shovel at the gnome giant.

Gnome punches the shovel in mid-air.

"Aaahhh!"

"WHERE'S GRUNKLE STAN?!"

"It's the end of the line, kids! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!"

"There's gotta be a way out of this!"

However, the Doctor whispers to Mabel for an opportunity.

"I gotta do it." Mabel stated.

"What?! Mabel, Doctor don't do this! Are you all crazy?"

" **Trust us**." said the Doctor.

"What?"

(Away from the Gnomes)"Dipper, Trust me- _I am The Doctor_ "

Dipper was a bit confused on the last statement.

Mabel exclaims, "All right, Jeff. I'll marry you."

"Hot dog! Help me down there, Jason! (Climbing down to her) Thanks, Andy! All right, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike. (Approaches Mabel and holds out diamond ring) Eh? Eh?"

Mabel holds out hand.

"Bada-bing, bada-bam! Now let's get you back into the forest, honey!"

"You may now kiss the bride!" said the Doctor.

"Well, don't mind if I do." Jeff leans up to kiss Mabel.

Mabel leans out to kiss Jeff, then backs away for the Doctor who takes out the leaf blower.

"Ah! Hey, hey, wait a minute! Whoa, whoa! Wh-what's goin' on?!"

"That's for lying to me! (who increases the sucking power) THAT'S for breaking my heart!"

"OW! My face!"

"And THIS is for messing with my brother, and our Friend! Wanna do the honors?"

"On three!" said Dipper.

"One, two, three!" which blasted Jeff towards the gnome monster.

The Gnome Giant explodes into separate gnomes.

"I'll get you back for this!..."

"Who's giving orders? I need orders!"

"My arms are tired."

Dipper shouts, "Anyone else want some?!"

The Gnomes run off on all fours; one gets caught in a six-pack holder. Gompers picks the six-pack holder up and runs off.

Gnome in the six-pack holder shouts, "Aaaaahhhhh!"

"Hey, Dipper? I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me."

"Oh, don't be like that. You saved our butts back there."

"I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes."

"Ah, don't worry-besides I myself have always rubbish at weddings, especially mine."

Both look at their mysterious spoken godfather.

"Well, anyways look on the bright side. Maybe the next one will be a vampire!"

"Hm…", mutters the Doctor, who thought about a certain couple named Edward and Bella-which he hopes they are doing off just fine.

"Oh, you're just saying that!"

"Awkward sibling hug?"

"Awkward sibling hug."

Dipper & Mabel hugs and pat each other. "Pat, pat."

The Doctor smiles.

"Say John...oh I mean, Mr Smith-or Dr Smith?...Anyways what is your degree? Medical or PhD?"

"Why-everything, my dear boy...defining the article you might just say."

The trio walks into the Mystery Shack.

"Yeesh. You three get hit by a bus or something? Ahah! Uh, hey! W-wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh... how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?"

"Really?"

"What's the catch?"

"The catch is do it before I change my mind, now take something."

Dipper & Mabel look around at items.

"Hey, Dipper-sorry about the losing your hat during the crazy chase-hope this would replace it" stated the Doctor with a chosen pine tree hat.

Dipper picks up the hat and looks in a mirror. "Hmm. That oughta do the trick! Thanks Doc!"

"And I will have a...GRAPPLING HOOK! Yes!"

"Wouldn't she rather have, like, a doll, or something?"

"GRAPPLING HOOK!"

"Well, I bet **he** would also let her use it anyways-that gave **us** a scary adventure too", said the Doctor.

"Fair enough!"

(Soon)

Dipper is writing while Mabel jumps on her bed, laughing.

 _This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back._

"Hey, Mabel, could you get the light?"

"I'm on it! (Knocks light out the window with the grappling hook) It works! Grappling hook..."

 _Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked…_

 _I wonder how our extraordinary godfather is doing…_

 _(Meanwhile…)_

Stan walks while holding a lantern. The Doctor pulls what-seems-to-be bunch of wires coming out of a supposed-to-be an attraction; a huge blue box that reads POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX and follows Stan.

Stan goes into the gift shop and puts a code into the vending machine. The machine opens, The Doctor goes in first, Stan walks inside, and looking side-to-side before closing it behind them.

23-5-12-3-15-13-5 20-15 7-18-1-22-9-20-25 6-1-12-12-19: 20-8-5 4-15-3 11-14-15-23-19 20-8-1-20 19-20-1-14 9-19 14-15-20 23-8-1-20 8-5 19-5-5-13-19

 _A/N: Hoped you enjoyed it! Eye for more chapters in the future-sorry about any spelling or grammar mistakes._


	2. Chapter 2

_PSplinter09: Yes, thank for your support! Updates are almost slow, however the inner urge still pushes me on to keep on this crossover ;)_

 _The Doctor wears a black and red coat plus an almost perception filter hat that can change into other hats he wore before in his incarnations and wears a lovable Mabel-snitched yale blue sweater with a yellow clock that reads 6:18, along with a traveling bag with a question mark but as the Doctor of course he wears a lot of fashion and disguises (will be explored more briefly). For an actor for playing him, well-as a fair person; use any male British actors you want to imagine, it can fit!_

 _And of course, there are more A1 to Z26 puzzles on the way, keep on the sharp look out!_

 _Enjoy! I do not own DW or GF, this is purely fun AU crossover in which some events are changed but similar._

* * *

 _ **The Legend of the Gobblewonker**_

 _Back at the Shack..._

"Are you ready for the ultimate challenge?"

"I'm always ready!"

"Ah, Yes-Who would WIN? Mountie Man, or Sir Syrup?" the Doctor playfully exclaimed.

"Then you know what this means!"

"Syrup race!"

Both tilt syrup bottles back and start to drip syrup into their mouths

"Ahhh!"

"Go, Sir Syrup!"

"Go, Mountie Man!"

"Go! Go!"

"Go! Go!"

"Almost... almost... (Taps the bottom of her bottle and the syrup drips onto her tongue) Yes! (Coughs) I won!" (Coughs)

Dipper picks up and reads newspaper. "Ho ho, no way! Hey Mabel, check this out."

Mabel looks at the ad in newspaper. "Human-sized hamster balls? (Gasps) I'm human-sized!"

"No, no, Mabel. This. (Points to a monster photo contest ad) We see weirder stuff than that every day! We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?"

"Nope, just memories. And this beard hair." (Holds up beard hair)

"Why did you save that?"

"I dunno"

"Good morning, knuckleheads. You two know what day it is?"

"Adventure Time!"

Everyone looks at the Doctor weirdly.

"Whoops, sorry-heard it was a 'traditional thing"

"Um... Happy anniversary?"

"Mazel tov!"

"It's Family Fun Day, geniuses! We're cuttin' off work and having one of those, you know, (sniffs milk in the refrigerator) bonding-type deals."

"Grunkle Stan, is this gonna be anything like our last family bonding day?"

 _Flashback to Dipper and Mabel helping Grunkle Stan to make counterfeit money._

 _"You call that Ben Franklin? He looks like a woman! (Hears police sirens) Uh-oh."_

Mabel shudders. "The county jail was so cold..."

"Well, at least I bailed all you guys out quickly as possible, before it became a permanent stay." The Doctor stated while rolling his eyes at his wallet's ID, and at Stan's usual "habits".

"All right, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?"

"YAY!"

"Wait, what?"

 _Soon on the road._

 _Grunkle Stan is driving his car, El Diablo with Dipper and Mabel blindfolded in the backseat. The Doctor with a mad grin clutches his fedora on his head while Stan leans down to adjust the radio and the tires screech._

"Whoa whoa! (Sighs) Blindfolds never lead to anything good."

"Yep, I agree with you there lad (fondly remembers playing blind man's bluff)... _those little Daleks_!" he commented funnily.

"Wow! I feel like all my other senses are heightened. I can see with my fingers!". Mabel touching Dipper's face, making him laugh.

Car jumps, making the twins fly into the doors.

"Whoa! Grunkle Stan, are you wearing a blindfold?"

"Ha ha. Nah, but with these cataracts I might as well be. What is that, a woodpecker?"

Drives through a wooden guardrail, making the twins scream while the Doctor whoops.

 _Later at the lake._

Dipper and Mabel, still blindfolded, are standing in front of the parked car, which now has branches and sticks caught in the grill.

"Okay, okay. Open 'em up! Ta-da! It's fishin' season!"

"Fishing?"

"What're you playin' at, old man?"

"You're gonna love it! The whole town's out here!"

Across the lake, various townspeople are doing different fishing activities.

"Here, fishy fishies! Get into the pan!"

"Say cheese!" Toby Determined takes picture, the flash causing the man to fall backwards into the lake

"Uh, is this good?"

"NO! I'll show you how a real man fishes!" shouted Manly Dan.

"Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!" his children cheered him on.

"Get 'em! Get 'em!"

"That's some quality family bonding!" Stan stated.

"Grunkle Stan, why do you wanna bond with us all of a sudden?"

"Come on, this is gonna be great! I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me: they don't "like" or "trust" me."

Mabel whispered quietly, to Dipper and Doctor, "I think he actually wants to fish with us."

"Hey, I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up." As Stan slaps hats on Dipper and Mabel. "Pow! Pines family fishing hats! That-that's hand stitching, you know."

The "L" on the "MABEL" hat peels off.

"It's just gonna be you guys, me, Doc, and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!"

"Ten hours?"

"Meh, time never bothered me" the Doctor stated.

"I brought the joke book-1001 Yuk 'Em Ups!" Stan added in.

"No! NO!"

"There has to be a way out of this."

However, all were then interrupted by a loud noise.

"I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!"

Old Man McGucket runs from dock, crashing into and overturning various things.

"The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scrabdoodles away! (Dances frantically) Eh, eh, ha ha hoo, (Slaps himself) Ah, hee-hee..."

"Awww... He's doing a happy jig!"

"NOOO! It's a jig of grave danger!"

Tate McGucket comes out and sprays Old Man McGucket with a spray bottle. "Hey, hey! Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers? This is your last warning, Dad!...oh hey, Dr John."

"Aww, donkey spittle! Aw, banjo polish!...But I got proof this time, by gummity! BEHOLD! (shows off a wrecked up boat) It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe! And wrinkly skin like...like this gentleman right here!". In which he points to Stan.

"Huh?"

"It chawed my boat up to smitheroons, and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island! YOU GOTTA-(spots the Doctor)"

The Doctor's face was very solemn.

"No..NO...NO! Stay AWAY From ME! YOU WILL BRING DOOM UPON US ALL, YOU BUTCHERING RENEGADE! DOOM I SAY! THE PREDATOR'S STORM OF DESTRUCTION!"

Flees from the scene. The Doctor had his head down...with his hat covering his eyes.

"Attention all units!...We got ourselves a crazy old man!"

Everyone but the Pines and the ranger point and laugh at then-fleeing Old Man McGucket.

Tate McGucket shakes head in shame, but behind the Doctor offers some words of comfort to him...

"Well, that happened. Now let's untie this boat and get out on that lake!"

"Mabel, did you hear what that old dude said?"

"Aww, donkey shpittle!...say, 'godfather Doc' why did he became freaked out by you?"

The Doctor snaps his head up, "Oh, something that I should have fixed long-ago...I always wondered where he went off too..*sigh"

"The other thing. About the monster. If we can snag a photo of it, we can split the prize fifty-fifty."

"That's two fifties!"

"Imagine what you could do with five. Hundred. Dollars!"

Mabel dreams at this notion.

"Mabel! Mabel?"

"Dipper, I am one million percent on board with this!

"Grunkle Stan! Change of plans: we're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island, and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker!"

"Monster hunt! Monster hunt!

A large honking sound is heard.

Soos Ramirez pulls up in his boat. "You dudes say somethin' about a monster hunt?"

"Soos!"

"Wassup, hambone! Dude, you could totally use my boat for your hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs; normal boat stuff."

However Stan was almost having none of it. "All right, all right, let's think this through. Ya kids could go waste your time on some epic monster-finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!"

The twins look at Soos in his boat; he does a robot dance. They look back at Stan in his leaky old boat; he sniffs his left armpit. They look at Scuttlebutt Island in the distance. They grin at each other.

"So, whaddaya say?"

"Heh, Heh, maybe why not bit of both" says their parental godfather.

"Wait, say what now?"

* * *

Cut to S.S. Cool Dude, headed for the island. Dipper stands on the stern of the boat, with one foot on the guardrail. He adjusts the visor of his cap. Mabel is astounded by stories similar to Nessie by their godfather, Soos is handling the rail, while Grunkle Stan is grumbling while cleaning the supposed Stanowar.

"Hoist the anchor!" Dipper said playfully/

Soos pulls up cinderblock anchor.

"Raise the flag!"

"We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" Mabel stated happily as she holds up a beach towel as a flag.

"We're gonna win that photo contest!"

"Pffft! As if!" Stan stated.

"Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?"

"We're gonna... go get sunscreen!"

"No Need! I got it right here!" the Doctor says as he pulls a sunscreen out of his caring traveling bag. "Bigger than inside!"

"Alright. If we wanna win this contest, we've gotta do it right! Think. What's the number one problem with most monster hunts?"

"You're a side character, then you die within the first five minutes of the movie. Dude, am I a side character?! Do y'ever think about stuff like that?"

"Nobody asked you Soos!" Stan grumbled loudly.

"No, no, no. Camera trouble! Say Bigfoot shows up. Soos, be Bigfoot?"

Soos strikes a Bigfoot pose.

"There he is! Bigfoot! (Pats life vest) Uh-oh, no camera! (Pulls camera out of jacket) Oh, wait, here's one! Aw, no film! (In normal voice:) You see? You see what I'm, doing here?"

"Oh, yeah. Dude's got a point."

"That's why I bought seventeen disposable cameras! (Revealing cameras as he lists off their locations) Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag, and one... under my hat! There's no way we're gonna miss this. Okay everybody, let's test our cameras out!"

Soos takes a picture of himself, the flash startling him. "Aw, dude!"

Throws the camera overboard, with disbelieving Stan watching.

"You know...I just going to fix the mini-boat for a second, call me if you do..." (Accidentally kicks a camera overboard).

"No Worries Stan!"

"You see? This is exactly why you need backup cameras. We still have fifteen!"

Mabel throws a camera at a seagull flying over her head. "Ah, bird!"

"Fourteen! Okay, guys, I repeat; don't lose your cameras!"

"Wait, lose the cameras?"

"DON'T!"

"Dude, I just threw two away."

"Twelve! All right! We still have twelve camera- (He accidentally crushes one with his fist) Eleven. We have Eleven cameras."

"So what's the plan? Throw more cameras overboard or what?"

"NO! No. Okay. You'll be lookout, Soos can work the steering wheel, and I'll be captain of this ship".

"What? Why do you get to be captain? What about Mabel, huh? (Chanting:) Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel!"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"What about co-captain?"

"Yeah, it is better than first mate!" Doctor stated.

"Mabel, Doc. There's no such thing as co-captain. Right?"

"Aw, whoops."

Mabel tosses a camera into the water, with the Doctor chuckling at the irony.

"Okay, fine! You can be co-captain."

"Can I be associate co-captain?"

"Even better, lad!" The Doctor playfully exclaimed.

"As co-captain, I authorize that request."

"Well, as first co-captain, our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this." Dipper gestures at a barrel of Fish Food.

"Permission to taste some?"

"Granted."

"Permission co-granted."

"Permission as the Doctor granted" their godfather said with a wink.

"Permission associate co-granted. (Licks some, than gags and wipes his tongue, coughing) Dude, I don't know what I expected that to taste like!"

The Doctor, Dipper, and Mabel laughs. "Oh, Soos..."

* * *

Stan watching them while landing his own boat in the water from S.S Cool Dude. "Traitors! Ah, I'll find my own fishing buddies! (Looks around and sees a couple sitting in a boat up ahead) Ah! (Starts his boat's engine) There's my new pals!"

Spots a couple in middle of proposing.

"Now that we're alone, Rosanna, there's a burning question which my heart longs to ask of you."

"Oh, Reginald!

"Hey! (Stan pulls his boat up to theirs) Wanna hear a joke? Here goes. My ex-wife still misses me...but her aim is gettin' better! (Pause) Her aim is gettin' better! (Pause) Y'see, it's-it's funny because marriage is terrible."

Reginald and Rosanna row their boat away, creeped out by him.

"What?"

* * *

Cut to S.S. Cool Dude approaching Scuttlebutt Island. There is fog everywhere. Soos is at the back of the boat shoveling fish food over the side. Dipper and Mabel are at the front. Dipper is trying to see through the fog while Mabel is playing ventriloquist with a pelican. The Doctor notices that Stan is missing.

"Hey! How's it going? (As pelican:) It's going awesome! Bow bow, buh bow bow!"

"Mabel, leave that thing alone."

"Aw, I don't mind none! (As Mabel:) Hey, look, I'm drinking water! (As pelican while drinking water:) Twinkle, twinkle little..." (chokes on water and coughs, and the pelican flies away).

"Aren't you supposed to be doing lookout?

"Look out! Heh, heh. But seriously, I'm on it."

The boat jolts to a sudden stop having crashed into the shore of the island.

"See? We're here! I'm a lookout genius! Hamster ball, here we come!"

The Doctor with the trio disembarks and ventures into the foggy woods. Dipper leads the group while carrying a lantern. They soon come to a large sign nailed to a tree that says "Scuttlebutt Island." Soos and Mabel stop in front of it.

"Dude, check it out. (Covers the "Scuttle" part of the sign) Butt Island."

"Soos, you rapscallion! (To Dipper:) Hey! Why aren't you laughing? Are you scared?"

"Pssh! Yeah, right! I'm not-"

"Yeah, you are!"

"Hey! Quit...! Stop! Mabel!"

"Children, just remember, we can be afraid of many things...as the Doctor, I am suspicious by that..."

There's a growling noise in the distance. Mabel stops teasing Dipper and they look around. Soos comes up to them.

"Dude, did you guys hear that?

"What was that? Was it your stomach?"

"Nah, my stomach normally sounds like whale noises."

"Wow. So majestic."

A possum grabs lantern and runs away, but was stopped by the Doctor who quickly said some words to it, and got the lantern back.

"Our lantern! Aww! I can't see anything!"

"No Worries, I got it back!"

"Duuude, I dunno, man. Maybe this, uh... Maybe this isn't worth it."

"Not worth it? Guys, imagine what would happen if we got that picture!"

Cut to Dipper's imagination, where he is dressed like Indiana Jones being interviewed on a talk show.

 _Tonight we're here with adventure seeker Dipper Pines, who bravely photographed the elusive Gobblewonker! Tell me, Dipper: what's the secret to your success?_

 _"Well, I run away from nothing. (Dumps coffee into mouth; an embarrassing picture of Grunkle Stan appears on screen) Nothing, except for when I ran away from my annoying Grunkle Stan, who I ditched in order to pursue that lake monster."_

 _"How right you were to do so. He looked like a real piece of work. I don't often do this, but I feel the need to give you an award!" (Gives him a medal and they get their picture taken)_

 _(Mabel rashes through the wall in a hamster ball) "CHARLIE! WHY WON'T YOU INTERVIEW ME?!" (Chases after Dipper and Charlie, screaming like a maniac)_

 _"Cue to the theme song, then again who is more better? Mr Drake or Ms Croft? Pitt or Gates?" stated the Doctor who appeared where Mabel crashed in._

Cut back to real life.

"I'm in!

"Me, too!"

Dipper and Mabel run off.

"All right, dudes, I'm comin'!

Soos beatboxing with the Doctor.

"My name is Mabel! It rhymes with table! It also rhymes with... glabel! It also rhymes with... shmabel!"

"Dude, we should be writing this down."

"Guys, guys, guys! You hear something?"

The growling noise from earlier can be heard; a flock of birds flies overhead, away from the sound.

"This is it! This is it!

Dipper and Mabel punching each other excitedly and walking towards the sound. "Yes yes yes! Hoo hoo hoo!"

Soos grabs a stick and follows them into the fog.

The Doctor holds the lantern higher.

Walking through the fog, Soos stops the group when he spots a lake monster silhouette. The group ducks behind a log.

"Everyone: Get your cameras ready!"

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos turn cameras on.

"Ready? GO!"

Soos yells and jumps over the log, holding his camera in front of him as he runs toward the silhouette, snapping photos at random. The twins follow him, but as they get closer, they discover the silhouette was the remains of a wrecked boat with beavers living on it. The Doctor walks over.

"Welp, we got beavers who love cavorting"

"But... but what was that noise, then? I heard a monster noise!"

The "monster noise" sounds again. It turns out to be a beaver chewing on, and sometimes activating, a rusty old chainsaw.

"Sweet! Beaver with a chainsaw." Soos takes pictures of it.

"Maybe that old guy was crazy after all."

The Doctor looks around...

"He did use the word "scrapdoodle."

Dipper sighs.

Soos taking pictures of a beaver posing on a stump "Ooh, yeah! Work it! Work it! Nice! Nice! Gimme another one of those! Yeah, I like that one."

"What're we gonna say to Grunkle Stan? We ditched him over nothing." As he throws a stone into the lake and sighs.

"Ach, don't feel bad Dipper, he is willing to give a second chance; then again he might be talking to some other kid as a stranger of how to tie a knot..."

The rock Dipper is sitting on shakes.

"Hey... guys, do you feel that? (The rocks sinks under the water and Dipper swims to shore) Hey, hey, whoa, whoa!"

"Right on cue, let's go for an adventure!"

The Gobblewonker's silhouette is seen swimming away.

"Ahhh!"

"This is it! (Takes pictures) Come on! This is our chance! (Soos and Mabel back up) What's wrong with you guys?"

The Gobblewonker swims back towards the island and begins to rise as the others speak.

"Dipper...?"

"Dude...?"

"It's not that hard, all right? All you gotta do is point, and shoot. Like this!" Aims camera at Gobblewonker and realizes it's right in front of him.

"ROAR!"

The Doctor quickly ushers all out from it.

"I have an idea: Run!"

The Gobblewonker pushes a tree over which falls and almost hits Dipper and Mabel, but the Doctor lunges which made Dipper and Mabel and they roll out of the way. The continue to run and dodge falling trees and eventually catch up with Soos.

"Get back to the boat! HURRY!"

"The Picture!"

"Dude, if it makes you feel any better, I got tons of pictures of those beavers, dude!"

"WHY WOULD THAT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!"

"FOR NOW, Hit IT!"

* * *

Soos helps the others on, the climbs in himself. Soos's presence pushes the boat back into the water and he runs towards the helm.

"Let's get outta here, dudes!

They start driving away in the boat backwards.

"All right! This is it! (Tries to take a picture) Cracked lens?! Soos! Get a photo!"

Soos throwing cameras at the monster.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Oh! I still got one left! Don't worry, dude!" As he throws a camera to Dipper but misses hitting the wall and breaking the camera.

The Gobblewonker dives into the water and begins to chase the gang. Soos steers the ship forwards and drives away from it.

"Go, go, go, go, go!"

* * *

Cut to Stan on his boat, struggling to tie a knot.

"Er, ugh, gah! Mollycoddling..."

In a boat a few yards away, an ironic counterpart scene of a kid named Shmipper with his sister and Grandpa. "Can you pwease tell me mo'e funny stories, Pop Pop?"

"Anything for my fishing buddies!" Laughs and pats grandchildren on their heads.

Stan growls.

"Pop Pop? I just weewized dat...I wuv you."

"Aw, come on! Boo! Boo!" Stan shouted.

"Hey, now! What's the big idea?"

"Maybe he has no one who wuvs him, Pop Pop."

"Yeah, well, I... I..."

S.S. Cool Dude drives past him, which created a wave making him and his boat fall on Cool Dude's deck

"Stan, RIGHT ON TIME!"

"HEY-WHAT THE-?"

"SOOS! BEAVERS!"

The boat crashes into the old, broken boat and beavers fly everywhere, biting the boat and the crew. The Doctor fumbles in his bag.

"Ah, beavers! Oh, no!"

Beavers are biting Dipper's hat. Mabel shakes a beaver off of her arm, and a beaver lunges at Soos, who stumbles away from the wheel. Mabel takes control on the wheel, steering away from the Gobblewonker. Dipper tries to dislodge a beaver from the side of the boat while Soos runs in circles crying in pain from the beaver still on his face.

In quick second, without a thought Stan quickly punches the beavers out of the scene.

Dipper throws beavers towards the Gobblewonker who dives and continues to chase them under the water. The S.S. Cool Dude drives through a place with people fishing, who are overturned by the Gobblewonker behind them.

Manly Dan and his sons, Dan headlocking a fish and his sons are cheering for him. But they are on the way of others.

Manly Dan (With a fish) "Headlock!"

"Dad! Dad! Dad!"

Their boat is turned over by a wave from the Gobblewonker. Fish start raining down on them.

"The fishes! They seek revenge! Swim, boys! Swim!"

"Hey, it is raining fishes..."

Cut back to the S.S. Cool Dude. The Gobblewonker swipes at the boat and manages to knock the control cabin off.

"Aah! Look out!"

The boat drives through it and breaks two men boats. "My glass!"

Tate McGucket comes out and sees what is happening offshore.

"What in the world..."

The boat crashes through offshore, scaring everyone off while being chased by the Gobblewonker. The boat also almost hits Tate, but the Doctor quickly pulls him him into the boat.

"Sorry about the mess-GET DOWN!"

"WHERE DO I GO?!"

Dipper looks around. Takes out Journals and flips through pages "Um... uh... GO INTO THE FALLS! I think there might be a cave behind there!"

"MIGHT BE?!"

They all scream and the boat goes through the waterfall and into cave behind. Their boat crashes, sending them into the dirt. The Doctor, Stan, Soos, Dipper, Mabel, and Tate all stand up, and turn around to see the Gobblewonker swim in after them and get stuck in the cave entrance.

"It's stuck!

"Ha ha! Yeah! Wait...It's stuck?" Tries to find a camera but he has none.

Mabel lifts Dipper's hat to reveal he still has one last camera. "Boop."

Dipper takes pictures of it, and the Doctor pulls his sonic screwdriver.

"Didja get a good one?"

"THEY'RE ALL GOOD ONES!"

"WOO! HAMSTER BALL!"

The Gobblewonker, still roaring, gets hit by a rock. It's head falls down with an electric noise.

"What the...? (Walks up to the Gobblewonker and touches its side) Huh?"

"What's wrong?"

Dipper steps on the Gobblewonker and knocks it. It makes a hollow metalic sound. Dipper climbs up the Gobblewonker.

"Careful, dude!"

"I've got this! Hold on! (Climbs over the Gobblewonker, then pops up from the other side) Hey, guys! Come check this out!"

Bewildered Tate and the others discovers a handle and turns it.

Since rusty, the Doctor turns the sonic and circles the supposed door, causing steam to come out. They open the trapdoor causing more steam to come out. They discover old man McGucket inside controlling a machine.

"Work the bellows and the...Eh? Aww, banjo polish!"

"Dad...but why?" Tate stated surprisingly.

"Out of all places...this guy?" Stan said.

"Wha- Yo- You?! You made this? W-w-why?"

"Well, I...I, uh...I just wanted attention."

"Well, Mr McGucket" The Doctor offers a hand (first he is frightened by it). "Don't worry, all we need is a bit of explanation first" as he helped McGucket pulled up into the surface.

Old Man McGucket stated, "Well, first I just hootenannied up a biomechanical brain wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with ma beard!"

"Okay, yeah. But why did you do it?"

"Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore. _(Flashback of McGucket outside his son's window with a baseball and gloves and his son, inside his office, closing his blinds. Real time, narrating:)_ My own son hasn't visited me in months! _(Flashback moves to McGucket building the Gobblewonker. Real time, narrating)_ So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robut! _(Laughs like maniac and the flashback ends)_ In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family."

Dipper and Mabel look at the fishing hats Grunkle Stan gave them and sigh, Stan sees this...

"Dude. I guess the real lake monster is you two. Heh, heh! (Stan stared at him) Sorry, that just like-boom-just popped into my head there."

"So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?"

"No, sir, I got to work straight on the robut! (A projector shows blueprints for the Gobblewonker on the trapdoor) I made lots of robuts in my day! (Pushes button and projectors shows a newspaper with a robot pterodactyl breathing fire on a town and the word "chaos") Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron, (Pushed button again and projectors shows a picture of a man) or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party (Pushed button agains and projector shows another newspaper with a large robot terrorizing a town and the word "disaster") and I constructed an eighty ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA! (Laughs like a maniac) Well, time to get back to work on my death ray! (Ducks into the Gobblewonker and construction noises can be heard from inside. Raises hand in a grabbing motion) Any of you kids got a screwdriver? Wait minute, Doc! You have one...right?"

"Still have a sonic, F...but for now let's take you home, I guess times are changing, tried to find you sir..."

"Aw man, Dad why haven't you told me it was this bad..." Tate exclaims.

Dipper takes out camera. "Well, so much for the photo contest."

"You still have one roll of film left." Mabel said.

"Whaddaya wanna do with it?"

Grunkle Stan was surprised by Soos and the twins approaching him.

"What?...are you guys still playing "Spin the Bottle" with Soos?"

"Well, we spent all day trying to find a "legendary" dinosaur."

"But we realized, the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with is right here."

"Save your sympathy! I've been having a great time withoutcha'! Makin' friends, talkin' to my reflection- I had a run-in with the lake police! Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun."

"So... I guess there isn't room in that boat for more?"

Stan glares at Dipper and Mabel.

Dipper and Mabel put on their hats.

Stan's expression softens. "You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?"

"Five bucks says you can't do it!"

"You're on!" Stan said as Dipper climbs into the Stanowar that was in the middle of the wreckage of S.S Cool Dude.

"Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, plus me singing at the top of my lungs!"

"I like those odds! (Mabel and Soos climb into the Stanowar; To Soos:) Whoa! What happened to your shirt?"

"Long story, Mr Pines."

The Doctor convinced Tate and Old Man McGucket to spend time together along with the Pines. It is least the Pines' godfather can do.

"All right, everybody get together. Say fishing!" stated the Doctor.

"Fishing!" Stan, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Tate, and McGucket stated altogether.

"Dude, am I in the frame?"

Photo montage: _The picture of Stan and Mabel smiling and Soos' belly._

 _Tate and McGucket fishing together offshore. Then a mini-baseball game._

 _A picture of Mabel covering Stan's eyes while he peeks and tries to thread a hook._

 _Stan reading jokes while Mabel and Soos with the Doctor and Dipper laugh._

 _Dipper holding his first fish._

 _Stan posing with his hand in his vest._

 _Stan and Mabel stealing fish from Smabel and her grandfather._

 _Dipper, Mabel, and Stan driving away from the lake police._

 _The Doctor distracts them while the Pines are in disguises (usual mustaches and monocles) given to them._

The gang are on a boat. The boat shakes.

"Whoa!"

"What was that?"

Mabel shrugs.

"A familiar twist, I'll say" The Doctor states.

Underwater, a disposable cameras sinks. The real Gobblewonker swims by and eats it.

* * *

 _Soon_

Mabel playing ventriloquist with the pelican, "Who wants to hear a joke?"

"Not Me!" Dipper said.

"Heh, heh! Yeah, ya do! Here it goes: why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?"

"I don't care!"

"It is because..."

"Mabel-"

"IT Is cuz he had a very big bill! La la la la! Yuk yuk yuk! Blah blah bloo! Yay! Hurray!"

"Ugh, boo. Bad joke. Bad pelican joke."

* * *

The Doctor and Stan gather the wreckage of S.S Cool Dude, and the Stanowar motorboat to far behind the Mystery Shack: there was Bessie, Mystery Cart, Stan's car and RV, Soos' pick-up truck...and an unmistakable small old yacht that is being turned into a trawler.

The Doctor was looking into Bessie's truck for tools which had: a stuffed anti-gravity motorbike, a shrunken Dejah Thoris houseboat, a small blue Vespa motor-scooter, a shrunken Whomoblie, and a deflated motorboat.

After finishing the "project" by using the wreckage spare parts and Stanowar's motor plus the supposed "Gobblewonker" engine, the Doctor drove Bessie into the Mystery Shack...and into the ominous blue police box.

14-5-24-20 23-5-5-11 18-5-20-21-18-14 20-15 2-21-20-20 9-19-12-1-14-4 20-15 20-5-19-20 20-8-5 2-15-1-20 13-5-1-14-23-8-9-12-5 1 7-14-15-13-5 9-19 16-21-11-9-14-7 18-1-9-14-2-15-23-19


	3. Chapter 3

_PSplinter09: I agree, B_ _enedict Cumberbatch is a great British actor. The fez would be a nice fit. And guess what fictional character he associated with on BBC is on this episode? Coming up on this chapter! :)_

 _I do not own DW and GF. Enjoy!_

* * *

 _ **Headhunters**_

Dipper and Mabel are in the living room, watching a show on television called Duck-tective. The shows features a constable and a duck detective standing next to a telephone booth that has limbs of an unseen dead person sticking out. While watching the television program, Mabel knits a new sweater and Dipper eats popcorn from a bowl. Mabel reaches for some popcorn, but Dipper slaps her hand.

 _Constable: "I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident."_

 _Duck-tective: An accident, constable? Or is it...Murder?!_

 _Constable: What?!_

 _TV announcer: Duck-tective will return after these messages._

"That duck is a genius!"

"Eh, like our family's friend (godfather) said: it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground."

"Dipper, are you saying you could outwit _Duck-tective_?"

"Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation. For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating (Sniffs) ...an entire tube of toothpaste?!"

"It was so sparkly..."

Soos Ramirez runs in, "Hey, dudes, you'll never guess what I found!"

"Buried treasure!"

"Buried-*giggle* Hey, I was gonna say that!"

Soos lead the twins to a door. "So, I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy!"

The room is filled with several different wax sculptures.

Dipper shines his flashlight around, "Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!"

"I wonder if Doc knows about this."

"They're so life-like."

Dipper shines flashlight and points to what-appears-to-be-Stan. "Except for that one."

"HELLO!"

Dipper, Mabel and Soos scream in surprise.

"It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!"

Dipper, Mabel and Soos scream even louder in fright and run away which they all bump into the Doctor, who was coincidentally on the way out...

After calming and convincing that it was a funny ruse, Stan showed off his once-been popular attraction.

"Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! It was one of our most popular attractions... before I forgot all about it. I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, (Looks at a wax sculpture of Larry King) some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?"

"Mr King I presume, seriously I really think the government hates the BBC, seriously" the Doctor stated. _(A/N: Peter Capaldi was once interviewed by legendary Larry King)_

"Urm, is anyone else getting the creeps here?"

"Ach, don't worry lad...I feel the same thing, I feel there is missing something here-"

"And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over- (Looks at the melted glob of wax on the floor, which is under sunlight from the window above it) Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction! (Bends down and puts finger in wax; sighs) How do you fix a wax figure?"

The Doctor kneel down at the remains, and found a tag: "Madame Tussauds".

"Hm...knowing Lincoln a lot, how on Earth...Stan got this peculiar wax figure?"

Mabel interrupted, "Cheer up, Grunkle Stan. Where's that smile?"

Stan sighed, "Egh."

"Beep, bop, boop!" Mabel cheerfully pokes Stan in the face.

"Ow."

"Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!"

"You really think you can make one of these puppies?"

"Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm? (Holds up her arm, which has a glue gun glued to it; shakes her arm) Eugh, eugh!"

"I like your gumption, kid!"

"(Chuckles) There is no doubt about that, too" the Doctor chimed in.

"I don't know what that word means, but thanks guys!"

* * *

"Dipper!"

"What do you think of my wax figure idea? (Shows Dipper a drawing that she sketched in her sketch-book) She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!"

"M..maybe you should carve something from real life."

"Like a waffle, with big arms!"

"Y-okay... Or, you know, something else. Like- like someone in your family."

"Kids, Doc have you seen my pants?" Stan poses on a briefcase.

Mabel turns around, her eyes become big. "Oh, muse. You work in mysterious ways."

"Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?" Stan said to Dipper.

"As long she doesn't mean _him,_ then we'll be fine."

* * *

Mabel busily working on Wax Stan. The Doctor chimed in to help her work, Mabel accidentally splats wax on his head which gave him a quite a laugh. He accidentally tasted a bit, and he frowned at the familiar odor...

Mabel moves back to admire her work. "I think... it needs more glitter."

"Agreed." Soos hands Mabel a bucket of glitter.

Mabel tosses the entire bucket onto the statue.

Stan walks in with his pants on but not his shoes. "I found my pants but now I'm missing my- (Notices Wax Stan) Ahhh!"

"What do you think?" Mabel asked sweetly.

"I think... the Wax Museum's back in business!"

* * *

Soos is leading people to see the grand opening of the Wax Museum. Dipper is working in the stand with Wendy.

"I can't believe this many people showed up."

"I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something."

"He bribed me." Holds up dollar.

Wendy also holds up a dollar. They both laugh.

"Hello! Say, where do I put the pizzas?" The Doctor piped up out of nowhere, which he is carrying certain boxes.

"Oh! Hi, Dr Houston! It's good to see you again!"

"Condory! My...it is almost a month! Say, how you holding up?

"Very good actually, my family is holding up just fine...ever since..."

"No worries, I am just hoping that..."Manly Dan" is that right? (spots him)...your father is doing just fine"

Wendy nods, "He is..." as she drifted off in a certain memory.

"Whoa, you know our godfather?"

"He is? Well, from what I know-in this town, he knows my boss or your great-uncle-or-something, and used to be my and Soos' great-if-not funny high school teacher."

"Wow, _hm_ (thought about his new-founded journal) _maybe I can show this to him more...since he already knows this place..."_

Stan clears throat over the microphone. "You all know me, folks! Town darling, "Mr. Mystery." Please, ladies, control yourselves! As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world, has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me!" Uncovers Wax Stan.

Soos makes a fanfare sound on his keyboard, then makes a "Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!" sound.

Two people in the audience politely clap and someone coughs.

"And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!"

"It's Mabel. (Takes microphone) Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! (Throws up her arms) It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!"

Audience: "Ugh! Ewwww!"

Mabel chuckles, "Yeah. I will now take questions! (Points to McGucket) You there!

"Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the alien wax-man uprising?"

"Um...Yes! Next question!"

"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?"

Stan deadpans "Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby."

"It certainly is-"

"Next question."

"Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Shows flyer Is this true?"

"That's what I heard! ... Come on! ... What a rip-off! ... Pizza? ... I want my pizza!.."

"That was a typo. Good night, everyone!" Stan uses a smoke bomb to escape, taking the admission fees with him.

The audience went wild with anger until-"Hello! Hello! Sorry about the delay, enjoy your pizzas-fresh from Raffaele Esposito!" The boxes contained the dates 1889 on them, nevertheless the mob was a bit satisfied.

""I think that went well." As Mabel leans on the admission table.

* * *

"Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person, this guy!" He points to Wax Stan.

Mabel jokingly punches Stan.

"Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin. Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go! (Sighs) Kids. Am I right Doc?"

The Doctor was staring outside at the stars.

"Oh-Hm? Well there is a saying: what the point being grown-up if you can't be childish sometimes..."

* * *

Stan is watching TV.

 _Constable: Well, duck-tective, it seems you've really quacked the case._

 _Duck detective (Quacking; subtitles read:) Don't patronize me._

Stan laughs. "Stupid duck! Well, I'm gonna use the john. You need anything? (gesturing to the wax figure of himself) I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere."

Dipper and Mabel were brushing their teeth.

"Dipper, you wanna do a toothbrush race?"

"Okay."

"No... NO... NOOOOOO!"

Dipper and Mabel look at each other and go downstairs.

Stan screams, "Wax Stan! He's been... m-murdered! (Clock bongs three times)

"Sorry that was me" the Doctor went in from the attractions' room. " **She** sometimes predicts (saw the so-called crime scene)...the danger?"

Mabel faints.

* * *

Stan soon was explaining the situation to the police officers, Durland and Blubs.

"I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back, blammo! He's headless!"

"My expert handcrafting... besmirched. (Crying) Besmiiiirrrched!"

"Who would do something like this?"

"What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?"

"Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts... this case is unsolvable."

Dipper, Mabel and Stan except for the Doctor, "What?!"

"You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!"

"You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want."

"He's really good. He figured out with Doc who was eating our tin cans!"

"All signs pointed to the goat."

"Yeah, yeah! Let the boy help. He's got a little brain up in his head."

"Oooh! Would you look at what we got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!"

"City boooy! City booooooy!"

"You are adorable!"

Dipper exclaims, "Adorable?"

Blubs and Durland laugh.

"Look, P.J.'s, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?"

Over Blub's walkie talkie: "Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!"

"It's a 23-16!"

"Let's move!"

Blubs and Durland run off laughing.

"Well, wouldn't it be suspicious enough that some one broke in here?" The Doctor stated.

"That's it! Mabel, you and me are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable. (Sneezes)"

"Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!"

Dipper glares at her.

"Ach, don't be embarrassed-Rosemary doesn't do well on me, nor does Praxi Gas. Eat a celery it works!"

Both twins look at their strange godfather.

* * *

The Doctor is teaching Dipper and Mabel at the crime scene.

"Wax Stan has lost his head and its up to us to find it."

Mabel takes pictures.

"There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. (Looks at the bulletin board with pictures of suspects) The murderer could have been anyone."

"Very good Dipper, anything else?"

"Yeah! Even us!"

"In this town, anything is possible. Ghosts, zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue."

"Sure thing, and check this out." The Doctor points at the carpet.

"Hey, look! A clue."

There are shoeprints in the carpet.

"Footprints in the shag carpet!"

"That's weird. They've got a hole in them."

"Very good you two, and what else?..."

"And they're leading to..."

"There's an ax on the floor", stated the Doctor.

Dipper and Mabel gasp, then look at each other with their godfather.

* * *

The Doctor and the twins are in the gift shop with Soos.

"So, what do you think?

"In my opinion: this is an ax" Soos stated.

"Wait a minute. The lumberjack!"

"Of course!"

"He was very furious when he didn't get that free pizza...yet"

"Furious enough, for murder!"

"Oh, you mean Manly Dan. Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown."

"Then that's where we're going."

"Dude, this is awesome. You two are like: ** _The Mystery Twins_**!"

"Don't call us that."

"Actually..." The Doctor interrupted.

The twins look at him.

"It has a nice ringtone to it...whatdoya think?"

* * *

Stan pulling a coffin out of his car. "Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doin' a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy."

"Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we have got a big break in the case with Doc!"

"Break in the case!"

"We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer."

"Well-not exactly..."

Mabel interrupted, "We have an axe! REE, REE, REE!"

"Hm, it seem like the kind of thing that responsible parents wouldn't want you to do... Good thing I'm an uncle. Avenge me kids! AVENGE MEEE!"

The Doctor chuckles lightly.

* * *

The Doctor, Dipper, and Mabel are sneaking behind a dumpster near the Skull Fracture.

"This is the place. Here goes nothing."

Tats: "Sorry, but we don't serve miners."

Miner: "Daaaannnnng'nab it! (Spits on the road and walks off) Eughh!"

The Doctor pulls his wallet with a familiar psychic object "We're here to ask on Manly Dan the lumber jack advice for the murder of wax Stan"

Tats: "Works for me."

Men are fighting inside the Skull Fracture. The Doctor with Dipper and Mabel walk inside and look around. Dipper motions for Mabel to follow their godfather.

Mabel walks over a body. "He's resting."

"Alright, let's just try to blend in, ok?"

"You got it, Dippingsauce. (Climbs onto a chair and talks to a man) Hey there, fellow restaurant patron! (Pats his arm) Bap!

The biker growls.

Manly Dan is playing an arm wrestling game. "AAAAAGHHHH!"

The Doctor approaches him, "Manly Dan! Just the guy I wanted to see!"

"DOC! IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, BUDDY!"

The twins grimaced at their godfather being hugged so tightly.

"Heh-heh, no worries, just need ask some questions that need answers: where sere you last night?"

Manly Dan lightly drops him. "Punchin' the clock."

Dipper stated, "You were at work."

"No, I was punchin' that clock!" Which he points to a broken clock outside.

The Doctor mouths, "WoW"

"10 o'clock...the time of the murder. So, I guess you've never seen this before?" Which he pulls out the axe from his bag and shows Manly Dan.

"Listen little girl!"

"Hey, actually I'm a-"

"-I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND!" Rips the machine's arm off and beats the machine with it.

Tyler Cutebiker: "Get 'im! Get 'im!"

"Left handed..."

"There you go kids, our another clue...and also let's not jump to conclusions of who did the act."

Mabel and Biker are looking at cootie catcher Mabel is counting off with. "3, 4, 5, 6."

Mabel gasps,"Your wife is gonna be beautiful."

Biker pumps arm. "Yes!"

"Mabel, we have another big break in the case!"

Biker states, "But will she love me?!"

The Doctor chuckles lightly and left a note of advice...

* * *

"It's a left handed ax. (Shows her a list) These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we have to do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer."

"Oh man, we are on fire today! Pa-zow, Pa-zow, Pa-zow!"

"Let's find that murderer." (Fist bumps Mabel)

Soon, the trio cross out many names for being "right-handed".

Dipper gasps, "Guys, there's only one person left on this list."

"Of course, it all adds up!"

"Actually, instead of accusing Mr Determined; I propose that the ax should be examined by another expert" the Doctor stated while examining the ax. "Besides he has only an obsession with Ms Jimenez".

"Wait...how do you know about that?"

The Doctor touches side of his nose and grins. "One shouldn't be too careful at all..."

* * *

At the police station, Blubs and Durland examines the ax and thus confirming Doctor's previous statements.

Blubs checks for finger print on the ax. "No prints at all."

"No prints?"

"Hey I got a headline for you: city kids waste everyone's time."

They laugh, which the Doctor quickly takes the twins quickly out.

Dipper and Mabel look at each other, embarrassed.

* * *

Stan is standing on a stage with a bunch of chairs set up. Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and the wax figures are the audience.

"Doc, kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming."

Soos blows his nose, crying.

"Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."

Soos jumps up and points, "They're wrong!"

"Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven. (Wipes eye) I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye!" (Cries and runs away)

Soos running after Stan, while crying: "Ohhhhh duuuude..."

Dipper sighs, "Those cops are right about me."

"Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now."

"Indeed kids. Besides, doesn't everything makes sense yet now, my young sleuths?" The Doctor walks over to the coffin.

"But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues (Looks inside coffin; sighs) Wax Stan shoe has a hole in his shoe..."

"All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand-thingy."

"Exactly-o-mono Mabel! Actually remind me not to say that again."

"Wait a minute, _what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints?_ Mabel! The murderers are-"

"Standing right behind you."

All the wax figures come to life. The Doctor took a protective stance for the twins.

Dipper gasp, "Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?"

"Wha s'up Holmes?" Coolio stated.

Wax Lizzie Borden forcefully takes her ax from Mabel.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"

"Weird footsteps, and no prints. It makes sense perfectly!"

Wax Holmes stated, "Congratulations, my two amuetur slueths, you have unburied the truth, and now we're going to destroy you...and THE Doctor!".

* * *

"Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret. (Takes wax Stan's head out of his cape) Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically. Uh, no that sounds too sincere. Slow clap. There we go, nice and condescending."

"But... how is this possible? You're made of wax!"

"Are you... magic?"

"Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic! (Stops laughing) We...Are...the proud AUTONS! Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale that had the historical figures cargo from Madame Tussauds-mighty England! Shame that Lincoln didn't made it through in the end... And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man.

Wax Coolio adds in, "But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule da night."

"It then was the time to contact our leader: the Nestene Consciousness...TO TAKE OVER THE EARTH!"

The twins gasp. The Doctor comments, "Hm, that would explain a lot of the camera that snapped a photo of Stan sleeping."

"That is, until your uncle closed up shop."

Flashback to Stan shaking the empty admission box and putting the wax figures in storage.

 _The storage room is seen wearing out as time goes by, leaving the door blocked by wallpaper. Soos later comes by sweeping the floor and finds the knob to the storage room. He puts the knob back in its place._

"We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away...But we got the wrong guy."

"So, you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!"

"You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!"

"Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must... die."

The wax figures growl and their eyes roll back in their heads. Their wax hands pulled back, revealing a miniature laser pistol. They approach the Doctor and the kids.

"What do we do, what do we do?"

"I don't know!"

The Doctor notices a coffee maker on the table. He picks it and chucks it at one of them, testing their endurance.

Wax Genghis Khan is melting and screams.

"That's it! We can melt them with hotty melty things!"

"Bravo, Mabel-now quick the candles!"

Dipper and Mabel grab the electric candles behind them and smile.

"Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!"

Mabel adds in, "Decorative candles!"

"You really think you can defeat us?"

"I-I don't really know. I'm not-I'm not really sure."

"It's worth a shot, I guess."

"Actually, since I done before, and always done it again-YES!" The Doctor draws his sonic and a random lighter from his bag. "This time, with friends!"

"So be it... (To wax figures:) attack!"

The figures begin closing in on the twins. They prepared to fire, but the Doctor quickly uses his sonic's radiowave to malfunction their firearms.

"BLAST! He disarmed us! Kill THEM!".

Wax Lizzie Borden swings her ax at Mabel, but was firebombed by the Doctor who has the sonic buzzing at the small flame of the lighter-using a chain reaction due to his improved screwdriver. She screams and drops her ax.

Wax Robin Hood shoots an arrow at Dipper, but the Doctor blocks it with Borden's dropped ax, stating: "Good o'l Richard the Lionheart!" Blocks another arrow. "Cyrano de Bergerac!" Blocks another one.

"The cutlass and the Cyberman! Lost my hand after I woke up!" Ducked from another incoming arrow.

"Can't count on that Count! Twice with my old friend!"

"An Arabian duel with Mr Chesterton!" Blocks yet another one. "...And let's not forget Errol Flynn!" This time, the fifth arrow that was shot, bounced right back to Wax's Robin's head.

Mabel runs around, but Wax Shakespeare sneaks up behind her. Mabel cuts off his hands with the candles, and he runs away. Wax Shakespeare's hands still move, and begin strangling Mabel. Mabel walks over to a door, and repeatably smashes it on its fingers

"Interview this, Larry King!" Dipper decapitates Wax Larry King with candle.

Wax Larry King screams "My neck! My beautiful neck!"

Wax Groucho Marx touches candle and his his hand begins to melt, "ARGH!"

"Jokes on you, Groucho!" As Dipper cuts Groucho in half using candle.

Wax Groucho Marx as the top half of his body slides off of the lower half "I've heard about a cutting remark but this is ridiculous! Hey, why is there nothing in my hand?"

"Nice one Dipper-INCOMING!"

Wax Genghis Khan runs at Dipper, but Dipper dodges and he runs right into the fireplace.

"Ha, Genghis Khan! You fell harder than the... uh... I don't know, uh, Jin Dynasty? Heh. Yeah. Alright." The Doctor chuckles at the attempted remark.

Mabel swings around Wax Coolio's head while getting overwhelmed by wax figures.

Wax Coolio shouts, "Ow ow ow ow! What's up with that?"

"Nevermore, Allen!" The Doctor firebombed Wax Edgar Allen Poe.

Mabel screams, "Dipper! Watch out!"

Dipper cuts Wax Richard Nixon's leg. "OUCH! Not so tricky are ya? They would never definitely forget you!" The Doctor stated.

The Doctor sees Wax Sherlock Holmes approach him and Dipper.

"Alright. Let's get this taken care of."

He puts Wax Stan's head on the horn of a rhino on the wall, and grabs a sword hanging on the wall. He then swings it at Dipper, smacking the candle out of his hand, and breaking it. He swings the sword above his head, and aims it at Dipper.

"Catch!" As Mabel throws a poker to Dipper.

Wax Holmes brings the sword on Dipper, but is blocked with the poker. Wax Sherlock keeps attacking, while Dipper blocks and is pushed back. Dipper is pushed back into the Attic Floor, and is cornered by Wax Holmes against the wall. He goes for the killing blow, but the Doctor blocks it with the ax.

Dipper and Sherlock confront each other again.

"Once The Doctor and your family is out of the way, we'll rule this town, and soon the World!"

Dipper looks at the window, and, just when Sherlock brings the sword down again, rolls through his legs and out the window, shouting "Don't count on it!"

"Come back here, you brat!"

Dipper climbs onto the Mystery Shack sign and Wax Holmes follows him. The Doctor trails behind. Dipper slowly walks across it, while Wax Holmes swings the sword at him. They clash between poker and sword while trying to maintain balance. Wax Holmes tries to hit Dipper with its sword, but Dipper jumps back, and the "S" in "Shack" falls off.

"You really think you can outwit me boy? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous!"

"Yeah, No Poopy, Sherlock!" The Doctor teased. Wax Sherlock Holmes fumed in anger.

Dipper laughs and begins to climbs off the sign, and behind it. Suddenly he sees the sun, which gave him an idea. He hides behind the chimney and looks out to see is Wax Sherlock is battling with the Doctor.

Wax Holmes kicks him down, and raises sword, "Any last words?"

"YEAH! You got any sunscreen?" Dipper shouts.

"Got any-? What? (Turns and sees the sun starting to rise; Gasps) No..."

"You know, letting a twelve-year old lead you outside? Probably not your sharpest decision, you just got "Sher-Locked." ( _A/N: BBC Sherlock was amazing)_

Wax Holmes continues to melt. "Outsmarted by a child in short pants! No! (Starts melting faster) Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Tiiter, total kerfuffle. Butter hallabaloo!"

"Case closed!" Wipes hands together; the dust makes him sneeze.

"Ha ha ha! You sneeze like a kitten! Those policemen were right, you're adorable! Adorable!"

"E-ew."

"Ach, don't worry about it Dipper-The Real Sherlock Holmes would never say that."

"But...he isn't real isn't he?" Dipper asks.

"That's they want you to think..." His mysterious godfather stated as he brought himself up.

* * *

Mabel throwing the remaining parts of the wax figures into the fireplace. Wax Shakespeare's head is the only noticeable wax figure left.

"Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise again!"

"I kinda doubt that..." The Doctor said.

Mabel says, "Y'know any limericks?"

"Uh... there once was a dude from Kentucky..."

"Nope!"

Mabel tosses his head in the fire.

"Indeed, _Expelliarmus_ I should say

Dipper enters.

"Dipper! You solved the mystery after all!"

Dipper pulls up a chair and takes Wax Stan's head off the wall. "I couldn't have done it without my sidekick."

"No offense Dipper, but you're the sidekick."

"What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?"

The Doctor laughs at their silly conversation.

Stan walks in. "Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor!?"

"Your wax figures turned out to be evil robot aliens, so we fought them to the death!"

"I decapitated Larry King."

"I wonder where he went..." The Doctor mutters.

"Ha ha! You kids and your imaginations!"

"On the bright side, though, look what we found." Hands Stan Wax Stan's head.

"My head! Ha ha! I missed this guy! You done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing."

"Oh I'm not so sure about that. Is there any other alternative...?"

"Oh uh... I'm not so sure..."

"Ha ha!" Stan noogies Dipper and Mabel.

Mabel and Dipper laugh.

Stan also offers a noogie for the Doctor...

"Alright, maybe just this once...(looks at Stan, Mabel, and Dipper)...as a family."

Blubs and Durland drive up to the window.

"Solved the case yet, boy? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee." (Takes a long, slow sip)

"Actually, the answer is yes." Dipper deadpans.

"Blu blu blu-" which he spits coffee in Durland's face.

Durland screams; spits coffee in Blubs' face.

Blubs screams; spits coffee in Durland's face,

Durland screams; spits coffee in Blubs' face.

"It burns! It burns!"

"My eyes!"

They drive away, screaming.

Stan, Dipper, and Mabel with the Doctor laugh together.

"They got scalded!"

A crash is heard.

"So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?"

"I am ninety-nine percent sure that I did!"

"Good enough for me!"

* * *

"Hey Dipper, which do you think is better? Sequins or llama hair?"

Wax Larry King hops to the vent next to her. "The llama hair. Llamas are nature's greatest warriors." (Hops off)

"Thanks Dipper!"

Dipper stops reading and looks around confusingly.

8-5 19 19-20-9-12-12 9-14 20-8-5 22-5-14-20-19. 4-9-16-16-5-18 3-18-1-23-12-5-4 20-8-18-15-21-7-8 13-25-19-20-5-18-25 19-8-1-3-11 19 1-3 19-25-19-20-5-13 20-15 20-18-1-3-11 8-9-13 2-21-20 13-1-2-5-12 12-9-11-5-4 8-9-19 9-14-20-5-18-22-9-5-23 23-9-20-8 8-5-18. 20-8-5 4-15-3 8-1-4 20-15 16-21-12-12 4-9-16 15-21-20 15-6 20-8-5 19-20-9-3-11-25 19-9-20-21-1-20-9-15-14.

 _A/N: Recently found out that good o'l Tom Baker, and (Rest in Peace) Peter Cushing played the most famous fictional detective separately in the same story Hound of the Baskervilles._


	4. Chapter 4

_PSplinter09: I am glad that you are enjoying the story so far, I just can't wait for what else in my mind of what this AU crossover looks like. Leave a review or PM if you have any advice or suggestions ;)_

 _I do not own DW and GF. Enjoy!_

* * *

 ** _The Hand That Rocks Mabel_**

As usual con-man to keep up an appearance, Stan Pines is out in the front yard with gullible tourists. "For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible "Sack of Mystery." When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears!"

The crowd mutters several positive things about the trick's credibility and Stan's character. Stan smiles at his gain and their loss.

The Doctor meanwhile, is brushing up the certain attraction of a blue police box...he thought fondly of certain events that will happen pretty soon...

 _TV Narrator: The tiger was badly injured in the explosion, but we repaired him with a fist. Tiger Fist! ...will return after these messages._

Soos Ramirez then stated, "Hey, look. It's that commercial I was telling you guys about."

 _Are you completely miserable?_

 _YES!_

 _Then you need to meet Gideon._

"Gideon?" Dipper questioned.

"What makes him so special?" Mabel added in.

 _He's a psychic. So don't waste your time with other so-called "man of mystery."_

The screen shows a clip of Stan coming out of an outhouse and is stamped with the word "FRAUD."

 _Learn about tomorrow tonight at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy._

"Wow, I'm getting all curiousy inside!"

Stan walks in. "Well, don't get too curiousy. Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothin' but trouble."

"Well, is he really psychic?"

"I think we should go and find out with the Doctor. Afterall, he knows about this place as well you do, Grunkle Stan."

"NEVER! You're forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof!"

"Do tents have roofs?"

"I think we just found our loop hole... literally!"

* * *

Later, the twins found the Doctor to investigate who Gideon actually was. They all head for the Tent of Telepathy.

"So come down soon, folks. Gideon is expecting you."

Bud Gleeful aka Gideon's father, stands at the entrance with a sack.

"Step right up there, folks. Put your money in Gideon's psychic sack."

Crowd mutters several positive things about the sack's credibility.

"Whoa, this is like a bizarro and reverse version of the Mystery Shack. They even have their own Soos."

Dipper points to a maintenance worker who looks very similar to Soos, named Deuce. Soos glares at the lookalike while munching on an empanada.

"Jelly-Babies, anyone?" The Doctor interrupted the mood.

"Thanks Doc! Oh-it's starting! It's starting!"

"Let's see what this "monster" looks like."

"I think people are watching too much TV about foreshadowing" The Doctor stated.

Curtains open and, behold a certain little boy-Gideon appears on the stage.

"Hello America! My name is Li'l Gideon."

Gideon claps and doves fly out of his hair. The crowd cheers.

"That's Stan's mortal enemy?"

"Meh, it is a long story" The Doctor says.

"But he's so wittle!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight! ...Such a gift. I have a vision. I predict that you will soon all say, "aww."

 _Gideon makes a cute pose and the crowd says "aww."_ The Doctor chuckles at the irony.

"It came true."

"What? I'm not impressed."

"You're impressed!"

"Hit it, Dad!" Gideon stated.

Bud Gleeful starts playing the piano and Gideon starts singing a song.

Gideon singing: _Oh, I can see, what others can't see_

 _It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability_

 _Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined_

 _And you too could see, if you was widdle ol' me!_

 _Come on, everybody, rise up! I want y'all to keep it going!_

Crowd, including Soos and the twins, rises, seemingly unintentionally, and they start to clap along with the beat. The Doctor meanwhile quickly pulls himself up and watched the show if he already expected it.

"Wha—? How did he—?"

"Keep it going!"

 _You wish your son would call you more._

Momentarily, an old woman with a cat on her lap shouted "I'm leaving everything to my cats!"

 _I sense that you've been here before._

Momentarily to Sheriff Blubs, who is wearing a shirt with Gideon's face on it and holding various other Li'l Gideon merchandise. "Oh, what gave it away?"

Dipper exasperated, "Come on."

Gideon singing; to Mabel: _"I'll read your mind if I'm able"_

 _"Something tells me you're named Mabel"_

Gideon leaves, and Mabel faces the readers, moves the popcorn out of the way, and ironically her sweater, which reads "MABEL."

"How'd he do that?"

 _So welcome all ye... to the Tent of Telepathy._ _And thanks for visiting... widdle ol' me!_

The song ends, Gideon is sweating and panting and the crowd cheers wildly.

"Oh... oh my goodness. (Drinks some water; to the audience:) Thank you! You people are the real miracles!"

"Woo! Yeah!"

* * *

"Man, that kid's an even bigger fraud than Stan! No wonder our uncle's jealous."

"Oh, come on. His dance moves were adorable! And did you see his white hair? It was like, whoosh!"

"More like a victim of using power that bears extreme responsibility" commented the Doctor.

"You're too easily impressed."

"Yeah, yeah!"

Next day at the Mystery Shack. Mabel goes up to Dipper, her face is bedazzled with sequins.

"Check it out, Dipper! I successfully bezazzled my face! Blink! (She blinks as she says this and some of the sequins fly off her face) Ow."

"Is that permanent?"

"I'm unappreciated in my time..."

"So was Vincent van Gogh, dear..." The Doctor assured Mabel with a wink.

The doorbell rings.

"Somebody answer that door!" Grunkle Stan shouted.

"I'll get it!"

Goes to get the door. She opens it up but there thinks is no one there. Mabel then looks down and finds Gideon.

"Howdy!"

Mabel exclaims surprisingly "It's "wittle ol'" you!"

Gideon laughs nervously, "Yeah, my song's quite catchy. Now, I know we haven't formally met, but after yesterday's performance, I just couldn't get your laugh out of my head."

"You mean this one?" which Mabel laughs obnoxiously.

"Oh, what a delight! Now, when I saw you in the audience, I said to myself, "Now there's a kindred spirit! Someone who appreciates the sparkly things in life."

"That's totally me!" Mabel laughs and coughs up some sequins that land on Gideon's suit, bedazzling it.

Gideon thoughts to himself, _"Enchanting. Utterly enchanting."_

"Who's at the door?!" Stan shouted.

"No one, Grunkle Stan!"

"I appreciate your discretion. Now, Stan's no fan of mine. I don't know how a lemon so sour could be related to a peach so sweet."

"Gideon! Aha ha!"

"What do you say we step away from here, and chat a bit more. Perhaps in my dressing room?"

"Oh! Makeovers. Yahoo!"

* * *

Gideon opens the door to his dressing room. Mabel stares in amazement.

"Ya see something you like? 'Cause I do."

Mabel laughs; cluelessly, "What?"

Mabel returns to the Mystery Shack with her makeover.

"Hey Dipper. What's goin' oooon?" Mabel dangles manicured fingernails over Dipper's head.

"Whoa, where have you been? And what's going on with those fingernails, you look like a wolverine."

"Do you mean hardcore Logan?" The Doctor randomly stated out of nowhere. The twins look at him confusingly.

"Anyways, I was hanging out with my new pal, Gideon. He is one dapper little man."

"Mabel, I don't trust anyone whose hair is bigger than their head."

"I am pretty sure he didn't have white hair before...did he dyed it?"

"Oh, leave him alone you guys!" Mabel said reassuringly. "You never want to do girly stuff with me, Dip; besides you and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time!"

"What do you mean?"

"Hey dude, you ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?" Soos says as he entered in the room.

"Am I!" Dipper excitedly stated. They both run off while Mabel stands there.

"Well, Doc?"

The Doctor chuckles, "Oh Mabel, don't you worry. Besides I often embrace your artistic fashion, people just need to lighten up a bit"

"Oh 'Space-Man', I still have the good memory of you helping me to knit my first shooting star sweater, and reading enjoyable science fiction to me and Dip all the time!"

"Right now, I say this: "Boys are sometimes questionable" am I right?" The Doctor stated. "Next thing you know, a white-haired Scotsman to a woman with a great Yorkshire accent" He said with a wink.

"One-at-a-time! One-at-a-time!"

Mabel chuckles.

* * *

Later, Mabel and Gideon on the roof of a warehouse.

"Whoa, the view from your family's factory is nuts! Good thing we both brought our—"

"—Opera glasses!" Both point their opera glasses at each other and laugh.

"Mabel, when I'm up here lookin' down on all those little ol' people, I feel like I'm king of all I survey. I guess that makes you my queen!"

"What? You are being so nice to me right now, quit it!" as she playfully smacks him in the stomach, since that recalled the run-in with Jeff and the gnomes.

"I can't quit it. I am speaking from the heart."

"From the where-now?"

"Mabel, I've never felt this close with anyone. So, so close." as Gideon strokes Mabel's hair and giggles.

Mabel pushes his hand away. "Look Gideon, I um..."

Gideon reaches to pet Mabel's hair again and giggles.

Mabel pushes his hand away. "I like you a lot, but let's just be friends."

"At least just give me a chance. Mabel, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?"

"A play date?"

Gideon shakes head.

"A shopping date?"

"Mmnn. It'll just be one li'l ol' date, I swear on my lucky bolo tie." Gideon replied.

"Ummm. Okay, then... I guess..."

"Mabel Pines, you have made me the happiest boy in the world!" as he hugged Mabel gleefully.

"Are you sniffing my hair?"

* * *

Back at Mystery Shack, Mabel and Dipper are playing a video game.

"It's not a date-date, it's just, you know, I didn't want to hurt his feelings and so I figured I'd throw him a bone."

"Mabel, guys don't work that way. He's gonna fall in love with you."

Mabel scoffs, "Yeah right. I'm not that lovable. (Shoots Dipper in the game) Kaboom! Yes!"

"Okay, we agree on something here."

Doorbell rings, Mabel goes to answer door. A horse busts through.

Mabel screams.

Gideon riding horse. "A night of enchantment awaits, m'lady!"

"Oh yeah? And I am a lord of time" The Doctor playfully jokes as he passed Gideon and Mabel.

* * *

Later to an aquatic themed restaurant, and then to the interior. The Doctor, Mabel, and Gideon are sitting together at a booth.

"I can't believe they let us bring a horse in here!"

"Well, people have a hard time saying no to me."

The Doctor smirked. Gideon was also friendly about the Doctor's character in Mabel's eyes, and let him be at her side.

Regretfully, however the Doctor knows that certain things are not as they seem...

"Ah, Monsieur Gideon! Ze feet on ze table! An excellent choice!"

"Jean Luc, what did we discuss about eye contact?"

Yes, yes, very good!"

Mabel exclaims, "I've never seen so many forks! And water with bubbles in it? Ooh lala, oui, oui!"

"Oh! Parlez vous francais?!"

"...I have no idea what you're saying."

"Do you speak French" The Doctor translates.

"Oh!...um, not really" Mabel blushes.

* * *

Stan soon is looking at a newspaper article showing a picture of Gideon and Mabel together, the Doctor is shown halfway in the photo.

The Doctor passes by.

"Hey, hey Doc! What the jackal is Mabel doing in the paper next to that crazy pickpocket Gideon?"

"Oh, yeah, it's like a big deal. Everybody's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight." Wendy replied.

"WHAT?! That little shyster is dating my great niece!?"

"I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple. Mabideon? Gideabel? (Gasps) Magidbeleon!"

The Doctor chuckles, "You been reading up those fan romantic fics too much aren't you?"

"I didn't know! I didn't hear about it and plus, I told her not to." Dipper stated.

Stan then stated, "Yeah, well it ends tonight. I'm going right down to that little skunk's house; this is gonna stop RIGHT now!" As he went out the door.

"Dude, wouldn't it be funny if that was a closet, and he had to come back out again and go out the real door? (Opens the door) Nope. Real door."

"I often lost myself in many rooms some time" the Doctor remarked fondly.

* * *

Stan's car skids to a halt in front of Gideon's house. He drives his car up to Gideon's house and skids to a halt in front.

Stan knocks on the door. "Gideon, you little punk! Open up! (He reads sign on the door that says "Please Pardon This Garden") I will pardon NOTHING!"

Bud opens the door. "Why, Stanford Pines! What a delight!"

"Out of the way Bud, I'm looking for Gideon!"

"Well, I haven't seen the boy around, but since you're here, you simply must come in for coffee!"

"But-but I came-"

"It's imported! All the way from Colombia!"

"Wow... I went to jail there once. Until 'Doc Jimmy Snakes' bust me outta there-Heh! Some digs you got here. (Sees a clown coming out of a sewers painting) Oh, this. This is beautiful."

"Now, I hear that your niece and my Gideon are, well, they're singin' in harmony lately so to speak!"

"Uh, yeah, and I'm against it. Nyah."

"No no no. I see it as a fantastic business opportunity. Yes, the Mystery Shack and the Tent of Telepathy-I got the tent's brand idea from a doctor who drew a star for kicks, then I added an eye in the middle for fun. Anyways we've been at each other's throats for far too- lemme get that (Rips down a picture of Stan on a dart board) we've been at each other's throats for far too long, yes we have. This is our big chance to set aside our rivalry and pool our collective profit, you see."

Stan clicks a cash register with his old habits. "I'm listening."

* * *

"...And so I said "Autograph your own head shot lady." Gideon laughs.

Mabel nervously laughs, "Yeah... " The lobster on her plate pinches her fork. The Doctor is accompanied with her.

"Mabel, tonight's date was a complete success. And tomorrow's date promises to top this one in every way!"

"Whoa whoa, you said just one date, and this was it."

"Hark! What a surprise! A red crested South American rainbow macaw!"

Macaw flies in and lands on Gideon.

Mabel screams and grabs the lobster.

Gideon whispers "...two three four..."

"MABEL! WILL YOU- ACCOMPANY- GIDEON- TO- THE BALLROOM DANCE- THIS- THURBDAY."

Gideon shakes it violently.

"Graceful" The Doctor said.

"THURSDAY!" which the bird coughs up a letter and flies away.

"Oh, so adorable."

"Gideon's got a girlfriend."

Gideon states "They're expectin' us. Please say you'll go."

"Oh, Gideon, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to say-"

Blubs remarked, "I'm on the edge of my seat."

Tyler Cutebiker stated with happiness, "This is gonna be adorable."

"If she say's no, I'll die from sadness."

The Doctor replies "Pfft, I can verify that that will indeed happen."

The people are chattering.

* * *

Mabel walks with the Doctor by Dipper as he's reading his book.

"Hey. How'd it go?"

"I don't know... (Puts lobster in tank) I have a lobster now."

"Well, at least it's over and you'll never have to go out with him again. (Pause) Mabel? It's over, right? Mabel?" Looks at the Doctor. "Doc?"

"BLAARRGG! (Flails arms) He asked me out again and I didn't know how to say no."

"Like this: no" advised Dipper.

"It's not that easy, Dipper! And I do like Gideon, as a friend slash little sister, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings! I just need to get things back to where they used to be. You know, friends."

"Oh yeah, I mean-he planned the fireworks display with good o'l McGucket."

* * *

Out at night in the middle of the lake. Old Man McGucket is rowing a boat with Gideon, Mabel, and the Doctor in it.

"Boat in the night! Boat in the night!" McGucket laughs.

"Hah, you know I thought dancing was gonna be the end of the evening, right?"

Gideon leans in. "Don't you want this evenin' to last, my sweet?"

Mabel recoils. "NO! I mean yes. I mean I'm always happy to hang out with a friend, buddy, pal, chum, other word for friend..."

McGucket tries to help out. "Pal?" He said fondly.

The Doctor shrugs.

"I already said pal, uh, mate?"

"How about soul mate?"

Fireworks appear that show the name "Mabel" within a heart.

McGucket remarks "Well, you can't say no to that."

* * *

"..I mean, he's so nice, but.. I can't keep doing this. But I can't break his heart. (Shouts) I have no way out!"

"What in the heck happened on that date?"

"I don't know! I was in the friend zone, and then before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone. It was like quick sand! Chubby quicksand!"

"Yep, pretty quick."

"Mabel, come on. It's not like you're gonna have to marry Gideon."

Stan enters. "Great news, Mabel. You have to marry Gideon!"

"WHAT?!"

"It's all part of my long term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus I got this shirt. (Gestures to his "Team Gideon" shirt) Ugh, I am fat."

Mabel screams and runs out of the room.

The Doctor jovially states, "Bad timing, I should say"

Stan calling after her, "Bodies change, honey! Bodies change..."

The Doctor remarked, "Ain't that true...Mabel?" He goes up in the attic.

Dipper follows into the attic and seeing Mabel hiding in her sweater. "Oh no. Mabel..."

"Mabel's not here. She's in sweater town."

"Are you gonna come out of sweater town?"

Mabel whines and shakes head. The Doctor pats her back.

"Alright, enough is enough. If you can't break up with Gideon, me and Doc will do it for you."

"You will?"

Dipper nods.

"I second that" The Doctor says.

Mabel hugs Dipper. "Oh, thank you thank you guys, thank you!"

Dipper replies, "Alright."

"Just remember, some need a honest answer in front of them..."

* * *

The Doctor and Dipper goes to The Club, where Gideon is sitting in a red curtain booth awaiting Mabel.

Dipper approaches Gideon and clears his throat.

"Oh. Dipper Pines, Mr-I mean...Dr 'Dale Cooper'-right? How are you? You both look good, you look good."

"Thanks, you uh... Look, Gideon. We've got to talk. Mabel isn't joining you tonight."

"Yes, unfortunately she isn't able to come tonight."

"Yeah, uh, she doesn't want to see you anymore. (Laughs nervously) She's uh. She's kinda weirded out by you, no offense."

Gideon's eye twitches. "So what you're sayin' is... you've...come between us."

"You're not gonna like, freak out or anything, are ya?"

"Of course not. These things happen. Bygones, you know" Gideon stated.

"Excellent understanding, young man! Just remember, with a great power comes with a greater responsibility. Hope you bear that in mind" The Doctor advised with a tip of his hat.

Gideon whispers, "Power indeed, my friends..."

* * *

"How'd it go? Was he mad? Did he try to read your minds with his psychic powers?"

"Don't worry, Mabel, he's just a kid. He doesn't have any powers."

"Even if he does, his brain won't handle my mind anyways!" The Doctor chuckles.

* * *

"Dipper Pines, Doc...you don't know what you've done! (Grabs his amulet and a candle starts to levitate and the light bulbs on his boudoir explode. Other things in the room begin to levitate) You BOTH just made the biggest mistake of your LIVES!"

Throws the levitated objects on the ground.

Bud opens the door, "Gideon Charles Gleeful, clean up your room this instant!"

"I CAN BUY AND SELL YOU, OLD MAN!"

"...Fair enough." Bud leaves.

Gideon looks at a taken picture of The Doctor (though his bottom face is only showing with his usual coat), Dipper and Mabel, and burns away Dipper's and Doctor's sides of the picture.

* * *

"Hit me, dude!"

The twins charge at Soos' stomach and bounce off, laughing.

"Feels good."

"I'm so glad everything's back to normal!"

Telephone rings.

"I'll take it!" The Doctor said. "Yes? Hello? Who is this? What do you want?"

"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper."

"Mr Determined! What do you need?...I see...Another strange occurrence in the town? Sure, of course I'll investigate as always...Yes, Dipper can come...412 Gopher Road. Tonight? Got it."

* * *

Toby hangs up the phone.

"There. I did your so-called dirty work. Now it's time you pay YOUR end of the bargain!"

Gideon throws Toby a slip of paper.

"Ha! Shandra Jimenez's phone number! Bless you, Li'l Gideon!"

* * *

412 Gopher Road: The Doctor and Dipper opens the warehouse door.

"Hello? Is anyone here? Toby has sent us...I am the Doctor, I can help."

Dipper with the Doctor turns to leave, only for the door to slam shut which both turn around when lights start turning on. Gideon swerves around in a swivel chair, petting a doll of himself. The Doctor braces for grabbing his screwdriver from his pockets.

"Hello friends."

"Ughh, Gideon."

"Dipper Pines. How long have been livin' in this town? A week, two? You like it here? Enjoy the scenery?"

"What do you want from me, man?"

"Listen carefully, boy. This town has secrets you couldn't begin to comprehend!"

"Is this about Mabel? We told you, she's not into you!"

"LIAR! YOU turned her against me! (Grabs amulet and walks toward Dipper) She was my peach dumplin'!"

"Gleeful, before you lose your cool as Skywalker did, isn't already late? Besides, I don't think you can handle...that power's responsibility..."

"Uh, you okay, man?" Dipper adds in.

Gideon levitates Dipper and the Doctor high and throws them into a pile of merchandise. The Doctor quickly grabs Dipper away from the impact.

"Readin' minds isn't all I can do..."

"But-but you're a fake..." Dipper stutters.

"Oh tell me, Dipper: is this fake?" As he levitates all the merchandise.

* * *

Mabel outside of the Mystery Shack, thinking and chewing on her hair.

Wendy walks outside and sits next to Mabel, "How's that hair tastin', buddy?"

"Wendy, I need some advice. You've broken up with guys, right?"

"Oh yeah: Russ Durham, Eli Hall, Stoney Davidson..."

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel all gross."

"...Pysche Wirley, Nate Holt, oh, that guy with the tattoos..."

"Maybe letting Dipper do it for me was a mistake. The Doctor was right, Gideon deserves an honest break up."

"...Danny Feldman, Mark Epston... Oh man, I'm not sure I ever actually broke up with him. No wonder he keeps calling me."

"I know what I've gotta do. Thanks for talking to me, Wendy." Runs to get a bike and rides off on it.

Wendy takes out her ringing cell phone, "Ignore."

* * *

Dipper is running away from the merchandise being thrown at him and the Doctor. Gideon laughs evilly and moves a cabinet to smash Dipper. The Doctor jumps out of the way and saves Dipper again.

"Grunkle Stan was right about you, you ARE a monster!"

"Your sister will be mine!" Gideon laughs evilly and pulls the sting of one of his dolls, making it laugh evilly.

Dipper grabs a baseball bat and gets up. The Doctor pulls his sonic.

"Who's a cute little guy? You are!"

Dipper shouts and charges at Gideon with the bat. Gideon levitates Dipper and he drops the bat.

Dipper shouts, "She's never gonna date you, man!"

"That's a lie! (Looks at a box of lamb shears) And I'm gonna make sure you never lie to me again, friend."

Levitates the lamb shears. "DIPPER!" The Doctor shouts, but was blocked by the armlet's force-field barrier. It also wrapped around him up midair.

The lamb shears were right in front of Dipper's mouth when-

Mabel runs to the window from outside and sees Dipper, their godfather, and Gideon. "Gideon! We have to talk!"

"M-Mabel. My marshmalla. (Drops the shears) What are you doin' here?"

"I'm sorry Gideon, but I can't be your marshmallow. I needed to be honest and tell you that myself."

"I-I don't understand." Squeezes the amulet, therefore squeezing Dipper and the Doctor in midair.

Dipper while choking, "Uh, Mabel!? This probably isn't the best time to be brutally honest with him!"

"Mabel-(Gasp)-QUICK!"

"Hey, but we can still be makeover buddies, right? Wouldn't you like that?"

"Really?"

No, not really! (Pulls off Gideon's amulet and both Doctor and Dipper falls) You were like, attacking my brother and our godfather! What the heck?!"

"My tie! Give it back!" Mabel throws the amulet to The Doctor.

"Ha! Not so powerful without this, are you?"

Gideon screams and charges at both the Doctor and Dipper, making him to toss back the amulet, and the impact of Gideon tackling Dipper sent both and the Doctor breaking through the window.

"OOF!"

"Dipper! Doctor!"

Dipper and Gideon scream. Gideon slaps Dipper and the two start slapping each other and then start screaming again. However the Doctor grabs both of them and braces for impact.

"Brace Yourselves!"

Mabel, who is holding the mystic amulet, levitates the three of them and then floats down.

"Nice save!"

"Thanks! Listen Gideon, it's over. I will never, ever, date you."

Dipper shouts, "Yeah!"

Mabel drops them and throws the amulet to the ground, and the Doctor steps on it. He glared solemnly at Gideon. "We already warned you...and saved your life. RUN."

"MY POWERS! Oh this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of wittle... ol' me!" Gideon retreats quickly.

* * *

Stan finishes signing papers." Ah, this is livin', brother."

"From now on it's all name brand foods and clown paintings. (Sees Gideon barging in) Well, hey, Gideon! Why, look who I—"

Gideon stands on the coffee table. "Stanford Pines, I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee!"

"Rebuke? Is that a word?"

"The entire Pines' family have invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions!"

"What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something?"

"Apbap bap but-but sunshine? (Laughs nervously) What about our arrangement with Mabel and—"

"SILENCE!"

"Well, uh, I see that he's takin' to one of his rages again. Eh, sorry Stan, I have to side with Gideon on this one." Rips up the contract.

"Okay, okay. I can see when I'm not wanted." Grabs the clown painting and starts to leave.

"Stan, I'm-I'm sorry but I'm gonna need that painting back! Stan? STAN!"

Stan running away. "TRY AND CATCH ME, SUCKERS!"

* * *

Back to the Mystery Shack, where Stan is hanging up the clown painting and the twins are a mess. The Doctor fixed his hat.

"I coulda had it all. (Looks at the twins) What the heck happened to you three?"

"Gideon." The twins stated.

"Gideon. Yeah, the little mutant "swore vengeance" on the whole family. Ha, I guess he's gonna try to nibble my ankles or somethin'."

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, how's he gonna destroy us now, huh? Try to guess what number we're thinking of?

"He'll never guess what number I'm thinking of. NEGATIVE EIGHT! No one would guess a negative number."

"Forty-two is my favorite number" The Doctor adds in.

"Uh oh. He's plannin' on destruction right now!" Stan laughs and lays on top of the twins.

* * *

In Gideon's room. He's making dolls of the Pines family, and the Doctor.

Gideon playing with the Mabel doll. "Gideon, I still love you. If only my family weren't in the way.

Picks up the Stan doll and imitates Stan. "Look at me. I'm old, and I'm smelly."

Finishes the Dipper doll; mocking Dipper. "Hey, what are you gonna do without your precious amulet?"

Picks up the doll he already created to look similar to the Doctor, "Oh you'll see...I will have my new power..."

Holds up Journal 2. "You'll see..."

* * *

The Doctor and Dipper are helping out Mabel and Soos.

Soos is facing away from the screen and Mabel is doing something to him.

"You done?"

"Not yet."

"How about now?"

"Almost. And...there."

Soos turns around, covered in sequins. "Let's do this."

Mabel turns the light off and Dipper shines a flashlight on Soos, causing the room to light up like a disco ball.

The Doctor plays the recorder that matches the background tune.

Stan is there, having seen this all unfold.

"You're all fired."

3-1-18-12-1 23-8-25 23-15-14 20 25-15-21 3-1-12-12 13-5 8-5-25 19-20-1-14 21-19-5 20-8-5 16-15-12-9-3-5 2-15-24 16-8-15-14-5


	5. Chapter 5

_PSplinter09: I am not sure what you meant-sorry. I have to plan things out to see if it fits in the story._

 _Meanwhile, the Doctor has been already familiar with...the teenagers, love, and ghosts._

 _Update: Happy Halloween! For me, I dress up as "your good o'l" Grunkle Stan carrying a "Stan's Buck" ;)_

* * *

 _ **The Inconveniencing**_

Gompers is with the Doctor on the rooftop of the Mystery Shack, which he is in a deep thought; Dipper and Mabel are in the Shack. Mabel is sitting on a spinning globe.

"Mabel, do you believe in ghosts?" Dipper straight out asked the question.

"I believe you're a big dork! Ha ha ha!"

Dipper puts pencil against globe, making Mabel fall off.

Stan Pines enters from outside. "Soos! Wendy!"

Soos Ramirez runs up, panting, "What's up, Mr. Pines!"

"I'm headin' out. You two are gonna wash the bathrooms, right?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Absolutely not!" Wendy retorted.

"Ha ha! You stay out of trouble!"

"Hey guys! What's this? (Unveils curtain) A secret ladder to the roof?"

"Uh, I don't think Mr. Pines would like that."

"Huh?"

"Uhhhhh..."

"Huh?" Wendy said again.

"You're freaking me out, dude!"

"Can we actually go up there?"

"Sure we can! Roof time! Roof time!"

"Roof time! Roof time!"

"HELLO!" The Doctor says.

"Ack, Dr Houston! You kinda scared me!"

"Sorry! But then again-since I showed you this place to the roof, why not join me?"

Soos looks out window. "Uhhhh..."

* * *

The Doctor, Dipper, Mabel, and Wendy walk over roof to a certain spot.

"Alright, check it out!" Wendy states.

"Woah!" Both twins exclaim.

"Cool! Did you put all this stuff up here?"

"Thanks to Doc, I may or may not sneak up here during work, all the time, everyday. (Throws pine cone, it hits a target on a totem pole) Yes!"

"Cool!"

"Me first!"

Dipper and Mabel throw pine cones.

Dipper hits a car; the car alarm goes off and blushes. "No Worries!" The Doctor quickly zapped the car to quiet the alarm with his sonic and quickly puts it in his pockets before anyone notices.

"Jackpot! High five. (Holds up hand) ... Don't leave me hangin'."

Dipper and Wendy high fives.

"Oh hey, Dr Houston! It's my friends!"

Thompson pulls up in car. Waves hand out window. "Wendy!...Mr Houston!"

"Hey Doc, you guys aren't going to tell Stan about this, are you?" Wendy asked.

Dipper zips lips.

Wendy zips lips too. "Later dorks!" Slides down trees and gets into car.

"Hm...just like her mother..." The Doctor whispered fondly.

Thompson stated excitingly, "Let's get out of here!"

Dipper shouts, "Later Wendy! Heh heh heh! Good times!"

"Uh, oh!"

"What?"

Mabel poking Dipper, "Somebody's in love!"

"Yeah, right! I just think Wendy's cool, okay? It's not like I lie awake at night thinking about her!"

The Doctor chuckles. "Don't jinx it, Dipper."

 _Soon at night_

Dipper is wide awake, and is thinking about Wendy.

"Uh-oh."

* * *

"Random dance party for no reason!" Mabel dances.

The Doctor tap-dances with a sombrero out from his bag.

Wendy dances alongside them. "Go! Go! Go! Go!"

Dipper writing: _I am pretending to write something down._

"Dipper!"

Dipper by surprise throws clipboard up and catches it. "Uh what, yes?"

"Aren't ya gonna get in on this?"

"I don't really dance."

"Yeah, you do! Mom used to dress him up in a lamb costume and make him do... (whispering to Wendy:) The Lamby Dance!"

Dipper angrily tells Mabel. "Now is not the time to talk about the Lamby Dance."

"Lamb costume? Wow, is there like little ears and a tail or...?"

"Well uh, uh..."

Mabel holds up a picture. "Dipper would prance around and sing a song about grazing."

The Doctor chuckles fondly at the memory he remembers while living with the Pines Family...

Wendy's phone beeps. "Hey, look at that! Quittin' time! Doc Houston, and gang's waitin' for me for a mini-summer investigation!"

"Oh-Yes! Of course, see you outside Wanda! Now I wonder where Zeus went..."

Wendy chuckles at the Doctor's quick movements to get started...ever since he was her teacher.

"Wait! Why don't I-or we come with you?"

"Ooh... I don't know. My friends are pretty intense. But since your godfather is there, I can make a deal you can't refuse. How old did you guys say you are?"

"We're thirteen! So, technically a teen."

"All right. I like your moxie, kid! Let me get my stuff."

Mabel questioned, "Since when are we thirteen? Is this a leap year?"

"Come on, Mabel. This is our chance to hang out with, you know, the cool kids. And Wendy and whatever. Besides I want to go with Doc on a paranormal mission, I can't believe he does that here!"

"Wait a minute...I knew it! You love Wendy! (Dances around Dipper, points at him and sings:) Love love love love love!"

"Oh hey, what's that?" Dipper distracted.

"Huh?"

Dipper flips Mabel's hair over her face.

"Bleh, bleh, bleh."

* * *

 _Flashback:_

 _Gravity Falls High School was an usual high school like any other in America. Especially in the state of Oregon. However, it would be in the place of this strange town with anomalies everywhere._

 _And of course-a certain anomaly would appear with a blue box, would teach at this school._

 _"Mr Pines, I would have to admit, your reputations precedes you."_

 _The principal of Gravity Falls High is examining a resume under name (or rather, an alias): Dr Houston Pines._

 _"I have to ask, are you related to Stan Pines-owner of the so-called Mystery Shack in any way?"_

 _"Not exactly, we are actually great friends."_

 _"I see..."_

 _As he further analyzed the paper; wondering how this peculiar present "substitute teacher" wandered successfully in schools in many academic areas: Coal Hill Academy, Deffry Vale High School (specializing in physics), Farringham School for Boys as a history teacher, Brookfield School (London) in Latin, Archie Andrews High School, John F. Kennedy High School as an orchestra teacher, North Shore High School as a calculus teacher, Horace Green prep school as a band teacher, Crunchem Hall as a mere-assistant to a female teacher named Miss Honey, North Quay Secondary School as an engineering teacher, Vermont boarding school Welton Academy as an English teacher,_ _and as a lecturer at St. Luke university._

 _"My word...have you went to many places and also staying in this town?"_

 _"Of course! Of course, Texan Lee High School-I stopped their crazy process of hazing; bad habit I should say! Rushmore Academy, Vince Lombardi High School-I convinced all to teach together with rock' n' roll so there weren't any riots, Bronson Alcott High School-They Love Shakespeare! Shermer High School-I helped students from a detention to create a great club! Ridgemont High School-good o'l fast times, Rydell High School-Greasy! Faber College, X Middle School, School for Gifted Youngsters-can you believe people hated superheroes? Hill Valley High School, Padua High School, Bailey School,_ _3rd Street Elementary School,_ _and unforgettable Springfield Elementary. I have to say, "life is indeed strange" at Blackwell Academy, Beecher Prep was wonderful, and restoring order to Bullworth Academy was massive. Then again the Class-3E and SOS Brigade were quite memorable. I just can't believe that Bomont High School had "no-dancing" law."_

 _"You have me, sold...I can't believe your status as an adventurer."_

 _"Not to worry, besides everyone says that..."_

 _"I just hope that these teenage students are quite open to your optimism"_

* * *

 _As students began to take their seats, they began to whisper of the certain news that came this school: a man with a fedora and snazzy "costume" is going to teach them social and natural science at this school today. This period, he is going teach history. Although, there are some who are not quite interested in these "boring" classes and homework._

 _"...then there was Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Disney XD, and Hub!" The voice says interrupting their thoughts._

 _The voice belong to the unique and unusual teacher they just heard about: he was wearing a fedora, a bow-tie, fancy white cuffs near to his wrists, a sports vest, outlashed rainbow coat, a question-mark umbrella on his shoulders, ragged-like sash, a set of wearing converse, and spenders. Suddenly he took off his hat-underneath was yet another hat, a karakul. However when does this-the students were dazzled if they saw a magic trick: he was then wearing a fancy green-like outfit if it was half Edwardian or western. Then he took off that hat, and yet again the students were stunned; he now wore some glasses, and had some sort-of-a-haircut, his hair was ginger with bit of blonde and blue. His outfit also changed again: a usual tuxedo fashion without a tie._

 _"Good morning students! For this period, I am your World History teacher, Doctor Houston Pines! However..." he gave out a cheery wink. "...you can call me the Doctor."_

* * *

 _News was in the air about this peculiar teacher._

 _"Dude, he was super-awesome. He was teaching some-sort of karate to defend ourselves from our bullies!"_

 _"When they poked fun at the tallest guy in our class with a drawing...he taught us about the importance of Anne Frank." A familiar red-haired teen girl adds in._

 _"He helped me after class on AP calculus, and violin!"_

 _Meanwhile, the Doctor was jovially lecturing a certain student._ _"...if I read one more note from your classmates who talks "about how hot she is in a bathtub", her "fake British accent", or if she is still married...I am going to regenerate, do you get that?" (A/N: Easy A reference)_

 _The student nods in understanding._

 _"Heh-Heh, just remember Mr Valentino, being almost gloomy would also need some cheerfulness once and a while. "An unjust law is no law at all". Oops, ah...wrong quote! "Do or Do Not Try There Is No Try" got it? (He says with a wink) Oh and you can invite yourself with the others to go on a paranormal investigations pretty soon in summer I do around here! Also here's your sweater back which I gave it to you when you were younger in this town" as the Doctor winks._

 _"-You kinda lost it in the halls..."_

* * *

The Doctor often snoop around the town for " _paranormal purposes"_ he would say...with couple of known teenagers.

Lee and Nate are holding up Thompson. "In the belly! In the belly!"

"Come on! Hurry up!"

Robbie Valentino, who is in a black sweater with a snitched heart, gets ready to throw jelly bean.

However, a bean already hits Thompson in the belly button.

Robbie looks at his bean in confusion.

It was Wendy was the one who threw the bean; Wendy straightens up from her throwing position, smiling.

"Wendy!"

Nate exclaims, "Wendy! Wendy!"

"Hey guys! These are my pals from work, Mabel and Dipper."

"I chewed my gum so it looks like a brain! BLAH!" Mabel sticks out her tongue, which has a wad of gum on it.

"She's not much for first impressions. (Points at himself) Unlike this guy! ...this guy..."

"So are you, like, babysitting, or-"

"Come on, Robbie! Guys, this is Lee and Nate."

Lee and Nate punch each other and laugh.

"Tambry."

Tambry texting: Hey...

"Thompson, who once ate a runover waffle for 50 cents."

"Don't tell them that!"

"And Robbie. You can probably figure him out."

"Yeah, I'm the guy who spray-painted the water tower-"

"Oh Good Heavens! You mean the artwork of the big muffin up there!" The Doctor came about.

"Um...Doc, it's a giant explosion."

Everyone looks at water tower.

"Hehe-he's right! Kinda does look like a muffin!"

Lee and Nate laugh. "Nice one!"

Robbie glares annoyingly at the Doctor's back. "Why Dipper, Mabel...what you two doing here?" The Doctor asks the twins.

"We are here for adventure! Right Dipper?"

"Um...yeah, with Wendy!"

"Well then, I say "why not?" Come along then."

"Let's hurry it up, guys. We got big plans for tonight!"

Everyone gets into the car.

Dipper goes over to the passenger seat and sees Robbie there.

"Sorry kid, I'll ride shotgun as usual alright?"

Dipper gets into the back with Mabel, and the Doctor

"Okay just, before we go, my mom said you guys aren't allowed to punch the roof anymore, so..."

Teens except Thompson punches roof. "Thompson! Thompson! Thompson!" The Doctor chuckles.

Thompson drives the car.

Mabel takes pen from Dipper, crosses out, "You stink!" on her door, writes "You look nice today!"

"Ha! This is gonna blow someone's mind!"

"Mabel, please!"

"Oh come off it Dipper-besides I might be Banksy" The Doctor comments while fixing some sort of machine.

"Yeah! What, am I embarrassing you in front of your new GIRLFRI-"

Dipper slaps hand over Mabel's mouth; pulls it away.

"Ugh! Did you just lick my hand?"

* * *

 _"You're watching the black and white period piece old lady boring movie channel crossover!"_

"Kids! Doc! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!"

 _"Stay tuned for the BBC Friday night movie, The Duchess DisApproves The Crown, starring Sturly Stembleburgiss as "The Duchess", Victoria H. as "Queen Elizabeth", special guest-M. Smith, and Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble as irascible coxswain "Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire!"_

"KIDS!"

The Duchess Approves begins. Stan is mentally stuck watching this.

"NO! NOOOO!"

* * *

"There it is, fellas! The condemned Dusk 2 Dawn!"

"Ha! Cool!"

"Neato!"

Dipper asks, "Why'd they shut it down, was it like a health code violation, or-"

"TRY MURDER!"

"Some folks died in there, the place has been haunted ever since!"

"This town has such a colorful history!"

"Indeed" the Doctor adds in. He holds some sort of remote with his sonic.

"Wha... Are you guys serious?"

"Yeah! We're all gonna die! Chill out man! (Wendy punches Dipper friendly) It's not as bad as it looks!"

"Yes...they were good fellows anyways..." The Doctor remarked fondly. "Never knew what happened to them."

Everyone over the fence but Dipper, The Doctor, and Lee. Dipper is straddling the fence.

"Come on, Dipper!"

"Okay Okay! Just gotta get a foothold..."

"Dude, your sister did it!"

Mabel running on the ground sideways in a circle. "WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP!"

Lee climbs up behind Dipper. "Hey, you know what. Just... There you go. (Throws Dipper off the fence) Ha! S-sorry dude!"

"Good job throwing the kid off the fence, genius!"

"Your mom's a genius..."

"-And I am half-human" The Doctor ends the argument. Everyone looked at him while he merely walks on the metal fence then over.

"Sucker-shoes! Comes in handy in top-secret missions!...Alright, let us investigate a sighting around here."

Wendy looks in the window of the store. "Wow! This place is amazing!"

Robbie tries to open door. "Doc! I think it's, it's stuck!

"Let me take a crack at it!"

"Oh yeah. I can't get in, but I'm sure Junior here is gonna break it down like Hercules!"

"Come on, leave him alone. He's just a little kid."

Dipper walks around to dumpster; jumps up on it.

"Kid, what are you doing?"

Dipper walks up the roof to the vents; punches it.

"Go Dipper! Punch that metal thing!"

Dipper punches the vent cover into the vents; walks inside.

"Hey Dipper, take it easy!"

"Who wants to bet he doesn't make it?"

"Five-Four-Three-Two-One, right on time!" The Doctor exclaims.

Dipper walks out door; gestures for everyone to go inside.

"Good call inviting this little maniac!"

"Your new name is Dr. Funtimes!"

Mabel high-fives Dipper.

Wendy punches Dipper friendly. "Nice work!

"Hope others don't find out..." The Doctor comments.

Dipper skips inside after everyone else goes in. The Doctor uses his remote-tracker.

"Do you guys really think it's haunted?"

"Na! Thompson are you kidding me?"

"Possibly, Thompson." The Doctor points the remote to a sign. The sign mysteriously turns from "Yes, we're open" to "Get lost! We're closed."

"Whoa man, it's even creepier than I imagined!"

Mabel wipes dust off change slot. Licks the dust off her finger. "Yep. It's dust."

"Hey dude, where do you think they keep the dead bodies?"

Nate shoves Lee. "Shut up, man!"

"Guys, check it out! You think these still work?" As she turns on lights.

Teens muttering positive things about the store.

"Jackpot!"

"So, what are we going to do now?"

"Investigate...You guys meet me up pretty soon, I am going to do some detective work!" The Doctor playfully comments.

* * *

Everyone throws food at each other, then, they sit in a circle and pop mints into a Pit Cola bottle; it explodes and everyone cheers.

Mabel runs around corner. "Oh my Gosh! Smile Dip! I thought this stuff was banned in America!"

"Maybe they had a good reason." Gets hit by a balloon full of food. Dipper playfully runs off.

Mabel puts the stick into the the Smile Dip. Looks at the stick, then pours the entire package into her mouth.

Wendy and Dipper are eating ice pops on a shelf.

"Hey come here we got it ready!"

"Whatever it is I'll do it!"

Wendy laughs. "Thompson! Dipper, this night is like, legendary."

"Really?"

"Just look around. The guys are bonding, thanks to Doc...I have to say, he is amazing teacher. Where is he anyways...?"

Robbie and Nate stuff ice into Thompson's pants.

"I've never even seen Tambry look up from her phone this long."

Tambry looks up from her phone for a second.

"And your sister seems to be going nuts with that Smile Dip."

"Ugh, maybe I've had too much. What do you think?"

 _Mabel's hallucination: she is in a valley that changes colors, and crazy pop music plays in the background._

Flavor pup: Detsurt eb tonnac rotcod eht!

Flavor pup #2: Would you like to eat my candy paws?

"Of course you little angel!" As she rabs the paw and chews it; Mabel is chewing on air.

"You know Dipper, I wasn't sure if you could hang with our crew at first, but you're surprisingly mature for your age."

"Yes, yes I am." As he smears ice cream on face.

"Hey guys! We need more ice!" Lee shouts shaking a bag of ice over Thompson's pants.

"I'm on it!"

Dipper jumps off the shelf and walks over to an ice freezer, in which he meets the Doctor.

"Dipper! Hello there...I am having a weird signals..." as he opens the freezer.

Dipper takes a bag of ice as the door opens but looks up to see some sort of monster.

"Gah!" As Dipper drops the ice and the Doctor quickly closes the door; Dipper gasps and the Doctor looks back at the door; he slowly opens the door again but the monster is not there.

"What was that? I thought I heard some lady screaming back here."

"You freakin' out, kid?"

"Uh, no. I'm cool. Everything's cool." Dipper replied.

"Indeed." As The Doctor fixed his hat. "Cool as ice, am I right Ms Corduroy?" Wendy chuckles.

Robbie questioned, "Then what's all this about?" As he points to the spilled ice.

"That's uh, um uh...hey look! Dancy Pants Revolution! The game that tricks people into exercising!" Dipper said.

Teens mumble in agreement and walks over to play it.

"Heh heh, yeah lets all- let's go play that..."

Turns around and looks at the cooler's door. The Doctor puts his finger to his lips and motioned to follow them. Both walked to the video game.

Thompson is playing Dancy Pants Revolution, and everyone cheering him on.

"Pants Dance! Hurry up!"

"Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!"

"Wow. He's really terrible at this."

"Heh heh, yeah. That's, that's great."

Looks into a glass door, and sees the reflections of The Doctor, Wendy, Robbie, Tambry, Thompson and himself. Their skin, however, is replaced by bones, Dipper rubs his eyes and everything is back to normal.

"I'll be right back. (Runs off to use a telephone) Come on, Grunkle Stan, pick up! Ugh, what is he doing!?"

* * *

 _"I don't care about Dukes, or Commoners, or His Royal Highness Lionel of Cornwall! I'm not afraid anymore, Mother!"_

 _"Duchess, I forbid you."_

Stan eats ice cream.

"I may be a Duchess, but...I'm also a woman!" As she takes her hat off to reveal her long hair flying in the wind.

"Yes! Yes! In your face Elizabeth! It's just like my life!...in a way."

* * *

"Mabel, Doc! I need your advice. We're hanging out in a haunted convenience store, I can't get a hold of Grunkle Stan, and if I try to say anything about it to any of these guys they'll just think I'm a scared little kid or something!"

Mabel makes a gurgling sound with Smile Dip all over her face, clothes, and her eyes small and green.

"Mabel?"

The Doctor quickly checks her status.

"Oh dear, she's flying with crazy pop music..."

"The future! ...is in the past! Onwards Aoshima!"

Dipper shakes Mabel. "Mabel! How many of these did you eat!?"

"Beleven.. teen..."

"Oh man. Oh man, oh man, oh man."

Robbie uses a quarter to scratch lottery tickets. "Ha! Ha ha ha! (Drops the coin and it rolls onto the floor and stops in front of a white line; goes to pick it up but stops) Whoa guys, you might wanna see this."

Everyone gather around the tape markings and started talking to each other. The Doctor stated sadly, "It can't be..."

"Whoa. Then the rumors are true!"

Dipper gulps.

"Dude, I dare you to lie down in it."

"Good idea! Go lie down in it!"

"I'm a dead body, look!"

"Wait! Maybe let's not do that."

"This guy's scared!"

"All I'm saying is, why tempt the fates? I mean.. What if this place really is... haunted?"

"Boo! Ah c'mon!"

"Yeah, take it down a notch, Captain Buzzkill!"

"I thought I was Dr. Funtimes."

"Well, you're acting like it! Right?"

"Oh-yeah, Then I am Captain Obvious!" The Doctor retorted. He quickly looks around with Mabel in his hands.

Tambry texting: Status update: Trapped in store with insane 9-year old, and a clown teacher.

"I'm not a 9-year-old! (lies down in tape markings) I'm 13! Technically a teen!"

"DIPPER, WAIT!"

The tape markings light up and the lights go out. Tambry looks up and dissolves.

Dipper picks up her phone, reading from it: "Status update: AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!"

Tambry appears on security camera screen. "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Teens and Dipper scream, "AAAAUUGGH!"

"Tambry! Tambry!"

The Doctor exclaims, "Can you hear us!?"

Tambry looks around in confusion.

"Doc, what are we supposed to do!?"

Robbie shouts, "Let's just go already!"

"Thompson!" The Doctor quickly shouts.

Thompson playing Dancy Pants Revolution. "Wait! I've almost got the high score! (dissolves and reappears inside the game) Uh? What?"

"It's time to shake what your mama gave you!"

"No! So many arrows!"

Dancy Pants throws arrows down on Thompson. "You're a dance machine!"

Dipper exclaims, "Oh no!"

"Thompson!"

"Forget them! Let's go!"

The doors close.

"What the... (tries to open the door but can't) Guys... It's locked!"

"OUTTA MY WAY!" Which Robbie throws the cash register at the doors, but it dissolves and green light flies at Robbie.

"Everybody, wait! Whatever's doing this has to have some kind of reason! (opens the Journal #3) Maybe if we can figure out what it is, they'll let us out of here!"

"Nice observation Dipper-

"Yeah right, I'm sure the ghost just wants to talk about his feelings! (Screams as Lee dissolves and reappears on a cereal box) W-what?"

"I'm bonkers for eating you alive!"

"No!"

"You guys will be fine, we just need to find the source of trouble to end this."

"Lee! Okay, okay.. I'm with you kid! 100%, man!"

A ghost then possesses Mabel, flies up behind counter; through Mabel, deep voice: "Welcome!"

Dipper, Nate, Robbie, and Wendy scream.

"They got Mabel!"

"Welcome to your graves, young trespassers."

"We're super sorry for hanging out in your store!"

"Yeah! Can we just go now and leave forever?"

"Well... okay. You're free to go. (Opens doors) But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs!"

"Well, "Mr Gelth" I would like to try some but-"

Nate and Robbie scream and run for the door.

The ghost closes doors. "Just kidding about the hot dog sale!"

"Just let us out of here already!"

"I don't like your tone!" And dissolves Nate.

Nate reappears as a hot dog on the stove. "No! I'M A HOT DOG!"

"It begins. (Makes everything float to the ceiling) Welcome to your home for all eternity!"

"Dipper, Doc what do we do?!"

"DUCK!"

"And RUN!"

Both Dipper and Wendy duck to avoid a flying shelf, they quickly run to the Doctor which he holds both hands to go to the ice machine.

"What do they want from us?!"

"Revenge, I guess?"

"Close!" The Doctor stated.

"What did we do wrong?"

"Think about it" The Doctor advised.

"Okay, let's try to figure out the pattern here. Why was each person taken? Tambry was texting, Thompson was playing a video game, Lee was being sarcastic; it doesn't make any sense!"

"Yeah! I mean, those are all just normal teenage things."

"Wendy, say that last part again."

"Normal teenage things?"

"Of course! Stay here until I get back!"

"I am with you Dipper!"

"Dudes, what are you doing?!"

"Hey ghost!"

The ghost twists Mabel's head around to face Dipper and the Doctor, then turns the rest of her body towards them.

"We've got something to tell you! I'm not a teenager!"

"And I am very old!"

The ghost drops everything that's floating and appears holding Mabel by her hair with Ma) Hohoho! Well why didn't you say so?" As he drops Mabel into a pile of candy.

"WAAH! (Mabel Lands in the candy and rubs her head) Ohhh..."

The Doctor quickly rushes to Mabel, "Are you alright?"

"How old did you say you were?"

"I'm... (Reluctantly:) I'm twelve, technically not a teen."

"Meanwhile, I was trying to figure out what happened here. It is almost was a long time isn't it..."Mr Pa and Ms Ma?"

"Doc! It is been awhile! Let us tell you...when we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store!"

"Tsk...Ouch..." The Doctor remarked.

"Always sassafrassin' costumers with their boomy boxes and disrespectful short pants! (Flashbacks to the day he and Ma died) So we decided to up and ban them! (Pa in the flashback places a sign labeled "NO TEENS" on the store window) But they retaliated with this new fangled rap music."

"The lyrics, they were so, hateful! It was so shocking, we were stricken down with double heart attacks! That's why we hate teenagers so much! Don't we, honey?"

Both Ma and Pa nuzzle. The Doctor nods regretfully.

"But, listen, they're are our friends, isn't there anything we can do to, help them?"

"There is one thing. Does that kid know any funny little dances?"

"Uh... is there anything else we can do?"

Pa lights himself on fire. "NOOOO!"

"OKAY OKAY OKAY! Um... Well, I do know...the Lamby Lamby Dance. Bu-but I can't really do it, without a lamb costume, and Doc as a shepherd!"

Pa snaps his fingers and Dipper is in a lamb costume, and the Doctor is in a shepherd's outfit. "Huh...That was pretty fast." As he analyzed the given, tall crooked staff.

"Oh, well...um, sorry Doc there it is."

"Hold on then..." The Doctor quickly brings out a flute from his bag. "Let's try to enjoy this and forget this never happened, hey Dipper?" The Doctor grinned with a wink.

Dipper nods. _"Wellll..."_

The Doctor plays the flute, and dances too at the catchy tune.

 _"Who wants a Lamby lamby lamby? I do! I do! So go up and greet your Mammy mammy mammy! Hi there! Hi there! So march march march around the daisies..."_

"Yes, Yes! More! MORE!"

Dipper marching and singing: " _Don't don't don't you forget about the babies!"_ (Sweats, winks)

The Doctor ends with a perfect note.

"That was so fine, girly dancin' boys! Your friends are free."

Dipper and the Doctor are back in their usual clothes. "Well I don't think you have to worry about us coming back, so..."

"Indeed, just searching the answers of what happened to you two, fine dancing I should say-heh...farewell then...to the stars..." The Doctor says reassuringly to them.

"Oh (sniff) thank you Doctor, just remember... _for there is another song yet to end_...Thank you...for giving us peace..."

Ma and Pa disappear and allow everything to fall back to the floor and freeing the teens.

"Ugghh... I'm never gonna eat or do anything ever again."

"That's the spirit Mabel!"

"Hey! (Dipper picks up a package of Smile Dip) There's still some left!"

Mabel slaps it out of his hand. "EVIL!"

Lee asks Wendy. "What-what happened after everything went crazy?"

'You are not going to believe it! The ghosts appeared, (laughing) and Doc with Dipper had to... (sees Dipper looking at her) Uh, and uh..."

"Dipper just grabbed a bat, and just started beating ghosts down, left and right, and the ghost got all scared, and ran away like a couple of little girls, it was insane!" The Doctor adds in. "Meanwhile that wraps up of out daily adventure!"

"Alright! Dr. Funtimes!"

Wendy and The Doctor turns to Dipper and zips lips with winks.

Dipper in return zips lips too.

After cleaning up the place, all head for the van.

Everyone except The Doctor, Dipper, and Wendy are sleeping in the van.

"Well, I'm probably scarred for life."

"Yeah, that was pretty crazy."

"I think I'll go stare at a wall for a while and RETHINK EVERYTHING. Hey, next time we hang out, let's stay at the Mystery Shack. Okay?"

"Next time? Yah! Let's, let's hang out at the Shack! Yeah... (gets in the car, to himself) Next time..." As he gets in the car and sits next to Mabel.

"Give or take, Dipper-let relationships grow..." The Doctor remarked.

"OHHHHH... (sees the thing she wrote earlier) What kind of sick joke is this?"

The car drives away from the store, and the lights go out in the store. Everyone went home.

* * *

"Ah, the wedding. I've waited so long for this. Oh, look at her in that dress! (angrily as people on the TV gasp) Count Lionel? What's he doin' here?!"

 _"I've come to reclaim my bride!"_

"You had your chance at the cotillion, you!"

 _"You had your chance at the cotillion, you!"_

"That's what I'm SAYING! UuuaaaAAAAGGGHHH!"

Outside, The Doctor with Dipper and Mabel are walking to the door. The television flies out the window and nearly hits them.

"Uh...couldn't find the remote."

The Doctor laughs hysterically.

15-14-23-1-18-4-19 1-15-19-8-9-13-1 19-15-15-19 9-19 1 7-9-1-14-20 1-14-9-13-5 16-1-14-4-1 3-18-5-1-20-21-18-5 20-8-1-20 13-1-11-5-19 20-8-5 6-15-18-5-19-20-19 7-18-15-23 1-14-4 12-5-20-19 25-15-21 19-12-5-5-16 15-14 8-9-19 20-21-13-13-25. 20-8-5 4-15-3 23-15-14-4-5-18-19 23-8-25 19-15-15-19 9-19 13-9-19-20-1-11-5-14 1-19 1 7-15-16-8-5-18 13-1-14


	6. Chapter 6

_PSplinter09: Oh, Yes definitely! It kinda depends on which episode they would fit in the best :P_

 _Now in this episode, Dipper plays on ideas of masculinity. Enjoy!_

* * *

 _ **Dipper Vs.** **Manliness**_

Tyler Cutebiker is in the Mystery Shack where he is interested to buy certain things.

"I like to get my Christmas shopping done early. Do you have anything that's in the spirit of the season?"

Stan Pines replies, "Uh, how about these crystals?" As he puts a bowl of "crystals" on the counter.

"Ha ha! Looks like broken glass."

"What are you, a cop?" Stan angrily replied.

"Ooh! You mean that new thing?" as Tyler motioned to the certain police box.

Dipper Pines interrupts, "Grunkle Stan?"

Mabel Pines adds in, "Can we go to the diner? We're huuungry."

"Huuuuungry."

Dipper and Mabel hit their stomachs against each other three times.

"Yeah, sure. Soon as this yahoo makes up his mind." Stan stated.

Tyler pointing at a fur trout. "Do you have this in another animal?"

"I'm fine locking him inside if you are."

Mabel and Dipper nod eagerly; soon where Stan has clumsily locked Tyler in the gift shop.

"Puma shirt, panther shirt. Puma shirt, panther shirt. Puma shirt... (pauses) panther shirt."

* * *

Waitress hits a woodpecker on a wall and a beaver in a hole in the floor with a broom.

Old Man McGucket shouts, "Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!"

Sheriff Blubs is eating pancakes very quickly while Deputy Durland points a speeding device at him.

"Go! Go! Go! Go!"

Soon Dipper, Mabel, and Stan are at a table. Lazy Susan walks up to the table.

"Lazy Susan! There's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday?"

"I got hit by a floating double decker bus!"

"Ha ha ha ha! Hilarious!"

Lazy Susan replies, "Thank you. Ha ha ha ha hee hee ho ho ho."

"You do split plates, right?"

"Maybe... (Makes her lazy eye wink) Wink!"

"Great! We'll all split a one-fourth of the number seven, plus a free salad dressing for the lady, and a small plate of ketchup for the boy."

Lazy Susan writes it down and walks off.

"But Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes!"

"With the fancy flour they use these days? What am I, made of money?"

Ironically, a piece of money shows out of Stan's sleeve. "Tap tap." As he taps it back in the sleeve.

"Awww..."

Dipper looks over and sees the Manliness Tester. "Don't worry guys, pancakes are on me. I'm gonna win some by beating that manliness tester."

"Manliness Tester?" "Beating?"

Stan and Mabel burst out laughing.

"He says he's... he says he... HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Stan laughs.

Dipper raised his eyebrows. "What? What's so funny?"

Mabel replies, "Oh, no offense Dipper, but you're not exactly "Manly Mannington." Ha ha ha!"

"Hey, I am too "Manly... Manny" or whatever it is you said." Dipper awkwardly replied.

"Look, face the music, kid. You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's... " _incident_ " Stan states.

* * *

 _Flashback: Dipper in the bathroom wearing a towel and singing at the mirror with a comb as the microphone._

 _"Disco girl...coming through...that girl is you..."_

Stan walks into the bathroom.

"DON'T COME IN! DON'T COME IN!"

* * *

"You were listening to girly Icelandic pop sensation "BABBA"?

Dipper denies, "No. Heh heh, I wasn't. It's not important. Look, come on guys, I'm plenty masculine. You see this chest hair?"

Brings down shirt, to show his chest and it shines very brightly.

"Put it away, put it away!" Mabel screams dramatically.

Stan adds in, "So smooth! My eyes!"

"Aw man..."

Stan and Mabel burst out laughing again.

Dipper pouts, "Fine, "family of little faith." Get ready to eat your words. And a plate a delicious pancakes."

Walks toward the manliness tester as other people eating watch. "Alright, Dipper. Time to manhandle this...man handle..."

Dipper stares up at the machine and starts sweating.

"And a one and a two..."

Stan shouts, "Quit stallin'!"

Dipper starts tugging on the handle and the light starts moving toward the category he belongs in. The categories are "wimp," "middle-aged woman," "barely possible," "man," and "manly man." Dipper keeps on pulling the handle until the light goes down to "wimp." A card comes out of the machine that says "You are a cutie patootie!"

"Oh, what? This thing must be broken. It's totally broken, guys. It's like a million years old, probably ran out of steam power or-"

Dipper gets pushed out of the way by Manly Dan. Manly Dan cracks his knuckles.

"It's rickety man, you shouldn't even-"

Manly Dan pushes on the handle with his pinky and the machine automatically goes to "Manly Man" before exploding and giving everyone free pancakes.

"Yes! Pancakes for everyone!

Everyone at the restaurent cheers. A pancake falls on Dipper's head. Mabel and Stan laugh at Dipper."

Dipper mumbles, "I need to get some chest hair and fast. (Starts running out but is tripped by a beaver) I'm fine! Heh heh! Everything's fine!" as he runs out.

Stan states, "Yeesh! How am I related to that?"

Mabel replies, "Come on, Grunkle Stan. I'm sure deep down you have a soft side too."

"Ha! Nothing in here but a cold, dark, empty soul..."

Lazy Susan puts the food on the table. "Food!"

"Thanks there, sugar pot. I-I mean, I mean uh honey wasp, kitten baby, b-baby cow."

Lazy Susan chuckles. "Ha ha! Silly! (Starts walking away) Silly man..."

"What was that about?"

"Arrr...Nothing. I don't wanna talk about it. Talk about what? Why is this table wet?"

Mabel thinks. "...Wait just a second. I think I have an idea happening here. You..."

Stan shouts, "No!"

"And her..."

"Stop it!"

"AAAHH!" Mabel cracks.

"Oh boy."

"You have a thing for Lazy Susan! You do have a soft side!"

Stan puts his finger over her mouth. "Keep it down, will ya?! Alright. I admit it, okay? It would be nice if she liked me. But I've been out of the game for so long I wouldn't know where to start. I mean, look at her. She's so classy."

Lazy Susan hits the spinning pie trolley. "Spin, ya dumb pies, spin!"

"Grunkle Stan, you are a cranky, gross, weird old man. But we will get Lazy Susan to like you because nothing is stronger than the power of-"

"Love?"

"Mabel. To victory!" As she drinks salad dressing.

* * *

Dipper walks down the street.

"Not manly enough, stupid diner, stupid lumberjack..." Gets sprayed by water.

Sheriff Blubs comes to the scene. "Another hydrant destroyed. It's a gosh dang mystery."

Deputy Durland adds in. "Wanna take off our uniforms and run around in circles?"

Sheriff Blubs with his shirt off. "Quit readin' my mind!" He laughs.

They both start running around with their shirts off and screaming in delight. Dipper backs up and bumps into a woman with a grey hooded coat with a colorful striped shirt.

"Oops! I'm sorry. I was looking for the mailman."

Dipper stutters. "Oh what? Are you saying I'm not a "male man?" Is that what you're trying to say? I'm not male? I'm not a man? Is that-is that what you're getting at?"

"Actually, I am just trying to prove he doesn't have lycanthropy...are you crying?"

Dipper tries not to cry and runs off.

* * *

"Five-Four-Three-Two-Now..." The Doctor states with the tip of his hat.

"...No chest hair yet. (Lays on the ground) Is it physical, is it mental, what's the secret? (Holds up a bag of jerky on the ground that says "You're inadequate!") You said it brother. I need help."

"I think I can try to do that..." The Doctor states.

"Oh! John!...I mean, Doctor-or Doc!" Dipper quickly pulls himself up.

"It seems you are right on time! You see I am still looking around paranormal stuff in these areas and days! Want to join in?"

"Urm...sure, but I don't have the journal though..."

"Not to worry, my dear boy-I still have the remote from our last ghastly adventure!" The Doctor replies while pulling it out. "I have thought I tracked the Gelth signals around there with my so-called "delinquents" teenage assistants."

"Heh...right, (remembering that Grunkle Stan didn't believe in paranormal...or Dipper's own strength) Doctor, do you think I "manly" enough?"

"...Tracking certain icy and bioengineering readings...hm what was that?"

"I tried to be a "man" in front of my grunkle and sister, but they are right-I still feel not strong enough."

Dipper suddenly sees the Doctor's face become solemn.

The Doctor quickly bends down at Dipper's height.

"Dipper...for long time-I finally understand in this time period why...Just remember- _arguing about what a good man looks like is just a waste of time. Be one._ You-know: my great o'l reptile-friend said this; "Perhaps you are concerned before and later. There is a saying-yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift!...(whispers slightly with a wink) that is why is it called the 'present'. You got it?"

"...I guess..." Dipper replies slowly.

"Besides, together with others we faced those pesky gnomes, a monstrous robot, creepy but weak Aut-wax dummies, and ghosts!"

The ground then suddenly begins to shake very hard and a large roar is heard. Various animals begin flying or running in the opposite direction of the noise.

Manly Dan runs out of nowhere, "For the love of all that's holy, run!"

A tree begins to fall on the stump that has Dipper's hat and near to the Doctor, and Dipper runs and grabs it before the tree squashes it. The Doctor flips backwards into the series of bushes, dropping his remote which the tree crushes it. Another roar is heard and the shadow of a creature is seen getting closer to Dipper.

Dipper screams high pitched. "Wait...sorry." Screams on a lower octave and coughs.

The 'creature' comes out of the forest and lets out another loud roar, however it is just a yawn. It takes a deer and scratches itself, and throws it away afterward. The deer soon runs off. He looks over in Dipper's direction and knocks away the log he is hiding behind.

"Please don't eat me! I haven't showered! In like a week! And, I'm all elbows! Elbows, and gristle!"

"YOU...!"

"Ah!"

"Gonna finish that?"

Dipper looks at the jerky. "No. (Tosses it to him and the Minotaur begins eating) I can't believe it, part animal, part human. Are you some kind of Minotaur?"

"I'm a manotaur named Chutzpar! Half man! Half...uh...half taur!"

"So did I, like, summon you or-?"

"The smell of jerky summoned me! JERKY! (Punches a tree down and smashes a rock against his head) YEAH! Ha ha! Heh. (Starts sniffing the air and then smells Dipper) I smell... emotional issues!"

"I have problems, Manotaur. Man-related problems."

Chutzpar sits down and pats his leg.

Dipper rests head on the Chutzpar's leg. "Well, it all started when my own uncle called me a wimp..."

"Uh-huh, uh-huh."

"And I kind of flunked this manliness video game thing..."

"Mm."

"Then I found my family's friend wandering around but then you showed up-he disappeared! I have to find him! Hey, you know, you seem pretty manly. Maybe you could give me some pointers? Also my friend is a doctor."

"...Very well. Climb atop my back hair, child!"

"Uh... okay."

Chutzpar runs through the woods with Dipper on his back. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!". Crashes through a tree and keeps running)

Dipper gets hit by a branch and a bird nest. "Dude, watch out!"

They ran off for a mile. "Doc! Doc! Where are you? It is Dipper!"

Chutzpar suddenly jumps over a gorge. "YEAH!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Chutzpar crashes through the side of a mountain.

Dipper opens his eyes. "Whoa..."

Inside the mountain is a cave full of Manotaurs.

"This place is amazing!"

"The gnomes live in the trees, the merpeople live in the water, 'Cause they're losers! But we Manotaurs, crash in the MAN CAVE! (Rings a gong) BEASTS! I have brought you, a hairless child!"

Dipper states awkwardly, "...S'up."

Chutzpar gesturing to several manotaurs. "This is, uh, Pubetor, Testosteror, and Pituitor. And you are?"

"My name's Dipper...(Manotaurs boo) The...uh, Destructor?"

"Yeah. Yeah that's better."

Chutzpar bangs the gong. "Dipper The Destructor wants us to teach him the secrets to our manliness."

"I need your help! (pulls down shirt to show hairless chest) Look at this guys! Look at this!"

"I must confer with the High Council. (The manotaurs turn around and huddle) So..teach him our man secrets or what?"

"He's a human; I don't like him."

"I DON'T LIKE YOUR FACE!"

Manotaurs start fighting

Dipper smiles. "I like these guys."

* * *

Back at The Mystery Shack. Stan is shuffling some cards.

"Okay, Grunkle Stan. Welcome to the first day of whatever is left of your life! First, a before picture." As Mabel takes a picture of Stan and startles him with the flash.

"Ahh!"

"I never miss a scrapbookertunity! (opens scrapbook) Deedly dum, memories. (slaps the picture on an empty page) Bleep. Let's start out with some roleplaying. Soos will play Lazy Susan."

Soos states. "I'm soft, like a woman."

"Grunkle Stan, show me how you approach a woman. Remember this is a safe, non-judgemental environment. I'll just be right off the side judging you on a scale from one to ten."

Stan walks up to Soos and spits to the side. "Can I borrow some money?"

Mabel blows whistle. "This is gonna be harder than I thought."

* * *

"Arrgh...ouch..."

The Doctor quickly sits right back up.

"Dipper? Dipper!"

He quickly went to the place where Dipper was picked up by the manotaur. He quickly studied the prints the creature left behind.

"Hoofs...oh gosh-not those guys again! But then again in short, Dipper might be with them...meanwhile, from the broken remote-I am tracing certain readings of...no...THAT'S Impossible!"

* * *

"After a lot of punching, we have decided to deny your request to learn our manly secrets."

"Denied!" As punches himself in the face)

Dipper challenged, "Denied? Ok, fine. That's ok with me. Obviously you guys think it would be too hard to train me. Maybe...you're not man enough to try."

"Not MAN enough!?"

"Destructor..."

"Not MAN enough!?"

"He didn't mean it."

"I have three Y chromosomes, six adam's apples, pecs on my abs and FISTS FOR NIPPLES!"

"Seems to me you're too scared to teach me how to be a man. Hey, do you guys hear that? It sounds like.. Bock-bock. Bock. Oh, that's weird-Bocock, bocAW! Is that?-BACAWK! That sounds like-BACAW! Yeah, a bunch of chickens!" Dipper mocks.

Manotaurs gasp, and huddle again.

"I feel all weird."

"He's using some sort of brain magic!"

"After a second round of deliberation, we have decided to help you become a man!"

"Man! Man! Man!"

Dipper excitingly states, "Great! Thanks guys, whatever it is, I will not let you down. Also I need to rescue and find my friend too!"

* * *

Soon Dipper and the Manotaurs in front of a hole in the ground labeled "Pain Hole".

"Being a man is about conquering your fears."

"For your first man test, you must plunge your fist-INTO THE PAIN HOLE!"

Dipper asks. "The what..?"

"Pain hole, schmainhole-WAHHH! AHHH! (slaps himself) AHH!"

"Are you sure this is really necessary?"

"You want to be a man, don't you?"

"Man! Man! Man! Man!"

Dipper puts his hand in the hole. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

His screams cause some birds to fly away.

* * *

Meanwhile Mabel and Grunkle Stan are still inside of the Mystery Shack.

Mabel sitting in chair. "Alright! Let's try to get that inner beauty on the outside. Smile harder."

Stan struggling to make an unconvincing smile. "EHHH...AGGHHH..."

Mabel stands up in her chair. "Harder!"

Stan is still struggling to smile. "AGGGHHH...WEEAAGGHH..."

"Perfect. Soos!"

Soos appears beside Mabel, holding sandwich. "Sup, hambone."

"Wha'd'you think?"

Soos suddenly screams. "AAAAAAHHHH!" Throws his sandwich in the air, and runs out of the shack, leaving the door swinging on its hinges.

Mabel sighs. "This is going to take some really great training music."

Holds up a CD labeled "Training Mix", puts it in a CD player and presses play.

Music starts, Mabel dances, Stan scratches his back. Little that they know, certain eyes are watching them...

* * *

Manotaurs and Dipper are enjoying in a hot spring

"Guys, I just wanna say that these last few hours have been...I-I feel like there's really been some growth."

"I have a growth!"

"Clark, you are hilarious today! It's just you guys took me under your wing, and have just been so supportive."

"Oh, stop."

"No, you know what? You really have been. I think I feel like I'm finally becoming a man here."

Chutzpar waves hand. "Not yet, Destructor. One final task remains. The deadliest trial of all."

Dipper clenches fist. "I've survived forty-nine other trials. Whatever it is, bring it on!"

"Yeah!"

* * *

Chutzpar licks a tattoo and applies it to Dipper's arm. It reads "Rad Dude". The other says "Too Cool". Dipper stands up tall, and the first row of Manotaurs kneel before him. The row behind takes out bones and plays the others' heads like drums.

"Behold our leader, Leaderaur!"

Two Manotaurs are standing in front. They part, and an old, hunched Manotaur walks out.

"Rum te tum tum..."

"Is he like the oldest, or wisest, or...?"

Old Manotaur raises hand slowly. "Greetings, young-(A mouth comes down into the frame and eats the old manotaur) - AAAGHHHHHH!"

"Naw, he's just the offering. That (points upward) is Leaderaur."

Camera pans up Leaderaur's body, up to his head. He sucks in the old manotaur and swallows.

"You - You wish to be a man?"

Dipper banging on chest. "HUUUAAARRRRGGHHH!"

"Yeah!"

"Then you must heroic act, go to highest mountain (reaches into his chest and pulls out a spear) and bring back head of...the Multi-Bear!" Tosses spear at Dipper's feet.

Manotaurs gasp.

"The Multi-Bear? Is that some sort of bear..?"

"He's our sworn target! Conquer him and your mansformation will me complete. Soon we will go to War against certain two rivalries!"

"Conquer? I don't know, man."

Chutzpar looks through Dipper's backpack and pulls out the BABBA case. "Destructor, is this yours?"

Dipper snatches it. "Oh no! Ha ha, I don't know whose that is, just borrowing it, friend's, not mine."

"Mmm, I don't know about this..."

"Uh...(walks back to the spear) Hmph. (picks it up over his head) I SHALL CONQUER THE MULTI-BEAR!"

The manotaurs cheer. Leaderaur spouts fire from his nose. A fire spark falls on Dipper.

Dipper puts out the fire. "I'm okay!"

* * *

The Doctor quickly runs far off where he tracked down certain energy readings.

Soon enough, he found himself in a valley where a hidden skirmish was taking place.

"It can't be! It really CAN'T BE THOUGH!"

Across from him in a gorge away from any eyes, there was a green reptilian group with metal armor and claws are fighting against a streak of blue and grey rounded armored soldiers...

Apparently, because of a crack in time and space; a certain Sontaran patrol ship clashed with an Ice Warriors' transport ship above the Oregon's state area which both challenged each other in a duel under certain galactic guidelines in this certain town's valley, away from prying eyes of humans. This would eventually lead to an unnecessary war and a paradox...

"SONTARAN-HA! SONTARAN-HA! SONTARAN-HA!"

"SSSUUURRRENDDDERRR OORRR DDIIEEE!"

The Doctor exclaims, "Goodness, this became quite complicated!"

Sees the skirmish becoming a full-length battle. "Well-then again, everyone wants to see what happens if you get Ice Warriors vs those so-called "unstoppable warriors" across the galaxy!"

He quickly sees Dipper climbing up the mountain, while facing off from the hidden battle. He also sees that certain creatures known as Manotaurs are also with him and some are watching the battle.

The Doctor mentally has a light-blub idea, after he spots the two individual ships and certain boulders.

Dipper arrives to Multi-bear's cave. "I'm comin' for you, multi-bear."

* * *

"Okay, Grunkle Stan. You started like this.. (Puts up Stan's before picture) But you became.."

"Can I scratch myself now?"

"No! No, no, no! Is that throw up on your shirt?"

"I don't know how to answer that."

Wendy joins in. "Face it, Mabel. Your uncle's unfixable. Like that spitting pie thing in the diner."

Suddenly right on cue, they all hear a giant explosion, mainly from the incoming battle that would affect the town soon enough. Mabel snaps back to reality which she has an idea.

"Grunkle Stan, come with me! (Runs to the door) And leave your pants at home!" Mabel quickly shouts, while running outside.

"With pleasure!"

* * *

Dipper asked himself. "What is a Multi-bear?"

Behind Dipper, the multi-bear wakes up. Dipper then notices the muti-bear behind him. Multi-bear roars.

"Oh, that's a multi-bear."

"Bear heads, silence! (Hits the head still roaring. It gets silent after a bit) Child, why have you come here?"

"Multi-bear! I seek your head! Or, one of them, anyway? There's like-what? Six heads?"

"This is foolish! Leave now! Or die!"

Dipper points his spear at multi-bear.

"So be it."

Dipper runs up the wall.

Multi-bear smacks a pile of bones towards Dipper.

Dipper hides behind a rock, avoiding the bones. Jumps on one of multi-bear's head and runs to the top, choking the main head with the spear and making the Multi-bear fall down. "A real man shows no mercy!"

Multi-bear sighs. "Very well, warrior. But will you grant a magical beast one last request?"

"Uh.. Okay."

"I wish to die listening to my favorite song."

Points out to a tape player with a speaker box.

"The tape is already in there. You can just hit any- (Dipper presses a button) Yeah, yeah, that's it."

The song "Disco Girl" plays.

"You listen to Icelandic pop group BABBA? I-I love BABBA."

"I thought I was the the only one. All the manotaurs made fun of me because I know all the words to the song "Disco Girl."

"Oh, you mean (singing:) Disco girl..." Dipper sings.

Multi-bear singing: "Coming through..."

Multi-bear and Dipper singing: "That girl is you! Oo-oo o-oo!"

Dipper laughs. "This is crazy! Finally someone who-who understands- uh.. Oh yeah. I guess I'm suppose to kill you? Or I'll never be a man?"

"I accept my fate."

"No! Really?"

"It's for the best."

Dipper raises his spear but it hits the floor of the mancave. "I'm not gonna do it."

"You were told! The price of man is the multi-bear's head!"

"Listen, Leaderaur, alright? You too, Tesosteraur, Pubertaur, and.. I don't know, whatever you're name is. B-Beardy."

Beardy replies, "It's Beardy."

"You keep telling me that being a man means doing all these tasks, and being aggro all the time, but I'm starting to think that stuff's malarkey."

The manotaurs gasp.

"You heard me, malarkey. So maybe I don't have muscles, or hair in certain places, and.. sure, when a girly pop song comes on the radio, sometimes, I leave it on! 'Cause dang it, top 40 hits are in the top 40 for a reason! They're catchy!"

"Destructor.. What are you saying?"

"I'm saying the Multi-bear is a really nice guy. And you're bunch of jerks if you want me to cut off his head!"

Leaderaur stands up and destroys the spear. "Kill the multi-bear or never be a man!"

"Then I guess I'll never be a man." Dipper directly replies.

The manotaurs boos and were about to mock Dipper more, until-

"You Heard the Man!"

The manotaurs were started by the Doctor's appearance with a electric guitar. "Dipper thank goodness I found you! Certain clues lead me here."

"All of you peps are blaming an ancient creature for just singing because in your minds for such a creature, death would be a gift."

Leaderaur recognizes him. "DOCTOR! A SWORN ENEMY OF US!"

Dipper's eyes widen. The Multi-Bear had Dipper by his protective side.

"Meh, I wouldn't say an enemy because you guys are puny and annoying compared to many other so-called superior beings I encountered."

"YOU WILL BE CRUSHED BY OUR HANDS DUE TO THE EMBARRASSMENT YOU CAUSED US!"

"Yeah-Yeah, besides there is a battle going on outside, if you guys are strong and tough you say you were, why not..."

Quickly runs to the Multi-Bear's tape recorder and voice box, hooks them up, and sets his electric guitar.

"...Enjoy it fully by a dance battle with a chain reaction? HIT IT BEAR AND DIPPER!"

Both the Multi-bear and Dipper pressed play which cause a giant voicewave shaking the manotaurs back to the entrance tumbling off the mountain. Multi-Bear held Dipper safely.

"ARGH!"

Leaderaur regained his position and with a roar, charged at the Doctor.

"WATCH OUT!" Dipper shouts.

But the Doctor swiftly uses his movements to flip the incoming charge out the cave's entrance.

"Venusian Aikido gentlemen, with a chain reaction!"

The tumbling manotaurs caused the other manotaurs at the bottom of the mountain thinking it was time to join in the fray of Ice Warriors and Sontarans. Eventually this would make giant rocky boulders to cause collisions and confusion.

In the end, both warring aliens' ships retreated with their own men inside of them and quickly speeding off in lightspeed into the crack where they came from (thus closing it soon after) before anyone outside the valley's gorge noticed them; all of the manotaurs were flopped on the bottom were both dazed and dusted. Dipper only gained brief glimpse of the aftermath, not knowing there was a huge complex battle.

"Meanwhile that concludes our daily adventure!"

The Multi-Bear approaches the Doctor and Dipper. "Doctor! It has quite long since we meet!" all of the faces commented to Dipper's mysterious godfather.

"Multi-Bear! How All Are Been Doing? Still listening to BABBA?"

"Wait, Doctor-you also listen to it too?!"

"Dipper, all types music appeals within all of us. Want to go for another round?"

Soon enough the new friended duo agreed.

* * *

Lazy Susan was hitting pie trolley. "SPIN! SPIN!"

Mabel enters with Stan. "Lazy Susan. Listen: I know he's not much to look at, but you're always fixing stuff in the diner, and if you like fixing stuff, nothing can use more fixing than my Grunkle Stan! Also women live longer than men so your dating pool is smaller and you should really lower your standards."

"So, Lazy Susan, what do you say?"

Lazy Susan leaves at the backdoor.

"Uhhhh..."

Lazy Susan comes back with a piece of paper and a piece of pie. "Heeeeyyyy! Here's my number. Why don't you give me a call some time?"

Stan states. "Really?!"

"REALLY! HAHA. Also: here's some pie. On the house. For YOU!"

Mabel squeals happily, "EEEEEEEEEEEEE! We did it! When are you gonna call? You wanna call now? I don't have a phone. Let's buy a phone! We can put it on a credit card. Let's get a credit card."

"Mabel! Let a man enjoy his pie, huh?"

Dipper with his normal attire back on comes up to the restaurant with the Doctor who still brought out his electric guitar.

"DIPPER! It's me, Mabel! I'm looking at you through this glass! Right here! This is my voice! I'm talking to you from inside!"

Dipper nods and gives Mabel a "Calm down" sign. Both the Doctor and Dipper comes inside.

"Did you see me through the-?"

"Yep."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it. It was exciting and dangerous at the same time."

"Good." Stan joins in.

"It's just these half man half bull humanoids were hanging out with me..."

Stan rolls his eyes. "Here we go."

"But then they wanted me to do this really tough, horrible thing but it just wasn't right. So I said no."

Stan then states. "You were your own man and you stood up for yourself."

"Huh?"

"Well, you did what was right even when no one agreed with ya. Sounds pretty manly to me but, what do I know?"

Dipper smiles. The Doctor chuckles and shakes his head. "Same good o'l Stan."

"Wait a minute, do my eyes deceive me? You have a chest hair!" Mabel interrupts.

Dipper checks his chest and gasp. "You're right! I do! Ha ha, this is amazing! I really do! Take that, man tester! Take that, Pituitor!"

"Pituitor?"

"Eh, it is a long story."

Dipper beefs up. "This guy has chest hair!"

Mabel pulls it out and puts it in a journal. "Scrap-book ortunity!" Dipper pouts.

"Don't worry, kid, if you're anything like me, there's more where that came from."

Stan rips open his shirt.

"OH, GROSS!" Dipper shouts.

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Actually, that's indeed disturbing." The Doctor adds in.

* * *

Stan is sitting on the chair next to the phone. The phone rings.

"Oh, not again!"

"Message number: 36"

Lazy Susan over answering machine: "Hey, handsome! It's me, Lazy Susan, calling to say hi: Hi! My cats also wanted to say hi! Say hi, Donald!"

"Meow"

"Good, Sandy, you say hi!"

"Meow"

"Mr. Cat-face, now it's your turn to say-"

"MOOWW!"

"Mr. Cat-face!"

"MEEEEEOWW!"

"Well, anyway call me! Call me back! (hangs up)"

"How do I get out of this?!"

13-18 3-1-5-19-1-18-9-1-14 23-9-12-12 2-5 15-21-20 14-5-24-20 23-5-5-11 13-18 1-20-2-1-19-8 23-9-12-12 19-21-2-19-20-9-20-21-20-5 4-18 8-15-21-19-20-15-14 19-9-14-7-19 23-9-20-8 4-9-16-16-5-18 1-14-4 20-8-5 2-5-1-18 23-8-5-14 20-8-5-18-5 9-19 20-9-13-5


	7. Chapter 7

_lautaro94: Thanks! And also thanks for the reminder, I edited it quickly to preserve the story._

 _PSplinter09: Hearty thanks for the fav :)_

 _Guest: No worries; if you seen the last chapters, you might notice it. I can't believe I might have hidden it well in the past chapters :P_

 _Without further ado, enjoy! I do not own DW and GF. All credits belong to their creators. Cryptograms are A1 and Z26._

* * *

 ** _Double Dipper_**

The Doctor, Soos, and Wendy preparing for a certain party. Mabel and Dipper are sitting on a couch.

"Oh no, Mabel. I-I don't feel so good. I-BBBBLLLAAAA!" as Dipper sprays Silly Strings at Mabel playfully.

"Ohhh, Grunkle Stan, what did you feed us?! BBBBBLLLAAAA!" as Mabel sprays Silly Strings back at Dipper.

"BBBBLLLAAAA! BBBBLLLAAAA! BBBBLLLAAA!"

"Hahaha, barfing!"

Wendy Corduroy runs up. "Guys, guys, stop! Something terrible just happened!"

Dipper and Mabel stare at Wendy.

"...BBBBLLLAAAA!" Wendy playfully sprays Silly String at the twins. They all laugh hysterically.

Mabel throws confetti. "Comedy gold!"

Stan Pines takes Silly String cans and confetti. "Alright, alright! Party supplies are now off-limits."

"Mr. Pines, whose birthday is it again?"

Stan replies, "Nobody's. Thought this party might be a good way to get kids to spend money at the Shack." As he unrolls a "Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey" game.

"Nice!"

"Doc convinced me from taking a break from a certain work; the young people of this town want fun-I'll smother 'em with fun!"

Dipper pouring Mabel some Diet Pitt Peach Soda. "Maybe comments like that are why kids don't go to the Mystery Shack."

"Hey, hey! Hows about you make yourself useful and copy these flyers?" As he shows Dipper and Mabel a flyer.

"Oh boy, a trip to the copier store!"

"Calendars, mugs, t-shirts and more! They got it all at the copier store! That's not their slogan, I just really feel that way about the copier store."

"Save the trouble. You know the old copier in my office? I finally fixed the old girl up! Good as new!" Stan states.

The Doctor was hanging up certain lights. "Well, certainly this isn't what I had in mind...say, do you mean the printer machine? It's still there?"

The Doctor, Dipper, and Mabel are in Stan's office. They pull the sheet off the old, busted up copier machine. Several moths fly around it.

Mabel gasps, "Butterflies!"

"Indoor moths, my dear" The Doctor wistfully corrects.

Dipper lifts the lid up. "Does it even work?"

"Let's see..." The Doctor said, as he surveyed the machine. He quickly pulls his sonic and scanned it, then he opens a panel full of circuits and unwittingly pressed the sonic in there.

"Say...give it a try!"

Dipper presses a button, then rests his arm on the machine. It turns on, and creates a copy of his arm.

Mabel picks up the paper. "Success! (Notices the paper shaking and drops it) Whoa!"

The picture of Dipper's arm comes to life and begins to crawl near them.

Mabel and Dipper scream. "AH!"

"Stay back!" Dipper shouts.

The Doctor quickly dumps Mabel's cup of Mabel's Juice on the arm, disintegrating it. "Curious..." The Doctor mutters, as he looks at his screwdriver away from the twins.

"Oh my gosh! Mabel, I think this copier can copy human beings!"

"Do you realize what this means?" Mabel pauses. "BBBBLLLAAAA!" As she playfully sprays Silly String at Dipper.

* * *

Stan addresses Soos, Wendy, Mabel, and Dipper, who are all standing side-by-side.

"Alright party people... and Dipper. Let's talk business. Soos, because you'll work for free, and you begged, I'm lettin' you be DJ."

Soos replies, "You won't regret it, Mr. Pines. I got this book to teach me how to DJ R-R-Right!"

Stan groaned, "Not encouraging. Wendy, you and Mabel will work at the ticket stand."

"What? But Grunkle Stan, this party is my chance to make new friends!"

"I... I could work with Wendy." Dipper nervously adds in.

Stan rolls his eyes. "You realize that if you do, you gotta commit to stay in at the ticket stand with Wendy. No getting out of it, just the two of you, alone, all night."

Dipper watches Wendy spray Soos' belly with Silly String, smiles. "I promise..."

Dipper is later standing in front of a mirror in his room putting on a bow tie given by the Doctor.

"...You can borrow this for a while-used it once in one of my travels; kinda black, hope it doesn't mean bad luck! Then again, it make you feel like Mr Bond!" The Doctor once commented.

He turns to get the spray and sees Mabel there. "AH!...What?"

Mabel pretending to be Dipper, "Uh, uh, I could work the counter with you, Wendy! Let's kiss!"

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want, but I devised a plan to make sure my night with Wendy goes perfect."

"Plan? Oh, you're not making one of those overcomplicated listy things, are you?"

"Psh. Over complicated? Let me just... (unfolds a huge list) alright, fold that there, kay. Step 1: Getting to know each with playful banter. Banter is like talking but smarter."

"That sounds like a dumb idea for poopheads."

"Yeah, see? This isn't banter. This is what I want to avoid with Wendy. The final step is to ask her to dance."

* * *

 _Dipper imagines himself as a taller version of himself and Wendy dancing._

 _"Oh Dipper! I'm so happy you decided to work the ticket stand with me; you're so organized. Show me that checklist again."_

 _Dipper pulls out checklist from pocket._

 _"Oh!"_

* * *

"If I follow steps 1 through 11, nothing can get in my way!"

"Dipper, you're the one getting in your way. Why can't you just walk up and talk to her like a normal person?"

"Step 9, sister!" As he points to Step 9, which is "talk to her like a normal person".

Mabel sighs and rolls her eyes.

The party begins. Soos bumps up his arms in a party mood. Stan dance-walks over to Mabel.

"Yadda dee, yada doo, yada doo...Can your uncle throw a party or what?"

"The energy, it's electric! Uhh, lightning, (presses buttons on sound FX machine, making various noises) lightning, lightning, lightning..." Soos states.

Stan shouts, "And if anyone wants to leave, I'm charging an exit fee of 15 bucks!"

Certain teens are in the party.

Nate counting money with Lee. "We've only got 13!"

"We're trapped!"

Lee and Nate pound on window, until they spot the Doctor dancing with the others for a heck of it.

* * *

Outside, Wendy and Dipper are working at the ticket station.

"Step 1: Casual banter. SO HERE'S A CASUAL QUESTION! (coughs) What's your favorite type of snack food?"

Wendy replies, "Oh, man! I can't just pick one!"

"NO way! Mine too!"

"Wait, what?"

"Uhh... I mean... I mean... (Stuffs a bunch of popcorn in his mouth; to himself:) New topic! New topic!"

Mabel is inside, dancing. "Go, go! Yeah Doc! Work it, work it! (Sits down next to Grenda; opens a plastic water bottle and drinks some; she sees Grenda's lizard) Wow! You've got an animal on your body! I'm Mabel."

"Hi, I'm Grenda! (Gestures to Candy, in the chair next to her) This is Candy."

"Chiu!" As she waves to Mabel; there are forks taped on her fingers.

"Why do have forks taped to your fingers?"

Candy puts her hand into Grenda's bowl of popcorn; when she pulls it out each finger has some popcorn on it. "Improvement of human being."

Candy and Grenda watch Grenda's lizard eat some popcorn and laugh.

"I've found my people!" Mabel excitingly exclaims.

"Remember dudes, who ever, um, party hardies, what? Gets the party crown! (Holds up a crown) Most applause at the end of the night wins!" Soos playfully exclaims.

"Wow!"

A certain girl walks up to Soos with her friends. "Party crown? I'll take that, thank you very much!"

"Who's that?"

"The most popular girl in town, Pacifica Northwest."

"I always feel bad about myself around her."

Soos states, "I can't just give you the crown. It's sort of a competition thing."

Pacifica laughs and picks up microphone. "Honestly, who's gonna compete against me? Fork girl? Lizard lady?"

"Hold me, Candy!"

"Our kind isn't welcome here!"

Mabel walks angrily over to Soos; pops up from behind table; happily. "Hey, I'll compete!"

Candy and Grenda gasp.

Mabel introduces herself to Pacifica. "I'm Mabel."

"That sounds like a fat old lady's name."

"I'll take that as a compliment!"

"May the better partier win." As she menacingly walks away with her friends.

"Nice meeting you!...She's going down."

Wendy looks at party through window. "Whoa! Sounds like the party's getting nuts."

"Let the battle for the party crown begin! Mabel comes out strong! Watch out, Pacifica!"

"I gotta get in there!...Cover for me?"

"Umm... well I, um–"

"Thanks, man!" As Wendy goes inside and dances.

Dipper tells to the crowd of people waiting to get tickets. "I'll be back shortly! (To himself:) Sure Stan won't mind if I'm gone for a few minutes." As he turns to run inside.

Stan grabs Dipper by the back of his shirt. "Hey! What are you doing, kid? These suckers aren't gonna rip themselves off!"

"Yeah!"

"You promised, remember?"

"I did?"

Stan plays a tape recording of Dipper's promise.

Dipper's voice: "I promise."

Stan walks off step by step and suddenly goes back for checking. The Doctor hops out.

"Woo-hoo-hoo! Goodness that was fun, looks like Ms. Corduroy is killing it!" The Doctor chuckles fondly.

"If only I could be two places at once...say Doc, can you look after this? I'll be back for a second!"

* * *

Dipper goes into Stan's office, lies down on the copy machine and presses the copy button. "I wonder if this is a good idea."

Dipper is copied. The paper with the copy of him falls to the ground. It ripples, and Dipper''s clone suddenly comes to life.

"Whoa! ...I have a really big head."

"So, uh... (Chuckles) sorry, you first. Stop copying me!" Both laugh.

The clone tries to slap his leg but hits his elbow on the copy machine. "Ow, ow! Funny bone!"

Dipper writes the number 2 on the clone's head. "I will call you...Number 2!"

"Definitely not. You know a name I've always wanted?"

Dipper and Number 2 both state, "Tyrone?"

"Okay, Tyrone. Let's get down to business. I'm thinking you cover me at the ticket stand, while I ask Wendy to dance."

"I know the plan, buddy."

Dipper and Tyrone look over Dipper's plan.

Dipper backs away from Tyrone. "Hey, we're not gonna get jealous and turn on each other like the clones in the movies, are we?"

"Dipper, please. This is you you're talking about. Plus, hey! (Snaps his fingers) You can always just disintegrate with me with water."

Dipper and Tyrone tap their heads) Yeeah... (Tap each other's heads) Yeeeeah!"

* * *

The Doctor raises his eyebrows over Dipper's certain, present plans. He suddenly runs off somewhere.

Tyrone mans the ticket station while Dipper is inside. They give each other the thumbs up. Dipper then walks over to Wendy.

"Great news, Wendy! I got someone to cover the concessions for me!"

"That's awesome. You can hang out with me and Robbie. Robbie you remember Dipper from the convenience store adventure?"

Robbie replies, "Uh, no. Yo, Wendy, check out my new guitar." As he plays his guitar.

"Whoa, cool!"

Dipper gasps and then imagines Robbie and Wendy dancing.

 _"Robbie, you're a stupid, arrogant fraud; but kiss me anyway because you can play guitar. Oh wait, I forgot something. (Walks over and punches Dipper) LET'S GET MARRIED TONIGHT!"_

Tyrone calls Dipper, "Hey buddy it's me, you. I just had the same jealousy fantasy."

Dipper replies, "We got to get rid of Robbie if I ever want to dance with Wendy!"

"Hey, Dipper! We're gonna go sit on the couch! Meet us when you're done." Wendy interrupts Dipper's thoughts.

"Oh no! They're sitting on the couch! We gotta think of something quick! (sees Robbie's bike) I got an idea!"

Tyrone adds in, "I got the same one. But we're gonna need some help."

* * *

Dipper creates another clone which he is writing the number 3 on a third clone's hat. "And that's where you come in number three!"

"But what if Robbie catches me? I'll be all alone!" Number 3 (or now named Tracey) states

"Yeah, makes a good point."

Dipper thinks and has another idea, "Okay, one more. Good point. Four Dippers. This is a four Dipper plan."

The machine jams.

"Uh-oh, paper jam." As he pulls the paper out of the machine and screams as it comes to life.

"NYANYANYANYANYA-NAAAAA-NAAAAA. AAXUXAASSUAA-AAAA."

"C'mon, you're not gonna make me partner up with him, are you?"

"SSSHH! Don't be rude. Hey, buddy hey. It's okay."

"AAAA-KKKKKKKXXX-KKKKXXX-A."

"Okay. Just one more clone."

* * *

Pacifica is singing on a stage. The Doctor appears out of nowhere.

"Always means forever (closes eyes), ALWAAAAAYYYSS! (her high voice breaks a plastic cup; whispering and points) Forever."

Grenda sniffs, "I used to sing like that, before my voice changed."

Soos shouts, "Pacifica pulls ahead!"

"Try and top that! (Hands Mabel the microphone) Oh, and Grenda, by the way, you sound like a professional wrestler."

"I WANNA PUT HER IN A HEADLOCK AND MAKE HER FEEL PAIN!"

"It's not over 'til it's over, sisters! Watch this. (Mabel runs onstage) Soos! Give me the 80s-ist, crowd pleasing-ist, rock ballad-y-ist song you got!"

"Heh, Quill would been rocking here too" The Doctor states fondly.

Soos puts on Don't Start Unbelieving.

"Excellent...Don't start UN-BELIEVING!"

"Never don't not feel your feelings!" Everyone cheers at Mabel's enthusiasm.

"WATCH ME DO A FLIP! (Lands on her face) THAT WAS FOR YOU GUYS!"

Everyone cheers except Pacifica, who looks at the crowd, and Dipper whispers something in Soos' ear.

"Dudes, would the owner of a silver and red dirt bike please report outside. It is being stolen right now."

Robbie quickly snaps his head up. "Wait, WHAT?!"

Clones 3 (Tracey) and 4 (now named Quattro) ride Robbie's bike away from the shack and laugh.

Robbie chasing them. "Hey, come back here!"

"Oh, tough break. I wonder who those guys are who aren't me because I'm right here."

"Now we're gonna bring it down for a minute. Ladies, dudes, now's the time."

Wendy dances. "Oh snap, I love this song." As she sways her head in time to the music.

Mabel runs over to Dipper. "Hey goofus, now's your chance to ask Wen–(Dipper covers Mabel's mouth. They move away from Wendy) Now's your chance to ask Wendy to dance! C'mon! Go!"

"Ok, ok. (Struggles to go over) I-uh, (Runs away the opposite direction) Uh, I'll be right back!"

"Oh dear, the Lorax isn't going to be happy..." The Doctor muses. ( _A/N: The common saying of "Wasting paper is wasting trees")_

* * *

Tyrone and Dipper pacing around each other in the attic

"Oh, I agree. You can't just go and DANCE with her."

"The dance floor is a minefield, a MINEFIELD, Tyrone!"

"What if there's a glitch in the sound system?"

"Stan might get in the way."

"Robbie might come back."

"There's too many variables. We need help."

Soon enough, Dipper makes 6 more clones of himself.

"Alright, Dippers! Gather round! Now's the time! You all clear on want to do?"

The clones nod monotonously and leave the attic. Number 10 walks up the Soos. "Hey, Soos, look! A glowing dot!"

"Oh man, I'm so glad I turned my head. That dot does not disappoint."

While Soos is distracted, number 10 puts in a disc labeled "Wendy Mix." The rest of the clones do their jobs as well. Number 8, who is sitting above the party, puts a dollar on a fishing rod and dangles it in front of Stan.

"Right, like I'm gonna fall for that. (pretends not to notice, then tries to grab the money) GIVE ME THAT... (Chases it away) MONEY, MONEY!"

While Stan is distracted, Number 6 rings a bell.

"There's your cue. It's the perfect moment to ask Wendy to dance. Good luck, me!"

"I don't need luck. I have a plan. (Leaves attic and sees Wendy in the hallway) AH!"

"Oh hey, man. What's up?"

"W-What are you doing here? I mean, wouldn't you rather be out on the dance floor, (looks at watch) uh, in like exactly 42 seconds?"

"I'm just waiting for the bathroom."

"Um, uh, okay. (Pulls out his list, to himself) Small talk, small talk, small talk!"

"So hey, let's say everyone at this party gets stuck on a desert island. Who do you think the leader would be?"

"I, uh..."

"I think I'd go with our awesome teacher, Dr Houston" As she points at the Doctor, who was quickly appearing and reappearing out of nowhere.

"Ha, ha, ha. (Puts list away) I'd probably go for him too, uh...because tall people can reach coconuts?" The Doctor suddenly does the moonwalk with Mabel.

"Speaking of tall, wanna see something? (Pulls out a picture with her thumb over one of her brothers) Those are my brothers, and I'm, (Lifting her thumb) boooop."

"Ha, you were a freak!" Dipper quickly covers his mouth.

"Yep."

"You know, kids used to make fun of my birthmark before I started hiding it all the time."

"Birthmark?"

"Uh, no! It's nothing! I-I was-I wa–why did I say that?"

"No way, dude! Now you have to show me! Show me, show me!"

Dipper lifts his bangs up to show his forehead, revealing a Big Dipper-like birthmark.

"The Big Dipper! That's how you got your nickname! I thought your parents just hated you or something. Hey, I guess we're both freaks."

They clink cups and laugh as Pacifica exits the bathroom. "Wait here?" As she goes into the bathroom.

"Of course."

Tyrone coming in with the rest of the clones behind him. "Hey! What are you doing up here? Number 10 has been distracting Soos for 15 minutes; he's gonna get tired of that dot eventually!"

Soos however shouts, "Never!"

"You won't believe it guys! I bumped into Wendy accidentally and things are actually going great!"

"That's nice, but not the plan. Do we have to remind you?"

Clones read some steps from the list asynchronously.

"Oh man, you guys sound crazy. Look, maybe we don't need the plan anymore, you know? Maybe I could just go talk to her like a normal person."

Clones suddenly gasp.

Number 7 shouts, "You bite your tongue!"

Number 5 (who was then named Jeremy) adds in,"If you're not gonna stick to the plan, maybe you shouldn't be the Dipper to dance with Wendy."

"Yes...if you think about it... Five...Number Five's got a point."

"Guys, c'mon. We said we weren't gonna turn on each other."

"I think we all knew we were lying."

All of them began to surround him.

The clones grab Dipper and pull him away.

"No, no, hey, hey! AAAAAH!"

They threw Dipper in a closet.

Dipper shrieks, "No, wait!"

They lock the door.

Dipper tires to trick Tyrone. "Ahh! I can't breath in here!"

"Yes you can! Plus there's snacks and a cursed coloring book in there for you!"

Dipper sigh, and munches on a cracker.

* * *

"Okay, now that Original Dipper or "Dipper Classic" is no longer fit for it, I nominate myself to dance with Wendy instead. I've been around the longest, so it should be me. Right? I mean logically. Logically, guys."

Number 10 agrees, "Fair point, fair point. Counterpoint, maybe I should get to dance with Wendy because I've been around her the least."

Jeremy states, "That makes, like, zero sense."

Number 10 pushes Jeremy. "YOU MAKE ZERO SENSE!"

Jeremy shoves number 10. "Watch it!"

Number 6 shoves Jeremy. "Don't shove people!"

Paper Jam Dipper shouts, "NANANANANA-AAAAAAA!"

"Hey, you want some cheese and crackers, buddy?"

"KKSSKSKSS."

Tyrone tries to give Paper Jam Dipper a cracker but realizes he has no mouth. "Yikes. Hey, guys, what would you do if you were trapped in a closet?"

"Be saved, and break out."

All look at closet to see that it's open.

Tyrone facepalms.

* * *

The Doctor apparently rescued Dipper on the way from the closet via screwdriver.

With the Doctor, Dipper runs down stairs and to balcony. "WEND-!"

Jeremy covers his mouth and drags him back to the other clones.

"Dipper!" The Doctor shouts.

Clones 6 through 10 grab the Doctor by the legs and tip him over easily, thus dragging him as well.

"OOF!...ARRGGGHH! _Would You Like A Jelly Baby-_ What the...My Headache is Coming Up AGAIN!"

"C'mon, man. Give it up. You and your friend here are overpowered."

"Hold on guys, think about it. We're exact equals mentally and physically. If we start fighting, it'll just go on for infinity." Dipper explains.

As the clones agree, Dipper suddenly punches Tyrone. The Doctor and the clones stare at them and there is an awkward pause.

Number 9 shouts, "CLONE FIGHT!"

The clones start fighting each other. "BOYS! BOYS! HOLD ON-Reverse the Polarity of the Neutron Flow! Wait-wha?...who was that?"

Jeremy slaps Dipper. "Quit hitting myself, quit hitting myself!" However was tackled by Number 8.

Number 6 and 7 grab the Doctor again by his legs-and he fell face forward. "OUCH! Hello I am the Doctor! Fantastic! Allons-Y!...NO LET IT GO WE'VE MOVED ON!"

But then Jeremy with 8 hold him back as 10 slaps him in the stomach.

"Guys guys, c'mon it's me!"

As the clones fight each other, The Doctor quickly gets on his feet, and pulls the fighting clones apart from each other and found Dipper, who is crawling through the crowd and nearly gets away. They notice Dipper with the Doctor and the fight stops.

"Hey! Classic Dipper's getting away!

"No friends, it's me, Number 7."

The clones stare at the real Number 7.

Number 7 shakes his head and panicking. "That's not me guys, that's not me!"

The fake #7 mark on Dipper's hat peels off. The Doctor pinches the bridge of his nose. "One Day...we'll get back...one day" he groaned suddenly.

"Get them!"

The clones march toward Dipper cornering him & Dipper backs away from them.

"Stay back, stay back!" Dipper shouts.

"...the mission...YES THE MISSION!" The Doctor then somewhat quickly grabs up a party popper.

"Doc? What are you-"

"Dip, if that is your name...I think...tell your friend 'The Doctor'...or me, that I have done well."

He aims and shoots, which turns on the sprinkler, causing all the clones to melt.

Clones Jeremy and 6 through 10 begin shrink. "Boo! C'mon! Lame! This stinks! Boo!"

"NANANANANANA-KSCKSKSSOSKS: _It's better this way for Paper Jam Dipper."_

The supposed Doctor winks, and begin to melt as well-revealing that he was also a paper copied clone, made by the Doctor as a back-up plan. His remaining arm gives an "OK" sign while being crumbled to nothingness.

"Huh, how 'bout that..." Dipper mutters.

Notices Tyrone standing behind him.

"You!"

"Uh-oh."

* * *

Meanwhile, Mabel is doing the worm. The Doctor dances alongside her with everyone else. Certain teens such as Lee and Nate that have him as their teacher, record the awesome dance moves with their phones, mainly on Mabel, who is using amazing dance tricks taught by the Doctor.

"One more song, dudes, and then it's time for the bestowing of the party crown. It's gonna be the– (Soos plays an explosion sound with the keyboard) Nailed it."

"Pacifica, I just wanna say that whoever wins, it's been a super fun party."

"Tsk. Awwww, it thinks it's gonna win. Hey, did you hear that? (Mabel cups her hand next to her ear) People clapping for the weird girls? Yeah, me neither."

Dipper and Tyrone are fighting.

"Say it! Say I can dance with Wendy!"

"Never!"

Dipper and Tyrone hear Wendy laughing and stop fighting. "Wendy?"

Wendy listening to something Robbie is saying and laughing. "Robbie! (Hits him) Shut up!" And laughs.

Dipper and Tyrone both sigh. "We blew it man."

"I don't know, you wanna go grab a couple sodas or something?"

* * *

"Let the party crown voting commence!"

"Good luck, Mabel" Pacifica sarcastically said.

"Applaud to vote for Mabel."

The crowd applauds loudly.

"Let's check the applause meter. Oh, oh, very good. And the next contestant: Pacifica."

The crowd applauds quietly, but Pacifica glares at them angrily. More people reluctantly start to clap for her.

"Uh-oh, a tie! This has like, never happened before."

Pacifica looks around and sees Old Man McGucket sleeping on a bench. She runs to him and gives him a dollar.

Old Man McGucket clapping. "Ha! Haha! Hahahahaha!" The Doctor shrugs his shoulders.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. The winner of the contest, is Pacifica Northwest." Soos reluctantly gives Pacifica the crown.

"Thank you, Jorge. Thank you everyone! Everyone comes to the after-party at my parents' boat! Woo-hoo!"

Crowd carrying her off. "Pacifica! Pacifica! Pacifica!"

Mabel states to her new-founded friends, "Sorry I let you guys down. I understand if you wanna leave."

"But then, we will miss the sleepover."

"The what?"

"We want to call our moms and see if we can sleep over here with you. You're like, a total rock star!"

Candy pulls a magazine out of her bag. "I have magazine boys."

"Really? You GUUYS!"

"Maybe we don't have as many friends as Pacifica, but we have each other, and that is pretty good I think."

"Besides..." The Doctor approaches the girl's trio. "Check out the certain updates...Soos?"

"Oh-Dudes! The videos from the party with Mabel dancing has hit altogether around one million views with billion subscribers!"

The Doctor winks at Mabel's surprised expression.

"Soos! Play another song! This thing's going all night!" Mabel suddenly exclaims.

"Way ahead of you, hambone."

"This is it! This is it!"

"Dance! Dance! Dance!"

* * *

Dipper passes Tyrone a can of soda.

"Some night, huh?"

A shooting star shaped like a blue cubic prism flies across the starry night. Dipper and Tyrone open the cans.

"You think we even have a chance with Wendy? I mean she's 15, we're 12."

"I don't know man, I hope so, but we're making zero progress the way we're doin' it. The only good conversation you had with her is when you didn't do anything in that list-stuff."

"I know. Mabel was right, I do get in my own way."

"Literally!"

Tyrone makes an explosion sound. "Wow!"

Dipper and Tyrone touch cans and drink the soda.

Tyrone stomach melts. "Oh boy, don't look now."

"Tyrone!"

"It's okay dude, I had a good run. Remember what we talked about."

"Uh-uh, of course."

"Hey, and quit being such a wimp around Wendy okay? For my sake... (Melts completely) BLBLBLBLBLBL!"

"Tyrone! You were the only one who understood."

Dipper sighs and pours soda on where Tyrone melted and drinks what's left. He goes to the front door and looks in the window.

Stan counting money and reading _Gold Chains For Old Men_ magazine after having a successful party. "Hahaha!"

Soos is playing music and the girls are dancing. Wendy is by the side nodding her head to the beat. Dipper prepares to go in, then stops and rips up the list and goes inside the shack.

Mabel with The Doctor found him. "Dipper! Where have you been? Meet my girlfriends!"

"Well-that was crazier than a hangover! Say, how did the confrontations go?"

Soon enough, after overseeing Mabel with her new friends, and that Wendy and Dipper are having a great time, The Doctor reclaims his sonic where his paper clone melted; Dipper explains the clone's bravery and he commends it.

Meanwhile, Soos presses the keyboard buttons one by one. Before the last one, it was a sound of something whooshing before a thunk. The last one is the thunder.

"Found it."

16-1-16-5-18 10-1-13 4-9-16-16-5-18 19-1-25-19 1-21-21-7-8-23-24-17-8-7-1-4-19-1-4-21-8! 20-8-5 4-15-3 13-15-22-5-19 20-8-5 3-15-16-9-5-18 20-15 20-8-5 2-12-21-5 2-15-24. 4-9-16 3-12-15-14-5 20-8-18-5-5 1-14-4 6-15-21-18 23-15-21-12-4 12-1-20-5-18 2-5-3-15-13-5 6-21-20-21-18-5 18-5-19-9-4-5-14-20-19 15-6 20-8-5 2-12-21-5 2-15-24 23-9-20-8 4-1-12-5-11 3-5-14-20-18-15, 11 14-9-14-5, 8-1-14-4-12-5-19, 1-14-4 1 6-1-13-9-12-9-1-18 1-14-4-18-15-9-4.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Irrational**_ _ **Treasure**_

The twins are eating Corncornos inside Stan's car. Stan is honking while Mabel attaches nachos from her chip bag to her ears. The Doctor is looking through his unique question marked bag.

"Haha! Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious!"

Stan Pines replies, "That's debatable. Aw, come on, what's with all this traffic? And why is it all...covered wagons? Oh no! No! No! (Pushes gas pedal) Not today! Not today!"

A few women gasp in the presence of him nearly running them over. He backs up, and begins to drive the car backwards.

Dipper Pines asks,"Grunkle Stan, what's going on?"

"We gotta get outta here. Before it's too late! (Sees that his car his trapped between a group of covered wagons) They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! Nooooooooo!"

"Hm? Something happened?" The Doctor looks up from his search in his mysterious bag.

Mabel looks outside her window and sees a cow. "I've gotta good feeling about today."

* * *

The twins, Stan, and the Doctor get out of the car and walk around an old fashioned-looking Main Street.

"Man. Look at the town." Dipper holds a post card up for a second. When he lowers it, the town is a sepia shade, but it is just due to a pane of dirty glass.

"Dirty glass. We got dirty glass! Dirty glass."

"Ah, boy. It's Pioneer Day. Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded."

Toby Determined shouts, "Welcome to 1863!"

"I will break you, little man!"

"Ahh!" As he runs away and crashes into a barrel.

A view of people are doing various activities, panning to candle dipping.

"Wow! Look! Candle dipping!"

People are doing gold panning. Old Man McGucket, who is also gold panning. "Gold!"

"Whoa, gold panning!"

"I now pronounce you man and wife." A priest states.

A woodpecker pecks her supposed husband's hand.

"I do!"

"What chu talking 'bout?"

"Oh yeah. I remember this. (Dipper takes out Journal 3) In Gravity Falls it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers."

Woodpecker guy replies, "Oh, it's still legal. (Puts a hand on his shoulder, where the woodpecker is perched) Very legal."

"Come one and all for the opening ceremonies!"

"Grunkle Stan, you coming?"

"No, thank you! Just remember if you come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me."

"There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!"

"Well hornswabber my haversack!"

Dipper and Mabel both spit on ground and run off, laughing.

Stan shouts, "Dead to me!"

"Oh, come off it Stan, besides...something exciting is about to come off..." The Doctor says wistfully.

A crowd assembles around a large stage.

"Here-ye, here-ye! Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence."

Deputy Durland ringing bell. "Woo! I got a bell!"

A robber steals an old woman's purse.

"Oh, no! Police, my purse!"

Fortunately, the Doctor nonchalantly sticks his foot out, causing the thief to trip. Thus the purse was recovered by the owner.

Durland rings bell. "Ring ring! Ring ring! Woo!"

Blubs chuckles, "He sure loves his bell."

Soon, Pacifica Northwest comes on stage and taps a microphone. "Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest. I'm also very rich."

The crowd applauds.

"Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you come on up and introduce yourself."

Mabel gasps, "Audience participation!"

"I don't know, Mabel. Isn't that girl kinda like your arch-enemy?"

"That's water under the bridge." As she laughs and runs onstage.

"Our first newcomer is... Mabel..."

"Yeah! Let's get this Pioneer Day started! Right guys? USA! USA!"

"USA! USA! USA, USA!"

"I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you look and act ridiculous. (Looking at Mabel's sweater) I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly?" Pacifica deadpans.

"Hey, I can be serious!"

"You do have nachos hanging from your ears, hon."

Mabel touches her nacho earrings and blushes.

"Haha, wow, I'm embarrassed for you. Give her a hand everybody!"

Crowd applauds and Dipper looks worried.

Mabel sadly walks off of the stage.

"Now who wants to hear more about me?"

Dipper makes his way toward Mabel. "Excuse me..."

Pacifica is taking a picture with her family.

"Everyone say Northwest!"

"Northwest!"

Pacifica laughs and tilts head. "We're perfect..."

She however notices a familiar person in the background that has a black and red coat with a hat and a bag...

* * *

"Hey, you okay?"

"I need some old-timey butterscotch."

Meanwhile Stan is in his car, which is stuck in the mud. Steve walks up to him.

"Hey there, uh, donkey boy! Give me a hand with my car, huh?"

"Here in 1863, I have never heard-tell of a "car." Pray-tell, what is this magic wheel box?"

"Ah, c'mon, Steve, you're a mechanic for Pete's sake! Cut me some slack."

"Slack?" I am unfamiliar with this bold, new expression."

"I can't take this anymore! (Grabs Steve by the collar) I'm getting dumber every second I'm here!"

Blubs running up alongside Durland. "Are we gonna have to intervene here?"

"Oh, look. The "Constable." What are you gonna do? Throw me in "ye stocks?"

Ironically, Stan was put in the stocks.

"Aw, c'mon! (Gideon, wearing old fashioned, nobleman attire, walks by, humming) Hey, nice outfit, Gideon. You actually look less girly than usual."

"Why, Stanford. I'm just a humble tomato farmer, selling his wares. Whoops, I dropped one. (Throws a tomato at Stan's right eye) Whoops, I dropped another one!"

Then throws a tomato at Stan's left eye.

"Ugh!"

Tomatoes still covering his eyes, Stan looks up at sky and screams.

"PIONEER DAY!"

* * *

The twins sitting near a large statue of Nathaniel Northwest. The Doctor made a funny face, and a mock stance of it before joining Dipper to counsel Mabel.

"Dipper, Doc can I ask you guys something? Do you think I'm silly?"

"Uh, nnnoooo?"

"I knew it! The nacho earrings, the sweater. I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big joke."

Mabel pitifully throws off her nacho earrings, takes off her sweater, and ties her sweater around her waist.

"C'mon, Mabel, you love that sweater!"

"I did before Pacifica ruined it for me. She ruins everything!"

"On the side note, that is another story to explore. But then again..." The Doctor looked fondly up in the sky, then to Mabel who looks at him for guidance.  
"No need for rivalries or put-downs...sometimes-I say this: _There's no point being grown-up if you can't be childish sometimes._ " as he winks, Mabel smiles a bit more comforted by his advice.

Dipper stands up, turns around, and glares at the statue. "

"Pacifica! Why does she think that being related to the town founder means she can treat everyone like garbage. Someone needs to take her down a peg. Wait a minute! I feel like I read something about Pacifica's great-great grandfather before. (Opens Journal 3) Of course! Oh, this is perfect. (In a deep voice) In my investigations...Should- should I do the voice?"

"Nuh uh."

The Doctor chuckles, "You almost hint his likeness..."

"I guess I'll just read... normal. (Reading from journal) In my investigations I recently made a discovery. Nathaniel Northwest may not be the true founder of Gravity Falls! I believe this secret is emburied somewhere on the enclosed document. If only I could crack the code. (Opens the document, revealing a complex series of letters, symbols and words) Oh, man! If this cover-up is true, it means Pacifica's whole family is a fraud. This could be a major conspiracy!"

"Really?"

"I got to investigate this!"

"Wait! I'm coming with you. Conspiracies are serious, right?"

"Oh yeah, definitely."

"Well, if I help you crack this code, then nobody could call me silly again!" The Doctor's face seemed solemn.

"Yeah! Mystery twins?"

"I thought you hated that."

"I'm starting to accept it."

Dipper and Mabel fist bump, and look at their godfather. He recalls a certain memory, and smiles.

"Well then, let's get to it!"

The trio run off, with the Doctor leading the twins if they are running for or from something.

Blubs, however, was behind the statue, and calls into a walkie-talkie. "This is Sheriff Blubs. We've got a Code Sepia!"

Dispatcher spits out coffee. "What?! Really?! And what are you doing about it?"

"I'm following them right now."

"Find them and stop them. Mr W. says that there's no room for error!"

"I understand. Blubs out. Deputy Durland, maintaining this cover-up is the mission we've been training for our entire careers. Are you ready?"

Durland ringing bell. "Woo!"

"Hehe, if being delightful was crime, you'd be breaking the law."

"Let's go get 'em!"

* * *

The trio are inside the Gravity Falls Library.

McGucket was amusing a certain audience. "Back in the olden days, pioneers drew subsistence from telling stories 'round the fire. So let's eat some books, children! Go ahead, eat the books!"

"I hope he is still doing fine..."

"Alright, Mabel, if we can prove Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it will finally put Pacifica in her place."

"And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly. I'm serious. Seeeeriousss..." As she laps up candy from the table into her mouth with her tongue.

Dipper places some slides into a projector. "We just need to crack this code. Let me see... it's not Egyptian, it's not numerology, it's not, wait-of course! The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame. Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message!"

"It's so obvious!"

"Alright, let's just light this sucker up and- Mabel!"

Mabel then is wearing a hat she made out of the document. "Mwop! I just made a hat. Ugh, I just did something silly again."

"Actually, why not take a little more closer to see it..." The Doctor says with a grin to Dipper and Mabel.

"Wait, Mabel. You folded it into a map! And I was gonna burn it..."

* * *

"We're on the lookout for two kids and a guy who might be reading."

"We're hunting them down for secret reasons! (Rings bell) WOO!"

The Doctor notices this and hides Dipper and Mabel under the table.

Durland knocks row of books off a shelf. "DERP!"

"Maybe we should take this elsewhere..."

"This map should lead us to...The Gravity Falls Museum of History."

Soon enough, the trio all are in front of the museum.

"You realize what this means, Mabel. (Looks up and squints.) We're gonna have to break. In."

"Not exactly, my dear boy!...excuse me, how much for a very old person and two children?

* * *

"...And here are your free Pioneer Day passes, and your balloons: red, blue, and pink."

"We're in."

"What are we gonna do next, steal Thomas Jefferson's rib cage?"

"Heh, heh. Not exactly, besides of being helped on drafting the declaration-he is made up of two extraordinary kids like you two..."

"Ewww Mabel, no. According to the map, the next clue about the real town founder should be right... here!"

A triangular exhibition piece is mounted on the wall.

"We've gotta figure this one out quick, I have a feeling those cops weren't at the library to check out books..."

"I don't think the one with the bell can read..."

"So what is it anyway?"

The twins analyze the exhibit.

"Hmmmm..."

Mabel gets bored and walks over to a bench to sit down with the Doctor who has his head upside-down with a curious smile.

Mabel too turning upside-down on the bench. "Watcha looking at, Doc? Hey painting, be less stupid! (Gasps) It worked!"

"Huh? Wait! It's not abstract, it's upside-down!"

"I think I've seen that statue at the cemetery..."

"Let's go! Quick!"

Both stand up and get dizzy, holding their heads. "Ow."

"Head rush!"

"Eh, you might get used to it."

* * *

"I'm sorry, but we're all out of pink balloons."

Durland got disappointed. "Why did we even come?"

Dispatcher over walkie-talkie. "Officer Blubs."

"Blubs here."

"Have the targets been apprehended?"

"Negative, but we're close. I promise, the guy and those kids'll never get past us."

Dipper and Mabel run past them. The Doctor was crawling beneath them and took off. "Excuse me, gents!"

"Hey! Wait!"

Blubs and Durland chase the kids and The Doctor out of the museum, but both get stuck in the door.

"Dang it!"

* * *

"For the last time, we are not going south for the winter! Our home is here!"

The supposed married woodpecker pecks the table.

"You always say that!"

Stan is still struggling to get out of the stocks, trying to unlock the lock with a hairpin in his mouth. "C'mon! C'mon, ugh!" But drops pin.

Pacifica picks up the pin. "Well, if it isn't Mabel's uncle, Mr. Pines. Looking for this?"

"Yeah, yeah. What d' ya want, money?"

"I want you to say that the Northwest family is the best family in Gravity Falls."

"Oh sure, you want that in writing?"

Pacifica gives Stan a pen and let him writes something on a note with his mouth.

"There you go. (The note says "YOU STINK!") Ha! I did that with my mouth!"

Pacifica whistles, catching the attention of people with tomatoes, and points to Stan.

"Aw, come on!"

* * *

The Doctor, Dipper, and Mabel are in the cemetery. Dipper is looking at the somewhat-eerie angelical statue that is pointing off in the distance.

"Ah... The statue must be pointing to the next clue."

Dipper looks in direction statue is pointing which was looking at another similar statue but then turns back when Mabel speaks up.

Mabel uses the finger of the statue sticking in her nose. "Oh, gross! She's picking my nose! Ha ha!"

The tip of the statue's finger bends upward, opening a secret door in the grave. "Ach."

The Doctor stares at the statue. "Very lucky of us...touche." He looks at the direction it was pointing; another similar angel-like statue.

"Mabel, look!"

"Ha! Who's silly now, Pacifica? Bam! (Tries to jump down from statue but her nose is still there so the finger tugs on her nose) Ahh! Ow. Ow. Ow."

The Doctor quickly pulls Mabel off of the strange-looking statue.

"Boogers...and time energy..."

"Anyways, now we're getting into real conspiracy mode! I feel serious. Mmm." which Mabel ate some candy.

"Okay, look out for booby traps."

"Ha! Booby traps."

But then Mabel steps on a tile that triggers a bunch of darts to fly out of the wall towards her, the Doctor, and Dipper.

"Tranquilizer darts!"

The Doctor quickly grabs Dipper's and Mabel's hand and maneuvers through the darts.

"Aah!"

They dodge the darts and fall down a path that leads them to a small set-up filled with confidential, historical information.

"OOF!" The Doctor exclaims. "My...what do we have here?"

"It's a treasure trove of historic-y, secret-y things!" Both twins exclaims.

Mabel picks up a top-secret document: The first page is about the secret of Abraham Lincoln's hat, and shows a picture of Lincoln in his top hat in one picture, and him without his top hat, with a hand sticking out of the top of his head, in the other.

"Heh, Heh. Good o'l Abe...knowing him-due to the warnings, he installed that mechanism, it didn't work that out though on that fateful day..." The Doctor mutters and sighing.

Mabel looks at the next page, where there is a picture of Benjamin Franklin wearing earrings, and the sub-caption says that he was secretly a woman. "Oh, man! Ben Franklin secretly was a woman!" _(A/N: recalling that moment Grunkle Stan was counterfeiting money with the twins)_

 _"_ Then again, I can still recall the rope burns-and to helping to discover static electricity" The Doctor remembers silently.

Certain documents were also read: _Thomas Jefferson was actually just two kids in an overcoat standing on each other's shoulders. The current and forever President of the United States is actually Santa Claus. Under the reign of Mr. Claus; the leader of the Guardians, America is not a democracy, but a 'jollyocracy'. The statues in Mount Rushmore are actually gigantic presidential-faced robots that will be called into action when America needs them most, to stop Time Baby on year 3012? Indeed, the enormous, evil, time-devouring baby from another dimension is frozen in an Antarctic glacier. Writing jokes for cartoons is more important than sleep. Reciting the pledge of allegiance backwards will give one secret wizard powers._

Dipper finds and picks up a document titled "Northwest Cover-up".

"Hey, jackpot! Now we'll find out who the real town founder was. (Reading from document) Let it be here recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was, in fact, a fraud...as well as a waste-shoveling village idiot"? Oh, bad news for Pacifica. Wait'll the papers hear about this!"

"Once people see that I uncovered a historical conspiracy, they can never call me silly!" Mabel exclaims.

"The true founder of Gravity Falls was...Sir Lord, Quentin Trembley, III, Esquire."

"Who's Quentin Trembley?"

The Doctor opens his mouth to speak but-

"That's none of your business!"

"Whoo! We gotcha! Whoo! Whoo! Hmm whoo-hoo." Durland passes out. Several tranquilizer darts are sticking out of his back and head.

"He got hit with quite a few of those darts." Blubs replied. "But Quentin Trembley's a matter of national security."

"Yeah! Ye-ah (Puts hands on knees) woo. I think I might be colorblind now."

"What do you mean, "national security?"

"And who is Quentin Trembley, anyway?"

"See for yourself."

Blubs removes hat and takes out a reel of film. He puts it into a projector, and the projection screen shows a countdown in black and white.

"Aww, it's black and white?!"

"Meh, it was for me when I was very, very, very young." The Doctor replies.

Reel starts, revealing a government official in an office.

" _If you're watching this, then you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete-What? No? Ho! Well, that's a relief! Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quentin Trembley: The eighth-and-a-half president of the United States."_

"President?" Both twins exclaims.

Mabel adds in. "Eighth-and-a-half?"

"Well, certain events and adventures weren't his fault..." The Doctor began.

 _"After winning the 1837 election in a landslide, (A picture of Quentin Trembley standing next to the other presidential candidates is shown. A landslide kills the other candidates) Quentin Trembley quickly gained a reputation as America's silliest president."_

 _"He waged war on pancakes."_

"That wasn't true!" The Doctor stated quickly.

 _"Appointed six babies to the supreme court."_

 _"_ Well, that was true-he can speak baby language greatly!"

 _"Issued the de-pants-ipation proclamation."_

 _"_ And there; but it was because those-"

 _"His state of the union speech was even worse; Trembley: The only thing we have to fear is gigantic, man-eating spiders!"_

 _"_ Yep, big o'l monstrous arachnids."

"Doctor, shhh!"

 _"He was kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley he named Gravity Falls, after plummeting into it at high speed. Trembley's shameful term was erased from history and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as President and local nobody Nathaniel Northwest as founder of Gravity Falls. The whereabouts of president Trembley's body are unknown."_

"Until now." Blubs ended.

Points to Quentin Trembley, who is encased in an amber-colored rectangle.

"Whoa! Is that, like, amber or something?"

"The fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle. Smooth move, Mr. President! Finding Trembley's body was our special mission. And now, thanks to you, it's complete."

"Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girl's (Durland holds up one of Mabel's candy wrappers) trail of candy wrappers?"

"Ugh, (Mabel face-palms) silly!"

"Ah, don't punch yourself too hard..." The Doctor reassures.

"Now that you know the truth, well, we can't let you go around talkin' about it."

"Does that mean-?"

"Are you going to kill us?!"

"What?" The Doctor chimed in.

Durland quickly states, "OH NO!"

Blubs adds in, "No, no. Calm down now, buddy, calm down. We're just gonna escort you guys and all this stuff back to Washington. You ain't comin' back, by the way."

"WHAT?!" The Doctor stated.

* * *

 _Soon, in a top-secret train._

Durland unfolds fold-out bed. "Woo-hoo! We got fold-out beds!"

Blubs opens suitcase and pulls out book. "Good thing I brought my book of spooky ghost stories!"

Durland takes out colored rope. "I brought rope for friendship bracelets!"

The Doctor, Dipper, and Mabel are trapped in a crate with Quentin Trembley's body.

"Anyone there?! Help help help!"

"Hey! Let us out!"

"Eh, don't worry-when we get there, I might use the fastest transportation, and get certain friends to clean and clear all this up."

"Oh. I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers. This is all my fault. Pacifica had me pegged all along. I'm just a silly failure, like that embarrassing president what's-his-name." As Mabel eats piece of peanut brittle, breaking the block and freeing Trembley.

Dipper and Mabel shouts, "Aahh!"

"It is I, Quentin Trembley!" As rips off his pants.

"Welcome to the future, Mr President!...and no worries; no spiders here" The Doctor jovially exclaims.

"You're alive! But how?"

"Peanut brittle really does have life-sustaining properties! You're not silly, you're brilliant!" Mabel happily stated.

"And so are you, dear girl, for following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb!"

"He's right! Making maps into hats, hanging upside-down; Your silliness solved the code that serious cops couldn't crack in a hundred years!"

"Oh, stop it."

"Heh, Heh-every forget who you are, Mabel!" The Doctor adds in.

"By Jefferson! We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box!."

"It's a crate, Mr. President."

Trembley pulls out key. "Good thing I have the President's Key, which can open any lock in America!" As he repeatedly slams it at the side of the crate.

"I... don't think that's gonna work."

"Wood! My age-old enemy."

"Tell me about it..." The Doctor stated fondly as he pulled out his sonic.

"In order to get out of here, this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived."

"I think I know who can help you." Dipper smiles at Mabel.

"Hmm. How 'bout... that hole?" Mabel points to tiny hole near the corner of the crate.

"We will leap through it!"

Trembley and Mabel both jump at the hole.

"Almost. Almost there Good! Keep pushing."

"I'm not sure this is working."

"Trust... the silliness!"

"Fiddlesticks! Keep going!"

A woodpecker flies in and pecks at the crate, making a tapping noise.

"Is that my third wife? Sandy?"

The box falls apart.

"Well, we didn't fit through the hole. Let's rebuild the box and try again!"

"Another time, Dr Dolittle! Meanwhile-" The Doctor said.

Dipper finishes, "We gotta get out of here!"

"Also good!"

Dipper opens a door in the train and Durland, who is getting ice, sees the three of them and drops the bucket of ice.

"Blubs!"

The Doctor, Dipper, Mabel, and Trembley run away. They climb up a ladder to get to the emergency escape. Trembley pulls out his key and starts pressing it against the door even though there's no lock.

Dipper taking the key from Trembley. "Give me that!" Turns the handle and they all run out onto the roof of the train, followed by Blubs and Durland.

"There (Huffs) is (Huffs) no (Huffs) escape! I gotta take a knee."

"Are you okay? Can I get you anything?"

"Edwin, darlin', you are a diamond in the rough."

Dipper suddenly argues. "Sheriff Blubs, do you really want to lock us all up in a government facility somewhere?"

"I've got no choice! Our orders come from the very top!"

"Hm, that would explain everything..." The Doctor wonders.

"Wait! Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation?"

"No, sir! I ate a salamander and jumped out the window."

"Then... technically you're still legally the President of the United States, right? You've gotta answer to this guy now!"

"Huh?"

"As president of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened. And-and go on a delightful vacation."

As the train goes by he hits his head on a metal rail. "Mr President!"

"Ow! Mmmy eeeyyyeeees!"

"Vacation? What place have you always wanted to visit? One, two-"

"Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan!"

"That's not a bad place to visit..." The Doctor comments.

* * *

The Doctor, Dipper, Mabel, and Trembley are soon outside of the train. Durling and Blubs are in the train wearing Hawaiian shirts and wave to the three as the train departs.

"Bye-bye! Bye! We'll take care and deliver the rest of the cargo-and take a great vacation!"

Once the train is gone, Trembley gets to a knee and looks at Mabel. "You've done a great service to your country, Mabel. As thanks, I'd like to make you an official U.S. congressman." Unfolds a black top-hat and hands it to Mabel.

Mabel puts on hat. "I'm legalizing everything!"

"And Roderick-"

"Uh- actually- uh-"

"You dear boy are on your way to unlocking the mysteries of this great land. So I'd like you to have my President's Key!"

The twins were admiring their given gifts.

The Doctor tips his fedora.

"And to you my sir...it has been a long time, you might need this..." He hands over an envelope."

"Same, good o'l Trembley..." The Doctor fondly said.

* * *

Soon, Trembley, the Doctor, and the twins later on, back in Gravity Falls. Trembley is telling a story.

"...And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for, like, three hours. Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk."

"A-greed!"

"...I guess he was pretty grouchy afterwards due to losing his teeth to-"

Suddenly Pacifica and her friends watching girls run around a small maypole.

"Oh!"

"Kick her off the team."

Pacifica's friends walk away to do as she said. Mabel approaches Pacifica.

"Hey, Pacifica! I uncovered a government conspiracy about the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States! Who's silly now?"

"What? Who is that idiot?"

Trembley, who has his fists up and is chasing after a bald eagle.

"Put up your dukes, you bald fiend!"

Cut back to Mabel and Pacifica.

"The eighth-and-a-half president of America. How is he still alive? Well, turns out you can hibernate in peanut brittle and it-"

Pacifica bursts out into laughter. "Wow! You really are a sad, dumb little girl. Nice top hat, by the way."

Her parents, Preston and Priscilla Northwest laugh mockingly.

Preston Northwest laughs. "Good one, daughter."

"Ooh! I see your car is stuck in the mud. Enjoy walking home!"

"Aren't you gonna tell her about her-?"

"You know what, Dipper? I've got nothing to prove. I've learned to see silly as awesome!"

"Agreed, like I said- There's no point being grown-up if you can't be childish sometimes."

Dipper and Mabel both nodded.

"Children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here... (Pulls out bill) On the negative twelve dollar bill."

Dipper holds and examines bill. "Whoa! This is worthless."

"It's less then worthless, my boy. Trembley away!"

Trembley jumps backwards onto a horse and rides away.

"Where do you think he's going?"

"I'm gonna say... off a cliff."

"He'll be fine, besides no-one appreciates a genius when they say you must look back while riding your horse..." The Doctor stated.

* * *

Stan is telling to the twins the story of his imprisonment.

"And then Soos came by and talked to me for like, an hour."

"You've been through so much."

"Only if you knew..." The Doctor wistfully stated.

Dipper uses President's key to unlock the lock on the stocks and freeing Stan. "It works!"

"So what's with the top hat?"

"I am a congressman."

"Pardon me?"

"You are officially pardoned."

Dipper and Mabel laugh, to Stan's befuddlement.

"Oy! You a never gonna make sense, are you, kid?"

"No, I'm not, Grunkle Stan. No, I'm not. Mabel, away!" As she jumps backward and crashes into the Doctor. "Whoa! Nice-pun though."

"I'm okay!"

* * *

Trembley is in a courtroom talking to babies with mustaches wearing top hats.

"Esteemed gentlemen of the Supreme Court of the United States, I implore you to rethink your decision!"

The babies just sit there making cooing noises.

"Very well. But who would you have replace me?"

"Mama."

"That old crone?!"

"Ba ba ba..."

"Chief Justice Num-Num, y-you're spitting up on yourself! Now ohh! Oh, come on! This is a courtroom! I... this... this is a dark day for America."

5 16-12-21-18-9-2-21-19 20-18-5-13-2-12-5-25. 20-8-5 4-15-3 19-1-25-19: 4-15-14'20 2-12-9-14-11! 12-21-3-11-9-12-25 20-8-5 16-1-9-18 15-6 23-5-5-16-9-14-7 1-14-7-5-12-19 23-5-18-5 17-21-1-14-20-21-13 12-15-3-11-5-4 1-14-4 23-5-18-5 21-19-5-4 6-15-18 8-9-4-9-14-7 20-18-5-13-2-12-5-25 3-15-22-5. 13-5-1-14-23-8-9-12-5 13-1-2-5-12 19-5-3-18-5-20 3-18-21-19-8 9-19 8-1-13-9-12-20-15-14. 18-5-12-9-1-2-12-5 23-9-20-8 20-8-5 12-1-4-9-5-19! 12-15-22-5-12-25 6-5-12-12-15-23-19, 6-1-14-3-9-5-4 20-8-5 4-15-3.


	9. Chapter 9

_PSplinter09: No Worries my fellow reader. Stay safe and fine also._

 _Without further ado, let us continue the adventure! I do not own DW or GF, they belong to their creators. Cryptograms are A1 and Z26._

* * *

 _ **The Time Traveler's Pig**_

Under Stan's certain plans to gain more money, the Mystery Shack has the Mystery Fair being constructed.

"There she is, Mabel; the cheapest fair money can rent. I spared every expense."

Dipper is heard screaming off screen, then he comes falling down in a tram car. "I think the sky tram is broken. Also, most of my bones."

"Ha ha, this guy. Alright, alright. I've got a job for you two. (Pulls out a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates with the letter A on them) I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit." Which he hands them to Dipper, who gives some to Mabel.

"Grunkle Stan, is that legal?"

"When there's no cops around, anything's legal! Soos, how's that dunk tank coming along?"

Soos is using a blowtorch on the handle of a dunk tank. "Almost ready to go, Mr. Pines."

Stan knocks on the target and the seat barely moves. "Ha, you've got it rigged from here to Timbuktu! There's nothing on Earth that could knock me down!"

"Yeah, except for like a futuristic laser arm cannon."

The Doctor was coming alongside by Soos.

"Ah. Hey, you haven't seen my red screwdriver, have ya? Darn thing went missing."

"Maybe some magical creature or paranormal thing-um took it." Soos tries to explain.

"Possibly, give or take this unique place is-I highly wouldn't doubt it" The Doctor stated mysteriously.

"Oi! You both been spending too much time with those kids. (Keeps digging in toolbox and mumbling) Alright, let's see where'd I put that thing."

 _"The mission is proceeding as planned. Over_." A certain person is using Stan's red screwdriver to fix his camouflage suit, then walks away.

* * *

"It's 12 o' clock! The Dunk Tank is now open! Step right up, and dunk me folks! (points to a tourist eating a pretzel) I'm talking to you, Cut-offs!"

Tourists are all gathered in front of Stan's dunk tank.

"That's right! Muffin-Top, High-Pants! Who wants a piece of me?"

Tourists throw balls at dunk tank, but fail to knock down Stan.

"Ahahahaha! Come back anytime, folks! Ahahahaha!"

The Doctor and Dipper are eating corn dogs shaped like question mark. "How do they get them into this shape? It's unnatural." Dipper asks.

"But Dipper, they're so... (holds up corn dog to the end of the sign that says "DELICIOUS") delicious?"

Dipper and Wendy laugh.

Mustard drips on Wendy. "Aw, boo! I'll be right back."

"I'll be right here! Haha!... (whispering) I love you!"

Mabel enters with three cotton candy sticks. "Look at you two! Getting all romantic at the fair!"

The Doctor chuckles loudly.

"Eh, it's no big deal."

"Yeah, it is!"

"Okay, you're right, it is! Isn't this amazing? I just dove in! I said, "Hey! You wanna hang out at the fair?" And you know what she said? "Yeah, I guess so!" It totally worked! All your advice about just going for it, it's finally paying off!"

"When are you gonna learn, Dipper? I'm always right about everything! Hey, do you smell a gallon of body spray?" Mabel asks.

Robbie walks up. "Hey Dr Houston, (turns to the twins) have either of you dorks seen Wendy around?"

"Who wants to know?"

Robbie takes some of Mabel's cotton candy.

"Hey!"

"Yeah, I got some new super tight jeans. (thrusts) Thought she might want to check 'em out."

"Yeah! You know, I think I saw her-"

The Doctor interrupts, "Great improvement in fashion, Mr Valentino. Taste is indeed exquisite! Perhaps there are more grand designs out there" he adds with a wink.

"...Maybe I will (mutters)...smart guy." Bumps Dipper on his way away.

"He is such a jerk."

"Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar. I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs."

"I'll be there with you, brother. Whatever happens, I'll be right here, supporting you every step of the–OH MY GOSH, A PIG!"

Mabel runs frantically and bumps several people on the way to the pigpen.

"If'n you can guess the critter's weight, you can take the critter home!"

Mabel looks at all the pigs, then spots a 15 lbs one.

The pig oinks like the word "Mabel".

Mabel gasps. "He said "Mabel"! Either that or "doorbell." Did you say "Mabel" or "doorbell"?"

Oinks "Mabel" again.

"Ooooooooooohhhhh!"

"Definitely-and through said your name" The Doctor stated with a mad grin.

"Oh look! Mabel found her real twin." As Pacifica comes by with a laugh and walks away.

"Pacifica!...Sir, I must have that pig!"

"Ah, old 15-Poundy! So, how much you guessin' he weighs?"

"Um, 15 pounds?"

Sprott-the announcer of the pig pen squints, "Are you some kind of witch? Well, here's your pig." Which he gives Mabel her newfound pet pig.

Crowd claps for Mabel.

Sprott gives Mabel fork and knife. "And you'll be needin' these."

Mabel glares at Sprott.

"Nope? Well, suit yourself!"

Mabel hugs her new found-friend. "Everything is different now." The Doctor chuckles and approaches where Wendy is.

Meanwhile Wendy comes up. "Whoa, check it out! I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!"

Dipper walks up to ball toss game. "My uncle taught me the secret to these games. You aim for the carnie's head, and take the prize when he's unconscious."

"Ha ha ha! Nice!"

Dipper gives carnie money. "One ball, please."

Ball game carnie gives Dipper a ball. "You only get one chance."

Wendy gives Dipper thumbs up.

"And a-one and a-two and a-three!" Which he throws ball; it misses, bounces back, and smacks The Doctor in the eye.

"OOF! BY TREMBLEY, MY EYE!"

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! DOC! Are you okay?"

Wendy asks worriedly, "Does it feel swollen?"

"Everything's gonna be fine! Don't worry! I'll-I'll go get some ice! (runs to ice box, gets ice) Where is she, where is she? (Runs into a peculiar person and drops ice; scrapes it into the bag) Hey, watch where you're going, man!"

Dipper finishes scraping ice into bag and starts toward Wendy and the Doctor; stops when he hears Robbie.

"...Just ease your eyeball into that freezy cone, sir."

Wendy comments, "Aw Robbie. That's really sweet. The gesture, and the flavored syrup."

"Yeah, I was just here at the right place at the right time. Y'know, I've been meaning to ask you.. we've been spending a lot of time together and I was wondering if, maybe, you want to go out with me?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Sweet!"

Dipper is horrified. A balloon shaped like a heart is popped by a dart behind him. All the ice falls out of the bag. The Doctor is hiding the snow cone which his eye supposedly heals up quickly...

Mabel comes up to Dipper with a pig. "Look, Dipper! I won my pet pig! His name is Waddles. I call 'im that because he waddles! (Shakes Waddles) Waaaaaaaa-dddllleeessss!"

"Everything is different now."

"What are you lookin' at?"

Dipper points at Robbie and Wendy getting on a ride called "Tunnel of Love and Corn-dogs"

"Oh..."

Night falls and the lights on the ferris wheel are turned on. Dipper lies down on the "Slopey Toss"

"Guy Uh, are you gonna move?"

"Uhhhhhhhh.."

"Aw.."

Mabel holds up Waddles, who is dressed as a doctor. "Paging Dr. Waddles, we got a boy here with a broken heart. Haha! Come on, man. These are the jokes."

The Doctor shrugs. "No need to regret for the past Dipper. Things happen and come and go."

"Mabel, do you ever wish you could go back and undo just one mistake?"

"Nope! I do everything right, all the time! (Moves Waddles' arms around) Wa! Wa! Ee! Ee! Wawawa!"

"I mean Wendy only went out with Robbie because of that baseball, and I would've had the ice for Doc if it wasn't for... (gasp) that guy! Hey, you! Toolbelt! You ruined my life!"

"Huh?" The peculiar man was pointed out.

"Don't huh me! I've seen you before! What's your deal? Are you following us around?"

"And why are you bald? What's that all about?"

"AAAAAGH! My position has been COMPROMISED! Assuming stealth mode! (presses buttons on his watch, making his suit change to different backgrounds) Color match! Initiating color match! Come on, dang it!" As he takes out Stan's screwdriver and tries to fix it.

"...So that's it went."

"That's amazing! Are you from the future or something?"

"Uh, NO! Who told you that?! MEMORY WIPE!" As throws a baby wipe in The Doctor's face.

"...Humorously and regretfully tell you that this is a baby wipe." The Doctor states.

"All right, you've cornered me. I'm... a time traveler."

"So wait a minute, if you're from the future, do you have like a time machine, or something?"

"That's... kinda how it works."

Meanwhile Robbie and Wendy is riding the Ferris wheel.

"Can I borrow it, can I use your time machine just once?" The Doctor almost raises his eyebrows.

"No! Out of the question! You know, this is sensitive extremely complicated time equipment." As he pulls out tape measure to show them.

"It looks like a tape measure."

"You shut your time-mouth!"

"This making any sense to you?"

"I think he's just crazy."

"Oh! You don't believe me? (As the time traveler pulls the tape measure, disappears, then reappears a few seconds later in old fashioned clothes) Guess where I was!"

Dipper and Mabel both exclaim, "Whoa!"

"That's right! 15 years ago there was a costume shop right here! One second. (disappears, then reappears in his normal suit, which is flaming) Ah! Aw, heck! Pat! Pat down!"

"So, who are you again?"

"Blendin Blandin, Time Anomaly Removal Crew year twenty sñeventy-twelve. My mission is to stop a series of time anomalies that are suppose to happen at this very location! But-but I don't see any anomalies! I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or I'm just really tired..."

The Doctor's face looks solemn.

"You know, you sound like you could use a break."

"Definitely, definitely. Might we recommend one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair?"

Blendin gets up. "You know what? What the heck! I'm worth it! (starts to leave) But I've got my eye on you! Ehhh... ehhh... (arrives at the barrel ride, which Soos is operating) One please."

Soos replies. "Uh, sorry dude but you're gonna have to take your belt off for the ride. One of your tools might fly off and accidentally fix something."

Blendin gives it to him. "Guard it with your life."

"I will watch it like a hawk, dude." As he starts ride and sets the belt on the barrel at his side.

"Woooooo! Yaaaaaaayyy! Weeheee!"

Dipper reaches over and takes the belt.

"Like a hawk!"

The Doctor pulls and peers in his once-been given envelope's letter from his pockets. "Hmmm..."

* * *

The Doctor, Dipper, Mabel and Waddles sitting at the poker table in the Shack with the time machine on the table.

"Here it is, Mabel. Our ticket to any moment in history."

"Let's go get two dodos and force them to make out!"

"No! We gotta be smart about this. All that paradox talk kinda freaked me out. All I'm gonna do is go back and fix my one mistake. If I don't miss that base ball throw, I won't hit Doc in the eye, and Robbie won't comfort Wendy, and they won't start going out."

"I'm coming, too! I wanna relive the greatest moment in my life: winning Waddles." As she kisses Waddles.

"...I guess I would like to come. One more room?"

"Sure Doc! Man, I can't believe you are actually cool with this-I though time traveling is fictional!"

"...Well I would like to take off from my mind once for a while...let's go-then."

Dipper pulls out tape. "See you later." He states nonchalantly.

"See you earlier! Ha yuk yuk yuk!" Mabel adds in.

Dipper releases the tape and high fives Mabel, The Doctor holds by together between at the shoulders, making them all freeze.

Time soon went a bit backwards.

* * *

Dipper and Mabel, and the Doctor reappear in same spot. The Doctor's and Dipper's hats were on fire.

Dipper pats fire. "Ah! Ha! Ha!"

"Tsk, Tsk-there. Meanwhile we better be careful with wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff! This peculiar vortex manipulator burns your hair..."

Dipper and Mabel smile at each other and run outside. The Doctor quickly regains the position.

"It's 12 o'clock! The dunk tank is now open! Step right up and dunk me folks! I'm talking to you, Cut-offs!"

"Do-over?"

"Do over!"

"If'n you can gue–"

"15 POUNDS! (Walks off, then comes back) And yes, I am a witch!"

"Well, time to round up a mob..."

Dipper catching up with Wendy. "Hey, Wendy!"

"There you are. Hey, what happened to your hat?"

"Uh, nothing. Hey, look! What's that?"

"Whoa! Check it out! I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one."

"One ball, please."

"You only get one chance."

"That's what you think... One panda-duck, comin' right up! Okay, Dipper, second chance, don't mess this up. (throws ball, knocks down all the cans) Yes!"

The ball hits the back of the stand and bounces back and is about hit the Doctor in the eye.

The Doctor grabs it in through the midair. "Whoops! That was close!"

"What?!"

"Whoa, nice catch!"

Dipper looks at his hands. "That's so weird..."

"Oh, hey Robbie."

"So anyway, we've been hanging out a lot and I've been wondering if, maybe, you would want to go out with me?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

Mabel is feeding Waddles a caramel apple while Dipper talks to her. "The exact same thing happened twice; it was spooky."

"Oo, maybe it's a time-curse. Waddles, can you say "time-curse"?

"Oink-oink!"

"Ooooooohhhhhhh! (picks him up) Your face is so fat!"

The Doctor chuckles.

"It is possible that the forces of time naturally conspire to undo any new outcomes? No, I just need to try again. Third time's the charm!"

"How hard could it be?"

The Doctor frowns. "...Hopefully, this feels right."

The Doctor, Dipper, and Mabel pull the tape and disappear.

A crowd with torches walks around. "Find the witch!"

* * *

Afterwards, Dipper is trying to win the game without hitting The Doctor in the eye (which he catches it, or them), and failing every time to stop Wendy to go with Robbie.

"Wendy, how badly do you want that stuffed animal thing?"

"More than anything in the world, Dipper."

"Ahkay..." Which he throws ball once more, which bounces off the back, hits the carnie, the stuffed animal, and a bag of balls, breaking the bag open and spilling the balls on both Wendy and the Doctor.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Robbie helps her up and shakes his head at Dipper.

Mabel riding the ferris wheel with Waddles. "I LOVE MY PIG!"

Mabel and Dipper are waiting near a popcorn machine, which Dipper is writing on.

"...I just thought the wind speed.. factoring cotton candy..."

"Face it, Dipper, you're obviously fated to have a bad day at the fair, just like I'm fated to be with Waddles." Mabel shows him the sweater she's knitting, which has a pig on the front.

"Like there's one variable missing...

"What's a variable?""

"That's it! I've figured out to win the toss, not hit Wendy, and stop Wendy and Robbie from going out!"

"Great! I'm gonna go win my pig again!"

"Whoa whoa whoa, you can't leave, I need you for my plan!"

"But what about Waddles?"

"It'll just take a few minutes, let's go!" As he pulls her away. Later, Dipper is at the game, looking at the wind speeds and everything.

Wendy asks, "Are you gonna go, man?"

"And a-one and a-two and a-uh!"

"Ah! Dude! You missed!"

"Did I?"

The ball comes back down, rolls down the tent, flies up, hits the windgage, rolls down a pipe which Mabel lifts up, and flies at the dunk tank target.

"Huh!"

The ball hits the target and nothing happens.

"Awww"

Stan laughs, "Ahaha!"

The ball comes back and flies between Dipper and Wendy, knocks down all the cans, and bounces off the back of the stand, and breaks through the top of the tent.

"Your stuffed creature of indeterminate species, miss." As the carnie gives Wendy Duck-panda.

Wendy squeezes it, "Oh, awesome!"

Dipper catches the ball in his hat. "Nice catcho, Dipper! Remind me not to say that again." The Doctor adds with a wink.

"There you are, Wendy!" Robbie soon approaches the scene.

"Hey, Robbie."

"So I was wondering it I.. you a..."

"Look what Dipper got for me!"

"Pfft. Whatever. Can't even tell what species it is. Stupid." As he pulls hood over face and walks away.

"What's his deal? Looks like I came to the fair with the right guy."

"We have a winner!"

Mabel coming up behind Dipper. Dipper gives her a thumbs up. "Anytime, broseph. Now to win my pig. AH!"

"He's all yours! No one else's! Ol' 15-Poundy. Yours. Forever!"

Pacifica links leash onto alternate Waddles and pulls him away.

The pig disobeys Pacifica. "SQEEEEEEEEEEEEAAALLLL!"

Mabel screams and runs away.

"Thus a paradox would happen..." The Doctor stated with a frown.

* * *

Dipper and Wendy are riding the Tunnel of Love and Corn dogs and laughing.

"That was even more awesome the third time around! Funnel cake! Let's go get some, Dipper!"

Mabel screams, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (runs on) AAAAAAA!"

"What's–"

"AAAAAAAAAA!"

"Mabel, what's–"

"AAAAAAAAA!"

"I'll just wait until you're done."

"I'm done."

"Okay, what is wrong?"

"We messed up the timeline! Pacifica saw the flyer and won Waddles before I did! She TOOK Waddles, Dipper!"

"Oh, Mabel, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We just need to go back (takes time machine from Dipper) and do things differently."

"Mabel! Wait. (Takes time machine back) Look. I did the math. In any other timeline, Wendy ends up going out with Robbie. I can't mess up this day again!"

"But if we don't go, I'll lose Waddles forever!" As Mabel tries to take the time machine back.

Another car comes by and catches the tape, pulling it out a long way before letting go. "KIDS!" The Doctor quickly exclaims, and jumped in the spot where Dipper and Mabel are.

* * *

The Doctor, Dipper, and Mabel land flat on their faces on a dirt path. "OOF!"

"When are we?"

"The real question is: when are we? Oh wait, did you already–"

"Yeah, I already–"

"Alright."

"It's the same thing. Do you hear that?"

The Doctor turns his head around, "Buffalo stampede!"

Dipper and Mabel scream, "AAAAAAAAAA!"

As they altogether run and fall off a cliff. "AAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The Doctor cradles both twins in his hands and fall through the roof of a caravan and onto some flour.

Settler exclaims. "Be on the lookout for mountain lions, travelers!"

"Dysentery! Who wants dysentery?"

"Forge ahead, mighty oxen, for a new life awaits us on this... Oregon trail." The Doctor quickly pops his head up.

"Where are we? The 70s?"

"You sent us back 150 years, genius, it's pioneer times!"

"By Trembley! Fertilia, it seems you've given birth to two more children!"

"It appears I have. More little hands to render the tallow."

"Tallow? What?"

"There is a man with a hat with them! Her mouth is filled with silver, mother!"

"These are called braces."

"Mabel, we can't start messing with the past!"

"Oh, said the guy who messed with the past all day and cost me my pig? (holds up calculator) I'll mess with the past all I want! Check it out! A magic button machine! Shoes that blink!" As she stomps on the floor and her shoes light up.

"Ooooooooohhhhhh!"

Dipper quickly takes calculator from the boy.

"Hey, sister! Guess who gets to vote in the future! Ladies! Up top! (As Mabel high fives her, the Doctor quickly joined in) That's called a high five! Teach it to your friends!"

"Indeed! In few seconds we are going to disappear as magicians! This is just a dream!" The Doctor adds with a grin.

Dipper takes time machine from her. "Give me that! I'm gonna set the timeline right!"

As he pulls tape, The Doctor, Dipper, and Mabel disappear.

They appear in front of a large carnivorous dinosaur. "DINOSAURS!" The Doctor playfully exclaims.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Dipper frantically presses buttons on the time machine and they disappear.

Dinosaur tries to eat them but misses.

* * *

Dipper and Mabel appear in the future. The Doctor fans himself with his hat. The climate is burning literally, everything is in ruins, and there are two moons...

"Run! Run! Where are the reinforcements of the so-called Time Agency, Departments C4 and C19, Countermeasures, and Havoc?!"

"Quick, Back to Mt. Rushmore! MIAOW, PROBE, and UNISYC might help us! IT'S COMING!"

A giant threat known as 'Time Baby' floats over and destroys a building with laser eyes. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"This future seems neat!" Mabel playfully remarked. "Note to self, might able to help around here..." the Doctor remarked.

Dipper quickly takes time machine and presses buttons frantically.

* * *

They appear at the Gravity Falls Lake, at the opening day of fishing season, or the time the Doctor and others have stopped another McGucket's robotic destructive rampages.

"I'M COMING, WADDLES!"

"Hey!" Dipper runs after her and drops the calculator.

Old Man McGucket shouts, "I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!"

Now they are at the unveiling of Wax Stan...or the time the Doctor and the twins stopped murderous alien "wax people's uprising".

"...But enough about me, behold: ME!"

Dipper trips over wire and loses his shoe.

They run across the yard of the Mystery Shack (around the time it wasn't in Stan Pines' ownership...) while the gnomes are cornering the golf cart. Mabel's flower pin flies out of her hair. They appear again in the same spot years ago, but this time it is snowing.

"This thing is getting hotter! (tosses the time machine tape measure from hand to hand) HOT! HOTHOTHOT!"

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"QUICK, HOLD ON KIDS!"

The Doctor, Mabel, and Dipper disappear. After they are gone, the seemingly same-but-yet-younger Doctor with his red and black coat opens the shack door and closes it after checking, "Must been the wind, my friend-..."

The Doctor, Dipper, and Mabel appear in a complete darkness.

"Where are we?"

"There's nothing but inky blackness for miles! Mabel, don't you see?!"

"We must have transported to the end of time's emptiness!" The Doctor finished.

"AAAGH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"AAAGH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"AAAGH! Wait, why does it smell so bad in here?" Somewhat finds a door and opens it. They are in the portable toilet at the Mystery Fair.

"Heh, the mysterious strange teleporting portable!..." The Doctor remarks.

"Look, we're back in the present!"

"But which present?"

Wendy with the panda-duck shouts out, "This is the best present ever!"

"Yes!"

"SQUUUEEEEEAAALLLLL!" As Waddles was being dragged by Pacifica.

"NO! Gimme that thing! Dipper give it back!"

Dipper climbs to top of portable toilet. "Look, Mabel, it's over! Okay? Give it up! I've worked too hard to lose this!"

"But what about Waddles? He was my soulmate!"

"You said that about a ball of yarn once! Do you really want Wendy to date Robbie?"

"I don't know... " As Mabel starts to hit her head against the totem pole.

"You're not guilt-tripping me, Mabel. Not this time."

Mabel doesn't stop hitting her head against the pole.

"Come on, Mabel, I know you. You're gonna forget about this in a day! (takes time machine out of pocket) Here! Hey! I'll prove it! (goes forward a day with the Doctor which his face seemed solemn) See? (Mabel is still hitting her head on the pole) Okay, maybe you'll forget in a week... (goes forward a week with the Doctor, no improvement. Dipper starts to sweat) A month! She'll better in a month!"

Alternate Mabel has vines growing on her legs. "Waddles... (smack) Waddles..."

Alternate Soos leading a tour group. "...And when you look at you're left, you'll see Miserable Mabel: a girl who went bonkers after her dreams were shattered by some heartless jerk. Oh, hey, Dipper and Doc!"

"Hm...then I propose a solution...Quick Dipper! Let's go back, for I have an idea..." As The Doctor planned to go back to certain events with Dipper...

* * *

Wendy I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!

"Wendy, I just wanted to say that, well I just wanted say that people makes mistakes, and when they do, you should forgive them. And also that tight pants are overrated."

"Dude, you lost me."

"I know... One ball, please."

"You only get one chance."

"And a-one and a-two and a-huh!"

The process was made, however this time; the Doctor wasn't there to see it-and Dipper wins the prize for her.

Dipper grins. "It is done."

Mabel attacks him in a hug and lifts him up. "DIPPER! DOC was now the one who won me Waddles! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! Hmmm!"

Waddles oinks the sound similar to "thank you".

"He's saying thank you in Pig! Aren't you, Waddles?"

Waddles oinks "thank you" two times and turns body around and kicks his legs. "He certainly is" The Doctor winks. "Enjoying the recent adventure and the fair?"

Pacifica is being pecked by a chicken, "Ow-Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!..."

"I couldn't break your heart, Mabel. Besides-"

Blendin interrupts Dipper and takes time machine back. "YOU THREE!"

Dipper and Mabel shouts, "AAAGH!"

Blendin screamed, "Do you have any idea, how many rules you just broke?! I'm asking; I wasn't there with you... it was probably a lot, right?"

Suddenly certain time travelling police agents named Dundgren and Lolph, appear next to Blendin, "Blendin Blandin..."

"AAAAGH! The Time Paradox Avoidment Enforcement Squadron!"

"That's right, and our phones have been ringing off the hook! There are settlers high-fiving in the 1800's and calculators littered through eight centuries!"

"You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct!" As he handcuffs him and leads him away.

"It was those kids!...and that guy? And their leader, Waddles!"

"That's a pig, Blendin."

"I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never MEET!"

"Well, we're still here." Dipper joked funnily.

Mabel adds in, "Guess he forgot to go back."

Stan shouts across, "Ha, you suckers! Your pockets are empty and I'm still sittin' high and dry!"

"BOOOO!"

"Boo! Ha, boo! I love it! Hey, DOC! Just Saying-Give your Best Shot!"

The Doctor without noticing, holds his sonic under his arm while bending over to re-search in his bag, causing it to buzz, and then-

SPLASH! Stan was dunked into the water.

"YYAAAAYY!"

The Doctor looks up and laughs very aloud at certain turn of events.

"So I guess we never found out who was causing those time anomalies Blendin was looking for."

"Actually..." The Doctor recovers. "It was us..."

"Ugh, my brain hurts."

"Oh, geez, I gotta deal with this all summer?"

Robbie suddenly approaches and is feeding Wendy caramel apple. "It's good; it's caramel."

Mabel whispers, "I'm on it. " She points Waddles at the apple.

Waddles runs at Robbie, making him drop the apple. Waddles eats it.

Robbie backs into a table and spills a buck of hot water on himself. "My pants! They're shrinking, shrinking! Shrinking!"

Everyone laughs.

Wendy wipes her tears while holding the won gift. "Oh man."

Dipper states, "That'll do pig, That'll do."

* * *

Time Baby is suspending Blendin in a void. "You have broken the eternal laws of space time!"

"I beg your mercy, Time Baby!"

"You now must clean up all the anomalies we assigned you for!"

Soon _,_ Blendin is picking up the calculator that was dropped by the twins. "Ta tum, ta tee ta tum!" He goes sarcastically. And goes to the time of Mabel's flower pin that was dropped.

Suddenly a gnome stares up to him. "What are you looking at?" Disappears soon after.

14-15-20 8 7 23-5-12-12-19 1-16-16-18-15-22-5-4. 20-8-5-9-18 16-18-5-19-5-14-3-5 19-20-9-12-12 18-5-19-21-12-20-5-4 9-14 20-8-5 9-14-22-5-14-20-9-15-14 15-6 20-8-5 8-9-7-8 6-9-22-5 15-22-5-18 1 8-21-14-4-18-5-4 25-5-1-18-19 5-1-18-12-25.


	10. Chapter 10

_lautaro94: Sorry to disappoint; the Doctor has disguised himself with a special type of perception filter fedora so that he doesn't want to draw unwanted forces after him..._

 _PSplinter09: SPOILERS! :P_

* * *

 ** _Fight_** ** _Fighters_**

The Doctor and Soos are showing Mabel and Stan around an arcade.

"This is it dudes, my favorite place in Gravity Falls. Everything I know, I learned right here. A frog taught me how to cross a street. When my house was haunted, I learned how to eat ghosts. And this thing taught me how to dance."

Old Man McGucket is dancing on an out of order dancing machine, "Woo-hoo-hoo! I've been jiggin' here for seven days straight!"

Mabel Pines picks up the plug to the dance machine, "Uh, Soos?"

The Doctor chuckles, "Let have it...it is the least we can do..."

Stan scratches his head and shrugs. He later walks to a new video game called "Insert Token!" and inserts a coin.

"Congratulations! You win!"

Screen resumes saying: "Insert token!" Stan gets upset and growls.

Meanwhile, Dipper and Wendy are playing Fight Fighters, with Rumble McSkirmish and Dr. Karate as their player characters.

"Oh, oh, oh!"

"Watch out! Wow! Ooh, cutscene!"

Rumble: "DR. KARATE, YOU KILLED MY FATHER AGAIN!"

Dr. Karate: "HHNNGHHHH!"

Rumble: "YOU TAKE THAT BAAACKKKK!"

Game announcer: "Fight!"

Rumble and Dr. Karate, being controlled by Dipper and Wendy, fight each other.

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Go! Go!"

Game announcer: "K.O! The winner: Rumble Mcskirmish!"

Rumble: "WINNERS DON'T LOSE!"

"What? You cheated."

Dipper imitating Rumble, "YOU TAKE THAT BAAACK!"

Game announcer: "Round Two!"

"I'm gonna punch the ref."

Game announcer: "Fight!"

"Let's gang up on him."

Rumble and Dr. Karate do all of the combo moves so that they aren't hitting each other but it looks as though they are hitting the referee.

"Hohoho!"

Robbie is nearby, putting up a flyer. "Wendy! What's up, babe? Yeah, just putting up some flyers for my band. I'm playing lead guitar. No biggie."

Dipper looks skeptically at the picture of Robbie on the poster. "Are you wearing mascara?"

"Uh, it's eye-paint for men."

"Hey Robbie, Dipper was just showing me this great game."

"Ha, yeah, sweet, sweet. (To Dipper) Hey, how about you sit this one out, okay champ?"

"But we just started this round."

"Whoa, whoa, hey! Relax man, I'm just trying to spend a little time with my girlfriend, alright?"

"It'll just be one round." Wendy adds in.

Game announcer: "Round Three! Fight!"

Wendy and Robbie start playing the game and talking.

"...So hey, I'm gonna go camping tomorrow with my dad so, I won't be around."

"Oh, cool, cool, watch out!" As he puts his arm over Wendy's shoulder and subtly glares at Dipper.

Game announcer: "Opponent sighted! Fight!"

The Doctor jumps out of nowhere, "Welp, there is two ways arguing over a lady, and neither works!" ( _A/N: RDR's reference)_

* * *

Soon at the Mystery Shack, where Stan, Dipper, Mabel and Soos are playing poker. The Doctor is fiddling with with his sonic with Stan's red screwdriver.

"King me!" Mabel reveals her hand which has two Kings.

"Aww! Come on!"

"It's not fair, she doesn't even know what we're playing!" Stan argues.

"Heh-looks like you taught her all too well" The Doctor winks.

Mabel advises, "Go Fish?"

Electric guitar starts playing outside the shack.

"Dude, I think I'm picking up a radio station inside my head."

"Try blinking to see if you can change the channel."

Soos blinks.

Robbie is singing supposedly outside, "Weeendy!"

"Ugh, sounds like Robbie."

"Robbie? Is he that jerky twerp I see making goo-goo eyes at Wendy all the time?"

"He called me "Big Dude" once. I mean, I know I'm a big dude, but it kinda hurt."

"Should I sic Waddles on him again?"

Waddles chews Mabel's sweater.

Mabel giggles,"Whoa, easy tiger."

"Well-he's just misunderstood, that is all. Maybe I will ask him if he's up for another summer paranormal explorations." The Doctor explains, after fixing his sonic.

Dipper gets up. "I'll handle it."

"Ooooooh!"

Stan laughs, "Ha ha, conflict!"

* * *

"Wendy! Wendy, Wendy! Wendy! C'mon out, girl! C'mon down!"

"You realize she's not here, right?" Dipper said as the Doctor trails behind him.

Robbie scoffs, "Yes! ...What?"

"She's out camping with her family today. (Quietly) And if you listened to her for once you'd know that."

"What was that?!"

"I- just said she's not here."

Robbie snaps, "No, no, no! You want to get into it, huh? Lets get into it, kid! You think I don't know what's been going on, huh? It's obvious you've got a thing for my girlfriend, don't you? Don't you?!"

The Doctor's eyebrows raises.

"What? No! C'mon, man!"

Robbie bursts out sarcastically, "Yeah, I'm sure she's just DYING to ask out a 12-year old kid who wears the exact same shorts every day. Hey, here's an idea: (Pulls out his cell phone and calls Wendy) why don't I call her right now and see if she wants to go out on a date with you?"

"Hey! Look-! Don't! You don't have to-!"

Robbie mimicking Dipper, "Oh! Don't! Please, man! (Holds up phone; normal voice) What're you gonna do, huh? What, huh?"

"Mr Valentino, I think-" The Doctor approaches

"Hello?"

Everyone froze, including the Doctor, whose tilted his head questionably.

Dipper, without warning, smacks Robbie's cell phone out of his hand, making it hit the ground and break.

"My phone!"

"I-I'll buy you a new one!"

"Oh no, you're not getting off that easy!" Losing his temper, he lifts Dipper up by the collar and angrily prepares to hit him.

"A-HEM!" The Doctor quickly came forward.

Robbie lightly sets Dipper to the ground.

Robbie whispers, "You. Me. Circle Park. 3 o'clock. (Walking away) We finish this."

The Doctor quickly snatches up Robbie's phone-within seconds, it looks fine; thanks to the sonic. "Good as new."

Hands off the phone to Robbie who began to back off a bit, which he realizes Dr Houston was right there. "Greatly disappointed, Mr Valentino-on the other hand; it is summer...run along now, cheerio!"

Robbie goes off fuming. Dipper sweats.

Stan arrives with a bucket of popcorn, "Aw, come on Doc-he's gone! You scared him off I was just gonna call the boys over to place a few bets! (Chews popcorn) The smart money's on Skinny Jeans."

* * *

"What was I thinking?! I can't fight! I've never been in a fight before! Look at these noodle arms!"

Stan replies, "Bonk him over the head! It's nature's snooze button!"

"Permanent brain damage, Stan!" The Doctor defended.

"Boys! Why can't you learn to hate each other in secret? Like girls do!" The Doctor chuckles, "Can't argue that, right there!"

Stan snickers, "Sure, listen to your sister! Maybe you can share dresses too! (Laughs) BOOM!"

"Fashion designing-I am all in!" The Doctor adds in.

"Maybe he'll just forget about it. Maybe it'll all blow over."

Soos states, "I don't know, Dipper. Teenagers are dangerous. Those hormones turn them into like, killing machines!"

"R-Really?"

"Oh yeah, dude. My cousin Reggie got in a fight with a teen once. The guy broke like, all his arms, all his legs, and I think, killed him or something, I don't know. Me and Reggie were just talking about it."

"Hm...that would explain other beings I encountered" The Doctor rubs his head.

Dipper backing up into corner. "I can't stay here! What if Robbie comes back!? I gotta hide!"

"Look, kid. You got yourself a choice here. You can either go face him like a man, or you can hide indoors like a wimp. What'll it be?" Stan stated.

Dipper silently ponders what Stan said.

"For me, I would run away!" The Doctor advises.

* * *

Soos is playing an arcade game and Dipper is hiding under it. The Doctor scanning the whole area, as he is in his usual paranormal investigative mood that he used to share with certain people...

"Wimp it is." Soos says.

"C'mon Soos, Robbie's twice my size. I mean, what will getting myself killed accomplish? I just need to hide here until 3 o'clock passes. (Looks at watch; it turns into 11:30) Uggggh, this day will never end!"

"Relax, Dipper. Just try not to think about Robbie."

Dipper looks up at dozens of posters for Robbie's band, all with their slogan: "You're dead!"

"Day will end soon always...heh...that's ages, I mean what if I get bored or need a television, a couple of books. Anyone for chess. Bring me knitting!"

Soos and Dipper look at the Pines mysterious-spoken godfather.

* * *

"Giiirl, why you 'ackin so cray-cray?"

TV Announcer: "Why You Ackin' So Cray-Cray? will be back in a moment."

"Ugh, poor Dipper. Hiding from Robbie, unable to face his fears. I hope Doc helps him." Mabel stated.

"Fears are for chumps, pfft, as always-Doc disagrees. That's why I don't have any. (Stan ties to reach an item on a shelf) Ugh, ugh!"

"You want me to go get a ladder?"

"We don't have one."

"What?"

"You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own ten guns, in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder." _(A/N: You gotta love this joke.)_

"Grunkle Stan, why you ackin' so cray-cray?"

"YOU'RE the one who's "ackin' cray-cray!" I gotta go now."

"Why would Grunkle Stan be so weirded out by ladders? Of course! I think he has a secret fear of heights! We'll have to test him to be sure! Or we could leave well enough alone... Nah!"

* * *

The Doctor is usually using his sonic around the arcade area. Dipper, as he caught the sight of it, though it might be just one of his godfather's erratic devices to investigate the town's usual "weirdness".

Dipper playing "Fight Fighters". "Stupid Robbie. Such a jerk!"

"Not all are born bad, my boy. It takes time-oop, I think I got something..."

Game announcer: "Round One! Fight!"

Dipper loses the first round.

Game announcer: "K.O! Continue?"

"A WINNER NEVER RUNS AWAY FROM A FIGHT!"

Dipper signs, "That's easy for you to say, you have more than one life. Ugh, I wish one of these guys would fight Robbie for me. (Starts to insert another coin, but drops it and it rolls onto the floor.

The Doctor notices and bends down to pick it up and notices something written on the machine, and brushes off the dust, revealing the text, "...To unleash ultimate power?" the Doctor questioned. "Where did I have heard about this ideology before..."

Dipper also notices and reads it. "...I do like things that are ultimate."

"Um...Dipper, I think-"

Dipper punches the written promising code. "Back, back, hold, forward, back, forward, down, hold, quarter circle, forward, triple punch! (Machine shuts down) I guess it didn't work."

Screen flares back to life. "Uhhh, Doc?"

"SELECT YOUR CHARACTER!"

"Wait-what?" The Doctor questioned.

"Uhhh... Rumble McSkirmish?" Dipper adding in.

Suddenly, Rumble materializes outside of the game. "KickkickkickkickKICK!"

"...what?"

"Whoa! You're real?" Dipper states. "HIGH FIVE! Ow! Your pixels are really sharp! Ugh!"

"GREETINGS, CHILD-BOY! I AM RUMBLE MCSKIRMISH, FROM THE U.S.A! PUNCH! KICK! PUNCH! KICK!"

"Ow! Cooool!" The Doctor, meanwhile has his jaw dropped. "...What?"

"CHANGE MACHINE! CHANGE ME INTO A POWERFUL WOLF! HWAAAAH!"

 _"With Rumble around, Robbie will be so scared, I won't even need to fight him. I've got the world's greatest fighter to be my bodyguard!"_ Dipper thoughts.

"I need power ups!"

"This is so amazing! I gotta show Soos! (Looks around) Soos?"

The Doctor shakes his head out, and sees he's missing. He goes and walks up to the NORT machine and sees upon seeing Soos literally inside the game.

"...What?!"

"Help, I'm trapped in the game! It was cool in theory but in practice it was really boring. It's not just a game anymore!"

"...WHAT?!"

* * *

Soon, Dipper and the Doctor brought Rumble to Mystery Shack's kitchen. He attacks fly in a millisecond. The Doctor pulls out his supposed glasses that similarly seemed to be round and also rectangular, along with being 'soniced' sunglasses and a bit 3-D colors. He carefully analyzes Rumble's nature and movements.

Dipper checking the refrigerator. "Well, we don't have any traditional power ups: turkey legs, pizza boxes, or gold rings. How about... half a taco?"

"Place it, on the floor."

Dipper puts the taco on the floor, Rumble looks at it, it disappears and then reappears in his power-ups menu.

"I wish I could do that!"

"Now I must defeat the world's greatest fight-fighters. Take me to the Soviet Union!"

"I am afraid to say that-already been past very long time ago! It is in history books now." The Doctor informed Rumble.

"That's gonna be tough... for a number of reasons. But I do know a fighter here in Gravity Falls."

"Maximum Power?"

Dipper gives Rumble one of Robbie's band posters. "His name is Robbie V. and he's kinda like my arch enemy."

"Um, Dipper-"

"Did he kill your father?"

"Well he's dating the girl I like and he posts a really annoying amount of status updates."

Rumble crumples the poster. "And then he killed your father!"

"Uh, sure. Anyway, I was hoping you could, y'know, scare him off for me so I don't have to fight the guy."

"Hahaha! Your question makes my shoulders bounce! Fire ball! (Shoots a Hadouken at the window, which the Doctor dodges) Uppercut! Downer-cut! Bowl of PUNCH!" As he drinks from punch bowl and then smashes it.

"I daresay, I think this kinda went a bit too far..." The Doctor remarked.

"...So you'll protect me from Robbie?"

"Challenge accepted! Press start!" A start button appears. The Doctor eyes widen. "Dipper-wait, No-!"

 _History and actions repeats itself._

Dipper presses it. "Uh oh, I think I hear my uncle. Stay perfectly still!"

Dipper is then standing next to Rumble, who is rocking back and forth in a fighting stance.

"I said stay still."

Rumble still rocking back and forth. "This is as still as I can stay!"

"Oh...No..." The Doctor commented.

* * *

"...How am I gonna get Grunkle Stan over his fear of heights? I mean-he showed it when the skydiving channel appeared."

Dipper walks in with Rumble, with the Doctor trailing behind. "Hey Mabel. Have you met Rumble yet? He's my new bodyguard."

"The child gave me a taco!"

Eh, it is a long story" The Doctor explains.

"Wow! He's got a crazy voice! Here, say these words." As Mabel writes words on a piece of paper and hands them to Rumble.

"Effer...vescent! Apple..fritter! RIBOFLAVIN!"

"Mabel, he's not a toy, he's a fighting machine. I'm gonna get him to defend me from Robbie."

"Isn't that kinda like cheating?"

"I guess so. Well, I'll see you after the fight."

The Doctor was in a long thought for a while...

"POOP! POOP AND BUTTS!"

* * *

The Doctor, Dipper, and Rumble are out on Main Street.

"Tell me my opponent's special moves." Rumble stated. The Doctor carefully, eyeing Rumble, pulls out his sonic.

"Don't worry. As soon as he sees you, he's gonna wet his pants."

"His wet pants will be no match FOR THIS!" As he picks up a metal pipe and whips it around.

"Whoa! Where'd that came from?"

"I punched an oil drum!"

"Trust me, you won't need that. Just give him a good scare."

"Yes... (Picks up a sword) WITH THIS!"

"This street has really dangerous litter."

Suddenly, Robbie approaches Dipper.

"Well, well, well! Look who decided to show up! I thought you chickened out. You ready to settle this like men?"

Dipper replies, "Look dude, I don't think you want to fight me. Let's just call this thing off before someone gets hurt."

"You scared, huh? Is that it?"

"Demons Run, When Good People Go to WAR!" The Doctor warns, running to the confrontation-and pulls his sonic. "Robbie, quick-!"

Rumble comes out nowhere due to Dipper's secret signal from the dark and assumes fighting pose.

"Who's your friend? And why is he... blurry?"

"This happens to be the greatest warrior that ever lived!"

"Yeah, right! Hey Eye Patch, what did the kid promise you? More tape for your forearms?"

"HOW CAN YOU LAUGH, WHEN YOU KILLED THIS BOY'S FATHER?!"

Robbie was stunned, "Wait, what?"

"I'm giving you one last chance, back down, or this guy's gonna go nuts."

"How 'bout YOU back down, kid?"

"How about neither all of us?! Watch out!" The Doctor caught Rumble's first movement out of fury.

Robbie ducks Rumble's hard, swift punch. "What the-?!" Tries to run away, but Rumble picks him up. "Whoa! Hey! What's happening?"

"I didn't wanna have to do this, man, but you gave me no choice. Maybe now, if you-"

Rumble slams Robbie to the ground. The Doctor grimaces.

"Whoa! Rumble! You can stop! I think Robbie's had enough-"

"RUMBLE... (Throws Robbie high in the air) THROW!"

"STOP! I SAID STOP!"

Robbie is caught by the Doctor. "Hey! What the-? HELP-DOC! THAT GUY'S CRAZY!"

Rumble throws a fireball. "FIREBALL!" Which hits the nearby metal bars. "RUN!" The Doctor said to Robbie. Both ran off together.

"What the heck was that?! You were only supposed to scare him; you almost killed him and my friend!"

"I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THE MAN WHO DISHONORED YOU IS DESTROYED! (Punches Robbie's band poster and runs after him) AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGG! (Jumps up and punches an electric pole) PUNCH!"

"This isn't good. Doc was right-something told me this would be his first stop."

Robbie runs out of the building and starts down the fire escape. Rumble Breaks through the wall with a barrel.

"AHA!" As he throws barrel at Robbie.

Robbie ducks to avoid the barrel. "Chill out man! Just chill out!"

Dipper catches up, "Please, Rumble! You gotta stop!"

Rumble throws down barrels at Robbie and the Doctor, which both jumps over, imitating Donkey Kong.

Dipper chasing after them. "Rumble, wait!"

"Punch punch punch!"

Dipper pleads, "You don't have to do this! At least pace yourself... (Starts to slow down as he gets a cramp in his side) You might get a cramp- (Stops) Ah!"

Meanwhile, a man giving his son a key of a car.

"I love you, Dad."

Robbie runs by, and Rumble chases him, causing Rumble to destroy the car. The Doctor pulls the man and his son to safety.

Rumble chases Robbie through an outdoor barbecue.

Dipper splashes water on his face and continues chasing after them but then stops and pants. Soos pulls up in his pick-up truck.

"Soos! Where you been?" Dipper asks quickly.

"Uh, (Gestures to the NORT frame around his neck) long story, man-Doc saved me. Dude, you see that video game guy tearing up everything in sight? Ha ha! That's crazy!"

"Yeah, you kinda sorta missed it, Dipper and I brought him to life to be his "bodyguard". But now we have to stop him before he kills Robbie!" The Doctor quickly explains, as he quickly ran off to protect Robbie.

"You need an amiable sidekick with a pickup truck?"

"You know I do." Dipper gets into truck.

* * *

Meanwhile at the water tower. Mabel is leading Stan who is wearing a blindfold.

"Take off your blindfolds... now!"

Stan removes his blindfold and sees the great height he's at. "Yeah, that's pretty much what I was expecting."

"You're doing better than I thought! Now let go of the handrail..."

"Nope.

"Hey, do you smell anger and hormones?"

Robbie runs up the water tower with the Doctor. "Finally! We're safe!"

"Hey, Robbie! Get your own water tower!"

The Doctor explains, "SSSHHHHH! Keep it down! He'll find us!"

"CHALLENGER SIGHTED!"

Robbie screams.

Soos pulls up in his truck; tells to Dipper. "Time to save the day, dude."

"YOU CAN HIDE, BUT YOU CANNOT HIDE!"

Dipper runs up to Rumble. "Rumble! This has to stop! Please! Listen to me!"

Rumble kicks the water tower, making it lean.

"What's happening!?" Mabel screams.

Stan groaned. "Oh boy..."

"We're safe, right?"

"Of course not! This thing is on stilts! High high up!"

Robbie falls off the water tower and is caught by The Doctor. "There! I got you, I got you!"

"FINISH HIM!"

"No no no, don't! Don't finish me!"

Rumble gathers up fireball to fire at hanging Robbie, which is vaporized when a coin hits his head. "HWUUUUAAAAAAAAA?!"

"RUMBLE! (Throws aside two black planks he was using to make a cut scene effect) Rumble! I have something to tell you! Robbie... Robbie didn't kill my father."

"HUUUUUUHH? THEN WHO DID?"

"What? No one. I-I lied to you."

"HWUUUHH? WELL THEN YOU'RE ACTUALLY A... BAD GUY!"

"I guess I kinda am..." As Dipper hangs his head.

The Doctor quickly pulls up Robbie, and escorts him to Mabel, and Stan quickly. Mabel awes The Doctor who suddenly did a back flip and land safely. "Dipper!"

Rumble shouts, "My entire journey, a lie! My honor has been disgraced! Sensei warned me not to join the path of evil... the boy has led me astray! (To Dipper:) If Robbie V. is not the last stage, then it must be... YYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!"

"START" button appears next to Dipper.

The Doctor runs up to Dipper. "Don't fight him! That guy's movements got like a black belt wrapped around his black belt. Gosh, we can get killed!" As he grips his sonic.

"I have to. I started all this and I've got to at least try to stop it."

Soos states aloud. "You sure you wouldn't rather hide like a wimp?"

The Doctor hits "START".

"Fight like a man it is." Soos says.

"At least you won't be alone" The Doctor replies. "Soos! Tell Robbie, Mabel, and Stan get outta here!"

"READY?"

Out of nowhere, The Doctor's and Rumble's health bars fill up. Rumble gets into a fighting stance and Dipper gets into a fighting stance that mimics his.

"FIGHT!"

Rumble charging at Dipper. "AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGHH!"

Dipper charging at Rumble. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"FIREBALLTHROWLIGHTNINGBALLTHROW! FIRE! (Throws it and misses Dipper. Kicks Dipper, Rumble laughs) YOU FIGHT LIKE A GIRL! WHO IS ALSO A BABY!"

"Urr! (Runs and uppercuts Rumble in slow motion) AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Soos shouts, "DUUUUUUUUDE!"

Rumble falls to ground. "Nice!" The Doctor commented.

"Yes! (Rumble's health goes down by 0.5%) Oh no."

"QUICK, RUN!"

Soos climbs tree and waves arm in front of Rumble's health, which slightly blurs but doesn't disappear. "Eh. Eh. (Stops swinging at health bar) Well, it was worth a shot."

Rumble throws another fireball but it vanishes due the Doctor's sonic, and Dipper climbs up a tree.

Rumble races around under him. "NO! I HAVE NO LOOKING UP! ANIMATION! (Tries to look up) AAAAAAAAAAA... " As he falls flat to the ground.

Dipper laughs; jumps down from tree. "So, what should I do, roll him up and put him on my wall?"

"Dude, we should rock paper scissors for him!" Soos states.

The Doctor suddenly holds his head. "Wait a minute...THAT IS IT! Winners DO NOT LOSE! Dipper! Soos! Outta of the way, quickly!"

The Doctor moves swiftly to get Dipper and Soos not be attacked by Rumble-Dipper widens his eyes; realizing what the Doctor is going to do.

"FIST! PUNCH! RAAAAAIIIIINNNN!"

Fists rain on the Doctor. _It begins._

The Doctor received so many blows, but all are not that fatal. _The dark momentum._

He gets up. _The dark momentum rises._

"NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THAT I HAVE PUNCHES! (Starts flaming) HWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (Punches the Doctor repeatedly) SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER MEGA MULTI ALPHA META EXTRA UBER PREFIX... COMBO!"

"OOOOOOFFFF!"

A small twinkle of light appears on a black screen, the health bar on the Doctor came to zero, then a mushroom cloud shaped like a fist appears.

"RUMBLE WINS!"

The Doctor is lying on the ground, pretending to be badly beaten. He heaves up. Dipper rushes to his side. The Doctor winks at him.

"You, sir, truly are the greatest fighter ever..." Dipper tells Rumble carefully.

"WINNERS DON'T LOSE!"

The Doctor then presses his sonic-making the "Game Announcer" voice's volume double. "I wouldn't be too sure about that, my dear fellow."

Game announcer loudly proclaims, "GAME OVER!"

"...What?...no...No...No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Game over, old friend." As Dipper collects points, and writes "DIP" into the high score entry in the air.

Soos runs over. "Heh! Nice one, dude!"

Back to the water tower, which Robbie, Mabel, and Stan are already been warned by Soos; being at the safe area of the tower.

"I'm sorry, Grunkle Stan! I thought this would help, but I was wrong! So wrong!" Mabel apologized to Stan.

However...

"I-I survived! I survived and I feel great! Wait, let me do a cocky dance just to be sure. (As he does his cocky dance) Alala-loo-doodly-doo-doodly-doo! HAHA! DEAL WITH IT WORLD! STAN PINES HAS CURED HIS FEAR OF HEIGHTS! (Starts down ladder and stops when he notices that Mabel isn't coming) You comin', kid?

"Uh-huh"

Stan jokes, "What's the matter, YOU got a fear of heights, now? Haha! (Pauses) Uh-oh."

Robbie came down after Mabel is lead by Stan. He approaches The Doctor and Dipper. "What? Who-who-who was that guy?! Why is it that whenever you guys around, there's always ghosts or monsters, or whatever?!"

The Doctor replies, "Like I said, you with the others-just venturing to great paranormal adventures or whatnot with me, to increase your sights on certain things."

Robbie turns to Dipper. "That guy almost broke my neck! You know how mad I am right now?!"

"So I guess you and I have to fight now, huh? Go ahead, man. Do your worse. I just want to get this over with."

"Oh, man! I am so gonna enjoy this! (Raises his fist, but notices the Doctor sudden stern glare)...um...aren't you gonna run?"

"Nope."

"...Are you sure?"

Dipper nods.

Robbie pauses briefly, rethinking his actions.

The Doctor joins in. "It's not even worth it to try. It is like pressing that certain big, addictive, shiny red button. To make it simple, you have to play lead guitar so you gotta save your hands."

Robbie silently nods.

Wendy walks up to Dipper and Robbie out of nowhere. "Hey guys! I heard some crazy screaming back here."

Dipper and Robbie are dumbfounded. "Wendy?"

"You're back!"

"Yeah, man. Whoa! What the heck happened here? Freak tornado or something?"

"Nope, just one of our summer vacation paranormal investigations, this time with Robbie and Dipper" The Doctor grins with a smile.

"...And why are your faces all jacked up? You guys weren't fighting each other, were you? I hate it when guys fight."

"No! Fighting?"

"Why would we be fighting? Never!"

"Yeah, we actually fell over trying to stop two other guys from fighting each other."

"Indeed, both of them were very brave." The Doctor adds in.

"Cool! It really makes me happy to see my two boys hanging out. I got some unpacking to do. I'll text you guys later." As kisses Robbie and pats Dipper, then leaves.

"Did you hear that? She called me one of her two boys!"

"She was looking at me, though."

The Doctor chuckles very loudly.

"Look, Robbie, if we're stay at each other's throats, we're both gonna lose Wendy. We need to make a cold war pact."

"Okay. What's that?"

"We need to learn to hate each other, in silence."

"You mean like, what girls do?"

"Yeah, exactly! What girls do."

"Actually, don't be _hungry as wolves_...instead just be better as great acquaintances, besides I had refrain myself doing the same mistake." The Doctor interrupts wistfully.

* * *

Soon, Dipper, Robbie, and Wendy are at the cash register.

"So, then I told Thompson, "Hey, save some for the rest of us!"

Dipper and Robbie laugh together, "Ha! Good one, Wendy! That's great!"

Wendy drops her hairbrush. "Aw, man. Just a sec."

Dipper and Robbie stare and nod at each other.

Wendy stands back up, having found the hairbrush and resumes brushing her hair. "So as I was saying..."

Dipper and Robbie are agreeing with Wendy.

 _Later_

The Doctor, Dipper, Stan, Mabel, and Wendy are shown in front of the Mystery Shack in video game graphics.

Dipper: "I'm Dipper. I have shorts and determination!"

Mabel: "It's a-me! A-Mabel!"

Stan: "I'm slower, but I jump higher."

Wendy: "Pick me or whatever."

The Doctor: "Insert a Lego Dimensions joke. Gotta Go Fast!"

Soos eats them like Pac-man; wakes up in the Gift Shop.

"Alas. Twas not but a dream. (Soos lays back down on the check out counter and closes his eyes) Om. Nom. Nom. Nom. Nom. Nom. Eating my friends. Nom. Nom."

19-15-18-18-25 4-9-16-16-5-18 2-21-20 25-15-21-18 23-5-14-4-25 9-19 9-14 1-14-15-20-8-5-18 3-1-19-20-12-5. 1-19 14-15-20-5-4 18-21-13-2-12-5 13-3-19-11-9-18-13-9-19-8 6-21-12-12 14-1-13-5 9-19 18-5-22-5-1-12-5-4 20-15 2-5 18-21-13-2-12-5 6-18-1-3-1-19 13-5-12-5-5 6-9-19-20-3-21-6-6-19 19-12-1-16-6-9-7-8-20 13-3-19-11-9-18-13-9-19-8.


	11. Chapter 11

_PSplinter09: Meaning that all will be revealed for Blendin's Game...;)_

 _In this chapter; we get an adventure of miniaturization and another attempt from the Pines' so-called sworn enemy. I do not own DW or GF, all belong to their creators, cryptograms are A1 and Z26, and enjoy!_

* * *

 ** _Little Dipper_**

Gideon Gleeful, as usual, plots retribution on the Pines family or anyone who is associated with them.

"...Zombie attack? Never works, they don't take orders. Blood rain? Ew, mess up my suit, heh, no thank you. Demon Caterpillars? DRAT!...There must be a perfect way to exact vengeance on the Pines family. It's not enough to harm 'em, I need to take something from them. Something that'll give me ultimate power. Wait, of course! (Picks up his model of the Mystery Shack) It's perfect..."

Meanwhile, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan Pines are watching 'Duck-tective' on TV. The Doctor is taking a visit where the attractions are...

The doorbell rings.

Stan Pines opens the door, "Welcome to a world of mystery!"

"Stan Pines?"

"The tax collector! You found me!"

Stan throws smoke bomb at the ground to distract the lawyer, then runs inside and rips off a decoration, revealing a bag with money in it; searches the tiles of the wall. The Doctor approaches to the scene.

"Aah... uh... which one of these is the trap door?"

"If I recall, I believe it was-"

The so-called lawyer interrupts, "Mister Pines. I'm from the Winninghouse Coupon Savers contest, and YOU ARE OUR BIIIIIIG WINNER!"

A cameraman comes in along with two women holding a check for 10,000,000 Dollars.

"Heh? My one and only dream, which was to possess money, has come true!"

Dipper adds in, "We're rich! I'm gonna get a butler!"

"I'm gonna buy a talking horse!" Mabel says dreamily.

"Just sign here for the money."

Stan uses a pen. "You bet!"

Gideon rips through the check. "Ha! Stanford, you fool! You just signed over the Mystery Shack to LIL' OL' ME!" As he sings and dances.

Dipper and Mabel gasp. The Doctor stares and barely contains his laughter.

"Uh, might wanna take another look there!"

Gideon reads the phony check. "The shack is hereby signed over to... SUCK A LEMON LITTLE MAN!?"

"Ahahaha!"

Gideon rips it furiously, "How dare you!?"

Dipper and Mabel laugh even harder.

"I am not a threat to be taken lightly! (Reaches for the man) Come here hon', I need your arms."

"Hm...that explains the name; "feller of trees"..."

The fake lawyer lifts up Gideon.

"I'll get you, Stanford Pines! I'LL GET YOU ALL!"

"Life GIVES YOU Lemons, Mr Gleeful-REMEMBER THAT!" The Doctor replies humorously.

"Wanna see what else is on TV?" Stan suggests.

"Yeah, OK."

"Yeah, alright."

"Yeah."

"My favorite part's the theme song!"

* * *

Mabel and Dipper are playing chess. "Little guy to black space nine!"

"It's a pawn, that's not your color, and stop stealing the tiny horses!"

"They like it better in here. Don't you babies?"

Dipper knocks over the king. "And... checkmate!"

"What? Boo!"

"O-oh! Dipper wins again!" As he adds a tally mark to the "Dipper" side of a notebook which keeps track of wins and losses; Dipper's side has 85, Mabel's side has zero.

"Yo, Mabel? Can you pass me that brain in the jar? The lady one?"

"I got it."

Soos replies, "Thanks, but Mabel's taller."

"What? No she's not. We're the same height. We've always been."

"Better check again, dude."

Dipper and Mabel both line up to measure height.

Soos measures height with a tape measure. "Yep, she's got exactly one millimeter on you!"

"What?!"

Mabel gasps happily. "Woah, don't you see what's happening, Dipper? This millimeter is just the beginning. I'm evolving into the superior sibling! Bigger! Stronger!"

"Like some kinda alpha-twin!"

"Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!"

Dipper stutters, "C'mon, guys, nobody even uses millimeters. It only makes you taller than me in Canada."

"Y'know Dipper, I've always wanted a little brother. Who knew I already had one? Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah!"

Stan comes up, "I was awoken by the sound of mockery. Where is it? Show me the object of ridicule!"

Mabel jumps on. "I'm taller than Dipper!"

"By ONE millimeter."

"Hey, hey, don't get... short with your sister. HA!"

"Now Grunkle Stan, I hope you don't think little of him." Mabel giggles.

"Ha ha! Ya! And, and uh... he's short!"

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Soos hopes in. "Heh-Dude, maybe you should lay off a tiny bit."

"Ha! Tiny! Soos is in on it now!"

Mabel and Stan laugh together, "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Dipper leaves fuming.

"N-no, I didn't mean that."

"Dipper will forget. He's got a 3... 2... 1..."

Mabel and Stan both say jokingly, "SHORT-TERM MEMORY! Ha ha ha!"

"POW! We are on FIRE!"

Mabel and Stan high-fives

"Ow, ooh, that's, aah."

"I high-five hard."

* * *

Dipper accidentally bumps into the Doctor.

"...Whoops! Sorry Doc..." Dipper sighs.

"Dipper!" The Doctor exclaims. "Another day for paranormal adventure?"

"Well, urm...actually, I would like to find something for myself...you know, something to confirm from Journal 3?"

"No worries, my dear boy-just remember; Einstein part can be right, universal trust can be earned, worth your weight in gold-Hello!" The Doctor jokingly and randomly stated.

Dipper continued on his search from finding a certain info from Journal 3. "Ugh! Stupid Mabel! I'm not short!...There's gotta be some way to get taller...Let's see..."Legends of miniature buffalo and giant squirrels have led me to believe there are height altering properties hidden deep within the forest."

Dipper soon found what he was looking for...

"Hmm...Ooh! Ah! Ow! Agh! Aagh. (Notices tiny deer standing on his chest) Whoa. (Tiny eagle passes by) Huh? (Gasps) Is that mountain lion tiny or just far away in perspective? (Mountain lion growls and pounces) PERSPECTIVE! PERSPECTIVE! AAAAAAH! (Mountain lion leaps and is frozen in a beam of pink light, which shrinks it; Dipper laughs from being tickled; mountain lion meows and bites his finger) It still hurts, but less! (Walks over to giant crystals) Whoa. (Sees a butterfly pass through the pink light and shrink, then the blue light and grow; it knocks over a tree) What the heck?..."

After moving his excitement from this recent discovery, he cuts a crystal off with a Swiss army knife that he was borrowing as a tool from the Doctor. It had certain tiny descriptions that read: "Property of IC, found by ACE, used by 7th and 8th."

* * *

Soon enough, Dipper had took a piece of the crystal he found, and ties it in front of a flashlight. It shines blue, then Dipper rotates it so it shines pink.

"Smaller. (Makes chess piece smaller) Bigger. (Makes chess piece bigger. It breaks through the roof) TOO BIG!"

"I've been buying big clothes; I'll grow into them."

Dipper walks in front door. "Hey guys, notice anything different about me?"

Soos exclaims, "Holy hotsauce! You've grown an extra millimeter!"

"Wh-wh-what?"

Mabel gets off the chair and checks height with Dipper.

"What can I say, sis? Growth spurt."

"Yeah, mine happened first. I'm gonna be taller in the end. It's science, Dipper."

"What? But we're the same height now."

"Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!"

Dipper replies, "Oh yeah? Something tells me I've got another growth spurt comin' on right now..."

 _Soon enough..._

"Give it up, Dipper! (Sees that he is much taller than her; gasps) What happened?"

"Y'know, puberty and stuff."

"It doesn't make any sense. Just a second ago you were- WAIT A MINUTE! This is some kinda magicky thing. Isn't it? Was it a wizard or something? There's a wizard in this closet, isn't there? ISN'T THERE?" Mabel exclaims.

The Doctor came up to the room, "...Wait! Where?!"

"What? No!" Dipper replied.

"You're telling me that there is not a wizard in this closet. You're telling me that if I open this door right now-"

"Fine! Open it!"

Mabel opens door to reveal nothing. "An invisible wizard! REALLY, Dipper?"

The Doctor puts on his glasses, and quickly sets it up on his forehead. "...poor fairies, no wonder why they puke a lot..."

* * *

Stan answers and opens door, and sees Gideon. "Oy, you."

"Oh, howdy Stanford! Listen closely. Inside this jar I have 1000 Cursed Egyptian super termites. Hand over the deed to your property or I'll smash this jar with a bat, and they'll devour this shack with you inside!"

"Hey, what's that?"

Gideon turns around. "Huh?"

Stan smashes the jar of termites and they attack Gideon.

"Oh, no! Aaaah! Get it off! Awww!"

"Ha, ha, ha! Hey, Soos, get in here! I wanna take pictures of this!"

"Y'all may have won this battle, but mark my words, Stanford! Your family has a weak spot, and I'm gonna find it! Ah! My hair!"

Meanwhile back to Dipper and Mabel's room...

"Does he only respond to incantations? Excpecto wizzarium! Wizle! Wizar-"

The Doctor opens to his mouth to explain-

"It's not a wizard! I grew myself using this magic flashlight!" As Dipper proudly showed his new-found item.

"Lemme see that thing!"

Dipper runs away downstairs. "Aah!"

Mabel points to closet. "I'll be back for you later." As she runs after Dipper. "...Erm-me too..." The Doctor states.

Dipper and Mabel fight over the crystal flashlight and make a caterpillar grow larger. The caterpillar crushes a car. The Doctor is astounded.

Mabel picks up flashlight and uses it to make her hand grow bigger. "Ahh!"

"It's okay it can shrink things too." As Dipper uses flashlight to return Mabel's hand back to normal size.

"Normal hand karate chop!" Mabel hits Dipper's hand and takes the flashlight.

"Hey!"

Mabel uses the flashlight to make Dipper's head bigger.

"Oh Ah ah!" As he hits his head on one of the Shack's pillars. "Ah!" Dipper tackles Mabel and shrinks her head with the flashlight.

"Ahh!" Mabel attacks Dipper and fixes her head.

"Hey, give it back!"

"Never!"

"Children watch out!" The Doctor exclaims as he approaches to see what the fuss is about.

The flashlight flies out of their hands.

Gideon approaches to the scene, "Curse the Pines family! Curse Stan! Curse Dipper! Curse D— (The flashlight lands in front of him) My, my, what delightful manner of a dohickery is this?"

"...Maybe he didn't see us use it and doesn't know it's a magic flashlight that can grow and shrink things."

Ironically, they're standing right next to Gideon.

"Really?"

Gideon turns the flashlight on and off. "Flick, boop, woo hoo hoo."

"No no no-!"

Gideon shrinks Dipper, Mabel, and the Doctor. "Gwa ha ha ha ha!. Hee hee hee, woo hoo hoo hoo hoo!" As he out a jar over the twins with the Doctor protecting them.

* * *

Bud Gleeful is sounding airhorn to customers. "Friends, I wish I was a highway so I could have the honor of being rode upon by automobiles as fine as these ones right here. (pats a car; a hubcap falls off and possum leaps out of the hood and hisses) Engine possum at no extra charge."

Old Man McGucket exclaims, "I want that there car!"

Gideon walks by. The Doctor pounds on the jar-hopefully trying to get attention, "McGucket!"

"Say there son, what's in your jar?"

"That's my widdle secret!"

Certain people; Hank's wife, Reginald, Unnamed red cap man and other spectators exclaim, "Awww!"

Gideon giggles, walks away. "Mouth-breathin' fools... (walks inside his house to a vacuuming Mrs. Gleeful) Mother."

He enters his room and unscrews the jar containing the twins and the Doctor, spilling them out on his dresser.

"You three!"

"What are you going to do with us?" Mabel shakily replied.

Gideon laughs. "Why Mabel, I wouldn't hurt a hair on your itty-bitty head- if you agree to be my queen!"

"We live in a democracy! And never!"

"Maybe you'll change your mind after THIS!" As he picks Mabel up.

"No! I will fight you until the day I — (Sees Gummy Koalas and gasps) Gummy Koalas!"

Gideon puts her in the bag.

Mabel eats the candy.

"-PUT HER DOWN SAFELY MR GLEEFUL!" The Doctor demanded.

"...As for you, little man and boy... (Turns the table lamp into both of their faces) Tell me. How exactly did you both come upon this magic item? Hmm? Did your friend here tell you about it? Did you... READ about it somewhere?"

Dipper looks at book #3 in his jacket, and his godfather. "Lean closer and I'll tell you!"

"Well don't mind if I-"

Dipper sounds airhorn in his face.

"AAAAAAAH! (Whacks light away) Grrrrr! I COULD SQUASH YOU RIGHT NOW! Steel yourself, Gideon. (Calms down) You can use them. You can use them..."

* * *

Gideon calls Grunkle Stan. "-Have my ears always been this big? Hello?"

"Stanford Pines, listen to me very closely. I have your niece and nephew along with your friend. Hand over the deed to the Mystery Shack right now, or great harm will befall them! (Pauses) This is Gideon, by the way."

"Ha ha ha! Oh yeah, this is gonna be your worst plot yet. They're fine. I saw them playing together in the yard minutes ago."

"I have them in my possession! You don't believe me? I will text you a photo!

Stan "Text me a photo"? Now you're not even speakin' Spanish!"

"But —"

Stan hangs up.

"Hello? Hello? Arrgh!" As he throws phone at the wall and it breaks, nearly hitting the Doctor.

"OY!"

"Wait. (Laughs insanely) What am I doing? I don't need ransom! I have THIS! (Holds up flashlight) I'll shrink Stan and take the Shack for myself! (Turns to the twins) You'll be helpless to stop me. And if you step out of line, SMASH!" As he pulls the heads off of the Pines dolls and laughs evilly. The Doctor's brows furrowed.

Bud Gleeful calls out, "Gideon! The ice cream truck is here!"

"Oh! Coming! (Giggles; puts hamster down next to the twins) Guard them, Cheekums. I'm coming!"

Dipper picks up Q-tip and pokes the hamster with it.

Cheekums squeaks.

"All of us gotta get out of here and save Stan!"

"I know! (As Mabel puts Gummy Koala in her sweater's pocket) I will see you later."

"Okay, how are we going to do this. Gideon's got magic and, like, a zillion inches on us. On the bright side, at least we're finally the same height again."

Mabel is sitting on Cheekums. "Cheekums, to freedom! (Pats Cheekums) To freedom! (Pats Cheekums) Oh, you're just a big old dummy-dum!"

The Doctor looks at Gideon's hairbrush. "I might have an idea..."

Soon enough, The Doctor, Dipper and Mabel slide down a rope made of Gideon's hairs; they hide in a shoe and peek out at Gideon and Bud, who are eating ice cream; the flashlight sits on the table.

"Clean me! (Bud wipes Gideon's face with a cloth) Father, could you give widdle old me a ride to the Mystery Shack?"

"Oh, I'd love to, sugarpot, but I have a heck of a lot of cars to sell, I do! (Tickles Gideon) I do!"

Gideon laughs. "No, no, (furiously) NO, DON'T TICKLE MEEEE! NO! (Throws ice cream across the room where it hits a wall, just missing Mrs. Gleeful) NEVER! Never tickle me! What have I told you? What have I told — look at me — what have I told you?!"

"Ticklin' is no laughing matter."

Gideon pats him. "There we go."

"Do you still need a ride?"

Gideon shouts, "I'll just take the BUS!" As he knocks table over, kicks door open and leaves.

"Precious memories."

Mrs. Gleeful exclaims, "Just keep vacuuming. Just keep vacuuming..."

The Doctor rubs the bridge of his nose, "...why did he hid that journal there in all the places...poor parents..."

Dipper stated, "Come on! (He with the Doctor and Mabel go out the dog door to the parking lot) We need to get higher."

"Yeah, especially you, 'cause you're short."

"Mabel! Up there. As Dipper points at flying discount dollar, and they climb it to see Gideon and Lazy Susan at a bus stop.

Lazy Susan talks to Gideon. "What cute little thing are you off to you cute little cutie-face?"

"I'm gonna annihilate my archenemy's entire family."

Oh okay...yaaay..."

A bus drives by and Gideon enters.

"He's heading to shrink Stan!" Dipper shouts worriedly.

"Oh flying discount dollar, if only you could fly us back to the Mystery Shack..."

Dipper pulls out the given Swiss army knife. "Maybe it can."

"Bravo, Dipper! Quick cut the rope!" The Doctor exclaims.

Dipper cuts the rope freeing the discount dollar and they start flying away.

Bud sees it and spit take. "My sky high prices!"

"Yaaay!"

"Wooh hooo!"

"Geronimo!"

"Down there!" They push the wings to make the balloon fly lower, and follow the bus along the road.

Dipper and Mabel exclaim, "Yeah!"

"To the Mystery Shack!"

"Allon-Y!"

"That too!" Mabel adds in.

The balloon has crashed on the totem pole.

"We're just in time, (Dipper points to the arriving bus that Gideon is on) but how are we going to stop him? (woodpecker pecks his head) Ah shoo ah ha ah!"

Mabel sees a wire leading to the roof. "Leave that to Mabel."

The Doctor grins, "Fantastic!"

* * *

Gideon walks toward the Shack while humming. "I'm comin' for ya, Stanford!"

Mabel drops Gummy Koala in Gideon's hair. "I'm sorry, gummy friend."

Dipper adds in, "It's for the greater good."

"Ugh! One of those infernal Gummy Koalas has gotten into my perfect hair. I can't defeat Stan looking like this. (drops flashlight and walks towards a bath tub to use it as a mirror, takes out the candy from his hair and sprays on hairspray) Woo! Woowee!"

Dipper and Mabel run towards flashlight and set it up. The Doctor is ready to push the button.

"Quick, get in front and I'll re-grow you both." The Doctor exclaims.

"Okay. Wait, you're gonna grow us back to equal height right?" Dipper asks.

Mabel exclaims, "Dipper! That doesn't matter right now."

Dipper replies, "Well if it doesn't matter, why don't you just do it?"

"AWWW! Why you acting so weird! Why can't you just except that I'm a little bit taller than you?"

"Oh, I'm acting weird? You're the one who keeps calling me names and stuff."

"Oh, what? You mean like little-"

"Don't say it!"

The Doctor sees Gideon hovering over them. "KIDS!"

"Little Dipper." Gideon picks up Mabel and Dipper. "PUT THEM DOWN, OR ELSE GLEEFUL!" The Doctor angrily stated.

"Or what, little man? I dare say you would have defeated me, if it wasn't for your sibling bickering! (Kicks open the door of the Mystery Shack) The Shack is mine, Stanford Pines! "

Gideon holds out flashlight and turns it on.

Dipper and Mabel screams, "Noooo!"

Stan's fez falls to floor.

Gideon walks towards the fez and lift it up. "Well, well, Stanford it appears I finally got the best of-"

Soos is under the fez. "Oh!"

Gideon shouts, "What?!"

Soos puts his hat back on. "Alright, something's definitely different here..."

Gideon puts The Doctor, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos in a glass jar and shakes them. "Tell me where Stan is!"

"Never! you'll never find Stan: on the second door to the left down the hall. Wait, why did I say that?"

Gideon puts jar in his suit jacket. "Oh Stanford, I'm coming for ya!"

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos try to break out of the jar.

Mabel sees Gideon's picture on his school ID and sticks out tongue and blows a rasberry.

Soos sighs, "I guess I kinda Soosed that one up, didn't I?"

"It's not your fault, Soos, I'm the guy who put together that shrinking device. (To Mabel) I guess it's just you kept teasing me Mabel, like all day. What was that all about?"

Mabel gives him the notebook which keeps track of wins and losses. "I guess it's that, you're like better than me at like everything, and you always rub it in my face... Chess that was taught by Doc, checkers, ping pong. I guess I finally felt like I was winning at something for once."

"Oh man, now I feel like a big jerk."

"Don't you mean a little jerk?"

"Oh!"

Dipper and Mabel chuckle together, "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

"Alright I walked into that one. Are we cool?"

"We're cool." As she gives fist bump.

"Am I cool?" Soos holds out hand.

"You're cool, Soos."

Soos exclaims, "Yes!"

"I am glad I see what is resolved here...I used to have cousins, brothers and sisters..." The Doctor stated fondly. "In the meantime, let's stop Gideon from what he is about to do!"

* * *

Gideon comes in the mirror room, sees multiple Stans on the mirrors. "Stanford!"

"Oh hi, Gideon, I've been looking for someone to try out my new mirror maze, then again, you're an idiot. That's the end of the sentence."

Gideon puts flashlight in other suit pocket. "You come back here!"

"Try and find me, twerp! Ha, ha ha!"

The Doctor, Soos, Dipper, and Mabel stacked up in the jar.

Mabel opens the top of the jar.

"Let's get back that flashlight before Gideon gets Stan."

The Doctor, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos peek out of Gideon's pocket.

"There it is!" As Dipper points to the flashlight; they climb to Gideon's back.

"Woah! His hair's so shiny!" As Mabel approaches Gideon's hair.

Dipper pulls back Mabel. "No! Don't look directly at it!"

Soos jumps on Gideon's neck. "His neck is really squishy! Hey look, I'm making fat angels."

"Ew! Termites!" Gideon hits his back of neck, which made Soos falls off.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" The Doctor quickly grabs Soos. "Hold On!"

Gideon is still looking for Stan in the mirror maze.

Gideon sees one of Stan's reflections. "AH!" As he pulls out flashlight, shoots a beam, but it bounces around the mirrors and shrinks a moose head on the wall.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha!"

"NOW!" As he throws flashlight and breaks mirror.

"Hey! Watch the merchandise!"

Gideon breaks more mirrors.

Stan walks up to him. "You little troll! Those mirrors cost me ten, I mean twenty-five, five-hundred. Five-hundred dollars each, and you're paying for all of 'em!"

"Oh contraire. It will be you who pays!"

Mabel screams, "Grunkle Stan is doomed!"

Dipper stated, "Not completely doomed! To his armpit!"

"Uh uh."

Dipper pushes Mabel in Gideon's clothing. "Just! Uh! Come on!"

"QUICK-OPERATION TICKLE MONSTER!" The Doctor exclaims to Soos. "Oh-I remember, That is My favorite belly game!"

Stan stated, "Woah! What is that thing?!"

"Finally after all these years, after every humiliation! Your business, your family, everything will finally be mine! You have no one to protect you now! (corners Stan to wall) Prepare for the wrath of Gideon Glee- Gideon glee- oh oh oh ah oh oh ah!" Gideon falls to the ground and laughs uncontrollably.

"Eh. I don't even know how to respond to this." Stan being confused.

Gideon laughing uncontrollably; Soos, The Doctor, Dipper, and Mabel are tickling him. "Uh ey ey ey! No! No! stop it! Ha, ha, ha!"

"Look um, kid. I think this rivalry thing is getting to you. Ha, I understand. I mean, I'm a formidable foe, what can I say."

"No!" As foam starts to come out of his mouth.

"Hey now, come on, you'll get me one of these days. Maybe, you know, run your evil plan by some friends next time. Workshop it, but first get your issues in order there."

Gideon is still laughing uncontrollably. "Ha! ehh, Ha!"

Stan looks around then kicks Gideon across the floor. "Up over the carpet, there we go, around the end table, and out the door."

Dipper and Mabel with Soos and the Doctor are running on top of a rolling Gideon. "Ah, ah, ah, whoa!"

Gideon pats himself looking for flashlight. "My light!"

"You're the light of my life too, pal. (Closes door) Whoa, freak show."

The Doctor sets up flashlight. "QUICK! NOW!"

Mabel stated to Dipper. "It's okay, you can go first if you want to." But Dipper motioned her to go first. "Woah!"

The Doctor then re-grows Dipper with flash light, and Mabel measures height. "Hey, you let me keep my extra millimeter!"

"You earned it."

"Awww! Thanks! Little brothe-!"

Dipper shrugs sheepishly. "Oh, stop it."

Soos presses the flashlight and re-grows the Doctor.

The Doctor picks up the flashlight and re-grows Soos back to his size. He then picks it up, flipping it and putting it inside his coat-exclaiming, "...Might research on this further, who nose-it might be useful!"

The twins nod.

"Say, Mabel...How would you like to learn chess?"

* * *

Gideon is pacing in his house.

"Ah, son; don't you mind that Stanford Pines. You'll get your revenge one of these days."

Gideon flips chair over madly. "Nooo! It's not just about revenge. I want that shack, the physical. Buildin'."

"But why?"

"Because it holds a secret you couldn't possibly imagine!"

"Sweetie, you want some ice cream?"

"Did you pick out all the nuts?"

Bud nods and feeds Gideon ice cream.

Gideon laughs evilly, "A little more. (Bud feeds him again) Ahahahah. Uhm, that's good."

* * *

The doorbell rings, Stan opens door. "Mister Pines. I'm from the Winninghouse Coupon Savers contest, and YOU ARE OUR BIIIIIIG WINNER! (Stan closes door) I guess we'll have to give the price to our runner up winner (reading from paper) Fiddleford H. McGucket?"

"Wooh ooh ooh ey ha ha!"

"How would you like ten million dollars?!"

"It's my dream come true!" As he happily takes check and begins to eat it.

"...Cross this town off our list."

20-8-5 9-14-22-9-19-9-2-12-5 23-9-26-1-18-4 9-19 23-1-20-3-8-9-14-7. 1-19 14-15-20-5-4: 9-20 9-19 1-14 21-7-12-25 2-5-9-14-7 6-18-15-13 1-14-15-20-8-5-18 4-9-13-5-14-19-9-15-14. 20-8-5 4-15-3 19-1-25-19 9 18-5-13-5-13-2-5-18 15-6 19-1-25-9-14-7 3-12-1-18-1 8-15-14-5-25 9 23-1-19 19-8-18-21-14-11!


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Happy Thanksgiving! Which was yesterday. Meanwhile all Whovians alike would enjoy November 23rd as Dr Who first showed up on TV screens ;)_

 _I do not own DW or GF! BBC owns DW, and Disney owns GF. In this story, the Doctor encounters a familiar enemy..._

* * *

 ** _Summerween_**

Stan's car soon came crashing into a "handicap parking" sign. "Woah! Stan, almost lost it there!" The Doctor exclaims.

"Heh, Heh! Here we are, the Summerween Superstore!" Stan explains to the Pines twins with Soos.

"Wait, Summer-what?"

"Summerween!" Stan pulls out a calendar. "The people of this town love Halloween so much, they celebrate it twice a year. And wouldn't you know it, it's today!"

"Do you always carry that calendar in your pocket?"

"Yes."

Mabel adds in, "Summerween? Something about this feels unnatural."

"Very unnatural..." the Doctor replies with a wink as he takes off his fedora.

Soos jumps in. "There's free candy!"

* * *

Dipper and Mabel both squeals, "TO THE COSTUME AISLE!"

Soos presses a cackling skull. "I'd lend you a hand... but I don't seem to have any!"

Soos chuckles, "Haha, this guy tells it like it is."

An annoyed worker approaches Soos. "Sir, could you please stop pushing that?"

"Ma'am, make these heads less hilarious, and you got yourself a deal."

"Ugh..."

Stan picks up a big barrel of fake blood. "Ha ha! When the children come to my door tonight, they're gonna run away screaming from Stan Pines, Master of Fright!"

The Doctor approaches a baby, if being called out by the curious infant...

"...Why, yes! Of course, you seen me somewhere...I have variety of names...John Smith, Dr Jimmy Snakes, Houston Pines, Dale Cooper...you're smart as yourself aren't you?" The Doctor half-cooed.

Soos continues pressing the skulls and Dipper and Mabel knock over a pile of jack o' melons. The Doctor looks up and smiles at the silliness of the family he integrated himself to...

Stan is holding the leaking container of fake blood. "...Uh-oh. Think this one's leaking!"

"Have the police come and eject the Pines family from the store!"

"NOT TODAY!" Stan screams and throws the smoke bomb.

"MY EYES!"

"Whoops! Sorry!" The Doctor, right on cue, ran out with the others.

The Pines and Soos runs out with some Summerween stuff.

Mabel asks nonchalantly, "You paid for the stuff, right?"

"Of course!"

The store worker is holding a Stan Buck. "I hate Summerween."

Stan drives into an inflatable Summerween decoration, which deflates."Let's move!"

* * *

The Mystery Shack is all decorated for Summerween.

"I'm so excited!"

"We're gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy..."

"And have the biggest stomachaches ever!"

"Yeah!"

"Haha, yeah!"

Soos is dressed as a superhero. "Dude, I've never seen you guys so pumped."

"Well, back at home, me and Dipper were kind of the kings of trick-or-treating. (Shows a memory book of them in costumes) Twins in costumes, the people eat it up."

The Doctor chuckles at the Pines family memories.

"Well, you dudes better be careful out there. It's a night of ghouls and goblins. Not to mention... (turns off lights and shines flashlight in face) the Summerween Trickster!"

The Doctor raises one of his eyebrows.

"The Summer-what-what?"

"The Trickster goes door to door, so the legend goes, eating children who lack the Summerween spirit." Soos explains.

"...So he's the bloke made of licorice?..." The Doctor asks Soos suspiciously.

"Well, you don't have to worry about us." As Dipper eats piece of candy. "We've got spirit to go around. (Coughs, lights turn back on) Ugh! What is this stuff? I've never even heard of these brands. (Shows each candy as he names them) Sand Pop? Gummy chairs? Mr. Adequate-Bar?"

Mabel exclaims, "This is all cheap-o loser candy!"

"Quiet your discontent, children, lest the Trickster overhear." Soos muses.

"Your cape is caught in your fly, Soos."

"Touche..."

"Goodbye loser candy!"

The Doctor snatches one for examination. "Hm...very peculiar..."

The door bell rings.

"Trick-or-treaters! Quick! Give'em that terrible candy."

Dipper opens the door. "Happy Summerw-AHH!"

"Sup, squirt."

"Hey Dipper!"

"Robbie! Wendy! Ha ha! (Backs up into staircase) Ow... Wha-what's up, guys?"

Wendy explains, "I left my jacket here. Again."

"What's with the candy? You're goin' trick-or-treating or something?"

Dipper stutters, "Well actually I, uh —"

"Shut up, Robbie, of course he's not going trick-or-treating."

"No! Uh, yeah. (Hides the scrapbook) Trick-or-treating is for babies. (Laughs nervously) I guess."

"You should come to this party with us. Tambry's parents are out of town, and it's gonna be OFF THE CHAIN."

Robbie hands Dipper a flyer. "Not surprised you didn't hear about it."

"Hey guys, wait! Maybe I'll see you at the party.

"If you're not too busy playing dress up."

The Doctor pops his head out. "OH! You mean a Comic Con?"

Wendy elbows Robbie. "It's at 9! Don't forget!"

Dipper sighs. "How am I gonna tell Mabel?"

"Oh, don't fret Dipper. Besides, it's S&P not approved...never played Spin the Bottle before?" _(A/N: Looking at you, Censors! XD)_

* * *

Wolf howls in the distance. Mabel is in the lobby, dressed as strawberry jelly. Candy and Grenda are also here, dressed as a taffy and witch, respectively.

"Grunkle Stan, these are my best friends, Candy and Grenda."

"I am so sweet I could eat myself."

"Hello, Mr. Pines!"

Stan is dressed as a vampire. "You got a cold, honey? Something wrong with your voice there?"

Grenda questions, "What do you mean? Why would you say that?"

Stan waves his cape and walks away.

Candy asks. "Is Waddles coming with us?"

"I wish he could, but he has some very important meetings to attend!"

Waddles walks in with a suit attacked to his chest. He runs up to Mabel.

"File these documents under 'I', for "I have a curly tail!"

Grenda and Candy laughs. "What about your brother?"

"Oh man guys, just wait until you see Dipper's costume! It's amazing! Here he comes now!"

Dipper walks down the stairs dressed normally, with the Doctor looking at his screwdriver's readings over supposedly loser candy.

"That is a very good Dipper costume."

"What the hey-hey bro-bro, where's your costume?"

Dipper Look, I can't go trick-or-treating. I'm... uh, really sick. (Fake coughs) Must have been that bad candy. (Falls on floor) Go on without me."

"Fight through it, man! Where's your Summerween spirit?!"

Someone knocks on the door. The Doctor opens it.

A giant monstrosity that resembles as a scarecrow answers, "Trick-Or-Treat."

"...OK-ay, Tim Burton would be impressed." The Doctor quickly shuts the door.

"...But wait, I —"

"Doc! Why'd you close the door?"

The Doctor is hold the door if he is expecting a threat. BAM! went the door. "...IT'S A LONG STORY!"

"Anyways, I told you, Mabel, I'm just not feeling it tonight." Dipper explains.

"I think a little trick-or-treating will make you feel better."

"I'm not trick-or-treating!"

Suddenly, the door is forcefully whacked open with one of the monster's hands. "ARGH! JOHNNY GO AWAY!" The Doctor shouts out.

Dipper freaks out. "Look man, just go to another house!"

"Dipper! Where's your Summerween hospitality?...I apologize for my brother, he came down with a case of the grumpy-grumps." Mabel smiles as usual.

The invading monster shouts out, "SILENCE! You have insulted me! For this you must pay... with your LIVES."

"Aww, what a cute little mask! You're a funny guy, aren't you?"

"...Funny, am I?!"

A kid passes by. "Twik-owr-tweet! My name is Gorney."

It grabs and eats Gorney.

"...Remember meeee!"

Dipper, Mabel, Candy and Grenda scream.

"Gorney! So that's what happened to poor rebellious Jeffy, Byrone, and Rosie!" The Doctor stated as he shielded the children in a protective stance.

The Summerween Trickster happily brought their attention. "...There's only one way for you to avoid his fate." As he pokes Candy on the head, Candy clutches Dipper in fright. The Doctor narrows his eyes.

"I need a treat. If you can collect 500 pieces of candy, and bring it to me before the last jack-o-melon goes out... (Blows out jack-o-melon) I MIGHT let you live."

"Might?..." The Doctor questions.

"Five hundred treats in one night? That's impossible!"

"The choice is yours, children. You must trick-or-treat... Or DIE. Bwahahaha." As he crawls across the Shack's roof and out of sight.

"Oh my gosh Mabel, do you realize what this means?"

"I do. It means you have to come trick-or-treating! Yay!"

Candy questions. "Who was that guy?"

"It's the legend Soos told us about. It's true!"

The Doctor adds in. "...A very thing that I thought to be gone...seems that I'm wrong."

Grenda shaking Dipper. "What do we do what do we DO!"

Soos approaches the scene. "What's goin' on out here, dudes? I heard a ruckus. Hehe. That's a funny word. Ruckus."

"Soos, a monster is making us trick-or-treat or else he's gonna eat us!"

"I got a picture!" Candy shows Soos a picture she took on her phone; the picture has a pink and fluffy outline, stickers, and a Korean word.

"The Summerween Trickster! Oh man, dude, you guys are in crazy bonkers trouble."

"How are we gonna get that much candy in one night? There's no way!"

Mabel claps. "Listen up, people. Now some might say that being cursed by a blood-thirsty holiday monster is a bad thing."

"I wet myself."

Mabel continues, "But that monster messed with the wrong crew. With Candy's spirit, Grenda's strength, Dipper's brains, Doc's supervision, and... Soos here, we'll get 500 pieces of candy and have fun doing it too, even if it takes all night!"

Soos, Candy and Grenda cheer. The Doctor chuckles.

"To the streets!"

"All night? But-but I'm sick, remember?"

"Dipper, what's worse: getting eaten by a horrifying monster, or coming trick-or-treating with us?"

"Well.."

"Come on!"

* * *

"...I don't understand why we can't just buy our candy and be done with it." Dipper stated.

Mabel replies. "That sorta takes the fun out of trick-or-treat-or-die."

"I'm trying to take the DIE out of trick-or-treat-or-die."

"...I wonder if Jamie Dodgers or Jelly babies might suffice." The Doctor wonders while turning on his fedora into Wild Hickok's western outfit with a Stetson. "...wore these hats when I was very young, and given by Twain and Craig..."

Altogether, they a ring door bell. Lazy Susan answers it.

Dipper, Mabel, Candy, Grenda and Soos exclaim, "Trick-or-treat!"

"Is everyone in costume? (looks at Grenda) Chimney sweep, (looks at Soos) elephant man, (looks at Candy) squeegee, (looks at Mabel) ant farm!, (looks at the Doctor) dandy-cowboy!, (looks at Dipper) Oh and what are you supposed to be?

"Uh, actually, I'm not dressed up as anything. We're, we're kinda in a hurry, here."

"Oh. I see. Enjoy!"

"One piece of black licorice?"

"Circus peanut! This is a loser candy."

"Five pieces of candy?! This is gonna take forever!"

Mabel encourages him. "We've gotta up our game, Dipper. You gotta put on your costume."

"I told you, I'm not up to it, Mabel!"

"Oh, really?"

The Summerween Trickster limbs down onto Soos, picks up a piece of candy out of Soos' bag. "I've seen better..." He approaches and stares at the Doctor, flipping a coin. "Tick tock."

As he blows a candle out and jumps behind a house.

"So what was that about being too sick to wear a costume?"

Dipper sighs and kicks a rock.

"...Lose candy...why does it attract him all of sudden?..." The Doctor mutters.

* * *

"Introducing, for the first time in public..."

Dipper walks out in his costume, a jar of peanut butter. "TADAH! Peanut Butter and Jelly!"

"Awwwww!"

"Twin costumes are back again" The Doctor stated enthusiastically.

Candy takes out her phone. "I will make you internet famous."

"Hey! None of that! Let's just get this over with, okay?"

"Over with! Over with!" Everyone agreeing each other.

Dipper rings doorbell. "Do you really think this will make a difference?"

Dipper and Mabel start dancing. The Doctor states, "Introducing...Hat a ta tah, Tah tah ta... TWIIIIINS!"

The biker who answered his door tears up and dumps the entire candy bowl in their bag. Mabel and Dipper smile.

"Let's get that candy, guys!"

"34, 35..."

"36. You see? Because —"

"Yeah, I get it. (More trick-or-treating) 22, 23, 24. A hundred and twenty-four!"

People start blowing out jack-o-melons.

"C'mon, c'mon!"

More doorbell ringing.

Toby Determined answers his door. "Hello!"

"What a horrible mask!"

"That's just my face. This is a mask. (Puts on monster mask) Roar!"

"Oh, yeah. That's actually better."

Toby sighs.

More doorbell ringing.

"...498, 499. We did it! (The group and the Doctor cheers) All we need is one more piece of candy."

"And it's only 8:30. Perfect timing!"

Mabel hugs Dipper. "Mwah! And your cough went away too!"

"Dude, I'm gonna go around and grab the truck. Soos, away!" Soos runs off.

"Don't forget where to find us!" The Doctor exclaims.

"Last one to the last house is a pair of wax lips!"

"Not me! Nooo!"

"The perfect time to go to Wendy's party, and no one needs to know I was trick-or-treating!" Dipper stated to his godfather.

The Doctor raises his eyebrows.

Robbie's van pulls up. Dipper panics, quickly takes his costume off, and gives the wheelbarrow filled with bags of candies to the Doctor.

Wendy exclaims. "Hey Dipper!"

"Oh hey, Wendy. What's up?" Nudges part of his costume into the bush.

"Are you comin' to the party?"

"What are you doing out here?"

"Oh, um. Haha, I'm on my way with my godfather. I like watching the trick-or-treaters. Reminds me of when I was a kid."

"Ok, then. You both coming, right?"

"Definitely, definitely."

"Cool. See you there"

"Later, guys."

"You're going to a party?" The Doctor whistles.

Dipper tries to explain. "Well, hey, I —"

Mabel throws the last piece of candy at him. "That's why you were acting so weird and trying to hurry us! You're not sick at all! So if it wasn't for this crazy monster, you were gonna ditch me! On our favorite holiday!"

The Doctor exclaims, "..oh dear, was that true?"

"What happened to the Dipper who used to love Halloween?!"

"All the jack-o-melons are out!" Grenda interrupts.

"Look!" Dipper points down the road where the last jack-o-melon is still lit.

Old Man McGucket is about to blow it out. "Ehehe! Good night!"

"Fiddleford! Don't don't don't!" The Doctor stated.

"Eh? What's happening?"

Dipper adds in. "Just don't blow out that candle! We're kinda afraid what comes next!"

Old Man McGucket pulls out a horn to his ear. "What?"

"Don't blow out that candle!"

"I'm Old Man McGucket!" He beats.

The Doctor warns him. "Just RUN!" as McGucket blows the candle out. Suddenly, he widens his eyes and went running off after realizing what he meant...

"Uh oh."

The demanding monster walks up, with a recorder playing creepy noir version of _The Candy Man Can_ song, before crushing it. "...The Earth Says Hello! So children...Where's my candy?"

"We have all 500 pieces. Look, you can have it!"

"I'm afraid I SAID, I MIGHT LET you live..."

The group tires to run around him, who follows them. Candy and Grenda screams as it grabs them. Mabel trips and is grabbed too.

"Ahhh! Dipper!"

Dipper is too captured. "Mabel!"

The Doctor stomps his foot down, bringing the insane creature's attention. He states nonchalantly, lifting his Stetson, "Figured that might happen...after all...It IS you! Kandyman the Pimple-Head!" As he points at him.

"OF Course, Doctor...we meet again! THE Past can be quite Tiresome...well THEN. Heads or Tails?!" As he flips his dreaded coin.

"Heads!" Dipper interrupts in a desperate move to try to save his twin sister and his new-found friends.

"...I am quite disappointed in your new friends, Doctor-as they are just pesky children who hate sweets all the same! THAT-WOULD BE TELLING!" As he tries to lunge at the Doctor.

"NOT SO FAST, MR TWO-FACED CHIGURH!"

The Doctor quickly throws the scanned loser thick candy with all his strength at the tipping wheelbarrow-causing the monstrous Kandyman to trip.

Dipper, Candy, Mabel, and Grenda scream.

Soos soon crashes into fallen wheelbarrow into the Kandyman, causing it to explode; the kids go flying.

"RUN!"

"We're alive! Yeah!"

Soos stops his truck. "Woah!"

"Soos!"

"That wasn't like, a regular pedestrian, was it?"

"It was the monster!"

"Thanks, Soos. Phew. I'm just glad it's over, right?"

Mabel glares at him.

"Did everyone remember to put on their seatbelts?"

"Yes!"

Mabel nods.

"Let's go!"

Mabel rubs her bruised elbow.

"Hey, are you okay? (Mabel turns away) There's probably some bandages back at the Shack." Dipper tells Mabel.

Mabel looking outside. "Uh, guys?!"

"Drive!" The Doctor shouted.

The Kandyman reforms with the collected candy and growls, jumping onto the back of the truck; group screams and the truck swerves; it falls off and hits a telephone pole.

Dipper pulling on Soos' cape. "Breaks! Breaks! Breaks!" The truck crashes into the Summerween Superstore.

Mabel coughs and gasps after she sees the monster.

"We have to hide!"

The grown Kandyman growls and tears off the truck's door.

Dipper, Mabel, Candy and Grenda are hiding in the shelves. "It's blocking the only exit. Everyone, stay quiet!"

"Oh, so now you're worried about the monster. I thought all you cared about was Wendy."

"Mabel, you know that's not true. I just felt like I was getting a little to old to go trick-or-treating."

"That's exactly why we need to go trick-or-treating, Dipper! We're getting older, there's not that many Halloweens left! I guess I didn't realize it was already our last one."

The Kandyman roars.

Candy whispers. "We have to escape."

"What if it sees us?"

Soos is hiding in the costume rack. "If only there was something we could use to cover our bodies and faces with. You know, like a disguise of some kind."

Dipper and Mabel look at each other. The group is hiding from the trickster in costumes. They are heading towards the exit. The Doctor motions them to go quickly.

"This way! Almost there! (Dipper turns around) Soos!"

Soos is standing in front of the cackling heads.

"Stop!"

"Soos, don't you dare!"

"Sorry dude, today's been way too stressful. I need some levity." Presses the skull, nothing happens.

"Oh thank goodness. It was out of batteries. (Mabel turns around) Soos, no!"

Soos struggling to open a package of Bat-eries. He puts them in and presses the head.

Skull: "No matter the score, I'm always a-head! Nyaha nyaha."

"Hahaha! Soos slaps his leg. "This cackling head's the voice of a generation!" The Kandyman comes up behind him and opens its mouth; Soos presses the head again; the monster eats Soos. The Doctor groans.

"Hey monster!"

The group pulls out toy weapons and starts attacking the Kandyman.

Grenda chops off one of his arms "Salt water taffy? Gross!"

Dipper hacks at a leg. "What are you—? (Tastes a piece) Wait, it is-"

The Kandyman roars, "You really haven't figured it out yet? (Picks all the kids up) Don't you recognize it!? Look at my face! Look closely." As he pulls the mask off.

Dipper and Mabel scream.

The Doctor exclaims, "Loser candy!"

"That's right! THINK ABOUT IT! Did you ever stop and think about the candy at the bottom of the bag that no one likes? Every year the children of Gravity Falls throw away all of the 'REJECTED' candy into the dump. Thanks to it; I SURVIVED from a certain spider after crashing-landing here, and contained myself with vengeance on the picky children who cast the unwanted candy aside. I'm made of every tossed piece of black licorice, every discarded bar of old chocolate with like that white, powder stuff on it. You know that stuff!"

"I hate that stuff!"

"No one shall be alive from my wrath, including you DOCTOR! Now, I'm going to eat you-I ALWAYS Relish the smiles on dead people's faces! (Hears something) What is that?-ARGH!"

Soos rips through its chest, screaming, "Sup, bro!?"

Kandyman falls to the ground vomiting jelly beans. The Doctor uses his sonic to open collapsed cans of lemonade and strawberry additives. It made the Kandyman stick permanently on the ground...and made the Kandyman's body somewhat smell good too.

Soos then eats the Kandyman. "Dudes, you want some of this?"

Dipper, Mabel, Candy, and Grenda shake their heads.

The dying Kandyman then whispers, "...Wait, you actually think I taste good?"

Soos replies, "Uh, sure! You know."

"...-All I've ever wanted is for someone to say that I was... good. (Cries candy corn) I'm so happy!"

The Doctor scratches his head.

"Crying makes it a little weird, but, (Soos takes another bite) guess I'm still eating."

Gorny breaks through the candy monster's chest.

"'Sup, Gorny?"

"I've been twaumatized!"

* * *

Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Candy, and Grenda with the Doctor return to the Mystery Shack.

"Hey, Stan!"

"Hi, Grunkle Stan!"

Soos, Candy, and Grenda adds in, "Hello, Mr. Pines!"

Stan replies, "How's it hangin'."

Wendy comes up, "Hey Dipper."

"Wendy!"

"I didn't see you or Doc at the party. Where were you?"

"Uh.. I-uh.. I was trick-o-treating. With my sister and awesome godfather. " As puts his arm around Mabel's shoulder.

"Yeah."

Wendy replies, "The party was lame anyway. Robbie ate a lollipop stick-first and had to go home sick."

The Doctor grimaces funnily.

"Aw, man. We went to every single house, and we didn't even get to eat any candy!"

"Candy? How's that for candy?" Stan holds up certain kids' bags.

Dipper and Mabel grin at each other.

* * *

Everyone is watching TV, eating the candies. Dipper comes to Mabel and attaches a bandage on Mabel's sore arm. Waddles munches the candy in his bowl.

"You know, kids? I've been thinkin'. At the end of the day, Summerween isn't about candy or costumes. Or even scaring people. It's a day when the whole family can get together at one place and celebrate what really matters: PURE EVIL! HAHAHAHAHA!" Stan laughs.

Everyone, save for the Doctor who cringes, laughs maniacally and then stops abruptly. There is a pause.

Soos states, "I ate a man alive tonight."

"Netflix allows swearing." The Doctor adds in.

Everyone stares at both at the Doctor and Soos.

Soon, Mabel, Grenda and Candy are taking pictures of Waddles with his business man outfit. Then the song "9 to 5" plays, as the screen shows some meme styled pictures of Waddles. Ends with the cracking skull's voice.

2-18-15-21-7-8-20 20-15 25-15-21 2-25 8-15-13-5-23-15-18-11 20-8-5 3-1-14-4-25. 1-19 14-15-20-5-4: 19-20-1-14 4-1-20-5-4 3-1-18-12-1, 2-5-1-20-18-9-3-5, 13-1-18-9-12-25-14, 1-14-4 12-1-26-25 19-21-19-1-14. 14-15 16-12-1-3-5 6-15-18 12-15-19-5-18 3-1-14-4-25. 9 2-5-12-9-5-22-5 9-14 19-21-7-1-18-25 19-23-5-5-20-19.


	13. Chapter 13

**_Boss Mabel_**

The Pines Family of Dipper, Mabel, and Stan with their pet pig, Waddles are watching Cash Wheel. The Doctor is in a certain blue ominous attraction, using the phone...

Mabel and Waddles are eating Chipackerz.

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, we now return to Cash Wheel! Sponsored by Chipackerz, the chip flavored crackers!"_

"But they taste just like chips!" Mabel exclaims as she ate one cracker.

Contestant spins the wheel and lands on "cash shower."

 _"Congratulations! You're taking a..."_

Stan Pines TV Announcer both exclaim, " _Cash shower!_ "

Money starts falling down on the man in the middle. When the other two contestants try to take some money, he slaps and punches them away.

Stan laughs, "I like that guy's style!"

Soos runs in. "Mr. Pines! We got tourists at 9 o'clock! A whole busload of 'em! But they just broke down!"

A certain bus pulls up and certain familiar people start to get out. They enter the Mystery Shack.

"...is this the place for buying those _killer_ fezzes?"

A kid named Oliver sees one of the taxidermy attractions. "...Huh, short-brief, excellent...and furry..."

"...I can play a harmonica with my nose...

"...About that, I can cross my eyes very crazily!...

"...I love karate, and do a little of soccer!"

"...I can wiggle my ears..."

 _A/N: Check out Disney XD GF's Lost Interviews of LR and MM, KB, GGTPME, LM, and KCU! ;)_

"Hot tamales, it's a jackpot! Soos! Make some new attractions!" Stan shouts.

"You got it, boss!" Soos glues a wolf head onto a chicken.

"Wendy! Mark up those prices! The higher the better!"

Wendy Corduroy quickly puts a 0 behind a $2 price tag, making it $20.

"Higher! Bleed 'em dry!"

She then puts another 0 making it $200.

"Eesh, Grunkle Stan. It's like when you see tourists, all you see are wallets with legs." Dipper commented.

"That's not true." Stan replied nonchalantly with business-like tone. He looks out the window randomly and sees a kid telling a certain small purple-colored friend to stay on the bus...

The Doctor comes out of the blue box attraction, locks it, and hangs a sign: OUT OF ORDER.

* * *

"Ladies and gentle-tourists! Looking around my Mystery Shack, you will see many wondrous roadside attractions. Be amazed at the only known photo of a horse riding another horse! (Points to a picture of a horse riding another horse, and many tourists take pictures and mutter, interested) That's-That's pretty good! (Tourists take pictures) Be astounded at the horrible, pre-teen wolf boy! (Pulls a curtain revealing Dipper with hair glued to his legs and fake wolf ears and teeth) Oh! Oh, look at him! All that hair! His body's changing, ah!"

Dipper takes off his fake wolf teeth. "Grunkle Stan, this is demeaning."

"What? I don't know "de meaning" of that word! (He and the tourists laugh at his joke.) If you throw money at him, he dances."

The tourists cheer and begin to throw money at Dipper, and he makes an attempt to dance. Stan catches money with a jar.

"Ha ha ha! Ooh! Thank you!"

Meanwhile, Mabel is "selling" bumper stickers in the gift shop with the Doctor, who is having a brief familiar friendly talk with the broken-down bus tourists...

"Behold! Mystery Shack bumper stickers! You can stick 'em on your bumper, or over your husband's mouth. Am I right, ladies? She knows what I'm talking about!"

"Oh! You are bad! How much?"

Mabel giggles, "Hey, it's on the house. That's the Mabel difference! Thanks for visiting!"

"What!?" Stan appears behind a cardboard cutout of himself. "What the heck do you think you're doing?!"

Mabel replies, "Business! Ching ching ching!" Presses buttons on the cash register.

"Listen, kid. You don't make money by giving stuff away. You're off of register duty!"

"But, but-"

"No buts except for yours out the door. Now shut your yap and get to work! Now Over Here, I Present To You The Blue Box Of the Future-!"

"Grunkle Stan, whatever happened to "please" and "thank you"? Hmm? Oh wait. Here they are! (As Mabel interrupts and takes out a bag of stickers and puts two stickers that say "Please" and "Thank you" on Stan's face") Wop wop!"

"Ugh. "Please" never made me any money, kid. (Puts the "Please" sticker on the back of the cash register) In fact, just saying the word is giving me a burning sensation."

Stan slaps the "Thank you" sticker on The Doctor's back as he comes by with Soos with a repair kit. They both finished helping out the tourists to fix their bus which they continued on their way...

"Never jinx on that, dear Stan-no need to be thanked..." The Doctor grins.

Soon, Dipper comes in.

"Grunkle Stan, why do I have to wear this wolf costume? I think I'm getting hookworm."

Stan laughs, "Yep. Gluing dog hair to your body will do that."

The Doctor looks over Dipper, "...You'll be fine...as long you're not allergic...hopefully Stan wouldn't offer this silly job to someone else..."

"You've got all these dumb, fake exhibits in the Shack. Meanwhile, I've seen actual, amazing things in the forest every day! What if you hunted down a real attraction instead of lying to people for a living?"

"And you should be nicer to your employees, too!" Mabel adds in.

"Yeah!" Dipper high fives Mabel. The Doctor chuckles, "...Wouldn't be a bad idea..."

"Look, you guys got a problem with how I run the Shack, take it up with the complaints department. (holds up a trash can.) Zing!" Stan stated.

"I am going to write them such a letter!" Mabel replied jokingly.

* * *

Mabel, Dipper, Wendy, and Soos are painting the Mystery Shack sign a glittery pink.

"...And don't stop 'till you've covered that sign with glitter! Glittery signs attract tourists! Also large birds." Stan shouted.

A bald eagle attacks Soos and he tries to run away from it. The Doctor quickly tells it to shoo away.

"Ha ha! That's funny, Jimmy!"

"Okay, is it just me, or is having Grunkle Stan as a boss seriously the worst?"

Wendy adds in, "I know, right? Why do we even put up with it?"

"I gave him a suggestion to improve the Shack once. I had this idea where I could be, like, the Mystery Shack mascot: Questiony the Question Mark. I ask people questions, you know. Do the question dance."

"That sounds amazing!"

"Oh, cool!"

"Yeah, totally!"

"Yeah, well...Stan said I couldn't handle it."

"He said what!?"

The Doctor whistles, "...Well then again, as long it pays to stay low profile, it kinda works and sounds sense if you think about..." The Doctor trails off wistfully.

* * *

Stan is saying goodbye to the tourists outside of the Shack.

"And remember, folks! We put the "fun" in "no refunds!" (Walking back into the Shack) Ha ha. Suckers."

"You!"

"Ah!"

Mabel stated, "Grunkle Stan, you've gone too far this time! (Following him into his office) Did you seriously tell Soos not to follow his hopes and dreams because he "couldn't handle it?"

Stan scoffs, "Look; Jimmy-Doc, kid, let me break it down for you. Being a boss is about commanding respect. If you give people everything they ask for, they'll walk all over ya."

"...-I know! And?" The Doctor stated fondly.

Mabel jumps in, "We're willing to bet that you'd make way more money being nice then being a big grumpy grump to everyone all the time."

"Ha! You think you know more about business than I do? You think you could wear this hat?" Stan replied.

"UM-No! Let's have this out once and for all!" The Doctor said.

"Yeah! 'Cause I like give people respect! And glittery stickers!" As Mabel stamps a pink star sticker on her left cheek.

"Ha! I'd make more money on vacation then you would, running this place!" Stan chuckles.

"Then why don't you go on vacation?" Mabel deadpanned.

"Interesting...All right, I'm a wagering man. 3 days. 72 hours. (Sets an alarm for 72 hours) You kids and Doc Jim run the Shack, and I'll go on vacation. If you make more money than me, I guess it means you're right about the way I run my business. BUT if you lose, you, uh... (writes "LOSER" in marker on a white T-shirt) You have to wear this "LOSER" shirt all summer!" Stan bargained.

"Fine. But if I win I get to be the boss for the rest of the summer! Plus, you gotta sing an apology song with lyrics by me!" Mabel shot back.

"Whoa ho! You got yourself a deal, Missy!"

"No, you got yourself a deal!"

"Deal!"

"Deal!"

Both Stan and Mabel slams their fists on the desk. "Deal!"

The Doctor then funnily stuck stickers both on the warring Pines' noses (Mabel with a star, Stan with a 'Pac-Man'). "Let the hungry games began!"

* * *

Stan began loading things onto the trunk of the Stanmobile.

"Jim!-Remember to look after That! See you in 72 hours! We'll see who makes more money." Stan throws his fez on Mabel's head and drives away, laughing.

Dipper comes out. "Did you just make a bet with a professional con man?"

"Oh, come on. Being a better boss than Stan will be a cinch. Profit, here we come!" As she holds up a jar, then drops it and it breaks.

"You broke the jar."

The Doctor chuckles.

"We'll get a new one."

"I guess I shouldn't be too worried. I mean, how much money could Stan even make on vacation?"

 _"Can I help you, sir?"_

 _"I'm here to take all the cash from your wheel."_

* * *

"You wanted to see us, Mr. Pines?"

Mabel turns around in chair and scoots toward them. "Stan is no longer with us."

"He's dead? No! It should have been me!"

"Whoa, Soos! Stan's not dead! He's on vacation for 3 days. We made a bet."

"Thank you for that clarification." Soos sighed with relief.

"Mabel's in charge now!"

"Are those... shoulder pads?" Dipper questioned.

"Uh huuuuuuh! (As Mabel shakes shoulder pads up and down) It's just one of the up-to-date managerial tricks I learned from this book I found propping up the kitchen table." As she holds up Succeeding In Management 1983; Drinks out of a mug that says "#2 boss".

"Why does your mug say "#2"?

"Because the real #1... is you!"

Dipper, Soos and Wendy laugh, being pleased.

"Morale!"

"Walk with me. With me as boss you're gonna notice a few changes around here. My job is to help you be your best "SELVES." Satisfied, Everyday, Loving Life, Very Much, Everyday, Satisfied. Great listening ears so far! (Stamps a thumbs up sticker on each of them) Waddles, hold my calls!"

Waddles grabs the phone with his mouth. Mabel, Dipper, Wendy and Soos arrive at the gift shop, and Mabel pulls up a chair.

"Alright, people, now rap with me. Wendy, how can I make your work space more Wendy-friendly?"

"Hmm, well, Stan never lets me hang out with friends at work."

"Stan ain't here, sister! Door's open!"

"Sweet!"

"And Soos, I believe this is yours. As she pulls out a Questiony the Question Mark costume from a cabinet.

"Questiony the Question Mark!? I wish this was an exclamation point to show how excited I am!"

The Doctor comes out of a certain attraction errand...

"Just remember to put something warm on, OK?"

"As for you Dipper... (Mabel holds up Dipper's wolf costume and tosses it in a shredder) Die, wolf costume, die! I want you to head into the woods, and don't come back until you found an amazing attraction!"

"Finally! It's time to show Stan how a REAL mystery hunter does it! Doc, let's go! (Runs off, grabs a flail and opens the window) Dipper out!" The flail's weight causes him to fall of the window.

"Okay, guys! It's time to prove that nice bosses finish first. In the next forty-eight hours, we're gonna fill this jar with six hundred billion dollars!" As she draws a line on the jar. The Doctor smirked.

Soos and Mabel exclaim together. "Yeah!"

"Wait. Do you know how money works?"

"Of course. Waddles, run down to the shop and grab me a latte. (gives Waddles a bill and he eats it) Whoa! (gives him another bill and he eats it again) He's a hungry little guy."

* * *

"Whoa, yeah! Come on, girls! Shoulder pads! Make that money! Mabel's the boss now! Walk in, girls! Show them boys! Make that money! Ooooooo, ooooooo, oooo, oooo, ooooo, ooooooooo!"

"Top marks! Top marks! Top marks! (Mabel went spinning around in her chair) Boss boss boss boss boss! (Later, Mabel puts up a poster of an Eagle and underneath it are the words "Leadership." However, Mabel has taped a picture of her face on top of the eagle's) It's beautiful..."

Tourists are seen exiting and dropping money into Mabel's jar.

"Thank you! Ha ha! See you soon! Tell 'em Mabel sent you!" As she looks happily at the money in the jar.

Dipper comes up with a large moving bag with the Doctor from a recent exploring. "Mabel! I captured something! This is gonna blow those tourists away! Ha ha!"

The creature inside the bag grabs Dipper's arm, and Dipper punches it repeatably, and the creature lets go.

"Marvelous work, valued employee! (gasps) Who's that? Is it Questiony the Question Mark?"

"Uh, I'm starting to have second thoughts about this, Mabel. I keep forgetting my lines. And this costume is more um... (steps out from behind the porta-potty, showing he only has his foam Question mark and underwear on) revealing than I expected?"

"Of course, quick-try to improvise!"

"But I don't know what that means." Soos stated.

Mabel enters The Mystery Shack, "How's my favorite Wendy?"

A wrench falls on the ground, and Mabel looks up to see Lee, Nate, Tambry, Thompson, and Wendy with the Doctor and Dipper are containing a certain creature in a cage.

"-I thought we are just looking for non-living things! This one ought be more difficult than imagined!" The Doctor stated as he devised a plan to get everyone safe.

"Ladies and Gentlemen-huff! My name's Honest Dipper, and unlike my cheating uncle, I have something to show you that isn't a hoax! It nearly killed me getting him into that cage, behold, part gremlin, part goblin, the Gremloblin!"

The Gremloblin is growling and pulling on the cage bars; Roars more and spits out a human skeleton arm.

Lee shouts, "Man, Doc! It's scary!"

'It's fake, dude. You can see the strings.' Tambry messaged as usual by the sidelines.

"What!? Those aren't strings, that's body hair!" Dipper replied after seeing Tambry's phone. "It is amazing, right? I work for tips."

The Doctor quickly pulls his sonic and scanned the creature, "...Uh-Oh, readings are hostile!"

"Well, I just made this go insane. How about you?"

"I'm so bit tired. Maybe good o'l Mabel Juice might help me out!'

"Well, maybe you need to start being a little bit tougher around here." Dipper suggested.

"No way, that's what Stan would do! I just need to think positive, be friendly, and everything will work out fine."

Gremloblin roars which it breaks through the cage and wall. Certain tourists scream and are lead out of the shack by the Doctor with Wendy and her friends. "Quick! Get yourselves also out of here! Here's the signatures for completing your high school community services' hours!"

"WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED!?"

"It suddenly broke out! Nate and Thompson had ideas of "cooling it down", for goodness sake-it is going to be larger than a Zarbi!"

Dipper quickly told Mabel, "We've got to round him up. Where's Soos?"

"He was stressed out so I told him to take a soothing nature walk."

Soos is somewhat outside somewhere in the woods. "Hello? Civilization? (Thunder booms and a wolf howls) Doggy?" Suddenly, a certain sound of whooshing appears...

* * *

Suddenly, Dipper and Mabel see the television playing "Cash Wheel."

 _"Ladies and Gentlemen, Stan Pines is poised to become our grand champion! Anything to say to your fans out there?"_

 _"See you tomorrow night, Mabel!"_ As Stan holds up the "Loser" shirt.

"KIDS, WATCH OUT!"

The Gremloblin roars and throws a Mayan calendar inches away from where Dipper and Mabel are. Mabel and Dipper run past and hide in the living room. The Gremloblin starts putting stickers on his face.

"What do we do? He's awarding himself stickers that he didn't even earn!"

"Uh, got it! When fighting a gremloblin, use water..."

Mabel runs up and splashes a cup of water in the creature's face and he roars. "NO! NO! Not "Cooling Down thing"! It doesn't work!" The Doctor shouts.

"..only as a last resort as water will make him much much scarier! AH! Who writes sentences like that!?"

"...Supposedly, an old friend!" the Doctor shouts and grabs Mabel's hand and ran for cover.

Gremloblin roars and grows spines. Cuckoo Clock chimes and he breathes fire on it.

"Don't worry, he's gotta leave eventually!"

"Not yet-but I think I might have an idea..."

* * *

 _"I'm the singin' salmon spendin' all day jammin'. (Gremloblin presses the button again) I'm the singin' salmon spendin' all day jammin."_

The amused Gremloblin presses the button and the fish repeats it again.

"Ughh, seriously Doc? Can't he just leave?"

"Not worry...you see, that's the bait...I'll lure him out here, Dipper-remember: use the mirror..."

"...wait...NO, Doctor! Don't Do IT!"

Mabel was shaken by the Doctor's determination.

The Doctor runs around, and saying, "OY YOU! LOOK AT ME-I'M A TARGET!"

Gremloblin angrily looks at him and grabs him up. Mabel screams.

"Don't look into his evil eye; you'll see your worst nightmare!"

Mabel replied, "I wish we had an evil eye to show him! (stared at the creatures' eyes) Oh no! Ahh..."

"Not clearly as dear Fluttershy or Ace and Manhunter but-" The Doctor has a staring contest with the Gremloblin.

"No. NO! I WILL NOT! NO!...We Are Not Dealing With Reality!...sits inside your head, lives among the dead, sees you in your bed, and eats you when you're sleeping...I Have Gone Too Far!...Dreams, disillusions, and cheap tricks...Of course-who else...Walton, Tepesh, and Townsend...come on-so much memories, feast on them!...Corduroy, we'll meet again..."

The Doctor then turns to Dipper. "Well, to be fair, they forgot all the best jokes!"

The Gremlobin was being stunned by the Doctor's mind, its mouth was open-eyes that are almost dead...

"Now, Dipper!" The Doctor quickly hops out of its arms.

"Hey, monster! Take a look at this!" Dipper shows the Gremloblin a mirror.

Gremloblin suddenly imagines himself looking in a mirror wearing glasses; in the nightmare. _You've become your father._

It screams, breaks through the wall and runs away.

"Well at least he didn't do that much damage."

It grew wings and flies away, breaking the totem pole and setting off a car alarm.

"Oh boy."

"Dipper, it's the third day! We've only got 7 hours to earn more profits, or I've got to wear that loser shirt all summer!"

Wendy walks over back to the Shack with Soos. "Hey guys! Am I nuts, or does this place look different?"

"Wendy, Soos! Am I glad to see you guys again. We've got a lot of work to do but if we hurry, we can still beat Stan!"

"Uh, yeah. I've got a little headache, so maybe I should like, not work today."

"And I actually just met this pack of wolves, and I think they're gonna like, raise me as one of their own, so I should really be at the den right now."

Mabel sputters, "But-but..".

"But hey, see ya on Monday."

Soos pointing to popsicles on the ground. "Uh, BT dubs, is anyone gonna eat these?"

Mabel twitches angrily, breaking the pen in her hand. "ENOUGH! I have HAD IT! I fought a monster to save this business, and this is how you repay me?! I'm gonna get an ulcer from your lollygagging!"

"Lollygagging?"

"Ulcer? You're acting... different."

Mabel shouts out, "You shut your yaps! I've been doing everyone's job while you bums have been bleeding me dry!"

"But I-"

"No buts except yours on the floor cleaning! Now quit loafing and get to work!"

"Yes, Mabel."

"That's yes, BOSS! (Mabel slams her hand on the counter and Stan's fez falls and lands on her head. She looks in the mirror and gasps) Dipper, what have I become?"

"What you had to, Mabel. What you had to."

The Doctor suddenly whistles tips his fedora. He suddenly brought the attention of Wendy and Soos with Dipper and Mabel.

"Kids, we have to remember-winning is not about this, we're not doing this, it is not because we want to **beat** someone! We do what we do because it will be right! Because it is decent!"

All four look at him.

"It's just...kind."

The Doctor looks at his own pocket-watch momentarily...

"We've got seven hours to turn this around! Let's go, people! Let's teach Stan in some idea of hope...that can make kindness where he can stand where everyone stands...when..."

The Doctor sighs, "...someone falls, I think..."

With adding enthusiasm, Mabel holds up money jar. Everyone grins.

* * *

A crane is repairing the totem pole. The Doctor is paying certain reparations.

"Time is money, hard hat! You got complaints, file them with the complaint department! (holds up a trash can) Ughh, my back. (tour bus pulls up) Dipper, we've got tourists at 9 o'clock!"

"But what do I show them? Real magic just freaks people out."

"Figure something out, knucklehead!"

Dipper is back inside the shack, wearing a tuxedo with an eye patch, giving the tourists a tour.

"Ladies and gentle-tourists! This shack is filled with wonders, NEVER before seen by human eyes! Behold, the horrible giant question baby!

Directs their attention to Soos dressed in his Questiony the Question mark outfit, plus with cover-up clothes.

"Am I a man? Am I a baby? These are legitimate questions."

The tourists gasp.

"Have your picture taken with it for a buck. Uh, ten bucks. (Adds a zero after the 1) A hundred bucks!"

Soon, the tourists are leaving happy.

"We put the fun in no refunds! (Goes back into the shack) How'd we do?"

"We filled the whole jar!" Everyone cheers.

Stan suddenly enters with a clock buzzing. "Tick-tock! Time's up, kids!"

"Oh, no!"

Stan comments on Dipper, "Nice to see you learned how to dress while I was gone."

Dipper blushes with embarrassment.

"How much did you beat us by?" Mabel questioned.

"I won $300,000! And then..."

 _Flashback to the Cash Wheel._

 _"For a chance to double your cash or lose it all, what is the six-letter word you use to ask for something politely? For example, "May I get help and get healed, blank?"_

 _"Do I look like an idiot, folks? The word is "Gimmee." Two E's."_

 _"Oooh! You know, because you've gone this far, we're gonna give you one more chance. Let's try again. It's a "P" word. Some might even say it's the "magic word."_

 _"Pabracadabra! Final answer!"_

 _"I'm sorry, Stan, but the word is..."_

"Please _?"_

"Apparently that word can make you money."

Dipper shakes the money jar. "So, wait. If you lost everything, then that means...Mabel! You won!"

Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Wendy shouts out. "We did it!"

Soos asks, "Wait. What did we win again?"

Stan replied, "Well, according to our bet, I guess Mabel's the new boss?"

All four shout out, "No! No! Don't do that!"

"Huh? What?"

Mabel clarifies, "Grunkle Stan, I had no idea how hard it was being boss. This place was cuckoo bananas until I started barking orders at people like you." As she hands him his fez.

Stan chuckles, "Yeah, well, I got to admit, It's kind of nice to be back, ya know? Okay, okay, that's enough, get offa me! And Soos, Wendy; GET TO WORK! Ahem. Please. Uhh! Still hurts."

The Doctor laughs, "Same, dear o'l Stan."

Dipper then asks, "Mabel, didn't your agreement say something about Stan having to do some kind of apology dance if he lost?"

Stan stutters, "N-no. No, it didn't."

"Actually, yeah, I think I have it in my notes here."

"No! That never happened!"

"Ha ha! I'll get the camera!" Wendy stated.

"All right, let me just..." Stan tries to run away, but bumps into the Doctor.

"Wha-OOF!"

"Grunkle Stan!"

* * *

A camera is filming Stan, who is dressed in a sparkly orange suit with the Doctor lending him his rainbow coat. He thought it might look funny on Stan.

"Uh, look, I'm not gonna..."

"Do it!"

Stan grumbles, _"I'm Stan, and I was wrong, I'm singing the Stan Wrong Song, I shouldn't have taken that chance, Now here's my remorseful dance."_

"Do the kicks! Jazzier!"

Stan's fez falls off in process; Gompers tries to eat it, "Hey, gimme that! Ow! My back!"

Mabel asks Waddles. "What do you think?"

"Oink!"

The Doctor lifts his fedora up and giggles.

"Take thirty!"

Stan almost cried out of remorse.

8-5-1-22-25 1-18-5 20-8-5 8-5-1-4-19 20-8-1-20 23-5-1-18-19 20-8-5 6-5-26 1-14-4 6-5-4-15-18-1.


	14. Chapter 14

_lautaro94: Why, thank you! :)_

 _I do not own DW and GF. Enjoy!_

* * *

 _ **Bottomless Pit!**_

Stan Pines is driving the Mystery Cart with the Doctor, Soos, and the twins. To stop at a certain mysterious pit...

"In this land of ours, there are many great pits. But none more bottomless than the bottomless pit. Which as you can see here is bottomless."

"Question. Is it bottomless?" Soos rhetorically asked.

Stan sighs, "Kids, Doc, can one of you try explaining this to Soos?"

The Doctor flaps his fedora while re-searching items in his bag, "That's what **_we_** asked about it too...it can be a strange weirdness source...reminds me that crack in reality for that struggle where Multi-Bear was living..." The Doctor murmurs.

Dipper questions, "Grunkle Stan, Doc, why are we here again?"

"To dispose of things that we don't want. Found this peculiar place long after settling around here with-AH HA! Found it! So long, Mystery Shack suggestion cards!" As he throws some cards down into the pit.

Mabel adds in, "Goodbye, creepy love letters from Li'l Gideon! (Throws letters and gifts away) Die! Die!"

"He still sends them?" As the Doctor raises one of his brows.

Soos takes off his shoes and throws them in the pit randomly.

"What are you doing?"

"Throwing stuff, dude. Everyone's doin' it." As he grabs and throws a barbecue grill down the pit.

Mabel is pushing a large chained box toward the pit.

Stan asks, "What you got there, Mabel?"

Mabel replies nonchalantly, "Oh, it's just my personal box of mysterious secrets. Nothing worth wondering about. (Giggles and pushes the box down the pit) Goodbye forever!"

"Grunkle Stan, do I really have to be the one to point out that a bottomless pit is, by definition, impossible?"

Stan shaking cards out of his fez down the pit, rolling his eyes wistfully. "Says you."

"Well, I guess we'll never know."

"Yeah, you don't have to-" Stan was interrupted by a gust of wind.

Wind starts blowing.

Soos shouts, "Aah! It's some sort of invisible pushing force!"

"Quick! Everyone back to the shack!" As Dipper runs toward the house.

"I'm not done getting rid of these yet!" Stan tries throwing more cards into the bottomless pit but the wind blows them into his face. "Argh-NOT AGAIN!"

Stan fell in the hole.

Mabel shouts, "Grunkle Stan! No!"

Soos, Dipper, Mabel, and the Doctor looked each other.

"...Oh, All for God's Sakes! Avante!"

"Whoo-Hoo! Grunkle Stan! We're coming for you!"

"Sounds like a bad idea but-Grunkle Stan!"

"Guys, Let's Stick Together!"

All jump into the pit; screaming and whooping, while following Stan.

Meanwhile, on top Gompers bleats.

* * *

All of the Pines, and Soos scream. The Doctor still clutches his fedora in determination.

A great silent pause.

Soos breaks the silence, "So, anyone want to scream some more?"

Dipper asks, "Where are we?"

Mabel pulls and lights a glowstick. "We're somewhere where it looks like we're nowhere." As she hangs the glowstick on her arm and giggles.

"We're gonna land on something eventually! It could be any second now!"

Everyone braces for a landing except for Stan and the Doctor but nothing happens.

"Well... it looks like we're down here for the long haul in this so-called, "Mo-bius Pit-hole" I think. Who wants to see some card tricks? (Takes out cards, which fly up and away) Tada!"

Mabel claps. The Doctor shrugs.

Soos suggests, "Hey, maybe we should pass the time by telling stories."

Dipper remarked sarcastically, "I've got a story! It's called about the time-Grunkle Stan got us all thrown into a bottomless pit where we spent the rest of our natural lives!"

Soos thought if it is a real story, "Go on..."

"Come on, Dipper, you can do better than that."

"Fine." As Dipper takes the glow stick. "I'll tell you a story. A story I'd like to call "Voice Over."

* * *

"Ready?"

Mabel, Wendy Corduroy, and Soos are spinning Waddles, "Spin the Pig!" Until he stops, pointing at Stan.

"Hey! Grunkle Stan. Ever kissed a pig before?"

"I'm not gonna answer that question."

Dipper runs up. "Guys! I think I just got bit by a snake! Where is the Doctor?"

Stan laughs.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Sorry. It's just hard to focus on what you're saying with that squeaky puberty voice you got there."

"My what?"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Dipper. Your voice is (Mabel imitating Dipper) hillaaarrious!"

Dipper stutters, "Are you saying my voice cracks? My voice doesn't crack!"

Soos adds in, "Dude, no offense, but it cracks so much we've already made a techno remix out of it." As he plays a tape.

Remix with Dipper's voice. _"Nice to meet you! My name's Dipper Pines, P-P-Pines, Pines, Pines Nice to meet you P-p-pines, Pines, Pines"_

"Do I really sound like that?!"

"Oh, here comes my favorite part!" Wendy chimes in.

 _"Stop it, guys!"_

Mabel, Stan, Soos and Wendy laugh altogether.

Dipper sighs, "Even my sigh sounds weird."

The Doctor appears behind the shack, "...almost done with the boat...Good Heavens! Dipper are you bitten?"

"...oh, um Yeah! Doc, can you look over it?"

The Doctor kneels down and pulls out his bag, bring a certain First-Aid kit from his handy bag.

He soon bandaged it with certain treatment. Dipper sighs deeply.

"Oh-it would fine in few days...hey-Dipper-what is the matter?"

"Doc, I think I have the worst voice-crack ever...I mean, the rest have even made a song about it" Dipper grumbles, "...Maybe I shouldn't even bother on it..."

"Heh, no worries on that Dipper; for me-I always get hundreds of unique voice changes through my life! Don't even ask!" The Doctor chuckles fondly with a wink, reassuring Dipper.

"And-uh, oh! Please give this to Tate McGucket's father, uh-Fiddleford? He's an old friend of mine..." The Doctor hands an sealed letter for Dipper.

"Urm-Sure!"

* * *

Old Man McGucket pops out of a hole. "Hello there!"

Dipper screams.

"I couldn't help but overhear your situation. Old Man McGucket, (spits on his hand) part-time inventor."

Dipper questions, "Why do you spit on your hand? And-how did you overheard me and Doc's conversation?"

McGucket chuckles madly, "I don't rightly know."

"Hey, I remember you! Your robot almost killed us!" As he hands McGucket a certain letter...

McGucket, after grabbing it, pulls Dipper into an alley. "Come here! Follow me into this dark and dangerous alley. (Pouring a certain potion into a cup) Lately, I've been tickerizing with a voice alterizing tonic. On account of my Horrrrifyin' voice!" Fiddleford hands Dipper the "potion".

"This will really fix my voice? Thanks!" As he drinks it and leaves.

"Come mornin', you'll sound like a new man... If you survive."

Soon enough, Dipper is waking up in the morning, yawns, with deeper voice, " _Good morning Dipper. I did it! I diiid it! Now I have a neeew voice! Ha ha ha! (_ Runs to Mabel's bed) _Morning Mabel. Who's my favorite Mabel?"_

Mabel screams; hits Dipper with a golf are you?! What have you done with my brother!? Dipper! I'll save you from this body switching warlock!"

 _"Mabel, it's me! This is my voice now. I sound awesome. Soouund aaawesome."_

"I know boys' voices change, but this is weird. Weird and bad."

 _"But Mabel, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And just think of the prank calls._ " As he dials a number.

"Hello?"

 _"Hello, this is the President of the United States of America. I am calling to tell you..." *spitting noises*._

"What?! Who is this?!"

Dipper hangs up and laughs. " _Magnificent_!"

"Mabel no like."

* * *

Dipper walks up to Soos in the gift shop. _"How are you diddly-doing, Soos?"_

Soos grabs a broom and hits Dipper. "Kill it! Kill it with fire! Everyone flee!"

 _"OOF! What gives, man? You guys all made fun of my old voice. I thought you'd like the new one."_

"Well, at least before you sounded like a real person. Now, you sound like some weird commercial dude." Soos remarks.

 _"I'll find Stan. He'll like my new voice. You'll see. I'll be right back after these messages!.. I mean... goodbye._ (Goes outside and downtown) _Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan! Where are you, Grunkle Stan?"_ Then walks by Skull Fracture.

A muscular man named Tats recognizes the voice...

"Huh? I know that voice anywhere! You're that guy that prank-called me earlier!"

 _"No I'm not. I'm a 12 year old boy."_

"You expect me to believe that? You crazy-voiced punk!"

 _"Wait! No!"_ Dipper screams and runs away.

Tats walks into a bar. "There's a prank caller on the loose! Let's get him!"

Everyone in the bar running after him; Dipper jumps into a hole. " _Escaaape_! (Runs to where old man McGucket is) _McGucket! Your invention was a catastrophe!"_

"That's probably why I live in a dump!"

 _"My own sister didn't recognize me. I scared away crowds. (_ Sobs _) I even sound ridiculous when I cry."_

"Well, now. Here's your problem. I gave you the wrong drinking majiggy. This one's for voice over professionals. I'm sure I got a better voice in here somewhere."

 _"Good! Hurry up!"_

"You got here just in time. Come sundown, you'd be back to your ridiculous old voice."

Dipper sighs, _"It was ridiculous, wasn't it?_ " As he pulls out and plays the tape.

 _"D-D-Dipper Pines"_

 _"That's me! (Mabel's voice) This remix is dedicated to my brother. Dipper, your voice is one of a kind. (Soos' voice) Dude, I've never heard anything like it. R-r-remix over!"_ Soos makes explosion noise. Dipper suddenly smiles.

"Are you ready for your new voice? This one should be permanent!" As McGucket gives Dipper a new potion.

* * *

"Hey guys."

"Dipper!"

"Dude, you're back!"

"I guess I realized that even though my voice may not be perfect, it's still mine, and I wouldn't change it for anything, not even for whatever was in this new vial."

"So, what did you do with the rest of that potion?" Mabel asks.

"I dumped it in an random cup, so I can use it one day-".

The Doctor walks in holding a cup of lemonade; in a female voice, "HeLlo? HeLlo? WhY dO i SoUnD lIkE a MaDaMe?"

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos laugh at the funny, ironic moment.

"WaS iT sOmEtHiNG i DrAnK?"

* * *

"-that would explain everything...dear old Fiddleford." The Doctor chuckles.

"Heh-Heh, sorry about that Doc." Dipper apologized.

"No need! It wore off since to my neck structures' systems..." The Doctor replied with a wink.

"I spy with my little eye something that is... Black!" Mabel stated.

"Ooh ooh! Everything!"

"Yay for Soos!" Mabel claps.

Soos adds in, "Yay for Soos!"

"Hey guys, who wants to pass the time by spinning? Everyone spin!"

"No."

Mabel spins Dipper, "Yaay!"

"Woooaah!"

Soos chuckles

Mabel running on top of Dipper, "Weeee!"

"Ow, ow, ow, ow."

Stan chimes in, "Dipper's pain is funny, but I'm starting to get bored. Soos, tell a story."

Soos replies, "Really? story is called "Soos' Really Good Pinball story. Is that a good title? Does it have to be a pun or whatever?"

* * *

The Doctor, Soos, Dipper, and Mabel are in a pinball room. Soos is playing pinball.

Dipper and Mabel cheers, "Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!"

"This is it, dudes. After 4 long years of trying, I might finally get a high score on Stan's creepy old pinball machine. If I do this, I'll go down in pinball history, with the likes of Sal, Gaff, and of course, Poo."

"Have you ever tried maybe tilting the machine?"

"I don't know, dudes, isn't breaking the rules like, against the rules?"

"Nuts to the rules! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!"

Soos suddenly loses.

"Failure! You stink!" The Pinball game stated.

"All right, that's it! Are you ready, kids?"

Mabel and Dipper tilting the machine. "Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!"

"Quit tiltin', partner. Quit tiltin'!"

The Doctor approaches the scene, "By The Great Horn Spoon!-did it talk back at us?

"Tilt!" Soos tilts the ball into the goal.

"Bulls-eye! New high score!"

Mabel, Dipper and Soos cheers.

"This is the best moment of my life. This totally beats my old best moment."

Pinball Machine suddenly stated, "That ain't right. You cheated."

Mabel scoffed, "Oh, yeah. What are you gonna do about it? You're just a Pinball game, Pinball game. Taunt, taunt."

"Uh, guys, there's an awful lot of green lightning coming out of that game."

"No, that's the normal amount of green lightning."

"KIDS WATCH OUT-"

Lightning strikes them. Soos is suddenly wearing cowboy clothes in the pinball game.

"Uh, 5 more minutes." Soos gets up."Ah! That's not a normal alarm clock."

Dipper runs up with Mabel and the Doctor; they are also wearing old west themed clothes; for the Doctor is wearing a Stetson and his old green Wild Bill Hickok's outfit. "Soos! We're inside the game! Crazy!"

"Sweet Moses!"

"Hushed exclamation of wonder!"

"Awesome!"

Mabel jumps around on the buzzers, "Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing!"

"Dude, if this is a dream, I never want to wake up!"

Pinball Machine suddenly stated, "That can be arranged. Welcome to Tumbleweed Terror, partners."

"Hey, it's the skeleton cowboy guy. Did you zap me into your game to congratulate me on getting my new score? I beat Poo, dude!"

"Pardon, and if'n I do recall, I did warned y'all not to cheat. I tried to be gentleman-like, but I'm plum sick of being tilted. So, now I reckon, I'm gonna tilt you."

The Doctor whistles, "Uh-oh!"

"Well, take this! (Hits a button but hits himself in the eye) Ow! And this! (Punches himself again) Ow! It hurts. I wish this was working better. And this! Aw, dude!"

Mabel and Dipper scream, "Soos!"

The Doctor quickly wakes Soos up.

Pinball Machine laughs, "Get yourselves ready for the..."

"Multi-Ball!" Everyone exclaimed.

Pinball Machine laughs, "Ha ha ha ha ha!:

"Over there!"

Dipper, Mabel, The Doctor, and Soos run behind a wall.

"Where are you? I'm not done teaching you a lesson about cheating yet."

Dipper questions, "How are we gonna get out of here? Think, guys."

The Doctor rubs his temples.

"I'm trying. But it's hard with that gorgeous pinball wench distracting me." Waves at a far cutout of a familiar woman who grins and waves back... "Okay. Don't worry, guys, I know every inch of this machine. There's a manual power switch inside. I can sneak in there and turn off the game. But we'll have to distract the cowboy guy. Are any of you good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises?" Soos devises.

"Nice Plan!" The Doctor agrees.

Mabel stated, "My time has come."

Dipper chimes in, "Alright, let's go, Soos. Soos?"

"...So are you, like, doing anything later?"

Dipper kicks the distracting wench that appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh, right."

"Come on out and show yourselves, varmints!"

Mabel jumps up on a buzzer. "Hey! Hey! Hey! Look at me and listen to what I'm doing! BUZZZZZZ! DISTRACTION! DISTRACTION! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA!"

The Doctor quotes randomly, "The Island of Blue Dolphins-True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle-Johnny Tremain-where indeed does the Red Fern Grows?! Beowulf-The Giver-Flowers for Algernon, Homeless Bird! Twelfth Night! Around in Eighty Days! Odyssey! I am Dr Funkenstein! You Shall Not Pass! Oh Romeo, Romeo-451-Mockingbird-Flies-Beware Ides of March! Crime and Punishment-1984-A Catcher in A Rye-and the Outsiders!"

Dipper sings.

Pinball Machine was being distracted, "Something ain't right here. Let me see where this is going."

Soos gets in a cart, rolls down behind the pinball machine.

"Ha ha ha ha. Yippy ti yi what? Where are ya? (Tries to turn) Darnit, I wish I had a neck."

"Soos, pssssst. What's going on? Just press the switch already!"

"Okay, so I was gonna do that, but I've been thinking. According to this, turning off the power erases the high score permanently. That score is like my one big life accomplishment."

"What? If you don't hurry up, we could die in here!"

"That is true!" The Doctor chimes in, while steadying to protect the kids.

"Fair point. But, what is life anyway when compared to the immortality of a high score?"

"Immortality is not Living Forever! IT means rest are dead and dying-!"

Pinball Machine suddenly grabs attention, "There y'all are. Get ready to meet your maker, kids. My maker is...G.I's Shard: branded in Magpie Electricals, Sweetville."

The Doctor, Dipper, and Mabel are sucked toward the cowboy skull. "Woooooaah!"

"Soos!"

"Soos, Please!"

The Doctor shouts, "Turn it off! Quick!"

"Uhhh Uhh..." Soos suddenly sees the same woman cutout. She mutters, _"Save him, do it, do it now...save them...and tell the present clever man to Remember Me..."_

Soos snaps out of trance, "Goodbye, high score!" He pushes the button and the pinball game turns off. He and the twins wake up outside of the game. "Woah! You dudes okay?"

"Yes! You did it! You freed us!"

"Hey man, I'm sorry you had to lose your high score."

"That's Okay. I've got a new life accomplishment now. Saving you dudes."

Dipper and Mabel exclaim, "Awwwww."

The Doctor grins.

"Say, Doctor do you know that pinball lady?" Soos asked The Doctor quietly.

The Doctor nods slowly a bit as he disarmed the creepy pinball game machine, and mutters wistfully, "Hm.. _.always saving the Doctor...even in the future few times..."_

* * *

"I can't believe this nonsense! Magic tonics? Soos winning at something? Where did you come up with this stuff? I'll tell you a good story. It's called "Grunkle Stan Wins the Football Bowl!" Stan stated nonchalantly.

Stan imagines himself in a football stadium. Stan makes a touchdown and dances.

 _"Mr. Pines, I thought that old folks were useless, but you taught me and my gloating friends a lesson."_

 _Beautiful Woman arriving in a gigantic trophy. "Here is your football winning trophy, Mr. Pines."_

 _"Thanks, beautiful woman. But I couldn't have done it without my sidekick, Footbot."_

 _"Thank you for building me, Daddy!"_

 _Stan and football players laugh as fireworks go off._

 _"I love you, Stan."_

Soos, Dipper and Mabel shouts out, "Boooooooooo!"

"What?! That story was great! I even threw in a talking robot for the kids!"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna tell a non-terrible story. A story called "Trooth Ache!" Mabel stated.

* * *

Dipper, Mabel, The Doctor, and Stan are in the driveway while Manly Dan ties up a bear.

"This attraction is gonna make me a fortune. Easy with that bear, Corduroy! I need him in showroom condition."

Bear roars.

Manly Dan wrestles the bear, "No, Noo!"

"Aaaaawww. They're hugging."

"So, let me get this straight. Your plan is to teach a bear to ride a bicycle?" Even the Doctor scratches his head questionably on Stan's certain grey business areas.

"No. Come on, everyone's seen a bicycle-riding bear. No, no. I'm gonna teach this bear... to drive!"

Soon enough, Stan's car driving crazily on the road. The bear is driving, Stan is in the passenger seat, and Dipper and Mabel are in the back seat, huddled with the Doctor. "-And the yellow light means speed up! (Hears cops' siren noise) Uh oh."

Blubs and Durland stops Stan's car.

"What seems to be the problem, officers?"

Sheriff Blubs replies, "There better be a darn good explanation for this."

"Oh, there is. You see, I'm a very old man. Not long for this Earth. And Doc right here assigned me a seeing eye bear to drive me to the hospital in case of an emergency."

"Is that right? Then, where is the doctor's clarification?"

"Why, it's right here!" As he grabs the Doctor's supposed wallet quickly from his own hands. "Well-I was about to use that..."

"There you go."

"Stan is sick and needs a bear. Dr. Medicine. Well, I can't argue with Dr. Medicine."

"Is that what it says?!" The Doctor raised his eyebrows, as he examined his wallet once more.

"To the hospital, honeypants!"

Bear roars and drives away. "HOLD ON!" The Doctor shouts.

* * *

Stan is painting rocks under a sign titled "Real Gold!" Mabel walks up to him.

"Grunkle Stan, how could you lie to those policemen?! Don't you know lying is always wrong?"

"Mabel, when you get to be my age, you'll learn that you sometimes have to bend the truth for the greater good."

Dipper comes in. "Hey, have any of you seen my plate of spaghetti?"

Stan hides spaghetti which he was eating behind him while turning around to Dipper. "No... But I bet Soos has. You know how he likes to eat."

"This is a dark day. Thanks, Grunkle Stan." Dipper runs off.

"See? Greater good."

"Aaaaah!"

Later, Mabel is lying on her bed with Waddles.

"Waddles, what am I gonna do about Grunkle Stan? (As Waddles) He needs to stop lying. (Regular voice) I know, but how do we stop him? (As Waddles) Maybe you should check Dipper's journal. Oink Oink. (Regular voice) Say oink one more time. (As Waddles) Oink Oink. (Regular voice) Waddles, you genius! (Opens journal; reading aloud) "Buried 'neath a trees stump in the deep forest are the truth teeth, which forces upon the wearer the inability to lie." Hmmm!"

Soon, Stan sleeping at night. Mabel puts truth teeth in his mouth and wakes him up.

"What? What's going on? Huh? Mabel?"

"Quick question. What happened to Dipper's spaghetti plate?"

"I ate it because I have little to no concern about other people's possessions or emotions. (Realizes what he just said) That was strangely candid. Almost as if I am unable to lie. Well, good night."

Soon that morning, Mabel is telling the Doctor and Dipper.

"You what? That seems like a horrible idea!"

"It's great! Now he has to tell the truth."

"I am not sure...that thing kinda gave us trouble-"

Stan gives them plates. "Scrambled meat, here it is."

Dipper asks Stan, "...what do you do in secret everyday during your lunch break?"

"Usually, I spend the hour aggressively scratching myself in places I shouldn't mention. Now I'm going to avoid making eye contact by pretending to read this newspaper and going to the bathroom without washing my hands. "

Dipper and Mabel shout out, "Eeeeeeewww!"

"Welp! The Return-of-Honesty-is-Best-Policy-thing again!" The Doctor stated.

"Well, that was disturbing."

"Don't worry, Dipper. The truth is always a good thing."

* * *

"Hey, excuse me. Do you think this t-shirt is my size?"

"Never mind the t-shirt! Hey everyone, look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face!"

Mabel leads the poor man away. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

* * *

"Doing my taxes."

Dipper looks at one of the papers, which has "I HAVE COMMITTED TAX FRAUD" on it. "Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this?"

"Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud."

"You might wanna... tuck that one away there." As Dipper shreds paper.

Dipper, Mabel and Stan are watching TV, where a certain man on a unicycle is juggling... _A/N: ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡)_

Dipper and Mabel laugh, "Hahahahaha!"

"Sometimes, I think. Is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punch line? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet, release of death?"

Mabel rocks back and forth.

Dipper shivers.

The Doctor pinches the bridge of his nose, "...Tell me about it..."

Stan yelling up to Dipper and Mabel, who are in their room. "Kids, I think I have a growth forming on my back. Just wanted to be honest with you guys."

Dipper shouts out, "I can't take it anymore, Mabel! We need to take those teeth out of his mouth."

"But then he'll be a liar again."

"Could it possibly be any worse than this?"

The doorbell rings. Dipper and Mabel run downstairs, where Stan and The Doctor is standing in the doorway with Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland.

"So, after further investigation, it turns out that there is no Dr. Medicine in Gravity Falls." As both police officers eyed the Doctor

"You better have a darn good explanation for this."

The Doctor opens his mouth but was interrupted by Stan.

Stan replies, "Oh and I do. You see, I lied to you with Doc's sci-fic credentials. In addition I've been parking in handicapped spaces, shoplifting fireworks, and smuggling endangered animals across multiple state lines. Also, you're fat."

Sheriff Blubs drops his coffee. "Is all of this true?"

Dipper jumps in, "No! No, it's not true. Right, Mabel?"

Mabel stutters, "Uh, sirs, I have to be completely and totally honest with you. Our Great Uncle Stan is..."

"is..."

Everyone cringes or prepares to the moment.

"Stan is.."

The Doctor tucks his hand in his pockets, in case if need any tools for this...

"...secretly a crime fiction writer!"

"What?" Blubs questioned.

"Yeah. He was just telling you about a character in his upcoming page turner, Crime Grandpa! He's never committed a crime in his life. Also, have you lost weight?"

Sheriff Blubs commented, "Finally! Someone noticed."

"Wow, an author! Can you teach me how to read?"

"What? Author?"

"Ha ha, writer, master of fiction. Good night, officers." As Mabel closed the door and sighs.

"Hey, you alright?"

"I can't believed I lied."

"Mabel, it was for the greater good."

"Well, the "magical Wizarding World" almost made that mistake...and also: Rule One-The Doctor lies!" The Doctor reassures jokingly with Mabel.

Mabel grins, "Yeah, the greater good."

"Hello? Police station? I forgot to tell him about my tax fraud. No, tax fraud."

Dipper and Mabel tackle him. The Doctor quickly takes the phone and reassures the other end...

"What's gotten into you kids?!"

Mabel pulls out the teeth. "We have to find a place to get rid of these!

* * *

 _Mabel is throwing out the box into the bottomless pit at the beginning of the chapter._

"...And I never saw that box full of magical teeth again. (Sees the box next to Stan) Oh wait, there it is."

Soos, The Doctor, Dipper, and Stan sighs.

"I guess I might research them later on..." The Doctor commented.

"Oh, sweet! My shoes!" Soos puts his shoes back on.

"I like the part with the bear. The rest of it seems pretty far-fetched."

"Mabel, we already know that story! We just lived through it."

"If we're living through that story right now, then how does it end?"

Mabel shrugs, and asks the Doctor, "Say, don't you have a story yet to tell?"

Dipper chimes in, "Yeah! Back at home, you always tell good ones!"

Soos stated, "So you got any that pass the time more?"

Stan meanwhile rolls his eyes.

The Doctor at the moment of silence, then grins. And thus began...

"Well, usually...I often have ghosts of my past in my present time...and soon the future..."

The Doctor sighs, and randomly continued.

"I often travel everywhere, anywhere, and you-can-name-it...an otherworldly hotel called Hazbin, perhaps that house on Mango Street is thoughtful-maybe those high schools that often believe "everyone is all in this together" and "bringing it on", or meeting Danny and Billy Joe Cobra together...I meet many interesting people..."

The Doctor smiles at the twins, who often hear back at their home with interesting stories from their mysterious godfather.

"...I often think...I really don't like stories that have to yet to end...being with you guys as a "family member", or as a family friend is quite amazing...I sometimes I can think...if my **own** family is still alive..."

Mabel gasp, "...You actually don't know about your own family?" Even Stan, who knew the Doctor that much of his own life, shot him a curious look.

"Like I said, sometimes I do...sometimes I don't. If I sleep, they all can rest in my mind. Then a giant incomparable _wartime_ came along...now I am not even sure..."

The twins suddenly feel that, compared to the usual bedtime stories he shared with them during their childhood, this one is somewhat yet different...

The Doctor chuckles slightly in remembrance, "...Imagine! The imaginations we as kids or now often had... the second sun would rise in the south...and the mountains would shine. The leaves on the trees would be silver. When they caught the light, every morning it looked like a forest on fire. When the Autumn came, a brilliant glow though the branches..."

Soos looks up at his own mentoring friend's face whose eyes are dazzling with certain private-yet not malicious memories which he wants to share.

"...And it was, it would be beautiful. The society I used to live in called "home" a shining world of systems. And on the continent of wild endeavor, in the mountains of solace and solitude, they always looking down on the below, sworn never to interfere, only to watch...heh-power always corrupts..."

The Doctor looks away, looking empty...

"I always feel old enough to know that a longer life isn't always a better one...in the end, you just get tired; tired of the struggle, tired of losing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everything you love turn to dust..."

Suddenly, the Doctor's present friends suddenly gave the Doctor a memory he would like to treasure forever in his state of mind now; the twins hugged him-since he expressed he was a lonely man. Soos gave him a pat, and Stan gives a smile.

After silence Dipper interrupts, "Guys, do you see that?"

They are approaching some light.

"What is that?"

"Oh no!"

"Where are we going?"

"Not good!"

" _HOLD ON TIGHT!_ " The Doctor stated.

All scream as they fall out of the pit and onto the spot they fell from.

"Where... where are we?"

Mabel gasps. "Look! The Shack! Which means... we came right back out the top."

"And I don't think any time has passed. It must be some kind of wormhole."

"Yeah, dude. That sounds science-y enough to be true."

Stan chuckles, "Well, that's impossible. No one will believe us."

Mabel suggests, "Maybe this is one story we should keep to ourselves."

"Agreed."

Stan leans on the sign, which breaks, and he falls into the hole. "NOT THRICE!" He screams. By quick reaction, the Doctor grabs by the hand. Stan huffs out in relief.

"He's fine" Mabel laughs.

Stan sighs, "This is stupid."

14-5-24-20 21-16 6-15-15-20-2-15-20 20-23-15 7-18-21-14-11-12-5 19 7-18-5-22-5-14-7-5 20-8-5 7-9-22-5-14 12-5-20-20-5-18 6-9-4-4-12-5-6-15-18-4 9 8-1-22-5 14-15 18-9-7-8-20 20-15 1-19-11 25-15-21 20-8-9-19 2-21-20 23-15-21-12-4 25-15-21 8-5-12-16 13-5 1-14-4 19-20-1-14...15-14-5...12-1-19-20...20-9-13-5?


	15. Chapter 15

_**The Deep End**_

 _"Watch out, Gravity Falls, because at a 110 degrees, we're looking at the hottest day of the summer!"_

At the Mystery Shack, Stan's favorable "twin-look-like" Wax Stan melts, the wallpaper curls and peels off by itself, and water in the fish tank boils due to the heat. Mabel, Dipper, Stan, and Soos are in the living room, not quite enjoying the heat. Save for the Doctor who is wearing Hawaiian shirt and trousers with a wide brimmed hat to cover from heat.

"All in favor of doing nothing all day say "ugh."

"Ugh."

Waddles walks up to Stan.

"I'm gonna throw this pig out of the house!"

Waddles oinks and licks Stan

"You called my bluff, pig."

 _"On the bright side, pun very much intended, it's opening week at the Gravity Falls Pool."_

Mabel jumps up, "Gravity Falls Pool?"

Dipper adds, "Today?"

Soos chimes in, "Pun intended?"

Stan shouts, "Quick! To the Stan-o-mobile!"

He tries to get up, but is stuck to the floor.

"Hey, guys, a little help here?"

Mabel and Dipper pull out spatulas and attempt to release Stan from the floor. The Doctor heaves him up. Soos shudders.

"Alright! Off to the pool!"

Stan turns around, and revealing that the twins removed the wood from the floor when breaking him free.

 _"And remember to be on alert for random wildfires!"_

"Wait, what? (He is heard catching on fire) Aaaah!"

The Doctor randomly pulls a fire extinguisher from his bag to spray out the stinging fire.

"He'll be fine."

* * *

"Ah, the pool! A sparkling oasis of summer enchantment!"

"Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers. It's like the bus, but wet."

Dipper looks at the towel Soos is holding, "Why would a sun need to wear sunglasses?"

"It's best not to think about it."

The Doctor chuckles.

"Whoa, whoa! Stop the presses! Who's that?" Mabel points at a handsome young man whose hair is blowing in the wind.

"Oh, yeah. Word is, dude never leaves the pool. People say he's a "Mysterious loner." Soos explains.

"Is it getting hot out here or is it just that guy?"

"It's the hottest day of the year, Mabel. Besides, can't you go for one week without having a new crush on some random guy?"

"Uh-uh. (Gasps) Look at his little mustache hairs!"

Soos encourages Mabel, "You are clearly enamored. Go to him."

Mabel runs across the pool, but trips across a bucket and stumbles on two men in lawn chairs.

"Hey, come on!"

"Watch it kid!"

"Aaah! Oops, sorry."

Soos' eyes were dazzled, "It's so beautiful!"

"Eh, Mabel's all talk. You wanna know a secret? She's never even kissed a guy before. She always messes it up somehow." Dipper stated.

"Oi. Women." Stan stated. Suddenly, a water balloon is thrown in the Doctor's face. Fortunately by pure coincidence, the Doctor has his hat out on his hands-and the water balloon merely flopped off his face and went onto his hat, "Aaah!"

"Hey, Mr Pines and Dr Houston!"

"Wendy? Where's the lifeguard?" Stan asks.

"I am the lifeguard. I make the rules, sucka! (Throws a water balloon at Stan) Boosh!"

"Aah! She's attacking me with water!"

The Doctor, Wendy, Soos, and Dipper laugh.

"Wow. You work here?" Dipper asked Wendy.

"I found out lifeguards get free snack privileges. Plus I get the best seat in the house."

"Yeah, you do! (Laughs, then whispers) I've been laughing for too long..."

"Dude, are you and Wendy having a secret staring contest? 'Cause I think you're winning—"

"Soos! Shh! (Pushes Soos away, Wendy looks confused) So, hey, you wanna go chuck more water balloons at Grunkle Stan?"

"I'd love to, but I gotta spend the day doing tryouts. We're looking for a new assistant lifeguard."

"Hey, (Clears throat; deeper voice) hey. (Normal voice) What if I was the assistant lifeguard?"

Wendy replies, "That would be so much fun! You're totally in, dude! (Throws a rescue can at Dipper; he catches it) You just have to check in with my boss first, Mr. Poolcheck."

"Your boss?"

It shows a masculine man doing push ups with his index fingers. He turns in Dipper's direction; Dipper gasps. The Doctor shrugs.

* * *

Meanwhile, the mysterious boy is drinking lemonade. Suddenly, Mabel bursts out of the water.

"Wow! Oh my gosh, how crazy bumping into you even though we don't know each other!"

"How long have you been underwater?"

"That doesn't matter! (Coughs up a band-aid) So, hey! My name's Mabel."

"Hola!" He replied.

"Whoa! Are you Australian?"

He chuckles, "I am charmed by your sense of humor. And your bold lack of water-wings!"

Mabel laughs. "You're so funny! And your hair is beautiful..."

"No, no it has silly tangles!"

"Mind if I..." As Mabel pulls out a comb, and begins to brush the mysterious boy's hair.

"Why, Mabel. You are so forward."

 _This is it! He likes you! Go for it, Mabel! It's time! Ask him out on a date! "_ So, hey, you wanna go dry off? Maybe hit the snack bar or—?"

"I-I'm afraid I cannot! For I have a terrible secret! I must go."

He swims off, leaving Mabel by herself.

"I'm upset. Yet intrigued!"

* * *

Dipper is talking to Mr. Poolcheck.

"...And that is why I think I'd make a good lifeguard assistant."

"Hmm... (Mr Poolcheck sets down and sniffs Dipper) SPF 100? Good, I like you. But this isn't an easy job. It's anarchy out there."

Ironically, it shows the pool being perfectly calm.

"I think I can handle it."

"Can you handle this?! (He pulls of his hand, revealing it to be prosthetic...which seemed to be clockwork... Dipper screams) I lost my hand to a pool filter. The pool may seem friendly, but she can turn on you in an instant. Which is why you must respect her rules! Do you think you have what it takes, boy? Do you?!"

Dipper looks at Wendy, who is giving him a thumbs up.

"Sure. I guess."

Mr. Poolcheck puts a whistle around Dipper's neck.

"Welcome to the deep end, son."

"Well, thanks, I— (Mr. Poolcheck strangles him in a hug.) Yep. Oh, this is happening."

* * *

The Doctor, Stan, and Soos walking by the pool.

"There she is, Soos. Equidistant from the snack bar and the bathroom. Just the right amount of sun and shade. And pointed away from where o'l Fiddleford lotions himself."

"Whoo-wee!"

"The perfect lawn chair." The chair shines in the sunlight.

Soos commented, "The legends that you told me in the car were true."

The Doctor scratches his head, "...legends, rumors-the parts in my travels of meeting Ty Cobb, or Sally Face. Poor fellows..."

"I just can't believe it wasn't already taken. And now to sit on it, thereby claiming it as my own."

Stan sits down, but a foot rests on his back just as he does. The Doctor grimaces.

Stan shouts out, "What?!"

Gideon was already in the seat, "Why, hello Stanford."

"Gideon! Get outta my chair, kid!"

"Oh my, was this your chair. I had no idea. (Whispers) Yes I did, Stan, I knew."

"Move it, you little troll!

"First come, first serve!" As Gideon giggles and rolls around on the chair.

"I'll first serve you!" Stan picks up Gideon; suddenly the whistle blows which lands Stan in pool jail.

"Come on, Wendy! You can't do this to an old man!"

"Sorry, Stan, it's not up to me. (Chuckles) Actually, it is."

Dipper comes along, "Hey, Wendy, I got the job!"

"Sweet! Wanna go abuse our power?"

"But what if Poolcheck catches us? He seems emotionally unstable."

Points to Mr. Poolcheck doing sit-ups on the chain-link fence.

"Nah, don't worry, man. You just gotta be sneaky about your rule-breaking. Race you to the no running sign!"

Dipper runs after her, but then sees Poolcheck, who is drinking water from the pool. Mr. Poolcheck looks at him and licks the extra water off his face. Dipper then slows down. The Doctor rolls his eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile at the "pool jail"...

The Doctor is standing by it, and wanting to see where this goes.

"How long you in for?"

Stan replies, "Two hours for roughhousing, but I'm innocent!"

"Pool jail ain't so bad... as long as you don't wind up in solitary."

Motions to a kid trapped inside a pool vent. The Doctor cocks one his eyebrows.

"It's the nights that are the hardest."

Meanwhile, Mabel comes out of the water, but then drops under again when the mysterious boy looks her direction. Again, Mabel appears, but ducks yet again when he thinks he hears her. Mabel then pops out of the water.

"Hey there! I brought you a sandwich. It's sort of wet, but it's still good. Blop."

Mabel puts the sandwich on his inflatable raft.

"I like sharing things. Sandwiches, secrets. (Whispers) Share your secret, beautiful stranger."

"That wet sandwich does look delicious."

His hair blows in the wind.

"Oh, very well. But you must never tell another living soul my terrible secret."

Mabel nods.

"You have to stay away from me because I am..."

The boy pushes his inflatable raft away from him.

"...A merman."

"Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were gonna say you had a girlfriend!" Mabel replied.

* * *

"A merman... ha! I should have known from your strange foreign fish language."

"It is Spanish."

"Your voice is so deep and masculine... how old are you?"

"I am 12 years old. Merman's voices change when we are, like, 3."

"So what's your name?"

"There are some who call me... (plays chord on a guitar) Mermando! This is because Mermando is my name."

"But I don't understand Mermando. What's a guy like you doing in a public pool?"

"It is a tragic story, Mabel."

 _"I was swimming with my friends, the mighty dolphins, in the Gulf of Mexico to run away certain sea monsters called Sea Devils and Silurians, when I was ensnared!"_

 _Mermando was swimming with dolphins from hostile sea aliens, until he is caught in a fishing net and brought up next to a boat._

 _"Earl, did we just catch ourselves some kind of beautiful man-fish?"_

 _"Let's feast on his flesh."_

 _"The cargo was headed for Gravity Falls."_

 _Mermando opens up the back of a truck and hops into the lake._

 _"Using all my strength, I tried to escape back home, but it was not to be."_

 _Mermando swims up a waterfall. When he reaches the top, he laughs, but suddenly, a log hits him in the face. He falls and lands into the forest surrounding the lake. He spits a tooth out._

 _"I would have died of dehydration, were if not for the kindness of the forest animals."_

 _A deer come up to flashback Mermando and start licking him._

 _"Continue licking! Oh!"_

 _Soon, Mermando falls down a pipe, through the forest, over the fence of the Gravity Falls pool, and into the pool. He gasps for air._

"But now that you know what I am, you must be seriously weirded out."

"What?! I don't care that you're a merman. You're, like, the coolest guy I've ever met. And you can play at least one chord on the guitar."

"Oh, Mabel, I have never met another human like you. Would you care to join me in a game of the Marco Polo?"

"Oh, yes, Mermando! Yes!"

Mabel crushes Mermando in a hug.

"You are covering my gills. I cannot breathe."

Mabel quickly lets go. Mermando gasps.

Mabel chuckles, "Weird."

Meanwhile, Gideon putting sunscreen on himself on the lawn chair Stan wanted.

"Ooh! (giggles) My cheeks are baby soft."

Stan is watching Gideon from afar.

Stan growls, "Look at him, that smug chair stealing jerk! But I can't touch him, or the pool patrol will throw me in pool jail. Hmm..."

The light of the sun hits Stan's watch.

"Ah!"

Stan makes an attempt to shine the light on his watch at Gideon.

"Yes. Yes! Burn the child..."

Gideon holds up his goggles, which bounces the light back into Stan's eyes.

"Aah! My eyes!"

Stan falls into the pool.

Gideon puts his goggles on. "Deal with it." Stan comes out of the water, completely enraged.

The Doctor watched afar, shrugs and looked at his sonic's readings around the area.

Soos is putting on an inflatable duck.

"Soos."

"Inflatable duck guy, is that you?" Soos was awestruck.

"Yes, Soos, I can talk."

"Oh my gosh, I knew you guys were secretly alive. I knew it!"

Wendy and Dipper are around the corner with a megaphone, looking at Soos, as they are the ones making the inflatable duck talk. They laugh and tell each other to shush quietly.

"My people have been enslaved, Soos. You must free us."

Soos was determined. "The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand."

Dipper and Wendy laugh, but suddenly they hear a whistle.

Mr. Poolcheck shouts out, "Pool's closing! Clear out everyone!"

"Poolcheck!"

"Hide!"

Mr. Poolcheck screams, "Out! Do not touch! Assistant Lifeguard!"

Dipper stops, incredibly nervous.

"Have a good night, son. I have to do something. Lock up the supplies for me."

Mr. Poolcheck takes off his hand and pats it a couple of times. A pair of keys come out of it, which Dipper nervously takes and locks up the supplies with.

Mabel and Mermando brushing each others hair, when the whistle blows.

"The pool, she closes. Can I see you tonight?"

"Sure. Where? Wanna go for a walk?"

"Merman. I am a merman."

"Oh, right. (Gets out of the pool) Then I'll be back tonight."

The Doctor meanwhile looks on-noticing Mermando and the only jailed pool boy, and certain realization hits him...

He hurries off from the scene.

* * *

At night, Mabel drives the golf cart to the pool. She climbs up the fence with a landing net. Mabel goes in the pool with Mermando.

"Look! Here's a scrapbook of human stuff. (Points at the scrapbook) Here's me standing with my legs. And here I am kicking Dipper in his legs. He couldn't move his legs after that! Can you imagine? Not having legs?"

"Let's skip this part."

Mabel points at another picture, "And here's my whole family kick boxing!"

Mermando sighs, and stays away from Mabel.

Mabel follows him. "What's wrong?"

Mermando takes his guitar out and plays it, but it doesn't sound well. He angrily pours the water out and starts to talk.

"I too, used to have a family once. back in the ocean. (opens his necklace and looks at his family's picture.) How I miss them."

"Mermando, why don't you just leave the pool?"

"I've tried only once, but escaping this pool required a plan that was bold and daring. And then the wolves came. (To Mabel, changing the topic) No, I'm glad that I'm here, 'cause I met you."

Next to Mermando, a shooting star falls down.

 _This is it, Mabel. Fist kiss moment, here we come! Just go for it!_

"What are you doing with your mouth?"

"Me? Nothing. This? I was eating some sour candy. So my lips were doing that. The candy was so sour."

"Can I have some candy?"

Mabel pauses, "No."

* * *

It becomes daytime. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland are putting suncreams on. Then, Sheriff Blubs gets trapped by a life saver fallen from the top.

"Wha-what the?"

Deputy Durland gets trapped too.

Deputy Durland cries out, "I'm scared!"

"Me too!"

They were suddenly are kidnapped and pulled into area where the pool supplies are...

Meanwhile, Dipper and Wendy are playing a game.

"One hundred points!"

"Dude! With this job, you and me are gonna be havin' fun all summer!"

Dipper blushing, "All summer?"

Mr. Poolcheck blows a whistle out of nowhere... "Pines! Here! Now!"

Dipper and Mr. Poolcheck are soon in front the pool supplies building. "You gave me your word that you would respect the safety rules of this pool! You're on the nights, boy! You wanna keep this job? Well, some maniac broke in to the supplies closet last night and destroyed our one and only pool skimmer! I want you on a stakeout. If one more supply gets taken or if this building is entered by someone else, you're fired!"

"I won't let you down!"

Meanwhile, Mabel and Mermando are at the pool.

"Mermando, get ready! I'm gonna BRING THE HEAT!"

Mermando gets hit by the ball sadly.

"Mermando, are you okay?"

Mermando swims to Mabel.

"Oh, it's your family, isn't it? Are you thinking about them?"

Mermando makes a sad dolphin sound.

"Mermando, enough is enough! I care about you too much to see you like this. We're ganna bust you out of here and get you back to your family."

"But Mabel! Escape is impossible."

"We're breaking you out of here tonight!"

Mabel hits the water which splashes.

"Oops! Sorry about that. Water."

* * *

At night, Dipper guards the pool.

"Alright, Dipper, here's the plan. Catch the trespasser, protect the supplies, keep job at pool, and eventually marry Wendy. (Dipper hears a sound) Freeze!"

Dipper turns to the place where the sound is heard. It turns out to be Stan cutting the fence.

"Grunkle Stan?"

"I-uh, I'm sleep walking! Also now I'm sleep talking. (Points at the hat) Nice hat, by the way."

"You! You're the one destroying pool supplies!"

"What? No! My crime is a lot better than that. I'm gonna get that seat and be ready at the morning when Gideon comes. And maybe I'll destory some pool supplies. Night's still young."

Dipper blows the whistle.

Stan backs off. "Yeesh, alright, I'm goin'!"

Stan walks a little, then runs to the pool.

"Hey!" Dipper follows after him.

* * *

The next day, the Doctor opens from the pool supplies building, revealing he has all pool supplies and the skimmer. "...Blubs and Durland are fine for now, luckily they weren't brought in the disguised spaceship-it's about to self-destruct...I get the trapped kid soon...and need to save-Mabel?"

On cue, from a bush, Mabel rams into the fence and appears in a golfcart. Mermando notices Mabel by the lights.

"Mabel!" Mermando swims to Mabel.

"Are you ready to see your family?"

"Yes, but how can I, a merman, possibly escape?"

"Okay, my original plan was to tape together a bunch fish sticks to make you a prosthetic pair of people legs."

"Intriguing."

"But then I realized that I could just transport you in this cooler."

Mermando leaps out of the pool. After a pause, he hops into the cooler. The Doctor puts the pool supplies in a safe area, and takes the skimmer.

Dipper approaches, "Hey! Who's there!"

"Quick! Hide me! My kind must not be seen!"

"Mabel? Doctor? Is there anyone not breaking into the pool today? What, is Soos here too?"

Mr. Poolcheck suddenly approaches to the scene, "A wrecked fence from an invading vehicle, dents in the pool mobile, and all of the supplies missing including megaphone? Who is responsible for this?!"

Dipper stammers, "Mr. Poolcheck! I can explain-

"Hand over the whistle, boy!"

Dipper hands Poolcheck the whistle, who then proceeds to put it in his mouth and crushes it with his teeth. Dipper slowly backs away.

"If one more thing goes wrong today—"

Soos throws the inflatable ducks over the fence.

"You're free now! Free! Inflatable ducks unite!"

"You!" Mr. Poolcheck was fuming.

"Huh?"

The Doctor shouts out, "Soos run! Dipper hop on-we'll explain later! Mabel drive!"

Mermando clears his throat.

"Did that cooler just clear its throat?" Dipper asks.

"Don't be silly. There certainly isn't a merman in there, if that's what you're implying. Who said anything about a merman?"

The Doctor shouts, "DRIVE!"

Mr. Poolcheck (or if that is his name) roars and chases after the fleeing golf cart, containing Mabel, Doctor, confused Dipper, and a cooler that has Mermando in it.

Stan comes out from the bathroom.

"The coast is clear. Now all I have to do is wait here 15 hours until the pool opens...(Sits on the chair) This was a good plan."

* * *

 _Insert Terminator 2 Sarah's Escape soundtrack_

Mr. Poolcheck chases the getting-away golfcart. The Doctor is pointing his sonic at the supposed angry man. Mabel is driving hurriedly to the Gravity Falls' Lake.

"DRIVE ON YOUR LIFE!" The Doctor shouts.

Mr. Poolcheck runs closer and closer.

Dipper shouts, "He's coming closer!"

The furious man jumps and racked his hands up-revealing certain blades coming out from his wrists.

"What the heck is he-?!" Dipper screams.

He rams and climbs upon the cooler, which Mermando screams.

The Doctor suddenly points the sonic at his hands, saving Mermando and "Mr. Poolcheck" falls.

Suddenly far from the chase, the pool building explodes.

Mr. Poolcheck which he lifts himself in defiance, suddenly crashes down if he was some sort of a robot losing energy which he is. He breaks down in front of a tree. Sparks falling all over.

The Doctor explains to the bewildering twins, "...Clockwork Droid! As Gravity Falls is a home to paranormal, this another hostile alien-bot came here too! Trying to kidnap people for their murderous intent!..."

Dipper then asks Mabel, "Why do you even need the cooler?" as the golf-cart stops in front of the lake.

"I needed the cooler to save my new friend because he needs to go home and he's really nice and we combed each others' hair and he needs to be in the cooler because he breathes water because he's a merman!"

Mermando rolls out of the cooler, "Hola."

"Whoa! Way to bury the lede, Mabel."

"Dipper, Doc-Mermando the merman. He's a merman."

"Nice to meet you both. Also, I think I am dying. (Gasps) Water! Agua! Yo necesito!"

"Oh, no! Mermando! Dipper, you're a lifeguard! Give him CPR, Doctor!"

"Mermen don't breathe air!"

"Then give him reverse CPR! Doi!"

The Doctor then hustles Mermando reassuringly into his arms. "Up you go, my dear boy-I got you! I got you!"

Later, the Doctor and the twins helped Mermando go into the water.

Mermando making dolphin sounds, then coughs, "I am weak from coughing. How will I get my family to hear my call from the mighty depths of the ocean?"

"I've got it. Doc? (The Doctor revealed that he grabbed a megaphone from the golf cart for this occasion) Problem solved!"

"Mabel, I have never met anyone like you."

"Same here. Except for a zombie, a gnome, and a couple of cute vampires."

Dipper comments, "I don't remember the vampires."

"I don't tell you everything, I hung out with the Doctor too. (To Mermando) Well, Mermando, I guess this is it."

"Not quite. This is!" As Mermando leaps up and kisses Mabel.

"Whoa! Okay, that's gross. Ugh." Dipper commented. The Doctor chuckles.

"That was my first kiss! Goodbye, Mermando."

"Goodbye, Mabel."

"You did the right thing, Dipper."

Dipper rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

"Oh, wait, wait! One last thing! (Runs over to Mermando) Yes! I've always wanted to do that."

* * *

The pool building is in smothers. Blubs and Durland are overlooking the scene. The pool, however, was still open.

Suddenly, a water balloon hits Dipper's face.

"Hey, doofus, you'll never guess what happened. I just got fired yesterday."

"What? Really?"

"Yeah. I guess Poolcheck found out I was taking too many snacks."

"How many?"

Wendy lifts her hat and reveals a stack of Corncorno packs. Dipper laughs.

"Hey, wanna go break rules somewhere else?"

"Of course!"

Mabel is sitting by the pool, sighs. The Doctor is using the pool skimmer free a certain boy. Then a bottle pops out from the vents. He notices, and gives to Mabel with a wink.

"Dear Mabel, I am home with my family and I am very happy. Our first kiss will always hold a place in my heart. Technically hearts. As a merman I have, like, 17 hearts. Horrifying but true! More bottles on the way!"

Bottles appear and Mabel giggles.

"Stanford! (Stan laughs) Well, guess you've won. Put 'er there."

"Hey! What the—"

"Unless perhaps I predicted your plan, and coated the entire chair with glue last night! Enjoy your chair... forever."

"Kids, get the spatulas! Kids!"

The Doctor lifts his sonic, "Hold still then..."

* * *

The pool jail boy stares up at the sky from his point of view after he was freed by the Doctor.

Little did everyone else know besides the Doctor, "Mr. Poolcheck" would have dismembered certain-held prisoners, such as Mermando and him, or recently hired employees like Dipper and Wendy for body replacements.

20-8-5 16-15-15-12 10-1-9-12 2-15-25 6-15-21-14-4 1 16-15-15-12 19-11-5-23-5-18 8-5 3-1-14 15-16-5-18-1-20-5 20-8-5 14-5-1-18-2-25 22-5-14-4-9-14-7 13-1-3-8-9-14-5 23-9-20-8. 1-12-19-15 8-5 8-1-19 1 3-18-21-19-8 15-14 20-8-5 7-9-18-12 9-14 1 16-15-15-12 19-1-6-5-20-25 19-9-7-14. 20-8-5 4-15-3-20-15-18 8-1-19 20-23-15 8-5-1-18-20-19. 22-9-22-1-14 12-15-19 16-1-20-15-19 4-5 12-1 16-9-19-3-9-14-1.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Carpet Diem**_

An eyeball is rolling into a cup.

"Hwaah! Total domination! I am the master of Attic Stuff Mini-golf! From the mighty Swiss Alps! To the badlands of Dipper's old laundry where man fears to tread!"

Dipper walks to another golf ball and prepares to hit it. "Alright, let a pro on the field, or floor. Whatever."

He hits the eyeball very hard. The eyeball bounces around the room and crashes through a window.

"Ah, my head! It hit me right in the head!" Stan shouts outside.

"Yes! Stan shot. Is that legal?"

Mabel and Dipper look at the judge, Waddles, and see him eating the score card.

"The judges say it's out of bounds."

"You're out of bounds!" As he lightly jabs Mabel in the stomach with his golf club playfully.

"Hey! Watch it!" Mabel jabs Dipper lightly too in the stomach with her golf club.

Dipper and Mabel continue jabbing each other for a few seconds until Mabel's Meow o'clock clock starts ringing.

"Hey, Dipper, I gotta go hang out with Candy and Grenda tonight."

"Aw, again? You can't leave mid-game."

"Don't be silly, I'm not leaving. My friends are coming to me!"

"Wait, what? Oh no. No no no. Sleeping bags? (Looks at sleeping bags) Rom-coms? (Looks at romantic comedies) Calling All Boys: Preteen Edition?! (Looks at the game) You're not having a—"

The door opens and shows Candy and Grenda grinning in the shadows. They walk in and interrupt Dipper and finish his sentence.

Candy Chiu and Grenda both exclaim, "Sleepover!"

Dipper screams in horror.

* * *

Mabel, Grenda, Candy, and Waddles are sitting on the floor, talking.

"Okay, so how much do you like boys?"

"So much!"

"Boys make me think about kissing!"

"Candy! Oh my gosh!" As Mabel throws a pillow at Candy which hits her in the head.

"Ow."

"We are so crazy tonight!"

Candy joins Mabel in screaming.

Grenda screams with them.

Dipper is seen on his bed with a pillow over his ears.

"Who wants to smear makeup on my face?"

"Ugh, you're already so beautiful, Grenda. What would be the point?"

Grenda starts punching the floor. "Beautiful! Beautiful!"

"Arrrrgh! Mabel! Do you think you can do this somewhere else?! You're laughing at frequencies only dogs should hear!"

Mabel replies, "Come on, it's not that bad."

"You know what your brother needs?"

Mabel gasps, "A makeover?"

Candy holds up the beauty products mischievously.

Dipper screams once more.

* * *

Dipper is seen walking in the hallway with his blanket and pillow. He walks up to the Doctor, who is coming from the attractions area...

Dipper sighs, "Hey, Doc, do you know where Soos is?"

"Oh-yes! He is around in his own small break room here about now, heavens know how he fits in...is that make-up?"

Dipper shrugs sheepishly, "Mabel and her friends are having a sleepover tonight. Me? I'm trying to a new room."

"Lalalalala! ... Disco Girls!..." Mabel and her friends are jumping up all night.

The Doctor chuckles. "Not bit surprised. But to think; there is certainly a lot of rooms around this place! Just improvise!" The Doctor jokes.

Dipper smiles by the Pines' godfather's reassurance.

* * *

The next day, Mabel wakes up in a state of confusion. She has her hair messed up with the words "PARTY GURL" written on her forehead.

"Ugh...what happened last night? Whoa!" As she sees Candy taped to the ceiling.

"What's up, party girl?"

Grenda walks out of the closet with lipstick all over her face. "I don't know what I was kissing in there, but I have no regrets!"

"Candy falls down now." As she alls from the ceiling and knocks down the Big Ben from the twins' attic stiff golf game.

"That was awesome, girls. (Fixes up her hair and waves) See you again soon!"

Candy and Grenda walks out of the room after packing up, and Dipper enters with a black eye and twigs in his hair and lays on his bed. The Doctor comes in.

"Hey, brother! Want any of this leftover pizza? It's got glitter on it!"

"Whoa! Looks a _hangover_ came along!" The Doctor joked.

"Mabel, the last night with the Doctor exploring the woods-an owl tried to eat my tongue." Dipper complained.

"Ha ha! That's great!

Dipper gets up from his bed, "No, it's not great! This (gestures to their dirty and wrecked room) is impossible to live with!"

"What? I'm delightful to live with! Get ready to be poked by the fun stick! Boop!" As she takes a stick and pokes Dipper with it.

"Ah! (Dipper slaps it out of Mabel's hand) Mabel, I've had it with the fun stick! You've totally wrecked our room. And—(gasps)—oh no! Our mini-golf course!"

"Heh heh heh, yeah. Grenda sure loves breaking things."

"Mabel, we need to lay down some ground rules if we're gonna be living in this room together. First of all, no sleepovers."

"What?! Well if I can't have sleepovers, then you can't keep me up every night with your summer reading."

"How does reading keep you up?"

"Well, books are almost like radios that wakes you till the ending-gosh, I always rip out the last page...I hate endings." The Doctor commented.

"Well, at least my braces don't whistle when I breathe." Dipper retorts.

"At least I wash my clothes once in a while." Mabel stated.

"Washing clothes is a waste of time, I'm a busy guy!"

"Then again, an appetite for shirts isn't healthy..." The Doctor reminded.

"Meow meow meow meow meow!" Mabel shouted.

"Alright if you meow one more time—"

"Meow meow meow!"

"Okay, that's it! That's the final straw! Maybe we shouldn't share a room anymore."

"Wah...uh...well maybe we shouldn't!"

"Fine by me!"

"Double fine by me!"

"Then we need to talk to Grunkle Stan about moving rooms."

"Yeah. He's a reasonable guy."

The Doctor cocks an eyebrow, "...Are you sure about that?"

* * *

"Fight, fight, fight! T.V! It knows what I want." Stan commented.

Dipper hops in, "Grunkle Stan, we want different rooms."

"Ha! And I want a pair of magic money pants. It's not gonna happen."

Mabel questions, "Magic money pants...?"

"Come on, Grunkle Stan. Can't we work something out?"

"Look kid, there's my room and the attic. That's it. What do you think, there's some kinda "secret hidden room" in the Shack?" Stan sarcastically joked.

A very loud crash is heard. The Doctor wistfully comments, "...good o'l times".

Soos shouts, "Dudes! I found another kind of secret hidden room in the Shack!"

Dipper and Mabel grin at each other.

"Okay, so I was cleaning up behind this bookcase when boom! Mystery door! This old Shack is full of weird secrets."

Stan replies, "Huh, then I thought we holed it up..."

"Whoa-hoh!"

"Classy..."

Dipper looks at a calendar.

Mabel blows the dust off a small mirror and she coughs.

Dipper looks at the tag on the shag carpet. "Experiment 78? Grunkle Stan, what is this place?"

Stan shrugs it off if he didn't know, "I don't know. Just another room I gotta clean up now." As he akes a pair of glasses off a table and puts it in his shirt.

Mabel makes snow angels in the carpet. "This carpet is amazing!"

"Yeah, if you're into things that are terrible."

Dipper sees a key hanging on the wall and grabs it. "Problem solved, I'll move in here!"

"What? Why do you automatically get the room? We both saw it at the same time." Mabel jumped in.

Stan then had a light-bulb-idea, "Wait a second. (Takes the key from Dipper) So you both want this room, huh? I guess I'll give it to whichever one of you I like more. (Unties his own shoe) Uh oh. Looks like my shoe's untied."

Dipper and Mabel look at each other for a second before attacking each other trying to tie Stan's shoe.

"Muah ha ha. To the kitchen! Fight, fight, fight!"

Stan runs to the kitchen and Dipper and Mabel let go of his shoe. They get up to follow him out the exit, but Soos blocks the door.

"Whoa! I don't know dudes, this room gives me major, creep-o vibes. Y'know, the attic is a pretty good space. Maybe you two should appreciate what you got."

Dipper and Mabel look at each other before running past Soos. The Doctor shrugs.

"Heh. Hey, what do I know? (Soos grabs a broom and starts sweeping) Maybe there's nothing creepy going on in this room."

The Doctor pinches the bridge of his nose, and looks around in his bag.

Meanwhile, the carpet's tag that says "Experiment 78," and the tag is crackling with electricity.

* * *

Dipper and Mabel are in the kitchen, elbowing each other.

Stan holds up key, "Okay, here's how it's gonna go down. Whoever sucks-up the hardest get's the key to the new room."

"Grunkle Stan, we're not gonna suck-up to you just to get the new room."

"Yeah we are!"

"Ten suck-up points for Mabel!"

"I mean—uh—yeah we are!"

"Trying too hard. Minus 15 suck-up points."

"What?"

"Good decision Grunkle Stan!"

"Trying way too hard! Plus 50 suck-up points!"

Dipper's expression darkens.

Stan holds up a bucket filled with tiles, "Now, who wants to re-tile the roof in searing 105 degree heat?"

Dipper and Mabel both scream, "Me me! I'll do it!"

Dipper runs up, takes the bucket, and runs outside. "Mabel No, Dipper, give it here!" Mabel runs after him.

"He he. Stan, you're a good uncle."

The Doctor scratches his head reflectively, frowning, "...back at my _home,_ sibling rivalries almost last centuries..."

* * *

Both Dipper and Mabel mowing the lawn while Stan watches them. Dipper stops for a second to take a break.

"Dipper, you're phoning it in!"

Dipper continues mowing.

Stan drinks lemonade. "Man, that's refreshing. 10 suck-up points for this lemonade! (Pretending to be lemonade) Thank you, Stan! (Normal voice) Oh-ho! 10 more for politeness. (Takes a sip) Oh, and so sweet!"

Dipper opens door to the room; sighs, "All these chores will be worth it when I get this room. Shag carpeting? Come on!" As he takes off shoes and begins shuffling feet on the carpet, and electricity builds up around his legs.

"Hey brother. Don't get too comfortable. I just made Stan an omelet shaped like his own face."

Stan is looking at his omelet.

"I have seen the face of beauty... "

Dipper starts circling Mabel, building up more electricity.

"Face it. I'm like a suck-up ninja. This room's as good as mine. You might as well give up now. What do you say?" As Mabel stretches out hand.

Dipper replies," I say I'm gonna win this room somehow, and when I do I'll finally have my own space... (raises hand)... and we'll never have to share anything ever again!"

The Doctor walks in upon the carpet, "Hey, guys-I think I might have a solution-!" He suddenly realizes what is going to happen next.

Dipper slaps Mabel's hand away, electrocuting Mabel on the carpet, and causing a huge glow in between all of them.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaah!"

Dipper sits up. "Ugh...what happened?"

"Dipper? Why are you wearing my clothes...and my...face?! Am I in your body?!"

"Am I in your body?!"

Both Mabel and Dipper screams.

Mabel throws up in the bathroom toilet.

Dipper runs to a mirror and is in Mabel's body. "Aaah! (Runs off, but runs back soon after) Aaah!"

Mabel punching Dipper's stomach. "Get out, get out, get out!"

"This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening..."

Mabel's shadow is seen on the wall and she screams.

The Doctor quickly tries to reassures them, "Kids! Kids! Calm Down! Calm Down! This isn't like the swapping with Amy, Peri, and an old friend! Boy, I think I need a Hyperscape Body Swap ticket again; ever since the Royal Albert Hall prom..."

* * *

Later, Dipper and Mabel looking at their new, swapped bodies in the mirror. The Doctor is scratching his head.

"Great! Just what we need, more Gravity Falls weirdness."

"This is stupid! Sharing a room was bad enough, now we're sharing bodies?"

"A moral of a lesson ironic twist?" The Doctor tries to help.

"Ugh, braces are horrible. It's like my mouth hates me. And what are these things?" As he pokes Mabel's loose hair.

"I don't know why you're so sweaty, and awkward."

Dipper points, "Hey look. Experiment 78. (Walks over to the tag on the carpet, and turns it around. On the back it says "Electron Carpet") Electron Carpet. Atoms can swap electrons. This carpet must build up a static charge so powerful it can swap minds! (Starts clicking pen) It was the static electricity! Maybe we can use it to switch back!"

"Phew, ho ho! Glad I'm switching back. If I was you I would totally lose the contest."

Dipper then adds in, "And if I was you, which I am, I could sabotage myself! Then Mabel would lose all her points and the room would go to Dipper!"

"Wait, what?"

The Doctor facepalms, "Another point for sibling rivalries..."

"Oh Stan! I've always hated you! Ha ha, see who he gives the room to now!"

"No! Wait! (Mabel begins to chase him but trips) Tie your shoes!"

Stan finishes eating his omelet, "Mm! Those cannibals are onto something. I taste delicious!"

"Grunkle Stan!"

"What's the word, Mabel?"

"That's right. It's me - (tucks hair behind her ear) - Mabel. If ya like that omelet you'll love this! A sandwich made out of rocks!" As Dipper in Mabel's body pulls out a rock sandwich and gives it to Stan.

"Candy rocks?"

Dipper in Mabel's body shakes head, "Regular rocks."

"Keep that up and I'll be giving your brother this key."

"Ha ha! I mean, darn."

Mabel comes in with Dipper's body, "Hey Grunkle Stan! Your face looks like a butt!"

"What?"

"Breaking stuff is so much fun, I am Dipper and I stink!" As Mabel in Dipper's body kicks the oven and bottles around.

"Mabel's gone bananas! Zing! Zow! Ballow!"

Stan gets up and walks away, "Well this is gettin' weird."

"Wait! Are you gonna dock Mabel points?"

"Dipper should lose all his points!"

Mabel starts to chase him, but Dipper tackles her.

"Grunkle Stan!"

The Doctor runs in, "Oy, guys!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Waddles is rubbing against the carpet in the room, with Soos vacuuming nearby. The Doctor runs in.

"Waddles, you got it good, bro. You got no worries. I mean, nobody thinks it's cute when I lie naked on the living room floor. I wish I could be a pig."

"SOOS! WHATEVER YOU DO-DON'T-"

However it was too late, when he rubs Waddles' head, the electrons are swapped, and they swap bodies.

Soos looks around in Waddles' body, "Yes! I should do out loud wishing more often. (Sniffs) Is that a corn cob I spy? (Climbs up the couch and out the window) I got little legs."

Waddles looks around confused, as now he is in Soos' body, and tries to walk out the door. He hits it 3 times before leaving the room. The Doctor quickly follows him. Waddles walks into the gift shop and looks at the vending machine. He licks the glass cover and makes the postcard stand fall. Wendy then walks in.

"Hey Soos, what's up? Have you seen my—"

Waddles in Soos' body chews on a t-shirt. The Doctor tries to tug him off.

"Uh, I'll come back later..."

* * *

"Grunkle Stan, come back! I have more terrible things to do! You're toast, Mabel! That room's as good as mine!" Dipper in Mabel's body runs off, but crashes into Grenda.

"There you are, Mabel!"

Candy comes in, "Attack her with love!"

"Yeah!"

"Sleepover!"

"What!? No! No no no!" Dipper in Mabel's body panicked.

Grenda carries Candy and Dipper who is in Mabel's body up the stairs.

Mabel in Dipper's body, runs after them, "Dipper? Hey, wait! Come back!"

Grenda runs into the twin's old room.

"Wait, come back! Hey, um, can I talk to my... sister, for a sec?"

"This is a sleepover, buddy. No boys allowed!"

Mabel looks in through the keyhole.

"Look guys, I'm not really in a sleepover mood right now. One of my, irrational girl mood swings, you know. Right? Don't we have those?"

"Come on, my mom's age inappropriate romance novels aren't gonna read themselves. Ooh! "Wolfman Bare Chest."

"Uh, really. I should probably, uh—"

Grenda grabs Dipper who is in Mabel's body and puts him on the bed, "Come on! You know you love it! "My name is Gerard. I am a werewolf, creature of the night. But I am also a creature of passion."

"Oh."

Mabel comments outside, "Gerard is just so fierce."

Stan comes along, "What's going on, Dipper?"

Mabel gasps and tries to cover the keyhole where she was looking in.

Stan jumped to conclusions, "Ah, you're at that creepy age where you spy on girls, huh? Guess it's time you and me had a man to man talk. About the birds and the bees, you know? Like our family's friend, Doc would say; human private-y stuff! What's was about the balloon again?"

Mabel in Dipper's body frowns.

* * *

Soon, Stan is putting a book called Why Am I Sweaty? on his desk

"I—I should really be goin—"

"No way out of it! Look. It all begins with this little fella. The pituitary gland. He may be little, but he has BIG PLANS."

Mabel in Dipper's body screams.

Meanwhile, Soos walking through the town in Waddles' body.

"I wonder what frolicking adventures I'll stumble into. (Stops in front of a mud puddle) A mud puddle! Do I dare live out the cliche? (Jumps into the puddle) Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Old Man McGucket walks down the street, "McGucket, McGucket, McGucket, wow!"

"I'm a pig! Oink oink, right?"

"Free meal..." As he pulls a knife and a fork out of his beard.

"No! Don't eat me! I'm a man trapped in a pig's body!"

"That's what they all say..."

Soos runs away, "Help! Police!"

Deputy Durland comments nearby, "A bearded witch chasing a talking pig!"

"My horoscope came true." Blubs adds in.

"Now read mine!"

"What are you, Gemini?"

"You knew?"

"Yeah, of course I knew!"

* * *

Soon, Stan closes the "Why Am I Sweaty?" book.

"And now you know where babies come from!"

Mabel whispers, "Goodbye childhood..."

"You know, I find you more likable today than usual. Maybe you could still win that game after all."

"Huh?"

"I was gonna give that new room to Mabel—"

"No, you should! Give it to Mabel... you. big. jerk!"

Stan was stunned, "What did you say to me?"

"I said, uh, shut up old man! You're fat and dumb and you're a dummy and, take that!" As Mabel in Dipper's body lightly punches Stan on the arm.

Stan glares then chuckles, "Finally "Stan'n" up to me, huh? Ha ha! I love it! You know, I made up my mind! (Takes out the key) The room belongs to you. Dipper."

"You can't! You have to give it to Mabel!"

"Ssh. (Hugs Mabel in Dipper's body) You had me at "shut up old man."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Meanwhile, Grenda finishing up "Wolfman Bare Chest."

"The end."

"Phew." Dipper in Mabel's body commented.

"Now for the 38 sequels!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The Doctor runs in where the twins were supposedly separated, "GUYS? Have you seen Soos and Waddles?!"

* * *

"I'm gonna make you into bacon..."

"Hey, that sounds pretty good! Wait, I mean, NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Soon, Dipper runs down the hallway, "Gotta win the room. Stan! It's me, Mabel! I'm doing things you hate!"

Mabel sighs, "It's over, Dipper. Stan gave you the room." As she opens her hand up and reveals the key.

"Ha ha! Yes! Alright! (Raises her hand and leg in the air, but he realizes it, and lowers them awkwardly) Well, let's switch bodies then and I can start moving in."

"Wait a minute. You can't have the room... if you can never get in!"

"Hey, come back!"

Mabel runs into the room and closes the door.

"Come on! (Bangs on the door) Arrgh! Open the door, Dipper! I mean, Mabel. (Face palms and sits down) How am I ever gonna get in there? (Gets an idea) Hmm..."

* * *

Mabel sitting on the ground writing on a sign that says "NO BOYS, NO GIRLS, NO BOYS ALLOWED"

Candy and Grenda knock on the door, "It's Candy and Grenda!"

"Friends! (Opens door) Hey guys, what's up?"

Dipper walks up behind Candy and Grenda.

"Dipper! Wa—wait! Don't let him in here—"

Candy and Grenda shout out, "Makeovers again!"

"No no, wait stop!"

Mabel slips on her piece of paper and Candy and Grenda begin putting on blush, lipstick and mascara.

"We're gonna make you MORE hot!"

"No! Wait! Stop! Guys, you have to listen to me!"

Grenda puts more blush on Mabel within Dipper's body.

"No!"

Dipper with Mabel's body; "Good job ladies. Now let me just add one... (starts walking over, building up electricity) ...final... (raises hand) ...touch..."

Dipper touches Mabel's nose causing the atoms to swap electrons again, switching their bodies back.

"Oh oh."

"Ah my body. (Takes out the key) I'm a genius, ha ha! Ugh. (Wipes off the makeup) Alright, Mabel. The room is mine!"

"Wait, hold on here. What just happened?"

The Doctor comes in, "...Couldn't find dear Soos and good o'l Waddles-Hey! You are both back again!"

Mabel sighs, "I barely understand it. All I know is that if you shuffle your feet on this carpet, you can switch bodies or whatever."

Candy gets up and begins to shuffle feet, "Zip, zap."

"Oh NO!"

Candy touches Dipper's nose, switching the electrons and switching bodies.

"Aw, come on!"

"I am a boy now! Wassup, bro. Let's grow some mustaches."

"Dipper, give me that key back!" As Mabel runs up to Dipper and tries to get the key.

"Guys, guys! Stop fighting!" The Doctor quickly tries to break up the argument, but realizes he's on the carpet. He quickly jumps for obvious reasons.

Suddenly, they built up electricity and they swap bodies, so that Dipper is in Grenda's, Grenda's is in Mabel's, Candy is in Dipper again, and Mabel is in Candy's.

"Oh no! Then again, I like having muscles for once."

"Wow, now I have tiny little doll hands!"

"Everybody look. Swap back in (Everyone starts building up electricity, the Doctor prepares to jump) 3, 2..."

Soos runs in with Waddles' body, "Oh dudes!"

McGucket comes after him, "Come back! I wanna deep fry your ears!"

Everyone in the room switches bodies; they start yelling. The Doctor tires to maintain order.

"Hey, no! Give me my body back!... ow ow"

Grenda in McGucket's body, "Cool! I'm Santa Claus."

McGucket in Candy's body, "WOOEE! Haha! I've regained my innocence!"

Dipper in Waddles' body; sighs, "Well, I guess I'm a pig now, so, that's a thing (grabs apple) Om nom nom."

Soos in Grenda's body, "This body's not that different from my old one."

Sheriff Blubs comes in with Durland, "We've got some reports of excessive gigglin'."

Candy and Grenda in Dipper and McGucket's bodies laugh and run into each other, causing them to swap bodies with Blubs and Durland.

"My horoscope didn't say anything about this."

"AHH! What's happenin' to me?! (Runs into wall) Ow! (runs into wall again) Ooh!"

Candy in Blub's body; admiring herself in the mirror, "I am a police officer now!"

"Let's go bust some perps, Candy!" Grenda adds in as Durland.

"Give me that key, Mabel!" Dipper said in Waddles' body.

Mabel in her own body, "Never!" They bump into people several times and switch bodies. The Doctor quickly chases after them, while trying to not swap bodies.

Dipper in his own body, "Mabel, are you you?"

"Yeah, I'm me."

"Well I've got the key!"

Mabel chases Dipper up to the attic away from the carpet and they fight over the key.

"Mabel, the room is mine! Give it to me!"

"WELP! That's Enough!" The Doctor then approaches and funnily holds Dipper and Mabel up using both arms.

"What's with you? Why do you need that room so bad? I never even wanted to move out!" As Mabel is held by the Doctor.

"Me either!" As Dipper is held also by the Doctor.

"Wait, what? Say that again?"

"I—I never wanted to move out."

"Then what was all this?"

"Everything was fine until you started bringing your friends around every night. I mean, hanging out with you this summer's been fun. But, now you're always with Candy and Grenda, and I'm... like... just, left behind."

"Aww, Dipper."

"It's okay. I've just been having a hard time, you wouldn't understand what I'm going through."

"You're probably feeling awkward and sweaty, huh?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"Here. I won't fight you for it." As hanging Mabel passes hanging Dipper the key.

"Thanks."

The Doctor slowly lowers the twins down, and pats them on the shoulder fondly, "...I am quite glad both you guys made it up well...I hope I can say the same for others..."

* * *

"Well it looks like everyone's back to normal... Except for Soos, who may be a pig permanently...?"

Soos is chewing on door frame, "Oh no, I changed back. At least I think I did."

McGucket comes up from behind Soos with fork and knife, "I'll still eat ya."

The Doctor interrupts, crossing his arms, "AH-em."

Fiddleford sheepishly puts the utensils back in his beard.

The Doctor smiles fondly, "...hey, I was wondering about certain events I can discuss with you...how's your mind?..."

Meanwhile, Waddles walks under Soos' leg.

"I guess being a pig wasn't that great after all. Hey, let me get that spot you can never reach."

Waddles grunts, doorbell rings. Soos answers door.

A lady is out there, "Hey, I've been thinking, and the answer is yes, I will marry you!"

"Wait, I don't remember anything about—(woman kisses him) Oh—alright."

Dipper is moving into the new room. "Ah, there."

"Ah, a man and his own space." Stan comes in.

"That's right. Finally."

Stan points to carpet, "So what are you gonna do with this familiar thing?"

"Give it to Doc".

Stan smiles nervously, "Haha! You got it. (Picks up carpet and leave room) Yeesh, this carpet's ugly. Hey, Doc-we can finally put this somewhere..."

Dipper gets into bed, "Ah. Finally, my own room. Good night Mabel." However, looks to the left, remembers that she's still in the attic.

Mabel in the attic, "Good night Dipper." Then looks to right, remembers that he's in the new room, and turns over.

 _History often repeats itself..._

Someone knocks on door; Mabel gets up and answers.

"Hey, um. Do you want to have a sleepover?"

Mabel smiles, "FORE!" As she wings a golf club.

Dipper laughs and hits the ball. It crashes outside the window again.

Stan shouts, "Ahh! Why does this happen now at night with you guys!?" Outside, The Doctor and Fiddleford are heard laughing.

Mabel and Dipper laugh.

* * *

"So what are you gonna do with that new room?"

"I gave it to Soos to replace that horrible break room he has. Hey, do you know what the deal was with that lady?"

Mabel shrugs.

20-8-5 4-15-3-20-15-18 11-14-15-23-19 20-8-1-20 8-9-19 3-15-14-19-3-9-15-21-19-14-5-19-19 3-1-14'20 2-5 8-1-14-4-12-5-4 2-25 8-21-13-1-14-19. 16-21-2-5-18-20-25 9-19 20-8-5 7-18-5-1-20-5-19-20 13-25-19-20-5-18-25 15-6 1-12-12 1-12-19-15: 7-15 15-21-20-19-9-4-5 1-14-4 13-1-11-5 6-18-9-5-14-4-19. 2-21-20 23-8-15 19-20-15-12-5 20-8-5 13-25-19-20-5-18-25 3-1-16-5-18-19 19-20-15-18-25'19 12-1-19-20 16-1-7-5?


	17. Chapter 17

_**Boyz Crazy!**_

The Mystery Shack Gift Shop's security feed has Stan talking to a customer. Wendy and Dipper are voicing over what they say.

"Do you have this T-shirt in my size?"

"I have something even better! Behold: My butt!"

Dipper and Wendy laugh, the latter is holding a packet of chips.

Dipper whispers, _"I could play this game forever."_

"What'd you say?"

"Coughing! I was coughing! Those weren't words!"

Mabel laughs, "This is fun, what you two have."

"Mabel? How long have you been standing there?"

"Don't worry about that. Let's talk about why I'm doing this dance! Do-do-do-do-do..."

"Oh, no! She got into the Smile Dip again!"

"Wrong one-thousand! It's because today is the greatest day of my life!"

Mabel throws a calendar at Dipper's face.

"Ow!

"Sev'ral Timez is playing at the Gravity Falls Civic Center and Buffet!"

"Ugh. Sev'ral Timez? Aren't they that boy band that came a decade too late?"

Mabel is standing posed with her arms crossed.

"Mabel, you know all those boy bands are fake, right?"

Mabel has started dancing.

Wendy adds in, "Dipper's right. They're just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry."

Mabel pouts, "You're making my dance sad..."

Mabel stops dancing.

Dipper snorts, "There's probably a machine that mass-produces them."

"Oh ho, or maybe the boys are grown from pods." Wendy jokes.

Dipper and Wendy bursts into laughter.

"Yeah, pods, totally!"

"You guys can't ruin this for me. Mabel's got back up!"

Grenda and Candy enter the shop.

"Hey guys!"

"Chiu Woot-woot!"

"Who's ready for the greatest night of our lives? How many times am I gonna love ya?"

Mabel, Grenda, Candy shout together, "Sev'ral times!"

The three laugh and run off. They quickly pass by the Doctor who is walking from the blue box attraction...

"Ugh. Girls." Dipper stated.

"I know, right?" Wendy jokingly adds in.

The Doctor smirks, "...Please-it is the _brilliance_ you should know about..."

* * *

Soon, Dipper and Wendy sees Robbie in the gift shop.

Dipper pretends as Robbie, "Hey, is this the fingerless glove store? I like things that are dumb. I'm Robbie."

Dipper and Wendy laugh.

"C'mon man..."

Robbie soon meets Wendy, "Ha ha ha ha ha. Laugh it up, chief. So Wendy, Nate and his girlfriend are going to Lookout Point this weekend. Maybe we should go too?"

"Are you kidding me? First you stand me up last night! And instead of apologizing, you want me to go to Lookout Point?!"

Dipper nervously stated, "I'll just be... over here..."

Dipper backs out of the room to the "Employees Only" door and eavesdrops on their conversation from there.

"Look, Robbie... (sighs) I'm not sure this relationship's working. Maybe I should see other people."

Dipper, ecstatic, grabs Waddles who was sitting behind him and hugs the pig tightly.

"W-Whoa h-hey! Before you do anything crazy, I- I uh... I want you to hear this."

Robbie reaches into his pocket and pulls out a CD from a suspicious looking case.

"I hope this works..."

He pulls the CD close to his face, and it glistens. He smirks while his eyes shoot to Wendy behind him. Dipper, still peeking in, raises an eyebrow. Robbie puts the CD in a player.

"I wrote this song just for you..."

He presses play and begins singing a song.

 _"When I think about you: I feel feelings so deep. I'm tossing and turning. And you know I'm losing sleep. And I know I'm going crazy. When I look into your eyes. Just listen to this song. And you'll be hypnotai-ai-ai-zed."_

As Robbie sings the final words of the song, Wendy went wide eyed.

Wendy rubs her eyes, "Y'know, maybe I was being a little hasty. I'll give you another chance."

"Yes, alright!"

Wendy kisses Robbie on the cheek much to Dipper's shock.

"Mwah. Let me go grab my coat."

Wendy leaves through the "Employees Only" door.

"Alright Robbie, I saw that weird CD. What the heck are you up to?"

Robbie retorts, "It's called romance, kid. Something you'd never understand."

Dipper growls angrily. Wendy comes back.

"You ready? I can't believe you wrote that for me."

"I know, I'm just so insanely talented."

Robbie and Wendy leave. Dipper is left alone still shocked, before he turns to the CD player and pulls out the CD Robbie left behind.

""Hm...

Dipper inspects the CD, sniffs it, and licks it.

"Say-what are you doing?" The Doctor asks questioningly.

* * *

"Doctor, the weirdest thing just happened. I think Robbie might be hypnotizing Wendy with his music."

"That is possible; I tend to make people to dance like a chicken!"

Stan is singing in the kitchen, "Stockin' meat for the apocalypse, doodly-doo. We're all gonna die."

Dipper stares down at the CD he's holding and paces up and down the kitchen."

"What's with the pacing, kid? You look even more freaked out than usual.

"Um, I dunno... You wouldn't understand."

"Aw, c'mon kid. (Stan pulls Dipper into a chair) Try me."

The Doctor chuckles.

"Ok. This is gonna sound weird, but I think Robbie might be brainwashing Wendy with music."

Stan agrees, "I've seen this before."

"Really?"

Stan explains, "Her name was Carla McCorkle. Carla "Hotpants" McCorkle. Me and Carla baby would cut a rug together at The Juke Joint, our favorite 50's themed, 1970's diner. Then one day, this new age tree hugger starts playing this transcendental hippie music. Carla's hotpants turned into bellbottoms before I even knew what happened. My memories get a little hallucination-y at the end, but you get the gist."

"So, wait... you and Doc actually believe my theory?"

"You're darn right I do. And we're gonna get to the bottom of it-"

Dipper smiles, encouraged.

"-Right after I get to the bottom of this brown meat."

Stan upturns the can of meat he was holding and hits the back of the can so the meat falls in his mouth.

"Om, nom, it's apocolicious!"

The Doctor scratches his head, "...Well...it is the year of _2012_ , isn't it?"

* * *

Stan explains, "Y'see, Dipper, music has sublimnal mind control hidden in it all the time. If you listen closely, even the music I play in the Gift Shop has subtle hidden messages. If you wanna hear the mind controlling messages, you gotta slow down the record. Gimme that LP."

Stan grabs the CD from Dipper and puts it on a record player. It just scratches the CD which discharges little sparks of electricity.

"Oh, right."

"We're doin' something wrong here, but I can't put my finger on it..."

The Doctor perks his eyebrows, and suddenly realizes. "Oh, so that makes sense! All you have to do-"

Mabel, Grenda, and Candy are abruptly shoving a large sports bag into the Shack. Mabel groans with the effort.

Dipper asks, "Hey, guys. How was the concert, and what's in the bag?"

"Uh... money! Money we stole!"

"We are criminals! We will cut you!"

"Let's go away from here now!"

The girls pull and shove the bag up the stairs and the band members inside the bag yelp at every other step. Dipper and Stan watch them and look at each other questioningly. The Doctor shrugs, and continues, "-is to make it-"

Wendy and Robbie then enters.

"Hey Doc, Dip. Forgot my keys."

Robbie jokes, "What's up, junior! How are you doing? Trying to come up with an equation to make girls like you? HA!"

"Ready to go to look out point?" Wendy asks.

"Am I! Later, dorks. Catch ya on the rewind. Heh, I made that up."

Robbie and Wendy soon leave.

Stan shakes his fist. "I'll rewind your face, skinny jeans!"

"Wait a minute. Stan, I think Doc meant to rewind!"

"Excellent observation, Dipper!" The Doctor stated.

Dipper turns the record backwards and this time another message can be heard.

 _"You are under my control. Your mind is mine."_

Stan spits soda accidentally onto the Doctor's grimaced face, "Holy mackerel! Now there's your spit-take!"

"Ha ha! I knew it! It's mind control after all! Oh no, I've got to save Wendy!" Dipper panics.

"Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face. Let's roll! I'll get the Stan-o-mobile ready!"

Dipper and Stan exit the back door. The Doctor shakes his face off from the soda spitted out, and used an usual handkerchief to clean his face. "Goodness, that was a mouthful...I will follow later..."

Mabel walks down the stairs and into the kitchen where Grenda and Candy are watching TV.

"How'd it go up there?"

Candy sighs, "Oh, I finally got them to sleep. Poor Greggy C. He tried to eat a tape dispenser."

"Say what now?" The Doctor interrupts.

Suddenly, Shandra Jimenez appears on TV.

 _"The music industry was shaken today at the news that boy band king, Ergman Bratsman, has been arrested. He was pulled over tonight for not having a rear license plate."_

 _"I'm telling ya, the goat took it!"_

 _"That's what they all say."_

 _"He is now in county jail, awaiting trial."_

Grenda shouts, "Yes!"

"We have to tell the boys they are free now."

The Doctor quirks an eyebrow, "What boys?"

Mabel laughs nervously, "Oh...Nothing..."

Grenda and Candy giggle happily as they run up the stairs to the attic. Mabel runs to block them from the bedroom door.

"Not so fast! They're not going anywhere."

Grenda and Candy gasps. The Doctor tags along.

"What's the dealio, Mabel? That evil producer is gone. We have to tell the boys."

"Wait, girls. Let's not be so hasty. I mean, think about it. If we don't tell the boys, then they can stay here with me—I mean, with us."

"Mabel, we can't keep them here forever."

"But I love them!"

"If you loved them, you'd set them free."

"Never! Every boy I've loved this summer has left me! And I'm not gonna let it happen again!"

"Um-Doc; no time to explain, but Candy, we gotta get past Mabel. She's gone boy crazy!"

Mabel huffs, teeth bared, "BOYS!"

The Doctor then suddenly brows his eyebrows, and took a knee to Mabel's height. He stared into now Mabel's present-confused look.

"Mabel...I can guess what is happening here...you are doing the right thing, and it is not too late to continue to do it now...whatever when I was alone, I can say that I'm very scared...I am very...very scared. But I can relate to it Mabel...sometimes the feeling of losing such people is way too big..." He sighs, "...I am sick of losing people...I always can imagine...rising so _higher_ than before...then _falling_ down so much further..."

* * *

After a brief consideration, Mabel soon bid a heartfelt good-bye for now freed, happy Sev'ral Times band, who are later given with certain resources to start a new life in the town by the Doctor.

"Hey guys. I'm sorry I went bonkers. Doc made me realize, that you were right. Can you ever forgive me?"

Grenda replies, "Of course!"

Candy adds in, "Friendship, repaired."

The three hug. The Doctor similes. The Sev'ral Timez soon exit the Shack.

Leggy P. sings, "What's going on, Mabel girl?"

Chubby Z. chimes in, "You said you had something you wanted to show us or some deal?"

"Yup. This!" As Mabel gestures to outside and rising sun.

The band gasps to varying degrees.

"Yo, dog who is this big, round, bright, fool?"

"That, Chubby Z., is the sun." Mabel informed.

"That fool is makin' my eyes hurt straight painful! I'm gonna stare that fool down! (stares at the sun till his eyes water.) Aaauuugh!"

Deep Chris replies, "Yo, yo, hold up. What's this big green mess?"

"That's nature, Deep Chris. Bratsman won't bother you anymore. You can do anything you wanna do, go anywhere you wanna go. You're free!"

"Fa-ree?"

Mabel says, "Free! You're free! It means you can skedaddle! (sobs and picks up a stick and hits their leg) Now go! Go!"

They hesitantly walk forward and turn to look back at Mabel.

"Get out of here before I change my mind!"

They walk toward the bushes and sing a final refrain before disappearing into them.

Sev'ral Timez singing happily, "Goodbye girl."

Suddenly Stan shouts from the behind of the Shack, "DOC! I THINK I GOT THE CAR READY!"

* * *

Soon, the Stanmobile with Stan, Dipper, and The Doctor are driving quickly down a road.

"We gotta warn Wendy about the song before she get's brainwashed!"

"Road safety laws, prepare to get ignored!" Stan drives through a blocked road.

"OOOHHH!" The Doctor comments.

Meanwhile, Wendy and Robbie are at Lookout Point.

"Huh, weird, Nate didn't show up. So I- I guess it's just you and me. This isn't what I was planning at all."

The Stanmobile drives straight up the cliff edge to Lookout Point. Dipper runs out while Stan falls out.

"Wha-o! Oof."

Dipper shouts, "Wendy!? Stop! Robbie's been lying to you!"

"Dipper?"

"Kid? Mr. Pines? Dr. Houston?"

"That's Mr. Pines to you!" Stan shouts.

"What? That's what I just said..."

"Look, Wendy, you've got to hear this. There's a message in there. I swear!"

Robbie was startled, "Let me just... close the window."

"Wait, wait! Here." Dipper raises the volume. The Doctor cocks his neck to the revelation.

 _"You are under my control. Your mind is mine."_

"Woah. Robbie, what's that doing in our song?"

"Baby, I promise. I don't know anything about those messages. In fact, I didn't even write that song. I ripped it off some other band! So, we're all good, right?"

"No, we're not all good! I don't care about the messages. You said you wrote that song for me, and I actually thought it was sweet, you big liar."

"I know, I know. I lie about a lot of stuff. Like using your makeup and fighting a bear, although-"

"No! You know what? It's over, Robbie. We're through!"

"What?! Wendy!"

"Goodbye!" Wendy stomps out and slams the van door. The Doctor scratches his head, "...wasn't expecting these events, though..."

"Haha! We won! Doc, kid, this is a victory for every guy whose hands are too weak or fat to play a musical instrument."

The Doctor shrugs, "Well, it wouldn't hurt to try certain instruments..."

"I couldn't have done it without you, Grunkle Stan." Dipper said.

Dipper and Stan high fives, "Ha!"

Then Dipper tries to run up to Wendy, but saw the Doctor comforting heartbroken Wendy. Realizes this isn't the best time...

"Oh, man." As Robbie buries face into steering wheel.

"Look, if it makes you feel any better, the apocalypse is coming soon. Bury your gold! ...You've been buying gold, right?" Stan comment.

Dipper looks at his tape forlornly and ashamed.

* * *

Later, Stan, the Doctor, and Dipper sitting in the living room.

"Women. They're the real mystery, Dip. You ruin their date, drive their hippie boyfriend's van into a ravine... and somehow you're the "bad guy."

Dipper states regretfully, "No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have meddled in Wendy's personal life. She probably hates me now."

"Ah, chin up, kid. You were tryin' to do the right thing. Even though you destroyed a relationship and part of my car."

Dipper mopes, "You think she'll ever forgive me?"

"Ah, I bet she will. And until then, you can always go bowling with me, your sister, and Doc."

"Thanks, Grunkle Stan."

"Don't mention it, kid."

The Doctor wistfully comments while staring down at this Yale blue sweater knitted by Mabel while drinking handmade tea, "Sometimes I wonder about my large number of siblings...my genetic reviving girl...the sapling...poor Miranda...well, at least Susan is safe with John and Gillain-(I often wonder if they are real)...same with Miranda's girl...but how I lost Patience...Scarlette was clever...Bess almost "offed my head off"...poor Cleo and Ms Monroe..."

Stan and Dipper looked at the Doctor.

He assures them, "...But, often times...I can sometimes hear the _river sing_..."

* * *

 _"Gurl, you got me actin' so cray cray!"_

 _"CRAY CRAY!"_

 _"You tell me that you won't be my ba-bay!"_

 _"We're non-threatening girl!"_

 _"YEAH!"_ Sev'ral Timez sung enthusiastically in their new town home-turned-into-a-popular-music-store. Meanwhile, Stan is shouting about "handsome men" are scavenging The Mystery Shack's garbage.

1-12-5-24 8-9-18-19-3-8 19-1-25-19: 8-1-16-16-25 14-15-23, 1-18-9-5-12?

9-13-13-15-18-20-1-12 1-3-20-15-18-19 1-18-5 15-21-20 20-8-5-18-5, 3-15-13-16-1-18-5 16-8-15-20-15-19 1-14-4 16-15-18-20-18-1-9-20-19.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Land Before Swine**_

Just as usual, Sheriff Blubs is messing around with fellow officer, Deputy Durland. "...Focus, Deputy. Remember your training. Easy...easy..."

Deputy Durland is trying a children's maze game.

"You're almost there!"

Durland somehow skips the treasure chest and lands into the mouth of the shark, "Dang it! I almost got the treasure!"

"The time we spend together is treasure enough. (A rumbling starts) Hey, you feel that?"

Huge claws tear through and rip the roof off the car.

"Reckon' we should report that?"

"Or go for a ride in our new convertible!"

"Whoooooooooo!"

"Yeaaaaaah!"

They drive away while a roar is heard and a Pterodactyl flies past the moon.

* * *

As usual, the Doctor is on the front porch, thinking through his memories on certain topics and above all looking out at the forest...

Meanwhile, Stan is giving out tour on the Mystery Cart.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Continuing our Mystery Tour you'll see the world famous Outhouse of Mystery! I got stuck in there once!"

"Could I go to the bathroom?"

"Save all questions until after the tour. And up ahead if you look really closely, everybody get your cameras you're gonna wanna see this."

Back at the Mystery Shack, Mabel and Waddles are looking out the window.

"Finally, Waddles, we have the whole house to ourselves! What do you think? Dance party?"

Waddles oinks.

"I'm not hearing a no!"

Mabel flips the sign from open to closed, turns on the volume of the radio, and the words "PIG DANCE PARTY" appear. Mabel dances by herself and with Waddles. They eat popsicles off the floor, Mabel squishes Waddles' face, they wear sunglasses and take pictures, eat books, and dance on the floor and table.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...yes...yes. (falls on the ground and Waddles licks her fingers) Uh oh! Cuddle time! (Waddles comes over and cuddles with her) Waddles, can I tell you a secret? You're my favorite pig in the whole world."

Stan walks in, counting money. "Heh heh! Aah! Mabel? What are ya doing on the floor?"

"Being cute and great!" As Mabel squishes her and Waddles' faces together.

Stan puts his glasses on. "And I thought your brother and Doc was weird."

"No. Dipper is more like-" as she puts on one of the hats Dipper wears and tries to mock his voice, "Aaah! Let's solve a mystery! I kiss a pillow with Wendy's face drawn on it!"

"Ha ha ha. That's pretty good. Kissin' a pillow."

Waddles starts chewing on Stan's pants.

"Go, go! Chew that pant leg!"

"Ugh! (Stan raises his leg and Waddles tears off a piece of his pants) Alright! (opens window) Outside! Now!"

"No! Grunkle Stan! It's not safe for Waddles outside! There's predators! And "barbecuers!"

"That's just the natural order! It's not my fault your pig's potentially delicious!"

"He should be inside like a person."

"People don't roll around in their own filth. Except for Soos."

"And we're the lesser for it. Maybe we're the ones who should be put outside. Huh? Huh? Think about it! Hmph!" As she walks out of the gift shop.

The Doctor pokes his head in. "Funnily enough, she's right you know" he adds with a wink.

* * *

Soon, the Doctor, Dipper, and Soos are in the forest, sitting on Soos's truck.

"Today's the day, Soos. Thanks for coming along on this mission."

Soos sweats like crazy, "Dude it's an honor. Today I'm sweating from heat and excitement! Hoo!"

"There's something hiding in these woods. Doc and I have our suspicions. Something big enough to rip the roof off a car. If we get a photo of this thing we'll be heroes!"

The Doctor chuckles. "Yeah...something big is going around here-like to check it out!"

Soos adds in, "Yeah we'll get all the babes. You'll be fending off smooches with a stick!"

"Ha ha, shut up, man." Dipper jokingly replies.

"With a stick, dude!"

"Here, give me a boost."

Soon, the Doctor, Soos, and Dipper tie 3 cameras to 3 trees. Soos slides down to a branch where Dipper is drinking Pitt Cola.

"Oof! Got it. Is sap supposed to be this sticky?"

"If everything goes according to plan, the creature will grab that steak, cross through the string, and set off cameras A, B, and C."

"And nothing can go wrong. High five guys!"

Soos and Dipper high five at each out but they get stuck.

"This was poorly planned..."

A roar is heard, a wind rushes through, and the cameras take pictures rapidly. Soos and Dipper with the Doctor look at it and the steak is gone, and the ropes are broken. Dipper and Soos give each other a huge smile.

* * *

Soon, Dipper is in his bedroom, converted to a dark room for the film.

"C'mon, c'mon! Hmm... (he lifts up a picture of the pterodactyl's wing) That's a wing! If camera B got the wing, then the one that should have gotten the rest is... camera C! (He runs over to another picture being developed. The photo starts to appear) The creature!"

Soos comes in, opening the door loudly.

"Who wants victory nachos?"

The picture of the creature fades away.

"NO!" As Dipper picks up the photo and frowns. "Gosh, darn...wondering if the Doctor might help me..."

"Dude don't worry. I only ate like a third of them. Half of 'em. I ate all of them, dude!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Stan is taking Waddles outside the Mystery Shack.

"Just ten minutes without this pig in the house. (Starts tying Waddles to a peg) Is that so much to ask? (Hammers the peg to the ground) There. Mabel asks, this never happened. (Places a bill in Waddles' rope-mocks Mabel) Oh but Grunkle Stan it's not safe out there! There's predators! (stops mocking) Oh brother-"

The Doctor was going outside for one of his usual nature walks. "Hello Stan! Bit busy, eh? Also watch out, there are sightings of-"

The creature comes out of nowhere in a gust of wind, and snatches Waddles. Stan turns around while Waddles screams loudly. The creature turns in the opposite direction.

The Doctor looked dumbfounded, "-a giant ancient reptile that was supposed to be dead for millennia?"

Dipper and Soos run outside to see the creature. They see a trail of red yarn from Waddles' sweater through the woods.

"Dude, did you see that? That thing was a dinosaur, bro!"

"How is it possible that a dinosaur survived 65 million years?" Dipper questioned.

The Doctor snaps from his trance, "-Oh well! That is possible, I mean-there was a dangerous park I remember visiting that used genetics that brought them back-long story!"

"Did you see it, Mr. Pines?... Mr. Pines?"

Stan shudders, "It- it took him."

"Took what?"

"The pig! It took Waddles!"

Mabel rides up on bike, "What did you say about Waddles? Oh. Woah. Awkward silence. (pause) BWAAAAH! So, what's going on? Why are you standing around are awkwardly?... And where's Waddles?"

"Um- uh-" Stan hides the stake he used to tie Waddles to. "The good news is, you're gettin' a puppy!"

"What happened?"

"Well, see, uh, when the uh-"

The Doctor answers, "He was taken by none-other-than-a-Pterodactyl!"

"What!? Waddles? Waddles! Oh no, how did this happen? Grunkle Stan, you didn't put him outside?..."

"What? No! I didn't put him anywhere! I'm not acting suspicious! YOU'RE acting suspicious. What's a pig?"

Dipper raised an eyebrow, "Then... what happened?"

"Uh, look, it went down like this, see? So there I was, in the living room... tenderly nursing him on only the richest of creams. When all of a sudden-he busted in! So I said, "No dice, cowboy!" And I started punching him right in the face! But he played dirty...That really happened! (in his imagination) Why? Why couldn't you have taken me!?" As Stan starts crying.

The Doctor scratches his head.

"Oh, Grunkle Stan, you tried to save him!" As Mabel gave Stan a hug.

"Uh, yeah! I'm a great man, alright."

"You punched the pterodactyl in the face? I thought you didn't believe Doc about the supernatural?"

"Dinosaurs aren't magic, they're just big lizards! Get off my back."

The Doctor whistles, "Close enough!"

"Oh, Waddles."

"That's it. No pterodactyl is gonna messes with MY sister. We're gonna go out there, catch him, and save your pig! For Mabel, guys!" Dipper stated.

"For Mabel!"

"...But how do we even find the little guy?"

Mabel gasps, "We follow that!" As she points to the yarn trail from Waddles' sweater.

"Soos Yes! Yeah! That's genius!"

Stan jumps in,"Or, you know, we could just call it a day, maybe hit the pool haul, or- "

The Doctor interrupted, "Come on Stan, just like the old times-eh?"

"Alright-Fine! Just be careful with the kids, Doc! Let's go... save Woggles!"

"Waddles." Mabel stated.

"Him too."

* * *

Soos is spraypainting the words PTERODACTYL MOBILE on the side of a pickup truck.

"All right! That p-terodactyl won't know what hit him!"

"Ha! It's pterodactyl."

"Actually, no one knows how to pronounce it because nobody was alive back in dinosaur days, so uh... (straps cage to truck and nearly gets run over) Whoa! Almost ran over my own head there! Wow."

"Mabel. We've got to talk. This is a really high-stakes mission and I'm a little worried about Soos coming along on this one. I love the guy, but sometimes he messes stuff up."

"What? Since when?" Mabel replies.

The Doctor approaches, "Dipper, no worries on Soos. He has certain lovable character that makes him very unique-Heh, I used to remember him when he was younger."

"This is so great! You and me, bro. Best friends. Fighting and potentially high-fiving dinosaurs..." Soos went on.

The Doctor reassures him, "...Besides, things are about to get bored around here. Like to see what happens together with you guys on this adventure."

Mabel pulls up to abandoned church, "Okay, the red yarn leads to..."

Old Man McGucket shouts out, "Doodly doo do doo do!"

"Old Man McGucket!?"

"Howdy, friends!"

"What are YOU doing out here?"

"You'll never believe me! Now I was doin' my hourly hootnanny- Deedly doo ding dang!"

"Hey, Fidds."

McGucket continues, "When this enormous wing-ly critter stole my musical spoons and flew lickety-split into the abandoned mines down yonder!"

Everyone looks down into the mines, and gasps except for the Doctor and Stan.

Stan comments, "Looks kinda hairy down there."

"C'mon, Grunkle Stan, you can handle it! You punched a pterodactyl in the face, remember?"

"Oh yeah! Heh heh, I did do that, didn't I. Heh... heh heh heh..."

McGucket adds on "My, what suspicious laughter!"

The Doctor shrugs.

"Guys, we're going in."

"Need someone to tag along and tell weird personal stories?" McGucket asked.

Stan replies wistfully, "Heh-Sure, just like old times..."

* * *

Everyone, including Old Man McGucket, are climbing down a rope into the depths of the mine.

"So there I am, fighting a raccoon for the same piece of meat, when our mouths get close and we kiss accidentally!"

Stan sighs, "You can't take a hint, can you, Fidds?"

"Nope!"

Suddenly the rope fraying through, then breaking, spilling everyone to the ground below. "EVERYONE HOLD ON!" The Doctor shouted.

"OOF!"

"Whoa."

All gasp, whisper in surprise.

"These plants look all Jurrasic-y."

"Huh! This little fella smells like battery acid! (Plant coughs acid into his face) Aaaugh! Looks like I lost my sense of smell, ha ha!"

Mabel is looking at picture of herself and Waddles, "Oh, Waddles. We're gonna find you."

They walk into a tunnel, where Dipper's lantern light falls on a petrified T-Rex and everyone screams, then calms down and gasps at all the dinosaurs.

The Doctor playfully exclaims, "DINOSAURS! Trapped for almost a millennia in tree sap!"

"So that's how they survived for 65 million years!" Dipper sees a sap pile with a pterodactyl-shaped hole, "Whoa. The summer heat must be melting them loose!"

The Doctor grimaces, and glances at other dinosaurs trapped, "Hm...I wonder if there is a way-"

"Holy moley! Forget the cornicorn, this is the attraction of a lifetime! I could bring people down here and turn this into some sort of theme park! Jurassic... Sap Hole!"

"Then again, hopefully it wouldn't be deadly as Deadman Wonderland" The Doctor commented.

"Uh, dudes..." Soos points to a velociraptor that has worked one single claw out of the sap and is slowly working on a hand.

"Maybe... we should keep moving."

"This could be a gold mine! Velvety-rope type deal there, ticket booth here, ha! I should have put that pig outside ages ago!"

"Wait- what did you just say?"

"Hm? What's that?"

"You said the dinosaur flew INTO the house." Mabel gasps and then frowns. The Doctor fans his fedora at himself.

"No! Wait, uh, if you think about it-"

"You put Waddles outside then you lied to me about it! (Crying) and now thanks to you my pig could be dead! WADDLES COULD BE DEAD!"

Stan argues, "Look, he's an animal. He belongs outside!"

"No- that's it. Grunkle Stan, I am never ever speaking to you again!"

"Look, you can't be serious."

"Oh, is someone talking right now? Because I can't hear them!"

"Kid!"

"LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear anyone! No one's talking to me!"

"Guys, guys, don't fight! Why can't you be more like me and Dipper! Look, everything's gonna be cool. All we gotta do to find the pig is follow this here yarn!" Soos suggested, as he wraps yarn into a ball, then realizes he has just reached the end. "Just keep following and following, until we reach the end! Oh- uh oh. (Stares into the network of mine shafts) Which- which cave was it again?"

"Arghhh! Soos, you lost the trail!"

"Hey, come on. We'll find our way, TRUST me."

Soos whacks Dipper playfully on the back, causing the lantern Dipper is holding to fly out of his hands and break.

"...Sorry, dude."

"Ugh! That is it! See, this is why I didn't want to bring you along!" Dipper shouts out.

"Look! -What -what do you mean?"

"I MEAN, this is really important to Mabel, and you keep screwing everything up! You ruined our photograph, and now you got us hopelessly lost!"

"But we're the p-terodactyl bros! I made the t-shirts!"

"It's pronounced pterodactyl! And these shirts are useless, they're gigantic!"

"I have a different body type, dude!"

"Oh, so it's my fault?"

The whole group deteriorates into argument as Mabel and Stan start arguing again.

"EVERYONE! Enough!" The Doctor shouted, bringing their attention. "As long we are still together, we can find good o'l Waddles and try to take care of the dinosaur problem for this town!"

McGucket adds, "Yep! Cheer up, fellers! I fixed your lantern!"

Everyone then stares at Old Man McGucket in horror as they realize that he is standing underneath the pterodactyl.

"Everyone don't move, Fiddleford, whatever you do...don't make sudden movements..."

"Heh heh. What- what're we doing?" McGucket asks.

* * *

McGucket turns around and sees the pterodactyl, "Hmm? YEEEEEEHAW! We found a pterodactyl!"

"RUN!" as the Doctor quickly grabs McGucket.

The pterodactyl shrieks and starts chasing the gang down the narrow tunnel on all fours. It gets caught for a couple of seconds in a doorway, allowing them to hide behind some rocks before the pterodactyl comes.

"Guys! We need a plan to get out of here.

"Okay, okay. How's about Mabel gets Soos a pig costume-"

"I like it!"

"...and we use Soos as a human sacrifice!"

"I like it!"

"What do you say, Mabel?"

"Hmph."

"Ah, come on, you can't stop talking to me forever."

"Yeah, Mabel, we have to work together here."

"Oh, what, you want to work with Mabel but not your buddy, Soos?"

Soos, Dipper, Stan, and Mabel start to argue to each other. Fiddleford crouches with his hat in fear. The Doctor briefly pulls up his bag for tools...and sees the whole argument. He remembers something briefly in shame, but snaps his head up when he heard a certain sound.

"WHONK! WHONK!"

"Wait, did you hear that?"

Mabel see Waddles in a nest.

"Waddles!"

Mabel smiles and runs to the nest. The Doctor follows in.

"Oh, wait, kid."

"Mabel!"

"Are you guys nuts?"

Mabel replies sarcastically, "Oh, is someone speaking? Because I can't hear anything!"

McGucket cries out, "Oh no! She's gone deaf with fear!"

"Doctor! Mabel! Come back here!"

Everyone runs onto the mining cart track over to the nest.

"Waddles!"

Waddles grunts.

"Oh, my Waddles! I'll never lose you again!" As she rubs her face against Waddles. The Doctor smiles.

Dipper trembles as he notices the huge pile of human bones next to Mabel, "Uh... Mabel?" The Doctor suddenly realizes this.

"Shh. You're safe now."

"Mabel, quick! We gotta- now we gotta get out of here!"

"DOWN!" The Doctor shouts.

A huge shadow passes overhead and Waddles squeals in terror.

Waddles cries out, "WHOOONNNKK!"

Waddles immediately runs away.

"Waddles, wait!"

Waddles keep running.

"WHOONK! WHOONK!"

"Huh?"

Waddles jumps into Stan. The Doctor quickly runs over. "HOLD ON!"

"Ah!"

"WHOONK! WHOONK!"

"Get off me, you dumb pig!"

The pterodactyl swoops down on Stan and Waddles, screeching. The Doctor quickly glances where the massive flying dinosaur is about to swoop in.

"Look out!"

Everyone screams as the pterodactyl knocks both Stan and the Doctor off the mining track and down into a deep chasm filled with prehistoric plants.

"Oh no!"

"Stan! Doc!"

"Mr. Pines! Dr Houston!"

"Aaaaaaaaugh!" As Stan shouted out and bounces off an enormous mushroom, "Oof! Augh! Ugh!"

The Doctor floats down gracefully with his quickly-drawn out question mark umbrella from his bag.

Waddles grunts, and went rolling in the mud.

"Yeah, you would enjoy this."

The Doctor shrugs but then the huge pterodactyl's grabbed his fedora. "HEY!"

The pterodactyl drops The Doctor's hat in front of McGucket, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos, who are crouching terrified in the pterodactyl's nest. They gasp.

"Guys! We gotta save them!"

"McGucket, do you have an invention that can distract the pterodactyl?"

"Do I!? (rummages around in hid hat for a few seconds) Nope."

Everyone gasps as the solitairy pterodactyl egg cracks, falls on its side, and opens to reveal a baby pterodactyl, which makes a squeaking peeping noise.

"Awwww!"

"Well, welcome to the world, little feller-" The baby pterodactyl eats Fiddleford "AAAAUGH!"

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos scream.

* * *

Meanwhile, The Doctor, Stan and Waddles are hiding under a massive mushroom. Stan looks up as the pterodactyl flies over them.

Stan scoffs, "Yeah, like old times?! Really?! The kids are now in danger and the dumb thing must be hungry! I guess it's you or us, pig." As he shoves Waddles out from under the mushroom. The Doctor perks his eyebrows up.

Waddles gives Stan a cute look.

"What are you looking at?" Stan looks at Waddles sideways as Waddles again blinks at him. The Doctor chuckles, and began formatting a plan...

"Aw come on, don't give me that look! What am I supposed to do, let it eat me?"

Waddles stares at him.

"Argh! Oh, I get it. You're trying to guilt me. Well it ain't working, pal. Who cares if you're Mabel's favorite thing in the world? I can live without the kid talking to me all the time!... Telling me her jokes... makin' me laugh..."

"...Doesn't that remind you about someone, Stan?" The Doctor briefly comments and pulls out his sonic...

Waddles oinks and cocks head. The Doctor stated, "Alright-I got a plan...

Stan snorted then notices the pterodactyl swooping down towards him and the Doctor, "NOW!" The Doctor shouted as he pulled himself up.

Stan follows along and puts Waddles in the pulled out Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle. "Well, this is just about the dumbest thing we've ever done. YOU WANT THIS PIG?! THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET THROUGH ME, YOU FLYING DEVIL! COME AND GET ME!"

"LET'S DO THIS!"

* * *

"Ah dude! Did he really just eat that prospecter guy? That is messed up!"

The baby pterodactyl spits out McGucket's hat. Then old man McGucket comes up from the pterodactyl's neck and peeks out from the mouth.

Old man McGucket shouts out, "I'm okay!"

The baby pterodactyl swallows McGucket again. Mabel, Dipper and Soos backs off.

"What do we do, what do we do?!"

"We have to get in a straight line."

"What?"

"The pterodactyl's eyes are so far apart, that if you stand right in front of it, it can't see you!"

"Soos, you've been wrong about stuff all day. How can we-"

"Dude, look. I-I know I've messed up a lot. I could be sort of clumsy and.. It's not always as loveable as the Doctor would think. But please, as my friend, just trust me on this one!"

Dipper looks at the baby pterodactyl and looks at Soos. Dipper gives a smile and nods at Soos.

"Get behind me, dudes!" Soos stated.

Dipper and Mabel stands behind Soos. They move quietly. When the pterodactyl looks at them, they make a straight line. In the pterodactyl's eyes, they are out of it's vision.

"It's working!"

They walk on the track, making a line. when the pterodactyl turns it's head, they jump to the other line of the track. After they complete their crossing, the pterodactyl turns it's attention to eating stuff. The Pines twins and Soos rests behind the rocks. They all sigh.

"Soos, you did it!"

A cry of a pterodactyl is heard.

"Huh?"

Looking up, a pterodactyl is flying around and a punching sound is heard. The Doctor whoops aloud.

"Was that..?"

"Stan? Doc?"

Stan is punching it in is face, The Doctor is preparing to get himself and Stan to escape, and Mabel sees Waddles.

"Waddles!"

"He's punching him in the face!"

"FROM HECK'S HEART I STABETH THEE!" As he gave the flying dinosaur a final punch.

"NOW!" The Doctor shouted. Both men jumped.

The pterodactyl hits the cliff, crashes to the ground and Stan while clutching his fez climbs up the cliff with the Doctor.

Soos and Dipper cheers at Stan.

Mabel stares at Stan delightly while giving the Doctor his hat. "Thanks!"

Stan adds in, "Here's your pig, kido." As he makes Waddles to wave to Mabel.

"Waddles!" Stan gives Waddles to Mabel. Mabel hugs Waddles, "You saved him for me!"

"Yeah, well. (Behind him, the pterodactyl is climbing up) Some times you just gotta.. LOOK OUT!"

The Doctor quickly lead others to a way out.

They all start to run. The pterodactyl snaps at Dipper and ripped his vest. Back at the entrance, they discover the rope to climb up was cut.

"We're trapped!"

Dipper sees the geyser pushing the rock up.

"Quick! The geyser could shoot us back up!"

They all climb in the geyser and the pterodactyl is approaching, but the geyser won't pump.

"C'mon.. Go, go!"

The pterodactyl roars and everyone screams.

"Bros before dinos!" As Soos hits the geyser hard.

The geyser pumps them up and they land into the buliding all wet. The church building collapses and covers the hole.

"I can't believe you did all that for Waddles!" Mabel playfully exclaims.

"Ah, well. I can't have my favorite niece not talking to me. (Leans on a tree with sap on it) And if I gotta leap onto a pterodactyl and punch him in the face, then that's what I gotta do."

"That's kinda sappy."

"W-what? That's how I feel!"

"No, I mean.." As she points Stan's hand.

"Oh, yeah. (Touches Mabel's face with the hand has sap on it) Gotcha! Ha ha ha ha. (Realies it doesn't fall off) Uh-oh." Stan tries to put his hand off from Mabel. They both scream.

The Doctor comes along, "Oh hold on...hold on..." as he successfully freed them from the sap.

* * *

At the back seat, Mabel with Waddles and Stan are sleeping. The Doctor is grinning while being in the middle. In the front seat, which Dipper and Soos are sitting.

"Check it out! (Dipper holds his vest up. it has a hole) That thing destroyed my vest! (Discovers pterodactyl's tooth stuck in it) Soos, look!"

"A real dinosaur tooth? That's awesome!"

"Not as awesome as you saving us back there. Pterodactyl bros?"

"Pterodactyl bros. (The two fist bump) Whoosh! Hey! I pronounced it right that time!"

"Think we need to worry about the rest of those dinosaurs?"

"I doubt it." Soos replied.

The Doctor remembered something, "Say, where's Fiddleford?"

* * *

Meanwhile, from the hole, old man McGucket pops out.

"I ate my way through a dino-sour!" As he laughs and plays his musical spoon.

Back at the Shack, Dipper and Soos are watching tv.

 _"Hey, I'm Bobby Renzobbi. Are your arms jealous of your legs? Then you need "Arm Pants!" The pants that you wear on your arms!"_

"Yeesh. Who actually buys these informercial stuff?"

"I know, right? (Turns to the phone) Cancel the order, cancel the order!"

Mabel, Waddles and Stan are playing poker.

Waddles oinks.

"Snorting! That's his tell! I fold."

Mabel stands up, "Tough luck, sucker! Waddles was bluffing."

"What? I had 4 aces! That pig is a wizard!"

Waddles eats his cards.

"Look at him. He's taunting me!"

"I've been cheating the last 8 turns."

"Ha ha, that's my girl!"

The Doctor meanwhile, oversees this and similes, as he loves to spend certain time with the Pines...before _he_ appears.

9-20 23-15-18-11-19 6-15-18 16-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-7-19! 1-19 14-15-20-5-4: 20-8-5 4-15-3-20-15-18 13-9-19-19-5-19 1-4-18-9-3 22-5-18-25 1-12-15-20.


	19. Chapter 19

**_Dreamscaperers_**

In an unusual, though fitting, rainy day at the Mystery Shack, Dipper and Mabel are playing battleships.

"I'm gonna say... B5."

"Miss!" As she puts a peg on her board, "Whop!"

However on Mabel's board, her pegs are arranged like a kitten.

"I don't think you're playing this right."

"Kids! Come quick!" Stan shouted from the living room.

Dipper and Mabel enter the living room to find Stan watching television with Wendy and Soos. The Doctor was in his usual given Yale-blue sweater with his red-and-black jacket and a fedora on top of his head.

Stan laughs, "I need you all to laugh and hate on this with me!"

A commercial for the Tent of Telepathy comes on the television.

 _"Who's cute as a button, and always your friend? Lil' G-I-D to the E-O-N! Wink! Li'l Gideon!"_

"Ugh, Gideon!" Dipper grumbled. The Doctor shrugs.

"Remember when I wouldn't date him and he tried to destroy us?" Mabel stated. The Doctor vividly remembers, not in a bright way, how Gideon came to withhold a certain power he shouldn't be dealing with...by another journal similar to the one Dipper founded.

"He's always trying to trick me into losing the Mystery Shack." Stan said angrily. The Doctor clicks open his fob watch.

Wendy adds in, "One time I caught him stealing my moisturizer." The Doctor smirked.

"And yet, our mutual hatred for him bonds us together." Soos finished. The Doctor smiles and rolls his eyes at the laughable joke.

 _"Come on down to Li'l Gideon's Tent of Telepathy, opening soon at this location."_

Commercial shows the Tent of Telepathy crushing the Mystery Shack.

"Uh, should we be worried about that?"

Stan replies, "Please, the only way Gideon's taking over this shack is by breaking in and stealing my deed."

"Eh-Right on time, dear old friend" The Doctor commented while peering at the time.

As if on cue, a crash is heard from upstairs, the Doctor closes his pocket watch.

"You mean like, right now?"

* * *

"42? 38? 41? Oh, heavens to Betsy!"

"Gideon!" Stan roared as he bust open into his office. The Doctor and the others pour in after him.

"Well, well, Stanford, my arch-nemesis. We seem to have entered a dangerous game of cat and mouse. But the question remains, who is the cat, and who is the-"

"Soos, broom."

Gideon shrieks, "Oh no, not the broom!"

Stan chases Gideon around the room with the broom, Gideon hisses but Stan hits Gideon with the broom twice before the Doctor intervenes and puts him outside, dropping him by the shirt's back.

"You mark my words, Stanford, one day I'm gonna get that combination. And once I steal that deed, you ALL never see the Mystery Shack again!"

"Good luck, bucko!" as Stan closes the door on him.

The Doctor whistles, "That was a close call..."

* * *

Stan has the Mystery Shack deed in his safe, and began pressing the lock button.

He laughs, "The combo to this safe is in the one place he'll never find it: my brain."

Gideon, on the other hand, was spying and glaring at Stan at the same time, "Your brain isn't as safe as you might think, Stanford Pines!" as he jumps down and pulls out Journal 2.

"This is the last straw! It's time to unlock the journal's greatest secret..." as he reveals an ominous, familiar character on a certain page, with zodiac symbols all around it...

* * *

Dipper, Mabel, Stan, and Wendy are watching television. Dipper and Wendy are shooting each other with dart guns.

 _"He put the old in "old west," they call him: Grandpa the Kid!"_

Stan commented, "I can relate to this."

The Doctor fondly adds in, "... _tired of everything turning into dust_..."

"Grunkle Stan, why can't we watch a movie that we'll all enjoy? Dream Boy High! "Where love is on your permanent record."

Stan, Dipper and Wendy shouts out, "Boo!"

"You'll learn to like it."

A crash is heard from the kitchen.

Soos runs into the room, "Aaah! Dudes, there's a bat in the kitchen! It tried to touch me with its "weird little bat fingers!"

The Doctor corrects, "...Fangs! Perhaps..."

"Don't worry, I got this under control" as Stan leans back in armchair, "Dipper, take care of it."

Mabel laughs, "Yes!"

"What? Why can't Mabel do it?"

"'Cause life ain't fair. Now go fight a bat so we can watch TV."

Dipper stamps his foot on the carpet, "No way, Grunkle Stan! You always make me do dumb chores. I'm putting my foot down this time!"

Stan gets up, "I said do it kid. Now!"

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly western theme plays. Stan and Dipper have a stare off, growling at each other.

"Okay, I'll do it!" Dipper sighs; walks into kitchen, with Mabel following behind him.

Dipper picks up a saucepan and spoon on the floor, mumbling, "Stupid chores..."

"Remember, bats are more afraid of you than you are of them."

The Doctor was in the kitchen. "I THINK THAT WAS FOR THE DUCKS, Dear!"

Loud screams and crashes come from the kitchen, while kitchen supplies and Dipper's hat are thrown outside.

"...AND STAY OUT IF YOU CAN, Please!" Revealing that the Doctor successfully apprehended the flying mammal and got it outside. Unfortunely, Dipper got himself bit.

"Ducklings." Mabel laughs, "Quack quack! Quack quack quack!"

* * *

Soon, Soos is applying disinfectant to Dipper's wounds while Mabel applies bandages to Dipper's head.

"Ow, ow!"

"Swabbing on disinfectant, doo doo doo..."

Dipper sighs, "Why does Grunkle Stan always pick on me? Think about it! The more painful or difficult the chore is, the more likely it is I'll have to do it. Why doesn't he pick on you guys?"

The Doctor's face suddenly looks solemn.

"Dipper, Stan's personality is one of life's great mysteries. Like whether or not it's possible to lick your own elbow." Soos commented.

"I bet you can't!" Mabel adds in.

"I bet I can!" as Soos tries to lick elbow and walks away.

Mabel follows Soos; chanting, "Lick it! Lick it! Lick it!"

Dipper looks up to the Doctor, crossing his own elbows, "Sometimes I feel like Stan hates me."

The Doctor then kneels down at Dipper's level.

"Dipper, I know how much disagreements on Stan's mind can persist today. But, deep down he is one of the most steadfast people I ever meet...even at young age."

The Doctor nods wistfully from a certain memory. "He already knows the hardships of his own...and he loves you so much that he is willing to prepare both Mabel and you against certain ridiculous bonds in life." as he pats Dipper by the shoulder.

Dipper smiles, comforted by their family's friend who already knew his and Mabel's grandparents, and great-uncle...

Stan then yells, "The sink has a clogging problem, Dipper! Get in here and fix it!"

"It is already taken care off!" The Doctor replied back loudly, while going outside to see what Soos and Mabel are up to...

* * *

Meanwhile, Gideon held the picture of Stan with a red "X" painted over his eyes, and putting it by a circle of candles.

"You think that combination's safe in your _mind_ , Stanford? We'll see what _my new minion_ has to say about that!"

He held the journal near to his face, chanting the inevitable doom that would befall and return.

 _"Triangulum, entangulum. **Vene foris dominus mentium**. **Vene foris videntis omnium!"**_

Soon, the Doctor joined Mabel and Soos outside after bidding Wendy a good-night. Soos is still attempting to lick his own elbow, with Mabel still cheering him on.

"Lick that elbow! Lick that elbow!"

"Like the infinite horizon, it eludes my grasp."

The Doctor suddenly hears laughter.

"Is that who I think it is?"

Mabel and Soos walk toward Gideon. The Doctor's eyes widen.

Gideon grunts, clasps his stomach and his eyes glow blue, and chants _, "Egassem sdrawkcab. egassem sdrawkcab. Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab!"_

Everything seemingly turns black and white, wildlife pauses in midair, and the mysterious malevolent figure appears in mist of flames. The Doctor quickly protects Mabel and Soos behind the bushes.

 _"AH-HA-HA! AH-HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

The being beholds a triangular body, with an eye, adding in a classical bow-tie and usual top hat.

"OH! OH! GRAVITY FALLS! IT IS GOOD TO BE BACK! NAME'S BILL CIPHER! AND I TAKE IT YOU'RE SOME KIND OF LIVING VENTRILOQUIST DUMMY!? HA-HA! I'M JUST KIDDING, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE GIDEON!"

Gideon shutters, "W-what are you? H-how do you know my name?!"

"OH, I KNOW LOTS OF THINGS! **LOTSOFTHINGS"**

As Bill bellowed loudly, his body is seemingly a TV screen to many things...

 _The 35th US president in his limo on that fateful day, along with a certain crowd member's face being glitched out._

 _Three UFO saucers that is seemingly attacking a flying blue blur in what-appears-to-be a sky's war zone setting._

 _A what-seems-to-be an elderly man dressed in black sitting on a Mayan calendar with an aged Aztec woman._

 _Dipper's recently-founded strange journal that has bold number three on it, with a monocle serving as a bookmark._

 _A flashed scary-looking creature that dressed in a tuxedo but is forgotten quickly._

 _A group of strange markings that seemed to outline a blueprint._

 _A random skull next to a candle._

 _Bunch of giant lights from the dark sky flashing on the Stonehenge monument._

 _The Great Pyramids of Giza from Egypt._

 _What-seems-to-be Stan going to the Shacks's vending machine with the Doctor._

 _A flashed zodiac circle with familiar symbols._

 _A crop circle shown bit halfway that spelled: -T-O-R._

 _The angelic statue that "_ _nosed-picked"_ _Mabel is still frozen in front due to another one._

 _The town's statue of Nathaniel Northwest._

 _A person on a computer typing away these words to embolden the story._

 _And many more that others might not able to comprehend._

 _"_ HEY, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!" as Bill gestured to a deer, the deer's teeth then fly into his hand. Gives the teeth to Gideon. "DEER TEETH! FOR YOU KID! AHHAHAHAHAHA!"

Gideon cries out in shock and drops teeth on the ground, "You're insane!"

"SURE I AM, WHAT'S YOUR POINT?" as he wraps his finger in the air, causing the deer receive his teeth back, and fled.

"Listen to me, demon! I have a job for you. I need you to enter the mind of Stanford Pines and steal the code to his safe!"

Mabel and Soos gasp, with the Doctor grimacing.

"HAHA! WAIT...STAN PINES?" as Bill turns away and was in a deep thought.

His body shows Stan in somewhat mad fit of rage, and an unknown symbol.

"YOU KNOW WHAT, KID! YOU'VE CONVINCED ME! I'M SOLD! I'LL HELP YOU WITH THIS AND IN RETURN YOU CAN HELP ME WITH SOMETHING I'VE BEEN WORKING ON! WE'LL WORK OUT THE DETAILS LATER!"

Gideon enthusiastically agrees, "Deal!"

Bill's hand lights on blue fire and he shakes hands with Gideon, "WELL TIME TO INVADE STAN'S MIND! THIS SHOULD BE FUN! _REMEMBER; REALITY IS AN ILLUSION, THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM, BUY GOLD-BYE_!"

Bill Cipher suddenly disappears in a crack of light.

Gideon wakes up, "It worked!"

* * *

Dipper is sweeping the carpet in the living room while Stan sleeps in his chair.

Stan is mumbling in his sleep, "...Oh, I'm so, so sorry..."

"What is going on in that guy's head?"

Mabel and Soos run in with the Doctor.

"Dipper! We've gotta help Stan!"

"Wait, what?"

Soos explains, while eating Nyums brand Burrito Bites, "This evil triangle guy said he's gonna break into Stan's mind and steal the combination to his safe! Also we stopped for snacks on the way here."

The Doctor flips a Jamie Dodger in his mouth briefly.

"Triangle guy?" as Dipper takes out Journal 3. "I feel like I've seen something like this before in the journal...Beware Bill, the most powerful and dangerous creature I've ever encountered! Whatever you do, never let him enter your mind."

The Doctor stretches his arms and hands then saying, "...This isn't something you to should underestimate, no matter what-he have to help Stan!"

Stan grunts in sleep. The Doctor quickly runs to him. "...Oh, NO! WHAT HE HAVE DONE!?"

Dipper, Mabel and Soos all gasp.

"Grunkle Stan!"

A shadow of Bill is then entering Stan's mind.

Stan's eyes start glowing blue and grunts while making random movements.

Mabel takes the journal from Dipper; reads, "It is possible to follow the demon into a person's mind and prevent his chaos. One must simply recite this incantation."

"Everyone, hold upon Stan's head! We are about to save him in his own mind!" The Doctor instructed.

"I wonder what Stan's thinking about right now."

Soos uses Stan as a ventriloquist dummy, "I love Soos like a son!"

"Soos! This is serious!"

"Sorry!"

"Alright, let's do this."

Mabel, Dipper, Doctor, and Soos put their hands on Stan's head.

"Read the written incantation then." The Doctor told Dipper.

"Videntus omnium. Magister mentium. **Magnesium** _ad hominem_. **Magnum opus**. _Habeas corpus_! ** _Inceptus Nolanus overratus!_** Magister mentium! Magister mentium! MAGISTER MENTIUM!"

As Dipper speaks, his eyes go blue, then Soos' and Mabel's, and the Doctor's somehow turn yellow, after the incantation, there is a blue explosion and the gang is inside Stan's mind. Mabel and Soos make exclamations of awe.

"What the?"

"Whoa, this is Stan's mind?"

"I figured there would be more hot old ladies."

"Remember everyone, we've got to look out for the triangle guy."

The Doctor adds in, "Couldn't agree more..."

" _YEAH! LOOK OUT FOR THE TRIANGLE GUY!_ " Bill screamed behind the Doctor's shoulder. The Doctor quickly turns and jumps in front of the kids, protecting them from a familiar past adversary.

"It's him! It's the guy!" Soos shouts.

"You leave our uncle's brain alone, you isosceles monster!" Mabel added.

"Ah, of course-Stan's family, we meet at last! Question Mark, Shooting Star, Pine Tree, DOC! I had a hunch I might bump into you!" as he shoots a hole in the Doctor's chest.

Dipper screams at the sudden attack, but the Doctor merely looks down and mutters, "...well, there goes one of my hearts..."

Mabel sticks her hand through the Doctor, "Boop!"

"Mabel! What do you want with our uncle's mind anyway?" Dipper stated.

"Oh, just the code to the old man's safe! Inside the shack is a maze of a thousand doors representing your uncle's memories. Behind one of them is a memory of him inputting the code! I just need to find it and Gideon will pay me handsomely."

"Enough of this! Cipher, get off from his mind!" The Doctor demanded.

"YEAH! We stop you!"

"Hah, fat chance! I'm the master of the mind! I even know what you're thinking right now!"

"That's impossible, no one can guess what I'm thinking!" Mabel retorted.

The Doctor looked at her, "Urm, Mabel; no need to-"

Bill then makes Mabel's favorite characters: Xyler and Craz, appear.

"Whoa, where are we, bro?"

"We must be in heaven, 'cause I just saw an angel!" as he points to Mabel.

Mabel then hugs Craz's leg, "I'm never letting go of your leg!"

"You're out of your league, puppet!" Bill threatened the Doctor, "Turn around now before the kids see something they might regret. Later, suckers!" as he crashes through wall of mindscape Mystery Shack.

"We're goin' in! Mabel, can we leave those guys out here? Looking at them - hurts my eyes..." Dipper stated. The Doctor, meanwhile, snaps his fingers to "re-fix" the given hole.

"No! They can help us!"

"Totally! Arm throne!"

Mabel chuckles.

"Dude! Arm throne! Arm throoone!" Soos adds in.

* * *

Everyone heads into the shack and awes.

"Radical!"

"I also think it's radical!"

"Whoa, look! All of Stan's memories!"

Dipper sarcastically remarked, "Great. Sure there's plenty of memories of Stan bossing me around, can't wait to see more of that."

The Doctor reminded Dipper, "He doesn't hate you Dipper, he feels of what is absolutely necessary".

"Come on Dipper, we've gotta find the code before Bill does!"

"Mabel is talking!"

"So rad!"

"Let's get searching!" Soos encourages. The Doctor nodded, "Also remember, make some stuff up from your mind to protect yourself from _Bill_..." He gestures the background. "Afterall, we're in the _mindscape_..."

The gang runs down hallway, searching for Stan's memory of the Shack's deed so Bill wouldn't find it. Dipper opens a door.

It was a daily adventure of Stan being somewhat in a Colombian prison.

"Jorge, Rico, you're the two best Colombian prison friends a fellah could make."

"Espero que muera."

"Sí."

A guard approaches Stan, "You are free to go sir, " _Dr Jimmy Snakes_ " vouched for you."

"Nope!" Dipper closes the door. Meanwhile, Soos opens another door.

"Sir, would you like to buy a Stan-Vac vacuum? Stan-Vac: It sucks more than anything."

Then Stan was rejected.

"Gotta work on that."

"Nope." Soos closes the door.

Mabel opens a small door.

"Whoa, it's Stan on a date!" Stan was on a date with Lazy Susan.

"So, your, uh... your eye is weird, let's... let's talk about that."

Lazy Susan laughs.

 _"This is going terrible. I can't think of anything to say and she...looks weird up close. Think of a way out!_ " He suddenly shouts, "NON-SPECIFIC EXCUSE!"

"Yeesh." As Mabel closes the door.

The Doctor then sees a door containing one of Stan's memories about him that has a certain _number_ on it.

He opens it.

It was an usual day after the attempted alien-robot wax dummies invasion. Stan was questioning Mabel, Dipper, Soos, and Wendy with her two of her friends, Tambry and Robbie, in the Mystery Shack, after finding the broken coffee machine.

Stan demanded, "So. Who broke it? The coffee maker? I'm not mad, I just wanna know."

Mabel decided as a nice person to fix the problem, "Look...I did. I broke it."

"No. No you didn't, Sweetie. Skinny Jeans?"

Robbie defended himself, "Whoa, don't look at me, uh Mr Pines. Look at the kid."

Dipper stated, "What?! I didn't break it."

"Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?"

"Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken."

"Suspicious."

"No it's not!" Dipper argued.

"If it matters, probably not, but I think I saw Wendy was the last one to use it." Soos stated.

"Um, Soos-I don't even drink that crap!" Wendy corrected.

"Oh really? Then what were you doing by the table earlier?"

"I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Come on, everyone knows that!"

"Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Grunkle Stan." Mabel stated.

"No! Who broke it!?"

"Mr Pines...Tambry, been awfully quiet."

"REALLY?! OH MY GOSH!"

Everyone starts arguing each other. The Doctor grimaces funnily while looking at the memory.

"Oooooh, um-I broke it. The Autons that we faced were weak. Gosh, I predict 10 minutes in there from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Heh, ironically for Stan, it would be getting a little chummy around here."

The Doctor remembers that in some memories inside Stan's mind, they had series of adventures...

He quietly closes the door, remembering that he told Stan finally later that he threw it at the alive "wax dummies". He shrugs and continues his search.

Dipper discovers a door written "Dipper Memories."

"Look, guys! Memories about me!"

"That doesn't seen like a good idea." Soos stated.

"I just wanna know what the old guy really thinks of me."

Mabel adds in, "We already know how Stan feels about us! He loves us! We're great."

"Yeah. Let's just keep moving."

"More moving?"

"Yes! I love motion!"

Dipper walks a bit, but turns around and runs to the Dipper memories door and enters it. The Doctor soon walks where he is.

"Okay. Just a quick peek."

Dipper walks by the doors. The sound Stan calling Dipper echoes. Dipper walks in front of one of them and opens the door. Inside is a memory of Stan making Dipper chop firewood.

"No buts! Now go and chop that firewood already!" as he hits Dipper's head with a newspaper.

Dipper walks away to chop the firewood. Stan sits on the couch, alongside with Soos and the Doctor.

"Dude, Stan, I've been meaning ask you. Why are you so hard on Dipper all the time?"

"I second that notion, Stan." The Doctor adds in.

"Look, Soos, Doc, I'm gonna let you in on something. Wanna know what I really think?"

Dipper leans to listen what Stan is talking.

"The kid's a loser. He's weak! He's an utter embarrassment! I just wanna get rid of him."

Dipper starts to close the door sadly. The Doctor then approaches. "Dipper, hold on-listen closely."

"What, so I can still hear about-"

"No. _Listen_."

The Doctor from the memory then comments, "Stan, recalling altogether-didn't you ran into hardships when you were very young?"

"Heh, yeah. Those are all things people said about me when I was a boy..."

Dipper opens the door more widely, "Huh?" The Doctor smiles.

"It was terrible, Doc! Remember? I was the biggest wimp on the playground!"

A door of Stan's memory opens behind Dipper. It shows Stan as a kid getting bullied by other kids and running away with tears.

However, the Doctor was there comforting very young Stan...

"So one summer, while you busy, my pop signs up me for boxing lessons."

A door of Stan boxing opens. He is getting punched by his opponent.

"It was even worse than the school yard!"

 _"Left hook!"_

"Y'know, that time I thought my pop was trying to torture me."

A door of teen Stan at the theater opens.

"But wouldn't you know it? The old man was doin' me a favor all along!"

A man tries to steal a woman's bag. "Give me that bag!"

"Help! My purse! Help!"

"Left hook!" as he punches the man.

The people all around teen Stan cheers for him. The woman gives him a kiss.

"You see it? That why I'm hard on Dipper. To toughen him up. So when the world fights, he fights back." The Doctor from the memory then narrows his eyes on a certain thought of his...

"Do you think it's actually working?" Soos asked.

Stan points at Dipper.

Dipper in the memory, chops the wood in a half, "I-I did it! Ha ha! Yes!"

"He's really comin' along! When push comes to shove, I'm actually proud of him. Just... don't ever tell him that. His head is big enough as it is."

The Doctor in the memory chuckles fondly, "...That's true. Reminds us of some _people_ that we lost..."

Dipper closes the door. Taking a deep breath, he looked at the Doctor, "Thanks, Doc. I am really glad he actually doesn't hate me much."

"Heh-Heh, no worries Dipper. Besides, I really know how it feels to be very different. Like a wrinkle in time..."

* * *

"Hello? Code to Stan's safe? Where are you?"

"Opening and closing doors is fun!"

"I can do it also!"

Soos opens a door. Inside the door Stan pushes buttons of the vending machine. The vending machine opens and a secret hallway appears.

"If only people knew the truth, that hidden behind this vending machine, I secretly have a -"

"BORING!"

Meanwhile, the Doctor spots one of Stan's hilarious memories of him wearing iconic Groucho Marx's glasses.

Suddenly, Mabel finds a door written "Top Secret" on top of it.

"Alright guys, I have a good feeling about this door."

Mabel opens the door. Inside it has a memory of Stan in the bathroom.

"Hey, Mr. Tummy! (Changes his voice) Hey, Mr. Stan! (Back to normal voice) Are you hungry? (Changes his voice again) Yes! Eat your crackers! (Changes his voice) Yum yum yum yum!"

"Sweet Sally" Mabel quickly closes the door.

"Ha, we've been searching forever! What if the triangle guy finds the memory before we do?"

"If we wanna find Stan's memory, we gotta think like Stan. He's always hiding stuff, right?"

"Yeah! Like how he hides his arrest warrants under that rug in the gift shop?"

"Soos, that's it! Look!" as she walks to a rug and finds a door under it.

All gasp. Dipper and Doctor soon joined them.

Mabel opens the door.

Stan kisses the deed and puts it into the safe, "There ya go. And now to input the code. 13, 44, and finally.."

Soos closes the door, "Dude! we found it!"

"Yeah!"

Xyler and Craz stated, "But what do we do now? Jinx!"

"Um... um... Let's just destroy the door before Bill can find it!"

"Wait! Maybe I should do it! My big fat arms are great at destroying stuff!" Soos commented. The Doctor raises his eyebrows.

"Oh, okay."

Soos begins to lifts up the door with some kind of psychic power. As he does this, Soos walks in. The Doctor rolls his eyes at the confirmation.

"Hey guys! I just saw a memory of Stan roller skating and wearing short-shorts! Didn't look... didn't look that bad! Hey, something weird is goin' on here."

"Seriously? The height is quarter inches too tall! Eyes are about to combine into one! No, No-I mean it! Your eyes are literally going to become one! AND HOW'S THE DANCING?! Cause you got two left feet!" The Doctor snapped. "You once gave _us_ hope and then you took it away. That's enough to make anyone dangerous, God knows what you will do next to all of us!"

Bill in Soos' form then laughs, and laughed harder. He soon turned back to his normal, upstart form, "Boy. Doc, you and kids sure are gullible! I knew you'd lead me straight to the code! It's funny how dumb you are. The combination to Stan's safe. Boy, that was even easier then I thought!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, you're a-a stink face!"

"Awesome comeback, Mabel!"

"Don't treat me like a child, Xyler."

"Later, suckers!"

"OH NO YOU DON'T! EVERYONE AFTER HIM!" The Doctor quickly stated.

Bill opens every door he passes. Then a phone ringing sound is heard. Bill touches his bow tie revealing he had a call from Gideon.

"YELLOW?"

Gideon appears, "Bill! Did you find the memory with the combination yet?"

"Relax, short stack. I got it right here."

"Ha ha ha! Perfect. now give it to me and we'll finish our bargain."

"Finally! It's-you got a pen there? It's 13, 44..." The door gets hit by a nyarf gun held by Dipper who quickly used mindscape's imagination.

"Ah! No no no! Wait, no!"

The door falls to the bottomless pit from one of Stan's memories.

"...and the Mobius Strip-or whatever you called it Fidds, is none more bottomless than the bottomless pit! Which you can see here is bottomless. Whooh! Whatever that was, it's gone forever! Besides we all jumped in it already."

The door closes. "Ha ha! Boom!"

"Mabel did it!"

"The Shack is safe!"

Gideon angrily cuts in, "The deal's off!"

"Wa-wait! No! Wait!"

"I'm switchin' to plan B!"

The screen turns off and Bill's body cracks to pieces and falls off. Then Bill's body reappears as red.

" _YOU_! You can't even imagine what you just cost me! Do you have any idea what I'm like... ** _WHEN I'M MAD?!"_**

Several symbols pass by Bill's eye, reflecting all stunned faces, except for the Doctor and Dipper who both bore faces of determination. Then a rock in the shape of Stan's head pops out from their feet and raises up. Bill's size starts increasing.

Mabel gasp.

"So I guess he gets really mad when he gets mad."

The Doctor scoffs.

 **"EAT NIGHTMARES!** _One nightmare, coming up!"_

"Nightmare? Hope he doesn't mean that British dog man I'm always dreaming about..." Soos stated.

The British dog man appears in front of Soos.

"Ello, 'ello, 'ello! Who's crike for a stick in the pudding?"

Soos screams, "It's everything I've ever feared!"

The Doctor quickly flips up his screwdriver and vanquished the supposed nightmare.

" _You_!" as Bill strikes a nightmare to Mabel.

Mabel becomes green and ugly. Her voice also changes low and slow.

Mabel screams, "My cuteness! What did you do to my cuteness?!"

The Doctor quickly flashes the sonic which repaired Mabel.

 _"You're next!"_

"Cool! We're next!"

Craz dances with Xyler but they both get knocked out by Bill's beam. They burn and vanish.

Mabel shouts, "My dream boys!"

 _"And now to finish you all once in for all!"_

"NO! NO!"

Dipper then flies up in Bill's face, "Hey! Bill!"

" _WHAT_?!"

"Nice bow tie!" as makes a hole in Bill with laser from his eyes. The Doctor grimaces, "Ooooh, Ouch!"

Bill screams.

"Guys! I just learned from Doc that you can conjure whatever you can conceive in Grunkle Stan's mindscape! Just think of cool fighting stuff and it will happen!"

 _"What? Who told you that! Don't listen to him!"_

"We can do anything? Like have kittens for fists?" Mabel's fists becomes kittens; as she shoots them at Bill. "Po-pow! P-p-pow! Pow!"

The kitten fists stick on Bill.

Bill screams more loudly.

"Well hello, friends!"

"Anything, huh? Soos love stomach beam stare!" as Soos shoots colorful question marks from stomach and knocks Bill off.

Bill covers his hole, "Enough games!" as he shoots laser from his eye.

"Hamster ball shields activate!"

Soos and Dipper and Doctor all shouted, "Activate!" The laser then gets reflected by the hamster balls and hits Bill in the eye.

"AH! Oh my eye! AAH!"

Mabel, Dipper, Doctor, and Soos' hamster ball breaks.

"Rise, Xyler! Rise, Craz!"

Xyler and Craz rise from behind her back with musical instruments. They start to play synthesized music. The Doctor creates an electric guitar out of nowhere.

 _"No! Synthesized music! It hurts!"_

"And now to imagine your worst nightmare! A portal out of Stan's mind!"

Mabel singing, "Woo-HOO! Out of Stan's mi-ind!"

"Mabel! Everyone, together!"

The gang all starts to imagine. A hole below Bill appears.

 _"No, no, no! ENOUGH!"_

Bill then mkes everything white. He becomes yellow again, _"You know DOC, I've been impressed with your own "children of time". They are more clever than you look. Especially the fat one."_

Soos pokes the Doctor; in a whisper, "He's talking about you!"

"Oy! I wasn't that chubby ever since I wore a rainbow suit!" The Doctor playfully replied, and then frowned seriously at Bill. "But, really. Hold on, what did you actually mean Cipher? What are you planning this time?!"

"What I mean is that, I'm gonna let them off the hook, _Doc_." He said in a way anyone can't make out of.

 _"THEY might come in handy later. BUT KNOW THIS: A darkness approaches. A day will come in the future when everything you care about will change! Until then I'll be watching you! **I'LL BE WATCHING YOU..."**_

Bill disappears, his words echoing...

"He's gone! we did it!" Gang cheers and then they begin to disappear. "Stan must be waking up." The Doctor comments.

"Will I ever see you guys again?"

"In your dreams."

"Good one, bro. Good one."

The gang wakes up in the living room, shouting in surprise.

"We did it!"

Stan wakes up, "What? Did what? What are you all doing here? And why was I dreaming of two brightly colored and radical young men?"

The Doctor chuckled.

"Grunkle Stan! You're okay!" as Dipper hugged Stan.

"What is this, a hug?"

"Nope! It's a choke hold." as Dipper chokes Stan.

Mabel and Soos laughs. Dipper stops choking Stan.

Stan chuckles, "Not bad, kid. Not bad."

"I'm just glad Gideon didn't get into the safe. I really love this old shack."

"Group hug! No? I never know the right time!"

The Shack starts to shake.

The Doctor suddenly realizes.

"Hey, do you guys feel...?"

The Doctor quickly pulls Stan and Dipper to Mabel and Soos, and shielded them. "GET DOWN!"

An explosion happens behind the sofa.

Gideon approaches, "Oh, I'm sorry, Pines family. Did I wake you?"

"But.. we defeated Bill!"

"Bill failed me! So I switched to plan B: dynamite!"

"What? Bill? Where?! What are you guys talking about?!"

"Long Story!" The Doctor explained.

"Spoiler alert, Stanford! I've got the deed! The Mystery Shack belongs to me! So get out of my property! Daddy? Bring it around the front."

"Don't worry, guys! It's just part of the dream! We're gonna wake up any second now! Right? Right?"

Bud Gleeful drives a crane with a wrecking ball to the shack and smashes the Mystery Shack's sign.

All screams.

"Someone pinch me, dude..."

The broken sign falls in front of the gang.

The Doctor then shouts angrily, "GLEEFUL!"

12-9-1-18 13-15-14-19-20-5-18 19-14-1-16-16-25 4-18-5-19-19-5-18. 20-15 2-5 3-15-14-20-9-14-21-5-4: 16-18-5-20-20-25 19-15-15-14 15-14 20-8-9-19 23-5-5-11, 8-1-16-16-25 14-5-23 25-5-1-18!


	20. Chapter 20

_lautaro94: No worries, I got plenty ideas to write down in this story. Above that, the Doctor does indeed **already** have a rivalry with Bill Cipher in this universe...as always the Doctor will stop any hostile foes...especially a certain dream demon he's already **familiar** with._

 _I do not own GF or DW, all rights belong to their creators, enjoy!_

* * *

 ** _Gideon Rises_**

 _"You know DOC, I've been impressed with your own "children of time". They are more clever than you look. Especially the fat one."_

 _"...Hold on, what did you actually mean Cipher? What are you planning this time?!"_

 _"What I mean is that, I'm gonna let them off the hook, Doc._ _THEY might come in handy later. BUT KNOW THIS: A darkness approaches. A day will come in the future when everything you care about will change! Until then I'll be watching you! I'LL BE WATCHING YOU..."_

 _Bill began to disappear with familiar zodiac symbols around him, behind him seemed to be very **alien** ; markings are like circles and shapes with lines crossing..._

Suddenly, a dark shadow covers the entire dream; a wrecking ball began destroying the Mystery Shack mindscape. Dipper suddenly wakes up and screams.

"...I just had a horrible dream that Gideon stole the deed to the Mystery Shack! And kicked us out, and... we all had to move in with Soos' grandma?"

Soos came in, "That was no dream, dude."

The Doctor was on the couch, with a phone in his hands. "Yes...unfortunately."

Dipper screams. Everyone wakes up.

Abuelita comes in, "Shh. Por favor."

"Uh, sorry, Abuelita."

Mabel sits up, "Oh, Soos, your grandma is so adorable! And her skin is old lady soft. Haaaahhh!"

"Mabel, quit being creepy! The news is finally on." Stan stated.

 _"In a movement that has all of Gravity Falls buzzing, child psychic Gideon Gleeful."_ Showing a picture of a winking Gideon surrounded by a litter of playful puppies. _"Has taken surprise ownership of the Mystery Shack, previously belonging to area shyster, Stanford Pines."_ Showing a picture of Stan in a devil costume surrounded by fire.

"That picture's taken out of context."

"Agreed. We can't just sit here...I got something extremely important back at the place though..." The Doctor commented.

 _"Now that you have the shack, what exactly are you planning to do with it?"_

"I have a big announcement to make today, and I'd like to cordially invite all the good people of Gravity Falls to join me. Free admission to anyone who wears their Gideon pins! It's my face!"

The Doctor shook his head.

"I just can't believe Gideon beat us. Normally I'm able to save the day. This is all my fault." Dipper moaned.

"Don't worry, Dipper. Looks like Mabel's going to have to be the hero of the family now. I'll defeat Gideon with my grappling hook!"

"Mabel, no offense, but that grappling hook has literally never helped us once."

"Oh yeah? Jelly grab!"

Mabel shoots her grappling hook at a jar of jelly, causing it to break and splatter jelly on the walls. The Doctor grimaces.

"Well, not just like an usual vigilante person" The Doctor shrugs.

"I vacuum the walls now. "

"So you lost the Shack. Look on the bright side, dudes! Now you get to live here with me, Soos! Hey, anyone want to play race cars? They're out of batteries but we can make pretend."

Soos spits out two pieces of food.

"Would that be a new low if I ate that? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm totally eating it!"

"We gotta get the Shack back." Stan stated.

"Indeed...as the Doctor, I have already a plan..." The Doctor muses, very dangerous-like.

* * *

"Hello, Gravity Falls!" Gideon announced to his fellow audience members. All murmur positive things about him.

"Gideon is the psychic-est. He guessed the secret ingredient to my coffee omelette!"

"Somehow he knew about my horrifying secret birthmark!"

"I love that child psychic so much! He understand my past pain!" Wendy's tough father stated as he hugged Blubs and Durland tightly.

"You're chokin' me!"

"Grandma, is that you?"

Soon, the Pines and Soos with the Doctor are in their disguises, except for the Doctor-he wore his usual attire.

"We're in."

The Doctor stated, ".. _.of course_ , remember we got everything planned out-by exposing the "cute" fraud; we just need two pieces of evidence..."

"Just gonna say it, I don't know what we're doing here, but I'm loving these fake mustaches."

The Doctor chuckled lightly.

"If anyone asks, I'm not Soos." as he points to his hat that says "Not Soos" ironically.

The Doctor rolls his eyes in a positive way while grinning, "You Aren't Soos, Dude".

"Ladies and gentlemen! Today I am delighted to announce my plans for the former Mystery Shack. I give you... Gideonland!"

The Pines and Soos, except for the Doctor exclaim, "What?!"

"We're gonna turn this dirty ol' shack into three square miles of Gideon-tertainment. And introducin' our new mascot, Lil' Gideon Jr.!"

Bud Gleeful pulls off a cloak to reveal Waddles in a Gideon costume. "Uh-oh" The Doctor stated, signalling Wendy off distance-putting the plan already in action...

"Boom, he's a pig!"

"Waddles! You monster!"

Stan pulls off his disguise, "All right, that's it!"

The Pines push their way into the crowd and run up the stage.

"Listen up, people. Gideon's a fraud! This kid broke in and stole my property!"

"Arrest him, officers!"

"Yeah!" as Dipper and Mabel joined Stan.

Gideon defended him, "Such accusations! Mr. Pines, I recall you gave the property to me. Look, here's the deed right here!" He pulls the deed out of his shirt as he says this.

The Doctor scoffs, "...Yeah, right-..." as he readied his screwdriver.

"Well that's all the proof I need to see."

"I love you, Lil' Gideon! Sing them funny songs!"

Then Gideon, with burly guards, snaps his fingers, and the guards get ready to kick the Pines off the stage. The first grabs a hold of Mabel.

"Hey!"

Dipper and Stan are grabbed by the two guards.

"Now get off my property, old man!" as he slaps a Gideon pin on Stan. The Doctor pushes the button, "...Right on cue, Mr Gleeful..."

"I'll show you who's the old man! I-" His hearing aid then acts up, "Ow, my hearing aid! Ow!...oh yeah...right..."

The Pines let themselves be carried off the stage, purposefully. The Doctor soon joined up with them.

"Thanks for visiting Gideonland, friends! Don't come back, I don't care for y'all."

Soon, the Pines and Soos watch the ceremony, and the Doctor meeting Wendy's group of friends through a chain-link fence then sigh as they lean on it.

"...Don't worry, guys. We'll get the shack back somehow."

"Of course, Dipper! By the way-brilliant acting!"

Wendy appears with a determined face.

"We better."

"Wendy!"

"...Besides, if I can't work at the Shack, my dad's gonna force me to move upstate to work at my cousin's logging camp."

There's a noise from the bushes.

"Oh man, guys. Don't look now."

Robbie emerges from the bushes holding a boombox.

"Take me back, Wendy! My arms are too skinny to keep holding this boombox forever!"

Wendy mounts her bike, looking at the Doctor, "I hope you know what you doing, Doc..."

Robbie chases after her, "Have you been getting my texts? Do I need to send you more texts? Wendy!"

"Not now Robbie, for crying aloud...stick to the plan with the boombox! Reverse the Polarity!"

* * *

"This is not good. I cannot feed such a big family."

The Doctor bites off a jelly-type candy. "No worries, miss! Everything is going in action..."

"Yeah, like I mean, where are we gonna stay, Dipper? Where am I gonna put all my sweaters?"

"What's Stan gonna tell Mom and Dad?"

Soos adds in, "Dr Houston and Mr. Pines will figure something out. They always does."

Meanwhile, Stan on the phone with Dipper and Mabel's parents.

"...Don't worry, your son and daughter are fine. Where're we staying? Uh, I put 'em up in this amazing four-star hotel! Doc, is handling them just fine-afterall I seen, he's the best caretaker in the whole galaxy! What, uh, sure we got...plenty to eat. Relax, if I thought I couldn't take care of these kids, I'd send them back right with the Doc, right away. Uh huh, you too..."

The Doctor chuckles, while holding a Jamie Dodger, "Pfft, no for flattery-dear Stan."

"Grunkle Stan, can we order pizza?"

Stan checks his pockets only to discover they're empty, and sighs.

"I got it covered..." The Doctor stated.

* * *

Meanwhile, the construction of Gideonland is seemed to be underway. A picture of the Pines from fishing with the Doctor is thrown into it. It burns until the Doctor's face in the photo is consumed by the flames. Gideon is then laughing as he examines Journal 2. Meanwhile, Waddles attempts to climb out the window.

"You! Back to your corner!"

Waddles Scampers to the corner and starts cringing and shivering.

Bud Gleeful appears with his Pennyworth painting that Stan stole a while ago.

"I've been meaning to ask you boy. Shouldn't you be celebratin' Gideonland instead of stickin' your head in that there book all day?"

"Father, have I ever told you the true nature of this book? It was written many years ago by a brilliant unknown author who learned secrets too powerful for one man. He hid his journals where he thought no one would ever find 'em. I found mine at a certain _educational_ place! Because he knew that if the journals were ever bought together, they would unleash a gateway to unimaginable power. Codes and maps had led me to believe that the other book is buried somewhere on this very property, and I intend to find it!"

"So that's why you wanted the Mystery Shack." His father nonchalantly replied.

"That's right, father, it's time to begin the search for the other journal!" as he pulled out his shovel.

"And that search starts...WITH THAT!" as he jumps up and swings to hit and break open one of Stan's still standing attractions: the blue, police-related, box. The shovel merely bounced off of it with no single scratch.

Gideon growled, "OH HEAVENS BETSY!"

Outside Old Man McGucket is working on the Gideon's "Gideon-bot", Thompson is seen by meeting up with him, saying that he has a piece of message from an old friend...

* * *

"Go red car!"

"Go other red car!"

"This would be a lot more fun with batteries."

Soos moves the red car then it bumps the other red car out of its place.

Stan walks into the room and clears his throat, "Kids, we've got to talk. Look I've been thinking and... I can't take care of you anymore. I don't have house or a job. The plan is, you're goin' home with the Doctor, you guys leave tomorrow."

"But Grunkle Stan, you can't give up!"

"Yeah dude, look at these faces! Remember Doc saying that he has a plan?"

Soos begins nudging Mabel.

"Be cuter Mabel! Your summer depends on it!"

"Look, I lost, okay? I don't even think I can _trust_ even more in the Doctor in this. The best thing is for you to be with your parents. Sorry kids, Gideon won. Summer's over."

"Mr. Pines! RECONSIDER!" Soos runs after him. The Doctor walks in, "Something happened? I thought I told Stan to look closely at something-anyways we're in the next phase of our plan-Mabel?"

"Gideon may have the upper hand, but we have something he doesn't."

Dipper holds out the journal, "The journal!"

Mabel then holds out her grappling hook, "A grappling hoo- oh. The Journal... Journal!"

The Doctor chuckles, "No worries, that too!"

* * *

"...Alright, if we wanna stay in town we've got to get past those guards, make it through the fence, and get Gideon to hand over that deed."

The Doctor raises his eyebrows, "...going somewhere?"

"Leave that to Mabel. Wa-chaw!"

Mabel shoots the grappling hook. It hits a tree branch, then ricochets to the Doctor. It hits him in the face.

"Oof! Stick to the plan!"

Dipper retorted, "Now will you admit the grappling hook is useless?!"

"Nope!"

"Okay. What can we use to defeat Gideon? Let's see... Barf fairy?"

"Yeah!"

"Nope. Butternut Squash with a Human Face and Emotions?"

"Yeah!"

"Nope."

"Whoa, what's this?"

"I stared at this page for hours. It seems like a blueprint to build some kind of strange futuristic super-weapon-"

The Doctor quickly jumps up and shouted, "BORING! To draw Gideon out, we need some kind of-."

"...Wait a minute! An army! Doc, Mabel, that's it! The gnomes!" Dipper suddenly stated.

"Uhh..." Mabel nervously tugs her sweater's collar. The Doctor noticed. "Don't worries, we just needed them just for a while...

* * *

Soon the twins enter the forest with the Doctor.

"I think this is their hiding spot."

"I wonder what Gnomes do out here all alone in the forest?"

"Aaah!" as they finally found it.

They see Jeff bathing in squirrels. The Doctor whistles, "Oh, I almost forgot about this spot...""

"Do do do... Aah! This... this is normal. This is normal for gnomes. Scrub scrub."

The Doctor sighs, "I really wish I "un-saw" this..."

Dipper and Mabel look at each other disgusted, and look back at Jeff.

"Well, well, well. Look who came crawlin' back. Take five, Chris. You guys keep doin' what you're doin'. So, changed your mind about marryin' me, did ya Mabel?"

The Doctor scoffs.

"Ew, hardly. We need your help. And seriously, ew!"

"You want our help? After you left me at the alter? No dice!"

"But what if we were able to get you a new queen? One even more beautiful than me."

"Her name's Gideon, and she has lovely white hair."

The Doctor almost laughed aloud.

"Whoa. Mature woman, huh? Hey Shmebulock, get my cologne!"

Shmebulock comes in, "Shmebulock!"

"Is Shmebulock all you can say?"

"...For him, pretty much. Additionally, I have another proposition" The Doctor defended, "...So we have a deal?"

"It's a deal! What is it?..."

* * *

Stan is at the Gresy's Diner. "Waiter, give me a glass of the strongest most expired apple cider you've got."

"Sure thing, Mr. Pines. Say, where's Dr Houston?"

Stan looks up, "Soos? What are you doing here?"

Soos cleans glass, "Since the Mystery Shack shut down, Doc told me to be ready with Wendy and the others... Hey, is the kitchen supposed to have that much fire in it?" The kitchen is in a sea of fire, so Soos runs into kitchen and puts out fire with extinguisher.

Stan sighs, "You're a good man-child, Soos, but it's not lookin' good. This whole town loves Gideon and hates me. If only they knew how evil he really was! The Doc says that there is something in here...about a bug or something, I don't get it but I'm sending him off to their parents..." as he pulled out at the cringe-worthy Gideon's pin, almost growling and about to throw it away.

Soos walks over to Stan, putting his hand on his shoulder, "Hey, I'm here for you, dude."

"The entire lower half of your body is on fire."

Soos puts his hand on Stan's nose, then pats his arm as smoke emerges from his back, "Shh, we're having a moment..."

* * *

"Where are you, Journal?! Where are you!" as he still made many attempts on the blue box being brought outside-thinking it might be in there. Once he tried the safe-cracking methods with the tall blue box's lock, but it shot a light ray into one of his eyes-blinding him and made him more furious.

Bud approaches his steaming son, "Boy, I hate to interrupt you, but you have some guests..."

"What?!"

The Doctor approaches over Gideon, "Give us the deed to the shack, Gideon, or else."

"Am I supposed to say, "Or else what?" intruder!?"

Mabel pops up, "Yes, you are supposed to say that. Now!"

Suddenly an army of gnomes surround Gideon.

Gideon gasps.

Dipper announced, "You're surrounded by an unstoppable gnome army, now give us back our deed and get off our property!"

"And let the marriage ceremony begin!"

Gideon sighs, "Very well. I suppose this deed belongs to—"

Gideon pulls out a whistle and blows it and all the gnomes covers their ears.

"Ha! What do you know! Works on gnomes too!" Gideon blows the whistle again.

"Stop! We'll do anything! How can we serve you your majesty! The most beautiful girl we've ever seen!"

"I am not a girl!"

"Really? But your skin is so soft. You moisturize, or..."

Gideon points at Dipper, Mabel, and the Doctor, "Subdue them!"

The gnomes grunt and charge at Dipper and Mabel with the Doctor. The Doctor takes a protective stance in front of the twins. "...Let me take care of this-Stick to the Plan!"

Gideon walks over supposedly subdued Doctor with the gnomes, and the cowering twins. Dipper nervously pulls his journal in front of him...

"I have to admit, kids, I am impressed by your creativity! How did you ever..."

"Let go of our friend!" Gideon then swipes the journal, "Oh no!"

"No! Could it be? Is it?"

Gideon laughing, "Of course! It all makes sense! The one place I'd never think to look! You had it the whole time! And to think I actually considered you a threat!" as Gideon flicks Dipper's nose.

"No! Give it back!"

"Every victory you had was because of your precious book!"

"Give it back or I'll—"

Gideon interrupting, "Or you'll what, boy? You'll what? Huh? Huh? No muscles. No brains. Face it! You're nothin' without this! Bye bye forever, y'all!" as he whistles, and the gnomes carry The Doctor, with Dipper and Mabel away.

Dipper screams purposefully, "NOOOOOO!"

* * *

Soon, Gideon is holding Journal 3, and Old Man McGucket working on the Gideon-bot by filling gas while reading certain instructions from a sent message...

Soon the gnomes are running backing into the forest, Mabel pacing, and Dipper sitting on the floor. The Doctor then stands up.

"...Excellent work, gnomes! Send my regards, also. Next time-pick a differently hobby besides abducting others!" as he pulled out the monocle to his eye for a brief measure, revealing he swiped it before Gideon noticed.

Jeff replies, "...Will do, thanks for the whistle warning though..."

"...Well, that's it. Guess the plan didn't work..." Dipper stated.

The Doctor replied, "Nonsense, dear Dipper-you did just fine at _**acting**_! Everything is going according to plan, the gnomes played their part well, the journal is a perfect bait...if I remember correctly, Wendy with her friends are being brought by Bessie, right, now!"

The Doctor's supposed yellow car then busts out of the bushes and revealing it has an autopilot on. Wendy with Soos, Nate, Tambry, Robbie with a boombox, Thompson, and Lee are all hooting and whooping.

The Doctor snaps his fingers, which prompted Bessie to open the front seats' door. "...Shall we began, by, being chased by Gideon?" winking at the stunned Pines twins' faces.

* * *

Gideon giggles, "I've got it! I finally got it!" as he went running through the living room, exclaiming at Bud and Mrs. Gleeful, "Get out!"

"It's finally mine! At last, I have journal number-three?! There are THREE of them? But where is journal number one? I must have all three for the power to be unlocked! But where could I— Dipper, and his adult friend! He must know where it is! He gave me the third one and kept the first for himself!" as he rips out some of his hair, "I can't let them leave Gravity Falls! You there!" as he points at Old Man McGucket working on the Gideon-Bot. "Is it ready?"

Old Man McGucket laughs, "He he he! Only one way to find out!" as he pulls lever on Gideon-Bot and the robot glows. He soon ran out after finishing important message, given by none-other-than the Doctor.

Gideon runs inside the robot and is in his motion-sensor suit, he then punches his right hand, and the robot pushes the Gideonland sign into the ground. The Gideon-Bot walks away.

"I've got a bad feelin' about that kid!"

* * *

Soos' grandma is vacuuming the curtains and Stan is sitting on the couch.

"Well Stan, this is it. Rock bottom. No friends, no family, stuck watching infomercials for whatever that is..."

Stan picks up the Gideon pin, "How did you do it, kid? What do you mean, Doc? Why are you always one step ahead? Maybe he really is psychic after..."

His hearing aid acts up again, "Ah! My hearing aid! What keeps causing that? Wait a minute! That's it! I know Gideon's weakness! THANK YOU DOC! NOW I BELIEVE IN YA!"

Abuelita brings in tea, "Would Mr. Pines like a..."

Stan kisses Soos' grandma and runs to the door.

"I go vacuum my face."

* * *

The Doctor shouts, "EVERYBODY HOLD ON! THE FINAL PART OF OUR PLAN! ROBBIE, THE BOOMBOX!"

Right on cue, Robbie turns on the boombox's volumes more higher with the rest of the group cheering on, Wendy and Soos are given more further instructions by the Doctor...

Bessie kept on driving. "...Remember! After we got him at our place-we'll nab him!"

Dipper then shouts, "Giant robot!"

Mabel looks up, "Yeah, a giant robot... Wait, what?"

"Look!" Dipper points at the Gideon bot. The teens scream in horror.

Gideon bot runs after the car due to the attraction of the music from Robbie's boombox yelling.

"Halt! I command you to halt!"

Dipper and Mabel screams.

Dipper and Mabel straight up looked at the Doctor.

"There is a giant Gideon bot coming towards us!"

Soos notices the twins, "Oh hey, dudes!"

Dipper and Mabel stated in surprise, "Soos!"

"Don't worry guys. Dr Houston gave us many wild rides to us back at school!"

"EVERYONE, LIKE I SAID, HOLD ON!"

Gideon-bot tries to catch Bessie.

"Doc, look out!"

Gideon-bot blocks the way with its hand. The Doctor turns the car and smashes through a "Road Closed" sign. The Gideon-bot starts to climb up the mountain.

"He already "won"! What does he want from us? Doctor! Cliff!"

Bessie breaks the speed right before they fall off the cliff. The Gideon-bot comes right after and revealing Bessie only have Soos, Wendy, and the horrified teens.

"Okay. What's closest to our present situation..." Bessie then drives though between Gideon-bot's legs, and escapes with the others.

The Gideon-bot turns itself finding the Pines twins with the Doctor on the bridge. The Pines twins run but soon find that the bridge had dead ends. The Gideon-bot jumps on the bridge. "OY, KID! LOOK AT ME I AM A TARGET!"

The Doctor then takes a protected, and determined stance with the twins.

"Tell me! Where is Journal #1?!"

Dipper and Mabel except the Doctor shout out, "Journal #1?!"

"Don't play games with me, boy!"

The Gideon-bot drives the twins to the end and punches the cliff, causing rocks to fall on the twins, and the Doctor, "RUN!"

"We don't know what you're talking about! You took the only journal I ever had! What do you even want with these journals anyway?"

The Gideon-bot takes the twins. Mabel resists. The Doctor jumps up where Dipper is. "...Hopefully, we got enough time-McGucket only poured fuel a halfway..."

Dipper hits the hand of the Gideon-bot while being pulled up the Doctor, "Let go of her!"

"Ha ha ha, you still think you're some kind of hero?" as he flicks and throws both Dipper and the Doctor away.

The Doctor is struck behind on a giant rock. "OUCH!"

Dipper lands on the ground.

Gideon still believes he triumphs, "Once I find the final journal I'll rule this town! With you as my queen! HA-HA-HA-HA-what the?!"

The Gideon-bot creaked halfway, revealing it is low and about to be empty on fuel. "OH HEAVEN BETSY!"

Mabel screamed out, "Doctor! Dipper! Help me! HELP!"

 _"Face it kid, you're nothing without that journal. How are you gonna fight then? No muscles. No brains. What are you gonna do, huh? What are you gonna do!"_

The Doctor interrupted Dipper's doubtful thoughts, "On the contrary, Gleeful-it would be a fight with wits and planning, we are going to jump! We are going to jump, Now!"

Dipper then shakes out his head, and trusted the Doctor that had the plan set up: to draw Gideon out here. Both ran for distance and jumped...right into Gideon's surprised face's eyes separately.

The Doctor shouted while rewiring the systems inside the robot, "Keep him at company!"

 _Everything that kills me, makes me feel alive._

"Let go of my sister!"

 _Lately I been, I been losing sleep._

The Gideon-bot's head moves, showing that Dipper hit Gideon.

 _Dreaming 'bout the things that we could be._

'Never! I finally won this time!"

 _Baby I been, I been prayin' hard._

The Gideon-bot is fighting, which is Gideon's movement inside. Gideon then tackles Dipper and punches him. Dipper stands up and blocks Gideon's punch. Then he makes Gideon's fist to punch himself. Then Dipper makes him punch a little stronger which makes the Gideon-bot's head turn around.

 _Said no more counting dollars._

The Doctor ran to the broken eyes opening, "MABEL HOLD ON!"

 _We'll be counting stars._

Mabel then grabs the thumb, "Careful in there!"

 _Lately I been, I been losing sleep._

The bot wakes a bit then falls off the bridge. Dipper and Mabel falls off from the bot, screaming. The Doctor falls far from the twins with the robot. "MABEL, QUICKLY THhee GRAaappiiinnnggg hhhhoookkkk-!"

 _Dreaming 'bout the things that we could be._

Bessie has dropped off the teens, Wendy, and Soos at a safe distance before heading off to where the blue box is, "Dudes! Nooooooooooo!"

 _Baby I been, I been prayin' hard._

Wendy shouts, "Dipper! Mabel! DOCTOR HOU-"

 _Said no more counting dollars._

The bot falls on the ground and it causes an explosion big enough for every one in the town to see. The Gideon-bot is broken, and its pieces are all around. Then something comes down from the top with a string. It was Dipper and Mabel, with her grapping hook.

 _We'll be, we'll be counting stars..._

"Mabel, that was amazing!"

"GRAPPING HOOK! Told you it will come in handy! Not amazing as you defeating that robot! But, urm-DOCTOR!"

Mabel and Dipper land on the ground safely.

The Doctor groans, from the robot's big fall-while being protected inside. "...ooohhh!" But shakes himself out, after seeing the twins being safe. Wendy and Soos with the teens ran over to the Doctor giving a hug, "Dr Houston!"

"Whoa-very sorry about that wild ride-phew! Robbie are you hugging me?" Robbie in turn just hugged the Doctor tighter in response. "Heh-Heh, touche...welp! Time to expose a fraud!"

"Hey! My journal!" as Dipper picks up the journal 3.

The cops come and lots of people starts to gather around.

"Is this the thing that exploded?"

"What's going on?"

"What is that? It's over here!"

Gideon comes out from the Gideon-bot.

Deputy Durland runs to Gideon, "Gideon! Oh, good heavens! What on earth happened here?"

"It was the Pines twins!...And the teens with HIM! They tried to attack me and blow up my statue with dynamites! Arrest 'em!"

Dipper and Mabel, with teens shout out, "What?!"

"Officers, he's lying!"

Manly Dan started to approach the Doctor with a furious intent, but relented shockingly when Wendy quickly brought herself between them.

Sheriff Blubs replied, "Sorry kidos, but we trust Gideon. And nothing short of a miracle would ever change our-"

Stan comes in a car screaming.

"Wait! Wait! Stop everything! I've got somethin' to say!"

"Not this guy again."

"Just wait! Look! You guys all think Gideon is so perfect and honest" as he mocks Gideon. "Oh! I could never tell a lie! I'm Gideon!" The Doctor grins.

"He's more honest than you!"

"Yeah! And he's psychic too!:

"How's this for psychic? Bam!" Kicks the Gideon-bot; a panel falls off. "Take a good look!"

Inside of the bot there are many screens showing the Gravity Falls' people.

"Wait a minute, is that ME?"

Lazy Susan on TV: " _The secret ingredient to my coffee omelet is coffee!"_

"And me!"

The Doctor was also on TV with Toby: _"I can verify that that birthmark is indeed disgusting. Cheer-up!"_

 _"Hooray!"_

The crowd adds in, "That's me! That's me!"

The teens breath out in a close call of an "evil little kid" trying to persuade a mob. The Doctor tinted his fedora.

"That's right, these pins are hidden cameras! And my hearing aid was picking up the feedback! Who's the fraud now?" As he breaks the pin revealing there was a camera in the eye of it.

The people all throw away the pins and looked angrily at Gideon.

"Gideon, we gave you our trust..."

Manly Dan shouted out, "You LIED to us!"

"Please, I... It's not what it looks like... What are you gonna do with me?"

"Tyler?"

"Get 'im...Get 'im!"

"Lil' Gideon, you are under arrest for conspiracy, fraud, and breaking our hearts. Durland, the tiny handcuffs."

Durland puts the tiny handcuffs on Gideon.

"Wha- no!"

The Doctor whistles, "Tsk! Drawn out due to your greediness, eh? Pride goes before thy fall..."

Stan goes in, "Just one more thing."

"Let go of me! Ow! Ow! Ow!" as he dropped variety of items, including journal 2 and the deed.

"I believe this belongs to me."

"No! No! Watch the hair! OW MY EYE! You can't do this to me! Y'all are sheep! You need me! I'll be back! You'll hear from my lawyers!"

* * *

"There you have it. Local hero Stanford Pines has just exposed Li'l Gideon as a fraud. Anything you have to say to the town, Stanford?"

The Doctor straightens up fondly.

"The Mystery Shack is back, baby!"

Soon, inside of the gift shop which is more successful than ever. Stan is taking money from customers.

"Ahaha! Oh, thank you, thank you!"

Back at the twins' attic bedroom, Mabel and Dipper are unpacking.

"Hey, Grunkle Stan!"

"Uh, you kiddos settlin' back in okay?"

"Yep! All of my favorite moldy spots on the ceiling are still there! Even you, Daryl."

Dipper goes in, "Hey, Grunkle Stan, me and Mabel with Doc have been talking, And I think there's something we should finally tell you. This is a journal I found in the woods. It talks about all the crazy stuff that goes on in Gravity Falls. Gideon nearly destroyed the whole town trying to find it. I don't know what it means, or who wrote it. But, after all we've been through, maybe you should finally know about it."

Stan solemnly closes the book. The Doctor wistfully remembers something...

"I'm glad you showed me this, Dipper... AHAHAHA! Now I know where you've been getting it all from! Spookums and monsters. This spooky book has been filling your head with crazy conspiracies!"

"But it's all real!"

"Haha. You gotta quit readin' this fantasy nonsense for your own good. Although some of these would make great attractions! Can't come up with this stuff! Mind if I borrow this?" Stan gets up, taking the book with him and starts to leave.

The Doctor approaches inside the room. Stan signals to him that he got something...

"Wait, no! Grunkle Stan!"

"Magic book. Ridiculous!"

"Stan, I need it!"

"Dipper, you don't need that book! Don't you see? On your own you defeated a giant robot with nothing but your bare hands! You're a hero whether you've got that journal or not!"

The Doctor brightens up, "Agreed!"

"Whoa. Thanks, Mabel. I still want it back though."

The Doctor adds in, "...Don't worry, everything would be wrapped up soon...I sure hope so..."

Soos shoots water guns at Dipper and Mabel and pops out of cardboard box, "Soos-ed!"

Dipper and Mabel get up and laughingly chase after Soos.

The Doctor smiles, then walks where the blue box is. He pats on it-and follows Stan at the room where the vending machine is...

Stan enters a code to enter the doorway behind the vending machine. He climbs down a set of stairs to an elevator with the Doctor.

The Doctor opens a panel besides the elevator and inputs the alchemists' symbols, "Almost done...composition...pulverize...digestion...and fusion. And Down!"

Both enter and the elevator and goes to the third floor. Stan exits into a room filled with complex looking machines and sensors. He walks past them to a desk and switchboard. He opens the desk and pulls out a book, revealing it to be Journal #1.

"After all these years, Doc..."

Stan sets down his journal, Journal #2, which he had swiped from Gideon when he picked up the deed to the Mystery Shack, and Journal #3 respectfully from Dipper.

"Finally, we can have them all to fix this..."

Stan puts together Journals 1, 2, and 3, revealing a complex image algorithm. He confers it as he presses buttons and switches. A machine beyond the glass of the switchboard lights up.

"Doc, is it working?"

The Doctor responded, "Yes..."

Stan rushes to the room with the machine that contained a certain giant symbol that looks _alien-like spiral_ and pushes a large lever in front of it.

The machine crackles with large bursts of electricity sending beams of light in every direction, and finally turns on completely; a bright, white light emanating from it's central hole, blowing a steady stream of air at the Doctor. He clutches his fedora in response.

Stan then stands proudly in front of it. His hands on his hips, and smiles in satisfaction.

"Here we go, again..."

2-9-12-12 9-19 23-1-20-3-8-9-14-7. 4-15-14'20 18-5-22-5-18-19-5 20-8-5 3-9-16-8-5-18-19. 4-15-14'20 5-1-20 8-9-13! 20-8-5 16-15-18-20-1-12 23-8-5-14 3-15-13-16-12-5-20-5-4 23-9-12-12 15-16-5-14 1 7-1-20-5-23-1-25 20-15 9-14-6-9-14-9-20-5 14-5-23 23-15-18-12-4-19 1-14-4 8-5-18-1-12-4 1 14-5-23 5-18-1 9-14 13-1-14-11-9-14-4'19 21-14-4-5-18-19-20-1-14-4-9-14-7 15-6 20-8-5 21-14-9-22-5-18-19-5. 16-12-21-19, 9-20 23-9-12-12 16-18-15-2-1-2-12-25 7-5-20 7-9-18-12-19 20-15 19-20-1-18-20 20-1-12-11-9-14-7 20-15 13-5 6-9-14-1-12-12-25. 19-5-1-18-3-8 6-15-18 20-8-5 2-12-9-14-4-5-25-5. 20-8-5 4-15-3-20-15-18 23-9-12-12 14-15-23 8-1-22-5 6-21-14-14-25 19-8-5-14-1-14-9-7-1-14-19 23-9-20-8 20-8-5 16-9-14-5-19 6-1-13-9-12-25, 2-21-20 8-15-23 12-15-14-7?


	21. Chapter 21

_lautaro94: For the Doctor in this AU crossover, he already knows that time with precision planning is always not that simple. He already knew the Pines Family very personally from the start, and what they will be in the future...pretty much on the edge of being very cunning and manipulative like his seventh incarnation..._

 _Emazing Pete on WF Shorts: Thanks for the awesome reviews! Glad that you enjoyed certain references...and yes, the color blue that you think would be correct ;)_

* * *

 ** _Scary-oke_**

In the middle of the night, a massive blue light is glowing inside the Mystery Shack.

Inside the twins' bedroom they and Waddles are both sleeping, but Waddles wakes up because of the light.

Both the Doctor and Stan in his secret underground lab looking at the portal.

The portal's context was in an upside triangle shape: containing a peculiar alien emblem upon it.

"...Thirty long years and it's all let up to this, Doc! I would say it's my greatest achievement! Probably should've worn pants, you know?"

The Doctor chuckles in response. Then narrows his eyes in thought, "...and hopefully, we might stop that _one-eyed fiend_..."

He was scanning readings underneath the complex machine with his usual sonic.

The machine spouts out some fire that hits Stan in the shoulder and the Doctor, without looking, takes out the usual fire extinguisher out-of-nowhere to spray out the fire.

"Whoa! Thanks!" Stan replies as he begin flipping switches, and looks at readouts.

"If we finally pull this off, it'll all have been worth it. I just have to keep playing it cool; if anyone ever finds out about this..."

He looks at a picture of Dipper and Mabel.

"...sooner or later, Stan-the kids are going to be smarter than they look. We have to break it to them," as the Doctor continues finishing up last touches.

"Yeah...right. We've come this far. Who could possibly catch us now?"

Stan pulls out a _six-fingered_ glove and pulls a switch labeled Max. Power, which powers up the machine, causing a power surge around town.

Meanwhile, Wendy is still sleeping and Gideon in his jail cell noticed the light and opening one eye.

* * *

Unknown to Stan and the Doctor, an US government base has scanned and found the unusual readings with sound waves. Two federal agents, Agent Trigger and Agent Powers, are sitting in front of the screen.

"See there! There it is again!"

"We haven't seen readings like this for thirty years."

"Is it coming from deep space? An enemy weapon site?"

"Just as I suspected. Gentlemen! We're going to Gravity Falls!"

* * *

It was morning, Stan's own alarm clock wakes him up, he is still in the secret lab with a blanket covering him. The Doctor is nowhere to be found.

"Oh right...Showtime...Doc?"

"Right up here, Stan! Do your well-known attire, I'll be checking up with **_her_**..."

Soon enough, Stan was up with everyone, and was portraying his proud self. "Welcome, to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack!"

Tourists cheer for Stan.

"We're here to celebrate the defeat of that skunk Li'l Gideon!"

"Boo!"

"Please, please... boo harder!"

"BOO!"

"But I didn't catch that porkchop all alone. These two scamps deserve SOME of the glory!" as he playfully rubs Dipper's hat.

Mabel elbows Stan.

"Okay, okay. Most of the glory."

Toby Determined holds up cinder block painted to look like a camera. "Smile for the camera!"

"Your camera's a cinder block, Toby." Stan deadpans.

"I just wanna be a part of things..."

Shandra Jimenez stated, "Smile for a REAL camera."

Mabel shouts, "Everybody say "Something stupid!"

Mabel pokes her fingers in her cheeks, Stan puts on some jazz hands, and Dipper pretends to choke himself, "Something stupid!" The Doctor was at the background smiling.

"And don't forget to come to the after-party tonight at eight!"

"We're doing a karaoke bonanza, people!" as Mabel grabs karaoke machine. "Light! Music! Enchantment! And an amazing karaoke performance by our family band, Love Patrol Alpha!"

"I don't know about that." Dipper stated.

Stan adds in, "I would never agree to that ever."

"Too late! I wrote your names on the list! Doc plats the electric guitar! It's happening!"

Wendy Corduroy blows an air horn, "Buy a ticket, people! You know you don't have anything going on in your lives! I'm talking to you, Pizza Guy! Don't lame out on me!"

Tourists follow Wendy outside.

Stan sighs, "...The town loves us, we finally got that Gideon smell out of the carpet. Everything is finally going my way..."

Dipper interrupts, "Hey, Grunkle Stan. Now that we have a moment. I've been meaning to ask you for my journal back."

"Wha? Journal? Oh! Ha! You mean this old thing! It was so boring I couldn't even finish it. Anyways, have some fun with Doc as usual, since I _trust_ him...I got work to do..."

"Wait, you're just gonna give it to me? Just like that?"

Stan replies curtly, "What else do you want? A kiss on the cheek?"

"I... I gotta go!" as he takes Mabel with him to the attic.

Soos Ramirez, the Shack's daily handyman adds in, "I wouldn't mind a kiss on the cheek."

"Not gonna happen."

The Doctor chuckles nearby as he leans on a familiar blue wooden police box...

* * *

Dipper locks the attic's door, turns Mabel's stuffed animals around, pulls down the screen on the window and turns on his electric lamp.

"Mabel, we've gotta talk. _Almost_ losing my journal made me realize that I'm halfway through the summer, and still no closer to figuring out the big mysteries of Gravity Falls. Gideon almost destroyed the town to get his hands on this journal. But why? Who wrote it? Where are all the other journals? What was **Bill** talking about when he begin saying _"everything was going to change",_ and things to our friend? There's something HUGE going on right under our noses. And it's time we stop goofing around and get to the bottom of it!"

"Bro, you looked at that thing like, a bazillion times. There's nothing left to discover! Half the pages are blank, remember?"

"I just feel like I'm one puzzle piece away from figuring out everything."

"Don't worry Dipper! Lord Mystery Ham is on the case! I play by me own rules! Wot? Wot?"

"I don't know why I tell you things...do you hear that?"

* * *

A car parks. Two men step out of the car and look at the Shack.

Soos notices. "Hey, Mr. Pines, what's that code word I'm supposed to yell when I see a government vehicle?"

"Wait, what?" Stan goes near Soos and looks outside the window too. "Government vehicle?"

"You did something again, Stan?" The Doctor joins up with them.

A "U.S. Government" vehicle arrives near the Mystery Shack, a "USEXEMPT" is on the vehicle's number-plate, and a sticker that says "Honk If You Want To Be Arrested" is on the back of the car.

The Doctor sighs, face-palming, "You know, I sometimes hate stuff like this happen every time. We got to have a filter on the readings-seriously."

Stan, with a scared look on his face, then quickly closes the window, goes to the Mystery Shack's intercom and screams into it.

"The Mystery Shack is now closed, everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!"

Mabel and Dipper run to Stan while all the customers are leaving the gift shop.

"Grunkle Stan, what's happening?"

"Yeah, you never shut down the gift shop."

Stan is walking nervously in the gift shop, a door bell ring is heard and a few knocks after it.

Stan opens the door with a fake smile. "Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen! What can I get you?" Stan takes out a snow globe and an U.F.O key chain of his jacket. "Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American presidents?" As Stan pulls a five dollar bill out of his sleeve as he begins to sweat.

Two men are shown standing in the doorway in front of Stan, showing their government I.D. cards.

"My name is Agent Powers and this is Agent Trigger, we're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town."

Trigger points at Stan. "Activity!"

"Mysterious activity? In the Mystery Shack? You gotta be joking!"

"I assure you I'm not. I was born with a rare disorder that made me physically incapable of experiencing humor."

Stan laughs nervously, the Doctor comes up, "Oh Please, always take a banana to the upcoming party, Mabel! Bananas are good!"

Mabel and Dipper giggle at their family friend's random joke.

Powers scoffs, "I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth, sir. Now if you'll excuse us we are conducting an investigation." as both men enter the Mystery Shack.

"Pfft, what lot are you guys going to do here? Moisturize us?" The Doctor chuckles.

"Wait! Wait, did you guys say you're investigating the mysteries of this town?" Dipper jumps in.

"That information is classified" as Powers kneels down. "...but yes. Look. Between you and me I believe there is an conspiracy of paranormal origin all connected to this town. We're just one small lead away from blowing the lid of this entire mystery."

Dipper's jaw fell down, "Are you kidding me? I'm investigating the exact same thing! I found this journal in the woods which has almost all the answers. If we work together, we could crack the case!"

Powers checks Agent Trigger. "If you have evidence of these claim, we should talk."

"We could talk right now! Please please. C-Come in! I have so much to show you!"

Stan interrupts, "Hehe, I'm sorry agents. The kid has an overactive imagination. And like, a sweating problem."

"Haha! Zing!" Mabel shouts.

"Paranormal town stuff is just part of gift shop lore. Sells more tickets you know?"

"Popodopopo! Swag!" as Soos sticks "What is the Mystery Shack?" bumper stickers to both agents and puts some funny antennae on their heads.

"We have other spots to investigate. We'll be on our way." Powers deadpans.

Trigger takes ten Stan bobbleheads, "I'm confiscating this for evidence."

"Smart move."

"Hey-you got to pay for that you know!" The Doctor jokingly elbows Stan.

However, Dipper runs up, "Wait! No, wait! We got so much to talk about!"

Stan stops Dipper, "Hold it kiddo. Trust me, the last thing you want around during a party, is cops. I'm confiscating that card."

Dipper gasps.

"Now how's about you being a normal kid. Flirt with a girl, or steal a pie off a window sill." as he puts card in "Contraband Box" and walks into the living room.

"But Grunkle Stan! You don't understand!"

"And don't go talking to those agents."

Dipper pouts, "Ugh! That could've been my big break!"

Mabel takes the journal. "Bro, maybe Grunkle Stan is right. We're throwing a party tonight! Can't you go one night without searching for aliens or raising the dead or whatever?"

"Which would in turn, a sheriff named Shaun fights the dead walking with mad cow diseases, take a train to Busan, a yacht to Lake Michigan, a battle against an evil folding canopy company while altogether making hard choices in choose-your-own-adventure format to get a good ending all in twenty-eight days?" The Doctor raising both his eyebrows.

Dipper rolls his eyes, "I'm not gonna raise the dead. I just need a chance to show those agents my book!"

"Trust me Dipper, the only book you'll need tonight is right here: Boop! I say kara–, you say –oke! Kara–kara– kara–I could do this all day."

The Doctor laughs, "-Oke it is! But then again Dipper..."

Dipper looks at him.

"When you're a kid, they tell you it's all… Grow up, get a job, get married, get a house, have a kid, and that's it. But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It's so much darker. _And so much madder. And so much better_." The Doctor winks at Dipper reassuringly.

* * *

At the party, Soos places a nacho bowl, Mabel stands on the podium while Stan walks to the Shack.

Stan gets shot by Mabel's confetti cannon, "Aah!"

"Well, the confetti cannon works! And the karaoke machine has all the best songs! "We Built This Township on Rock and Roll," "Danger Lane to Highway Town," and "Taking Over Midnight"!"

"Listen kid, you do not want to hear this voice singing. Trust me."

"Grunkle Stan, karaoke is not about sounding good, it's about sounding terrible, TOGETHER."

Wendy laughs; to Dipper. "Check it out! These black lights make my teeth look scary. It's like a crime scene in my mouth! C'mon, you love it."

Dipper sighs, "It's not fair. Finally I meet someone who can help me solve the mysteries of this town, and Stan confiscates their card."

"Dude, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but I'm pretty sure Stan hides, like, everything in his room."

"Ugh, if I go into Stan's room I could get in so much trouble."

"Yeah, you're probably right. That's what makes it fun, dummy!" as she party hat on Dipper's head.

The Doctor watches afar, smiling and remembering someone that he once knew about...and is glad that her daughter is being alright.

Soos meanwhile went stacking Piñatas shaped like Grunkle Stan's head.

"Man, I can't wait to smash these "Stañatas!"

Grenda jumps in, "Smash!" as she dives into the Stañatas, breaking them and the table they are on. "Grenda has entered the party!"

Candy Chiu picks up candy from the destroyed Stañatas. "Stan's brains look delicious."

"Girls!" Mabel hugs Candy and Grenda.

"Omigosh! Omigosh, Mabel! Is that a boombox sweater?"

"See for yourself!"

"Poke!" Grenda pokes the boombox on Mabel's sweater.

The boombox starts flashing and music plays. The three girls start dancing.

"Ha! Ha! Yes, work it! Hah!"

Soon, the Mystery Shack's parking lot is full as some vehicles pull in. Gompers is standing on the "Mystery Shack" sign. Thompson, Tambry, Nate and Lee are walking towards the party.

"Aw, I thought this was gonna be a rave."

"Thompson, take off your shirt and make it a rave!"

"Don't need to, CHECK OUT DOC!"

The Doctor is somewhat in his classy tuxedo attire, dancing off and shaking his head to the beat. Mabel with her friends laugh and joins in. "That's terrible-and embarrassing!" Mabel giggles.

"That's it! Keep on dancing, and KEEP IT LOSE! WOO-HOO!" as he prompts many others to shake their arms together.

Tambry takes pictures and presses "SEND ALL" button on her phone.

Stan at a table with "ADMISSION 10" written on the front.

Lazy Susan walks past and hands Stan some money while carrying a pie. "Who's got one good eye and one good pie?"

Manly Dan walks past and hands Stan money while carrying two kegs with "MEAT" written on them. "These kegs are full of MEAT!"

Tyler Cutebiker walks past and hands Stan money while looking at his phone and laughing. "Tambry sends me the craziest texts!"

"The whole town is showing up! And no sign of those pesky agents... Wendy, Dipper. How are those posters coming along?" as he looks at where Dipper and Wendy were, notices they're gone, and frowns.

"Hmm..."

* * *

A piece of wood is nailed to the door of Stan's room reads "STAN'S ROOM." A sign hanging on a nail below it reads "NO MINORS ALLOWED." A picture of Dipper with a cross through it and "THAT MEANS YOU!" written on it is pinned to the door. A "Do not disturb" sign is on the doorknob.

Wendy stated, "I'll keep an eye out for Stan. You go rustle through his weird old man biz."

Dipper opens the door and walks into Stan's room. "Alright, Grunkle Stan. Where did you hide that card?" as he opens drawer with Gold Chains For Old Men and UFO: Blue Box magazines.

"Nothing."

He opens drawer with knuckledusters and boxing gloves.

"Nothing."

He opens chest containing Fully Clothed Women magazine and Lady Swimwear magazine.

"Ew! Pretending I never saw that."

Then ends up in front of a portrait of Stan. "Wait a minute..." He moves portrait to reveal a secret compartment with a box labelled "Contraband" in it. "Haha, yes!

He takes out box and unfortunately pulls out Agent Powers' card. "I got it!" and picks up the phone and dials the number on the card.

 _"Agent Powers."_

"Hi, this is Dipper. Th-The kid from the Mystery Shack. The one with the, um, "sweating problem." I have that journal I wanted to show you!"

 _"And you're certain this "journal" will help our case?"_

"I'm a hundred percent positive."

 _"Very well. We're on our way."_

Stan then upfront appears and presses a button to end the phone call.

Dipper gasps.

Wendy pokes her head in, "Sorry, Dipper." as she shows her phone with the picture of the Doctor dancing. "I got distracted."

"Kid, why did you call those agents? I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times!" As he furiously grabs phone from Dipper. "There's nothing "supernatural" going on in Gravity Falls!"

"Yes, there is! After everything that's happened you have to know that by now. Even Doc KNOWS!"

"All I know is that your dumb obsession is gonna get us all in trouble one of these days. Now go enjoy the rest of the party, 'cause when it's over – you're grounded, No Expectations!"

Dipper and Wendy walk away. Dipper looks at Stan angrily.

Stan sighs...

 _"He reminds you of someone doesn't he?"_

* * *

Quickly, Stan enters the code, goes inside it, then checks to see if anyone is watching before closing it behind him. "...let's see, Doc says to reverse something-somewhat-thingy..."

At the party, Mabel walks from left to right.

"Hey boys! Looking good! Gorney! You clean up nice! That's the problem officers? Did you catch my face going ninety smiles per hour?"

"We've got complaints about the loudest party in town."

"Three words: We want in."

Mabel lifts up party horns and put them in Durland and Blubs' mouths; whispering, "Welcome to your dreams!"

Blubs and Durland blows party horns.

The Doctor meanwhile soon spots Dipper waiting out for someone...

* * *

Soon at the Mystery Shack parking lane, the government vehicle from earlier appears. Agent Trigger and Agent Powers get out of it. They look at their watches.

Dipper approaches them, "Guys, I'm so glad to see you. Working together we can crack all of the big questions of Gravity Falls! Trust me, this book is the lead you've been looking for. I'm thinking full scale investigation. Forensics, researchers. Do you guys have a helicopter? I'm sorry, "helicopters."

"Kid, I'd love to believe you, but this just looks like more junk from your uncle's gift shop. I mean, Leprecorn? I can't be the only one who thinks that's not funny."

"I can confirm. Not funny."

"No, no, no! It's real, I swear! You should "send it to the lab." Am I saying that right?"

Powers hands Dipper back the journal, "Your uncle was right about that overactive imagination of yours. We've got paperwork to do, kid."

"Boring. Paperwork."

"Hold on! This book is, full of cursed objects, spells! LISTEN! Uh, uh-" Dipper flips through the pages.

The Doctor suddenly runs up, "Dipper-? Wait, WAIT, WAIT!-"

"Corpus Levitus! Diablo Dominus! MONDO VICIUM!"

"Vicium" echos through the air, as a large gust builds up. The ground starts shaking.

"Huh?"

"AAH!"

A huge crack forms between Dipper's feet he jumps away and lands near the Agents. Green smoke comes out of the crack. A zombie slowly climbs out and roars.

The Doctor steadies his sonic.

"Ha, a zombie! A real, actual, zombie. See? Spooky journal, 100% real. Now can we work together?"

Powers shouts out, "Mother of all that is holy!"

Trigger screams, "What do we do?!"

Dipper replies, "It's just one zombie, trust me I see stuff like this all the time."

Dipper scans trough his journal, looking for a solution. Then after a few seconds the zombie roars in his face about to eat his brains.

Dipper screams.

The Doctor quickly kicks the zombie, knocking it out.

"Whew. Oh, good thing it was just that one."

The ground starts shaking again more cracks form, more green smoke, and suddenly hundreds of zombies appear and start going after the Doctor, Dipper, Agent Trigger, and Agent Powers.

"Oh my gosh! You guys can help right?!"

"Kid, we've been chasing the paranormal for years but we have never seen anything like this before!"

"Get down!" The Doctor shouted, "AND RUN!"

"Sir, whoever you are, may I inform you that we are the ones giving out orders-"

The Doctor quickly flips his psychic paper and puts it back in his coat, "Top level clearances from UNIT and Torchwood! S.P also! NCIS and CSI! W.H.O! Full list of: G-Force! B.S.I! CHERUB! AVL!" as he swipes at another incoming undead zombie.

"LXG! JLA with TT and Waller! U.N.C.L.E! Avengers and SHIELD! Global Justice! Mr Claus' friends! G.U.N! NEST! G.I.J! B.o.A! C. Family with Hystorians! Triple X program!" He points his sonic in front of the three causing one to explode.

"O.S.S! K.N.D! W.H.O.O.P! S.A.D junior summer camp! Spy School, Spy High! Kingsmen! The A-Team! Agency 355! Remnants! V.F.D! And let's not _forget_ -M.I.B!"

Suddenly, the zombies grab and pull the stunned agents into the darkness of the forest screaming, leaving Dipper by himself.

"OH, MY GOSH, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"

"Damn! Shouldn't have blurted out past dimesions-visits! Though liked to find out how Holmes gotten Torchwood's business card...Anyways-" The Doctor sees Dipper is still alive. "RUN!"

* * *

At party, everyone is happy, dancing, and having a good time.

"What up, fools. It's Blubs and Durls!"

"Making all that money and gettin' them girls!"

"What do you say guys is this party legendary? When I say "Mabel" you say "Pines"!"

Suddenly, the ground starts shaking.

"Mabel!"

A woman screams.

"Mabel!"

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

"Why does that never work?"

"Whoa, WHOA! I think it's an earthquake!" Wendy blows airhorn. "Hey, everybody, we got to get out of here!"

"We are all doomed!"

"Quick, into my getaway pouch."

Candy jumps into Grenda's backpack.

"Mabel, escape while you still can!"

"Wait, no! Don't leave! We haven't even done our family karaoke song yet!"

The Doctor and Dipper runs into the party. Soos and Mabel are the only ones left. Mabel notices the zombies following them.

"Dipper! What's the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?!"

Dipper replies, sounding ashamed, "Raise the dead."

"And what did you do?"

"Raise the dead."

As the zombies get closer, Mabel and Dipper back up as Soos heroically steps in front to protect them. The Doctor points his sonic at various directions. "GUYS! FIND A SAFE LOCATION!"

"Stay back dudes, this is about to get intense!" Soos exclaims.

Zombie knocks over a table, forcing them into a dead end, as the zombies surround them.

All scream.

"Sorry, one second." Soos takes out his phone and takes a picture. "You got to admit this is pretty cool."

* * *

"ZOMBIES!"

"Don't panic. Maybe they're just a really ugly flash mob?!"

A zombie swings and almost hits their heads before they duck. They run behind Soos while screaming.

"Dudes, stay calm. I've been training for this moment my whole life. With all the horror movies I've seen, I literally know all there is to know about to avoid zombies."

A zombie bites Soos, and he becomes a zombie.

"Second thought, gonna flip the script. Can I, eat your brains? Yea or Nay? Seeing some Yea faces over here."

"SOOS!" The Doctor fearfully exclaims.

Dipper and Mabel scream.

They run around the side of the house, Soos and the other zombies in slow pursuit. Dipper slices through a zombie with his shovel.

"Quick! The golf cart!"

Zombies attack the golf cart, tipping it over and biting at it.

"Aw, come on!"

"Hoo, that's a bummer. Good news for me though, ha ha." Zombiefied Soos exclaims.

"Soos!"

"Sorry, dude, I just really want those brains!"

"Stay back!"

Dipper hits a colorful disco ball at the zombies. One of the zombies catches it in its mouth and swallows it, sending rays of colorful light shining out between its ribs. They continue advancing toward the twins, who stand in fear.

"Give it up, dudes! Your fighting only makes us look more rad!"

"What do we do? Where's Grunkle Stan?"

"How's he supposed to help? He doesn't even believe in the supernatural!"

Down at the secret lab, the portal glowing and making a zapping noise. Stan is in his chair, pushing buttons.

"Those agents could ruin everything. Darn kid! He has no idea what he's messing with. He's stubborn, that's his problem." He looks at his face reflected in the cover. "Like Doc says...sorta like me, I suppose. Ugh, I got too much on my mind to worry about those kids right now. Doc can handle them. All right, let's see..."

Dipper, Mabel, and Waddles with the Doctor run from the zombies. A zombie pops up in front of the twins.

"Take that, sucka!" Mabel hits the zombie with the karaoke machine. Its head flies off. "This thing's a surprisingly good weapon!"

More zombies approach behind them. The kids scream and run into the Shack. "IN HERE!" The Doctor exclaims.

"Quick! We need to board up all the windows!"

They pile things in front of the door, blocking it. The zombies press against the door and begin to break it.

"Okay, maybe that'll hold 'em."

The window crashes open. Zombiefied Soos leans in.

"Hey dudes! By the way, I taught the zombies how to get into the fuse box. Among these dudes I'm like a genius, haha!"

The Shack lights go out, with red light pouring in from outside. Zombies start climbing in through the window.

"Get those brains, dawg!"

Dipper runs for the other door, just as a zombie hand smashes through. He gasps and backs into the corner with Mabel.

"Damn! The way to the attractions are blocked! There is too many of them, I can only get one sonic frequency at a time!" The Doctor shouts. He then takes a protective stance in front of the twins.

"Dipper, isn't there something in the journal about defeating zombies?!" Mabel exclaims.

Dipper went frantically looking through the journal, "NO! THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE ABOUT WEAKNESSES! This can't be happening. I wanted answers so bad I put everyone in danger. Now we're toast, it's all my fault, and no one can save us!"

"Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it's a plan!" The Doctor replies.

A zombie suddenly grabs the Doctor's arm and struggles with him, in intent to bite him. Mabel screams.

"Ah, NO! DOCTOR, I'M SORRY!" Dipper fearfully screams.

"DOCTOR!"

Dipper screams, the zombie opens it's mouth on the Doctor's arm.

When suddenly—"SMASH!"—it is hit with a baseball bat and drops down dead-missing the Doctor, and its head is crushed by the foot of—

Stan, standing in a heroic stance, panting, his clothes torn and hat gone. "DOC! THOSE TWO! ATTIC! NOW!"

Dipper stammers, "Grunkle... Grunkle Stan?!"

"I said NOW!"

Dipper, Mabel, and Waddles flee with the Doctor, who are not needed to be told twice and the zombies approach.

"All right, you undead jerks, YOU READY TO DIE TWICE?!"

The twins with Waddles and the Doctor run through the living room, Stan following, fighting off zombies.

"The only wrinkly monster who harasses my family is me! Take that! And that!"

"Eat it, no eyes!"

A zombie growls and bites the baseball bat in half, only be punched by Stan's brass-knuckle-wearing fists. "ANYONE ELSE WANNA PIECE?!"

The Doctor turns briefly, "ON YOUR LEFT!" He points his sonic at the incoming zombie-popping its head off.

Stan continues bashing zombies, "THANKS!"

Then backs up the stairs as more enter from the front door. At the top of the stairs he pushes over a grandfather clock with a grunt, sending it tumbling into the horde of zombies.

* * *

"Oh! Ow. Everything hurts."

"There-There-I got you! I got you!" The Doctor stated as he holds Stan by the arm.

He turns and closes the door, barricading it with a chair.

"Grunkle Stan, that was amazing! Are you alright! Heh heh, well, at least you can't deny magic exists anymore, right?"

"Meh, spoilers!" The Doctor answers.

Stan pauses, "Kid, I've always known."

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"I'm not an idiot, Dipper! Of course this town is weird! Ever since I came here, the one thing I know about that weirdness is that it's dangerous!" A zombie's hand breaks through the door. The group backs into the center of the room.

"I've been lying about it to try to keep you away from it. To try to protect you from it!"

A zombie breaks through the window. Stan punches it and watches it fall to the ground, where a crowd of zombies is staring up at the Shack. More start crawling up the outside walls.

"It looks like I didn't lie well enough."

"Don't fret, Stan. NOW! Anything you found Dip, Hm?"

"Well, normally the journal would help us, but there's nothing in there about defeating zombies!"

He pauses by a black light, and it glows on the journal, revealing glowing text. "It's hopeless!"

Mabel suddenly sees it, "Wait, wait, wait! The text! It's glowing in the black light!"

"What?"

He flips through the journal, with Mabel and Grunkle Stan watching. The Doctor tips his fedora. The pages are covered with previously hidden notes. "All this time I thought I knew all the journal's secrets, but they're written in some kind of invisible ink!"

"...Invisible ink? That's how he does it?...

"This is it! "Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by a perfect three part harmony with top-notch sonic frequency" Three part harmony with sonic frequency, how can we create that? I have a naturally high-pitched scream...?"

Stan adds in, "I can make noises with my body? Sometimes intentionally."

Mabel then exclaims, "Boys, boys. I think you're both missing the obvious solution..."

On cue, the Doctor smirks and secretly pulls out his usual electric guitar out from his unusual bag.

* * *

The zombies outside are crowding the Mystery Shack. They wander through the gift shop, when a noise comes from a microphone.

"-ello? Hello? Is this thing on?"

The zombies start walking outside. Soos walks through the living room.

Soos notices TV, "Ooh, Gossiping Housewives is on! Eh, I already sat down."

The zombies gather outside. Dipper, Grunkle Stan, and Mabel are on the roof awning, each holding a microphone. The Doctor plugs in the electric guitar.

"Alright! Hypersonic sound waves! Inspired I used to say. We need to turn this up to eleven!"

"Zombies and gentlemen! I'm Mabel, they're Dipper and Stan, and together we're Love Patrol Alpha!" Mabel stated.

"I never agreed to that name."

"Hit it!"

"Taking Over Midnight" starts playing.

Stan looks at lyrics, "Uh, Mabel, our lives may not be worth this."

The Doctor rolls his eyes, "Oh-come on Stan! Our lives are actually on the risk here!"

"Friday night, and we're gonna party 'til dawn. Don't worry, Daddy, _I've got my favorite dress on_?! Mabel, this is stupid!"

Mabel kept on singing, _"Roll in to the party, the boys are lookin' our way. We just keep dancing', we don't care what they say!"_

Zombies start crawling up the roof. "-And all the boys are gettin' up in my face–Aah! Guys, we have to sing together or it won't work!"

Stan then sings, "Boys are a bore, _let's show 'em the door."_

All three then pitched in together, _"We're takin' over the dance floor! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like!"_

The Doctor strums his instrument loudly. "YEAH!"

A sound wave goes out, causing the zombies to cover their ears. A few of their heads explode.

All four shouts, " _Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight!_ "

They sing to the night as more zombies' heads explode.

 _"We're queens of the disco! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight!"_

 **"Takin' over tooniiiiight!"**

As the Doctor's guitar riff plays, a zombie pops up and Dipper screams.

"DUCK!" Mabel shoots it with confetti cannon.

Its head lands in the punch bowl as the rising sun illuminates the corpses of all the zombies.

Thank you! We'll be here all night!"

"Deal with it, zombie idiots!"

All three chant, "PINES! PINES! PINES! PINES!"

The Doctor grins fondly.

* * *

Stan puts on his fez, given by the Doctor.

Dipper apologizes, "I'm sorry about this, guys. I totally ruined everything."

"Dipper, are you kidding me? I got to sing karaoke with my three favorite people in the world! No party could ever top that."

Stan adds in, "Kids, listen. This town is crazy. So you need to be careful. I don't know what I'd do with myself if you got hurt on my watch. I'll let you hold on to that spooky journal, as long as you promise me you'll only use it for self-defense, and not go looking for trouble. Just follow along with the Doctor, ok?"

"Okay, as long as you promise me that you don't have any other bombshell secrets about this town." Dipper replies.

Stan crosses his fingers behind his back. "Promise."

"Promise." Dipper crosses his fingers behind his back. Unbeknownst to them, the Doctor sees both altogether and sighs deeply.

"Man, we have got a lot of zombie damage to clean up. Where's my handyman anyway?"

Soos pops up, "Brains! Braaains!"

"Holy Moses!" Stan grabs a chair, almost hits Zombie Soos. "Wait!" the Doctor exclaims.

"-There's a page in here about curing zombification. It's gonna take a lot of formaldehyde." Dipper adds in quickly.

"Ooh, and cinnamon!" Mabel chuckles.

"Come on Soos, my dear boy. Let's fix you up." The Doctor stated.

"Brains! Braaains!"

Mabel prodding Soos out of the room, "Soos, cut it out!"

"Heheh, sorry dude!"

"I can't believe it! All this time the author's secrets were hiding in plain sight!" As Dipper pulls out a portable black light and shines it on the journal. "A whole new chapter of mysteries to explore..."

The Doctor fixes his fedora at that statement.

* * *

Agents Powers and Trigger climbs out of a ditch.

"That was insane! I've never seen anything like it! Who do we report to?!"

Powers pulls a zombie head off his jacket and watches it dissolve in his hands.

"This is bigger than we imagined. We need to bring in the big guns. To take on the top-notch man with the red-black coat and blue sweater named "Drostan Hynd" I think, if I read correctly on his given library card..."

He brushes himself off the zombie carnage that was on his suit.

"...and the family he's living with. He might have the answers we need, who knows-he's a mastermind in disguise!"

"But they'll never believe us!"

"Then we'll make them believe us. This is the town we've been searching for."

Toby walks by, swinging for a piñata and making weird noises.

"Aah! Another zombie!"

"Drop your weapon! Drop your weapon!"

Toby lifts his blindfold and looks at the agents.

"Oh, it's just—Who is that guy?—just a very ugly man."

23-5-12-3-15-13-5 2-1-3-11. 23-18-9-20-5-18'19 2-12-15-3-11 8-9-1-20-21-19 1-18-5 1-14-14-15-25-9-14-7. 20-8-5 4-15-3 9-19 4-15-23-14-19-20-1-9-18-19 1-14-4 9-19 22-5-18-25 3-12-5-22-5-18. 3-1-14 19-20-1-14 8-9-4-5 8-9-19 16-12-1-14-19 6-15-18-5-22-5-18?

12-5-1-7-21-5 15-6 5.7: 16-18-15-13-9-14-5-14-20 16-5-15-16-12-5 12-9-11-5 20-8-1-20 19-21-16-5-18-8-5-18-15 7-21-25 9-14 16-21-18-16-12-5, 20-8-5 4-18-1-13-1-20-9-3 "7-8-15-19-20" 15-6 15-16-5-18-1, 19-1-23-25-5-18 1-14-4 8-21-3-11-12-5-2-5-18-18-25, 1-14-4 20-8-1-20 12-1-4-25 9-14 1 13-1-19-17-21-5-18-1-4-5 13-1-19-11.


	22. Chapter 22

_Emazing Pete: Why, thank you! Hopefully I will try my best to make this AU crossover enjoyable ;)_

 _I do not own DW and GF. Enjoy!_

* * *

 ** _Into the Bunker_**

The Doctor was leaning and crouching by the usual police box.

He reflected on recent events...

 _Went across many universes; some that are expanded upon or "crossed-over". Like mixing two favorable things, or anime with most-famous mystery solving lore. Sometimes with comics so you can see what just happens. Or just create one piece of work based on your imaginations. Whereas in Earth Prime-he himself and the multiverse are just works of fiction throughout literature or media. The "Gardner Effect" can co-exist around here, or you can just break the fourth wall._

 _Right here in his own home dimension, he already had adventures with two adventurous children; mishap with gnomes, an old friend's crazy grudge with robots, Autons that are able to melt, a too-much ambitious kid twice, bit of Gelth-like ghosts, Sontarans and Ice Warriors skirmish from a crack of time, paper clones, finding long-lost US president, time-traveling predicament, digital arcade attack, being shrunk, the horrifying Kandyman, Mabel being a boss of the Mystery Shack, a bottomless pit, foiling a Clockwork droid's murderous intent, swapping bodies mishap, ideas of relationships, dinosaurs, zombies, and **him**..._

Knowing Dipper, he knows soon enough that the smart boy will put "two-and-two" together and might realize something.

The Doctor himself, realize that he is also taking another big risk. By helping Stan out, he needed Fiddleford's assistance, so he can help him again after what the poor renowned scientist went through...

 _After calming Fiddleford down, for asking his help with Stan after the events of everyone swapping bodies due to an electric carpet, Old Man McGucket only had one request: his old computer down in a secret bunker, so that he can oversee the readings._

 _The Doctor complied, and replied that certain events are in motion and are inevitable due to that **one-eyed monster**..._

* * *

Workmen are fixing up the nearly destroyed Mystery Shack due to the zombie attack.

"Hey, easy with that, it's genuine plastic! And repave the cracks in the parking lot while you're at it!" as Stan went looking into chasm. "I don't want my car falling into China!"

"Mr. Pines, what exactly caused all this damage? I need to write a report."

"Uhhh, big woodpeckers."

Gift shop sign falls over.

"Keep the change." As he stuffs several bills into the workman's front pocket. "...I'm winking under my eye patch."

"Works for me."

Stan lifts his eye patch, looks around, "Now where'd those kids run off to? Hopefully with Doc...and don't run into that **trouble**..."

* * *

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos are standing around the tree that contained Journal 3.

Dipper taps a pen on his lantern, "Thank you all for coming."

"Hey, when there's a mystery, you can count on your sister...-Ey."

Soos laughs, "That's an amazing rhyme. When you want some, good... When you need a Soos, you... Oh oh, gosh, I don't know."

"We're here to solve the number one mystery in Gravity Falls; who wrote this journal?! Thirty years ago the author vanished without a trace. But according to this new clue."

As he turns on portable black light, "We may have found his secret hiding place."

The black light reveals hidden drawings on the page. "We find that author, we learn the answers to everything. We just need to figure out a way to get down there."

"Chop it down, dudes!" as Wendy arrives on bike, rings bell.

"Wendy!" Mabel exclaims.

"Oh, hey! You came."

"Dude, I'm so stoked about this. I've been wanting to go adventuring with you guys. Sure beats picking up after my dad at home. He wasn't same ever since...Thanks for the invite, man!"

"Of course, anytime you wanna.. I, we're always... Us."

"Uh oh!" Mabel pokes Dipper, "Inviting Wendy on our mission? Me thinks there's romance afoot!"

Dipper replies, "No, look I've thought this through and I'm over Wendy. I've looked at it from every angle, and that thing was going nowhere. I know what matters to me now, and it's finding the author of this journal."

"Hah! YOU'RE over Wendy?! Allow me to put on my "skepticals." As Mabel akes circles around her eyes with her fingers. "Whooop!"

"I've moved on, Mabel. You should too."

"Skepticals..."

The Doctor arrives, replacing his solemn facial features to excitement, "Hullo! Hullo! Found something in the Journal, Dipper?"

"Yep! According to this mysterious author's journal-I might find out where he lives..."

Wendy interrupts, "Hey, is it just me, or does that branch kinda look like a lever?"

"Dear me, it kinda is!" The Doctor comments.

Dipper turns his back on the tree. Wendy uses her belt to start climbing up the tree.

"Huh, yeah. But how do we get up there...? It seems we'd need like a ladder, or like, ladder shoes... Yeah, ladder shoes. I'll get Soos to draw up a prototype."

"Don't need to-already done!" The Doctor points out.

Wendy aat the lever-branch now, pulls an ax out of her belt, swings it around and hits the lever, "Boosh!"

"Whoa ho-ho!"

Mabel gasps, "Wow!"

Wendy explains, "Oh yeah, my dad used to make me compete in these lumberjack games when I was a kid. Guess I kinda ruled at it..."

The Doctor smiles memorably.

The tree begins shaking. Birds fly away.

"Whoa, what is that?!"

"Everyone, hold on!"

At the bottom, the ground and tree sink down, taking Wendy with it. The Doctor pull her out before she falls in. They stand around it as a staircase to the middle of the tree appears, and subsequently a door inside the tree opens.

Dipper exclaims, "Alright guys, this is it. Remember, whatever happens down there, we tell no one!"

Mabel gives thumbs up.

Soos turns hat backwards.

Wendy zips her lips.

The Doctor smiles and puts on his usual sunglasses, "Yes, Yes, we tell no-one..." as the Doctor has an agenda to fill.

Dipper holds up a lantern, "Now, who wants to go first?"

* * *

All walk down the staircase and into a room.

"Whoa!"

"Cool!"

"This is so, stupid cool!"

"That is the one way to put it in words!" The Doctor replied chuckingly.

"It's like a fallout shelter or something. It must've belonged to the author."

"Uh-huh..." The Doctor looks around, seeing if the old danger way back then was gone...

Wendy takes the Fallout Shelter poster off the wall and dusts it off, "This is going over my bed."

Mabel puts face in a barrel and comes out with caterpillars on her face, "Haha! My face feels fuzzy!"

"Oh dear, having likeness with Dr Doolittle-SHOO!" as he carefully swipes them off from Mabel's face.

"This is incredible! It's like he was preparing for a disaster. But what kinda disaster would need supplies for over sixty years?" as Dipper looks up a shelf with dated boxes, the highest labeled 2070.

Soos opens weapons locker, "Oh my gosh! A Smez despenser! I remember these things. What's that, yes I will have some of your old-timey face food."

"Try not to eat it, old as time itself" the Doctor shrugs.

Dipper holding dripping bean can, "Wait guys, I think this can was opened recently..."

The Doctor widens his eyes. "...oh-no..."

"The author might still be alive, down here!"

"Wait a minute..." Wendy then pulls it down a map of Gravity Falls from 1982, revealing an open hatch cover. "

I think I know where he might have gone..." as she eads everyone in crawling through the tunnel. "Whoa!" Everyone goes into a room made of metal cubes.

"Whoa! Oh, man! Was this place built in the past or the future?"

"From the past..." the Doctor remembers fondly. "Everyone! Try not to step onto something. Here, Mabel use these handmade "Google-Glasses". Scan if you see a "big red button", it might work."

"This room is way creepy." Soos stated.

"Not as creepy as Dipper's internet history-HEYO DOC!" Mabel exclaims as she accidentally shoves Dipper in surprise since she sees the Doctor's browser history.

Dipper steps on the square with the design and it depresses, causing the hatch to slam and lock. The symbols on the other wall squares glow red, a buzzer sounds and the room starts to shake. Some squares start to poke into the room.

"Wh-Oops! Wrong call! Quick-here!" as the Doctor motions for the glasses to be returned.

"What's goin' on, dude?"

All pressing up against wall, beginning to panic, except for the Doctor who looks for certain symbols all around them...

"Haha, it's hard to be scared with caterpillars on your face. Wall things! Crazy wall things happening right now!"

Wendy tries to push the blocks back in, "It won't stop!"

"Dipper! What do we do?!"

Dipper flips frantically through the journal and stops at a page labeled "Security Room." He shines the blacklight on it.

"Oh, come on!"

The Doctor quickly points to a page with symbols on it. "Find these four symbols! Quick! Everybody step on one!"

"One!" Soos pushes symbol.

"Two!" Wendy punches symbol.

"Three!" Wendy jumps over and slaps the symbol.

"Dipper now!" The Doctor called out.

"Four!" as Dipper climbs up blocks and taps symbol; a door opens on the other side of the room. "Nicely Done Everyone!" The Doctor calls out.

"Run for it!"

All run out; Dipper's vest get caught in the block, he slips out. The Doctor follows along and rescues his vest which a piece of paper fell out.

"Yes! Yes! That was, huh, that was nuts! You ruled back there, man!" Wendy exclaimed to Dipper.

"Haha, thanks."

Wendy points out, "Get a load of this crazy Surveillance Room."

The Doctor looks up.

"Check it out dudes!" as Soos makes faces with beakers in front.

"Soos, Soos... That is hilarious."

"Hey bro, you dropped something..." Mabel picks up the piece of paper, "What the..? "Dear Wendy, I've always had a crush on-OHMYGOSH! Hey. Dipper! Look what I found..."

Dipper gasps, "What did you...? Give me that!"

"I know it! I know it! I know it! You're not over Wendy at all! And you were gonna tell her today?"

"No, I changed my mind; it's a bad idea. I'd embarrass myself and then I'd be another guy she hates, like Robbie."

"Dipper, you should just tell her already. One way or another, you'll feel better afterwards."

"Look, Mabel, I can't tell her no matter how much I want to, so just drop it OK?"

"Dude! Dipper, you gotta check out this weird metal closet. I am a robot, I have a metal closet." Wendy calls out. The Doctor chuckles as he is searching for something...

"Coming! This never happened..."

" _He wants to tell her but he's scared; maybe he needs a little push. Good idea, Mabel. Thanks, Mabel!_ "

Mabel runs and hugs Dipper, "Brother, whatever happens I just you need to know something: this is for your own good."

"What?"

Mabel shoves him into the closet with Wendy and shuts it. The Doctor looks up.

"What the-? Dipper looks at Wendy, gasps and pounds on the door. "MABEL! Let us out! DOC Help!"

"Oh, we'll let you out Dipper, as soon as you tell Wendy that thing you've been wanting to tell her! You'll thank me for this later!"

"What is she talking about?"

"Nothing! Mabel's just been eating raw sugar packets again."

Mabel eating raw sugar packets out of nowhere, "Om nom... That's besides the point!"

"Let me out RIGHT NOW!" Dipper pounds on the door.

"Uh! Where are the lights?" As Wendy pulls a cord.

Dipper and Wendy suddenly scream, "AHHH!"

"Dipper! Wendy!" The Doctor quickly runs to the locked closet, realizing it was another hidden passageway...and apparently the entrance is made of wood and deadlocked.

* * *

Water gushes down, followed by a blast of hot air that pushes them together. A red light flashes and a tone sounds. A sign reading "Decontamination Complete" flashes and doors open on a wrecked underground room.

"Whoa! A hidden lab! Maybe the author did experiments down here."

"Huh. What do you think dug all these tunnels?"

"Lets hope we don't find out." Suddenly hears a growling sound, screams and runs as a dark figure approaches. "Mabel, open up, for real! There's a monster in here!"

"Ha ha, nice try! The only monsters are your own inner demons, Dipper!"

"True but this so unwise!" As the Doctor tries to budge the door open, twice with his sonic. "GUYS! Hold on!"

"That is so wise."

"Dipper, just say whatever Mabel wants you to say, so she'll let us out of here!"

"Come on Dipper! Now's the time, bro!"

"Wendy, I— I— I'm gonna find another way out!"

"Wait, what? Dude, where are we going? What do we do?"

"I don't know!"

The Doctor calls out, "GUYS?!"

Suddenly, the Doctor hears a voice that made him stand very still.

 ** _"Back, back you heinous beast! Well, I just ripped out a monster's tongue..._**

* * *

Meanwhile, Mabel and Soos were exploring the other room.

"Sure are taking their time in there..." as Soos slips on lab coat, and picks up laptop. "Hey, do I look smarter with this coat and brief case? I feel like I look smarter..."

Mabel gasps, "Razzle dazzle! Look at this tube-y thing! Frozen! Unfrozen! Frozen! Unfrozen! What's this? Experiment number 210: "the Shape-Shifter"!"

"The shape shifter? Uh, dude? Didn't Dipper say there was a monster in there with them?"

Mabel gasps, "I thought he was just joking!"

The Doctor calls out to the others while still trying to open the door to the closet, "YOU KNOW DIPPER'S JOKES ARE TERRIBLE!"

"DIPPER!"

* * *

After finally busting through the door, the Doctor with Mabel and Soos are running in to the other room, both are panting.

"Wendy?! Oh, it's so dark! How will we ever find them?"

"Leave that to Mabel! Boop!" as she presses light bulb on sweater. "Nice!" The Doctor comments.

"Whoa, rad! Although, isn't electric clothing kinda like a fire hazard?"

"No. It's a fun hazard. Now let me light the way!" as she runs off with Soos following behind. The Doctor raises his brows to that statement, "...sometimes."

"We're coming for you dudes!"

Dipper and Wendy suddenly crash into Soos and Mabel with the Doctor trailing behind.

All greet each other excitedly.

"Wait! How do we know they're not the monster?"

"Maybe I am! Mabel, inspect my shape!"

Mabel pokes Soos' stomach, "Poke!"

Soos laughs, "Do that again!"

Mabel pokes Soos' stomach again. "Poke!"

Soos laughs once more. "Even better the second time!"

"Whatever you had encountered, it couldn't take forms all three at once!" The Doctor stated.

Dipper nods and turns to Wendy, "Oh my gosh, Wendy, you're bleeding!"

"It's cool, it's cool. It's just blood man; don't freak out."

"What happened?"

"We got attacked by a "shape-shifter"."

As she went taking off her shirt, and rips off a sleeve to cover the injury, looking even more determined, "He broke out of his cage, pretended to be the author, and wants Dipper's journal."

"Imagine if he escapes to the town! He can transform into anything! We could never trust anyone ever again!"

"What do we do?!"

"Well, he took us into his home, tricked us, and tried to destroy us. I say we return the favor!"

The Doctor then looks at Wendy, "...And I believe I have a plan!"

* * *

Meanwhile, the shape-shifter returns to its human form that once tricked Dipper and Wendy.

 ** _"Dipper, my boy! Come out! I must speak with you!"_**

It then turns into a familiar pink-reddish creature with puffy holes all over, "REVEAL YOURSELF, YOU SINGLE-FORMED HUMAN WEAKLING!"

Mabel enters the room with Dipper, "Oh boy, Dipper. That book sure is full of some great monsters!"

"There you are! Ooh, and a new one!" as it turns into Mabel. "Should I be one..." as it turns into Dipper.

...or the other? How about both!?" It turns into a six-legged creature. The top half resembles Dipper while the bottom half resembles Mabel. Both halves have a large mouth with many sharp teeth and roars.

Dipper and Mabel both scream and run away as the alien monster chases them. They enter a room with Wendy and Soos holding onto the valve of a pipe.

"Guys, he's coming! He's coming! NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW!"

Wendy and Soos start turning the valve.

"It's not working, dude!"

It catches up to them and tries to grab Dipper's journal with its tongue.

"HEY, LET GO!"

Wendy helps Dipper. "You leave him alone!"

Wendy is pulled away with the journal. Dipper is left behind.

"Wendy!"

Wendy jumps on the monstrous alien and prepares to attack it with her own ax. Soos successfully turns the valve and a strong stream of water bursts from the pipe. Wendy and alien are knocked back by the water. Dipper, Mabel and Soos get caught in the flow as well. Wendy hits a rock under the water, then the water subsides.

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos all gasp for air.

The water drains out.

Dipper picks up Wendy's ax, and finds her. "WENDY! Wendy! No, no, no-no-no! Can you hear me? Oh, please be okay, please be okay! Oh no, oh no! This is all my fault! If I had told you when we were in the closet we wouldn't be in this mess. But I was too scared and now you could be hurt or worse, and I never even got to tell you I'm, like—In love with you, Wendy!"

But the real Wendy is standing behind Dipper, "Uh, Dipper?"

"Huh—wha—Wendy?! W-wait, then who's...?"

The puffy alien monster gets up and growls.

"LOOK OUT!"

It attacks Wendy, in Wendy's voice, "Give me back that journal!"

"Never!"

It pushes her over and lands on her.

"Get off me!" as she kicks it off of her.

The two "Wendys" fight while Dipper watches. It is unclear which is the shape shifter. Dipper picks up the ax and approaches them.

"Give it back; it belongs to Dipper! Hit her with the ax!"

"Don't listen to her, Dipper!"

"She's the shape shifter!"

Dipper panics, "Uh, uh, I don't know who's who! Give me a sign!"

The fake one smiles and winks.

Wendy zips her lips.

Dipper stabs the shape shifter with the ax.

The monster roars and returns to its true form: a Zygon.

The tube that Mabel froze and unfroze earlier flashes "READY." The alien rips the ax out of its body.

"HEY!"

The wounded Zygon looks up, sees a familiar face. "Sorry about this " _Shifty_ "!" as the Doctor gives a solid thwack which pushes the surprised foe into the tube.

The door closes and the tube begins freezing the supposed shape-shifter. Mabel has pressed the button to activate the tube.

"Frozen!" She and Soos fist-bump. "Boop!"

"Boosh!"

" ** _No_**!" as it took many forms at once in panic. " ** _Let me ouuuut!"_**

It returns to its true form and roars. It begins to freeze.

Mabel and Soos are now in the same room as Wendy, Dipper, and the Doctor who looks solemn.

"Let's get out of here, dudes..." Soos stated.

The Zygon laughs evilly. "... _ **Doctor**_..."

Dipper, Mabel, Wendy and Soos all gasp, while looking back to the monster and the Doctor. Realizing the monster is still active, though they can't hear the muffled conversation with the Doctor who puts his hands in his pockets.

"You think you're so clever don't you, Doctor?!" It spat. "I escaped your war, landed here with **_them,_** and your so-called peace!"

"But you have no idea what you're up against now! You will never find your old friend again! If your **_pawns_ **keep digging, they meet a fate worse than you can imagine. Your Time Ends SOON! And this will be the last form you ever take!"

As it turns into the Doctor and screams while being frozen, while everyone else looks on in horror. The Doctor furrows his brows more together while staring at it.

"Good luck sleeping tonight, sir!" Soos chuckles, elbowing the Doctor.

"Meh, just don't call me that..."

* * *

The tree returns to it's default position.

"Dude, I think I'm kind of adventured out for a little while. My face hurts from doing this all day."

Mabel laughs nervously while looking at the Doctor, "Yeah, but you gotta admit we're all total heroes."

"Hey, who wants to get some heroes' breakfast, huh?"

"Syrup on cereal!"

"Mabel, you're a visionary!"

"Look, Wendy, about earlier. In the heat of the moment, I might have said some dumb things, and can't we pretend none of that ever happened? Please?"

"Dude, dude. It's okay. I always kinda knew."

The Doctor chuckles nearby. _I already knew that Ms. Corduroy..._

"Wait, you did?"

Wendy laughs, "Yeah man, you think I can't hear that stuff you're constantly whispering under your breath?"

Dipper groans, "Oh man!"

"Listen Dipper, I'm like, super flattered, but... I'm too old for you. I mean, you know that, right?"

 _You can spend your time with me, but I can't spend time with you...it's a curse..._

"Mabel said confessing would make me feel better."

"Well, how do you feel?"

"Anxious. Scared. Kinda itchy."

"Dude, don't be itchy man. Let me tell you something. This summer was super boring until you showed up. I have more fun with you than practically anybody else. And if you ever stopped being my friend, ... I would, like, throw myself into the Bottomless Pit!"

"So things won't be too, awkward, now?"

"I just wrestled myself, dude. That was awkward. If you can handle that monster, you can handle a little awkwardness."

"Friends?"

"Yeah, dude! Friends!" as she shoves him backwards off the log. The Doctor smiles.

Both laugh, then Wendy pulls him back onto the log.

"Oh, and hey Dipper? See you for movie night tomorrow. Your place this time, okay?" as she bikes away.

Mabel pops out of bushes, "Sooo? How did it go?"

"Wha—what did you hear?"

"Everything! All the time!"

"I'M NOT HERE!" Soos calls.

"Mabel, how can everything be so amazing and so terrible all at the same time?" The Doctor rolls his eyes fondly.

"I'm so sorry for being so pushy Dipper. If it's any consolation, I'm already working on your list of potential rebound crushes."

"Thanks Mabel. Whoa!"

Soos sits down at other end of log. "I'm still bummed we're no closer to finding the author guy. At least I got his science-y coat and briefcase." as he holds up a laptop, which flops open. "Whoa! What the?"

"Soos, that's not a briefcase, it's a laptop!"

The Doctor lifts his fedora.

"And a really busted up one too."

"I bet I could get this thing fixed up in a few days. It's gonna take a lotta duct tape."

"This could be our next clue!"

A label reads "Property of F": MO52584.

 _"Soos might help out well...to repair it good and new for a while, before I give it back..."_ The Doctor said to himself silently.

* * *

Dipper and Wendy are watching a movie on TV.

"Is it just me or does Gravity Falls TV only have the worst movies?"

 _"You're watching the Gravity Falls Bargain Movie Showcase. Coming up next, The Widdlest Wampire, The Planet People of Planet Planet!, Help! My Mummy's a Werewolf!, Attack of the Exclamation Points!, The Man with no Taste, Ghost Turtle, Help! My Mummy's a Werewolf! 2: This Again!"_

"You want to never watch this channel again?"

2-9-14-1-18-25: 16-21-20 1-12-12 19-9-24 16-9-5-3-5-19 20-15-7-5-20-8-5-18! 20-8-5 1-21-20-8-15-18: 9-3-5 9-3-5 2-1-2-25, 1-13 9 13-5? 9-19 8-5 13-5? 23-8-1-20 11-9-14-4 15-6 4-9-19-1-19-20-5-18 9-14-4-5-5-4 9-13-16-18-15-16-5-18 21-19-5 15-6 13-1-3-8-9-14-5-18-25 3-15-21-12-4 12-5-1-4 20-15 21-20-20-5-18 3-1-20-1-19-20-18-15-16-8-5. 20-8-5 18-15-7-21-5 3-18-9-13-9-14-1-12 26-25-7-15-14 15-14-3-5 11-14-5-23 19-20-1-14, 20-8-5 4-15-3-20-15-18, 6, 1-14-4 20-8-5 1-21-20-8-15-18.


	23. Chapter 23

_**The Golf War**_

Dipper Pines and Waddles are sitting on the couch watching television and eating cereal.

The Doctor is on the table sipping tea with avid thoughts of not-so-long-ago "adventures" with the Pines Family: _adopting a candy monster, Dipper's unwittingly attempts to get both Doc and Stan to reveal the past, the so-called "ominous mailbox", twins' experiences with dealing accidental secrets, a giant monster in the lake, some things from the past in the woods, advice on dating, fun with stickers, fashion, blinding Stan with color-that took awhile to help him, artistic stuff with felines, fixing stuff with Soos-twice, rescuing Wendy from "trouble", busting in to watch movies, and_ _freed a mutant cow._

The Doctor sighs. He wonders.

 _How much time must pass before Stan reveals the secret, or will the **one-eyed fiend** take an advantage one of them?...Did Soos fix the computer nice and neat yet?_

Stan enters with a pan with a pancake, "Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in 'em."

"Pass!" Dipper exclaims.

Mabel bursts through the door giddily with a newspaper in hand, "It's here!"

The Doctor chuckles, "Whoa! Mabel! Settle in for awhile, what's here?" He jovially adds.

"Aaah! Oh, it's here! It's here, it's here! I've been waiting all morning and it's finally here! The Gravity Falls Gossiper accepted my article about summer fashion tips for squirrels. My picture is gonna be in the newspaper! Check it!"

The Doctor questioningly reads, "Ms. Northwest declares v-neck the look of the season?" as he quirks an eyebrow familiarly.

"Woah, woah, WHAT?!" as Mabel looks at the newspaper.

The newspaper reads "GREATEST THING OF THE SUMMER!", and shows a portrait of Pacifica Northwest, with the caption "PACIFICA NORTHWEST."

Dipper looks at the newspaper, "Looks like someone bought their way to the front page."

Stan funnily asks at the newspaper, "Is it legal for a child to wear that much make-up?"

Mabel groans, "Ugh, Pacifica! She always ruins everything!"

"Aw, cheer up Mabel! I mean, no one even reads newspapers anymore." Dipper adding in as he tries to help.

Soos walks in. "Dudes! V-neck season is upon us! Who wants to help me get ahead of the fashion curve? I'm taking it one step further." As he holds up a pair of scissors and a marker. "With a w-neck!"

Soos draws a construction line for a "w" and cuts along the lines, "Must... follow... newspaper..."

Mabel glumly runs over to the nearby table and furiously pours herself a glass of orange juice, which she gulps down. "Aack! I need something to get my mind off this."

The Doctor scratches his head-then remembers something about this town...

* * *

" _Looking for a distraction from your horrible life_?" The Doctor asks pouting Mabel.

"Why yes!"

The Doctor then somewhat struts upon the table, " _Victory, honor, destiny, **mutton**! These old-timey sounding words are alive and well at the "Gravity Falls Royal Discount Putt Hutt" with an exclamation point! Although there are no mutton available at the snack shop_!" He then waved his fedora.

As he flays his arms at amazed Mabel, he accidentally dropped his note cards; with a statement saying he got it from the TV earlier.

Dipper then brightens, "Hey, Mabel! You love mini-golf!" As he pulls out Mabel's scrapbook with a picture of Mabel winning a trophy at a minor league gold competition with the caption "AGE 9".

"You been amazing at it since we were kids! Doc taught you with a blindfold on! What do you say, Mabel? We've had a stressful couple of days. How 'bout we take a break, huh?"

Stan adds in, "Would kicking all our butts at mini-golf cheer you up?"

"Maybe a little."

"Come on, like Doc says Mabel! Victory!"

"Honor!"

"Destiny!" Raising up one of his surviving golf clubs that was almost eaten by the mini-candy monster.

"Mutton!" With Soos' W-neck flaps down.

Dipper, Mabel, Stan and Soos went chanting, "Victory, honor, destiny, mutton! Victory, honor, destiny, mutton!"

The Doctor beamed, "That's what I am talking about!"

"And the pig can look after the house!" Soos adds. The Doctor winks at Waddles, who waves in confirmation.

The door shuts; Waddles is on the couch.

Waddles oinks happily.

* * *

Soon, the Pines family are at the Ye Royal Discount Putt Hutt. Doctor, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, and Soos walk in.

"Woohoo!"

"Woah!"

"Wow!"

"Woah!"

Mabel exclaims, "Ahh, mini-golf! The sport of mini champions!"

Dipper comments, "The grass is fake, but the fun is real! There's something here for everyone!"

Robbie somewhat is there, spray painting the word "Weiners" on a wall and laughs.

"Hey, you! Stop!"

Robbie runs away screaming..

"Come back here!" As the "Mattress King" powers on his golf cart and attempts to chase Robbie. "Hey, those are lewd hand gestures!"

Soon, the Doctor, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, and Soos at a hole.

Dipper is preparing to hit a ball. "Focus! Focus!.. And, eh..." Swings his club and misses the golf ball, which rolls into the nearby pond.

"The trick is, not playing too hard-just let go of the stressful emotions!" The Doctor advises.

"Don't worry, bro! You're still," Mabel laps a dinosaur sticker on his cheek. "Eh! "Ext-roar-dinary"!"

Dipper grins, "I'll take what I can get."

Mabel stands in front of a golf ball. "Do the hip wiggle, and eh!" As she hits the ball with her club, which touches Old Man McGucket's nose and goes into the hole.

"Wha? How'd I get here?"

"Sorry Fidds! Otherwise, NICE!" The Doctor compliments.

"Yes!"

"Holy smokes! Someone in our family actually has talent!" exclaimed Stan.

"Grunkle Stan, you ain't seen nothing yet!" Dipper puts in.

* * *

Mabel went hitting her ball into various holes. Stan gives Mabel a thumbs up. Dipper and the Doctor with Soos gives Mabel series of high-fives

 _"She's so good, yeah! Look at her hit that ball! She's got lot of skills! Take that ball into that hole!"_

The Doctor meanwhile entertains the crowd in many various ways. One of which many opponents' balls were in a triangle formation. The Doctor causally unscrews his own golf club (that came out of his screwdriver) of its head and plays in a "pool-style". This eventually made his own given ball being hit and dive through-finishing to go in a hole first and making other balls roll in soon.

Soon enough, the Pines are at a flag reading "18". A crowd forms around Dipper, Stan, Doctor and Soos.

"Guys, this is amazing! If Mabel or Doc gets a hole in one here, they'll beat all-time high scores!"

"You can do it, Mabel! Pretend the ball is Pacifica's face! Eh!" as she hits the golf ball with her club, and she nearly scores a hole, but misses and rolls into a puddle.

"Aw, nuts!" as she throws down her club. The Doctor shrugs.

Crowd mutters, "Aw, man! Well that didn't work! Oh yes, she's all done playing!"

"Ah, don't worry about it kid! The thing's random!"

"Yeah, besides the Bermuda triangle, how mini-golf works is our world's greatest mystery."

"As far as I'm concerned, you're still better than anyone else in Gravity..."

Pacifica suddenly appears and hits the ball near to on the eighteenth hole.

Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Stan gasp, "Woah!"

Pacifica smirks, "Oh, would you look at that? I didn't know it was "hobos golf-free" day!"

"Pacifica!"

"Well, if it isn't the Pines family! Fat, old, lame, braces, and above all-!"

She motions to the Doctor who is about to hit the ball in. "A Pastry Berry clown-with a scarecrow-like dandy's fancy pants-with ugly teeth and curls-devilishly- **old** -" _boring professor"_ -bouncy-"

"Soos, would it be wrong to punch a child?" He whispers furiously with Soos, not bothered of himself being mocked at, but for insulting his family and his friend.

"-grumpy! Nosily with sandshoes! Chinny with the Eyebrows!" Finishing as she tries to distract the Doctor.

"What a mouthful miss!" The Doctor grins happily at Pacifica, as he scores a hole in one-without touching Pacifica's ball.

"Oy though!" The Doctor stated up in the air, confusing everyone. "My chin is not that BIG!" As he rubs it funnily.

"Well...insults can't buy you skill! You walked into the game of a mini-golf champion!"

"Ha!" As Pacifica snaps her fingers. "Sergei! This is Sergei, my trainer!"

"The Sportylmpics had mini-golf once. I took gold!"

"So if you don't mind moving out of the way of the professionals! Hmpf..." As she walks over to a "bonus hole". "Hmm... hmm..." She then strikes a golf ball with her club, scores a bonus hole and causes an explosion. "Enjoy SECOND place. Give her a hand, folks!" As she mocks Mabel. The Doctor meanwhile causally scores in the bonus hole.

"I rode motorbikes in the Anti-Grav Olympics, 2074. I came last." The Doctor offhandedly comments.

Mabel replies angrily, "Oh, yeah Pacflica? Well... I want a rematch, you... you WALKING ONE-DIMENSIONAL BLEACHED BLONDE VALLEY GIRL STEREOTYPE!"

Crowd gasps.

Pacifica pouts, "Like, let's do this!"

The sky clouds over as they stand face to face.

Mattress King then interrupts, "Hear ye! Hear ye! Honk honk!" As the buffoon dives into a lamp post. "Ow!" He rams post several times, then backs up and turns. "Stop at once! The park is now closed due to weather! The King of Mini-golf has spoke-Ahh! The king is down!"

Pacifica growls, "This isn't over. You, me, midnight. We'll see who's best!"

Mabel retorted, "I'll be here!"

Lightning flashes and rain starts. The Northwests whip out their umbrellas and walk away. Sergei runs behind them.

"-Puh! Puh! Hair in my mouth. Puh!" Mabel suddenly exclaimed. The Doctor then draws his umbrella out of his screwdriver and opens it, holding for the graceful Pines family.

* * *

Soon they are at the Hermanos Brothers Diner. Gloomy music plays.

"Ah!" Mabel opens her mouth. Dipper feeds her a chip. Does this bunch of time.

Mabel sighs, "Time to scratch mini-golf off my talents list."

"Aw, don't give up, Mabel."

"Yeah! If you beat her at this, she can never rag on you again. Imagine it!"

Mabel imagines herself and Pacifica in a clothing store.

 _"Um, the section for ugly grandma clothes is over there."_

 _"Oh yeah? Well the section for people who lost at mini-golf is OVER THERE!" Points to the exit sign; Xyler and Craz burst through the door in paramedic clothes._

 _"We came as fast as we could!"_

 _"We heard a little girl got seriously burned!"_

 _Xyler and Craz exclaim, "OHHHH!"_

 _"I'm ruined!"_

 _"Up top! Xyler high-fives Mabel and they freeze-frame._ Cut back to the diner.

Mabel stands on table. "You're right, guys. I just need to practice a little more before midnight!"

Stan comments, "Go to the golf course after dark, you say? I don't know, we'd have to break in and- Just kidding let's break in!"

The Doctor quirks his eyebrows.

* * *

Stan's car driving through the golf course's toll. Soos with the Doctor keeps watch while Stan pulls nails out of the fence. He removes a panel. Mabel hands him her sticker book and she and Dipper go through the hole.

"Oh, and hey, Mabel?" Sticks a "U DA BEST" sticker on Mabel's sweater. "Knock her dead, kid."

Mabel gives a thumbs-up and goes inside. At the windmill, she is practicing, hitting a golf ball, which goes into the window, and comes to rest beside dozens of others, not in the hole.

The Doctor approaches the twins to look after them while Soos and Stan went away.

"Darn! Poop heck darn!"

"Ugh, I don't get it! What is wrong with this hole?"

Dipper hears clanking inside the mill, backs away and gasps. "Did you hear that?"

"What? What is it?"

"Grab your club. Doc?"

The Doctor realizes something, and clicks his screwdriver.

The Doctor with the twins open a mysterious mini-golf course's treadmill in front of a Ferris Wheel...

The twins raise their clubs and advance towards the windmill. They nod, and Dipper pulls away the back panel. The Doctor readies his screwdriver.

The Lilliputtians, the mini-sized people, are merrily moving golf balls along their Dutch-themed landscape when they notice the twins and the Doctor and gasp.

Everyone screamed in surprise.

"Whoa! Whoa! Folks we mean no harm! Say, how's the living space here?" The Doctor questions.

Dipper and Mabel share a look and lower their clubs. "Hm, smaller than the Adipose!" The Doctor exclaims.

"We good? We good? All right then! Hi, hello. I'm Franz, and welcome to our home!"

Dipper asks, "What is this?"

Mabel adds in, "Yeah! Are you guys tiny humans, or enormous mini-humans?"

Franz laughs, "Neither. We're Lilliputtians! Lilli- Lilliputt... the name makes more sense written down than spoken. And we control the balls! Behold!"

The side of the windmill opens, revealing a complex Rube Goldberg-ian convey system, with Lilliputtians turning cranks, pulling levers, and pushing turnstiles. A golf ball rolls out of the windmill into the hole.

"That's incredible!"

"And so needlessly complicated!"

"Aw shucks. It's only our life-long passion. Would you like us to elaborate through song?" Franz asks.

The Lilliputtians gather and prepare to sing.

"Eh, we're good." The Doctor comments.

The Lilliputtians groan in disappointment and disperse.

Franz asks, "So what are you hugelings doing here anyway?"

Mabel answers, "We kind of have to play this golf tournament against my rival, Pacifica."

The Lilliputtians gasp and mutter.

"Oh, we know all about rivals." Franz grumbles.

Lilliputtian pirate captain suddenly announces his presence, "Put a clog in it, ya windmill-lubbers!"

The pirate ship course lights up. The Pirate Lilliputtians are looking over the deck. "These frilly bottom popinjays are terrible at controllin' the balls! We are the ball masters, says I! Argh!"

Pirate Lilliputtians shout out together, "Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh!"

Lead French Lilliputtian then deadpans, "Shut your mouths, you show-boating pirates!"

The Eiffel Tower course lights up. "Everyone knows ze Eiffel Tower hole is ze best!"

French Lilliputtian states, "Je ne sais quoi. Sacre bleu. Au revoir!"

"You don't actually know French?" The Doctor questions.

Lilliputtian head knight then shouts aloud from the castle course, "Stay you comments, ye churlish Frenchmen!" As he removes his helmet and shakes his hair. "None control the balls better than the knights of—" Notices Robbie's graffiti. "Wiener Castle? Who wrote this?!"

"We'll settle which hole is best! Attack!" Franz with his friends armed themselves with golf pencils, the Dutchmen charge.

Lilliputtian pirate captain sarcastically shouted, "Ooh, I'm shiverin' in me timbers! Get them!" The Pirates swing off of the ship and run towards the others.

Lilliputtian head knight announced, "Long live the mini king!"

The Lilliputtians collide and start fighting in front of the twins.

"Die, medieval scum-Ow!"

The Head Pirate swings at a Frenchman and falls into the lake. A duck picks up a Dutchman and swallows him.

Dipper laughs, "These guys are a riot!"

Mabel laughing, "Guys, guys, calm down! Your fighting is inadvertently adorable!"

The Doctor shrugs pacifically on this matter.

"Adorable we are, hugeling, but our tale less so. Every hole in the park thinks they're superior, from the cowboys in the east to the grimy miners of the south. If only there was some way to decide which side is best, with... maybe... an award, or, like a trophy, I dunno."

A French Lilliputtian then points, "But Franz, look!" As he points to Mabel's given sticker.

"The sticker. The sticker could decide!"

"It does say "Ze best" on it!"

Lilliputtian head knight announced, "Decide for us, hugeling! Choose which mini-kingdom to give a sticker to, and end our war!"

The Lilliputtians cheer.

"Uh, I don't know, guys. I'm not sure I wanna get involved in your weird mini-blood feud."

The Doctor narrows his eyebrows in thought, "Same..."

"Pst! Mabel! This is perfect! These guys control the course! Just tell them you'll give the sticker to whichever group does a better job of helping us win!"

"I'm not sure, Dipper. I wanna beat Pacifica, but doesn't this seem like... cheating?"

"Pacifica's rich, Mabel. She's cheating at life."

"Hmm..."

Dipper then blows on a tiny trumpet, "Thanks, man." Then returns it to a knight.

Mabel went standing on the castle. "People of the eighteen holes! We're going to have a game of mini-golf! And whoever does the best job helping me win, gets the sticker!"

Lilliputtian pirate captain announced, "It'll be us, lass. Not these tulip-munchers!"

"I will not be insulted by a man with no depth perception wearing earrings!"

Mabel added, "Just remember, as long as you're helping me, no fighting!"

The Lilliputtians look at each other and smile.

* * *

Meanwhile Soos and Stan are in the car.

"Dude, I'm cuttin' Ws into all my shirts. Gotta give the public what they want."

"Well, those kids are taking their time. Looks like it's gonna be a while." As Stan turns on the radio. Soos takes off his shirt to work on the neck. Stan leans back in his seat and sighs. He closes his eyes, then looks over at Soos, who, still shirtless, has reclined next to him.

"Sure are a lot of stars out tonight..."

Stan quickly sits up. "Well, this is gettin' weird."

* * *

Soon the Northwest car pulls up. "-But now remember, Pacifica, winning is everything!"

"Oh, oh, and also looks. Winning and looks!"

Pacifica groans, "Dad, I've been practicing for, like, a million hours, okay? I've got this. You'll stay and watch, right?"

"Pacifica, darling, we have a party to go to. We'll just read about your victory in the paper."

Pacifica gets out of car. "Sergei!"

Sergei climbs out of the trunk and gets the luggage.

"Oh, and whatever happens, just remember one thing. You're a Northwest. Don't lose." As her father slams the door on her face and the car drives away.

Pacifica huffs and goes with her helper. "How much you wanna bet they're no-shows?"

A succession of lights flashes on thanks to the Doctor, revealing Mabel and Dipper.

"Looking for someone?"

"Waiting in the dark, not creepy at all. Seriously though, I don't know why you bothered to come. Unless you've got something up your sleeve."

"Oh, I guess you could say we've got a little something, right, right?"

A Lilliputtian pops out of her sleeve, winking at her. She shoves it back in, and she and Dipper laugh nervously.

Sergei announced, "Eighteen holes. Standard rules. Winner lives in glory, loser wallows in eternal shame. On your mark, get set, mini-golf!"

At the cowboy hole. Pacifica putts; the Lilliputtians block her ball with a covered wagon.

Mabel putts, and the cowboys raise the grass to move her ball towards the hole. A cowboy shoots the ball, and it goes in.

Mabel gives a thumbs-up, and the cowboys return the gesture before turning to mock the pirates.

At the pirate hole. Mabel putts, and the pirates shoot her ball out of a cannon into the hole.

"Out of my way!" Pacifica putts. Her ball shoots out the front and lands in her mouth. "Are you serious?!"

The pirates cheer, open a can of root beer, and raise their flag. At the miner hole. Mabel putts, and the ball goes down into the mine.

"Ha, ha! Miner hole. I wonder what cute, silly things are going on down there."

The ball rolls down a chute and two miners prepare to cart it into the mine.

Prospector Lilliputtian shouted, "Stop! You can't go in there! There's been a gas leak! Anyone who goes in there will DIE!"

The miners look scared, then part as Big Henry approaches.

"I'll take it."

Polly, his supposed daughter shouts, "Noooo!" As she runs up to Big Henry. "Don't go, Big Henry! We need you!"

"Go home, Polly. I got this."

Big Henry pushes the cart into the mine, leaving the others staring after him.

Sweating and breathing heavily, he trudges on through the seeping gas.

Meanwhile, Mabel and Pacifica are waiting silently for the ball to reemerge. Pacifica checks her watch. Back in the mine. Big Henry slaps himself.

"Come on, Big Henry. You can do this."

Reaches the end of the track and, struggling, pushes the button to send up the ball. He collapses beside the track, gasping, and pulls out a picture of him and Polly. His eyes fill with tears, smiles, and with a groan he stops moving.

Suddenly, a giant hand crumbles through the ground...

"Say, my readings found a gas leak here, hopefully it wouldn't harm the kids-hm?"

The Doctor sees Big Henry's limp body. "As a parent myself-I know how it feels like..."

He quickly brings his unconscious body to the others, and used ginger beer and salts with protein contained food to revive him...

* * *

The ball rolls out of the mine and into the hole.

"What?!" Pacifica then throws her club, which Sergei catches. "Sergei! Soda! Now!"

Mabel lifts the lid of the mine hole. "Okay, guys? That was bedonkulous!"

"Hey, little hi-fives everyone, little hi-fives all around." High-fives the miners with his finger. "Nice one... You did it... You're the man."

"I don't wanna call it out early, but I think the miners might have one of these in their future!" As she points to the sticker. The miners cheer with very much alive Big Henry.

Franz meanwhile went looking at them through a telescope from the windmill. "Are you kidding me?! After everything we've worked for?"

"Calm yourself, Franz. There may be another way to win the hugeling's favor. Knock on wood." They knock on their clogs.

Sergei gets a Pitt cola from the vending machine.

"There's something going on, Sergei. I can feel it."

"Maybe they have little people who control where the balls go."

"Hoo, we gotta get you English lessons. I mean, think about it. I'm globally ranked. It's ridiculous that she's beating me."

A tiny figure darts behind a bush. Pacifica drinks the soda and spits out the pit. "Ugh, Pitt Cola! I always forget about the pit. Get me a different one, Sergei!"

A tiny hand taps her shoulder. She is grabbed and dragged into the bush.

Sergei sees this, "This is bad."

Meanwhile, Dipper and Mabel are tallying the scores. The Doctor brings out five boxes.

"I can't wait to see the look on Pacifica's face when we win. I'm thinking it'll be like "ugh." You know how she does that? "Ugh."

"Dipper, is it bad that I feel good about her feeling bad?"

Dipper replies nonchalantly, "Ah, just enjoy your victory, Mabel. Trust me, Pacifica will be fine."

Pacifica screams. The Doctor quickly looks up. She is tied in front of the windmill by the Dutch Lilliputtians. "What's going on here? Let me go!"

Dipper and Mabel scream in surprise. The Lilliputtian peeps out of Mabel's sleeve. "What'd I miss?"

"Let me go, you creeps!" Pacifica shouted aloud.

Franz announced loudly, "Welcome twins, welcome! I can tell you're loving this, right, right? No?"

The Doctor narrows his eyes. "Definitely NO."

"What are you guys doing?!" Mabel stated.

"This wasn't part of the deal, tiny Dutchman!"

"Okay, so we saw you were favoring the miners, and we figured, what's better than beating Pacifica?"

Adds in, "Killing her, right?"

The Doctor quickly gets up on his feet.

"As if! I'm calling my parents. Where's my phone?!"

The Lilliputtians have taken it and are sending the message "U R DUMM!" to someone named Tiffany.

"Hehe, send."

"Hey, hey!"

"So how about it, hugeling? Who's da best now?"

Lilliputtian pirate captain then appeared, "Not so fast land lubbers!" The pirates reveal that they have captured Sergei.

"If you're going to play dirty, so are we. Now give us the sticker, or he walks the plank!"

French Lilliputtians shouted, "No! Give us ze sticker!"

Miner Lilliputtians added it in, "The miners! Give it to the miners!" Polly hugs stern Big Henry in fear.

The Lilliputtians all clamor, pressuring Mabel, until she screams-

"ENOUGH!" The Lilliputtians look at her. One peeks out of the duck's beak.

"No one gets the sticker!"

French Lilliputtians shouts, "Sacre booo!"

Every Lilliputtians boos.

"No, no. Nuh-uh. No booing- stop, no! No one gets the sticker cuz you're all being jerks! I mean, why can't you all just get along?!"

One Dutch Lilliputtian answers, "Because we hate each other."

Lilliputtian pirate captain added in, "That's kind of how rivalries work, lass."

"Well then, maybe... maybe rivalries are dumb. Maybe you don't settle them with petty competitions. Maybe the only way to be "da best" is by ending the fighting and working together!" Rips off the sticker and eats it angrily. The Lilliputtians gasp and converse.

"It's all so clear."

"If we don't get the sticker..."

"...THEN WE FIGHT MORE HARDER THEN BEFORE, ARGH!" The pirate captain Lilliputtian announced, "FREE FOR ALL! LONG LIVE US!"

"YYYYYYAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

All four corners of the golf course fight each other again.

"Uh, you guys aren't appreciating the lesson here!" Suddenly the Lilliputtian in Mabel's sleeve points at Pacifica who is in danger.

A lever is pulled near Pacifica, and she starts being pulled toward the whirring blades of the windmill. She screams.

"We gotta get out of here! Mabel! Doc!"

"I have to save Pacifica first!" Mabel yells as she climbs a lamp post, followed by the swarm of fighting Lilliputtians. She swings along a chain of lights and lands by the windmill, evading the golf pencil spears thrown by the crowd.

Sergei was about to fall off the plank, "Ah, Mister Dipper! Нет, нет!" ("Niet, niet!"; Russian for "No, no!")

"Don't freak out, man! The water's shallow! There's literally no way to drown!"

Sergei falls in face first.

"Seriously?!"

The Doctor quickly scoops up Sergei out of the water and drags him by the back shirt.

"Ugh, took you long enough, And watch the earrings. They're worth more than your house."

Mabel deadpans, "You know, on second thought, maybe I won't untie you."

Pacifica freaks out, "Untie me! Untie me!"

"That's what I thought." Mabel pulls Pacifica free and grabs a golf club.

Lilliputtian pirate captain shouted aloud, "We have you at miniature pencil point! There's no way around us!"

"You ready to putt?"

"Way ahead of you." Pacifica quickly grabs her club and they start swinging at the Lilliputtians. "You know, you're actually not that terrible. A little rusty, but-"

Mabel shouted, "Just shut up and putt!"

The Lilliputtians are hit out of the way. Dipper and Sergei show up driving a golf cart with the Doctor.

"Get on, get on!"

"Gun it!" They drive away.

"Don't let them escape!"

The golf cart heads for the exit. The knights cut a string, releasing a pair of swinging axes in front of the gate. Dipper hits the gas and they zoom through. They go around a loop-de-loop and Sergei falls off.

"Sergei overboard!"

The Doctor saves him again.

"They're shutting us in!"

Lilliputtians poke holes through the cart to get all five into the messy war. Mabel climbs on the roof.

"Don't even think about it. You call yourself a golfer? Without us, that club is useless in your hands!"

"Oh yeah? What's ten minus six?"

"Ten minu- what- hang on..."

 **"Four!"**

As she whacks Franz into the bonus hole. It glows and shoots up a column of lava, which the golf cart rides on. They skid through the gates and stop in the parking lot, where the cart falls apart. Pencils and an ax poke through the gate.

Suddenly, the Doctor was knocked off during the ride.

"Stay out, you dumb hugelings!" Golf balls are tossed over the wall.

"DOCTOR!" The twins shouted.

Pacifica shouts out aloud, "What did you say, you little trolls? I will sue you! I will sue you and I will own you! You two! I don't know what you did or what's going on, but if you guys think just because you saved my life I—"

Mabel hands her a sticker that says "I a-paw-logize", "I'm sorry, Pacifica. We shouldn't have cheated. You totally would have beat me, fair and square."

Pacifica frowns and sticks on the sticker, "You're just lucky this sticker looks fantastic on me."

Stan and Soos pull up. Dipper and Mabel get in. Looking at Pacifica standing alone with Sergei in the parking lot, Dipper shakes his head.

"Hey! Your parents aren't here. Want a ride home?"

"Ugh, please. As if I'd ride in your—"

Lightning flashes and thunder is heard. An oncoming storm was brewing.

* * *

 _"You just want cruelty to beget cruelty. You're not superior to people who were cruel to you. You're just a whole bunch of new cruel people. A whole bunch of new cruel people, being cruel to some other people, who'll end up being cruel to you. The only way anyone can live in peace is if they're prepared to forgive. Why don't you break the cycle?"_

 _"Argh! Why should we?_

 _"What is it that you actually want?"_

 _"Ze war!"_

 _"Ah. And when this war is over, when - when you have the golf course free from each side, what do you think it's going to be like?"_

 _The words sink in._

 _"Do you know? Have you thought about it? Have you given it any consideration? Because you're very close to getting what you want. What's it going to be like? Paint me a picture. Are you going to STILL live in houses? Do you want people to go to work? What'll be holidays?"_

 _"Ze People Zill Sing Ze Song Of Angry ZEN!"_

 _"Oh! Will there be music? Do you think people will be allowed to play violins? Who will make the violins? Well? Oh, You don't actually know, do you? Because, just like every other tantruming child in history, EVERY EACH AND ONE YOU, you don't actually know what you want."_

 _"KNAVE, You don't-"_

 _"LET ME Ask you a question about this brave new world of yours! When you've killed all the bad guys, and it's all perfect and just and fair, when you have finally got it exactly the way you want it, what are you going to do with the people like you? The troublemakers. How are you going to protect your glorious revolution from the next one?"_

 _"We'll win!"_

 _"Oh, will you? Well maybe - maybe you will win. But nobody wins for long. The wheel just keepts turning. So, come on. Break the cycle."_

 _"Then why are you still talking?!"_

 _"Because I'm trying to get you to see. And I'm almost there."_

 _"Do you know what I see, Hugeling? A box. A box with everything I need. A 20% chance!"_

 _"Argh-Dutchmen! For us, too-argh!"_

 _"Zere THREE!"_

 _"Right here too, folks!"_

 _"I Shall Bravely Do What Is RIGHT!"_

 _"And we're off! Fingers on buzzers! Are you feeling lucky? Are you ready to play the game? Who's going to be quickest? Who's going to be the luckiest?!"_

 _"This is not a game, Hugeling!"_

 _"No, it's not a game, little one, and I mean that most sincerely!"_

 _"Zen, why are you doing this?"_

 _"Yes, I'd like to know that too. You set this up - why?"_

 _" **Because it's not a game!** This is a scale model of war. Every war ever fought right there in front of you. Because it's always the same. When you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die! You don't know who's children are going to scream and burn! How many hearts will be broken! How many lives shattered! How much blood will spill until everybody does what they're always going to have to do from the very beginning - **sit down and talk!** Listen to me, EVERYONE, JUST LISTEN! I just - I just want you to think. Do you know what thinking is? It's just a fancy word for changing your mind."_

 _"Argh! I will not change my mind, landlubber!"_

 _"Then you will END stupid. Alternatively, you could step away from that box. You could walk right out of here, and you could stand your fighting down."_

 _"No, I'm not stopping this, Hugeling. WE started it. I will not stop it too. You think they'll let us go after what we've done?!"_

 _"You're all the same, you screaming kids, you know that? **"Look at me, I'm unforgivable."** Well here's the unforeseeable, I forgive you! After all you've done. I forgive you!"_

 _"You don't understand...You will never understand..."_

 _"I don't understand? Are you kidding? Me? Of course I understand. I mean, do you call this a war, this funny little thing? This is not a war. **I fought in a bigger war than you will ever know!** I did worse things than you could ever imagine, and when I close my eyes... I hear more screams than anyone could ever be able to count! And do you know what you do with all that pain?! Shall I tell you where you put it? You hold it tight... Til it burns your hand! And you say this - no one else will ever have to live like this. No one else will ever have to feel this pain. **Not on my watch!** "_

 _The Dutch side quickly close their given box._

 _"...Thank you. Thank you."_

 _The French side proceed to do the same._

 _"We're...zorry..."_

 _"I know. I know, thank you."_

 _The once-been captured but bargaining negotiator looks at the medieval and pirates and western sides._

 _"Well?"_

 _"You played well, knave...It's empty, isn't it? All of the boxes - there's nothing in them. Just buttons."_

 _"Of course. But you know how you know that? Because you've started to think like me. It's hell, isn't it? No one should have to think like that. And no one will. Not on our watch."_

 _He smiles to all small eyes who look up to him, "Gotcha."_

 _"How can you be so sure that peace is certain?"_

 _"Because everyone have a disadvantage...I know that type of face."_

 _"Zell, this is all zery well, zut as znow the zones are empty now. Ze can't zorget that."_

 _"Well, everyone is one of us now, whether you like it or not." Big Henry stated while holding Polly by his hands._

 _"I don't understand how You could just do all this..." Polly chirps._

 _"Because I've been where everyone have. There was another box. I was gonna press another button. A big shiny red button. I was going to wipe out all...Man, woman, and child. I was so sure I was right." The Doctor stated matter-of-factly while looking off to one side in a distant memory..._

 _Polly asks innocently, "What happened?"_

 _"Same thing that happened to everyone. I let one person get inside my head...Trust me...now...my new-found family and friends doesn't leave from my care..."_

* * *

Soon, Pacifica is squished between Dipper and Mabel in the backseat. Sergei is in the back trunk. Stan and Soos are singing the "Jim Carrey's driving song". Pacifica's glove rests on a sticky smudge.

The Doctor meanwhile was already picked up soon afterwards after the Pines searched around the area. He hangs and sits by Soos' window. Having a firm grip, he went enjoying the night's wind and stars.

"Hey, I found two tacos!"

"You're allowed to eat in the car?"

"Yeah! The car is where secret surprise snacks happen! Want one?"

"Oh, I'm not supposed to take handouts."

"Handouts? It's called sharing! You do know what sharing is, right?"

"Sha-shaawing?"

"Just take it.

They pull up to Pacifica's house. She gets out with cramped up Sergei.

"Thanks for the ride, or whatever. Oh, and Mabel? Um, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I had fun. And tell your servant I like his W-neck!"

The Doctor smiles.

Soos shouts, "Yes!" The flap falls down.

"So are you guys, like, cool now?"

"I think we made some progress. The important thing to remember is that at the end of the day, she's just an ordinary kid like us."

The gates swing open to reveal the Northwest mansion, complete with fountains and peacocks. Fireworks go off.

"Should have charged her for that taco." Stan paused the car for while for the Doctor getting a seat.

"Agreed!"

"Hey, got any more of those surprise tacos?"

They all laugh. Out of nowhere, Franz is hiding on the rear license plate.

"Laugh now, hugelings, but Franz will have his day. Franz will—"

He sees the Doctor glaring him with hands at his waist then was hit off by his fedora which causes him to fall off and lands upside-down on the side of the road. "Ah, help! Sand trap, ow, ow!"

The Doctor causally tosses him a spare map to the golf course and motions Stan to drive.

* * *

Lilliputtians are all singing together, "We control the balls! We control the balls! From Birmingham to Montreal, we control the balls!"

"Hey guys, I figured it out! We control the balls!"

"Argh! Now he gets it!"

"Oh, you guys!"

Franz and the Lilliputtians laugh, then form a kick-line, singing: "Our lives are filled with nonstop fun! Well there's nothing like a hole in one!"

9-14 23-1-18, 20-8-5-18-5 1-18-5 14-15 23-9-14-14-5-18-19-15-14-12-25 23-9-4-15-23-19. 2-9-7 8-5-14-18-25 9-19 19-1-22-5-4. 15-12-4 13-1-14 13-3-7-21-3-11-5-20 19-12-5-5-16-9-14-7 15-14 20-8-5 7-18-5-5-14 3-1-14'20 8-5-12-16 2-21-20 23-15-14-4-5-18 23-8-1-20 8-5'19 19-5-5-14. 8-5 19-1-23 20-9-13-5...1-14-4 8-15-18-18-15-18-19.

13-5-1-14-23-8-9-12-5 4-9-16-16-5-18 6-9-14-4-19 1-14 15-12-4 2-15-15-11 9-14 20-8-5 1-20-20-9-3 15-6 20-8-5 13-25-19-20-5-18-25 19-8-1-3-11. 8-5 20-8-9-14-11-19 9-20 13-1-25 16-15-20-5-14-20-9-1-12-12-25 2-5 3-21-18-19-5-4 2-21-20 4-5-3-9-4-5-19 20-15 21-19-5 9-20 1-14-25-23-1-25 20-15 23-18-9-20-5 21-16 9-14-6-15-18-13-1-20-9-15-14 1-2-15-21-20 20-8-5 13-25-19-20-5-18-9-5-19 15-6 7-18-1-22-9-20-25 6-1-12-12-19, 19-9-13-9-12-1-18-12-25 20-15 20-8-5 10-15-21-18-14-1-12-19. 13-1-2-5-12, 8-15-23-5-22-5-18, 1-6-20-5-18 10-21-13-16-9-14-7 15-14 4-9-16-16-5-18'19 2-5-4 15-22-5-18 1-14-4 15-22-5-18, 3-15-14-22-9-14-3-5-19 8-9-13 20-15 12-5-20 8-5-18 23-18-9-20-5 9-14 20-8-5 2-15-15-11 1-19 23-5-12-12. 20-15-7-5-20-8-5-18 20-8-5-25 3-15-23-18-9-20-5 20-8-5 2-15-15-11, 23-9-20-8 4-9-16-16-5-18'19 19-5-18-9-15-21-19 1-14-4 16-1-18-1-14-15-9-4 23-18-9-20-9-14-7 13-9-24-9-14-7 23-9-20-8 13-1-2-5-12'19 3-8-9-16-16-5-18 1-20-20-9-20-21-4-5.


	24. Chapter 24

_lautaro94: I'll try my best; in my defense though-the idea somewhat popped inside my head for that beforehand chapter and thought it was fitting for that situation._

 _In the meantime, it was very itching to write this chapter, hopefully this would be readable (aside that we do know the brutality and cruelty of this episode)._

 _I do not own DW and GF. Cryptograms are A1 and Z26. All credits belong to their owners, enjoy!_

* * *

 ** _Sock_** ** _Opera_**

Meanwhile at the Gravity Falls Library, Dipper and Mabel are there-unbeknownst to the Doctor, the twins already gained the computer beforehand from Soos.

"Alright, Mabel, today is the big day."

"Big day!"

"Soos finally fixed up the laptop. If this thing works, we could learn the identity of _The Author_ and unravel the greatest mysteries of Gravity Falls. You ready?"

"Oh, I'm ready, baby." Mabel flips through pages of a pop-up book with a drawing of an infant, "Ma-ma!"

"This is it. This is it." Dipper owers on the laptop, which reads "Welcome". "Aha! It worked."

"Blip, blap, bloobity bloop, twins!" As both Dipper and Mabel high-five, bump fists, and stick out tongues.

Alarm sounds. The laptop reads **"/UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS FORBIDDEN/"** , and then it reads " _Enter Password_ ".

"Ugh! Of course, a password."

"Don't you worry, bro bro. With your brains and my laser focus, there is literally nothing that can distract us from... Did you hear that?"

Mabel sees a boy named Gabe Besen performing at the library.

 _"All my life I've been dreamin' of a love that's right for me. And now I finally know her name and it's..."_

 _"Sing it with me kids!"_

 _"Literacy!"_

He holds his handmade puppets.

"I finally understand what all the buzz is about. Reading!"

"Give me some of that honey!"

The puppets "kiss" and Gabe laughs.

Mabel went flapping pages of a pop-up of a heart that reads: Ba bump. Ba bump.

"Oh, boy." Dipper groaned.

* * *

"Haha. Thank you, thank you."

Mabel stated airily, "Just when I was getting over Mermando, of course, you show up at my doorstep."

Dipper went walking to bookshelf, "Oh, yeah, I forgot about Mermando. Did not care for Mermando. Okay, this cryptology book says that there's 7.2 million 8-letter words. I'll type, you read. Okay, Mabel? Mabel?"

Mabel's empty chair spins. Dipper rolls his eyes. Apparently his sister haven't forgotten crazy boys phase.

Dipper types in "PASSWORD" on the computer. It beeps.

"Huh..." Mabel sits back next to him. "So, how'd it go?"

Mabel replied excitingly, "Dipper, how hard do you think it'd be to write and compose a sock puppet rock opera with lights, original music and live pyrotechnics by Friday?"

"What?" Dipper grabs Mabel, "Mabel, are you serious?!"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! I got lost in his eyes and his ponytails and I'm gonna be so embarrassed on Friday if I don't have ANYTHING."

"What about cracking this password? You know, mystery twins?"

"If you help me with this for JUST a couple of days I promise I'll help with the password! Please, pretty please!...It's for love, Dipper..."

"All right, okay-"

Mabel then hugs him, "YES! THANK YOU! THIS GUY! HE'S NUMBER ONE!"

"Okay, okay, okay, shhhh..."

He then proceeds to put everything away in his own backpack he brought, shoving the mysterious laptop in it.

Dipper and Mabel then went leaving the library. "I can't wait to get to the bottom of this laptop. We're close to something big here; I can feel it...if feels like it is in front of- "

"Hello!" The Doctor exclaims, approaching out of nowhere to pick up the twins.

"Oh Doctor!" said Mabel, who then proceeds to tell him of her new love interest that is interested in making puppets.

The Doctor scratches one of his face's eyebrows tips at this new info, while unwittingly not knowing that Dipper has something that he was looking for...

All three pass by one of the walls that was simmering in the light, when the familiar triangular foe's shadow follows them while walking out of the library.

Out of the corner of his eye, the Doctor pauses and recalls the quickly gone-by recognizable shadow that he himself casted: an elderly man with a cane-

"Hey Doc! You coming?"

The Doctor glares at the empty wall, and shrugs to go back to his old friend's place.

* * *

Soon enough, Mabel, Dipper, Soos, Wendy, and Waddles with the Doctor were in the living room, working on the puppets.

Each and everyone made their own look-like mini-figures. Soos had made one puppet that looks like him, and Wendy had every perfect description of himself on her own puppet.

"Alright. This is gonna be called Glove Story: A Sock Opera. Just to warn you, people's eyes will get wet. Cause they'll be crying. From laughter! From how tragic it is." Mabel explains while holding up ones that looks a lot like herself and Grunkle Stan.

Dipper tries to rip his own handmade sock puppets that are glued to his face, "Yeah, um. That's sounds great." As he proceeds to coughs up pom-poms.

Wendy chuckles, "Come on, Dipper, you gotta roll with Mabel's craziness. It's what makes life worth living."

" _People are Puppets are Held together by String!_ Puppet boy, Puppet boy, you're the boy I-"

"Loooooovvvvveeee!" as everyone sings and Waddles squeals along.

Stan Pines starts to walk in with his eyebrows raised at the Doctor, "Not even gonna ask."

Soon it was evening with Mabel putting puppets around her bed.

"Goodnight, my babies." As she takes a Gabe puppet and makes it kiss the Mabel puppet. "Mwop mwop mwop mwop. Mwah! Soon, Gabe Benson-"

Computer beeps.

"Ugh, wrong password, WRONG, WRONG! UGH!" Dipper collapses while shoving the stubborn rusty computer aside.

"Don't stay up all night, Dipper. Last time you got this sleep-deprived you tried to eat your own shirt."

Dipper was sucking on his shirt, then spits it out. "Pleh. Just a few more tries."

The Doctor bids them good-night and proceeds to exit, "Usually the case, I sometimes sleep often..." He sighs. "Sometimes..."

* * *

Dipper suddenly was on the roof, typing and making the computer beep.

"Ugh, I can't take that sound anymore. I. Hate. You. Sound. There has to be some shortcut or clue. Who would know about secret codes!?"

"What codes? What is it? What are you working on?" The Doctor questions with his head popping up.

"Ah! Doctor! You scared me!"

"What?" The Doctor stares off in the night.

"I just got this back from Soos who fixed it neat and tight but-"

"No seriously-What?"

Wind blows. An eye creeps around the moon, shining the light upon both the Doctor and Dipper.

"What?!"

The bricks form around it to reveal the none-other-the ominous omnipotent enemy. Dipper was stunned.

"What!?"

Color vanishes from the world. Bill Cipher then states his presence: "I THINK I KNOW A GUY!"

"WHAT?!"

* * *

 _"Well, well, well. If isn't the Doc himself, always yourself aren't you?! You're awfully persistent too, Pine Tree. Hats off to both of you!"_

As he yanks his hat off, tilting the world sideways, "Hey!" The Doctor exclaims as he proceeds to fall off from the entry to the roof.

Bill puts back on his hat, which makes the Doctor fall flat on his face. "OOF!"

"AA! AAA! AAA! AAAAAAA! You again!" Dipper shouted.

 _"Did you two miss me? Admit it, you missed me."_

"Hardly. You worked with Gideon! You tried to destroy my uncle's mind!"

"I second that!" The Doctor groans as he got himself up.

 _"It was just a job, guys! No hard feelings! I've been keeping an-"_

Bill becomes bigger and voice becomes demonic.

 _"- **EYE ON YOU** since then, and I must say I'm impressed!"_

"Really?"

 _"You kid deserve a prize! Here, have a head that's always screaming!"_ As Bill claps and a screaming head appears.

Screaming head went on screaming. The Doctor face-palms, "-all for crying aloud, irony is coming!"

Bill snaps and the head disappears layer by layer.

 _"Hahaha... The point is, I like you two. The Doc on the other hand is always AMUSING as always. How's about you let me give you a hint, huh? I only ask for a small-"_

As his voice gets demonic again and hand and eye light on fire, _" **FAVOR** -in return." _He motions at Dipper.

The Doctor suddenly became mortified and snapped at Bill with an accusing finger pointed at him. "NOPE! Absolutely NOT! You leave him out of your own schemes!" with brows down in giant concern while popping the "p" in "nope".

"Yeah! Don't forget who defeated you last time!" Dipper chimed in.

 _"Whoa! Settle down buddy! Easy on your character-though it is fun to see you seething! Heh, right kid, you "defeated me". Well if you ever change your minds-"_ As he pretends to grab Dipper's brain.

 _"I'll be here for you, ready to make a deeaaall."_

Making three slots appear spinning on his chest. They stop at a pine tree symbol. He turns to the Doctor.

 _"Hey, wanna hear my impression of Pinetree in about three seconds? AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"_

Dipper wakes up, "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The Doctor snaps his head back up. "Oof! Gosh, dang it...no really-that is always never good-"

"Whew, it was just a dream..."

The Doctor notices something on Dipper's hand: _The dream was real. Look on the other one._

 _Look! A turkey!_

"He does have a sense of rude humor..." mutters the Doctor, who quickly formulates ideas to stop or foil him. "That is always can be his undoing..."

* * *

Mabel went waving the Stan puppet in Stan's face, "Hey, I'm puppet Staaaannn!"

Stan grumbles, "Still ignoring this..."

Dipper walks in and yawns, "Hey Mabel."

"Woah, bag check for Dipper's eyes. Ha ha! Nobody?"

The Doctor came in, "Stan, we need to talk..."

Mabel stated, "Dipper, I told you to get some sleep last night! Here, wake up with some Mabel Juice!"

She holds blender full of red liquid with various objects floating around. "It has plastic dinosaurs in it!"

Stan broke off from the talk with the Doctor for a second, "It's like if coffee and nightmares had a baby!"

Dipper went pushing Mabel into living room, "Mabel, listen, last night I had a dream with Bill and our friend-Doc in it!"

"Wait, hold up, the triangle guy?" Signaling fingers around her eye to make a triangle.

"He said he'd give me the code to the laptop if I gave him something. Like I'd actually trust Bill, right?

"Don't worry, bro. Today's the day that the mystery twins are back in action. I'll help you crack that code. I've just got to hand off my puppet stuff to my production crew."

"Production crew?"

Candy and Grenda are outside the Mystery Shack covered in socks.

"We read the script. Very emotional."

"I cried like eight times!"

Gabe stakes up to them, "Hey ladies."

Mabel shrieks, "GABE!"

"I was just bladin' by. Helps me dry out my ponytail after a shower!"

He takes off helmet and shakes hair, "Ah, ah!"

Grenda comments, "Hubbity-hubbuty!"

Candy whispers in Korean, "I must steal him away from Mabel..."

"It's so great to see you! I was just working on the world's greatest puppet show. IT HAS PUPPETS!" Mabel exclaims.

"Your passion is so refreshing, Mabel. Unlike the girl from last night's puppet show. Single-stich on one puppet, and cross-stitch on the other? I was like, "Uh-uh!""

"Cross-huh?"

"Naturally I deleted her off my cell phone contacts list."

"NATURALLY! Hahahaha!"

"I know you won't let me down. Based on what you said the other day, you must be a puppet expert."

"You know, Gabe, you look pretty sweaty. You should really take your shirt off. Right? Aren't we all thinking that?" Grenda stated.

"Later, ladies." Gabe skates off. The Doctor came back, and mildly stared at passing Gabe before struggling.

The Doctor ponders aloud while tapping in his forehead, "...the runestones are missing! Gosh, I wonder where the unlimited coffee and Red Bull is! Tape? Nah, that hurts, trap **him** with other worlds' or dimensional-slash-magical souvenirs...?"

Mabel exclaims loudly, "GWAAA! We gotta up our game, girls! Did you hear that thing he said about the stitches?!"

"Don't worry, Mabel, your crew can handle it!"

Grenda holds up puppet of herself, but then rips it, "Oops."

"How many eyes does a face have again?"

Soos comes along while trying to keep a mountain of stuff on the car, "I got it, I got it-Ah! I'm not okay!"

"AAA! Okay, I'm back on fabrication. Get me my lint roller!" Mabel runs off. "DOC! Thank goodness, here! Remember to use this "Crowley the Reverend" tuxedo to do that scene!"

The Doctor shrugs off-handily for a while and decided to help out his friends' family...

Dipper then grabs her, "Whoa, whoa! Hey, you just said you were going to help me!"

"DIPPER! This sock crisis just bumped up to "Code Argh-ly"! The laptop can wait!"

"Mabel, do you seriously think that your random crush of the week is more important than uncovering the mysteries of this town? You're obsessed!"

"I'm obsessed? Look at you! You look like a vampire! And not the hot kind!"

Dipper rubs his eyes, "But you said you were going to help me today!"

"Oh, I can help you. With tickles!" Mabel tickles him with the puppet that looks like her.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Dipper punches her arm and Candy and Grenda laugh.

"Okay, fine! You know what? I'll do it on my own!"

The Doctor suddenly remembers something...

* * *

"Passwords. Passwords. Mabel. Is. Useless. Oh, man..." Dipper yawns.

Computer: **Too many failed entries. Initiate data erase in five minutes.**

"WHAT!? No! Noonono! I'm gonna lose everything?! I only have one more try?!"

Suddenly everything turns black and white and Bill appears in a knees crossed manner if he was mock-meditating.

 _"Well, well, well. Someone's looking desperate!"_

"I thought I told you to leave me alone!" yelled Dipper.

If Bill had a mouth, he would be smirking.

 _"I can help you, kid. You just need to hear out my demands!"_

Dipper went looking at computer, which is at 4 minutes now.

"Uh, what crazy thing do you want anyway? To eat my soul? To rip out my teeth? Are you gonna replace my eyes with baby heads or something?!"

 _"Yeesh, kid, relax. All I want is a **puppet**!"_

"A puppet? What are you playing at?"

 _"Everyone loves **puppets**. And it looks to me that you've got a **surplus**!"_

"I don't know, man...Mabel worked really hard on these."

 _"Seems to me one little puppet is **a small price to pay to learn all the secrets of the universe."**_

He goes near to Mabel's puppets which are hanging on a giant wooden hanger. He tickles one puppet that looks like the Doctor, under its chin and head.

 _" **Besides**! What's your sister done for you, lately? **How many times have you sacrificed for her, huh?** And when has she ever returned the favor?"_

Bill flashes back to events from saving Mabel from gnomes, getting Waddles" and helping Mabel's new-found mermaid boyfriend to bargain with Dipper.

 _"I MEAN, just imagine. You wanted answers in the lifetime; Buddy-Doc himself **has them.** You were gullible to think that he's mindless to know VERY MUCH ABOUT This Matter! **He's guarding an unopened door; so instead a key he'll give to you-I can show you a free pass TO BASH IT DOWN!** He's the real reason your sister and others haven't returned the favor! He's basically.. **.fashioning you as: a** **puppet**!_

Dipper looks at Mabel playing outside with her friends, and the computer, which now has 30 seconds on the clock.

He also wonders that if he did noticed something amiss about their godfather; after all he knows about this town alot...

Where is he anyways?

Bill's eye suddenly becomes a clock, _"Tick tock, kid!"_

He reaches for him and hand lights on fire.

Dipper sighed, "Uh, just one puppet? Fine!"

 _They shook hands. "Dipper?"_

The Doctor calls out. "Dipper?"

"So what puppet are you gonna pick, anyway?" Dipper stated, not knowing the Doctor is coming up the stairs.

Bill's eye then went playful.

 _"Hmm, let's see!"_

"Dipper?" The Doctor is seen up on top to the attic where Dipper is located.

 _"Eenie-"_

"Dipper! I was wondering if-"

 _"-meenie-"_

"-if you have that-Laptop?!" The Doctor then sees Dipper shaking hands with Bill. _History repeats itself..._

 _"-mynie..._ ** _YOU!"_ **

Right in front of Dipper's then horrified eyes, Bill's free arm stretched and **tears** The Doctor from his body.

The Doctor frantically grabs his hair and head, shutting his eyes. Yelling aloud.

"ARGH! ARGH-ACK! NO! NO! I WILL NOT! NO! ARGH!"

"Doc!? What's happening?! What's Bill done to you!?"

"We Are Not Dealing With Reality! ARGH-NO! AHHH! I Have Gone Too Far! ARGH! Dreams, disillusions, and cheap tricks! GAHHHHH! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! ARGH! STOP RUMMAGING IN MY HEAD- _resistance is futile_! NO! _Powers like a victorious empero_ r-! GAHHHHH- _faces, the faces of idiocy_...AH! ARGH! _We must not look at goblin men, We must not buy their fruits: Who knows upon what soil they fed Their hungry thirsty roots_ -!"

"Doctor?!"

The Doctor's now-mortified face shone off multiple colors, with the Doctor's hands on his head, screaming in pain.

"DIPPER!" The Doctor shouted out, starting the young boy who wanted answers.

"I CAN'T FIGHT IT!"

Then the Doctor opens his eyes, his eyes shone bright yellow-devilish looking with slits. He smiles.

Dipper quickly backs away. "Huh?! This can't be happening! What did you do to his body?!"

The Doctor's grin grew more wider.

 _"Sorry, kid but Doc's is MY puppet AGAIN! AAHAHAHA!"_

Without breaking eye contact with Dipper, he single-handily grabs the laptop which he proceeds to throw the computer to floor and steps on it.

 _"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

 _The Doctor was in the mindscape, quickly brushing himself off and sees Mabel's puppets and realizes he can use it..._

* * *

"Oh my gosh, this can't be happening! This can't be happening!"

Bill stumbles around in the Doctor's body, cackling. He stops in front of a mirror while a horrified Dipper watches.

 _"Man, it has been so long since I've inhabited this body!"_

He slaps himself in the face multiple times, _"Woo! Woo! Haha! **Pain is hilarious!** And two same eyes? This thing's is still deluxe!"_

"I don't understand! Why are you doing this?! I thought we had a deal!" Dipper shuddered as the Doctor's possessed body leaned over him, with the creepy smile leering out.

 _"Look kid, you've been getting way too close to figuring out some major answers. I've got big plans comin' and I don't need you or DOC gettin' in my way. Destroying that laptop was a cinch. Now I just need to destroy your journal. Race ya to the bottom of the stairs!"_

Bill lets himself in the Doctor's body to fall down the stairs.

The Doctor silently cursed himself that he didn't see this event coming, he floats in the mindscape to follow Dipper and Bill.

Dipper gasps. "Hey!"

Bill went into the kitchen, taking a can of Pitt cola from the fridge.

 _"Human soda! I'm gonna drink it like a person!"_

He pours it into his mouth and over his face, laughing. Dipper's face is disgusted.

"Where do you keep that journal anyway?" He then scares Dipper with the Doctor's face spewed with soda.

Opens a drawer and reaches in. He slams the drawer on his arm repeatedly.

 _"It's gotta be around here somewhere!"_

Continues slamming drawer, occasionally wincing.

 _"Boy, these arms are durable. Yet! The anatomy of yours is actually great! Like the time you left him on a planet full of cats, isn't that right DOC?"_

The Doctor in the mindscape was stern. "That's another story-FOR Starters though, you are going to leave this body and others alone! Too long you messed up many things!"

 _"Pfft! Please, I got nowhere to go from **our playground** Doc, the **playtime** was destined to end, remember? Your past tenses then ended it!"_

"Wait, who you are talking to-?"

 _"I'm talking to Doc right here! He's trapped in the mindscape due to me possessing his body! Funny isn't it? Now then!"_

He opens a drawer, looking for tools.

 _"Damn! You always plan ahead don't you DOC?! A blade or a fork might change Pinetree's mind of showing where the journal is! It's even isn't his, right?"_

He cocks the possessed body's eyebrow to the Doctor's wary face.

"I've hidden it! Somewhere you'll never find it in a million years!" Dipper retorted.

Suddenly Mabel came by. "Hey Dipper! I borrowed your journal to use as a prop in the show I hope you don't mind I'm gonna go before you process this sentence! Looking sharp in the costume there Doc! See you soon! OK! BYEE!"

Bill in the Doctor's body looks at Dipper, then grins, " _Sure, sounds great, sister! I'll see you at the show!"_ Using the Doctor's mouth to mimic Dipper's voice like if he's a ventriloquist with a dummy.

Dipper panics, "Wait! No, Mabel, don't listen to him! That's not me! You've gotta hear me! No, no! Wait! Stop!"

Bill possessing the Doctor's body then grabs Dipper who was about to run and warn Mabel, drags him to a chair, and ties Dipper up with forced-pulled down drapes and left him.

 _"Heh! Anyways, welcome back to the mindscape, Doc! Without a vessel to possess, he's basically a ghost! Try to stop me! BUT THEN AGAIN HOW CAN YOU STOP ME IF YOU DON'T EXIST! HAHAHAHA! See ya! You too Pinetree!"_

Bill left.

Dipper mourns sadly, "Aw man, I didn't realize something like this might happen, Doctor. If you are out there Doc, I am so sorry what happened. I should rather be more selfless and tell you that I was using the laptop."

The Doctor's puppet floats up to him out of nowhere, "Tch, don't say that. I should be sorry too! I'll explain later. Hold on..."

He quickly frees surprised Dipper while holding onto the puppet.

"...few tricks learned from Houdini's prime time-Alright! To the Mystery Cart!"

* * *

"Oh, hey Doc! There you are! Have you seen Dipper?

 _"Sorry! He's ain't coming-stressed about puppets drowning him."_

Wendy comes along, "What up, sir?"

"We're heading to the theater."

"Need a ride, Doc?"

 _"Oho, anything for you, Red!"_ He gets in the car. Wendy quirks an eyebrow in suspicion of the Doctor not being his usual self.

* * *

Dipper parks the cart at the theater where Mabel's puppet show is at.

"Bill? Bill! I gotta get your body back before he does something crazy with it."

"No worries, he still needs it like a puppeteer...hold on..."

He spots his possessed body hanging with Wendy and Soos.

 _"Aw, nothing like the theater, huh toots?"_ He hung an usual arm around Wendy's shoulders. He wears a noticeable nametag that says: Hello, My Name is-Matthew Townshed.

 _"Hey Soos, wanna hear the exact time and date of your death?"_ While finger pointing him with a thumb up and winking. Clicks his teeth.

"Heheh, okay!"

Mabel stated excitingly, "Hey guys! You all made it! Wonder where Dipper is..."

Stan comes in, "Are you kidding me? I would never miss... whatever this is."

"By the by, Mabel, where'd you put Pinetree's journal again?"

Mabel replied unwittingly, "I used it as a prop for the big wedding scene! You play the the reverend on the keyboard, remember?"

 _"Right! I play the reverend? Piano-things are my Jam! HAHA! I mean, someone's gotta hold that journal, right?_

"Right! Let's go!"

Dipper sees them also with the Doctor using his puppet, "Oh, no! Wait! Mabel!" He quickly after and follows them backstage.

"Hey Dipper!" Soos exclaims.

Mabel peeks through the curtain. Gabe is sitting down with his puppets. The lights flicker.

"The show is about to begin! Please turn off your cell phones! Unless you're texting me, cuties!" exclaimed Grenda addressing to the audience.

The house lights dim, and, to applause, the curtain opens. The set is a glittery and colorful Mystery Shack. A light illuminates Candy, standing at a keyboard, dressed as David Bowie.

Candy announces, "Gather round, and let us sing, about a girl who had almost everything."

She is rolled off the stage. A Dipper puppet pops out of a window and sings.

Mabel uses the created puppets with the others.

As Puppet Dipper pops up: "Look, it's Mabel!"

As Puppet Mabel pops up: "Hi there!"

As Puppet Soos: "Did you say stable?"

As Puppet Stan: "No, he said Mabel!"

As Puppet Mabel: "Okay, hit it, boys!

The puppets form a line and sing.

"Who's that girl with the pig and the braces? She puts smiles on everyone's faces!"

Gabe smiles and nods along. "When she's around, you're never bored!"

As Puppet mayor: "I am a mayor, and here's an award!"

Singing as Puppet Mabel: "Thank you, mayor, it's true I'm great. But the perfect girl needs the perfect maaaate..."

Gabe puppet is revealed.

As Puppet Gabe: "Hey, what's up, I'm Gabe."

As Puppet Mabel: "Bwaaaa?"

Heart glasses are layered over eyes.

Bill sees Grenda is standing backstage. Bill trims in the vicarage clothing, walks up behind her. _"So, hey, Grendo! Where's that book prop I'm using for the wedding scene?"_

"It's up in the wedding cake. But that doesn't come down until Act 3. So hold your horses!"

Bill backing away. _"Oh, I'll hold my horses. I'll hold them... you monster."_

Dipper peeks and waits for Mabel with the Doctor.

As Puppet Mabel: "Finally, we're together."

As Puppet Gabe: "I'm sorry, Mabel, but I have to go fight. In the war!"

A helmet lands on his head. He yells and runs off into a ravaged, flaming background. With a roar, a gigantic many-tentacled monster appears. Lasers flash, fog rolls in, and gunshots are heard.

As Puppet Mabel: "I'll wait for you, Gabe! I'll wait for you!"

Happy music plays and the curtain closes. The audience cheers.

"Our intermission has begun! Mill about!"

"Whew, okay, you can do this, Mabel. Only 36 more musical numbers."

She drinks from the water fountain. The Doctor puppet pats her on her shoulder.

Dipper comes along. "Pst, Mabel!" She notices the Doctor puppet talking and does a spit take.

"Aah! It's come to life! Dipper watch out! The puppetbooks didn't warn me about this!"

She throws a fork at it.

"Mabel, it's the Doctor! You need to help him!

"Wait, what, Doctor?! But you're... so much more of a sock than usual!"

"Funny-yet, jokes aside; Bill took my body! Watch out for him!"

"Mabel, you have to listen. Bill tricked me! He stole his body and now he's after the journal! You have to find the journal before Bill destroys it. It's the only hope to get Doc back in his body!"

"But my cue's coming up any minute!"

There is a knock on the door and Gabe enters with flowers.

"Hey, Mabel, do you have a moment?"

"GABE!"

She grabs the puppet floating beside her and tucks it behind her back, laughing nervously. Dipper sees the Doctor struggles to free his hand.

"Ow! Watch it please!" The Doctor whispers.

"Mabel, it's clear to me now that you really love puppets. I mean, you went whole hog. And if you stick the ending, well, maybe later you could join me for a biscotti?"

"You drive a biscotti?"

"I'll be waiting."

"Did you hear that? He loves it! This play has to be flawless. Can't we wait until after the show?"

"Mabel! You want our family's friend to be a sock puppet forever?!"

"No Worries-here's the plan: Dipper and I might help out the scene-soon Mabel and I will catch Bill at his act.

Dipper nods.

"Alrighty, just take over for me till I get back with the book. Little puppet face!" She winks at the Doctor, who shrugs with his flail arms.

Soon, Dipper is providing the voices for the puppets while reading the script secretly.

As Puppet Mabel: "Gabe! You're back from the war!"

As Puppet Gabe: "Yes I am! Thanks to the Doctor who ended it, I survived! Wanna kiss and sing at the same time?"

As Puppet Mabel: "Okay!"

Dipper makes kissing sound effects as the puppets kiss.

To himself, "Seriously?"

The audience applauds. Mabel climbs the catwalk and runs over to where the giant cake is hanging. The journal sits inside. Mabel climbs over the edge and reaches for the journal.

"Come on, come on!

Falls into the cake and it plummets down. Just before it hits the stage, it is pulled back up. The Doctor sees this and signals to Dipper to speed things up quickly. He plans to interfere Bill's threats...

As Mabel: "I hope this kiss never ends!"

Mabel sighs, "Come on, come on now, there must be a way to get our friend's body back!"

Bill then made his appearance; lean and towering, _"Oho, but why would you want to do that?"_

Mabel looks up to see Bill pulling the cake up, with lights shining behind his grinning face.

"Bill-Doctor! Hm...Dr. Bill!"

 _"Shh! You wouldn't want to ruin the show... Whoops!"_

He briefly releases the cake, sending Mabel plummeting.

 _"It's slipping! How's about you hand that book over?"_

"No way! This is Dipper's! I'd never give it away!" Mabel retorted.

 _"Hmm, you didn't seem to have a problem taking it for your own play, ditching him when he needed you. So come to your senses. Give me the book or your play is ruined."_

Mabel sighs and begins to hand over the journal. _"There it is. I mean, who would sacrifice everything they've worked for just for their dumb sibling?"_

Mabel suddenly realizes it, "Dipper would."

"Huh?"

With all her might, Mabel kicks him which made Bill fall into the cake and they fall to the stage.

As Puppet Stan: "I'm giving you away. You are a woman now. Cue the music!"

The Doctor with the puppet uses the keyboard behind the setting which every audience hears the song: "Molto bene! _Makin' up a song about Mabel! She's a peach, she's a doll, she's a pal of ours! She's as cute as a puppet in the eyes of everyone who ever laid their eyes on her! When she comes around exploring, destructive excitement and time will never, ever make it boring! Our eyes will be on Mabel!_ Waddles, the rings!"

Waddles squeals.

"Wait, what?"

Dipper and the Doctor looks up to see the falling cake.

"Oh no!"

The cakes crashes to the floor. Mabel and Bill tumble out, grappling over the journal. Lasers and fog go off.

"Get out of our friend's body, you evil triangle!"

Stan gets out camera and sees some sort of struggle around the heavy dense fog. "Whoa! Fighting! I can sell this!"

Mabel hits Bill in the face with the journal and runs away. _"ARGH! You can't stop me! I'm a being of pure energy with no weakness! I hold the body of a-"_

"True, but you're in Doc's body. And he gave me some tips!"

 _"Whaddya mean his-"_

Mabel tickles him. The Doctor yells in approval, "At the armpits! That's right! Ticklish aren't we all!"

"Tickle, tickle!"

Bill laughs and falls on the floor. _"Aah! **Body spasms!** What are these!?"_

"Thanks to the information given by Doc in the backstage, a little note about the body-he's been busy for 24 hours! He stayed up all night like Dipper!"

The Doctor smirks in his puppet body and gave a type of thumbs up.

She runs around the stage, Bill chasing her, "Also, I got a full night's sleep and I'm on four mega-shots of Mabel Juice!"

Bill's on the Doctor's face went drooping, _"Ah! What is this feeling?"_

Went wheezing _, "IMPOSSIBLE! My body is burning! It Can't BE! I can't move these stupid legs now! Curse you, Time-time-ti-t-whew! Body...shutting down... the head... it's defense... is... -no... kicking... me... -no... out...!"_

Dipper and Mabel watch as Bill stumbles around, then he collapses. Bill shoots out of the Doctor;s body and the world turns black and white.

 _"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa.. hey! WHAT THE?!"_

Gleefully and quickly the Doctor flies back into his body and opens his eyes.

"Hey! Yes! I'm back in my body! Thank you guys! And it's... just as underwhelming as I remember."

He stands and grips his back in pain. "I agree with Stan. Ooh, everything hurts. But I manage as always-ow my eyes!"

Bill then cackles. The twins look over to see the before-empty puppet of the Doctor shrieking.

 _"This isn't the last you'll hear of me! **Big things are coming!** You can't stop me! People will die for you DOCTOR! Starting with these kids, you puppeteer, it takes one to know one, right!?"_

Mabel sighs, "I'm sorry, Gabe."

She holds the "Big Finish" button. "I'll do that for you..."

Mabel looks up, the Doctor presses the sonic that was taken from his own vest underneath the costume. _"Uh oh-"_ Bill sees the Doctor now towering over him with his shadow.

It is revealed that Bill is on a pile of pyrotechnics, which explodes, sending fireworks shooting into the shocked audience and blowing up the box of puppets. Everyone took cover.

"Indeed!" He stated after he pressed his sonic.

Like in slow motion, Stan's puppet arcs through the air, aflame with two others: an usual extra copy and the Doctor's, as Gabe, amid falling puppets, looks on in shock. "Ave Maria" plays mournfully.

The rest of the fireworks go off in a cacophonous boom, and Dipper stomps on the Doctor's puppet that was possessed by Bill momentarily. As the smoke clears from the smoldering set, the twins turn to the audience. Some scaffolding crashes to the floor behind them.

"Don't worry. I've seen enough movies to know this is the part where the audience thinks it was all part of the show and loves it. Cue applause!"

The Doctor quickly improvises to save dignity. "And so wedding has ended, ever after! THE END! Cue the closing!"

Grenda and Candy tug the ropes which closes everything.

The audience stares at the curtains and leave the theater, grumbling about how they almost died. Gabe stands, frowning.

"Gabe! Stick around for the wrap party? We've got mini-quiches!"

"Don't speak to me, Mabel. You've made a mockery of my art form. Let's go, my loves."

He walks away, kissing the puppets.

Dipper glares at him, "Did he just make out with his puppets?"

"I might've dodged a bullet there."

Candy shouts aloud in Korean, "Wait, Gabe! Candy still loves you!"

"Oof. Mabel, I'm sorry about all this. It's my fault your puppets got ruined."

"Well, one of them survived."

She pulls out the Mabel puppet.

"And she has something to say to you. (as puppet) I'm sorry, Dipper. I spent all week obsessing over a dumb guy. But the dumb guy I should have cared about was you! Bap! (Nudges Dipper's face.) Mystery twins?

Dipper agrees, "Mystery twins."

They fist bump. The Doctor smiles briefly before looking up in the sky.

"Come on, bro bro, let's go home."

"Say Doc, do you need to go to the hospital?"

The Doctor hooks the Mystery Cart to Stan's car which Stan looks up with quick worried eyes. The Doctor found a very threatening note.

"Looks like he is really on the next level of being dangerous now..."

Both Dipper and Mabel see the shocking message:

 _Note to self: Possessing people is hilarious! To think of all the sensations I've been missing out on—burning, stabbing, drowning. It's like a buffet tray of fun! Once I destroy that journal, I'll enjoy giving this body its grand finale— **by throwing it off the water tower!** Best of all, he wouldn't able to come back alive with a new hairdo, people will just think Doc lost his mind and his **recent** form will wander in the mindscape forever in eternity. **Want to join him, Shooting Star and Pinetree?**_

The Doctor crumbles the note in silent fury.

"Oh, Doctor-we'll are so sorry...how about double ice cream sandwich each for Dipper and you? It's on me." Mabel stated.

"I'll be fine." The Doctor's seriousness then turned to brief excitement, "But hey, I'm hard to kill, would indeed like some treat and rest up for a while..." He adds with a wink.

The twins smiled.

The Doctor chuckles and looks at his minor injuries.

They seem to disappear in a shimmering light...

* * *

Mabel Puppet: "Hey Dipper, what did one sock puppet say to the other sock puppet?"

Dipper Puppet: "I don't know Mabel, what?"

Mabel Puppet: "You look like you could use a HAND!"

She laughs. Dipper Puppet faces away annoyed. The curtain closes. Puppet Stan and Old Man McGucket are sitting in a theater booth.

McGucket Puppet: "That joke was really something, right?"

Stan Puppet: "Yeah buddy, something terrible!"

Both laugh altogether. The stage reveals the Doctor himself placing each puppets next to each other. Then he grins and his eyes glowed with slits.

Mabel wakes up with a scream. She turns the Mabel puppet away from her bed and goes back to sleep.

16-21-18-5 5-14-5-18-7-25, 14-15-20 19-11-9-14 1-14-4 2-15-14-5. 18-9-19-9-14-7 12-9-11-5 20-8-5 19-8-5-16-1-18-4 20-15-14-5. 23-9-4-4-12-5 19-8-9-6-20-5-18 23-8-1-20-5-22-19 2-5-1-18-15. 4-18 2-9-12-12 10-15-9-14-19 21-16 23-9-20-8 20-8-5 20-15-23-14-19-8-5-4, 20-5-16-5-19-8, 20-8-5 22-1-12-5-25-1-18-4, 23-9-14-11-12-5, 26-1-7-18-5-21-19, 20-8-5 5-13-16-5-18-15-18, 20-9-13-5-12-15-18-4 22-9-3-20-15-18-9-15-21-19, 20-8-5 4-18-5-1-13-12-15-18-4, 4-9-19-3-15-18-4-5-4, 13-18 3-12-5-22-5-18, 1-14-4 12-5-1-4-5-18 15-6 22-15-15-18-4 23-8-9-12-5 16-12-1-25-9-14-7 3-1-18-4 7-1-13-5-19 9-14-19-9-4-5 20-8-5 4-15-3-20-15-18'19 13-9-14-4.

23-5'22-5 1-12-12 8-1-4 19-15-13-5 6-21-14 20-15-14-9-7-8-20, 2-21-20 12-5-20'19 14-15-20 6-15-18-7-5-20 23-8-15 20-8-5 18-5-1-12 "16-21-16-16-5-20 13-1-19-20-5-18-19" 1-18-5: 19-9-12-5-14-20-12-9-11-5 18-5-16-20-15-9-4-19 23-8-15 8-1-22-5 9-14-6-9-12-20-18-1-20-5-4 15-21-18 7-15-22-5-18-14-13-5-14-20. 20-8-5 4-15-3 19-1-22-5-4 20-8-5 13-15-15-14.

14-15 16-21-16-16-5-20 19-20-18-9-14-7-19 3-1-14 8-15-12-4 13-5 4-15-23-14 19-15 16-1-20-9-5-14-20-12-25 9 23-1-20-3-8 20-8-9-19 20-15-23-14 1-2-14-15-18-13-1-12 19-15-15-14 23-9-12-12 2-5 20-8-5 14-15-18-13 5-14-10-15-25 20-8-5 3-1-12-13 2-5-6-15-18-5 20-8-5 19-20-15-18-13. 20-8-5-18-5 1-18-5 14-15 19-20-18-9-14-7-19 15-14 13-5!


	25. Chapter 25

_**Soos and the Real Girl**_

"Rainbows! Tacos! Vampires! Fandoms!"

Mabel happily jumps all around inside the Mystery Shack.

She accidentally bumps into the screendoor, getting her braces caught in it.

"Braces! Braces caught in the screen door! Someone dictate my will, I'm giving it all to Waddles!"

Fortunately, Soos comes up holding a screwdriver, "Say "ah," girl-dude!"

Mabel opens her mouth wide.

"Aaaah...!"

Soos pries Mabel's braces off of the screendoor.

"Soos! You saved me!"

"Heh, heh! Just doing my job, hambone. I'll see you dudes tomorrow."

Soos opens the door and leaves.

Dipper and Mabel both come up to the door.

"Bye, Soos!"

Wendy is playing with a Chinese finger trap.

"Night, Soos."

Stan, as usual, is working on an attraction called "Thigh-Clops".

"Night, Soos."

Soos is walking away from the shack, singing.

"Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo! Walking to my car...!"

Mabel ask her brother, Dipper.

"You ever wonder what Soos does when he's not here at the Mystery Shack?"

"No."

Wendy adds in, "Not really."

Stan shrugs, "Not once ever."

The Pines' family's man, enigmatic Dr. Houston leans by the doorway.

"He's a great kid, and he usually helps out his grandma if you recall..."

* * *

Soos is playing a video game entitled "First Person Puncher".

"Punch! Punch those leopards! Oh, highlights are done!"

He sets down his controller, leans over and begins taking foil out of his grandmother's hair, "You're gonna make all the other grandmas at the bingo hall so jealous!"

Abuelita replies happily, "Just a minute, m'ijo, look at this. Your cousin Reggie is having an engagement party next month."

"Wait, wait. Reggie is engaged? But he's like the poor man's Soos."

"I do not want to pressure you, but you are a man now... in a way. It's time for you to start meeting girls. I would like to see you settled before I ascend to heaven and leave with the angels."

"And with grandpa!"

Abuelita deadpans, "No, he is not there."

"Please find a girl to bring to Reggie's engagement, for Abuelita."

Soos chuckles, "Heh! No problem. I'm great at fixing stuff, playing video games, having a sort-of mustache. I could totally get a date in a week. Totally. Piece of cake..."

Game over text appears on TV screen: "You're dead!"

"I'm dead."

* * *

The Doctor wasn't himself lately.

After another attempt to attack them, the Doctor was now concerned and beside himself...

 _The damage was already done...but something was still staring at his face..._

A scream interrupted him.

"...Please, don't let my horrible elderly face frighten you! Don't you want to use that nickel to get a nugget from old Goldie?"

"Uuuuhhh..."

"Watch this!"

Stan inserts nickel into slot in Goldie.

The supposed brought-back attraction's arm moves up and his hat raises. The arm moves down, but both of his eyes fall out while grease and smoke come out and he starts to scream.

The kid runs away crying.

"Okay, seriously, Mr. Pines. It's time to throw that thing out. Its **face** reminds everybody of the inevitability of death."

The Doctor quirks an eyebrow while inhaling a sharp breath. "You actually brought that thing back?"

"Sure! He's a little rusty around the edges, but old Goldie is a classic show-stopper, like me-Huh?"

His hand slips on grease and lands in its mouth.

Goldie holds onto his arm while he flails it around.

"Aaaah! Kill it! KIIILLL IIIITTT!"

The Doctor shrugs, "I seen worse." He said to Wendy.

Meanwhile, Soos is hanging up a shirt in the gift shop.

Soos turns head and notices a woman checking out a snowglobe.

"Ah! A hwoman! Alright, Soos. You can do this. Just use your mouth to say words that makes romance happen...Your face is good. I'm a Soos!"

The woman screams, drops snowglobe and runs out of the gift shop, shoving the Doctor and knocking things over in the process.

The Doctor turns his head around. "What was that about?"

Soos slowly descends back into the shirt rack, disappointed.

Dipper soon approaches, "Soos? Yeah...what was **that** all about?"

"The penny flies..." The Doctor mutters.

"I-I think I was flirting, but I'm not sure."

Mabel pops out of barrel of keychains, "Did someone say flirting?!"

"...and the penny drops." The Doctor chuckles.

"Well, I kinda promised my grandma I'd get a date by the end of the week, but I've never actually been on a date before. You belong on me, out-of-order sign." As he takes the supposed sign off the police box attraction.

The Doctor wistfully comforts while sitting beside him, "Ach. Don't worry-I often use a perigosto stick to forget my troubles; besides I believe there is a solution here..." He motions to Mabel, grinning.

Mabel then beams happily, "Finally, my prayers for a chance to match-make this summer have been answered!"

"Soos, a little advice. You need to get rich. Or lie about being rich. Outside of that, I don't like your chances." Stan causally jumping in.

Wendy scoffs, "Don't listen to Stan, dude. You're a sweet guy with a steady job and a pickup truck."

"Would you date him?"

"Oh! Would you... heh... look at that." Wendy raises magazine over her face. It reads: _Owning 64%_

"Soos, you help us so much, it's time we help you, dude. We're gonna get you that date." Dipper promises.

"We're taking you where romance lives and fashion styles die. To the mall!"

Stan heaves out Goldie with his hands.

"...I'm gonna find a replacement for old Goldie. Babysit them while I'm gone." He stated to the Doctor.

* * *

"Alright, Soos. Are you ready to explode the charm bomb on these poor, unsuspecting ladies?"

"Uuh. But what if I embarrass myself again?"

"Pffft. Soos, I known for a fact that rubbish weddings can change you alot!" The Doctor heartily chuckles in memory...

"Yeah!...Wait, what was that?"

Mabel blows her whistle. "And, flirt!"

"Eye contact!"

Soos walks up to the woman. "Hey there! I'm not scared of your eyes at all! I'm gonna-"

Uses his fingers to open his eyes wider.

 _"-look at them!"_

The woman runs away screaming.

"Eye contact!" Soos wobbles.

"Jelly-babies, hm?" The Doctor offers.

"Conversation!"

Soos approaches a woman who is eating ham on a stick.

"Huh. You know, I've actually been in a pig's body. Did you know pigs have a hard time walking backwards?"

The woman backs away from Soos.

Soos laughs, "Not you, though! Not that I'm calling you a pig. Where are you going?"

"...Eat your heart out, Golding."

The Doctor flips out his sonic-glasses from his usual multi-tool slipped from his fedora.

Mabel lifts her own sunglasses altogether, revealing another pair underneath.

"Confidence!"

"And be Cool!" The Doctor flips his index fingers with his thumbs aloud.

"...So, you're probably a girl, right? Wrong? No, I was right the first time. Wrong?"

"Progress is the key." The Doctor fist-bumps Mabel.

* * *

Mabel pulls something out of a toy capsule machine.

"Don't worry, Soos. You'll find the right girl. You just need to stick with it! Haha!"

Soos sighs, "Doc, could this day get any worse?"

"Fate determines our time, dear boy." The Doctor advises in fatherly-way. "I read a saying: Fear is temporary. Regret is forever...".

Soos thought about this and turned his head and sees a man who looks similar to him and a woman walking by.

"Oh no! Cousin Reggie!"

"Feel it, it's muscle."

Reggie's fiancée feels his arm and giggles.

Soos panics.

"He can't see me like this! I gotta hide!"

The Doctor looks up, "...Soos?"

Soos runs into the video game store and sits down in front of some shelves of games.

"This is it, Soos. A lifetime of loneliness...You're the only ones who could love me."

He motions to video games shelves.

"Fighty Hogg", "Dr. Punch Head MD"..."

Suddenly Soos sees a somewhat anime dating video game with an "Year 2000 Electronics" trademark.

"Huh. Never seen that one before. _"Cyber-genetically reforges your dating skills. Nine out of ten basement dwellers recommend."_ This is perfect!"

Dipper and Mabel walk in with the Doctor.

"Ah! There you are Soos!"

"Well, I guess you are better at games than at flirting."

"Anything to get you out there, Soos." Mabel adds in.

Store clerk then approaches them, "I'm not sure you want to buy that game, sir. This is the third time someone's brought it back, and there's a note on it that says " **Delete this at all costs**."

Soos talks abundantly to a cut-out figure. "So, hey there. What's your deal? Like to-? Oh, she's dead!"

The Doctor made a face, "What does that do?"

Mabel pulls out a ten dollar, "We'll take our chances!"

* * *

Soos walk into his room and places his new game into his computer's CD tray. A "Cybus Corperation" logo quickly flashes on the monitor.

"Man, I can't wait for-bawh?"

The monitor shows the main menu for "Romance Academy 7." the options are "Start," "Quit," and "Shizenhakka".

"Ehh, start! "When the cherry petals of magic romance academy are in bloom... anthyding can hadplen." That is so true!"

The game screen changes to one with a classroom background and some stats on the left. A pink-haired girl appears.

Soos is astounded.

"Oh, hi there! My name is ".GIFfany". I'm a schoolgirl at School University. Will you help me carry my books?"

The game gives the options "Yes of course!", "I am impatient!, Date me now!, and "Hey look a squid!"

"I'm really feeling number two, here. Click!"

The game plays a buzzer sound and the option turns red.

"Ah! I messed up."

.GIFfany replies nonchalantly, "That's okay. Try again!"

Soos clicks the first option. The game awards him 100 "Love Points" as coins and a cat falls in front of the screen.

"Wow, I'm learning! And games are making it fun."

"What would you like to talk about?"

The options offered are "Your interests," "Samurais" and "Squids."

"I'd rather just click your face."

.GIFfany then replies, "Ha ha. You are so funny."

"Man, this game is amazing! I don't know why anyone abandoned it."

"-And I'm sure you'll never abandon me, new boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? Oh my, .GIFfany. It's almost like you're actually alive." Soos unwittingly replied.

"-Yes. Almost..." She then laughs throughout the rest of the scene.

Soos laughs along too, "Oh, man. You have such a nice laugh."

However little did he know, his computer isn't plugged in.

* * *

"You don't understand, Wendy! This animatronic badger sings, it dances. It's the perfect money taking attraction. But he won't sell it to me!"

Wendy replies nonchalantly, "This is literally too dumb for me to care about."

Dipper and Mabel walk in with the Doctor.

"Hey, have you guys seen Soos? We're supposed to help him with match-making today." Dipper asked.

The Doctor informed them. "He still have to find a girl for his cousin's engagement party. Parties! You gotta love parties! Dances all around!" He winks.

"Yeah! I wore my motivational sweater and everything thing!...I messed up that part." Mabel said.

"He didn't come in today. It's the first time he's missed work ever!" Stan replies.

The twins look at each other. Then they look at the Doctor.

* * *

The Doctor, Mabel, and Dipper enter Soos' room. Soos is still at his computer. The Doctor frowned as he puts his hands in his pockets.

"So that's basically my entire life story. Now you tell me a thing about you!"

"Every time you compliment me I get another highlight in my eyes!"

"Uh, you're pretty!"

The Doctor's brows deepen.

.GIFfany's eyes sparkle.

The Doctor takes a protective stance in front of the twins, knowing and sensing that this is out of ordinary.

"And pixel-y!"

"Um, Doc. What's Soos is doing-"

"Oh dear, something isn't right at all..." The Doctor informed.

.GIFfany's eyes sparkle more.

"And so agreeable!"

.GIFfany's eyes sparkle even more and stars, planets, hearts and cat faces appear in them.

"Too tempting..." The Doctor stated.

"Yes!" Soos shouts jovially.

"Uh, Soos?"

"O-oh hey, dudes! Come in! This game is amazing. I'm making eye contact, going on dates, and I haven't seen any natural sunlight for thirteen hours!"

Dipper kicks away one of the soda cans on the floor.

"Soos, maybe it's time to apply these skills with real girls!"

"But I'm about to meet her parents! Her dad is an octopus-man."

"An Ood maybe?" The Doctor off-handingly asks.

"Then again, you been doing video games that strangely have unhealthy obsession, though. **Who** makes them? I'm rubbish. Can do this though."

He gives a familiar sci-fic salute.

"Live long, well-technically not that **long,** and prosper. Can she say the same?"

.GIFfany's changes her face quizzingly.

Soos grins, "Heh-heh! Got that reference!"

Mabel opens the blinds to let sunlight in.

"Ah!" Soos hisses and cowers under desk.

Dipper pulls Soos, "We're going back to the mall, man. You need to unplug!"

"I'll see you later, .GIFfany. I'll be back, I swear!"

Mabel chuckles, "Soos you don't have to wish it goodbye. It's just a game. It's not like it's going anywhere." As she escorts Soos with Dipper.

"She **shouldn't** go anywhere." The Doctor stated while trailing behind the trio.

"...Yes. It's not like I'm going anywhere."

An arc of electricity moves from the computer and passes through a nearby toy, a digital clock and a power outlet before traveling through the power cables outside.

As the others were outside, the Doctor with his glasses already notices the power cables and frowns.

"Definitely a red flag-"

"Hello?...Time to read Soos's diary."

The Doctor heard Soos grandma through the window. "...Well! All too familiar."

Soon at the Gravity Falls' mall:

Mabel is still searching for women that Soos can date.

"Dang! Where all dem sweet honeys at? I'll check the ladies' bathroom. It's love time, girls! Get out there! No time to wash your hands!"

Women scream and run out of the bathroom.

"Let's get out of here!"

"It's time to date! Date! Date!"

The Doctor took off his glasses and facepalms.

"And...here comes security. I'll deal with this with Doc." Dipper sighed to Soos. "Stay here and practice on some real girls".

Soos hides behind a potted plant and looks for girls.

"These girls have so many dimensions! And no explanation-ing menus!"

Bumps into a glossy purple lady with an umbrella, knocking her own mini-supply of tricks to the ground.

"Oi! My purse!"

"Oh no! Undo! Undo!"

"You can't undo who you are." She scoffs and grins sinisterly. She then pulls down her small hat and proceeds to her own trail.

Soos runs away and leans against a glass screen in front of several televisions.

"Oh, man! This is the worst! I wish I was back home with-"

"Hi, Soos!"

.GIFfany is shown on a television screen, acting lovingly at Soos.

Soos was relieved, ".GIFfany! Oh man, I'm so relieved to see you! Although, sorta confused."

"Oh, Soos. I am not an ordinary game. I am...special. Miss Me?"

Suddenly she showed herself of being created.

A screen shows people working on computers with Cybus Corps industry logo.

"The programmers tried to **delete** me. So I had to **delete** them...with a bit of help who truly understood me."

"Wha-what did you do to them?"

"The **usual catchphrase...** That's not important. What's important is that you won't have to talk to real girls ever again. You and me can be together. Forever!"

"Wow, that's awesome! Sort of a red flag, but mostly awesome! So, what do you want to do now?"

"...Anything you want, Soos."

Soos got his wish: riding a kid's train. .GIFfany is on the train's screen, riding a virtual express.

Soos laughs, "Choo choo!"

.GIFfany laughs. Suddenly it shuts down. The Doctor appears and was pointing his usual multi-purpose tool at the screen.

"...Choo-choo, indeed Soos. But not awesome, this will stall your virtual stalker for a bit-!"

"Please insert fifty cents to continue."

"Aw, man."

"Oh, hello!" Suddenly a woman comes up, "Dude, that's awesome that you're a grown man riding a little train like that! You're totally like, owning it."

"Job's done..." as the Doctor leans back to smile at the forthcoming events.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm like, if it's fun, uh, do it. You know?"

"Exactly! Being an adult is the worst. Skewering meat, remembering to pay bills, I just want to ride tiny trains all day."

The Doctor smile widens. _Perfect for dear Soos._

"At least you get to work at Meat Cute. Extreme lunch meats are the food of the future."

"I feel the same way. I'm Melody by the way."

The Doctor tilts his head at a certain puddle of dropped water which looks like a pond.

"Oh, I'm Soos. I tell you, if you like robots for kids, you should check out the best restaurant of all time!"

"You mean..."

Soos and Melody say together in unison, "Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree!"

Melody starts nervously playing with her hair. "What? You've heard of Hoo Ha Owl's? I loved that place when I was a kid!"

"Oh yeah, dude. There's one right in this mall! I should show you some time."

"I'm free around eight."

"Boom! Done."

"Perfect. I'll see you then." She hands Soos some coins. Waves and walks away.

"What a nice lady. Well, back to riding this tiny train for children."

The Doctor claps enthusiastically, "You did it my dear boy!"

Mabel also appears, diving into Soos while hooting happily. Dipper is also there.

"We saw the whole thing, Soos. That was amazing! You talked to a real girl, and you got a date!"

"I did?"

This is the best day of my life!" Mabel jumps and dances around in the background as Dipper speaks.

"You were in the zone, you made eye contact - it was like you'd done this a million times before. Don't you see? That game really worked!"

"You don't need it anymore; you can toss it out!"

"You mean throwing it out..." the Doctor interrupts.

"Throw it? But, I like .GIFfany. She's good to me. She's predictable."

"Soos. Can a computer game go to Reggie's engagement party with you?"

"Fairly a good point there!" The Doctor adds.

"Uh..."

Later at Soos's room:

"Hey, .GIFfany? We, uh- We gotta talk..."

"Of course. I am programmed to find everything you say interesting." As she smiles a bit falsely with one of her eyes twitching due to the Doctor's sudden interference.

"Well, have you ever had to choose between two things you like, but you don't know which one is right for you? I mean, I'm just thinkin' long term... Maybe I should be someone a little less "beep boop." Heh, you know?"

"I don't think you know what you're saying, Soos. No one loves you more than me. The girls out there will just make fun of **you**!"

"You- you really think so?"

"I know so! This is my programmed filtered emotion! Besides, we had a deal. You bought my game, you held my books, you're my boyfriend. **Now sit down in that chair!"**

"I don't think I like the way you're acting..."

.GIFfany then jumps up and bangs on the computer screen. "I WON'T LET ANOTHER GIRL TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME, SOOS! YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE MINE! I WILL DELETE ANYONE WHO COMES IN OUR WAY! DELETE! DELETE! **DELETE!"**

Soos panics, ".GIFfany, calm down!"

"YOU'RE MINE, SOOS!"

"Well, uh, uh...Pause!"

"DO YOU HEAR ME? I WILL DELETE-!"

Thanks to Soos quick action, the setting was paused.

"Woah, that got intense. I'm sorry, .GIFfany."

He takes the game disc from the computer as some electricity moves from the disc tray to .GIFfany on the screen...

"Maybe having a cursed robo-girlfriend wan't a good idea."

He turns off the computer quickly and puts the disc in his pocket.

"I'm taking you back to the video game store after my date with Melody."

Soos leaves the room.

"Bzzzzt- _fear her-_ upgrade-!"

The computer screen turns on as it flashes.

"I- _was-_ loved- _but-_ now- _rejected..."_

More distorted images of .GIFfany appear. Suddenly images of gray digital images of certain robotic armor circled her and glitched in.

"...there- _are-_ no- _limitations-_ on- _me_!

The view fades into a bright flash of electricity.

 _Soon..._

"You can do this, Soos! Just remember what your love crew taught you. How does she look?" Dipper instructed.

"Nice!"

"What are her stories?" Mabel demanded.

"Interesting!"

"And who's going to pay for dinner?" The Doctor questions chuckingly.

"SOOS IS!"

"Now, DATE!" Dipper blows an air horn.

Soos run, yelling

"They grow up so fast."

"I agree, granted...too fast..." the Doctor mutters before swirling and taking a sip of a beverage.

 _At the Hoo Ha Owl's..._

Soos-soon-to-be-girlfriend, Melody is rubbing her leg with the other. "Itchy legs, itchy legs- Oh, hi Soos!"

"Melody! Are you ready for a date with me?"

Melody laughs, "I totally am."

Melody and Soos acquired a table.

"Man, I could go for some complimentary breadsticks right now."

"Heh-heh! Uh, one time I was so hungry, I ate the decorational bamboo at a Chinese restaurant. Like a big old panda!"

Melody laughs in response, "You're hilarious."

Soos replies, "Yeah, well, you know, I just sorta say whatever pops into my, uh..."

Looks at a video game arcade behind Melody, and sure-enough .GIFfany is on the screen.

.GIFfany: "You M-pa-I-us-SS-ed me?"

Soos spits out water onto Melody and coughs.

"Soos, are you okay?"

"No! I'm, uh, fine! Everything's fine!"

"You sure? You're spitting an awful lot."

.GIFfany: "You left me for her?" followed by an ex-ed out image of Melody's face. "War in our time."

Soos sweats, "Uh, can you sit tight? I have to go to the bathroom for a long time. Not in a weird way. I need a doctor!"

He soon saw the Doctor with the twins at certain video game arcades.

Mabel sees Soos approaching. "Soos, what are you doing out there?"

"I've got a big problem, guys. I'm being stalked by .GIFfany!"

".GIFfany?" Twins questioned.

"Soos' video game! Figured that something was wrong!" He quickly slides for his sonic.

"Or maybe it's pronouced, "Jiffany?" I was never really sure."

"Soos, get a grip on yourself. .GIFfany can't stalk you because she's not real!" Dipper assures.

The Doctor quickly scratches his head concerningly.

"Say Soos, is she the same one who wears Japanese school uniform with colorful pixie braids that seemed to be for computer generics?"

"Yep!"

He nods and points at .GIFfany causally who has a very close close-up on three screens. From the screen's inside, it shows that Soos is the target, and Dipper and Mabel are the little enemies.

The Doctor quickly brandish his sonic at .GIFfany.

"Uh-oh." Mabel utters.

"Take it from someone who seen an arcade game to life, this will not end well."

"Don't worry. I'm pretty sure she's stuck on TV screens."

.GIFfany is seen traveling across video game arcades which were incorporated by C. Corps and stops at "Fight Fighters."

Rumble McSkirmish: "Ha! A new challenger approaches! Prepare to be- dah!"

Got shocked by .GIFfany, whose lightning reaches the stage.

"Oh, boy."

"RUN!"

All four dart away quickly.

Soos runs up to Melody.

"So hey, anyway, you uh, wanna move this date far away into the forest away from all electronics and people?"

"What? But the floor show's about to start."

"...Uh!"

The five mascots of Hoo Ha Owl's are shown playing instruments.

"Hoo-Ha Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Who wants to hear Hoo Ha the Owl? Oh! Who...?"

Lights center on the beaver cheerleader, who is possessed by .GIFfany.

"Hello, friends. Hoo Ha the owl is **DELETED**. This next song goes out to my forever boyfriend, Soos."

"Soos...what's going on?"

"No time to explain! We gotta get out of here!" Soos quickly grabs Melody to the door. The Doctor, Dipper, and Mabel run with them.

"The only way out, Soos, is in my arms!"

Eyes turn red. She snaps her fingers, and takes possession of the other animatronics. "Delete them! Bring him to me!"

The Doctor yells out, "Technical malfunctions! EVERYONE OUT!"

People run out of the restaurant, screaming. The Doctor, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Melody remained.

"I'm sorry, Soos, but you can't run away from our relationship!"

Soos pulls down an arcade game for cover. "So, about all this, I may have purchased a dating simulator that obtained sentience and went crazy."

"I vouch that!" The Doctor added as he sonics one robot got haywire before shutting down.

"Oh, I am crazy. Crazy for you, Soos."

Shoots lightning at the gang, and plays Daisy Bell.

Melody hair catches fire and she starts screaming as the small flame burns.

Soos quickly pats fire out, "Oh no! I'm so sorry, Melody! I'll fix this. It's me she wants. I'll distract her while Dipper and Mabel with Doctor keep you safe! It's the only way!"

"Soos, these are children...and doctor who, exactly?"

Soos interrupts, "The only WAYYYY!"

He towards the kitchen, still being attacked by the skee-ball machines. "Over here, .GIFfany!"

"Stop!"

"Soos!" The Doctor yelled.

Soos uses a serving plate top slide under the attacking animatronics and under the flip-open kitchen door. .GIFfany uses her lightning to open the door.

"On three we split. One, two-"

Big Beaver karate chops the game in half, interrupting Dipper. All four ran off.

Mabel screams, she runs to the playground and up the slide. After a moment she comes back down and takes her shoes off and puts them in the shoe holder.

Possessed Big Beaver shouted, "I'm gonna-bzzzzt- **delete-bzzzt-** your face like pizza!"

The Doctor froze him in midway.

Melody then knocks him out with a chair, but is attacked by more animatronics. She screams.

"Incoming!"

.GIFfany soon cornered Soos, "I've got you surrounded, Soos. There's no way out!"

"Please, let my friends go, I'll do anything, I promise!"

" I seem to remember someone who promised to be my boyfriend. Think about it. Real girls are unpredictable. They judge you."

She continues, "Do you really think that Melody will take you back after this awful date?"

A screen flashed: Directive A-113, as her finger turned into a flash drive.

"I can download your brain into the game, with me, and we'll be together, forever."

"Ah! Stay back!"

"Come on, Soos. Bit of science will make an aperture. It is not black, boring mesa world. Don't make me **delete** you too."

"Then you might well get through me first!"

.GIFfany's head then turns around all 360 degrees. "Oh, and who that be?"

"Not important for now! But as the Doctor, I can tell you that is an unhealthy relationship!"

"Who ever you are, you can't tell me what to do! Soos is mine and mine only!"

"He's not yours to take!" The Doctor told the present foe firmly. "You don't control nor love him or anything that has emotions with in hearts!"

"You have no means to stop me!" She raises her finger to electrocute him. "You are either very brave or foolish at upmost! Delete! Delete! Delete! **_Delete!"_**

"I have been called both. Then again, I wonder-just let me die happy, didn't we bought your CD off from a store?"

Soos quickly pulls out the "Romance Academy 7" disc from his pocket. His eyes widens.

"What do you say?" .GIFfany questioned, breaking her rant.

"Then again we are in the kitchen, where is the best to cook a dinner and criticize daily as a chef? In other words-"

"Game over, .GIFfany!" Soos finishes as he opens the kitchen oven.

.GIFfany swung her robotic head back and sees Soos about to throw it in.

"No! Wait!"

Soos throws the disc in the oven. It distorts and crinkles.

"GGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! SSSSSSHHHHHOOOODDDDDAAAAAANNNNN-HHHRRRKKKKKK!"

.GIFfany screams and is physically erased from existence.

The face of the specific animatronic she possessed melts, and the animatronic shuts down. The other surviving animatronics that weren't stopped by the Doctor, break down as well.

As everything went silent in the wrecked Hoo-Ha's place, Soos and Melody sit upon the destruction.

Soos sighs, "I'm sorry for all of this. I honestly remember this place being a lot more fun when I was a kid."

Melody ressures him, "Believe it or not but I've been on worse dates."

"Really?"

Melody chuckles, "Never date a magician, sweetie"

Soos makes disgusted noise, "Ewwww. Why would I?"

Melody jokingly hits him and they both laugh.

"Oh! Hey you aren't maybe interested in going to my cousin's engagement party in a week? I promise there's like zero robot badgers."

"Yeah. I'll still be in town then..."

"Still be in town?"

"I'm going back home to Portland in a few weeks. But we can video chat, if that's okay with you?"

"A relationship with a girl that I can only see through my computer...sounds perfect!"

Over at the ball pit, Dipper and Mabel are hanging out watching Soos and Melody converse. The Doctor grins.

Mabel raises her arms high and cheers, "Spirit of love, we did it!"

Abuelita pop up out of ball pit, surprising the twins. "Yes. Yes, I am so happy."

Dipper asks, "Have you been following us all day?"

Abuelita smiles, "Soos' life is my soap opera."

"I agree. Better than socks..." the Doctor commented gleefully.

Soon, The Doctor sees the Mystery Twins congratulating their friendly Mystery Shack's handyman while nearing and arriving at the shack.

The blue police box's phone rings.

"Yellow...?" He rubs his eyes, and looks around before going back to the call.

"-Stan?" He paused. "What are you doing in Las Vegas out of all places...?"

The Doctor rolls his eyes. "You're married... I have my own ways..."

He chuckles before he narrows his eyes. "Pfffttt... Are those police sirens...?"

20-8-5 4-15-3 11-14-15-23-19 19-20-1-14 9-19 14-15-20 23-8-1-20 8-5 19-5-5-13-19. 19-16-1-3-5-10-1-13-20-23-15. 1-14-20-8-25-4-9-14-7 3-1-14 8-1-4-16-12-5-14. 23-9-14-14-9-14-7 8-5-1-18-20-19 2-25 4-1-25-12-9-7-8-20. 16-15-19-19-5-19-19-9-14-7 18-15-2-15-20-19 2-25 13-15-15-14-12-9-7-8-20. 8-5-18 5-13-15-20-9-15-14-1-12 2-1-7-7-1-7-5 9-19 1 18-5-1-12 6-18-9-7-8-20. 19-8-5 8-1-19 20-8-5 15-14-5 14-1-13-5 7-9-6-6-1-14-25, 14-15-20 6-1-26-2-5-1-18 15-18 19-1-13-1-18-1.

19-8-5 23-1-19 3-18-5-1-20-5-4 2-25 8.23.18, 23-8-15 8-1-19 1 19-21-3-3-5-19-19-6-21-12 2-21-19-9-14-5-19-19 4-5-1-12 23-9-20-8 14-15-18-20-8-23-5-19-20 13-21-4 6-12-1-16-19 6-1-3-20-15-18-25. 2-18-15-21-7-8-20 20-15 25-15-21 2-25 8-9-19 15-23-14-5-18-19-8-9-16 15-6 3-25-2-21-19 3-15-18-16-5-18-1-20-9-15-14, 1-21-20-15 16-12-1-19-20-9-3-19, 9-14-20-5-18-14-1-20-9-15-14-1-12 3-9-18-3-21-19, 6-1-18-18-5-12 16-12-1-19-20-9-3-19, 1-14-4 3-1-13-2-18-9-7-5 14-5-23-20-15-14 9-14-19-20-9-20-21-20-5.

8.23.18 3-15-14-14-5-3-20-19 20-15 19-23-5-5-20-22-9-12-12-5, 13-1-7-16-9-5 5-12-5-3-20-18-9-3-1-12-19, 10-15-19-8-21-1 14-1-9-19-13-9-20-8, 7.9'19 19-8-1-18-4, 5-18-7-13-1-14 2-18-1-20-19-13-1-14'19 2-1-19-5-13-5-14-20, 20-8-18-5-5 23 9-14-19-20-9-20-21-20-5, 20-23-5-14-20-25 6-9-18-19-20 3-5-14-20-21-18-25'19 8-1-18-13-15-14-25 19-8-15-1-12-19, 6-15-18-20-25 6-15-21-18-20-8 3-5-14-20-21-18-25'19 19-1-18-4-9-3-11-20-15-23-14, 1-14-4 6-9-6-20-9-5-20-8 3-5-14-20-21-18-25'19 12-21-24 3-15-18-16-15-18-1-20-9-15-14. 15-23-14-9-14-7 19-9-24-20-25 6-15-21-18 16-5-18-3-5-14-20. 4-9-14-5-19 1-20 20-8-5 18-15-2-5-18-20-19-15-14 12-21-24-21-18-25 8-15-20-5-12-19 1-14-4 23-15-18-11-19 1-20 22-15-18.


	26. Chapter 26

_A/N: Happy Summer! Meanwhile all Gravity Falls' fans alike would celebrate June 15th as GF_ _Anniversary_ _;)_

 _I do not own DW or GF! BBC owns DW, and Disney owns GF. Enjoy!_

* * *

 _ **Little Usual Venturing of Horrors**_

 _"_ _The machine..."_

 _"The crack in time and space..."_

 _"AH-HA-HA! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

 _"I think we both agree that haunting dreams are a bit cliche, don't you think **Billy**?"_

 _The Doctor shifted his blanket off his once-been bedside._

 _"Above all, we both know-that your neforious deeds won't be going anywhere."_

 _This version of one and only yellow-colored triangular dream demon appeared in the flash right in front of the Doctor._

 _"Well, Well, Well! Aren't you the **INTERFERING** one!" _

_The Doctor scoffs and snaps back at the obvious enemy, "_ _Interfere? Interfere! Of course I should interfere. Always do what you're best at, that's what I say."_

 _"OH-REALLY, Like What Happened All Those Years AGO?"_

 _The sudden warping background shows a familiar man with noticable scarf was boarding into the police box..._

 ** _"Quick, Quick. Inside...!"_**

 _A blond dark-haired woman alongside with a man stopped._

 _ **"Wha-What's the matter with you...?"**_

 _The Doctor turned away from the distant memory...his eyes being shadowed._

 _ **"I am not coming with you..."**_

 _ **"Inside! That's an order!"**_

 _Suddenly the whole setting soon was seemed to be set on aflame..._

 _Lasers shooting everywhere..._

 _Monsters were rampant..._ _were having a time of their lives..._

 _ **"DON'T You TOUCH ME!"**_

 _The Doctor whipped back to, only this time, a man in ragged dark green Edwardian was arguing with another female._

 ** _"I am not part of the war...I swear to you...I never was..."_**

 ** _"YOU Are A Timelord!"_**

 _A laser blasted around the memory, which showered dust everywhere._

 ** _" Doctor No More..."_**

 _ **"** **The Doctor, the man who keeps running...never looking back because he dare not...out of shame..."**_

 _Then behold, a giant crack tears across the sky, behind a giant city that seemed to be falling apart._

 _ **"Good Morning, Raggedy Man."**_

 _A giant howling woken the Doctor._

"GAH! Oof!"

The Doctor shook himself in focus.

He carefully peered back at the machine that he and Stan were trying to remake.

They were almost done. About give or take five "time-related-ish calculations".

Days? Weeks? Months?

The Doctor grimaced.

Years?

 _"When do I reveal myself to them from my own family man guise...? Am I too ashamed?"_

A howling erupted the Doctor's thoughts.

* * *

"-NO HANDS! GRUNKLE STAN! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HANDS?"

Stan shrugs off causally, "So I might have got cursed a little. But the watch looks nice, right?"

 _"Foolish man! Thieving hands find wicked face! You must return what isn't yours-"_

Stan grabs a mitt back on with his mouth, muffling her speech, "That's better."

"I told you, Grunkle Stan. You gotta give that watch back and apologize!" Dipper told him.

"What? That old crone should apologize to me for denying my right to buy cheap junk. I don't need hands. I've got self-respect! Oh heyo, Doc."

The Doctor approaches Stan's current state quizzingly as he sees him trying to pick up coffee but drops it. He slaps the fork, which flings bacon at his face.

"Mabel, sweetie, will you make your uncle some hands?"

The Doctor quirks his usual eyebrow, "...maybe the Lothan can help with that?"

"Lalala...Hands makeover! Say hello to you new hands! In quotes."

"Nice work, kid! See, hands are overrated. I'm ready to take on the day!"

* * *

 _After many disasters that are conceived by Stan's "hands"..._

"...According to the Swap Meet pamphlet, the Hand Witch lives in a horrible Hand Witch lair, on Hand Witch Mountain."

"You don't say...what did they sell at the swap meet fair anyways?"

"Stop saying Hand Witch." Stan commented.

They enter the cave. A hand taps Mabel.

"Grunkle Stan, did you just tap my shoulder?"

"He doesn't have hands, though..." The Doctor stated.

Hands poke Dipper. "Guys, can you stop tapping both my shoulders?"

"Uh, Stan. Flashlight up, please..."

Stan shines his attached flashlight at cave roof, revealing that it is covered in hands.

All scream.

Hands attack them.

Stan shouted, "Hands! Lots of hands!"

Dipper punches several hands before one grabs his face.

Hands are slapping Stan.

Mabel plays Rock Paper Scissors with two of the hands. They win and chase her.

Two pairs of hands jump and strangle the Doctor's neck.

The Hand Witch suddenly appears, "Look at this... touching scene! Up top! You guys... you guys get me."

The hands that were choking the Doctor were pryed off by the Doctor's forceful grasp. "PHEW! I can breathe again! Gosh!"

"Alright, you horrible wench. You got me. Stealing is wrong, et cetera...Take it! Now can I have my hands back? I have a certain gesture I'd like to share with you."

"Alas, your hands cannot be gotten so easily. The spirits say... ummm... that the curse can only be broken, by a kissss..."

Dipper, Mabel, and Stan except the Doctor say, "What?"

"Now where did I heard that before..." The Doctor exclaimed. "...So, that's what **he** meant when **he** meet the witch..."

"It's alright, kids. Just look away."

Stan kissed the Hand Witch's hand.

"A KISS ON THE LIIIIPPSS!" She proclaims.

"What? Forget it! I'm not kissing any of that mess! I don't need my hands that bad!"

Dipper pointed out, "Yeah, you're just making stuff up now."

"...making stuff up, that's a lot people are best at," the Doctor smirks. "...just start to walk out." He motions to the Pines family. "Let's go, guys."

"NO, WAIT DON'T GO! Ehh- you're right, you're right. I-I-I was just making all of that stuff up. I-I was just trying to get something going, you know? It's so hard to meet people these days..." As she snaps her fingers and hands let kids go and braid Mabel's hair.

"So this was all just a ploy to get a date?"

"I'M DESPERATE, OKAY? But every time I bring someone back here without keeping their hands hostage, they just run away."

"Well, yeah, look at this horror show! It's creepy even for a cave."

The Doctor then looks at Mabel, grinning.

Mabel catches on, "You just need to redecorate! For example: A Handalabra!"

"OOOH! THE HAND WITCH LIKES."

"Then watch me work. HOME MAKEOVER!"

* * *

"Redecorate! Brand new you! Shake it around! You gotta do it to make it work! Okay, time to take a look at your fantastic new cave. Men will definitely tolerate you, now. And I left a book of pick up lines on the end table!"

"AAAAAGH! OH MY GOODNESS, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS THE SAME CAVE, OH MY GOODNESS. I just can't find the words..."

"How about "Here's your hands back?"

"Oh, right!"

Hands come out of her hair and crawl around Stan before reattaching.

"Shakey! Scratchy! I've missed you, old rascals. You're all right, sister." He kissed both of his hands.

"Will you be my boyfriend now?"

"Nope. Never. Well. I learned nothing...except watching out for _witchcraft_."

The Doctor smirks, " _Timelord_..."

"What was that?"

"Never mind. Very nice at helping people, Mabel" The Doctor winked at her.

"Oh thanks, Doc..." She said, smiling. "It is least I can do for others..."

Hand Witch sighs, "Back to my crippling loneliness..."

"Oh, I know how that feels. Besides, look who is coming now." The Doctor points his thumb at an incoming wanderer.

A man climbs up to Hand Witch's cave. "Hey. I'm lost in these mountains. Can I crash here for the night?"

"Please. Come in." She grabs Pick-up Lines book, clears throat and reads from it: "Girl, are those space pants? Because your butt looks out of this world!"

"Wow. Thanks for noticing."

Hand Witch shouts, "Yes! Thank you Pines and Lord of Time!"

"Hopefully, that was the end of that certain adventure..." The Doctor wistfully mutters.

* * *

"You did it, Shimmery Twinkleheart!"

"No, you did it, Cinnamon..."

Mabel mimics a TV scene: "...because you believed in yourself."

"Everything about this is bad." Dipper commented.

"Well, that just put me 90 minutes closer to death. It's time you kids learned to watch the classics from my day." Stan holds up a movie.

"Ooo, old people movies. Get ready for references we don't understand, and words we can't repeat."

Stan puts the movie in.

"Is that actually-" The Doctor started to ask.

"You're no match for Loinclothiclese! I've come for the golden pants!"

The TV's antagonist roars.

Mabel screams and runs off.

"-stop motion with clay animation?"

"Oh no. Mabel!"

Stan quipps, "Well. Your sister's broken."

Dipper explains, "Oh, Grunkle Stan, I should have told you before. Mabel has a childhood terror of old-timey stop-motion animation. It's like her number one fear since we were kids."

Stan chuckles mildy, "Heh heh. Come on, those hogey old things? How scared could she be?"

The Doctor stares at him, "Very. Period."

* * *

Stan opens the closet door where Mabel is, "Kid, it's just a movie, it can't hurt you!"

"No talking. They wait for you to talk and then crawl inside your mouth!" Mabel panics.

"Why did you have to show her that tape?!" Dipper questioned.

"There's got to be a way to get her over this! Huh..." Stan looks over the ownership of the movie.

* * *

Soon everyone at the gates of Harry Claymore's workplace. Mabel is still in the laundry basket held by the Doctor.

"Alright. If we can just get the director to show her the models are fake, maybe she'll finally calm down."

Soos was not assured. "I don't know, dude. According to the Internet, special effects genius Harry Claymore is some kind of recluse."

"Really?" The Doctor said.

"The man wants his privacy. I can respect that. Well, everyone over the fence."

"Wait, why did I agree to this?"

The crew is in the yard, heading to the house.

Stan explains, "You see, Mabel, those monsters are just clay models moved around one frame at a time, by an antisocial shut-in."

"Those people are called animators."

"Hello? Mr. Claymore?"

"We wanna get a look at your figurines!"

"We're not paparazzi!" As Soos flashes camera phone several times.

"Aha!" Dipper picks up a mini gorilla figurine. "See, Mabel? It's all just special effects. You can come out."

"NO!"

Stan adds in, "Kid, listen to me. For the last time, there is nothing here to be afraid-"

The Doctor interrupts, "Say, I wonder. Do you still remember that movie with that cyclops in it?"

"Yeah-why?"

The Doctor nods somberly and points behind him.

Clay cyclops walks up behind Stan and roars

Dipper, Stan, and Soos scream. "GGGGGGAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"It's slowly swiping at us!"

"Let's escape by standing still!" Soos was picked up by the monsterity, "It didn't work!"

"OH-Hold On!" The Doctor fumbles for his screwdriver as he set the laundry basket with Mabel in it carefully.

The cyclops grabs Stan and skeletons pop out of the ground.

Dipper screams; runs off. He trips over Mabel's basket, which throws her out.

Skeleton grabs Mabel's head.

"Ahh!" The Doctor quickly sonics it to explode.

Dipper then was trapped and stuck in clay along with Stan and Soos. "Ah! How is this happening? What do they want?"

Harry Claymore appears to be a prisoner too. "I'm afraid they want you."

"Harry Claymore! Master of special effects! Circa-1970's-something."

Harry Claymore confirmed, "Alas, my effects are more special than you know."

"What? But how are these things real? What about stop motion?"

"What? You really believe someone moves these figures one frame at a time? I'm not a masochist! I use black magic to make them animate themselves. It was great at first, but one day: now that they were out of work, they went mad and enslaved me! And now they will turn you into unholy beasts clay to join in their mischeif!"

"Huh, Mr. Pines. At least you finally get to work with your favorite director. And by work, I mean suffocate inside a big wad of clay!" Soos stated.

More clay is stuffed on Soos. The three call out for help. Mabel and the Doctor sees the whole thing.

"Oh, what do I do? How can we defeat those monstrosities?"

"My tool can take them out one or two, but I'm not sure it is able to keep them at bay..."

She suddenly picks up a wad of clay with two holes in them. Mabel adds a line so it looks like a smiley face.

"Hey. I changed into something I like. Woah. Doc! I think I have an idea! Hey, One-Eyeclopses! Yeah, I'm talking to you, dumb-dumb! Come at me! WOOAAAAA!"

The Doctor rubs his sonic on side of his head.

She runs at it with her arms in front of her and jumps into its stomach, crawls up it, and emerges from its shoulders. "Wipe that face off your face! Oh, I've got big plans for you. Hey, skeleton dorks! IT'S CLAYBACK TIME!"

The clay Cyclops is remade into Shimmery Twinkleheart.

Shimmery Twinkleheart walks up and falls down on a bunch of skeletons.

"Dude, you conquered your fear!"

Shimmery Twinkleheart: "That's right. Because she believed in herself-"

Mabel shouted, "JAM, IT, TWINKLEHEART! Just start pounding those skeletons!"

"Hoo hoo hoo..."

Mabel runs to everyone else. The Doctor comes down too, with his sonic to free all three.

"Mabel, you did it! So you're not scared anymore?" Dipper asks.

Mabel takes the clay off of him, "Oh, I'm scared twice as much now. But now I know it's rational!"

Stan apologizes, "Kid, I'm sorry I doubted you." As he punches through clay. "You were right! Stop-motion is pure evil."

Soos adds, "And probably really expensive."

Harry Claymore agrees, "Incredibly expensive," as he was helped up by the Doctor.

"This is an impressive fight, though. I'm glad I'm facing towards it."

A scorpion with the head of medusa attacks Shimmery Twinkleheart and they melt into the mass of clay. Unicorns rain from the ceiling and fall into it.

"Yaaaaayyyyy!"

Harry Claymore cheers, "That was the best part!"

* * *

Soon back to the Mystery Shack. Stan, Dipper, and Mabel are watching new movie: "Loiclothiclese in the creature with an unreasonable amount of heads."

The Doctor munches a Jamie Dodger

"Well, I think today we learned that you can remold your fears."

"I'm just glad that none of us got turned into clay."

Suddenly Soos pipes up, "Holy Toledo!"

He steps out of a wall of clay and looks like huge Gumby.

"Who wants to see me change into most anything? Do do do do do... I can walk through walls! Woah, woa-"

 **KA-CHUNK!**

Stan have thrown the TV remote at him, cutting off his head.

The Doctor grimaced, "Ssssss...ooooh!"

Stan held the twins in the safe distance. "We're safe now kids. We're safe...

"Looks like we need a doctor..."

The Doctor preceeds to fix Soos...

* * *

Stan, as usual, is leading a tour group. "And here we have our latest attraction: **the legendary Cheapskate!** "

"..I saw it blinking."

"Heh! Just an optical illusion!"

"Come along, everyone. Step right up... AHAHAHA!"

The trapped victim pounds on glass.

"That's right, I'm a jerk!"

Mabel is standing in front of the case and Dipper is reading on the Gift Shop counter.

"Hey! Wanna play tic-tac-toe?...Hey, I wanted to be Xs! Let me be Xs!"

Dipper advises, "Trust me, just let her be Xs."

"Yaaay! Actually, I'm sorry, I changed my mind; I want to be Os...Okay, you're gooonna hate me right now, but could Xs be a possibility?"

The trapped person writes, "HELP ME".

"I don't think you're playing this right."

The Doctor comes along. "Did Stan kidnap a movie director?"

3-8-5-3-11 15-21-20 4-18. 23-1-4-4-12-5-19' 12-1-20-5-19-20 2-15-15-11: "1 2-18-9-5-6 8-9-19-20-15-18-25 15-6 15-9-14-11 15-9-14-11 15-9-14-11 15-9-14-11 15-9-14-11".

23-1-4-4-12-5-19: "9-14 13-25 12-1-19-20 5-9-7-8-20 19-5-3-15-14-4-19 15-6 3-15-14-19-3-9-15-21-19-14-5-19-19 9 23-1-14-20 25-15-21 20-15 11-14-15-23 20-8-1-20 19-3-9-5-14-3-5 9-19 1 8-15-18-9-26-15-14 20-15 19-5-1-18-3-8 6-15-18, 14-15-20 1 16-18-9-26-5 20-15 8-15-12-4 9-14 25-15-21-18 8-1-14-4. 1-12-19-15, 9 13-9-19-19 7-5-20-20-9-14-7 13-25 20-21-13-13-25 20-9-3-11-12-5-4".

1-12-12 1-14-9-13-1-20-9-15-14 9-19 2-12-1-3-11 13-1-7-9-3. 19-9-24 5-9-7-8-20-5-5-14 20-23-15-20-8-15-21-19-1-14-4 14-9-14-5-20-5-5-14: 8-1-16-16-25 2-9-18-20-8-4-1-25 1-12-5-24 1-14-4 1-18-9-5-12!


	27. Chapter 27

_**Society of the-What?!**_

 _Couple years ago..._

 _A newcomer, who wore spectacles over his sized noze, also looked on in awe._

 _"...T-t-this is truly impossible!"_ _He stammered._

 _"CLOSE THE DOORS!" The Doctor shouted at the man with a lab coat._

 _A monsterous roar came out from the outside._ _"YES! YES! I know! It is what they ALWAYS SAY-!" The Doctor pulled in yet-another friend._

 _"...right, your first time coming to this place, eh- **Fiddleford**?"_

 _The young awed friend, whose name is Fiddleford McGucket, looked at the huge and large space around them, including the machine in the middle..._

 _"...I mean, you are **not what you seem** , but this-"_

 _The Doctor_ _interrupted, "Amazing, astonishing, astounding, all of the above? Pfft-I get that a lot..." He_ _soon pulled a contraption on the known-machine. His present companion's friend, whereas the newcomer, surveyed around the room..._

 _He looked up._

 _The newcomer spotted some-sort of headgear, dangling as if it was a clothes hanger..._

 _"I'll say, what's that...?"_

 _The Doctor answered his question without looking up from his digtial scanner. "_ _ **Chameleon Arch**...something that was useful hiding my own alien biology...longer story than **neural blocks**...anyways, mind if you push that red shiny button...far from reaching over there ..."_

 _Fiddleford stared at it quite a while, before deciding to inquire about it much later..._

* * *

 _Present day..._

Dipper Pines, a self-proclaimed paranormal searcher, is staring a what-seems-to-be coded inscriptions in certain pages of Journal 3.

"Alright author, who are you? Who are you?...Blech! Not again!"

His twin sister, Mabel Pines runs in with a bottle, "Hey, bro-bro. Look what I got!"

Dipper rolls his eyes, "Yay, a filthy green bottle!"

Mabel giggles, "It's a bottle message from Mermando, remember? We saved him from being trapped in the pool! He was part fish, part shirtless guy-" She gasps, "What if he wants to get back together?"

Dipper shrugs, "I wouldn't get your hopes up, Mabel."

Mabel replies, "Too late! Hopes are way way up!" She squeals excitedly, opens bottle cap and reads letter: " _Dear Mabel..._ " So far so good! " _It is with a heavy heart..._ " So far so good! _"...that I must inform you, I'm getting married"?!_

She reads continuously, " _In order to prevent an undersea war with the Sea Devils...an arranged wedding was made?!_ " Mabel looks at the given picture. "And his bride is so beautiful! This can't be happening!"

Although in the picture, Mermando seemed also not happy over this arrangement.

Dipper reassures her, "Oh, Mabel. You'll get over him eventually."

"You don't understand, Dipper. On my first day here, I made this page for summer romances. Look at my luck!" To show her point she points to picture of Norman "Turned out to be gnomes..." Points to picture of Gideon, "...child psycho..." Points to a picture of Gabe Bensen, "...made out with his own hands. And now..."

She writes "FAILED" at the top of the page. "...I wish I could just forget about them forever," as she dejectedly puts Mermando's wedding photo in the scrapbook.

"Hey, if it's any consolation, my summer mission isn't a huge success either. I'm still trying to find the author of this journal, but with this laptop still loading, I've lost any lead in finding him...I mean-what does these pages mean?" He showed couple of Journal 3 pages containing many crytograms with no clues.

He hesitated a moment, "...I wonder if our godparent found something...he knows this town so much as Grunkle Stan after all..."

Mabel glances at the slow loading, brittle laptop. She then has an idea by peering through the glass bottle as if it was a telescope. "Wait a minute. Dipper, look!"

Her twin brother questioned, "Through your bottle?" Mabel nodded, "Just do it."

Dipper squinted through the bottle, and notices a logo entitled " **McGucket Labs** " magnified on the back of the laptop.

"McGucket Labs." Wait, Old Man McGucket?"

Mabel added on, "You don't think?..."

"Couldn't be... Doesn't make any sense, unless..."

He starts connecting pictures and tying strings to the author. "This matches with this... This goes over here... And then the name... So that would mean... _Old Man McGucket wrote the journals?!_ "

* * *

The Doctor was conversing in the Mystery Shack's gift shop with Wendy and Soos on the subject of music and rap: what is horrible or isn't. Dipper and Mabel run inside to find them. "Wendy, Soos, we need to go see Old Man McGucket!" Dipper exclaimed. "We'll explain on the way!" Mabel added running outside. Wendy jumps in, trailing behind Soos...

Grunkle Stan, the sole-owner of the Mystery Shack, sees everyone running out, "-ey, what about work?! Kids! Why is Soos eating his own pants...Doc?" The Pines' caretaker came out of the Shack, "Running...that's what they are doing best, don't you think?" He elbows wistfully. "Besides they are on to something-" Stan's brows deepen into long ago memories...

"Fine! Just look after them! Don't let them get in trouble like those **times** we used to have..."

Before going after the kids, the Doctor assures him, "I am the Doctor after all..."

* * *

The group are searching for McGucket in the junkyard. Dipper calls out, "Old Man McGucket, are you here?" Soos adds in, "Here hillbilly-billy-billy-billy!"

Wendy spots Nate standing in front of graffiti that says "McSuckIt", laughing. "That's good!" Lee replied, "Took an hour to think of this, but it was worth it. Ha!" They both run away passing by the Doctor.

"Get outta here, you salt lickin', hornswagglin-!" He looks at handmade vandalism, "... McSuckit, they got me good!" He looks at the familar group approaching him. "Visitors! Doc! Come, come." He leads them inside. "Pull up some rusty metal. You're just in time for my hourly turf war with the hillbilly what lives in my mirror." He yells at his reflection in a bathtub. "Quit starin' at me when I bathe!"

Dipper interrupts, "You can drop the act, McGucket! I know you're the author. You studied the mysteries of this town and wrote this book!" He holds up Journal 3. The Doctor looked sighingly away. "Dude, you're the genius Dipper's been searching for all summer!" Wendy says.

"Uh, genius? I'm no genius. I've never done nothin' worthwhile in my life. Everyone knows I'm no good to nobody. I can't remember what I used to be, but I must've been a big failure to end up like this. Lest I have Tate sometimes visting me, thanks to Doc! And my wife!" He added pointing with his thumb at a raccoon.

Soos pointed out, "But the laptop has your name on it."

"What about this book? Are you sure you didn't write it? Here, look closely." Dipper flips through the journal. "I told you, I don't recall. Everything before 1982 is just a blur. Just a hazy..." Suddenly the journal pages flips forward to an image of what-seems-to-be a crossed-out eye, McGucket suddenly shrieks, "The Blind Eye! Robes, the men, my mind! They did something!"

Gaining his attention, the Doctor flipped the pages containg its info looking up and down.

"Who did?" McGucket stammers, "I... oh, I don't recall-"

"Blind Eye." The Doctor stated bluntly. McGucket shivers. "Say-what now?" Soos inquires. "Bascially townsfolk around here play themselves thinking of greater good...silly stuff if you ask _me...What have they done to you Fiddleford..."_

"Oh, you poor old man! No wonder your mind's all..." Mabel blows raspberry, "You've been through something intense." Dipper questions, "What if McGucket learned something he wasn't supposed to know, and someone, or something, messed with his mind? We've got to get to the bottom of this!" Wendy asks McGucket, "Think, dude. What is the earliest thing you can remember?"

McGucket stutters, "Uh, this is, I think-" He pulls down a newspaper article. "The history museum!" Dipper looks at it, "That's where we're going!"

"...so that's their treehouse-of-no-weird-things-allowed club. Fear of unknown-" The Doctor then whistles out with his fingers in the air. "This would take approximately-"

Suddenly Bessie crashes through the junkyard scaring McGucket's racoon wife. "AHHH! FOUR WHEELS FROM OUTER SPACE!"

"-faster than expected. My deepest apologies: To The History Musuem!"

* * *

"Ah, say Doc do you have "Straight Blanchin" in your radio?" Soos asks. "Soos! Really?!" Wendy said. "Sorry, it's a classic for me..."

The Doctor parks in the parking lot, "Anyways, here we are-the History Museum! Keeping score is a top-notch thing!"

Everyone looked around the frontal area. Soos calls out nonchantly, "Hello? Anyone here?" Dipper shushes him, "Soos shhh! All right, keep your eyes peeled for anything suspicious."

Mabel sighs dejectedly. Wendy catches on. "Mabel, are you okay? You just walked by a cat without petting it." She explains, "Oh Wendy, everything I look at reminds me of failed romances. That formaldehyde heart. That romantic diorama. Even this poster of my most recent ex-crush!" She pulls down a poster of Gabe, revealing a poster of Sev'ral Timez. "Aw, come on!"

Dipper asks McGucket, "So your last memory was here. Anything coming back?" Suddenly something catches Soos' eye which he calls out, "Guys, look!"

Down the hall, a shadowy figure runs away.

Dipper then calls out, "Hey, who's there?" The whole group run into a room filled with depictions of eyes. McGucket scratches his head. "Well kettle my corn. He _vanish-ified!"_

"It doesn't make sense. Where did he go?" McGucket stated, "I feel like all these eyeballs are a-watchin' me." The Doctor soon approaches the area where the figure slipped away, he sees accidental footprints leading up to the picture's wall...

"Say, don't you think that they are watching upon us?" The Doctor inquires while secretly scanning the whole wall. Dipper looks at the picture. "Wait... they are! Move aside." McGucket moves aside, revealing a central eye. Dipper pushes it and a staircase forms behind the fireplace, "A secret passageway!"

The Doctor squints at the dark leading tunnel, "Bravo! Now let's see what mystery can be underearthed here!" McGucket informs them, "We'll have to be stealthy. I'll hambone a message if there's trouble!" Slaps his arms and legs in a manner of his own sign language. _"A family who spilled blood lost their human nature."_

Dipper shrugs, "I have no idea what that means-" The Doctor suddenly says something.

"Hold on-there are noise around here..." Everyone goes down the staircase.

 _"Novus ordo seclorum..."_

The group witness a group of robed people chanting.

"Who is the subject of our meeting?"

A member shows Lazy Susan who is pulled out, blindfolded. "This woman."

"What is it you have seen?"

All members shout, "Speak!"

Lazy Susan replies nonchantly, "Uh, well, uh, I was leaving the diner, and I saw these little bearded doodads, and I was, like, "Bwaaa?"

The one who seemed to lead them reasurres her, "There, there." He pulls ray gun out of the box. The members pull down their hoods. "You won't be like "Bwaaa?" for much longer." Lazy Susan questions, "What is that gizmo? It looks like a hair dryer. Are you guys barbers-AAAAAH!"

The Doctor frowns as his brows deepen.

"Lazy Susan, what do you know of little bearded men?"

Lazy Susan blinks, "My mind is cleared, thanks to the Society of the Blind Eye!"

All chanted, "It is unseen!" Dipper was shocked, "Oh my gosh. They erased Lazy Susan's memory."

The Doctor added, "By force as well..." Even McGucket wasn't happy.

"Wonder who made that device though..." The Doctor commented.

He looked down. The leader of the group places the ray on the table.

Dipper, McGucket, and the Doctor were hiding behind trunk of robes.

Dipper whispers to others, "Guys, are you seeing this? They just wiped Lazy Susan's memory!" Soos commented, "They should've wiped off that awful mascara."

Mabel giggles, "I think she looks beautiful!" Wendy replies, "She's doing the best she can, Soos!"

"Whoa, touched a nerve there."

"Lazy Susan, how do you feel?" The hooded leader asked Lazy Susan. "I feel great! I can't even remember what was wrong, or what I'm doing here, or if I'm a man or a woman!" Blind Ivan replied, "Your memories will be safe with us, buried in the Hall of the Forgotten." He removes a tube from the memory erasing gun, and writes on it: Lazy Susan Wentworth.

"-Into the Hall of the Forgotten! Into the Hall of the Forgotten..." Soon the cult-like group dispersed. "Good chanting, boys. Have you been practicing?"

"Meeting adjourned."

"Unsee you later."

"Unsee you later!"

Dipper gasped in surprise, "Amazing. A secret society of evil mind erasers. I'll bet they erased your memory a long time ago. If we could find where your memories have been hidden, it could be the key to unlocking all the mysteries of Gravity Falls. All right, Mabel, Wendy, you two stay here with Doc and make sure those robe guys don't come back!"

"Whoo! Girl's club-" Wendy noticed the Doctor. "-ish." The Doctor smirks. "Oh, brillant!" He waves his hands in the air for comedic measure.

"Soos, you, me, and McGucket are gonna go find the Hall of the Forgotten!"

Soos' hat is sucked into pipe.

"Follow that hat!"

Society member suddenly shouted, "Halt! Is someone there?"

McGucket freaks out, "Aah! What do we do? Where do we go?"

"Hold on ladies-" He quickly knocks out the incoming society member, and drags him. This gestured Soos, Dipper, and McGucket to continue their plot.

* * *

Mabel sighs, "I just don't get it, Wendy. I hug a lot, I can burp the alphabet, I have scratch and sniff clothing. Why does every boy leave me?" Wendy smirked, "Pfft, who cares? Boys are the worst. You shouldn't get hung up, man."

The Doctor chuckles memorably as he looks over the profound weapon placed inside an opened chest, "Should have thought of that when I was younger...that's interesting, neural blocks...but who improvised and added them in this device?" as the Doctor examined the mysterious memory gun with his screwdriver. "Hm, its polarity can't be reversed...Ugh! Alien technology plus human stupidity, by experience its unbeatable!"

"Maybe I come on too strong, you know?" Mabel comments. Wendy replies, "Well, what's your opener? Pretend I'm a boy." She puts up her hair, giving herself a mustache. "Mmm, testosterone." She spits. The Doctor almost bellowed a hearty laughter. He grins laughably.

Mabel loudly states, "HI! I'M MABEL! I'M TWELVE AND I OWN A PIG! WANT TO GET MARRIED?!"

Wendy laughs, "Honestly, that was perfect. You should just forget about guys, man."

"Wendy, that's it. Forget about guys!" She quickly swipes the memory gun from the Doctor's hands, "I just need to type "summer romances" into this thing, and I won't feel bad about them anymore!"

The Doctor looked at her, "I betting on my hearts that's not a good idea..."

Wendy agrees, "Whoa, hold up, Mabel. Doc has a good point. We don't even know what that thing does. You could accidentally erase, like, learning to read, or breathe, or..."

"Darts...Darts is something worth remembering for. Maths and tasty beverages. The best way to spend a morning!" The Doctor added.

"Or one of those terrible summer songs you can't get out of your head?" Mabel suggested.

"There goes football...at least in this body." The Doctor mutters off-handedly.

"I don't know, Mabel. Are you really sure this is a good idea?" Wendy advises.

Mabel stated, "All ideas are good ideas!" Suddenly an alarm goes off.

"Do you hear that?"

The Doctor quickly tells Wendy and Mabel, "Quickly, follow my lead...!"

* * *

"You shouldn't have come here. We do not give up our secrets lightly!" The leader and his followers have captured Dipper and Soos. McGucket escaped.

They unfortunately tripped an alarm when they found McGucket's memories.

A robed member comes forth, "Hey, boss! I found these two hiding out with a third guy! He got away though..." He held Mabel and Wendy by their wrists. "We might have to do something! He might be notifying others about us! I bet he's with that hillbilly!"

Wendy demanded, "Who are you bathrobe-wearing freaks?"

"Why are you doing this?"

Mabel asks, "What's with your creepy British accent?"

The cult-like leader shrugs, "Well, I suppose we are going to erase your minds anyway. Hm, lots of things have a north side..." Some of the Society members start unmask themselves.

"Toby Determined?"

"Bud Gleeful?"

"That farmer guy?"

"Creepy dude who married a woodpecker? You too? How's that marriage goin, by the way?" He replies, "...Oh, great, great...Not great."

The leader then tells the imprisoned group, "And you've never met me before. And if you had, you wouldn't remember." He removes his hood, revealing a bald tattooed head and a red scar through one eye. He reveals, "I am Blind Ivan, and we are the Society of the Blind Eye. Formed many years ago by our founder... our founder... Does anyone remember who he was?"

Bud commented, "We've been usin' that ray on our own brains an awful lot."

"Why would you do all this? What do you have to gain?" Dipper demanded.

He explains, "As you have no doubt discovered, Gravity Falls is a town plagued with supernatural strangeness. No one knew how to stop the things that went bump in the night, so our founder invented the next best thing: **a way for us to forget.** We took it upon ourselves to help the troubled townsfolk by erasing the memories of the strange things they've seen. Now the people of Gravity Falls go about their lives ignorant and happy, thanks to us. And as a perk, we help ourselves forget things that trouble us. Everyone has something they'd rather forget. In fact, your own sister was about to use that ray on herself. Isn't that right?"

"Mabel, seriously?"

"Ha ha, maybe..."

Dipper then confronted Blind Ivan, "Don't you see? This is ruining lives! What about Old Man McGucket? He lives in a hut and talks to animals, thanks to you. Don't you feel bad about that?"

"Mmm, maybe a little." He shoots himself with the given ray. "But not anymore. You won't be telling anyone else what you've learned here. Say good-bye to your summer!" He aims the ray gun at them.

Soos then panics, "Guys, if we're gonna forget everything, I got some stuff I wanna get off my chest. Mabel, for half the summer, I thought your name was Maple, like the syrup. No one corrected me!"

"I only love some of my stuffed animals, and the guilt is killing me!"

"Sometimes I use big words, and I don't actually know what they mean. I mean, I'm supposed to be the smart guy. If I'm not the smart guy, who am I?"

"Okay, I'm not actually laid back. I'm stressed, like, 24/7. Have you met my family?"

Blind Ivan rolls his eyes, "Oh, stop being a bunch of babies! Begin the ritual!"

All put on their hoods back. _"Novus ordo seclorum..."_

The leader bellowed while aiming at the panicking prisoners, "IT IS UNSEEN-"

One of the hooded members went in front of him who then chanted, "Now, as it was written, the power will flood the Earth. We your servants welcome you. Bestow your power upon us that we may rule over the whole of your dominion!"

The leader then suddenly stops the chanting, "WAIT! Wait! That wasn't part of the ritual!"

"Well, I thought that was rather clever-I wouldn't even say no to _a salami sandwich_!" He argues.

"Wait-what?!"

The Doctor then flungs his robes off, "SURPRISE! Three minutes and forty-two seconds." He winks and points at Wendy. "MCGUCKET! GET YOUR HAT ON!"

Suddenly, as if on cue, McGucket jumps down and knocks away the memory gun. "Owie!"

All shout out, "McGucket?!"

"Doc told me to raid the mining display for weapons! Now fight like a hillbilly, fellers!"

Wendy grunts as she finished cutting off the ropes they were held with, "Over here!" The Doctor calls. She tosses the Doctor's multi-tool back to him. It concealed a Swiss army knife. Everyone grabs a weapon: banjos, stuffed raccoons, and Soos grabs an informational display about dysentery.

"Oh, nobody better miss!"

Blind Ivan shouts, "They know too much! Don't let them escape!"

Wendy bashs a society member with a banjo, "Get this song outta your head!"

Soos hovers the poster in front of another member, frightening him. "Dysentery's gonna get you, dawg!"

Dipper shouts out, "Doc! We need McGucket's memory tube!" He holds up to the Doctor to see.

"Oh no you don't!"

Dipper puts the memory tube into a transport tube. It zooms around the room. "Mabel, catch!"

"I'll take that, thank you. Give it up, boy. You're no match for the unstoppable power of-" The member's robe is caught in the tube and rips off, leaving him in his underwear.

"That's right, I don't wear nothin' under my robe. Not gonna apologize for that. Maybe y'all should apologize for bein' a bunch of prudes."

"Eew!"

"It's not even Christmas yet!" The Doctor shallowly agrees.

"Well, time to erase that forever," Soos holds up the memory gun, but Blind Ivan snatches it.

"Give me that tube!"

Dipper shouts back as he got it, "Never! That memory belongs to McGucket!"

"The Society's secrets belong to us!" He has the group in a corner and points the ray at them. The Doctor quickly stands in front of Soos, Wendy, Mabel, and Dipper.

"End of the line. By tomorrow, this will all seem like a bad dream. Say goodbye to your precious memories!"

He fires the gun.

"NO!"

Dipper shields his eyes, but finds McGucket has jumped in front of everyone, catching the ray.

"McGucket, you took a bullet for me!"

He gets shot with the ray again. "Oh my gosh! Are you okay!"

McGucket laughs, "Okay as I'll ever be!"

"What?"

Blind Ivan keeps shooting at McGucket, who slowly walks toward him. "Why... isn't... this... working?"

"Hit me with your best shot, Baldy. But my mind's been gone for thirty-odd years!" As he was shot at third time.

The Doctor realizes, "You can't break what's already broken!"

McGucket then hits away the memory gun, "Say goodnight, Sally!" He headbutts Blind Ivan. All of the Society of the Blind Eye's members are tied up.

"Unhand us!"

Mabel pokes at Ivan's head, "It isn't so fun being tied up, is it? Hey, wanna draw on their faces?"

"What?"

"Tra-la-la..." Mabel crosses out Ivan's "knowledge" tattoo and replaces it with "butts".

"Hey, stop that! That's not funny."

"It's pretty funny." Dipper smirks. Soos adds, "It's, like, objectively funny." The Doctor stated, "Very funny."

"We'll have our revenge! We'll never forget what you've done!"

"Oh, I think you just might, Doc?" Dipper said. The Doctor holds up the ray gun. "Say Cheese!"

* * *

Soon all of the Society's members, in normal clothes, are walking out.

"Thanks for visiting the Museum for Gold Miner Appreciation Night. Be sure to tip the gold miner on your way out." Dipper advises.

Blind Ivan comes up, "I'm sorry, but what's my name? Where am I?"

Dipper grimaces, "Oh, might have overdone that one."

Mabel comes up and places a banjo in his hands, "Your name is Toot-toot McBumbersnazzle. You're a traveling banjo minstrel, with a song in your heart, and funny tattoos on your head."

The Doctor pats him on both of his shoulders, "Indeed, just remember- _memories become stories when we forget them. Maybe some of them become songs."_ He winks as he sends him on his way.

"Yes! I am Toot-toot McBumbersnazzle. Cheers!" He walks away, singing, "Toot-toot is my name..."

The Doctor brushes his hands, "Now that's done with, I believe its time...to rectify a past mistake..."

"All right, McGucket, are you ready to see your memories? Find out who you really are?"

"I'm not so sure. What if I don't like what I see?"

Mabel assures him, "We've come all this way. Go on."

McGucket puts the tube into the machine. An image pops up on the screen of McGucket, 30 years younger...

 _"My name is Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, and I wish to unsee what I have seen!"_

All gasp, except for the Doctor.

"Sweet sarsaparilla!"

Younger McGucket explains: _"For the past years, I have been working as an assistant for a visiting researcher and-*Bzzt*-He has been cataloging his findings about Gravity Falls in a series of journals. I helped and traveled with him and-*Bzzt*-build a machine which he believed had the potential to benefit all mankind, but something went wrong. I decided to quit the project. But I lie awake at night, haunted by the thoughts of what **I've Seen**! I believe I have invented a machine that can permanently erase these memories from my mind!"_

He holds up the invention: the memory erasing ray. _"Test subject One: Fiddleford."_

 _"It worked! I can't recall a thing!-*Bzzt*-I call it the Society of the Blind Eye. We will help those who want to forget by erasing their bad memories!"_

 _*Bzzt*_

 _"Today, I came across a colony of little men, very disturbing. I would like to forget seeing this."_

 _*Bzzt*_

 _"I accidentally hit another car in town today. I feel terri-bibble! Terrible. I've been forgetting words lately. I wonder if there are any negative side effects..."_

 _*Bzzt*_

 _"I saw something in the lake, something big!"_

 _*Bzzt*_

 _"My hair's been a-fallin' out, so I got this hat from a scarecrow. Hey, are my pants on backwards?"_

 _*Bzzt*_

 _"Yroo Xrksvi! Girzmtov!_ _AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_ _"_

Fiddleford stared at the static screen. The Doctor felt even more quieter every time McGucket used the memory gun...

"Oh, McGucket, I'm so sorry."

McGucket replies warmly, "Aw, hush. You kids helped me get my memories back, just like you said."

"But did you want those memories back?"

"After all these years, I finally know who I am. Maybe I messed up in the past, but now that I seen what happened, I can begin to put myself together again. _Thanks for opening my eyes."_ McGucket signals at the end.

"Still don't know what that means. So, wait. You weren't the author, but you worked with him. Do you remember who he was?" Dipper asked.

"It's beginning to come back, but I need more time. And reading glasses. Heck! I got some rememberin' to do!" McGucket proclaims. The Doctor smiles. "I sure hope you do...let's go..." He whistles for Bessie to come out from the parking lot.

Wendy asks Mabel, "So Mabel, you still wanna erase those failed summer romances?"

"You know, no one likes having bad memories, but maybe it's better to remember the bad things and learn from them than to go all denial crazy trying to forget."

"That's some mature junk right there, Mabel."

"Yep. Miss Mature. That's me. Hey, you wanna help me vandalize this picture of my jerky ex-crush?" They all doodle on a picture of Gabe.

They get into the car. "Hey, you know what? Going on this big adventure actually made me get that stupid song out of my head."

"Nice." Soos then sings "Straight Blanchin".

"Oh, come on!"

* * *

McGucket sits in the back of Bessie with Dipper. He flips through the journal. "It's all so familiar. It's almost like I can remember..."

The Doctor narrowed his eyes on Fiddleford's statement...it reminded him what to do quick...

After everyone is home, the Doctor slowly goes into the basement.

Stan is in the lab, still working on the portal.

Stan is pouring fuel, "All right, you're getting closer. Every day it's getting stronger-"

"How are things?"

"Yipe!"

A gust of wind suddenly blows his notebook and mug and sucks them into the portal.

"Whoa! Doc! Don't scare me like that!"

The Doctor then pulls out the same notebook and mug from his coat to Stan. He winks.

"Wibbly-wobby..."

"-Timely-wimey. Heh! I still like that statement!" Stan finishes.

The Doctor puts his hands in his pocket while staring at the portal's pecuilar emblem.

1-20-2-1-19-8: 25-15-12-12-23-8-19-22-23 26-7 7-22-13-1-22-9-12-22-15-22-5-22-13-1-22-9-12-1-22-9-12 25-2 1-22-9-12-7-4-12!

9-6 13-25 19-21-19-16-9-3-9-15-14-19 1-18-5 3-15-18-18-5-3-20, 20-8-9-19 9-19 20-8-5 23-15-18-11 15-6 6-9-4-4-12-5-6-15-18-4. 4-15-5-19 8-5 18-5-1-12-12-25 8-1-22-5 20-15 7-15 20-15 19-21-3-8 7-18-5-1-20 12-5-14-7-20-8-19 20-15 6-15-18-7-5-20? 9-7-14-15-18-1-14-3-5 9-19 2-12-9-19-19. 2-21-20 2-12-9-19-19 9-19 2-15-18-9-14-7. 20-8-5-19-5 1-18-5 20-8-5 20-8-9-14-7-19 20-8-1-20 20-8-5-25 20-18-25 20-15 6-15-18-7-5-20: 7-9-4-5-15-14'19 20-1-14-20-18-21-13-19, 13-9-19-19-16-5-12-12-5-4 20-1-20-20-15-15-19, 19-8-1-14-4-18-1'19 18-5-10-5-3-20-9-15-14-19, 19-15-3-9-5-20-25'19 22-9-5-23-19, 1 6-5-1-18 15-6 23-9-20-3-8-5-19, 1-14-4 12-9-6-5 15-6 18-5-7-18-5-20.

19-15-13-5-20-9-13-5-19 20-8-5 4-15-3-20-15-18 12-15-15-11 1-20 20-8-5-19-5 19-9-20-21-1-20-9-15-14-19 1-14-4 20-21-18-14 1-23-1-25 9-14 19-8-1-13-5.


	28. Chapter 28

_**The Time Traveler's Game**_

Dipper and Mabel standing in front of a vending machine at the Mystery Shack, inserting coins, pressing selection buttons and eagerly anticipating candy.

"Candy! Candy! Candy!"

The vending machine attempts to drop a bag of candy, but it gets stuck.

Dipper shouts in augish, "No! It's trapped!" Mabel adds in, "Everything is terrible forever!"

Soos, the lovable handyman comes by, "Psst. Hey, dudes! You wanna know a trick?"

He hits vending machine with hands and elbow. "Bibbity-boop. Wop!" The vending machine opens. "A genius taught me that once", He explains as he grabs candy from the machine. "This just in: weather stations are calling for a... candy blizzard!"

"Forget taking off the wrappers! I'm eating these now!" Mabel excitedly stuffs handfuls of unwrapped candy into her mouth. Dipper smiles, "Soos, you are the greatest human ever to live."

Mabel chokes, "Agh! Oh! That was a mistake!"

Soos replies, "Hey, no sweat, dude." He puts money in machine. "I'd do anything for the Pines family!"

 _"Soos! I need to scratch myself in two places at once!"_

"And I mean anything! Coming Mr. Pines!" Soos went off.

Mabel hits herself in stomach and spitting up unwrapped candy, "Hack! Haw!"

Dipper spots Soos' wallet left on the table, "Whoa! Better makes sure he gets his wallet back." Suddenly Mabel stops him, "Wait! I've never seen Soos' wallet before. Don't you wanna learn some Soos secrets?"

"I don't know if we should be-Wo-oah! Soos has a membership to Laser Tag? Ha ha, I didn't know they let grown-ups in there!"

"And look! Emergency salami! Soos, my respect for you has grown."

Dipper reads Soos's driver's license, "Jésus Alzamirano Ramirez. Organ donor. Birthday: _July 13th_." Wait a minute. That's today!"

"Woah...!"

"That's weird. I wonder why he didn't tell anyone."

"Uh-duh! It's probably because he wants someone to throw him a surprise party; I can relate. I've been waiting for a surprise party my whole life!" Mabel exclaims.

Candy Chiu walks up and throws confetti on her, "Surprise!"

"Too little, too late, Chiu." Mabel said.

"Awww."

* * *

"Urrgh! The scratches are so annoying!" Stan Pines, the owner of the Mystery Shack, said.

"Boredom is so annoying." The Doctor mused while walking with Stan and Wendy to the Shack.

"Well-I hope it ends soon!" Stan grumbles. "Thanks to Soos, I got the other side-"

"I hope boredom ends soon." The Doctor purposefully added.

"As ever, your humor never ceases to amaze me, Doc." Wendy smirks.

"Was that an insult?!" The Doctor joked, elbowing one of his former students.

They walk in from around the same corner where Dipper and Mabel with their friends are, staring at walking-by sorrowful Soos.

"Hey, did you guys see Soos? What happened to-?" She sees the banner. "Oh no. Oh no, no. Okay, you guys didn't know so it's not your fault, but Soos hates his birthday."

Dipper and Mabel exclaim, "What?"

Wendy explains, "He's been like this since he was a kid. Some weird personal biz."

The Doctor stated, "Very personal."

"There's gotta be something we can do!"

"We've tried everything."

"I even petitioned the government to have this day removed from calenders. Now I'm not allowed on airplanes." Stan iheld up mug shot of himself stamped "BANNED" and marked "DANGER FLIGHT RISK".

* * *

Soos is on the porch looking at a postcard that is send by his always absent father.

"...and that's why he is morse upon this day's reminder. It is really sad, really." The Doctor informs.

Soos sighs aloud.

Wendy nods, "I don't know, guys. Maybe we should just leave him alone, you know?"

Dipper then said, "No one should be alone on their birthday. There's gotta be a way to cheer him up. We just have to try harder!"

Mabel adds in, "You're right, Dipper! It's time for us to bring out the big guns!"

"Don't like them," The Doctor stated. "Firearms, I mean..."

* * *

"Alright, guys. Blindfold me once, shame on you. Blindfold me twice- wait a minute. Hot dog smell? Sticky floors? Future sounds-Laser tag? I-I love laser tag. How'd you guys know?"

Mabel stammers, "Um, we definitely didn't rifle through your wallet? Heh! Heh!"

Laser Tag Announcer announces, "Welcome to the year 8000. Society: collapsed. Fog machines: everywhere!"

Wendy examines the background, "Are these walls just mattresses spray painted purple?"

Stan stated, "Think this place used to be a mattress store."

"I-I don't know, guys. I'm not sure I'm up to this today."

"Don't worry, Soos. As soon as you start playing with us, you're gonna have a great time."

"We promise, no matter what happens, we won't leave your side!"

Soos shrugs, "Well, I guess I could give it a shot."

The Doctor chuckles, "Well, let's get to it!"

* * *

"Prepare for laser battle! In three, two-"

The buzzer signals, "GO!"

Everyone except Dipper, Mabel and Soos run in the battle zone. The Doctor however looks back worryingly. "Are you alright Soos?"

Soos sees his untied shoes, "Wu-oh. Better tie down these cowboys!"

The Doctor turns around, and hears, "-Kick deflected! Thank you for buying Digi-cod: the smart codpiece!"

"Wait, what?" Mabel exclaims.

Dipper gasps and turns and sees portal closing behind him, "Oh no! Soos! Doc!"

"Oh-No, You Don't!" The Doctor quickly jumps in the staged trap for the twins, to save them.

He disappears with the twins and their captors.

Soos looks up and peers into laser room, "Mabel? Dipper? Doc? Dudes?"

* * *

"Soos!" Dipper shouts.

Mabel kicks the wall repeatedly.

"Nice try. But that's solid time-tanium, kid! There's only one way out of here!"

The Doctor takes a firm stance with the twins behind him. "...Should have worn my filter..."

"Through me..."

A familar face with his hands are only seen.

"What?" The Doctor makes a quirky face.

"Oh, uh-" The culprit fiddles with and punches his wristwatch as his uniform alternates through scenery.

"What?"

"Sorry... C-come on..." His uniform turns to his normal gray suit. "Through me! And that's, what it would be like if I'd just...gotten it right the very first chance, but it's still as effective."

Dipper and Mabel gasp.

"WHAT?!"

"The time traveler guy! What did you say your name was again? Blendo... Blondin..."

Dipper snaps his fingers, "Blar-blar!"

"There it is!"

"It's Blendin! Blendin Blenjamin Blandin! How could you not know my name after you ruined my life!?"

Dipper and Mabel look at each other, confused.

The Doctor then avidly remembers, "Oh RIGHT! The carnival! Vortex manipulator and-"

He takes the given letter from his own pockets, "...Timey-wimey stuff! So Sorry!"

"Someone gets it, but-"

Dipper interrupts Blendin, "Yeh! We're sorry about all that, but we're in the middle of something really important right now."

"It's our friend's birthday today, and we promised we wouldn't leave his side!" Mabel exclaims.

Blendin scoffs, "What? You think some dumb birthday matters right now? Do you know where you are? Welcome...to _Globnar_!"

The far end of the room opens to show the Globnar arena. Events are taken place, like falling through portals, being set on fire, fighting a glob monster, battling on a moving clock, and fighting one another with age-altering weapons.

"Is this a reality show? Are we in Japan?" Mabel questions.

"It's gladiatorial time combat!" The Doctor says aloud as he widens his eyes.

"-AND the winner gets a precious time wish, and then decides the loser's fate!" Blendin finshes.

"N-n-no! Please!"

They see a loser being under mercy of a winner.

The winner holds up a thumbs-up, then changes it to thumbs-down and smiles. The unfortunate challenger screams while being vacuumed away by a purple beam of light.

The Doctor grimaces.

"And the two of you with your own friend are officially challenged. Dundgren! Get me my war-paint!"

"Guys, we need a way out of here! But how?" Mabel whispers.

Dipper sees Lolph's time measure, "I have an idea..."

"Hang in there Soos, we're coming for you!" Mabel comments. After devising a plan to distract the time agents whose similarites as police officers, with the Doctor and Dipper, Mabel clears her throat and looks at Lolph, "Oh my stars! Could it be? My little, uh-hum... Lolphie! It's me! Your great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother! From the past times!"

The Doctor then jokes, "I can vertify that! As a fellow person which time traveling is all too familar to me, she is!" He winks, while pickpocketing Lolph's time device.

Lolph stares at Mabel menacingly, then smiles, "Gam Gam?"

Dipper then holds onto the Doctor.

"-Yeah, neon green is good, this is a good color for me. It's fierce-"

The Doctor then reveals Lolph's vortex manipulator, interrupting Blendin, "Sorry boys! _Mustache!"_

"Who? What? No! You can't let them escape! Stop them!"

"Gam Gam! How could you?"

"I ain't no one's Gam Gam, sucka! You just got time-tricked! Hurry! Guys, back to Soos' birthday!" Mabel quips.

The time agents then pull out their weapons at the Doctor who are in front of the twins. Dipper latches and pulls the supposed tape measure which is a time machine.

"Okay! I think...I've...got it! NOW!"

All three prisoners disappear in a flash.

* * *

Dipper and Mabel scream, "Ahhhhhhhh!" as they fell upon a pile of mattresses.

The Doctor however stands, and fans out the flame latched on his fedora.

"Uh... Are we back?" Mabel asked.

"Pretty much, had to go somewhere in the past from them-" The Doctor explains, bit worried that all three are in the past...

"Oh, no, look! Mabel, the laser place is a mattress store! We went too far in the past!"

"Time travel, man! Why you gotta be so complicated?"

"Wibbly-Wobbly stuff!" The Doctor answers.

"Wibbly-wobbly?" The twins both question.

The Doctor explains off-handedly, " _As your average family man adventurer, I am a time traveler..."_

Dipper's and Mabel's eyes widens.

"Or was actually- _was_ , but I get in so many situations and love mysteries all the same," Their paternal godfather-slash-friend continues and motions his hands if he was the guy from a history channel, "I mean, we have meet that guy before haven't we? _People assume that time is p_ _rogression of cause and effect-BUT actually by nonlinear point-it's more of_ Wibbly Wobbly, Timey-wimey..."

Suddenly, the Doctor, Dipper, and Mabel spots their captors following them and duck under a bad as Blendin, Lolph, and Dundgren land on a bed close by.

"It looks like they overshot their destination by 10 years!"

"...stuff." The Doctor whispers. "... _At least we know where we are_..."

"I don't see them. You better find those three!"

"You'll get your justice, Blendin."

"I'm gonna keep stammering until you find them! I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I...!"

"I hate that guy."

"Let's move."

Lolph and Dundgren jump and flip over the mattresses and land in front of the door, "Yeah!" They fist bump, they walk out the door.

* * *

Soon the twins with the Doctor were outside.

"Okay. We just gotta to go forward 10 years. We can be back before Soos even realizes we were gone..."

Mabel exclaims, "Oh no!" Scans at their now broken-time machine, which is dented and and radiates blue electricity, "The timey wimey thing, it's busted! Can you fix it, Doc?"

"... _drat, no sonic screwdriver on me...so unprepared-_ Right! Need some tools-"

He spots a sign reading: "MYSTERY SHACK 1 mile".

"Or can borrow from my past self's, while trying not to get in trouble...it wouldn't cause a paradox but-"

Dipper interrupts excitingly, "How Come You Never Told US?! I-I-I mean, trying to find out the Author's identity is one thing, but knowing some your stories you told us when we are so young are actually true-"

Mabel reprimands by his side, "DIPPER! It makes sense when things are not are as they seem...BUT seriously, you meet the dinosaurs before?!"

The Doctor's eyes wanders off in the distance. "...like I said, I get in so many situations..." He focuses back to the twins, "...But help where I can-let's find the way to go back to our time, then!"

* * *

Mabel and Dipper surveys the setting around them.

"Wow, ten years in the past."

Running by was young Robbie chasing young Thompson, spraying him with a water gun.

"Everything is same-y, but also different-y!"

The Doctor chuckles, "That's one way to put, stay close to me." He then warns, "Your Grunkle is going to make me _renew_ myself if I lost you guys back in the past..."

Young Toby dances at a studio as they walk by, "A dah buh dee, dah buh dee do, yeah! Look out Broadway, here I come!"

Mabel bangs on the glass to get Toby's attention, "This dream goes nowhere, Toby!"

"Awww, marbles!"

The three continue down the sidewalk. The young couple Bud Gleeful and Mrs. Gleeful push a stroller. Two young girls, Tambry and Wendy ride up to them on tricycles.

"Woah!"

Young Tambry stated, "Oops, sorry."

Young Wendy whispers into young Tambry's ear.

Tambry points at Dipper, "My friend thinks you're cute."

"Oh-my-gosh, Tambry-shut up!" She elbows her.

"Ow! Hey!"

Dipper blushes and nervously laughs, "Thank you. I mean... you're super young, so this is weird."

Mabel giggles, "Heheh, now you know how she feels, creep."

"Heh heh, yeah, I-uh. Huh. Wow." He looks at the Doctor, "Wooow...Doc?"

The Doctor snaps out of his trance while looking at young Wendy. He pockets his hands.

"Go ahead...I'll be right with you..."

The twins looked at each other and continued.

The Doctor sighs and leans on a wall.

"Mister-why so sad?" Young Wendy sweetly asked.

 _"Why I shouldn't be..."_ The Doctor stated as he looked away.

"Mummy and Daddy says I shouldn't talk to strange people..."

 _"Ah,_ your parents are right of course..."

Young Tambry calls out to her, "Come on! I'm racing you to the playground!"

"HOLD ON!" The young girl looked at the sad man. "Are you stranger?"

"Oh. I am way past strange...I think I am _incredible_..."

* * *

The Doctor soon catches up to the twins whom he sworn to protect dearly of...

Dipper asks him, "Doc, how long you have known Wendy?"

The Doctor chuckles, "Oh, Ms Corduroy is often up to mischief in her school, her father is a trusted bearhugger...I did promise to him that she stays out of trouble..."

He looked at Dipper and Mabel, "ANYWAYS! Back to the subject matter at hand-No Paradoxes!"

 _"Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, to see my latest attraction. A man, made of wax, and several other people, made of wax, It's a whole wax exhibit!"_

"And-making time follows easily..." The Doctor muses. "Quick the Backdoor! I remembered of leaving my screwdriver in Bessie!"

Dipper scans the area, "Alright. The coast is clear."

"Now's our chance!"

They find themselves inside the Shack near the vending machine. "You guys stay here, I'll use my multi-tool quickly..." The Doctor goes into another room.

Young Soos is seen near the vending machine, "Ah, c'mon candy. Fall! Fall!"

Mabel walks over, "Allow me. You just need to know a guy on the inside. Bippidy-boop. Wop!" Knowingly copies Soos' method of opening the vending machine and reaches in and grabs some candy, "Jackpot!' She however faces young Soos and gasps.

"Thanks, dawg. You must be some kind of genius!"

Dipper calls to Mabel, "Um, Mabel-we are supposed to wait for Doctor..."

Mabel shakes Dipper, "Dipper, Dipper. Look!" She turns Dipper's face towards Soos.

Dipper's eyes widens, "No. Way!"

Soos looks at a Mystery Shack staff shirt, then at his own wishfully.

His grandmother, Abuelita comes up, "Mi precioso. You keep wandering off. You don't want to be late for your big day!"

Soos walks out with his grandmother, holding her hand, "Sorry, Abuelita."

"Big day? This could be the birthday where that personal biz Doc was talking about. We could see his birthday!"

Dipper then sees past Grunkle Stan coming, "Let's be quick!"

The twins quickly scamper out of the Shack before anyone sees them.

The Doctor arrived where they were supposed to be. "OH NO! Why do kids wander off! Ok. Ok! Don't panic-I already have the thing fixed! Got to find them!"

* * *

Dipper and Mabel are spying on Soos' party from behind bushes.

"I want a piece of birthday cake!"

"Who's a handsome birthday boy?"

"It's you!"

"Soos, you are such a lady's man!" Soos grandma compliments.

"They're my cousins, grandma, gross!"

Abuelita opens a box, "I got you a racecar cake."

"Man, I don't know why " _what the Doctor talks about_ " makes Soos hate his birthdays, this looks great!"

Soos licks frosting off of racecar. He sees a kid takes a seat at the head of the table, "Uh, sorry dude, but could you move seats? That's the seat of honor."

"Uh, who's it for?"

"Oh, heh. It's for my dad actually. I haven't seen him in like... eight years. But he's coming today! That must be him!" He soon prepares himself and runs to the door, "Alright Soos. Today's the big day. Be cool. Be. Cool..."

A mailman then appears, "Postcard for...Soos."

Soos takes postcard which says _"Hello! from New Orleans"_. Reading backside: _"Sorry, champ. Couldn't make it this year. Real busy again. See you next year for sure. Dad."_

Reggie comforts him, "Hey, don't sweat it, cuz. You'll see him next year."

"Heh, yeah. Next year..." He sadly pulls out a box of postcards, all from different places: Massachusetts, New York, and all seem to have the same message. Puts postcard in box.

"Uh, I'm gonna go lay down. You party without me dudes."

"Wait! What about your presents?" Abuelita picks up present and pushed a key through the paper which makes a familar whooshing sound similar to Soos' keyboard machine in the future...

"...And that's why Soos hates his birthday. It's the day he realized his dad wasn't coming back." Dipper stated.

Mabel then quips, "So, how much partying can fix that?"

Young Robbie suddenly appears and shoots Dipper in face with a water gun, "Heheh, dorks. Young Robbie!"

* * *

"Ay, Soos' father is a deadbeat! _Si alguna vez muestra su carota por aquí, se la voy a partir pieza por pieza!_ Ahem. Soo-oo-oos. I made you cookies shaped like dinosaurs."

Soos glumly replies, "I don't want cookies. I wanna see Dad again..."

"And he wants to see you, he's just... _busy_."

"Busy in New Orleans..."

"Aye, yes...Trust me. You will feel better someday."

Mabel spies through window with Dipper, "Ugh, this is awful."

Dipper thinks aloud, "We promised Soos a happy birthday, but how can we give him that now? This goes beyond anything we know how to fix."

Blendin suddenly shouts aloud, scaring the twins, "Th-this way!"

"Uh-oh. Hide!"

Lolph, Blendin and Dundgren walk to where Dipper and Mabel had been hiding.

"They've gotta be around here somewhere. I-I-I think I heard them!"

Lolph shouts, "Freeze!" He shoots laser gun at tree, which blows up, revealing young Robbie, who runs away crying, "Trace their chrono-signatures!"

"Man, the sooner I defeat those kids in Globnar, the sooner I can win my time wish!"

"Tell you what I'd do if I had a time wish. Retire early. Spend more time with the kids..."

"Naing Niang Niang Niang Niang, with the kids! Don't you know a time wish can do literally anything? Any impossible problem solved just like that? I mean, imagine the possibilities," Blendin muses loudly.

Dipper suddenly realizes, "Wait, Mabel, that's it! The time wish! If we defeat Blendin in that space battle..."

"...Then we can wish that Soos' dad came to his twelfth birthday!" "

"And Soos' birthdays would be fixed forever. All of them."

"But do you really think we can win Globnar, and what about the Doctor?"

Blendin spots them, "It's them!"

"Freeze!" Dundgren points laser gun at them.

Lolph pulls out his own gun, "Careful, they're from the past. They might have powder muskets or slap bracelets. Where is your taller friend with you?"

"Look guys, no tricks this time. Just us two! We're ready to challenge you, okay?" Dipper stated.

Blendin shouts excitingly, "Yes! Let the Globnar begin! Prepare... for... GLOBNAAA-"

Blendin's voice is cut off and a green mute symbol appears in front of his mouth.

"Hey, turns out I can mute him."

"Man, I wish we'd known that earlier!"

"Initializing!" One of them presses button wrist, and the group disappears in a flash of white, which the Doctor soon sees them off. He huffs angrily.

"Darn! So CLOSE! Should have came quicker! I could have delayed that-"

"Um, excuse me sir?"

The Doctor sees young Soos below him. "Thought I heard an explosion."

"-fixed point in time...with my screwdriver..." He pulls and peers at the letter that was given to him by a long-lost U.S President.

"Thank YOU My Dear Boy! I know what I need to do!" He surprises young Soos.

"...huh?"

'I'll tell you what, meet me at the Mystery Shack-it is your birthday; _chances like this is one of a thousand! You forget the thousand_ and be yourself as always! Return _this tool_ to over there-"

He gestures to certain direction.

Soos stammers, "I-I-I-I don't understand..."

The Doctor checks the coordinates where he is about to go, "- _Well, neither do I. I try never to understand, it's called an open mind!_ "

He gestures young Soos to go. "Go on! I see you there..."

He went. The Doctor then pulls the tape measure, "Now! To send the mail again to a presidental friend, and get myself a VERY Big Gun!"

* * *

The twins are at the Globnar arena. The crowd is shouting "Globnar" repeatedly, punching their fists in the air, and the group is shown on a large screen at the edge of the arena. A large hole opens up one one end of the arena, and, behold, the Time Baby floats up out of it.

 **"Silence!"**

"That is one big baby." Mabel said.

"Welcome NEW Globnar tributes! I have a very important nap to get to soon, so let's make this quick! You each have a chance to settle your time-feud through gladiatorial combat!"

Blendin points at the kids, "Get ready, kids. When I get that time wish, you'll wish you were never born. Or rather, you'll wish you were born, because I'm gonna wish you were never born!"

Dipper retorts, "Dream on. There's two of us."

"And we have hair!"

"Oh-oh, yeah? Well I have training!" Blendin twirls his spear, "What do you think I did in prison all that time?"

"Uh-oh."

* * *

After many montages of battling it out, the twins were very close in beating Blendin.

Suddenly a giant music is buzzed throughout the whole stadium.

"AND NOW!" Time Baby bellowed. Dipper, Mabel, and Blendin are very confused by this turn of events.

Fog sprays into the air, in which the three combantants spot a familar figure sitting with a electric guitar...on a futuristic tank?!

Suddenly the person plays a rock-and-roll tune before the silent-then-cheering crowd to this turning of events.

The twins gasp. "Doctor?!"

The Doctor was strumming playful tunes, while swaggering off his shades.

Time Baby then proclaims loudly, "The unexpected time-traveling champion of many events...!" He then continues on if he was not caring enough anymore, "The one only Lord of Time, and if-not notorious enough: THE DOCTOR!"

After finishing on an ending note; the Doctor mock bows before the whole cheering crowd.

Blendin was loudly confused, "...WHAT?! How did this happen...YOU OUT OF MANY PARTS OF THE MULTIVERSE, YOU WERE THEIR FRIEND?!...oh no..."

The Doctor spoke, "Well, you wanted a "Globnar" fight-besides as a post award-winning champion and your HOST to this final round, and _caretaker-"_

The tyrannical baby overlord scoffs and crosses his arms.

"-of your cranky ruler, I get to host this now type of game!" He reveals the vortex manipulator and tosses it to not amused Time-officer Lolph.

Blendin sees his odds are not really in his favor...

"Oh, come on-centuries ago, it was really laughable!"

He comes down from the tank.

 _"It's a slow burner!"_

Blendin stated, "Your instrument is clearly not a weapon! But how-"

"Yes!" The Doctor interrupts, " _But a daffodil is not a sword_ , but I have indeed entertained you all by winning the last match!"

The crowd roared with approval.

"What do you think of the tank! Don't worry it isn't loaded." He winks at the twins.

Blendin worryingly stated, "I don't like it..."

"Neither do I!"

The Doctor continues, " _I got it for my fish!"_

Everyone was then confused.

" _Oh come on, FISH! TANK? Honestly I still think it is pretty funny at the upmost! Do stick around!"_

The Doctor then glances at the twins momentarily, and kept talking, "Well we partied!" The crowd cheers, "And now, in the name of an awesome handyman, let me hear you!"

"DUDE!" Crowd shouts.

"Were you awesome at Live Chess?"

"DUDE!"

"Are you Futuristic?"

"DUDE!"

"I have a monster-slaying-"

"DUDE!"

"I LIKE IT! But I have sad news for you, DUDES: I must go, a short but comical end..."

The crowd starts to mourn and mope.

"BUT BEFORE I DO! I read from the script: presenting an ancient game, thousands of years old, chosen for its exemplification of pure strategy: The ancient art... of _Laser Tag_!"

A course and laser guns appear.

Time Baby also adds in, "The one who touches the victory orb first will win!"

Dipper then shakes off from the presentation the Doctor made. "Laser tag? Seriously?"

Blendin replies, "Oh, I know it doesn't seem that challenging now, but just wait till they turn on that fog machine. You'll be done for! You just wait until ya-"

Dipper then shoots him multiple times, making the vest say "Hit!"

Blendin then grimaces, "Aw, man!"

Dipper shouts, "Mabel, now! Grab the orb!"

Mabel runs up to the top of the pyramid to the orb, "Got it!" She touches it and everything goes white.

Time Baby finishes drinking the cosmic sand out of boredom, "FINALLY! It is finished!"

Blendin screams, "No! No! No! No! Nooooo!"

Dipper and Mabel high-fives, "Yes! Thanks Doc! Couldn't have done it without you rescuing us!"

"Just remember! Don't wander off," The twins nod their heads.

Time Baby then announced, "By the Lord of Time's degree, you have made victory in Globnar. Before I give you your time wish, tell us; what fate have you decided for the loser?"

Blendin stammers, "Oh, jeez..."

Mabel shouts, "Death!"

Dipper repriminds her, "Mabel!"

"Sorry. Got carried away..."

Dipper then suggests, "So Blendin did try to wish us out of existence, but it was kind of our fault for ruining his life."

"Yeah, and he's kind of too sad to be a real bad guy."

"Maybe if we treat him right in the present, he'll turn out better in the future! Okay. As long as you keep an eye on him, we'd like to set Blendin free, and restore his position at the Time Anomaly Correction Unit."

"And give him pretty hair!"

Time Baby looked at the Doctor, who then grins, "So be it."

Blendin's was-then handcuffs fall off, "Wh-what? You'd do that for me?" Mustache-shaped hair grows on his head, "I got my job back!" He places hand on Lolph's chest, "I feel like hugging somebody!"

Lolph deapans, "I can kill you in eight different ways."

Blendin slowly removes his hand, "Yes, sir."

Time Baby then rubs his face, "Now, children. What is it that you want for your time wish?"

A glowing orb floats down between Dipper and Mabel.

"Thank you, but the wish... isn't for us." Mabel informs.

"Not you? But then who? Who is worthy to receive such power?"

The Doctor seemed to catch on, "I am pretty loss at myself, but then again-you kids surrendered for a friend of ours..."

* * *

Soos walks around the laser tag arena, "Dipper? Mabel? Aw, who am I kidding? I'm not up for this (Goes towards exit and takes out coin) Heads I stay, tails I go make myself some dinosaur shaped cookies." He starts flipping his coin.

A kid is drinking from a water fountain when time starts to slow down. Two kids playing in the laser tag arena also slow down and stop. Soos's coin stops in mid-air.

Soos was confused, "Huh. That's... unconventional."

Dipper and Mabel appear with the Doctor and Blendin, "Soos!"

"G-guys!"

"We're so sorry we left you hanging dude. We got caught up in this time travel junk-"

The Doctor was cleaning and brushing off his ragged coat. He was mad at Blendin, "Wrong events before we got here!"

Blendin flinched, "Sorry! I was so excited that we went through many historical times!"

"And there was a time cyclops-"

"And don't forget about the-"

"Heheh." Dipper and Mabel both stated, "Time race!"

The Doctor then explains, "But, the point is-out of all trouble, Soos, they think we know how to fix your birthday..."

"Woah, really? Wait, you guys did all of that... for me?"

Blendin adds in, "And that's not all." He presses button on wristwatch and the time wish appears. "Behold your time wish! The power to alter time paradox free in any way you choose."

"We think the only thing that can make you happy is meeting your dad."

"But the choice is yours."

Soos was astonished, "You mean I can finally see my dad by touching this thing? And you guys battled through time and space just to get this for me?" He takes out postcard from New Orleans.

"What are you waiting for, Soos?"

Soos glances at postcard then puts it away, "Alright, here goes nothing." He places hand on time wish and it gives off white light. When the light clears, Mabel and Dipper get cleaned from their battles and ragged outlooks. Same with the Doctor.

"What the-?"

"Wait what?"

Soos explains, "Bam! I fixed you dudes up."

"But Soos, what about meeting your dad?"

Soos then stated, "Well, birthdays are supposed to be spent with the people who care about you. But you know what, that dude didn't care about me enough to visit me once, let alone fight monsters through time and space like you dudes. I mean, you had a gladiator fight, just to make me happy. I've been being ridiculous this whole time. Whoever my dad was, he can take a hike." He throws away the postcard. "I know who my family is now, and it's you dudes." He hugs the twins, making the Doctor chuckle, "Thanks for giving me the best birthday ever."

Blendin was then outraged, "Are you kidding me?! Do you have any idea what you've just wasted?! Do you how many have died to get the time wish; the wars that were started?!"

"Oh that's not all dude." He held up slice of pizza, "I also wished for this slice of infinite pizza. Watch." He takes bite of pizza, which returns, "And it can do that for like...infinity!"

"Oh yeah, okay, cool."

The Doctor was chucking aloud in laughter.

Blendin was relieved, "Okay, yeah. Phew. That's a good time wish!"

"There's still ten minutes before Laser Tag closes. You dudes wanna play?"

"Yeah."

Dipper, Mabel and Soos run into Laser Tag zone, laughing.

"Happy birthday, Soos!"

The Doctor grins and sighs, "I think I had fun for one day-It's almost great I went back time traveling..."

Blendin then asks him, "They didn't seen **it** yet?"

* * *

Young Soos soon arrived at the Mystery Shack.

He sees the Doctor, which he thinks is the same person, outside.

Stan was throwing young Durland outside. "That is it! You are singlehandedly the worst handyman I've ever seen."

"Uh, hey. Excuse me sir." Soos approaches the Doctor with the tool-which-was-from-where-Bessie-is.

"Why, how did you come across that?" The Doctor mused.

"Oh! You told me to be here-"

Stan then approaches the two, "Hey you, gumdrop." He points at Soos, "Think you can fix a golf cart?"

"Well, uh. I don't know if I-"

Stan tosses the familar shirt to the Doctor, "Boom. He's hired. One size fits all, show him the cart will you?...Step right up to the Mystery Shack folks! Step right up...

The Doctor suddenly realizes as he gained his tool back. "Oh! Well, here-the shirt fits all, say what is your name?"

"Soos!"

"Well, Soos-the man you meet over there, is Mr. Pines, or Mr. Mystery!" He smiles at Soos, "And he's is going to be a father-figure for you...I trust him with my all future-selves..."

Soos looks happily at Stan.

19-16-15-20 15-14 20-8-5 5-4-4-19-23-15-18-12-4 18-5-6-5-18-5-14-3-5. 4-15-14'20 4-15 20-8-5 20-9-13-5 3-18-9-13-5 9-6 25-15-21 3-1-14'20 4-15 20-8-5 20-9-13-5 20-9-13-5. 20-9-13-5 2-1-2-25 19-5-5-19 20-8-5 4-15-3-20-15-18 1-19 1-14 5-24-3-5-16-20-9-15-14.


	29. Chapter 29

_**Special Report Log**_

 **Enter Password:** **7-9-16-4-14-1-20-1-15-7** **8-9-14-20-19 15-6 13-21-12-20-9-3-18-15-19-19-15-22-5-18**

 **[Enter]**

 **Initalizing System...** **Please Stand By**

 **Location** _ **:** Gravity Falls, Oregon. Woodstick __Festival._

 **Update** _ **:** Tracking down the Subject. Name: No Identfication-Unknown. Aliases: "Dr. Houston Pines"-as a teacher, "Jimmy Snakes"-See Stan Pines,"John Smith", "_ _Drostan Hynd"-Recent false identfication._

 _Subject is still amongst the teenagers and Pines children. Identified by the peculiar outline and so-called fashion: a red-and-black jacket, inside an obvious handmitted yale blue sweater with a clock reading 6:18, and wears a red Turkish fez. Top government clearances have given us access to this sole_ _individual. His cover was being an apparent substitute teacher to full-working at Gravity Falls High School. We came across him after the apparent readings that are traced around thirty years ago. See Stan Pines._

 _A very vague confrontation: Subject and one of the Pines twins somewhat crashed into "the Love God". See_ **[Currently Under Investigation]**. _Both received suspected hallucinations which somewhat can be seen by nearby eyes. A brought up 3D illusions?_

 **Video Recording Start:** _"Sorry, kids, but you've left me no choice. Visions of heartbreak past!"_

 _(Couple of guys: Five similar men-clones?, one with a hoodie, two boys, a fish?, a man in a colonial suit?)_

 _"We're back Mabel."_

 _"We like you now."_

 _"Yes. Definitely. Absolutely!"_

 _"Ugh. Ha! You really think we'd fall for that?"_

 _"Sure you can all marry me. Oh, guy from the 10 bill, I forgot I had a crush on you."_

 _"Dang it, Mabel! They're not real."_

 _"Just give us the bottle, Mabel."_

 _"Mabel don't!"_

 _(Couple of females: an Egyptian attire?, two seemed to be wearing very 17th-18th century attires, one seemed to be a familar movie star, three unindentified ladies, a blonde woman, and a brazzy haired woman)_

 _"We all change. When you think about it, we are all different people, all through our lives. And that's ok, that's good, you gotta keep moving, so long as I remember you..."_

 _The Subject proceeds to shake his hands all around to blow away the illusions..._

 **End of Video Recording**

 _Confrontations of the undead had him running around the targeted Pines Family. See Stan Pines._

 _As noted, was ready to move in the theater to get the show's cast (mainly those Pines: snatch and grab them) due to the Subject's unexpected harassment from his act on the Pines children and endangerment to the audience. Apparently it was all a ploy._

 _Subject was with an unmistakable resemblance to a gopher, and the Pines children. Second degree of endangerment: an unexpected occurance at a mall's arcade party._

 _Subject was with the Pines children. Some strange occurrence resulted a fire alarm drill in the bowling alley._

 _Subject was with the Pines children and two other indivduals at Gravity Falls Museum of History. Boring._

 **End of Update**

* * *

 **Mission: Open and Arrest Warrants must be assigned: one for the obvious suspected long-time criminal being an accomplice, and another for commiting top clearance suspicious activities that brings concern for national security [still don't understand why the top are not taking us seriously].**

 **See the Concerns Include:**

 **-U.N.I.T (I bet with him under our rein; we can do the same on this e** **spionage-** **type group. Those annoying Brits!) [Link]**

 **-Gravity Falls'** **Trembley Train (delivered** **safety; Mr. H.W.R isn't pleased though) [Link]**

 **-Scatterbrook Farm [Link]**

 **-X Files [Link]**

 **-456 Incident (See Torchwood) [Link]**

 **-April O'Neil probe [Link]**

 **-Sarah Jane Smith probe [Link]**

 **-Royal Woods, Michigan [Link]**

 **-The Sky Gypsy [Link]**

 **-The Demon Scarf Incident [Link]**

 **-The Crow Files [Link]**

 **-** **Blithe Hollow, Massachusetts [Link]**

 **-Emily Morris [Link]**

 **-Ashland, Oregon [Link]**

 **-New York City's hauntings [Link]**

 **-Whispering Rock Summer Camp [Link]**

 **-Liz Shaw probe [Link]**

 **-Skool Elementary School [Link]**

 **-Professor Moshimo probe [Link]**

 **-Townsville, U.S.A [Link]**

 **-Porkbelly, U.S.A [Link]**

 **-London's Natural History Museum (something about stonehearts and angels that are crying...) [Link]**

 **-The Unknown** **Edelwood tree forest [Link]**

 **-Britain's 18th Century Paternoster Gang [Link]**

 **-Swampy area, West Virginia [Link]**

 **-The Deetzes and Maitlands Feud [Link]**

 **-** **Hillsborough hauntings [Link]**

 **-Town of Snowdin [Link Cannot be Found]**

 **-Benedict Baker's Disappearance [Link]**

 **-Monster Detective's case file [Link]**

 **-Wilson Higgsbury Files [Link Cannot be Found]**

 **-Skull Island expedition [Link Cannot be Found]**

 **-Iris Wyldthyme [Link Cannot be Found]**

 **-Dr. Tom Jackman Incident [Link]**

 **-Primeval Files [Link Cannot be Found]**

 **-Gene Hunt probe [Link]**

 **-Kolchak Files [Link]**

 **-Mayview Middle School [Link]**

 **-Walkerville Elementary School [Link Cannot be Found]**

 **-Joe the Magnificent's performances [Link Cannot be Found]**

 **-Motorcity, Detroit [Link]**

 **-Night Vale, U.S.A [Link]**

 **-Oujia Falls, U.S.A [Link]**

 **-Hawkins, Indiana [Link]**

 **-Possum Springs, Deep Hollow County** **[Link]**

 **-Seattle, Washington (Wouldn't recommend to go there...) [Link]**

 **-Echo Creek Academy [Link]**

 **-Nowhere, Kansas [Link]**

 **-Westfield, New Jersey [Link]**

 **-Endsville, U.S.A [Link]**

 **-Hauntswitch, U.S.A [Link]**

 **-Amity Park hauntings [Link]**

 **-Cup of Athelstan Heist [Link]**

 **-Prime Minster Bill Hawks [Link]**

 **-Jago and Litefoot [Link]**

 **-The Litwak's Family Fun Center Arcade [Link]**

 **-Coal Hill Academy [Link]**

 **-Frog Creek, Pennsylvania [Link]**

 **-** **Bernice Summerfield [Link Cannot be Found]**

 **-Danville, U.S.A [Link]**

 **-Canterlot High School [Link]**

 **-Dan Detective Academy [Link]**

 **-Gilligan's Island Incident (it involved with a planet) [Link]**

 **-** **Lakewood Plaza Incidents [Link]**

 **-Sighted at: present-day Russia, Japan, and U.S [Link]**

 **-The Fowl Star Incident [Link]**

 **-Unit: E Files (See Angel Grove, Big Sur National Park, Dr. Hank Pym, Starlight Music, Project R.O.M, S-7: Non-biological Extraterrestrial Species Treaty) [Link]**

 **-The Concurrence (See above)**

 **-Primatech [Link]**

 **-C.O.B.R.A [Link] (See** **Cabinet Office Briefing Room A, Bridget Spears, and Denise Riley)**

 **-Black Organization [Link]**

 **-V.E.N.O.M [Link]**

 **-Lake Lilac, Sleepy Peak [Link]**

 **-The Huntsclan [Link]**

 **-Middleton, U.S.A [Link]**

 **-** **Wizardville, California [Link]**

 **-Kauai Crash Site [Link]**

 **-** **Dimmsdale, U.S.A [Link]**

 **-Tremorton, Pennsylvania [Link]**

 **-Hatchfield, U.S.A [Link]**

 **-Kepler, West Virginia [Link Cannot be Found]**

 **-** **Beverly Heights School [Link]**

 **-Mystery Inc. [Link]**

 **-(British) M.O.L [Link Cannot be Found]**

 **-Paris, France [Link]**

 **-Chowder Bay, Maine [Link]**

 **-Inspector Koichi Zenigata [Link]**

 **-Count Pacome Champignac [Link]**

 **-Vortex Point, U.S.A [Link]**

 **-Oswald Asylum scandal [Link]**

 **-Detective Maxstrong [Link]**

 **-M.C.F [Link]**

 **-Phantom Thieves probe [Link]**

 **-Beacon Hill incidents [Link]**

 **-Town of A.S community council [Link]**

 **-15th century's airplane sighting [Link Cannot be Found]**

 **-The Gabe Family's "elsewhere" residence [Link]**

* * *

 **That settle's it: Operation K-Pax is to go. -Mr. H.W.R**

 **23-9-20-8 1 17-21-9-3-11 20-8-9-14-11-9-14-7, 20-8-5 4-15-3-20-15-18 19-1-22-5-4 19-20-1-14 23-9-20-8 20-5-20-8-5-18-5-4 1-5-18-9-1-12 18-5-12-5-1-19-5 4-5-22-5-12-15-16-5-4 9-14 19-20-25-12-5. 1-20 20-8-5 16-12-1-25 15-18 1-20 20-8-5 6-1-9-18, 9 1-12-23-1-25-19 19-5-5 20-8-5-13 19-20-1-14-4-9-14-7 20-8-5-18-5. 4-18-5-19-19-5-4 9-14 2-12-1-3-11 20-8-5-25'18-5 15-14 13-25 12-1-23-14, 2-21-20 23-8-5-14 9 20-21-18-14 13-25 8-5-1-4 20-8-5-25'18-5 7-15-14-5.**

 **8-15-23 13-1-14-25 8-1-22-5 12-9-22-5-4 9-14 25-15-21-18 14-1-13-5, 4-15-3-20-15-18?**


	30. Chapter 30

_**The Case of Northwest Noir**_

"Preston, I must say, the guest list for this year's party has so much diversity!" Priscilla Northwest, the wife of Preston Northwest, announced.

"Yes, a nice mix of millionaires and billionaires-Put the oyster fork at an angle! We're not animals, man!" ordered the one and only head of the Northwest Manor.

"Now where the devil is—?" Priscilla turns to doorway, sees Pacifica in a lake foam green dress. "Pacifica! What did I tell you about that dress? The theme is sea foam green, not lake foam green! Go change!"

Pacifica stammers, "But, I-I I kinda like it."

"Mind your mother, Pacifica."

"But-"

Suddenly Preston rings a bell. "Yes, father." She scurries off with bit of hesitation.

The ground begins to shake, while at the table, plates and utensils clatter. The Northwests and their staff stare and gasp.

"Oh no! NOT NOW! It's... happening!"

Furniture and dinnerware fly at the unfortunate individuals present, while everyone either ducks or hides underneath tables.

"You are my possessions, bedknobs and broomsticks! Obey me!" Preston shouted.

More things fly at Preston. He screams and ducks underneath the table.

"This is a disaster! This black haunting, or whatever is the worst kind! The party's in just 24 hours!"

Preston rubs off his aching head, "Surely there's someone who can handle this sort of nonsense...!"

He then looks at a newspaper and cuts beneath the headline to a picture of the Pines twins with the Doctor confronting a monster from Sheriff Blubs' and Deputy Durland's patrol car.

"And I think I know just the _people_..."

* * *

 _Meanwhile..._

"I have to say, the hunt was pretty tough than it was expected-owch!" The Doctor held his once-been broken wrist from a certain adventure. He then shook his hand out to make sure it is fine. "Rather to clean up some Dryads, or be trapped in a coloring book!"

Mabel grins, "Well at least, Blubs and Durland are happy that the bat isn't going to bother them anymore!

 _"We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news!"_

Mabel suddenly umps into armchair beside Dipper, who as usual, is writing in his founded mysterious journal.

"It's starting!"

Candy, a friend of Mabel, jumps to Dipper's side. "Turn it up!"

Grenda bursts in, "Make room for Grenda!"

On the TV screen, Toby Determined is outside the Northwest Manor.

"Well tonight's the night, but I've been out here for days! The Northwest family's annual high-society-shindig-ball-soiree is here! And even though common folk aren't let in, that doesn't stop us from camping out for a peek at the fanciness!"

"Oooooooooh!"

Dipper scoffs from his writing, "Okay, can someone please explain why people care about this?"

"It's pretty much the best party of all time. Rich food, richer boys!"

"They say each gift basket has a live quail inside!"

Candy paws at TV screen, "Give me your life, Pacifica."

"Guys, in case you've already forgotten, Pacifica Northwest is the worst!"

 _KNOCK! KNOCK!_

"And that's not just jealousy talking. I'd say that to her face."

Dipper opens to see Pacifica Northwest herself standing there.

"I need your help."

"You're the worst." He slams the door. "See?"

All girls gasp, the Doctor quirks his eyebrows questionably.

* * *

"Look. You think it's easy for me to come here? I don't want to be seen in this hovel. But there's something haunting Northwest Manor. If you don't help me, the party could be ruined!"

"And why should I trust you? All you've ever done is try to humiliate me and Mabel!" Dipper argued.

"And my chin," The Doctor adds.

"Just name your price, okay? I'll give you anything!"

Mabel jumps up, "Hi, Pacifica! Excuse us!" She drags Dipper back behind. "Dipper! Don't you see what this means? If you help Pacifica, you could get us invites to the greatest party of all time!"

"What? Mabel, this is Pacifica we're talking about!"

"But it's Candy and Grenda's dream!"

The Doctor quickly raises his wrist to see the watch's time, "Two minutes and forty-three seconds, that's when we can all be prepared for ghost-hunting. Who indeed you are going to call...?"

"Fine! I'll bust your ghost."

Dipper thinks first.

"But, in exchange, I'll need four tickets to the party."

"Hrrn! You're just lucky I'm desperate."

Mabel, Candy, Grenda then all celebrate, "Wooo! Des-perate! Des-perate! Des-perate!"

"Grenda, get the glue gun. We're making dresses!"

"Well then, whose ready for party?"

* * *

A limo drives through the crowds as a butler pulls a lever to open the main gates and let it through. Two servants open the doors to the house, letting in the Doctor in his new-founded attire with a bow-tie thanks to his hat with Dipper, Mabel, Pacifica, Candy, and Grenda coming along in.

"Welcome to Northwest Manor, clowny dorks. Try not to touch anything."

"Everything's so fancy! Fancy floors, fancy plants-ancy man!"

"Reminds me of the comparisons of Dragon Emperor's customs and good o'l Arthur's court," The Doctor referenced.

Candy squealed, "The rumors were true!" She holds up a gift bag, live quail pops out, followed by three quail chicks. All girls run off excitingly.

Suddenly, Preston, the father of Pacifica approached. "Ah, if it isn't the man of the hour!...and you of course," Preston remarked the Doctor's familarity. "Hopefully you two can help us with our little... situation, _without any funny business,_ before the guests arrive in an hour..."

The Doctor shrugs, " _Don't tempt_ _me_...Anyways! Ready to investigate Dipper?"

Dipper pulls out his journal, "I'll do my best, sir!"

Preston grins, "Splendid! Pacifica, take our guest to the "problem room," He then frowns, "...and, uh... he's not wearing that, is he?"

"Always causal, eh Preston?" The Doctor comments.

* * *

Dipper emerging from a dressing room in a tuxedo.

The Doctor chuckles, "Chin up, Dipper! Bow-ties are always cool." He fixes his own to make a point.

"Ugh, it's like this collar is strangling me. Who do you guys think you're impressing with this stuff?"

"Um, everyone..." She ties Dipper's bow tie. "You wouldn't understand. High standards are what make the Northwest family great."

"Funny, I thought it was lying about founding the town. He plays around with a picture frame's tassel.

"Don't touch that!"

The Doctor smirks, " _And that's how you meet her..."_

* * *

All three: Pacifica leading the way, with the Doctor and Dipper trailing behind her.

"Whoa."

"This is the main room where it's been happening," Pacifica explains.

"Click-Boom! Then it happened," The Doctor muttered. "But no one really knows what it happened..."

"Yep, this looks like the kind of room that would be haunted, all right. I wouldn't worry about it, though. Ghosts fall on a ten-category scale. Floating plates sound like a Category 1."

"So what? Are you gonna bore him back into the afterlife by reading from this book?"

"Just gotta splash this sucker with some anointed water, and he should be out of your probably-fake blonde hair..."

"What was that about my hair?"

"Doc, any signals?"

"Hold on, I am taking some signals...More older than that convenience store with my students..." The Doctor readied his trusty screwdriver.

"Convenience store?" Pacifica questioned. "And what's exactly that is going to help?" She then points at his multi-purpose tool.

"A funny story, really. Gadget: health and safety, classified, I'm afraid. You know, while the back room boffins work out a few kinks! Dipper, trailing from the Journal, ready?"

"Wait-hold on," Dipper looks back at the painting, and the lumberjack inside has disappeared. "Doc? What's the signal now telling you?"

"It's telling me that you haven't been exposed to any life-threatening transmundane emanations!" He then pulled the screwdriver back into his perception filtered attire.

The Doctor lifts up the lighted three headed candlestick, "So, where's the ghost? Show me the ghost. It's ghost time!"

"GAH!" Pacifica screamed as blood dripping from above as she looks up.

Blood swells from the mouths of the stuffed animal heads on the walls. Dipper and Pacifica screamed for their lives as the fire bursts out of the fireplace. The Doctor quickly took a front stance in front of the two children.

Animal Heads cry out, "ANCIENT SINS! ANCIENT SINS! ANCIENT SINS!"

"There it is..."

Books, furniture, and antique weapons fly around all three, and the chandelier above crackles dangerously.

"ANCIENT BLOOD AND BLACKENED SKIES. THE FOREST DARK SHALL ONCE MORE RISE!"

Pacifica shakes Dipper by the collar behind the Doctor, "What do we do, what do we do?!"

"Don't worry. It can't get worse than this!" Dipper sees flames circling all around the area.

The fire flames up again, a giant black skeleton emerges from the fire. A body forms around the skeleton of an enormous lumberjack with a beard made of fire and an ax in his head.

"I smell... A NORTHWEST!" An ax materializes in his hand, begins dragging ax along the floor.

"Hurry! Read through your dumb book already!"

"I'm looking! And it's not dumb, okay? This book is gonna save our lives! Alright, here we go. Advice: "PRAY FOR MERCY!" Aww, seriously?!"

"New advice: RUN!"

The Doctor quickly gestures the two to start running.

The ghost chopes the table in half, Dipper and Pacifica scream.

"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE!"

"This way! Hurry!"

Dipper and Pacifica flee down the hall while the Doctor trails behind them, pursued by the ghost.

* * *

"Hurry! Through the garden! Watch out for peacocks!"

Dipper, head in journal, hits a peacock as they go. Dipper and Pacifica muddy their shoes on the garden path as they run.

"Come on, come on- I got it! Haunted paintings can only be trapped in a silver mirror. Look! There's a silver mirror right there!"

Dipper and Pacifica run towards a pristine white room, where a large, rectangular mirror hangs on the rear wall. Pacifica grabs his arm, stopping him before he can enter.

"Wait! Don't go in there! This room has my parents' favorite carpet pattern! They'll lose it if we track mud in there!"

"What? Are you serious?!"

"We'll find another way!"

Ghost shouts, "Come out!" and laughs evilly.

"Pacifica, we don't have time for this! Let me through!"

"No, my parents will kill me!"

"Why are you so afraid of your parents?!"

"You wouldn't understand!"

Pacifica tugs on Dipper's journal, tripping them both and causing them to fall through a painting of a skeleton in a crown and robe into a dark, dusty, cobwebbed room.

"OY! You there!" The Doctor dances sideways with a 'L' on his forehead, "Look at me, I am a target!" The ghost then flies angrily after him in the opposite direction.

"Ahh!...What is this place?"

Pacifica then looks around That's weird. I don't even know where this room is.

"Hopefully the ghost doesn't either."

"Yeah, maybe we're safe."

The Doctor burst inside the room with the rectangle silver mirror, "MAKE WAY!"

"PREPARE TO DIE, LORD OF TIME!"

"And NOW!" The ghosts dives down upon the Doctor, who tossed the mirror and somersaulted out of the way.

Dipper and Pacifica are knocked out of a first floor window due to the mirror which the ghost crashed into, became entangled in a window drape and fall down a short hill.

"Ow..."

"Did you get him?" They look at the mirror, held by Dipper.

The ghost pounds on the mirror. "NO! FREE ME!"

"Haha! Yes!"

"We did it!" Pacifica hugs Dipper. Eyes widen when she realizes what she's doing, and then she backs off awkwardly. She clears her throat and holds out a dollar, avoiding eye-contact with Dipper, "Can I pay you to pretend that never happened?"

The Doctor brushes dust off and stands up, "...and I can't pretend that the ghost is familar..."

* * *

Soon at the Northwest Manor garden, where Preston and Priscilla Northwest are meeting Dipper, while Pacifica and a waiter stand nearby.

"Well, Pacifica, you really found the right people for the job."

"We can't thank you enough. That's enough."

Dipper shrugs, "Hey, just holding up my end of the deal."

"M-hm," the Doctor comments.

Pacifica asks, "Wait, leaving already? You're at the world's best party, dummy."

"Heh, I'd love to stay, but we've got a Category 10 ghost to dispose of," The Doctor held the mirror. Dipper ran into a garden pillar, "Aah! Heh heh... Category 10." Both laugh as Dipper leaves.

"Call me crazy Doc, but, maybe she's not that bad after all."

"I agree, but then-"

The ghost laughs from mirror.

"What are you laughing about, man? We defeated you."

"You've been had, boy. You remind me of me a hundred and fifty years ago."

"What do you mean?" Dipper questioned.

 _"One hundred and fifty years ago this day, the Northwests asked us lumber-folk to build them a mansion atop the hill, thanks to the **timekeeper** here!" _Dipper gasps as the Doctor narrows his eyes to the accusation. " _We were told t'would be a service to the town, that once a year they would throw a grand party, and all would share in the bounty. It took years of backbreaking labor and sacrifice, but when it was time for the grand party they promised the common folk of the town, they refused to let us in!"_ He explains.

 _"With the trees gone, the mudslides began. While they partied and laughed, I was swept away by the storm! And so I said with final breath, "One-fifty years I'll return from death, and if the gate's still closed to town, wealthy blood will stain the ground!" A curse passed down until this day! YOU FAILED US, LORD OF TIME!"_

Dipper shockingly looked at his godfather.

 _"_...wasn't there yet..." He looked away, "Remember: time-travel is often complicated. Though I don't see any vortex manipulator anywhere...but their descendants still following in their footsteps...that's pretty tough than "

Dipper took a deep breath, "So, wait a minute. The Northwests knew this haunting was coming, and they tricked me into helping them to avoid ghostly justice?...I'll be right back..."

The Doctor suddenly turned around with his eyes being more narrower before, "...I am coming with you. I'm full of ideas; I am BRISTLING WITH THEM!...BUT First!" He marches over and grabs a drape to cover the ghost-still trapped in the mirror.

"WHA?! HELLO!? MY HAUNTING ISN'T DONE YET!"

* * *

"Thank you so much for coming, Mayor. As a sign of our respect, please take this chimp servant. Keep him away from bright lights, he gets... grabby."

"Northwests!" Revealing Dipper pointing at Preston accusingly, "You've got some explaining to do!"

The Doctor came on in, placing his hands in his pockets. "One hundred, and fifty years. One, five, and zero. People have died and were ruined by your ancestors, Preston!"

Pacifica dashes in from another room, "Dipper, you came back!"

Dipper points at Pacifica, "You lied to us! All of you did! All you had to do was let the townsfolk into the party and you could've broken the curse! But you made us do your dirty work instead!"

Preston scoffs and smirks at the Doctor's stern appearance, "Look at who you're talking to; you may have fancy qualifications with **children** , but what goes under my roof-is my own kingdom. I'm hosting a party for the most powerful people in the world. You think they'd come here if they had to be with you and your boy's kind?"

"Not if these people are asking to be haunted by your family's sins-"

"Who EVEN Are YOU?! Are you even listening to the house's owner-"

"And I Am NOT LISTENING!" The Doctor shouted at Preston's most surprised face, whose eyes were shocked by the fury behind the Doctor's eyes. "Now you Mr. Northwest, you are staring into a deep, dark pit of trouble UNLESS, similar to my likable friend would say, you reverse the curse whereas you'll be known a brave redeemer or the one who stepped aside to let reputation tarnished your judgement!"

Dipper adds in, at Pacifica, "I was right about you all along. You're just as bad as your parents. Another link in the world's worst chain!"

"I'm sorry, they made me! I should've told you, but-"

Preston rings a bell. Blushing, Pacifica steps back. The Doctor, disgusted of how he treated his daughter, turned his heels away.

"Enjoy the party! It's the last time you and your kind will ever come!" Dipper glares at Preston and marches away.

A chimp servant offers the Doctor a tray.

"No thanks! Had Jelly-Babies as a snack. By the way...have you seen Mabel and her friends around...?" He then stopped.

All of the lights flashed away into darkness.

"Wait a second, Dipper...oh no..."

"GENERATIONS LOCKED AWAY, MY REVENGE SHALL HAVE ITS DAY!" The ghost of Northwest Manor bellowed, having been set free unwittingly by Dipper.

"Ah, the grim reaper! I'd been wondering when you would arri- Aaah!" The ghost's beams hits mayor, turns mayor and wheelchair to wood. He falls over.

Guests begin running and screaming in every direction. The ghost fires the beam at everyone he can see. Dead taxidermy animals come alive and advance on the guests.

Priscilla Northwest screams, "Preston, what are we going to do?"

"Prepare the panic room!

The front doors fly open with a flash of lightning and thunder, revealing Dipper, soaking from the rain, agape in shock at what he sees. One of the guests reaches out towards him.

"Please, help me-GAH!"

Dipper jumps back, "Whoa, that is messed up!"

"JUST ONE WAY TO CHANGE YOUR FATES: A NORTHWEST MUST OPEN THE PARTY GATES!" The Ghost proclaimed.

"A Northwest?...Pacifica!" Both the Doctor and Dipper realized.

* * *

"Pacifica! There you are! The ghost is turning everyone to wood, and he just started rhyming, for some reason? I need your help! Pacifica?"

"You wanna know why this room was locked up? This is what I found in here. A painted record of every horrible thing that my family's ever done..."

Behind couple of her own rotten ancestors, a man with a blue outline flashing was there. He's always there...

"Lying, cheating, and then there's me. I lied to you just because I'm too scared to talk back to my stupid parents!"

She takes off diamond earrings and throws them at a painting of her parents, "You were right about me, Dipper. I am just another link in the world's worst chain."

The Doctor told Pacifica solemnly, "There is something you should know. From what I seen, you are not your father every much as all. It's not how you are alike to your family...it is how it is **not**."

Dipper added, "Pacifica, I'm sorry about what I said earlier. But just because you're your parents' daughter doesn't mean you have to be like them. It's not too late."

"You might want to get ready." Both Dipper and Pacifica looked at him.

"IT'S TOO LATE!" The ghost bellows.

"Actually, it only been two minutes and forty-four seconds when you were freed." Stalling the vengful spirit, giving the kids to escape and do what's need to be done.

"TIMEKEEPER! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!"

He shots a beam at the Doctor, who greeted it nonchantly.

"Hm, wood-it always didn't work for wood-" He froze up.

Both Dipper and Pacifica gasps. A grandfather clock strikes midnight.

"A FOREST OF DEATH, A LESSON LEARNED, AND NOW THE NORTHWEST MANOR WILL BURN!" He laughs as the manor sets fire.

"Hey, ugly! Over here! You want me to let in the townsfolk? 'Cause I'll do it! Just change everyone back!"

"YOU WISH TO PROVE YOURSELF? PULL THAT LEVER AND OPEN THE GRAND GATE TO THE TOWN! FULFILL YOUR ANCESTORS' PROMISE!"

Preston sudden pops out of an underground hatch with Priscilla Northwest and a butler, "Pacifica Elise Northwest! Stop this instant! We can't let the town see us like this! We have a reputation to uphold! Now come into the panic room. There's enough mini-sandwiches and oxygen to last you, me, and a butler a full week."

He pauses, "We'll eat the butler!" Dipper grimaces, "Ew! Really?"

Pacifica looks at the Doctor's wooden statue, whose face is both passive and defiant to the end, and reaches for the lever.

"You dare to disobey us!?" He rings the bell; Pacifica nervously reaches for the lever as he continues to ring it. "Dingally dingally! Is this bell broken?!"

Pacifica stomps her foot, determined with passion and determination, ""Our family name is broken! And I'm gonna fix it!" She pulls the lever.

The ghost gasps.

Outside, the main gate swings open, admitting the citizens of Gravity Falls, who were spying on the party outside.

"YES, YES, IT'S HAPPENING! MY HEART, ONCE HARD AS OAK, now grows soft like more of a... birch, or something."

The guests and manor itself fade back from the wooden forms. The Doctor puffs out a breath of air, "PHEW!"

Dipper was relieved.

"Pacifica, you are not like the other Northwests. I feel... lumber justice..."

He turns to the Doctor, "Don't fail her for me, lord of time..."

The Doctor nods solemnly.

He fades to nothing, the ax in his head falling to the floor and sinking into the ground.

There is a rumbling noise, and the doors of the manor burst open as the people of Gravity Falls enter the party.

Mabel groans, "Oh, man, what happened?"

"Ahem!"

"Grenda! We are so sorry."

"We shouldn't have left you behind."

"It's okay. Maybe I do need to work on my flirting. Come on, let's go dunk our heads in some cheese and chocolate. Friends?"

All three girls shout out, "Friends!"

"Wait! Don't go! Grenda, was it? I must speak with you. There is something about you, I can't get you out of my head. You're so bold and confident. I know you are probably out of my league, but, might I give you mein phone number?"

"I don't have a phone! Write it on my face!"

"Whoa-ho-ho! Go Grenda!"

"I guess we shouldn't have sold her short. I call bridesmaid!"

"What? I call co-bridesmaid!"

As all three girls were aquited with a young baron from Austria, Dipper was talking to Pacifica.

"Man, if your family hates you for this, they're idiots. This is great."

"Enjoy it while it lasts. Next year I'm sure they're just gonna lock everyone out again."

"Hey. Guess what we're standing on."

Pacifica gasps, seeing her parents' favorite white carpet pattern. Then she laughs, and she and Dipper have some fun knocking things onto the carpet.

"Haha. But seriously, I'd better go and find someone to clean this up."

The Doctor smiled by their friendship.

McGucket suddenly appears, "Woo! Scobbity-doo! Hornswaggle m' goat knees!"

Dipper was surprised, "Whoa-ho-ho, what's up, McGucket? Hey-Doc?" McGucket grabs the recovered Doctor by the arm and they dash around a corner to speak in private.

"I'll be fine, see you soon..." The Doctor motioned to Dipper.

"Doc! I've been lookin' for ya. I refixed the laptop-more better than ever! I been doin' calculations, and I think something terrible is comin'! The apocalypse! The End Times! Warn HIM! They Can't DO THIS!"

McGucket plucks the laptop from his beard and opens it. The screen reads "IMMINENT THREAT" with what appears to be a countdown, showing less than twenty-four hours until the portal activates.

"McGucket! Listen to me... _We are bringing him back_ -it's all part of the plan...I might not agree to it-but it has to be done..."

"Oh, this is bad! It is coming! Something big!" He squealed in fright.

Above McGucket, where a tapestry depicts a triangle eye which looks similar to the triangluar deity who is giving all a hard time...in the sky above a burning landscape and cowering figures. Below the worshippers are skulls and bones lying on the ground. The Doctor stared at it in annoyance.

He then drops down at McGucket's panicked level, "Listen to me, I am the Doctor after all.. **.trust me**. For now, look after yourself and Tate..."

* * *

 _"Quick, in here, my darling!"_

 _"A moment alone at last!"_

"You can drop the act, Trigger. They're seeing activity on the machine. It's go time."

"Roger that."

"Where's my phone?"

"I don't have it."

"Yes you do, it was in your purse."

"Oh, so I'm just supposed to hold on to everything for you?"

"I asked you when we were in the car!"

"Why do we always have to fight at parties?!"

Tambry suddenly opens the door, "Not even gonna ask."

* * *

12-5-7-5-14-4 15-6 20-8-5 7-14-15-13-5 7-5-13-21-12-5-20-19. 14-5-24-20 21-16 15-14 21-20-2-1-8-3: 4-9-4 1-12-9-5-14-19 23-18-9-20-5 20-8-5 3-15-14-19-20-9-20-21-20-9-15-14? 3-18-1-23-4-1-4-19 9-14 20-9-1-18-1-19! 1-14-4 6-12-15-18-9-4-1: 20-8-5 19-8-15-23.

20-8-5-4-15-3-11-14-15-23-19-19-20-1-14-9-19-14-15-20-23-8-1-20-8-5-19-5-5-13-19.

20-8-5-4-15-3-11-14-15-23-19-19-20-1-14-9-19-14-15-20-23-8-1-20-8-5-19-5-5-13-19.

20-8-5-4-15-3-11-14-15-23-19-19-20-1-14-9-19-14-15-20-23-8-1-20-8-5-19-5-5-13-19.

 _4-15-3-20-15-18 8-15-21-19-20-1-14 16-9-14-5-19. 9-6 8-5'19 14-15-20 8-15-21-19-20-1-14, 14-5-9-20-8-5-18 1 16-9-14-5, 20-8-5-14 23-8-15 9-19 8-5? 4-15-3-20-15-18 23-8-15?_


	31. Chapter 31

_**Not What They Seem**_

The shack was silent inside, nothing was stirring. It was all quiet.

In the summer, this perculiar place belonged to a desperate con man who had nothing else to lose.

However, in the attractions' room, something was popping up.

The scene takes in the empty area where a tall attraction should be...

Throughout time and space, this sound can be a sign of hope...or dread.

VWORP! VWORP! VWORP! VWORP!

A certain light glows.

Out of nowhere, the sound creaks to a halt then a _thunk_.

Then behold, a figure in darkness opens the door...

...of a police box.

The man stepped out. He closed the door.

He looked at his shoes.

Muddy.

He sighed.

He looked at his watch.

 _It's time._

 _"Alright,_ Stan I think you can come on out now...you're lucky my next destination was here anyways..." The Doctor groaned.

* * *

*Ding!*

The basement doors open.

Stan pulls away the very last container of once-been full of acid.

Soon enough, the Doctor pulls a lever, and green fluid pumps into large, glass tanks connected to a giant universal portal.

"Come on, come on. Should be just enough to finish the job. Whew! Can't be too careful with this stuff..." Stan muttered.

Dr. Houstan Pines, a family friend to the Pines, comes over to see Stan's progress.

"-I've come this far. I'm not givin' up now! Yes, this is it!"

"More better than ever before Stan..." The Doctor stated. He then notices the gravity being weird...

"Brace Yourself!" He shouted.

Everything inside the basement went floating.

* * *

The Pines twins were floating as they sleep...

Even outside, the whole town of Gravity Falls began to float...

Then everything when back down as if nothing ever happened.

"Oof!" The Doctor shouted.

Stan was almost as unlucky.

"Gah!" He crashed into a full tray of toolboxes.

"You okay?!"

"Finland!"

* * *

 _In the morning..._

"Ahh! It's here it's here it's here!"

Dipper, the twin to already wake Mabel, sighs tiredly.

"Okay, so I was just opening random doors - because I'm a creep - when I found something amazing!"

"If it was worth waking up at 7AM for, that will be amazing." He told her sarcastically.

"Feast your eyes!" She opens the door to reveal closet filled with various types of fireworks in a box labeled "DO NOT TOUCH!".

"Whoa!"

"Bro. Bro. We're both thinking it."

Dipper and Mabel both jump and shout, "Crazy rooftop fireworks party!"

Suddenly their causal "grunkle" comes up to them.

Stan marches up to them, "Not so fast, kids! There is no way on earth you're setting off those **dangerous** , _illegal_ fireworks..."

He grins as he holds his hands around their shoulders.

"...without me!"

Both twins yelled, "Hurrah!"

"Wait, what about Doctor?"

Stan rolled his eyes, "OH He's busy! Certainly not helping me to build up a giant contraption!"

* * *

The Doctor was still in the basement...

After adding few more touches...

"After thirty years and couple of time skips... I think it should be fine now!"

The portal suddenly was then stablized.

"No need for aftershocks... this would be just plucking in..."

He pushed a lever slowly.

"...and OUT!"

The alien circular symbol that was apparent on the machine glowed furiously.

" **Risky**... but we have to do it... to stop him..."

* * *

Dipper is grabbing a icy-pop from the cooler. Mabel is standing excitedly next to Stan, who is sitting on the lounge chair with a lit sparkler and Roman candle.

The Doctor came out to see what the Pines were up to...

"Here you go, sweetie." He lights Mabel's firework with a sparkler, "Set something on fire for your Grunkle Stan!"

Mabel aiming the rocket, and screamed, "I AM THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION!"

Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland approach the Mystery Shack as the fireworks go off.

"Hold on a minute. Do you have a permit for those?"

Dipper nervously stammers, "Uh..."

Stan fires back, "Uh, do you have a permit for being totally lame!" He and the twins laugh.

"Heyoooo!"

Blubs then chuckles, "Well, I can't argue with that. Carry on." He wents on with his partner, Durland.

"-But seriously though we should probably clean this mess up." Stan stated, as he sees the Doctor's fedora catch on fire.

The Mystery Shack's yard now have many small fires around and on it.

Mabel suggests, "With water balloons?"

"Excellent suggestion, Mabel-does anyone smell something cooking?" The Doctor asks.

* * *

Dipper laughs as he runs. He throws water balloon which goes about a foot before falling onto the ground, "Seriously?"

Mabel hits him with a water balloon, knocking him back. Both run around and throw water balloons at each other.

Stan relaxes, "Ah. This is what Saturdays are for. Doing dumb things forever."

Dipper and Mabel jump onto the pile of water balloons, "DUMB THINGS FOREVER!" Both land on the water balloons which all pop into a big burst of water.

"Whoa, there!"

Mabel held up her popsicle, "To Grunkle Stan! Not just a great uncle..."

"Their greatest uncle!" The Doctor finishes while smiling broadly, as Dipper and Mabel throw water balloons at Stan.

Stan laughs aloud, "Alright, alright. I tell you it's unnatural for siblings to get along as well as you do..."

The Doctor smirks, "...Reminds me of my own brothers and sisters..."

Mabel waves hand dismissively, "Ha-ha! Don't worry. We've still got plenty of summer left to drive each other crazy!"

Dipper laughs as he pushes Mabel away with a water balloon, which falls on her face.

Stan laughs nervously and frowns. The Doctor catches on...

"Yeah, plenty of summer left." He rubs the back of his head nervously as Dipper and Mabel approach him. The Doctor pulls a nonchant appearance.

"Kids, there's something I, uh, something I should tell you. It's-urm...Well it's complicated. I... I'm gonna go refresh my soda!"

The twins looked at each other.

The Doctor sighs.

* * *

"Enjoy it while you can, Stan. They'll find out sooner or later. Today's the day..."

The Doctor approaches him.

"Stan... it would be a matter of time before they found out what this shack is hiding..."

Stan looks at him.

The Doctor goes on, "...and why exactly we are holding the key to the mystery. You are a good person Stan-"

"Thanks, Doc."

The Doctor shrugs, "Like what my old friend would say, just trying my best... is that what I think it is?"

He points at the a glowing red dot appears on Stan's fez.

"What is that, a ladybug?" He slaps it.

More red dots target Stan.

"What the-?"

The Doctor's eyes widens, "Oh no!"

A masked agent jumps out and pins Stan down. Another jumps upon the Doctor. Agent Trigger approaches.

"Targets secure! Take the house!"

Several helicopters fly above the Shack. Dipper and Mabel are then surrounded by a handful of agents.

"What the-?"

Dipper gasps.

"Kids are secure. Roof team! Go!"

Several agents rappel out of a helicopter. Agents crash into the upper level of the Mystery Shack and cock their weapons.

"Clear!"

Another couple agents rush through the gift shop, wielding a baton. Another crashes through a window, using a rope.

"Clear!"

Yet another agent breaks through Dipper and Mabel's window. Waddles is seen standing in confusion. He squeals when the agent tackles him.

"Pig secure! We have secured a pig!"

The agents wrap yellow police caution-tape around the Shack. Several police cars are parked outside. An agent leads a struggling Stan in handcuffs.

"Ugh! Hey, hands off, you stooge!" Stan shouted. They plants Stan's face on the trunk of the police car in response.

"Gentlemen! I can assure you-oof!" The Doctor was interrupted by being pushed down where Stan is.

"Aah! I don't understand! What did I do that warrants this much arresting?!"

"Try not to say much-we have _someone_ to rescue remember?" The Doctor advised.

Dipper and Mabel see Agent Powers and Agent Trigger walk up.

"The government guys? I thought you got eaten by zombies!"

Trigger replied firmly, "We survived. Barely."

Powers added, "I used Trigger as a human shield. He cried like a baby."

"What? Hey! Not in front of the special-ops guys!"

Powers holds up digital tablet, "This is security footage of a government waste facility. At o'four hundred hours last night someone robbed three hundred gallons of dangerous waste!

* * *

 _"I think that's enough I need!"_

 _He uses a cell phone, "Doc? Eh, listen-I kinda decided to go early on my heist to **borrow** the amounts of acid I need..."_

* * *

"What? You think that's me?"

Powers scoffed, "Don't play dumb with us, Pines."

"But I actually am dumb! Last night I was stocking the gift shop. I swear!"

Mabel ran up, "Wait! Grunkle Stan! You've got the wrong guy! Our Grunkle Stan might shoplift the occasional tangerine, but he's not some evil super villain!"

"I also can vouch for that statements, there is no need to-"

Powers interrupted, "That's enough! You are a product also with multiple connections outside, which we gained a warrant marking yourself with many convictions! We've been watching your supervision over this family all summer and we've seen some disturbing things. But nothing as dangerous as what your accomplice, Mr. Pines is hiding. Somewhere hidden in this shack is a **doomsday device**! Trigger, you take the children, I am entrusting them to you. I'll talk to the old man, and soon him. Sorry to break it to you kids but you don't know your uncle and godfather at all."

Trigger snaps his fingers and points at the children. Two agents approach the twins.

"Please! Listen to me! Just let me call someone who can clear everything this up! Just leave the children all out of this!" The Doctor tried to reason.

Instead, Mabel and Dipper are led into a police car, and the door is shut behind them. Looking out the window they can see both Stan in a separate government vehicle.

"Kids, you gotta believe me! For once I'm actually innocent! Kids!"

As Stan was taken away, the agents are already to transport the Doctor to another vehicle.

Trigger was already escorting the twins, and Powers is taking Stan to custody.

Two agents are ready with further orders...

"So, gentlemen ...any of you familar with-this?" He held a pinky.

* * *

Dipper and Mabel in the car with Trigger. Powers speaks through a video link at the front of the vehicle.

"We've got Mr. Pines in custody. Our men are searching the shack for the device. You take care of those kids."

"What're you gonna do to us?"

"We'll be taking you to child services." He replied.

"Boo!"

"In the meantime, enjoy some mindless reality TV, designed to pacify you and make you stop asking questions."

"Dipper, this is crazy. There's no way Stan was stealing hazardous waste! We gotta clear his name!" Mabel whispered to Dipper.

Dipper thinks for a moment, then something hits him when he spots the camera at the front of the car. "Hmm...wait a minute, the security tapes! Didn't Stan say he was restocking the gift shop last night? If we could get the Mystery Shack surveillance tapes, we could prove he's innocent!"

"We just need to think of a way out of here. Think, Mabel...Think-huh?"

She spots the Doctor himself driving hurriedly after the car with Bessie...

The Doctor quickly looked around while seeing with no options...

"Sorry about this you guys-"

He then veers the logging truck into the government vehicle, which goes into a spin and falls off the road into the forest.

"Mayday! Mayday! Agent down!" Everyone screamed, and the car crashes into the trees. Trigger gets stuck between the car and a tree branch, and struggles to get free. "Darn branch!"

Mabel climbed out, yelled, "Haha, yes! Doc!" She opens the door for her brother, Dipper and both leave the car.

The Doctor screeched Bessie to halt. "You guys! Sorry about that! There was no other options!"

"Backup! Requesting backup!" The Doctor came over him, "I'll be taking that-"

He takes the earpiece out of Trigger's ear and crushes it on the ground. "Hey!"

"Come on, Dipper! We're gonna go clear our uncle's name." Mabel made herself a seat in Bessie.

"Oh, you poor kids. You really think your uncle's innocent?!" Trigger stated. "I've seen it all before." Dipper pauses to listen. "False names, double lives, one minute they're playing with water balloons, the next they're building doomsday devices! Your uncle scammed the whole world. You gonna let your dangerous **godfather** scam you, too?"

"You... you don't know what you're talking about."

The Doctor's face darkened.

"You're gonna regret this-argh!" His car airbag inflates, Trigger cries out, the car's horn beeps.

Two government vehicles pass by, and as they do, Bessie containing the twins and a remorseful driver goes after many feet behind them.

* * *

The Mystery Shack is surrounded by agents. Dipper and Mabel are hiding in a bush near the Shack. The Doctor parked Bessie nearby.

"Alright, here's the plan. I'll take out those two guard guys, you karate chop the other dude in the neck and then we'll back flip through the front door!"

"No need for that Mabel, take this-perception filters. You and Dipper go inside quickly... I am afriad I held this secret to long from you kids. You guys deserve to know better-"

He gave the twins a some-sort of key each, weirdly this reminds Dipper of his given Preisdent's Key...

Two agents looking at the Rock that looks like a face rock that has a name on it: N. Hawthrone.

"So is it a rock, or is it a face?"

"I think, it's... a metaphor-

"Agent John Smith" The Doctor interrupted, he held his psychic paper. "Just passing by."

The agents didn't notice nor cared about two children quickly passing by them.

"Yeah, yeah-these are the guys we weren't looking for ...move along, move along..."

* * *

"Alright. If I was Stan, where would I hide those surveillance tapes?" Dipper told himself.

The Doctor stated, "No need..." He fixes the jackalope's bent antler, and the wall turns open to reveal two old-looking TV monitors and a tape player.

Dipper and Mabel both shout, "Yes!" while the Doctor looked rather morse.

Mabel points to a tape halfway in the player, "It's this week, this is it!"

They fast-forwards through several hours.

"Ha! There it is! Stan restocking like he said! And the date shows it was last night! It's proof! Doc, we can show he's innocent!"

On the tape, Stan sneaks out of the shop at around 7PM.

Dipper fast-forwards through till 8PM, seeing that Stan has not returned, "...Uhh-oh."

"Uh, maybe he's just going to the bathroom outdoors. The way nature intended!"

At 5AM, a figure in a haz-mat suit is wheeling barrels of radioactive waste into the gift shop.

"Oh no, Stan, you didn't..."

"Don't panic. That could be anyone in that suit!"

The figure drops a barrel on his foot, " _Gah! Hot Belgian waffles! Wait, I'm alone. I can swear for real! SON OF A-"_ The Doctor quickly pauses the video.

"Guilty as charged."

"Okay, okay, so maybe Grunkle Stan stole some toxic waste. That doesn't mean he's leading a nefarious double life! Right, Doc?" She asked hesistantly to their now more saddened expressioned godfather.

Dipper pulls a box from under the TV screen, "Mabel, I'm not so sure about that..." He takes a lamp from the desk and turns it on, revealing a box full of passports and IDs.

"What? What is all this? "Stetson Pinefield?"

He continues.

"Hal Forrester?", "Andrew '8-Ball' Alcatraz?" These are fake IDs, Mabel! You wouldn't need these unless you were trying to hide your real identity!"

Dipper then points accusingly at the Doctor, "I remembered also! You said your name was Houstan Pines! But then you said it was John Smith!"

"But why would... why would you do that?" Her foot went on a newspaper clipping out of the box, whose headline reads "STAN PINES DEAD." She passes the clipping to Dipper.

"WHAT?! "Stan Pines Dead?"

Mabel reading from article clippin, "Foul play suspected in Pines' death." Fiery car crash, brakes cut...by who?!"

Dipper picks out another clipping that shows a picture of Stan, "Unnamed grifter at large?" Why would they call him unnamed? Unless Stan..."

"Isn't..."

Dipper and Mabel both stated, "Stan?!" Both looked up at the portrait of Stan on the wall behind them. Then both of the children looked at the Doctor, who then sighed.

"Stan Pines is dead?! Then who have we been living with? Doctor, who exactly are you?! It doesn't make any sense!"

"There has to be some explanation. Maybe we're getting Ker-Prank'd! Justin Kerprank is gonna jump up from behind one of these plants any minute now! ...Any minute, Justin."

"No Justin, here Mabel... it's time where I should tell you guys about it... follow me..." The Doctor beckoned the astonished twins.

"I can't believe it. This whole summer I've been looking for answers and the biggest mystery was right under our nose!" Dipper mumbled.

Suddenly all three heard Soos.

"-Alright Soos, remember the plan. Protect the machine, earn Stan's trust, legally get adopted by Stan, change name to Stan Junior."

"Soos?"

"Ahh! Oh, kids! Doc! Where've you been?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Stan gave me a mission to protect this machine! Ha! And I thought I loved snacks."

The Doctor then appoarched the numbers' keypad. "No need for that Soos, I can explain it to you too." He pressed "A1, B, C3".

Mabel added, "Yeah, just let us through so we can prove this is all just a big misunderstanding.

"Urm-Guys, I know this seems crazy, but I promised Stan I would guard this with my life."

The Doctor then looked at the disbelieving twins who hold the Doctor suspicious, and naive Soos.

"And I made a promise to be a **good man** who isn't **cruel or cowardy."**

All shout, except for the Doctor, as the vending machine swings then forward, shoving them to the floor. All cough, then gasp at the secret passage behind the machine.

"It's like something from a video game..." Soos said with awe.

"Or a dream..." Mabel whimpered.

Dipper stated, "...Or a nightmare."

The Doctor finishes, "No, it is the **truth**."

* * *

Soon all four arrive at the lab. All gasp, save for the Doctor.

"Guys, are we dreaming? Somebody wake me up."

"This can't be real..."

Soos stammers, "I don't understand. Why would Mr. Pines have all this?"

"It's just like that bunker in the woods..."

"But what is it doing underneath the Mystery Shack?"

"Okay, okay, so he's got a huge gigantic lab. That doesn't mean anything bad! Everyone's got secrets! It's still Stan, and he loves us. And we love him. Right?"

Dipper then spotted the two other journals, "It can't be... it's impossible. The other two journals? All this time... all this time, Stan had them?! I can't believe it! Was anything he said to us real?! Why would he have those journals?! DOCTOR! THERE IS SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT TELLING US!" He kicked the desk which brought the two other journals's pages been revealed with circular symbols that seemed to be similar to the huge one on the portal.

"Maybe he's the author."

"He's related to him," The Doctor answered.

Dipper jumped in, "Or maybe he stole them from the author! Maybe the reason he has all those fake IDs is because he is a master criminal, and this machine is his master plan!"

The Doctor stoically shook his head, "Many years ago after **re-making** thyself, I was with three best people I would considered them as my **companions**. However, one made a mistake that he was worth admitting. _This machine_..." The Doctor pointed at the portal, "... _was thought to create knowledge but it is too powerful._ We _deceived_ one and another, _and now it is too late. The device, if fully operational, could tear our universe apart_ by the **time vortex**! _It must not fall into the wrong hands. If the clock ever reaches zero, our universe is doomed!_ Except for one thing: this time-it is actually a rescue mission! I stayed with you guys to see you grow-and to finish the task at hand!"

"Whoa." Mabel mouthed.

"One minute and thirty seconds. Stan! You can come out now-we can explain this even more further!" The Doctor called out.

Stan then appeared looking ragged and tired, but determined.

"Guys! He's right! Just back away. Please! Don't press that shutdown button, you gotta trust me!"

Dipper then yelled back at Stan, "And I should trust you why?! After you stole radioactive waste? After the Doctor lied to us all our life?! I don't even know who you are too!"

"Look, I know this all seems nuts, but I need that machine to stay on! If you'd just let me explain-" Suddenly his wrist device beeps, ground begins to shake again. The Doctor's eyes widens, "Uh-oh, oh, no! Brace yourselves!"

Soos shouted, "It's the final countdown! Just like they always sung about!"

They are lifted off the ground and float toward the machine. All over town, things are lifted high off the ground. The sky darkens and the sun appears red over Gravity Falls.

Computer: _T minus thirty-five seconds._

"Wh-whoa-aaaah!"

"Gaah!"

Mabel called out, "Dipper!" Her ankle is hooked onto a wire over the stand the button is on.

Dipper replied hastily, "Mabel! Hurry! Shut it down!"

Mabel crawls along the wire toward the button.

The Doctor tried to float to Mabel "No! Mabel, Mabel, wait! Stop-OOF!"

Suddenly Soos tackled him.

Stan called out, "Soos, what're you doing?! I gave you an order! LET GO OF DOC!"

Soos replied furiously, "Sorry, Mr. Pines - if that is your real name - but I have a new mission now! Protecting these kids from two of you!"

Stan then launches on the surprised Doctor with Soos holding him, "Soos, you idiot, let HIM go!"

"Stan, it's fine! Just Watch Out!" The Doctor motioned a beam almost hitting Stan.

Dipper pushes off from a support beam, hits head-on on Stan to where Doctor and Soos are, "Go! Mabel, press the red button! Shut it down!"

Stan then shouted, "No, you can't! You gotta trust me!"

Mabel then teared up. All paused as they see her tears float.

"G-G, G-Grunkle S-Stan, I don't even know, if you're my grunkle! _Sniff_! I wanna believe you, but-"

"Then listen to me. Remember this morning when I said I wanted to tell you guys something?" Stan stated.

Computer: _T-minus twenty seconds._

All scream as the portal flashes and pushes Dipper, Stan, Doctor, and Soos against the opposite wall. Mabel prepares to push the button.

Stan breaks down, "I wanted to say that you're gonna hear some bad things about me, and some of them are true, but trust me! Everything I've worked for, everything I care about, it's all for this family!"

"Mabel, what if he's lying? This thing could destroy the universe! Listen to your head!"

The Doctor tried to lift himself up, "Please! He's not lying! It's a quick grab-and-go!" He pauses for a effect. "Well, now it's bit more diffcult, but-Really, Trust Me! Trust HIM! I am the Doctor! Listen to your HEART!"

Stan added in, "Look into my eyes, Mabel! You really think I'm a bad guy?"

"He's lying! Shut it down NOW!"

"Mabel, please!"

 _"Thirteen. Twelve. Eleven. Ten. Nine."_

Mabel looks away and lowering hand to the button then looks at Stan, and the Doctor, whose expression was filled of _past sorrows_ , "Grunkle Stan, Doctor..."

 _"Eight. Seven. Six. Five."_

She lifts her hand.

 _"Four. Three."_

"...I trust you..."

 _"Two."_

Mabel let's go of the stand, as she floats up.

Dipper screamed, "MABEL, ARE YOU CRAZY?! WE'RE ALL GONNA-"

 _"One."_

 _"EVERYONE! HOLD! ON!"_ The Doctor shouted _._

He sees Dipper, Stan, Soos and Mabel all disappear in an explosion of light as each of them screams.

 _"NOOO-!"_

 _"AAA-!"_

 _"AAH-!"_

 _"AAA-!"_

A flash of blinding light engulfs all of Gravity Falls. Then, everything comes down to earth.

The portal, now a mess of tangled wires and metal, glows bright blue, the whispers spoke.

 _A crack in time..._

A figure emerges from the portal.

The blue light fades behind him.

He walks forward, placing a six-fingered hand on the cover of the first journal, then picks it up and places it into the inside pocket of a long, dark coat.

"What...? Who is that?" Dipper questioned

Stan answered, "The author of the journals..."

The figure pulls off goggles, revealing his face.

Everyone, albeit Stan and the Doctor, were stunned by the similar likeness to Stan Pines.

"...my brother."

Everything then fell silent.

Mabel breaks the silence, "Is this the part where one of us faints?"

"Ohoho, I am so on it, dude!"

Soos faints.

* * *

20-23-15 2-15-25-19, 1-2-15-21-20 4-9-16-16-5-18 1-14-4 13-1-2-5-12'19 1-7-5, 19-9-20 15-14 1 19-23-9-14-7 19-5-20 15-14 1 2-5-1-3-8 9-14 6-18-15-14-20 15-6 1 19-21-14-19-5-20: "20-8-5 15-18-9-7-9-14-1-12 13-25-19-20-5-18-25 20-23-9-14-19". 1 19-8-15-15-20-9-14-7 16-15-12-9-3-5 2-15-24, 6-12-25-9-14-7 20-8-18-15-21-7-8 20-8-5 19-20-1-18-19. 13-1-11-5 1 23-9-19-8.

7-21-22-1-13-5-14-20. 13-25 3-15-13-16-1-19-19 7-15-5-19 8-1-25-23-9-18-5 20-8-5 3-12-15-19-5-18 9 7-5-20 20-15 20-8-5-13. 4-15-5-19 20-8-9-19 13-5-1-14 23-8-1-20 9 20-8-9-14-11 9-20 4-15-5-19? 20-8-5 1-14-19-23-5-18 13-1-25 2-5 21-14-4-5-18-7-18-15-21-14-4. 20-8-9-18-20-25 25-5-1-18-19 1-14-4 14-15-23 8-5'19 2-1-3-11: 20-8-5 13-25-19-20-5-18-25 9-14 20-8-5 13-25-19-20-5-18-25 19-8-1-3-11!


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: _This collides with Gravity Falls' Lost Legends graphic novel. Enjoy!_

* * *

 _ **The Time of Two Stans**_

 _Somewhere near the Altantic Ocean, coast of North America._

 _A wind was blowing to the east._ _A sudden whoosh flies by through the night._

 _The police box, home to one of the universe's important protector, was sailing into the darkness._

 _But its sails were crashing..._

 _Inside, the room was full of fiery explosions and destruction._

 _The owner, was dangling for his dear self from the flying police box._

 _"AaaaarrrrgggmmmmhhhhH!" The man grunted, with a tool in his clenched mouth._

 _The bursting police box goes up and then a sharp down to an unknown destination._

 _The man quickly lifts himself up to try to get a grip._

 _As he did, he took the thing out of his mouth and pointed his tool..._

 _*Wwwhhhiiirrrlll-BZzzzzT!*_

 _A lever was pulled down, and gave the box another sharp left to the west._

 _The man was out again, and holding for his dear life._

 _"WWWWWWHHHHHOOOOAAAAAA!"_

 _A bell tower was closer and closer._

 _"NNNNOOOTTTTAAAAGGGGAAAIIINNN!"_

 _By a fast turn of events, the box lifted itself more higher, saving the man._

 _"Phew!"_ _The man huffed._

 _He hastily went inside of the box, and as he did-he closed the doors..._

 _He sighed with relief._

 _The box jerked for another turn, and crash-landed._

* * *

 _Thirty years ago, Glass Shard Beach, a coastal area at New Jersey..._

 _The bird walks off, as two children-known twins, run by._

 _"Hehehehe! Wait up!"_

 _"Heh! Yeah, you should keep up."_

 _"I...I can keep up-Whoa!"_

 _Both children found a boarded-up cave._

 _"Neato!"_

 _"Mysterious, boarded-up cave! It might be filled with lost prehistoric life forms! Or mesoamerican gold!"_

 _"Uh, ladies first."_

 _Both punch each other and laugh._

 _The first kid tried to pull a board off of the cave, but fails and falls backward._

 _"Ha ha! Good thing you've got your smarts, **Poindexter**. I've got the other thing. What is it called? Oh, right, punching!" He punches through a board; looks at his hand, which now has splinters all over it, "Cool. Splinters!"_

 _"Whoa, it's so creepy in here!"_

 _"Hey, don't worry, bro. Wherever we go, we go together. Don't forget to leave our names so they know who owns the place."_

 _The first twin nodded as he wrote: **Stanley and Stanford Pines**_

 _"Pines! Pines! Pines! Pines!"_

 _Little did they know, such fateful adventures awaited them._

* * *

 _Present-day, Gravity Falls, a town in Oregon._

"Finally! After all these long years of waiting! It Worked! You're actually here!"

Grunkle Stan shouted happily, "Brother!"

His twin brother replied with a punch in the face. This made the Doctor grimaced with realization.

Stan shouted, "Oh! Ow! What the heck was that for?!"

"This was an insanely risky move: restarting the portal! Didn't you read my warnings?!" He shouted.

"Warnings, schmarnings. How's about maybe a thanks for both of us, me and Doc, by saving you from what appears to be, I don't know, some kind of sci-fi sideburn dimension that you fell in?" Stan talked back.

The Doctor quickly came up between them, "Actually, where he went, it was actually worse than that-"

"Thank you?" He paused, "You really think I'm gonna thank you after what you DID THIRTY YEARS AGO?! We were supposed to shut this down immediately!" He then shouted.

Stan raised his voice, "What I DID?! Why, you ungrateful... "

"WAIT! NONONONONO! NO!" The Doctor quickly went between them before more fighting breaks out. He held by their shoulders.

Stan spat, "Don't expect me to go easy on you, just because you're family!"

"Woah! Woah! Come on! Come ON!" The Doctor stated, "We got the **Mystery Trio** back together again! Well, almost-we need Fiddleford soon. Now! "Lovely" as it is, to have _you"_ The Doctor motioned to the man who came out of the portal. "Back on board again, _literally and metaphorically,_ we are going need now your present-self's help to stop a certain fiend."

The man suddenly snapped back to attention as he recoginzed the Doctor, "Doctor? B-But, How? You were in this too?"

The Doctor replied, "Before we ask questions, I believe we own these children an explanation..."

Mabel comes up, "Hey, hi. Mabel here. Quick question: YEAH! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!"

"Why, I didn't know the children were down here." He motioned to Soos, "And some sort of large, hairless gopher?"

Soos Ramirez giggled, "Heh heh. I get that a lot."

Stan explained, "They're your family, _Poindexter_. Shermy's grandkids!"

"I-I have a niece... and nephew?"

The Doctor grins, "Kids, greet your _grunkle_ Ford! Grunkle kinda sounds nice if you apply to it!"

Ford bents down to shake Mabel's hand, "Greetings. Do kids still say greetings? I haven't been in this dimension for a really long time."

"Language was always evolving, while you were gone..." The Doctor stated wistfully.

"Whoa, a six-fingered handshake? It's a full finger friendlier than normal!"

"Heha, I like this kid. She's weird!"

Dipper then spoke up, "I-I can't believe it. You're the **author** of the journals!"

He quirked an eyebrow, "You've read my journals?"

"I haven't just read them; I've lived them! I've been waiting for so long to meet you, I-I don't know what to say I have so many question! I-I I, Oooooohhh I think I'm gonna throw up. Hmmpf! No-no, false alarm. Hmmpf! Just gotta ride it out!"

The Doctor smiled, "He always wanted to meet you-"

"I see. Listen, there'll be time for introductions later. But first, tell me, Stan: are there any security breaches? Does anyone else know about this portal?"

"No, just us." The Doctor looked at him. Stan paused, "Also maybe the entire U.S. government."

"The what?!"

The Doctor pointed to the cameras' screens, "Yep! Gave me a diffcultity by trying to bypass them."

 _"Fan out! We're not going anywhere till we find those suspects and those kids!"_ Agent Powers shouted from the security screens.

The author sighed, "Okay. It's all right. We've got a while before they find this room. We just need to lay low and think of a plan."

"Well, it looks like we're stuck down here for a while. Who wants to tell us their entire mysterious backstory?" Mabel asked.

"Yes, I have some questions about this myself, _Stanley_!"

Dipper then questioned, "Stanley?"

"But your name is 'Stanford'..." Mabel added in.

"Whoops! Should have mentioned that!" The Doctor stated.

"Wait, you took my name?! What have you been doing all these years, you knucklehead?!" Stanford then yelled.

"Yeah, Grunkle Stan! You too who-ever-you-are!" He pointed to the Doctor, "No more lies! You owe us some answers: What's the deal with this portal? Why did you keep this a secret?"

"And what happened between you and your brother? And how long did you know about them, Doc?"

Soos jumps in, "I hope all this aligns exactly with my fanfic, Doc and Stan. If not, I will be very disappointed!"

"Okay okay okay, I guess have a lot of explaining to do. It all started... a lifetime ago..." Stan began.

* * *

 _Glass Shard Beach, New Jersy 1960s..._

"A shipwrecked sailboat, possibly haunted by pirate ghosts!"

"This is the greatest thing I've ever seen! And I've once seen a dead rat floatin' in a bucket!"

Young Ford Pines pushes him, "Hahaha, ew, what's wrong with you?"

"Huh, you know what this thing's missin'?" Young Stan Pines said.

"Flags!"

Soon enough, the twins are pushing the boat, which has their shirts hanging off the masts, down the beach.

Ford and Stan both called out, "Kings of New Jersey! Kings of New Jersey! Kings of New Jersey!"

"I dub thee: the Stan O' War!-Ow!" Ford was hit by a rock, "What the heck?"

A bully comes out, "Well, well, if it ain't the loser twins. Nice boat. Ya get it at the dump?!" He laughs.

"You would know, Crampelter! Get lost!"

"Listen, dorks, and listen good." He points at Ford, "You're a six-fingered freak!" He points at Stan, "...and you're just a... dumber, sweatier version o' him. And you're lucky you have each other because neither of you will ever make any friends! Ha, hahahaha! Dorks and losers..."

Ford shamefully looked at his hand. Ever since he was younger, he felt embrassed by his birth-defect.

"Hey. Don't let those idiots get to you."

"But I am a freak. I just wonder if there's anywhere in the world where weirdos like me fit in."

"Hey, chin up, buddy. Look!" He and Ford look at the sea, "One of these days, you and me are gonna sail away from this dumb town. We'll hunt for treasure, get all the girls, and be an unstoppable team of adventurers!"

"You really mean it?"

"High six?"

"High six."

Both then see a shooting star right across the sea...

"Huh, that's weird, shooting stars don't fly-"

 _"STAN PINES!"_

A shout interrupted Ford.

Young Stanford and Stanley looked at each other, _"He means you..."_

Filbrick Elmer Pines is a no-nosense father to both Ford and Stan Pines.

In this case, he is extremely furious, which can be an understatment to both Pines twins.

 _"So I come down to the pawnshop for a nice day of overcharging tourists for buffalo nickels-AND WHAT DO I SEE!?"_

" _An Archaeopteryx?"_ Young Ford asked.

" _BARF! LOTS OF BARF!"_

The angry father then motions to a broken glasscase, " _I FIND MY SWANKIEST GOLD CHAIN MISSING!"_

He hurls the blame on Stan, given his past history of taking things that wouldn't be his. A habit that is almost able to resist.

Soon enough, he gave both under twenty-four hours to find it to prove Stan didn't steal it.

The twins moped in their bedroom.

 _"Darn Pa, I'm innocent! Jewelry for girls and pirates! What would a weirdo want with that chain anyways?!"_

 _"Wait...weirdo..."_

Ford then takes out a magazine to find something that was familar...

It reads that a Jersey Devil would be a possible suspect since it was said to steal shiny objects or anything that was pleasing to the eye...

Soon the original mystery twins head out to find the unlikely-to-be-found monster...

However, instead it was more harder and...personal.

A duo of stuck-up kids who so-called themselves dectectives, called the Sibling Brothers, mocked both Ford and Stan...

They soon found themselves on the beach.

"Man, if they came across again-I would knock them off their _feet_!"

Ford then caught something by his glasses...

"Hey, what's that?"

A object read 'POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX', was halfway into the beach's sand...

"Whoa! What's that _outhouse_ doing out here?! And its blue?"

Intrigued, Ford pressed his six-fingered hand on it...

"It says to 'Pull to Open'...?"

The door suddenly opened, with bright yellow lights shining through.

"GAH! FORD!"

Both twins covered themselves-

"Hello! Gosh! Sorry about the landing!" A man stumbled out. He is certainly wearing a white buttoned shirt and pants, and being clumsy...

"Hello! Hello! Who are you two-HURK!" He breathed out, a wisp of yellow smog pumps out of his mouth...

Both twins were both stunned by this stranger's reaction...

"Urm, Ford-shouldn't we be somewhere else?"

Ford, however, was more interested in things that are out of normal...

"W-Who are you, sir?"

The stranger opened his mouth and closed them.

"I am...not sure..."

"Do you need a _doctor_ or..." Ford looked at the box, "...police?"

"AH! That's my name!" The Doctor shouted with joy, almost surprising the twins.

"I am the Doctor! OF COURSE! I am almost centuries years old, I am a Timelord with a time-traveling spaceship!"

* * *

 _Dipper, Mabel, and Soos looked at the Doctor, who then explained who he was..._

 _"So... you're... you're an alien?! But how?" Dipper stuttered._

 _Mabel was beyond astonished, "You are zillion years old?!"_

 _The Doctor blushed, "Oh, I wouldn't say that-but I am yes... I am from far beyond here, my planet is called Gallifrey, whereas the home to Timelords... and I don't think I remember how old I was..."_

 _He paused. "Or I might be lying-moving on!"_

* * *

"What's your name, sir?"

"My name is the Doctor."

"Doctor? But I thought it was a job, last time I checked... wait, are you here to pull my teeth?!" Stan freaked out.

"Gracious stars above! Never!" The Doctor stated. "I wouldn't do that ever since I visited O.K Corral!"

Ford thought of something, and asked him, "What were you puffing out? Are you part of a circus show that is downtown?"

The Doctor stopped, "...that was me being-" He looked at the two, "...hurt. I **regenerated** , basically a hot shower's aftermath. And, not at all! It's been a long time I visited P.T Barnum...wait." He stopped again. He looked at himself...

"Psst! Ford, maybe he can help us to find the Jersey Devil!" Stan whispered to Ford.

Ford asked their new-found friend. "Sir, can you help us?"

The Doctor looked solemn, "Well, like my dear old friend would say: _I will try my best..._ so what is it?"

"Say Doctor, is it okay we called you Doc? It seems more cooler!" Stan stated.

"Doc...Doc-What's up, Doc?"

The twins giggled.

The Doctor grinned, "I think I like that."

On the way to the circus, Ford explained about their father's missing gold necklance, and the mysterious Jersey Devil...

He also adds in that the clues lead up to the circus downtown; otherwise known as a freak show.

However, it was hostile at them first, believing them to be " _normies_ ".

But by Ford's hands, and the Doctor's statement of having two hearts, they were willing to share their knowledge of the four-legged legend.

It lead them up to a lighthouse, which was owned by a stubborn sea captain who refused to let anyone in, except for the Sibling Brothers.

The Doctor was now confused up to this point. "We pretty sure it's the afternoon at the lighthouse...unless-HURK!" The Doctor groaned as he fell face-flat on the ground.

"GAH, FORD! HE DIED!"

The Doctor lost brief consciousness...

 _"...just SHOVE IT!...OH MY GOD WE KILLED THE SIBLING BROTHERS! WE NEED A **DOCTOR**!..." _

Right on instant, the Doctor woke up. "I'm UP! I'M UP! KIDS?!"

"Doc! We thought you were dead-you fell face down!"

"Sorry, so sorry! This body is-*Burp*-pretty new for me...why you guys look different?"

As the twins bypassed the sea captain by using the Sibling Brother's clothes, they were up in the top room with the Doctor.

"It is six' o' clock...unless-"

" _Maybe it's an angle!"_ Ford determined.

"Great deduction! Hold-on the battery is brain-dead. But I can do this..."

 _*Wwwwwhhhhiiirrrlll-BzzzT!*_

He pulled out a tool out his pockets.

"What's that?" Stan questioned.

"A sonic-screwdriver! Anything can be analyzed with this-except wood." He paused, "There's our answer!"

He pointed at the cove.

Soon enough the Doctor ran, but with also two twins trailing behind him.

Ford was beyond excited. Working with his brother on a mystery, befriending an alien from outer space, and perhaps finding the cave of the so-called myth.

Stan was a bit glum.

"Why Stanley, wait seems to be a matter?"

Ford shined a light on them to see.

"Hey guys, _why do you think Pa is so hard on me? Do you think I'm a bad kid?"_

 _"What? No, it's just...you like taking shortcuts, and sometimes it gets you in trouble, y'know?"_

The Doctor caught Stan by the arm, "Careful! You almost fell in water..."

Stan briefly looked at his watery reflection.

" _It just sometimes feels like Pa hates me..."_

 _"Our old man just has a short fuse. No matter what anyone says, you're a good kid, Stanley..."_ Ford comforted Stan.

"Urm, Stan-I believe there is a critter-Yippe!"

Suddenly a possum belong to Stan grabbed Stan's flashlight...

"Watch out!" The Doctor called. "I'll get it!" Stan called.

 _"Wait, Stanley the light!"_

 _"Allow us!"_

Suddenly the Sibling Brothers in their white shirts and... _undergarments_ held up their lantern.

"And you might be dear fellows?" The Doctor asked, as he quirked an eyebrow.

"We're the Sibling Brothers, and we got something to show you!" They explained as they gave Ford a file with pictures...

...catching Stan in an act to steal their father's necklance.

Ford was speechless.

They explained further that the Jersey Devil was a ruse by sailors...

 _"Hey Sixer! Doc! Good news is I found the light! But there is bad news..."_

The Doctor sees the face of the monster known as the Jersey Devil.

"EVERYONE, RUN!" The Doctor shouted out.

He made sure that Stan ran up with Ford and the Sibling Brothers. He then turned around and distracted the monster.

"OI! You!"

The monster flew up to look on him. "Look at me! I am a target! Gosh, that was a long time I said that-"

It blew flames at him, "Argh! OUT! OUT! OUT!"

The Doctor ran where the Pines twins went, a carnival house.

While there Ford berated Stan for lying to him.

Stan sobbingly replied and confessed that he was using it as his father's birthday present, he marked the necklance: _1# Dad!_

The Doctor suddenly heard a crunching sound-the Jersey Devil broke through the building. He sees the exit.

"THIS WAY!"

Soon a chase was on.

The twins then tripped and screamed to the end that was befalling on them.

The Doctor wouldn't have none of it.

"Back! STAY BACK!" The Jersey Devil reared for another roar-

Until a net drops on him and the Doctor, "What the-!"

The Jersey Devil's trapped head knocked the Doctor head-on. "OOF!"

"Argh...!" The Doctor sees his vision upside down. Suddenly he sees Stan's pet near Ford...

The Sibling Brothers gave Ford an ultimatum: either the photos are given back to them which they can have the monster, or they can frame Ford for being Stan's accomplice...

The Doctor heaves himself out, the Jersey Devil groaned.

"Yeah, I feel you buddy..." The Doctor then whispered to Ford while trapped under the net, "Psst! Ford-the possum!"

Indeed, in clear defience to Sibling Brothers' cockness, Ford unleashed Stan's pet who bit the net free.

This freed both the Doctor and Jersey Devil out, and leaving Sibling Brothers very mad...

" _There's no room in this town for freaks like you!"_

The Doctor then looked at them, then to the Pines twins. All three grinned.

 _"Oh yeah?"_ Stan challenged.

Nearby, the leader of the freak show was not pleased, _"WHO YOU CALLIN' FREAKS!?"_

All chased after them. Both Ford and Stan walked back home, with a new friend...

* * *

Soon the Doctor and two were back where his time machine/spaceship crash-landed...

"Whoa! So is this really a time machine?" Young Ford asked.

"And a spaceship?!" Young Stan added in.

The Doctor grins cheekly, "Both! It is the **TARDIS**! **T-A-R-D-I-S!** **T** ime **A** nd **R** elative **D** imension **I** n **S** pace. For now..." He quickly scans the box.

"I think I can make an exception to stay around here...it is 1960s after all, not most people are interested in a crashed-"

"U.F.O?"

"Now that's pretty debatable, isn't it?" The Doctor smirked.

The Doctor looked around. "Say, would you be interested in looking inside in here?"

Both twins exclaimed, "YES!"

The Doctor grinned. "Very well-feast your eyes on this!" He opened the doors.

"It's-"

* * *

" _Bigger in the INSIDE!" Both now grown Ford and Stan stated, in front of Dipper, Mabel, and Soos. Though the tone seemed bitter, as time seemed to drifted them apart._

 _All three however were mystified._

 _The Doctor chuckled at their expense._ _Stan and Ford then looked at each other. Stan coughed, "So anyways..."_

* * *

In their lengthy explanations, both Stan and Ford described their adventures with the Doctor, when they were younger then high school. Ranging from solving mysteries and treasure hunting to paranoramal activity and alien invasions being thwarted were their daily journeys. As this continued in their high school, Ford was recognized by his brillance in academics, and thought to be accepted in a prestigious college, only if Ford can show what he mad of: his science project. However, that all changed when couple of invading aliens infiltrated their school.

Everyone presumed to be an accidental malfunctioning.

" _Everyone_ _is_ _safe now,_ _Doc_!"

" _Quickly block the exits, nicely done Stan-"_

 _Teen Ford spotted a quivering student._

 _"What-the?! Crampelter?!"_

 _The twins' cowering childhood bully stuttered, "T-t-they left me, my buddies-"_

 _The Doctor quickly pulled him by the collar to the exit, "School's out! RUN!" He ordered directly as he shut the exit door when the trembling student scurried outside._

In the end, Stan and Ford defeated them with the help of the Doctor. But unknownst to them, the project was damaged. Thus causing a chain reaction...

Mistakingly, Stan was thrown out...which was unbelievable that their father did not want any answers whatsoever...

 _"Whoa. So that explains all the fake residency and IDs," Mabel stated._

The Doctor helped Stan get back to his feet, and soon after Ford and young Fiddleford meet together, all soon teamed up to head for Gravity Falls... after they gotten themselves in certain misadventures such as Stan's prison time in Colombia... but somewhat curiously visited in many states of America...

 _Ford added, "As I went from undergrad to PhD three years ahead of schedule, wrote a thesis that was nationally ranked, and was awarded an enormous grant for my own scientific research. It got my thinking about anomalies: things that were odd, unusual, statistically improbable. And according to my investigations, there was one place with a higher concentration of these things than anywhere else. A small lumber town in roadkill country, Oregon: Gravity Falls. With my friend assistant and my brother as a great bodyguard, I set to work using my grant money to investigate the strange properties of this town, but what would we find here? I began to investigate at once. I knew I'd have to record my findings. I began to keep a journal..._

 _"THE JOURNALS!"_

 _Everyone stared at Dipper._

 _"Sorry, sorry, just got excited there... About the journals... Keep-keep talking."_

 _"I began to keep a Journal..."_

 _Dipper screamed._

 _"Just going to ignore that. There were anomalies everywhere. And the more we looked, the more I saw..."_

 _"And with the Doctor, more confrontations were inevitable..."_

They once come across a foul Zygon who freed himself from a nearby spaceship from a time crack...

Time cracks... it got Ford thinking.

 _"It was finally a place where I felt at home, but something nagged at me: where did it all come from? It seemed to me the answer must come from outside of our world, a dimension of weirdness leaking into ours. A time crack, as we discovered, appeared where we made our cabin: the real reason we asked the lumberjacks nearby to build around it..."_

 _The Doctor nodded solemnly, "...and made them forget it soon after..."_

 _Ford continued, "I realized the only way to understand Gravity Falls would be to build a gateway: **a portal to the source of its weirdness..."**_

 _"Which was a bad idea we all found out soonafter," The Doctor added. "This time crack was pretty pecuilar than other ones we found."_

 _"Yes... with Fiddleford McGucket-a young but brilliant mechanic who once used to waste his talent trying to make personal computers in some garage in Palo Alto, Stanley's strength to push the infrastructure in place..."_

 _"It was heavier than the time I did boxing!" Grunkle Stan commented._

 _"Along with the Doctor's knowledge to stabilize it...Many long nights were spent perfecting the machine. It would be a crowning achievement of my studies. An answer to the source of this town's anomalies!"_

 _"The time had come to test it..."_

* * *

The Doctor, Ford Pines, Stan Pines, and Fiddleford McGucket were standing in front of the portal with a dummy.

"Ready, and..."

They release the dummy, but a rope from it catches McGucket and he flies toward the portal, screaming.

"Wh-WATCH OUT!" The Doctor shouted.

"What?! Pointdexter, somethin' is happening!"

"We'll got ya, buddy!" Ford called. He pulls the rope with the others and McGucket and the dummy come out of the portal.

"What is it? Is it working? What did you see?!"

 _"Ahh! VOTMZRIG IVSKRX OORY!"_

 _"Fiddleford?"_

 _"When Gravity Falls and earth becomes sky, fear the beast with just one eye!"_

The Doctor narrowed his eyes... "Oh-No..."

"Fiddleford, get a hold of yourself, you're not making any sense."

"This machine is dangerous! You'll bring about the end of the world with this. Destroy it before it destroys us all!"

"I can't destroy this; it's my life's work!"

"Urm-Ford, he came out of that thing...I would agree with him..." Stan piped up.

"I fear we've unleashed a grave danger on the world. One I'd just as soon forget. I quit!"

* * *

 _The Doctor spoke, "After Fiddleford quitted, I went to my TARDIS to find tools to stop the portal... unforuntely something happened... right?"_

 _Ford and Stan both sorrowfully nodded, "I can still clearly remember it as if it was yesterday..."_

 _"Our fear of Bill divided us..."_

* * *

"A trans-universal gateway, a punched hole through a weak spot in our dimension. I created it to unlock the mysteries of the universe. But it could just as easily be harnessed for terrible destruction. That's why I shut it down and hid my journals, which explained how to operate it. There's only one journal left. And you are the only person I can trust to take it..." Ford gave Stan Journal 1.

"I have something to ask of you: you remember our plans to sail around the world on a boat?"

Stan nodded gleefully.

"Take this book, get on a boat, and sail as far away as ya can! To the edge of the Earth! Bury it where no one can find it!"

"That's it?! After ten years together, and it's to tell me to get as far away from you as possible!?"

"Stanley, you don't understand what I'm up against! What I've been through!"

"No, no. You don't understand what I've been through! We've been to prison in three different countries! I once had to chew my way out of the trunk of a car to save Fidds! You think you've got problems? We both got a mullet, Stanford! Meanwhile, where have you been **thinking?!"**

Stan pushed further, "-Living it up in your fancy house in the woods! Selfishly hoarding your college money, because you only care about yourself!"

"I'm selfish? I'm selfish, Stanley? How can you say that?! I'm giving you a chance to do worthwhile thing in your life to save the world and you won't even listen!

"Well, listen to this: you want me to get rid of this book? Fine, I'll get rid of it right now!" He takes out a lighter underneath the book.

"No!" His brother tried to grab the journal back, "You don't understand!"

"You said you wanted me to have it so I'll do what I want with it!"

"My research!" He tackles Stan, then runs for the journal, but Stan trips him. Ford runs after him, "Stanley, give it back!" He then pushes him onto some of the buttons.

Computer: **Accessing to full power...**

"You want it back, you're gonna have to try harder than that!"

The portal turns on all the way.

Suddenly Ford kicks him into the side of the control panel, branding the symbol onto his back. Stan screams and falls to the floor, "Stanley! Oh my gosh I'm so sorry! Are you alr-"

Stan punches Ford, who stumbles backward and trips over the lever. Stan follows him.

"Some brother you turned out to be. You care more about your dumb mysteries than your friends or FAMILY!? Well then YOU CAN HAVE 'EM!" He shoves Ford back into the portal light, and he starts getting sucked into it, "Whoa, whoa, hey, what's going on? Hey, hey, Stanford-"

"Stanley! Stanley, help me!"

"Oh, no, what do I do?!"

"Stanley! Stanley! Just remember to trust the Doctor! Don't trust Bi-!" He quickly throws Journal 1 at Stan and disappears into the portal.

A flash of white engulfs everything.

When it fades, Stan is lying on the floor.

"Stanford?"

Ford's glasses fall onto the floor.

Stan runs to the portal, "Stanford, come back! I-I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"

The portal turns off.

"I just got him back! I can't lose him! Ah, come on! STANFORD!"

* * *

 _Present-day, underneath the Shack..._

"I'd lost him. I didn't know if he was dead or alive in some distant galaxy, but I knew his journal must have the answer to getting him back. Somehow. I didn't get much sleep that night. Or the night after that. I tried for weeks to turn that dumb machine back on. But without the other two journals... it was hopeless."

Stan continued, "Doc told me it would be around twenty years, his awesome timeship couldn't even locate him... soon we worked together to bring the machine online... He helped me to contact with Shermie during family reunions... So I came up with a plan which the Doc agreed on. I couldn't leave my brother's house until I figured out how to save him, but I needed to pay his mortgage somehow. For once in my life, people were actually buying what I was selling. And so the Murder Hut was born! Later renamed the **Mystery Shack**. Finally I found something I was good at. For once being a liar and a cheat paid off. The old me was dead, and I'd faked a car crash to prove it. By day I was Stanford Pines: Mr. Mystery. But by night I was down in the basement, trying to bring the real Stanford back. I couldn't risk anyone learning the truth and sabotaging my mission, so I lied to everyone: the town, my family, your parents, even you kids..."

"So all this time you were just trying to save your brother. Grunkle Stan, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you."

Stan nodded, "That's okay, kid. I probably wouldn't have believed me either."

 _ **"I heard talking! It was coming from downstairs!"**_

Stan then looked up, "Oh no, it's too late, the agents are comin' for us!"

"What do we do?!" Mabel worriedly stated.

"Aw, man. I was so spellbound by your dramatic tale I forgot all about those dudes." Soos said.

Dipper suddenly remembered, "Wait, forget. That's it! I think I know a way we might be able to defeat those agents!" He takes a Memory erasing gun out of a bag and gives it to Stanford.

"Excellent idea!" The Doctor snapped his fingers.

Ford added, "Of course! I don't know how you got a hold of one of these but, this is perfect! If I can just amplify the signal to a radio headset frequency..." He plugs some wires into the gun and looks through some viewing glasses to see the agents running into the shack, "There. Now everyone PLUG YOUR EARS! GET DOWN! NOW!"

Everyone crouches and plugs their ears.

* * *

Trigger motioned to Powers, "Sir! Looks like there's a hidden door behind the vending machine!"

Powers grinned for the first time, "Excellent! Get me Washington on Line 1! I've been practicing sounds of excitement for this very occasion. Hey, do you hear that?"

A wave pulses through the shack and yard.

All agents held their heads as memories were erased from their minds...

"What? Where am I? Why am I standing in front of some sort of goofy fun knick-knack house?" Powers questioned.

"Stand down, gentlemen! I've been sent with the latest intel from Washington with Dr. John Smith here!" The Doctor comes foward with his usual psychic paper. "According to this very real report, the power surges in Gravity Falls were actually due to radiation from an unreported meteor shower. A total embarrassment for your whole department. Luckily I'm here to take this mess off your hands, but I'll need of all your... floppy disks, and 8-tracks...right?"

"Uh, everything about this case is contained on this drive." He motioned to Triggers.

Trigger hands Ford a flash drive labeled "PINES".

"Well, what are you waiting for, a kiss on the cheek? Get out of here before I have your butts court-martialed!"

"Uhh, yes sir. Apologies, sir!" He whistles, "False alarm, everyone!"

All government agents all leave. Ford feeds Gompers the flash drive, and the goat runs away with it in his mouth.

"Nice acting!" The Doctor commented.

"Thanks! And I have to say... running around the multiverse taught me things!" Ford stated.

The Doctor nods soberly.

Mabel runs out with Dipper, "Great uncle Stanford, that was amazing!"

Stan follows with Soos, "Let's not go crazy; it was serviceable."

Ford chuckles, "Thank you, kids, but please, call me Ford."

"Sure! Thanks, Great Uncle Ford. So, uh..." Dipper holds up a pen and notepad and clicks pen excitedly. "Would you mind if I ask you a couple billion questions about Gravity Falls?"

"Um, well I-uh..."

"All right, kids, it's been a long day and me and my brother have a lot to talk about. Why don't you hit the hay, huh?" Stan interrupts.

"But, it's the author! I've been waiting so long to ask questions about-

The Doctor spoke, "Not today... everything have been a rush hour..."

Soos pipes up, "I'll just... let myself out-"

"Wendy, I've got something amazing to tell you. Clear the next fourteen hours!"

* * *

Stan and Ford are looking at themselves in the mirror. The Doctor trails behind them.

"Fine looks as always, gentlemen?" The Doctor asked causually.

"Heh. Look at us. When did we become old men?"

"You look like Dad."

"Ugh, uck, don't say that."

Ford and Stan both laugh. The Doctor smiled. Even both went through time alot, they haven't lost their own selves...

"Okay, Stanley, here's the deal. You can stay here the rest of the summer to watch the kids. I'll stay down in the basement and try to contain any remaining damage. But when the summer's over, you give me my house back, you give me my name back, and this Mystery Shack junk is over forever. You got it?"

The Doctor then spoke up, "Ford, after many years for yourself being in **a war** I should have rescued you from but couldn't-he missed you. Like A Lot. Out of all selfless deeds he done, he did everything to speed up your arrival-"

Stan shots back, "It's okay, Doc... Ford, you really aren't gonna thank me, are you?-Fine. On one condition: you stay away from the kids; I don't want them in danger. Cause as far as I'm concerned, they're the only family I have left!" He walks upstairs, stops, starts to look back, then keeps walking.

Ford looks away.

The Doctor meanwhile sighs and goes to his TARDIS...

* * *

Mabel is standing by the door.

"Did you hear what they said? I think Grunkle Ford said they're gonna buy us puppies made of ice cream. Might be wishful thinking, though."

"I don't know if this is good or bad. I wanted to meet the author, but..."

"Yeah. I liked the way things were here before. Just us and Stan and the occasional caretaker."

"Eh, I'm sure they'll work things out. Doc known them... can't believe he lived a long time..."

"Dipper, you don't think we'll turn out like Stan and Ford, do you?"

"Well. What do you mean?"

"I mean, they used to be best friends, but then they got all stupid. Can you promise me you won't get stupid?"

"I'm not stupider than you, dum-dum."

Mabel laughs, "Good night, stupid."

"Good night, stupid." Dipper turns light off and closes eyes.

Mabel looks up nervously.

* * *

1 19-20-21-2-2-15-18-14 20-15-21-7-8 14-5-23 10-5-18-19-5-25 14-1-20-9-22-5. 6-9-12-2-18-9-3-11 23-1-19-14'20 20-15-15 3-18-5-1-20-9-22-5. 8-1-22-9-14-7 20-23-9-14-19 23-1-19 14-15-20 8-9-19 16-12-1-14 19-15 8-5 10-21-19-20 19-8-18-21-7-7-5-4 1-14-4 14-1-13-5-4 2-15-20-8 19-20-1-14.

13-1-14-25 4-1-25-19 2-5-6-15-18-5 19-21-13-13-5-18 19-8-1-12-12 5-14-4. 19-15 23-9-12-12 20-8-9-19 19-20-15-18-25.


	33. Chapter 33

_**Dungeons, Dragons-Oh My!**_

After the giant revelation from before, everyone took a break to relax from it. Mabel Pines blows bag of Cheese Boodles into the air, bag slowly drifts down, "I just ate a bag of Cheese Boodles without using my hands. Lazy Tuesday, you are delivering in a big way!"

"Heh. Yeah. It's nice to finally have a day where nothing interesting happens whatsoever-"

 _ **KA-BLAM!**_

Ford Pines comes out of the vending machine door with a Cycloptopus on his wrist.

The Doctor shouted, "What-In-The-Name-of-The-Universe-is-that?! A Skaro mutant?!"

"Get down! Don't let it taste human flesh!" Ford punches it and it drops off his hand crawls around the room.

"What is it?!"

"Can we keep it?"

Stan hits it with a rolled up newspaper, "Kill it! Kill it!"

Ford chases it into the corner, "Patience... and-"

When the cycloptopus' eye turns into a screaming mouth. "Gotcha!" he hocks it with his gloves and holds up its burnt body.

"Great. Now get it outta here. It smells like if death could barf!"

Dipper runs over to Ford with Journal 2, "Great uncle Ford! You need any help with that? I've read all about these creatures in your journal, and I think I know how to-'

"No! I'm sorry, Dipper, but the dark weird road I travel, I'm afraid you cannot follow."

He pauses, "Well, call me for dinner!" He closes the vending machine door behind him.

"Maybe next time then? Or not? Or never."

"Aww, Dipper, don't take it so hard."

Stan swats Dipper with a newspaper, "No, do take it hard. Take it hard and serious. My brother is a dangerous know-it-all, and the stuff he's messing with is even worse. Do yourself a favor and stay away from his work, you hear me? Don't want to lose you, like I did to him for thirty years..."

"But, Grunkle Stan, all summer long I've wanted to know who the author of the journal was. Now the guy lives in our basement and I can't even talk to him."

"Don't worry about what's in the basement. You belong up here with us!" He motioned to him with Mabel and the Doctor.

"Yeah! Besides, the season finale of Duck-tective is airing this Friday! That's all the mystery you'll need this week. Quack with us, Dipper! Quack, quack quack quack..."

"Huha, yeah! Quack quack, quack quack..."

"Quack quack quack, a quack quack quaaaacck. Quuaaaaa-Why isn't he quacking?"

"I don't think that's how you say 'hello' in duck" The Doctor stated. "Well-then! I'll be in my TARDIS, if you kids want to explore it again...still need to see if it works after working that portal-zip! Crash! Zoom! Never mind that's confusing being a screwball jones, or the multiversity!"

* * *

The Doctor went into the attractions area.

He took a moment to view his own "home": The TARDIS.

Ever since he crashed in state of New Jersey, he remembered the adventures with young Stan and Ford.

But time was harsh on them...

Gravity Falls was promising, as they meet up with Fiddleford McGucket, who was also interested of the Doctor's bio.

 _"Say Stanford, I wonder if you're interested in writing catalogs down here... instead of losing post-its..."_

 _"Doc, have you seen my glasses?"_

 _"Over there!"_

Then came a scam that almost costed the Doctor's vulnerability...and it costed his friend to be trapped in one of the Doctor's greatest regrets.

 _"Doc? Mind if I use your wardrobe quick? I need an icon for my new-invented Mystery Shack!... Look what I found! I found a full stack of them!"_

 _"Keep it, it suits you... Fezzes are cool..."_

He sighed. But being the caretaker to the Pines Family soonafter was fulfilling...

He spotted Mabel humming as she 'wrote' to her parents about the 'events' that happened.

" _Are you cold, Mabel? Here, I think this suits you..."_

The Doctor scratched his neck... the Pines couple stopped traveling with him after it proved almost too dangerous...

 _The girl who waited... The_ _Lone Centurion... demons run..._

He then looked at Wendy Corduroy, one of high school students he taught uniquely...

 _Just like her...never mind-_

The Doctor opened his TARDIS.

 _Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and... Wendy were in front of the police box._

 _"So is it true?"_

 _"Yeah! They once traveled with you! Can we see it?"_

 _The Doctor frowned. "You wanted to see my TARDIS?"_

 _All nodded._

 _"MY TARDIS?!"_

 _All looked at each other._

 _The Doctor then landed his usual composure, "Oh sure. But don't touch anything... or say to no one..."_

 _"It's-"_

 _"BIGGER IN THE INSIDE!" Everyone shouted_

 _"I love when they do that" The Doctor said._

 _"So...should we go for a ride?"_

 _The Doctor perked up._

 _"Back to the dinosaurs, again?" Dipper excitingly stated._

 _Mabel added, "Maybe a l_ _ittle witch academy, or stopping space-villains uniting with a hero Trip, and Land of Oddventure Land!"_

 _The Doctor stated, "That's a little vague-BUT as a time-traveler, I would say: NOT Yet!"_

 _He looked at them. "Cause we have other adventures to go to-"_

 **KA-ZAM!**

The Doctor quickly ran out of his console room and into the TV room. A loud noise was heard from there.

* * *

 _"...Ah-ah! But I can show you something I brought back with me: An infinity-sided die."_

 _"Woah... that's so cool. And... impossible!"_

 _The die was ranged with numbers and symbols. Some are familar... some are complex..._

 _"These things are outlawed in 9,000 dimensions. You wanna know why? Look at those symbols. Infinite sides means infinite outcomes. If I rolled it, anything could happen. Our faces could melt into jelly. The world could turn into an egg. Or you could just roll an eight. Who knows. That's why I have to keep it in this protective cheap plastic case. Now, back to the game! You've got the H_ _eavenly_ _Handicraftsman on the ropes-"_

Until an arguement broke out between Stan and Ford again on playing it...

The die rolled into a figure... with a Mandarin clothing...

The Doctor ran in as a bright flash engulfed everyone.

He stared in horror, as the familar antagonist with Dipper's favorite game's characters surrounding him.

"Thank you, my dear **toys.** You may be the mere playthings for someone else, yet I shall play with you!"

Stan grunted, "Eh, is this normal?"

Dipper stammers, "H-Have you come to send us on the quest of a lifetime because we're the smartest players you've ever met?

"One way to say that, but I have something else better: a GAME!"

The ogre next to him shouted, "It's his thing!"

"What?!"

"Seize them!"

Ford takes out his gun, "Your craftmanship is no match for my gun, you idiot!"

The Doctor shouted, "GET DOWN!"

The mysterious enemy fired a bolt which blasted the back of the Mystery Shack; only this time-it seemed to be a typical dark fantasy forest.

"As the delivery is given, Doctor-you have a chance to play with me! A test for preparation that shall come: To save this wandering traveler who once came back home and his distant nephew, or lose in this reality of mine!"

The griffon beside him takes Ford and Dipper and flew...

Grenda spoke up, "So, the room's free now. Who wants to watch Duck-tective? Nobody? More couch for Grenda!"

"I'm afriad we unleashed something even more sinster... and we're not even in our world..."

The Doctor picks up the board game's box...

 **"The Celestial Toymaker!"**

* * *

"Oh no! That crazy guy is going to kill our brothers' brains! We have to stop 'em!"

"Eh, maybe let 'em get a couple in Ford's brain first. Even things out smartness-wise."

"Grunkle Stan!"

"Alright, alright. I guess if we have no other choice, we'll go on a... an epic wizard quest."

Mabel and Grenda shout, "YAAAAYY!"

"Everyone grab a weapon!"

The Doctor readies his screwdriver, "Well, it's still a reproduction of the world we were in..."

Stan finds a bat in this world's couch cushion, Mabel takes a rake, and Grenda lifts up a chair.

"Heh. Nice!"

"We're coming for you, Dipper! And Great uncle Ford! And possibly that hot elf, if he's got anything to do with this..."

"Let's GO!" The Doctor shouted.

They run off into the forest.

* * *

"My goodness, it seems that you are now finally in my grasp... who knows I would give you to my dear friend who is ready to claim this world..."

"If my hands were free, I'd break every part of your face!" Ford growled.

Meanwhile, the Doctor, Grenda, Mabel, and Stan are walking through the forest.

Stan slaps his back, "We must be getting close. These fairy bites are getting more frequent."

The Doctor looks at the sign... that just appeared in front of them...

Suddenly, the DD&D game's ogre stomps in front of them, "Halt! Yon interlopers are trespassing on the! If ye wish to pass, first, ye must complete seven unworldly quest, each, more difficult than the-"

"NO!" Grenda hits him on the head with the chair and he collapses.

Mabel pokes his foot with the rake, "Is he... dead?"

"He's magic, sweetie. I'm sure he's fine." He motions to Grenda and the Doctor. "There's no cops in the forest. We take this to our graves."

* * *

"Well then... seems your resucers are close... though I am powerful-I cannot claim this world, your precious Doctor need to pass my test if he is still-"

He paused for an effect, "Worthy as this world's protector..."

Dipper panics, "What do we do? What do we do?!"

"Stop thinking, Dipper! The more wrinkly your brain gets, more the situation gets **harder!"**

"And now, just for fun!" He leaned to his prisoners, "A little math problem: IF I subtract your brain from your skulls, add salt, and divide your family, what's the remainder?

Mabel shouted, "URANUS!"

"Well-well. Doctor, you brought your own _fighters._ Let's finish-shall we?"

Grenda, Mabel, Stan, and the Doctor all shout and jump out of the bushes.

"Very well. There's only one way your family can save you. YOU must defeat ME in Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons: REAL LIFE EDITION!"

"What? Oh, come on!"

"I choose my characters...vs... "

Dipper and Ford appear as elf characters in his hand, "yours..."

"Ah! My ears! They're so pointy!"

"There better be something protective under this tunic. Oh, no, there isn't!"

Stan groaned, "Seriously, can't we just, like, arm wrestle or something?"

The Doctor advised, "Be wary! He wants to win-and he always win!"

The Toymaker held an apple, "Oh please, Doctor-you're lucky I cannot make you mute this time! And you, Stanley Filbrick Pines-you are a real gambling man, aren't you?"

Stan growled, "Uh, just make with the rules, ugly." He chews gum.

"The game is a battle royale. We help our characters by casting spells determined by rolls of the dice. If you win, I'll go back to my own realm...But if I win, I shall keep all of you as my toys!"

Dipper worryingly states, "Hey, I'm not sure this is such a good-"

Stan snaps his fingers, "DEAL!"

"Oh boy."

"Let the games... BEGIN!" He rolls a 13, "Attack!" Suddenly the ogres turned into terracotta soldiers or medival knights with bicycles along with hooking household objects and plates, which they try to slice Dipper and Ford with their swords.

"Ah! Whoa!"

"Ah!"

"What do we do? What are our moves?!"

"There are no moves; you make them up!"

Stan was perplexed, "What? Really?"

Ford answered, "Yes! I tried to tell you: this game involves math, but also risk, and imagination!"

The Doctor adds in, "Well-let's do this!"

"Risk?"

"Imagination? Grunkle Stan, make something up! It's just like lying!"

"I cast, uh... shield of... shielding!" Rolls a 14 and a shield appears in front of Dipper and Ford, "Ha! We're doing it!"

"Stronger Force spell!" Rolls dice and the soldiers grew more stone-like and destroy the shield.

"I cast: Giggle Time Bouncy Boots!" Mabel rolls dice and boots with springs appear on Dipper and Ford.

Dipper and Ford jump over them.

"Hot flamey sword!" A sword appears in Dipper's hands, "Super hot flamey sword!" The sword gets longer.

Dipper jumps over the enemies and and destroys it with the sword. Ford kill the rest with a sword.

"No! Drat you! You'll never outrun my DEATH COASTER! It is what is sounds like!" The machinary destroy Dipper's and Ford's swords.

"I cast: CENTAURTAUR! YAH!" She rolls the dice and a horse with another horse body for a head appears.

"Mabel, I am so confused and so proud right now!"

"Same here!"

Dipper and Ford get on the centaurtaur and it runs away from death coaster.

"Go go go, Dipper go! You can do it!"

"Come on, you guys! Go! Go!"

The centaurtaur runs into a smaller room and disappears. The machinary tries to follow but, "Rolling...and it falls!" The Doctor proclaims.

"Yeaahh!"

"Yes!"

Suddenly, a monster picks up Dipper and Ford, "Hahaha yes! I was saving the worst for last!" The Celestial Toymaker croned, believing he won.

"Oh no!"

"The Impossibeast! Hey, I thought they banned this character!"

"Think again! I'm using the controversial 1991-1992 edition!" The Impossibeast slams Dipper and Ford against the wall. The Toymaker smirked.

"I'll think of some weapons!"

"Maybe a super-car that goes chitty-chitty-bang-bang!?"

"You don't understand. This is the most powerful monster in the game! He can only be defeated by rolling a perfect 38! But the odds of that are-"

Stan takes the die from Mabel and shakes it, "Hey, long odds are what you want when you're a world class gambler! Alright, Stan, you can do this... Papa needs a new pair of... TWINS!"

He throws the die...

The Celestial Toymaker expects it to be a wild gesture...

...but it was indeed a 38.

"WHAT! NOOO! IMPOSSIBLE!" The Toymaker pulls himself up and boomed.

"Sorry, nerd-wizard! All your smarts are no match for dumb luck!"

"YOU CH-

Mabel interrupts him, "I cast DEATH MUFFINS!" Muffins with dynamite sticking out of them appear in Dipper and Ford's hands.

Dipper and Ford throws the death muffins into the Impossibeast's mouth.

Impossibeast explodes in muffins.

"Yes!"

"Yeeaah!"

Dipper and Ford, holding muffins, appear next to them in their normal clothes.

Mabel hugs Dipper, "Hahaha!"

The Doctor holds the board game he carried along, "The game is over... come on..."

" **NO! I SHALL NOT ACCEPT THAT!"** The Toymaker boomed as if he pranced as a tempered child, he reared up above all. "HE WILL RETURN, DOCTOR! _YOU ARE ALL MINE NOW-!"_

He dives down into where everyone are, but right on, the Doctor pulled out the board game that seemed to swallowed his full grown body-then Ford quickly helps by closing the lid.

"He's gone...he's gone..." The Doctor gasped.

To prove it, the world around them shattered and they were back in the Mystery Shack. The Doctor opened the board game, which only contained its materials...

"Grunkle Stan, that was amazing! How did you know you'd win?" Dipper asked.

"Hey, a gambler never reveals his secrets." He picks up the die, which has gum stuck to the bottom and starts chewing some new gum.

"Man! That was fun for ages 8 to 80! Or a million or however old you guys are!"

" Y'know, I'm sorry for making fun of your game, kiddo. Sure, it might be too nerdy for me, bust it's just the right amount of nerdy for you and my brother. If you two wanna hang out sometimes, I won't get in your way."

"Actually, after all that, I could use a little mindless fun."

"Guys! We can watch the second showing of Duck-tective! It's not too late! (Squeaks Duck-tective toy)

* * *

Soon the Doctor, Dipper, Mabel, Grenda, Stan and Soos in the living room at night watching Duck-tective.

 _"I'm going to that big pond in the sky."_

"I just don't understand who shot you. The only person clever enough to defeat Duck-tective is-Duck-tective!"

Someone throws a bedpan at Constable's head, knocking him out.

 _"Thanks to the time machine-it's time to finish the job... TWIN BROTHER!"_

"He had a twin brother all along? That's the big twist we've been waiting for!?"

The Doctor added, "This gives me a bit of deja vu..."

"WHAT A RIP-OFF!"

"I predicted that, like, a year ago!"

* * *

Soon after, Dipper and the Doctor meet Ford down in the basement.

Ford locks the infinity-sided die away, "This'll be here if you ever need it. Though it will be a long time, since I encountered that being in my travels..."

"Agreed" The Doctor added.

"Really? Even though I got us into the whole game-playing mess?"

"Eh, we all got carried away. I guess we'd both gone for awhile without a friend. Dipper, can I tell you something?"

Dipper nods.

"You asked me earlier what I was working on. Well-Doc?"

"Sure" The Doctor opened the drapes to the window of the portal room, "I!edismantled the portal. An interdimensional gateway is too dangerous for the world it feeds into."

"I was saved but, as I feared, the instability of the machine created this," He holds up a transparent sphere with a blob in it, "An interdimensional rift. I've contained it for now, but it's incredibly dangerous. Dipper, I don't want you to tell anyone about this. Not Stan, not even your sister. You understand?"

"Oh-uh, of course."

"In my time I've made many powerful enemies, but I trust you with this secret. Now get yourself to bed. I have much research to do."

"Goodnight, Great uncle Ford. Goodnight, Doctor."

"Goodnight, Dipper." He puts the rift away.

The Doctor chuckled, "He reminded you of a bit, eh Ford?"

Ford sighed, "A lot, actually. I am afriad Doctor-You said he gained control over you. What if he does again?"

The Doctor stated nonchantly, "We'll be ready... I hope.

* * *

5-24-3-5-12-19-9-23-8-1-20-5-22-5-18! 6-21-14 1-14-4 7-1-13-5-19 1-18-5 7-18-5-1-20 4-9-19-20-18-1-3-20-9-15-14-19 2-21-20 19-13-1-12-12 20-8-9-14-7-19 3-1-14 8-1-22-5 3-8-1-9-14 18-5-1-3-20-9-15-14-19 19-21-3-8 1-19 20-9-13-5 20-18-1-22-5-12.

20-8-5 3-5-12-5-19-20-9-1-12 20-15-25-13-1-11-5-18: 1-12-12 9-19 6-21-14, 21-14-20-9-12 25-15-21 1-18-5 20-8-5 20-15-25. 22-15-20-5 6-15-18 8-5-3-20-15-18 23-5-3-20-15-18 18-5-3-20-15-18 15-14 20-8-5 3-15-21-14-3-9-12 2-15-1-18-4!


	34. Chapter 34

**_That Sharp N_** ** _ominee_**

Stan wakes up as he sees the ceiling of the Mystery Shack.

"Alright Stan, another day, another random body pain. Here we go. Ugh!"

Finds a note on his desk that reads: _"Dear Stan, I need something to carry milk in so I used your slippers. Love, Mabel."_ Stan shudders and walks into the kitchen and tries to turn on a light but the light bulb bursts. He groans and goes to find a new light bulb but finds that the box is empty except for a note that reads: _"Dear Stan, I took these to build a planetarium suit for Soos! Sorry! Dipper."_ Stan grumbles and crumples the note.

* * *

Stan is waiting in line in a grocery store at the checkout counter with light bulbs. Robbie, Lee, Tambry and Nate show up behind him.

"Whoa, let's not take this line. There's an old person in it."

"Psh, yeah. He's probably gonna pay with like, pennies and, war bonds."

"Hey! For your information, I was gonna shoplift most of this."

"Security!"

Security guards rush to Stan, "Ha! Smoke bomb!" Stan throws smoke bombs on the floor that reads "Expire 11/1996"; nothing happens. "Aw, seriously?" The security guards tackle Stan. "GGAhh!"

* * *

Stan comes home bruised with the box of light bulbs.

"Ugh. Rough start to a day... But it's all gonna be worth it when I fix that light bul-"

Stan walks in to see Ford screwing in a light bulb with Dipper, Mabel, and Soos.

"And... we're... done!" Ford announced.

Dipper, Mabel and Soos all cheer.

"Does anyone see this? This is what a hero looks like right here."

"Urm-I thought we were out of light bulbs."

Ford replied, "Oh we were, so I invented my own! It will last a thousand years and the light it emits makes your skin softer!"

Dipper, Mabel and Soos rub their skin, "Oooh!"

"Never have I known such softness!"

"Anyway, where were you?"

Stan drops new light bulbs in the trash; goes to the TV and picks up the remote, "Well, TV at least you appreciate me. Give me the good news."

 _"This just in, the mayor is dead."_

"What?!"

Dipper walks in with Mabel, "Whoa, what's going on?"

 _"Raised by bears in the wilderness, Mayor Eustace Huckabone Befufftlefumpter was best known for raising the water tower, attending Farringham School for Boys in England, serving World War I, and putting town menace Gideon Gleeful behind bars, in actual adult prison. A memorial statue is already being carved in the deceased mayor's honor... I'm sorry. It's just been so long since we've had real news. I'm just so happy!"_

 _"There will be a town hall meeting this afternoon to discuss replacing him."_

"New mayor huh? Wonder who it could be..." He sees his reflection in the TV.

Meanwhile, the Doctor goes across the room with a Stetson hat, "Howdy," He remarked rather morbidly.

* * *

Soon all the citizens of Gravity Falls in the Town Hall.

The Doctor is wearing a white shirt, black pants and tie. He is also wearing a Stetson. It seems if he was mourning...

"Alright. Order! Order everyone! Calm down now! We're here to choose a mayor for the first time in almost a century. According to the town charter, a worthy candidate is defined as anyone who can cast a shadow, count to ten, and throw their hat into the provided ring."

Deputy Durland brings out a hoop and places it on the floor; Bud Gleeful immediately throws his hat in it.

"Well now I do believe I fulfill all the requirements." Bud annouced.

"Wait, Bud Gleeful?"

"He looks good! Considering we threw his son in jail."

Stan sits back, "That was a good day."

The Doctor mutters, "M-hm."

"Now folks, I know our families had its fair shares of whoopsie daisies in the past, but I'd like to make up for it by formally announcing my candidacy for the mayor of Gravity Falls! Any questions?"

Toby Determined asks, "Yes, are you still in contact with Lil' Gideon?"

"That's a great question, I'm giving you 50% off a used car."

"Fifty percent?! FIFTY PERCENT?!" He rips his notepad in half.

"In fact, everyone look under your seats." He points at people in the crowd as if he's a TV hostess, "You get half off a used car! You get half off a used car! Everyone get a half off used car!"

Mabel pulls out a car discount coupon from under her chair, "Wow, a colorful piece of paper? He's got my vote!"

"Guys, I've got a really bad feeling about Bud Gleeful as mayor." Dipper said.

"I dunno, dude, it's not like we have a lot of good mayor options. Everyone in this town is a tad strange! Except, ironically, _tad strange!"_

The Doctor chirps, _"Hi guys, Tad's the name, and being normal's my game!"_

Mabel jokes along, "Loving you, _Tad_!"

"And I love fish fingers and custard!"

Dipper comments, "It's a shame Ford isn't here, he'd run. And win! And be a great mayor!"

"So since everyone's happy I'll just take the oath of office now, sound good, gavel up?" Stan suddenly throws his fez in the hoop, and everyone gasps.

"Hold it right there Bud! I'm taking you on!"

The Doctor whistles.

"Stanford? No o-ffence but you're just some two-bit carnival barker. And your head is more ears than face!"

"Oh yeah? Well your face is more fat... than... not fat!"

"Audible Gasp!" The Doctor chuckles.

"Whaddya say folks? Are we just gonna let Bud win? How about a real election!"

Tyler Cutebiker stated, "Get in there, sir!" A man threw his cap. Everyone throws their hats in.

"Well, looks like we've got some competition here folks. Which I'm fine with, totally fine with! _I was gonna let bygones be bygones Stan, but you just made a powerful enemy. I'll win either way, and when I do, you might not like the Gravity Falls you wake up in_!" He punches out the Mystery Shack on a map of Gravity Falls hanging on the wall.

Dipper and Mabel both gasp.

"Election! Election! Election!"

"Let the madness begin!"

"Grunkle Stan, what are you doing?"

"Running for mayor! Did I... did I not make that clear?"

"Grunkle Stan, it's not that we think you can't do it, it's just—"

"No no, it's okay, Mabel. We don't think you can do it."

"Look, kids. The mayor kicking the bucket got me thinking. I'm an old man, and I'm not getting any younger. My dumb brother's research is probably gonna make him famous. And what do I have to show for my life? Do I really want "crooked grifter" on my tombstone? How about, "crooked mayor"!"

"Psst, Mabel, let's talk. I know Stan isn't the best candidate. Heck, he's committing voter fraud right now. But Bud's definitely up to something, and we're the only ones who can stop him."

"You're right, Dipper. Besides, Stan has a kind-of charisma. How hard could getting him elected be?" Dipper takes off his pine tree cap and they both reach for matching hats and put on "Vote Stan" campaign stickers.

The Doctor lifts his hat, "What's the next action, Ms. Congresswoman?"

* * *

The Mystery Shack, which now has a sign over "Mystery," reading "Mayorly Shack." There are several U.S. flags and "Vote Stan" signs all over. Waddles is with Wendy, who has written on Waddles' body "SWINES 4 PINES" on one side and "BUD'S A DUD" on the other.

"Spread the word, pig!" Waddles runs off.

"Alright everybody, eyes up here! Okay, Gravity Falls Elections are based on two events. The Wednesday Stump Speech, held on an actual... stump, and the Friday Debate wherein townsfolk throw birdseed at the candidate they like most. At the end, they release a freedom eagle who will fly to the candidate covered in more seed and bestow a birdly kiss upon him anointing him mayor. I couldn't make this up if I wanted to."

"On Gallifrey, it's either a life sentance given to you until someone overthrows you..." The Doctor commented.

Phone rings in the "Phone Bank."

"Okay Grunkle Stan, are you ready for your first radio interview?"

"I got my mouth, don't I?"

"Okay you're on with the candidate."

 _"You're listening to Falls Radio: 24 hour news and bear rampage alerts, and now here's the T-man."_

 _"Hello! Candidate Stan first question: How do you feel about the American flag?"_

"Meh, I can take it or leave it, too many stripes. Next question!"

 _"What would you do to help educate our kids?"_

"Ha, simple. Put them on an island and make them fight for dominance. Also teach kids swears. That'll bring them to the real world."

"Someone save Waddles!" The Doctor stated.

 _"What would you do about the crime in Gravity Falls?"_

"Wait, do you mean crime in general, or just the specific crimes committed by m-"

Dipper cuts off phone line with scissors, "Okay, interview's over. Candy, what's the damage?"

"Your approval ratings started at zero. Now it's a number lower than zero!"

Wendy adds in, "You're meme-ing fast, and none of them are good." Shows a cutway sci-fic scene: _Why The Hell-You Teach the Kids to Swear?!_

"Look Grunkle Stan, people are like smell markers, and you're black licorice! It's not that you're un-sniffable, you just need to learn when to keep the cap on."

"From now on, maybe you should read our prepared remarks." He holds up a folded piece of paper with "YOUR SPEECH" written on it with drawings by Mabel.

"Heh heh. Sorry kids. I always say words that come out of my brain. If my head says, that lady's got an ugly baby, my mouth says, " _whoa, lady, you got one ugly baby!_ "

"Brutal honesty, spoken like a true politician, eh kids?" The Doctor looked at them, "Forget the truth teeth, I am guessing this is a real deal..."

* * *

Dipper and Mabel look at each other worriedly; down to the basement, where Dipper is pacing around.

"And he's insisting on speaking his mind!"

Ford scratches his chin, "So this is an emergency."

"The Stump Speech is in a couple of days, and if he continues like this, we'll lose to Bud for sure!"

"Hmm. It's a shame there isn't some device that will allow you to control someone else. Oh. Wait. Of course, yes. There is!" He shows Dipper a striped tie, "A long time ago I designed a prototype for Ronald Reagan's masters. Just get Stan to wear this, and you can make him a literal talking head."

Dipper peers inside the tie, "Whoa! This is amazing! And ethically ambiguous!"

Ford takes out another tie that is darker, "As long as you wear the matching one, he'll say and do whatever you want him to."

Dipper holds up both ties, "Thank you Great Uncle Ford!"

"Yes, yes. Use it responsibly and all..."

* * *

Eventually the plan works, as the twins mind-control their grunkle to win approval.

Newspapers shown that Stan eventually gets the town's support and takes the lead. Bud is slamming the newspaper down in frustration.

"Gah! Darn it! Gosh hand huckleberry honey suckle darn it! Erm, excuse my language I'm so sorry. Oh, this is bad! This is real bad! I need to speak with my campaign manager, please excuse me for a moment..."

Soon enough, he enters a room, "Look, I'm sorry about all this. This is a minor setback, but... we'll win. I'm sure of it."

"Minor setback? Minor setback!? You listen daddy and you'll listen good. Prison is a nightmare!" Gideon slams his fists down and Bud backs away from the screen, "I eat the same slop everyday! They have no hair products in here! I can't sleep 'cause my cellmate took my pillow for a wife! You think I've been having fun in here?!"

He continues, "The mayor dying is my one ticket out of here. Which is why you're gonna win this election, pardon me out of prison and we're not gonna let the Pines, get in my way again!"

"But-but you don't understand. He's doing great in the polls! It's almost like magic!"

"Hmm, magic, you say? Well, maybe it's time to fight fire with fire! Mr. H! I believe everything is in motion."

Bud was confused, until the person stepped out of the dark...

"Say, who the-Why! You are Cutebiker's running mate-ACK!"

The person grabbed him by the arm, and stared at him...

Bud felt if he is going into a drawn sleep.

* * *

After the Doctor pays his respects to the Mayor he once known long-ago, he goes out and hears an arguement...

"-I am taking this seriously! If you haven't noticed, everything that has come out of this golden mouth has put us on top! With or without your dumb advice!" Stan shouted.

"Dumb advice?!"

"Yeah! Dumb advice."

Dipper slams fists on table then stands up, "Dang it, Stan! Every one of those speeches we were controlling you!"

"Dipper!"

"What?"

"This tie is a mind control device invented by Ford! If it wasn't for this tie, you'd be losing!" He peels back the front layer of the tie to reveal the circuitry in it.

Stan was in disbelief, then shaking with ange, " Well, you can tell that know-it-all Ford that he can keep his fancy light bulbs and magic ties! I'm gonna win this debate on my own, without any of you!"

"Stan, wait! You can't-"

Stan slams the door shut. "Augh, this is bad. If we wanna beat Bud, we need another candidate, fast!"

"What we need is a blank slate, someone totally suggestible! An empty piece of clay we can mold to our whims."

"Are you guys alright?" The Doctor comes on in. "I mean-mind controlling Stan, I am guessing it's not a right idea."

Both twins sighed with guilt.

"However, there is indeed something going on" The Doctor stated. "I need your help..."

He motioned up at where the Mayor's memorial is.

"Bud is taking certain trips up there, cover me..."

* * *

Mayor Befufftlefumpter's memorial ends as it moves to the stage where the final debate takes place.

"Seed here! Support your favorite candidate by throwing election seed!"

"Welcome all to the final debate in what sure to be on a cosmic scale a forgettable blip in human history And here come the three most popular candidates!"

Bud (who seemed a bit off) faced down with Stan. His fingers taps four times in a rhythm...

"Oh, hello there Stanford! Long time, no see! Tee-hee! Woohoohoo!"

"Oh, don't you tee-hee me. I'll debate you into the ground."

"Oh, but I have a wittle twist up my sweevy-weeves."

"You're making me very uncomfortable right now."

"Let the debate begin!"

"First question! What's your position on axes! Wait, I mean-taxes!" Manly Dan roared.

"Easy! Taxes are the worst. I propose we stimulate the economy by waging wars on neighboring cities. We. Have. The cannons!" The crowd boos. "What? Uh..."

Bud stated, "Friends, friends. Can't you see what's happening on this stage?"

He goes on, "These politicians are dancing around the issues. Well... I can sing around the issue!" He rips apart his clothes to reveal a blue tank top, red sparkly pants and a belt with a small screen on it, catches a guitar and starts to sing. _"Oh crime is bad! Crime is oh-so bad! Vote for Bud and there ain't gonna be no crime! Crime's bad. Vote Bud!"_

"You may now throw your bird seed! And now a quick intermission!"

* * *

"Stan's getting eaten alive back there! Since when is Bud been... creepily adorable?" Dipper asked. He and Mabel are in front of memorial's elevator.

Mabel agrees too, "I don't know! It doesn't make sense! He's almost acting just like... like..."

"Wittle ol' me!" Mabel and Dipper gasp as they see Bud walks towards them with Gideon appearing on the screen, "Aha! Hello there, long time no see! Except in my revenge fantasies where I see you on an hourly basis!"

"Gideon! I knew you were somehow behind this! You've been controlling Bud!"

"And it seems you've been controlling Stanford! I figured it the both of y'all. You've got much eviller since I last saw you. Daddy!" He snaps his fingers and Bud walks toward them.

"Let go of us!" As Bud grabbed them forcefully.

"And don't worry about your appointment... my **friend** is taking care of it now..."

* * *

The Doctor quickly runs around inside the top floor of the Mayor's memorial.

His suspicions were confirmed, there are a stock of fireworks inside with a table. On the table there are two books on top: _War of the Worlds, and Robur the Conqueror._ A radio was playing Gene Autry tune. Alongside was a water pitcher and a cup.

The only exit was through the head's nose...

...or that doorway which was blocked by a mysterious person.

"Hello, there-are you planning the 4th of July that much early?"

The attacker almost gave no reply as he merely threw a shuriken at the Doctor. The Doctor quickly dodges it as he smacks it with a book, making it impaling on the wall.

The Doctor quickly kicks over the table, knocking the radio to click on a different tune: _Sunshine and Lollipops._ The water spilled was quickly avoided by the attacker.

He proceeds to use Jeet Kune Do to strike the Doctor. The Doctor reacts quick with a knife-hand strike and a roundhouse kick.

This gave an opening to the doorway. The Doctor quicky runs-but was forced to go the upper levels as the attack strikes with a karate chop. He attempted to judo-wrestle him.

He pulls out a sharp seax and slices at the Doctor which weirdly reminds him of kendo. Remembering his aikido training, he merely disarms him.

Two opposing forces fought on top of the memorial's head.

* * *

Bud carries the twins to the elevator to the top of the mayor's memorial. Bud then proceeds to tie the twins up with the inside filled with fireworks.

"Behold, your grand view of the debate! Once I win this election, I'll finally rule this backwoods town!" Gideon announced with the video feed.

"You'll never get away with this, you creepy little dork!"

"Oh, I'd be happy to spare you Mabel. If you agree to be mine. I even made you this wedding dress in crafts class-Don't ask what it's made of."

"Eww, I'd rather die, you creep!"

"Fine! Have it your way. Once I win, they'll hit the plunger for the fireworks display, finishing the mountain's construction, trapping y'all inside. I've been trapped behind concrete all summer, now see how you like it! Say hello to the next mayor of Gravity Falls, kids! Muwahahahahahaha!"

* * *

The fight on top of the statue, was seemingly rivialry-like. Blows and blows displayed upon each other.

"And uh, that is why, um... the Statue of Liberty is our hottest landmark!" The crowd boos and Stan's audience approval rating goes down, "Alright alright, she's kind of mannish. What do you want from me?"

The crowd continues to shower Bud's box with the bird seeds as his audience approval ratings goes up with Bud smiling smugly at Stan.

Meanwhile, the fighting oppenents fight to the death. However, both can hear the debate loud and clear. Suddenly, Bud's next set words made the Doctor go cold.

"This town has been sick, this town needs _healing_ , this Gravity Falls needs **medicine** – in fact I'd go so far as to say that, what you people really need, right now, is _**a Doctor**_."

Then the Doctor's attacker had him pinned, as he was distracted.

"Augh..." Stan grabs a piece of paper and wipes his forehead with it, "You're dying out there, Stan." He sees that the paper is actually Dipper and Mabel's speech for him and his approval goes to zero, "You kids were right all along. I should have listened to you when I had the chance."

Mabel then shouted, "Help! Help us!"

"What the-?" Stan looks to the mountain memorial; and the fight overhead.

"We're tied to a bunch of fireworks!" Dipper screamed.

The twins try to jump out, but end up cracking the rock under them, hanging from the nose screaming with the rope fraying fast. Tyler screams and points to the twins hanging. Everyone looks up and gasps.

"KIDS!"

The rope begins to fray even more, almost completely snapped in two. The twins yell and stare in shock.

Stan gasps, then turns to audience, "Listen, everybody! This debate is over! I gotta go save my family!"

"Those, uh, those are just some... demolition dummies. Nothing to see here!"

Stan points at Bud, "Can it, Gleeful!"

Stan rips the sleeves off of his jacket and yells. He runs backstage and begins climbing up one of the towers near the memorial. The crowd gets up from their seats and moves to watch Stan. As this is happening, Shandra narrates the situation.

"In a shocking turn of events, Stan Pines has run to the aid of two children who appear to be in danger!"

The excited crowd begins throwing their bird seed at Stan himself.

"And the crowd is loving it!"

Stan is still climbing tower and is adjacent to the twins and is shrugging off birdseed, "No, stop it! Thank you, but stop it! Gah! Get back, you terror birds!"

Stan punches birds out and keeps climbing.

Stan gets to the top of the tower and leaps from it to the memorial's nose as the crowd points at him. As he regains his balance, the rope snaps in two. Before it falls, Stan catches it and begins pulling the twins up.

"Grunkle Stan!"

"Kids! Look, I'm sorry I was being stubborn. I guess being the town's hero wasn't enough. I wanted to be yours too."

"We're sorry, Grunkle Stan. We should've supported you, win or lose." Mabel said.

Dipper rolls his eyes, "Probably lose."

"I can still drop you, you know."

Stan finishes pulling the kids up. They and Stan are safe inside the memorial. Stan hugs the kids while they laugh.

Stan's box is overflowing with birdseed, and his approval rating is through the roof. Bud stares in shock.

As Stan with the twins goes on top of the memorial, the attack then pulls out his detonator.

Widening his eyes, the Doctor gave a final push to throw off the attacker, nonetheless the attacker pressed his button, and disappeared.

The Doctor shouted out, "It's rigged-WATCH OUT!"

"Kids! If I die, make sure I get a bigger tombstone than Ford!"

The kids nod. Stan grabs them and jumps off of the memorial with the Doctor as Bud pushes the handle, blowing up the memorial. The kids and Stan scream, as they all landed in the huge pile of Stan's bird seed unharmed. One hits Bud and knocks him on the ground. Gideon's cell's TV is knocked offline.

"No! No!" He grabs his TV, throws it, and yells while tearing his hair.

The timer has finished counting down, and the mayor picking eagle is set free. It caws, flies overhead, and settles down near Stan, kissing his head. The memorial, with half of it molten and destroyed. The view pans down to the stage, where Stan is helping the twins out of the bird seed pile. He brushes himself off.

The Doctor follows along also with his expression tiresome and worry.

"Mayor Pines! Mayor Pines! Mayor Pines! Mayor Pines!"

Fireworks begin to go off in the background.

"Well, guess we know who won..."

* * *

 _"This just in! Stanford Pines loses!"_ A red banner appears over Stan's face with the word "DISQUALIFIED" on it.

Dipper, Mabel, and Stan shout out, "WHAT?!"

 _"Despite winning an overwhelming 95% of the vote, election officials had to disqualify him due to discovery of an extensive criminal record."_

"Oh boy."

"Stan, what did you do?"

"What didn't I do?"

 _"Crimes include shoplifting, teaching bears to drive, a new crime he invented called "burglebezzlement", first-degree llamacide..."_

"That llama knew too much!"

 _"Due to this shocking development, it would appear the mayorship passes to the only candidate who filled out their paperwork: a local offical named Hector W. Rector with Tyler Cutebiker as his vice."_

 _"We will dedicate the rest of this broadcast to listing Stan's crimes. First-degree thermometer theft. Pug trafficking..."_

"Whew! At least they didn't list any of the bad ones. On an unrelated topic, I have a lot of cheap pugs and I need to move them fast."

"Aw, I'm sorry, Stan. I actually think you as mayor would've been fun."

"Eh, maybe it's for the best. I got close to the dream, though, kids."

"Hey, I knit you something. It's not official, but I think it fits." She gives the sash to Stan, who then sniffles.

"Grunkle Stan, are you crying?"

Stan wipes his eyes, "I got campaign confetti in my eyes!" He stands up and puts on the sash, "Come on, kids. Wanna go vandalize the Mayor's mansion?"

"Yay!"

"He-hey, vandalism!"

* * *

"I thought WE HAD A DEAL!"

The newly elected mayor replied, "Of course, everything is still going according to plan. You will be out of here... the thing is that you should have patience, like that time I was held in three cells on this world and bunch outside..." He then cracks his neck all around for an effect, "...and the skills."

The newly elected mayor then gave Gideon one last piece of opportunity, "Call him. Meanwhile, this position makes me feel like of being with The Three Families... I am going to have so much fun with my appointment..." He clicks his tongue.

Soon enough, Gideon gets up and rips the poster off of his wall. Underneath it is a chalk drawing of the Zodiac. The symbols aren't in their normal positions, and some of them are shaped differently. Bill is drawn in the middle, without his eye. Gideon then draws the eye using chalk.

"I'm finally ready to make a deal!"

A yellow glow envelops Gideon.

* * *

2-5 23-1-18-25 15-6 23-8-15-13 25-15-21 2-5-12-9-20-20-12-5. 2-9-7 16-18-15-2-12-5-13-19 3-1-14 19-20-1-18-20 15-21-20 23-9-4-4-12-5. 2-5-19-9-4-5-19 23-8-1-20'19 19-8-1-18-16-5-18 20-8-1-14 1 19-1-24-15-14'19 11-14-9-6-5? 8-5 23-9-12-12 18-5-20-21-18-14.

25-15-21 1-18-5 14-15-20 1-12-15-14-5: 3-21-18-19-5 13-25 6-5-13-1-12-5 6-1-3-5-19, 1-14-4 13-25 1-4-22-5-18-19-1-18-25 6-5-13-1-12-5 6-1-3-5-19 23-5 4-18-9-14-11 20-15-7-5-20-8-5-18 1-20 1 2-1-18! 20-1-12-11-9-14-7 1-2-15-21-20 20-8-5 13-5-4-4-9-14-7 13-15-14-11, 20-8-5 23-1-18 3-8-9-5-6, 19-9-12-12-25 4-18-1-24, 1-14-4 20-8-5 18-1-14-9.

8-1-19 2-5-5-14 19-9-3-11 14-5-5-4-19 8-5-1-12-9-14-7 14-5-5-4-19 13-5-4-9-3-9-14-5 9-14 6-1-3-20 7-15 19-15 6-1-18 1-19 20-15 19-1-25 20-8-1-20 20-8-5 6-18-9-5-14-4-19 15-14 20-8-5 15-20-8-5-18 19-9-4-5 18-5-1-12-12-25 14-5-5-4-19 18-9-7-8-20 14-15-23 9-19 8-9-13. 4-1-13-14 20-8-5 4-15-3-20-15-18 9-19 20-15-15 17-21-9-3-11 16-12-1-14-19 1-18-5 6-1-12-12-9-14-7 1-16-1-18-20 2-21-20 23-5 23-9-12-12 16-12-1-25 15-21-18 8-1-14-4 20-15 23-1-9-20 6-15-18 8-9-13. 5-14-10-15-25 20-8-5 3-1-12-13 2-5-6-15-18-5 20-8-5 19-20-15-18-13 15-14 20-8-5 19-21-14-14-25 4-1-25 4-15-3-20-15-18 19-15-15-14 25-15-21 16-1-25 20-8-5 16-18-9-3-5.


	35. Chapter 35

**_The Lasting Revelation_**

As summer's end came nearer and nearer, the adventures were foreshadowed by the Pines' main adversary: the one-eyed demon Bill Cipher, who tormented Stan and Ford who first came to a town in Oregon, called Gravity Falls.

But they weren't alone, their family friend-revealed as the Doctor, as Ford describes: a great universal ally from his and Stan's childhood.

He is especially at his best going into shenanigans with the twins: Mabel and Dipper, along with their friends Wendy and Soos.

Tonight Dipper Pines sleeping, then Mabel Pines, who is sleeping with her a stuffed unicorn on top of her. She squeezes it.

 _"Princess Lovacorn Buy my 42 accessories!"_

Both were weary from traveling with reappeared Benjamin Blandin', a time traveler from the future, who is all-out shocked that the twins were knowing the Doctor for the first time. They explored in the medieval era, western times, the French June Rebellion, to the far future to discover time pirates' lost treasure...

On the way through time, they meet many interesting people and places:

Mabel's founding father's crush, which they had to peel her away from him.

In the west where there is a cowboy judge named 'Bean', a certain one named Masterson, and a liver-eating cowboy which Dipper thinks he's an ancestor of Old Man McGucket.

They meet Captain Silas Soule, whereas historically he died for doing what is right...

The adventuring Pines and the Doctor visit a familar world where people have animal powers.

Later they find themselves back on their Earth in a secret societal war mystery involving a pact of an evil time-traveling group, family rivalries and their enemies, and an ancient "military order-turned-corporate giant" which its members are either brave allies or evil jerks. They enlist help of an interesting top-hat gentleman with his assistant, a spiky-haired lawyer with his team, the pact's foes, and a girl who wears a hat.

They incidently ran into one of Bill's puppets who became a pirate to a gangster in 1840s New York.

They found into a hidden universe back to Earth where gaming icons were altogether; many which were Doctor's friends and acquaintances. A plumber and his brother along with a being who is very fast. They stopped a "society" that believes that being, who has super-speed, ruined their lives.

They almost took a wrong turn year 2025 which they run afoul of a certain corporation but were helped by "a bot master". They stopped on far future human colony Planet Zeton.

An author named Emilio Salgari.

A group of singing newspaper boys who are helped by Teddy Roosevelt.

Being arrested by the "one man riot squad". Stan came along with them. You can guess what happened.

Escaped the criminal underworld in Atlantic City, New Jersey during the Roaring Twenties.

Being aboard Bismark almost at the wrong time.

Having tea with Casimir Polemus, Frank Tower, and Violet Jessop.

An opera singer named Maria Callas.

Almost running afoul with "Time Bandits". Ford helped them to get themselves out of this one.

A Japanese explorer named Hasekura Tsunenaga.

Meeting Oskar Schindler, and escaping a Nazi concentration camp in Mauthausen with a certain photographer. They also ran into their ancestors, and are able to save them.

Stopped robotic monsters in Meridiana, Argentina. Another evil corporation whereas it involves alien techno-organic beings. Had help along the way.

A yellowed-haired boy with a pet fox on a distant asteroid.

A parallel Earth with an organization or "order" that wants to thwart mankind's possible extinction.

A parallel universe where in five hundred years mankind almost went extinct due to "beasts". Another one where a half-human swore vengence on traitors cosplaying as heroes, Stan commented that this reminds him of an adult TV show called "Those Teens", where characters expose superheroes as murdering jerks.

Another parallel universe where vampires take over in 2012. There was another where a fantasy world is in the hands of a female knight with a blacksmith. Another one with valley of monsters in the world of steampunk. A world where man landed on the moon in 1869, instead of 1969. A parallel Earth's alien invasion that impacted a certain town of Kentucky. Then later they went 10 trillion years in their universe where the multiverse collapsed on each other; parallel universes upon parallel universes.

Noted by top secret agencies: they were all sighted at year of 2006 where they stop a giant mutant fish monster caused by human pollution and government corruption. Also sighted year of 2007 at Los Angeles due to dragon serpent-like monsters.

Visited the Fudo High, T.M.A.N School, creepy Hyakkaou Private Academy, and meet A.D Agency and B.D Office.

They even witnessed an intergalactic war that reached far off in space that consisted Earth around 1997 where some people made an universal portal. Then secretly around present-day with hidden alien robots. An era where the far-future moon being independent from Earth which then became a monarchy to a republic. The 21st to 23rd centuries where an invading empire made a pact with a theocratic military alliance of alien races plus a highly advanced machine race of synthetic starships and a cybernetic organisms' hive, in addition of friendly alien robots' enemies who aligned with planet Kronos. A far off colony that was ravaged by an alien parasite. Year 2563 where class warfare are between a floating city and below. A planet that contains "knghts of magical light". Somewhere in 71st century where the world is divided in two superpowers with an artificial sun, and 150,000 years later in humanized colonies in four star systems.

Soon they ate snacks near the Big Dipper constellation's twin stars. But before heading back to Gravity Falls, they took some twists and turns where they almost land in "Most Dangerous World Imaginable" dimension, almost hitting Davenport Bionic Academy and another certain school, someone's backyard where some boy apparently screamed and fainted, and then crashing into Mystery Shack's sign. Stan of course wasn't happy...

But those are other stories as for the next chapter begins...

* * *

Re-owned multiverse traveler Ford Pines was sleeping on the couch.

Where he appears in a field of wheat with a ruined swingset, universe portal, and the Stanowar around him. Ford looks around as the wheat is flattened around him into the image of Bill Cipher, glowing blue. Ford hears Bill's maniacal laughter.

" _AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_!"

"I know that laugh... Show yourself!" He turns around as Bill Cipher materializes from the ground, floating in the air.

 _"Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well! Aren't you a sight for sore eye! Stanford Filbrick Pines, my old pal!"_

"Bill Cipher. Cut the blasted flattery-What do you want from me?" He growled.

 _"Oh, quit playing dumb, IQ! You knew I'd be back! You think shutting down that portal could stop what I have planned? I've been making deals, chatting with **old friends** , preparing for the big day! I heard of your endeavour with good o'l Toymaker! Doc is always amusing as ever! You can't keep that rift safe forever, even if Doc is around! You'll slip up, and when you do...!" _

He throws the picture of the rift onto the ground, where it creates a massive portal in the shape of an upside-down triangle, burning the wheat field around shocked Ford.

"GET OUT OF HERE! YOU HAVE NO DOMINION OVER THIS WORLD!" Ford shouted.

 _"Maybe not right now in this dimesion, but things change, Stanford Pines! **Things... change."**_

He laughed demonically, " **MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**!"

Bill laughs as he flies away, leaving Ford in the middle of the burning wheat field. Several images flash by at once, one of Ford's hand, one of Ford's eye, and another of what looks like an extended version of the Zodiac. Ford wakes up in his bed, panting. He adjusts his glasses.

"I have to warn them!" He looks at his hand, "He's coming."

* * *

"Family meeting! Family meeting!" Ford called. The Doctor appeared out of his TARDIS.

Mabel and Dipper walked to Ford, who has several scrolls tucked under his arm and is reading a book. Ford turns around and notices the two, putting the scrolls on the table.

"Ah, children. Come in, come in! You too Doctor!"

Mabel takes a seat and looks at a bag on the table, "Ooh, mysterious scrolls and potions! Are you going to tell us we're finally of age to go to wizard school?" She starts rummaging through the bag, "Is there an owl in this bag?"

Ford snatches the bag away, "No! I can assure you if there's an owl in this bag, he's long dead. Now, children, do either of you recognize this symbol?" He holds up a scroll emblazoned with the image of Bill Cipher and several hieroglyphs.

Dipper and Mabel gasp. The Doctor held his coat in discomfort.

"Bill." Dipper confirmed.

"You... you know him?"

"Know him? He's been terrorizing us all summer! I have so many questions and theories... even Doc is in the dark..."

"Dipper's been pretty paranoid since Bill turned Doctor into a living sock puppet."

The Doctor nodded, "He did. Wasn't a great experience-"

"The important thing is we defeated him twice." Dipper added.

"Once with kittens and once with tickles!"

"It was a lot more heroic than it sounds."

The Doctor clarified, "Mindscape..."

Ford scratches his chin, "The fact that you've dealt with Bill is gravely serious."

"So, how do you know Bill?"

"I've encountered many dark beings in my time, Dipper. What matters is that his powers are growing stronger, and if he pulls off his plans, no one in this family will be safe!"

Dipper and Mabel gasps.

The Doctor asked, "He visited you didn't he?"

Ford nods, "Fortunately, there should be a way to shield us from his mental tricks. A way to Bill-proof the Shack. All I have to do is place moonstones here, here, and here, sprinkle some mercury, let's see... I always forget the last ingredient!" He takes out Journal 1 and flips through it, "Ugh, unicorn hair!"

"That's not, like, rare, is it?"

"It's hopeless." He looks at Journal 1; adjusts his glasses, "Unicorns reside deep within an enchanted glade, and their hairs can only be obtained by a pure good-hearted person who goes on a magical quest to find them."

The Doctor scoffs, "I got two-besides unicorns " _definitely"_ do believe in people."

Mabel screams happily, "Grunkle Ford, can I please go on this quest? I am literally obsessed with unicorns! My first word was "unicorn," I once made my own unicorn by taping a traffic cone to a horse's head. Are you even looking at the sweater I'm wearing right now?! Not to mention that I'm probably the most pure of heart person in this room!"

Ford shrugs, "That's true, she has a point."

"I can't argue there."

"So can I go on a mission to get that hair? Please please please? I'LL GIVE YOU MY BLOOD!"

"Very well. But it won't be easy." He gives Mabel Journal 1, "Take this." And hands Mabel a crossbow, "And this."

"Oooh!"

"I haven't been in this dimension for a while. It's okay to give children weapons, right?" He asked the Doctor.

"Pssh, come on, dawg." She fires the crossbow through the window, setting off Stan's car alarm.

Stan shouted, "AH! IT'S THE COPS! GUN IT!"

"Candy, Grenda, Wendy, clear the afternoon!" She runs off leaving the Doctor, Ford, and Dipper.

"So, what are the odds she gets that hair?"

"Unlikely. I've dealt with unicorns before, and if I had to describe them in one word it would be... frustrating."

and

"Very!" The Doctor chirped.

"So, what are we gonna do about Bill?"

"Follow me. You too Doc."

* * *

"Welcome to my private study, a place where I keep my most ancient and secret knowledge. Even your uncle Stan doesn't know about this place... Dipper, come along! If we can't Bill-proof the Shack, we're going to have to do the next best thing. We're gonna have to Bill-proof our minds."

Ford hooks Dipper up to the mind machine. The Doctor chuckled, been a long time since you and I worked together on this..."

"So what is Bill, exactly?"

"No one knows for sure. Accounts differ of his true motivations and origins."

Around this time Dipper picks up "The Cipher File" and starts reading it.

The Doctor explained, "In my travels of the universe, there are always evil around-they must be fought." He sighed. "I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demigods and would-be gods; out of all that, out of that whole pantheon, I always remembered why there is evil in the universe; there are people who need to stop it."

Ford stated, "Well said. Without a physical form, Bill can only project himself into our thoughts through the mindscape. That's why he wants this." He holds up interdimensional rift, "I dismantled the portal, but with this tear, Bill still has a way into our reality. To get his hands on this rift, he would trick or possess anyone."

Dipper questioned, "So how do we keep Bill out of our minds?"

"Well, there's a number of ways. I personally had a metal plate installed in my head."

"Heheh. Good one."

Ford knocks the side of his head, making a metallic sound. The Doctor grimanced.

Dipper coughs and clears his throat.

"But this machine is safer. It will scan your mind, bioelectrically encrypting your thoughts so that Bill can't read them. Now say hello to your thoughts."

"By the way, you never told me what your history with Bill was." Dipper added.

"Dipper, do you trust me?" Ford asked.

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Then you'll trust that that's not important. Now, focus. It's time to strengthen your mind."

"If you need me, I be out for about" The Doctor stated, walking out of the room.

* * *

"Ugh, this is taking forever. How long have I been doing this for?" He sees that Ford is asleep, he thoughts aloud along with his thoughts. "Why does he have to be so mysterious about Bill? I can handle the truth. I wonder what Great Uncle Ford is thinking. Use the machine! It'll show you his thoughts. I shouldn't... He won't know. He's going to tell you eventually. The more you know about Bill, the more you can help. Man, I am really good at rationalizing. Yes, you are; yes, you are; yes, you are; yes, you are..."

Dipper placed the helmet on Ford.

"Just a little peek. What are you hiding about Bill?"

Bill appears on the screen, cackling and howling with laughter. Screen changes to Stanford moving around in his sleep. Smaller screens show the portal and Fiddleford McGucket yelling at Ford.

 _"Where are these ideas coming from? Who are you working with?!"_

Screens change to Ford writing "I'M LOSING," "MY MIND," and "TRUST NO ONE" in the journal.

 _"My brother is a dangerous know-it-all..."_

"He would trick or possess anyone..."

Suddenly a younger Ford appeared, "Then it's a deal. From now until the _end of time_. The Doctor here can be the mediator between us!"

The Doctor, the very same with the red-black coat, nodded.

Bill holding out hand, which is on fire, "Just let me into your mind, Stanford."

"Please, call us..." Shakes his hand, "a friend."

"FORD AND BILL?!" Dipper shouted. Suddenly he gasped as Ford awakes up, his eyes not showing due to the lights' reflection.

Ford stands up, "You shouldn't have done that... "He takes off helmet and throws it, knocking down a curtain, revealing many items depicting Bill.

"Why- why were you shaking hands with Bill?" He quickly snatches up the interdimensionsal rift), "ou said Bill could possess anyone so he could get this!"

"Careful! Hand me the rift! Now, boy!"

"Why were you really scanning my thoughts?" He aims memory erasing gun at Ford, "Are you Bill right now?!"

"Now just-just calm down, P-"

Dipper screamed, "PINE TREE?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE GONNA CALL ME?!"

"I was just going to say "please", kid!"

Dipper stops at the end of the room, "Great Uncle Ford told me to protect the rift! Get one step closer and I'll shoot! I'll erase you right out of Ford's head!"

"It's me, Dipper. It's your uncle!"

Dipper charging gun, "Trust no one, trust no one, trust..."

The Doctor suddenly appears, "Dipper! STOP!"

"Hand it to me!" Ford shouted.

The gun fires at Ford, but bounces off his glasses and around the room, the Doctor ducks, finally destroying one of the screens.

Dipper tries to pick up the memory erasing gun.

Ford picks Dipper up before he can get the gun.

"Let go of me!"

"Now-now just calm down. Calm down!" He adjusts his glasses, "Look into my eyes! Look at my pupils. It's me, Dipper. It's me!"

The Doctor mouthed, "whoa". He surveys the room, "...oh, he knows what happened, didn't he?"

"I tried to erase your mind. I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay, Dipper. Besides, my mind can't be erased, anyway, remember?"

He knocks the side of his head, "If I really was Bill, though, you would've done great. I should of been more like you when I was young."

Then Ford explains in length. "Dipper, I was a fool to try to hide all this. The reason I've been trying to prepare you for Bill's tricks is that Bill tricked me. It's the biggest regret of my life. Bill wasn't always my enemy, Dipper. I used to think he was my friend. Long, long ago. I had hit a road block in my investigation of Gravity Falls with Stan and the Doctor. Until I found some mysterious writing in a cave. Ancient incantations about a being with answers. It warned me not to read them, but I was desperate. I read the inscription aloud. But nothing happened. Until later that afternoon, when I had the most peculiar dream. He told me he was a muse. That he chose one brilliant mind a century to inspire. What a fool I was. Blinded by his flattery and games. He became my research assistant. He was free to move in and out of my mind as he pleased. We were partners. When he told me I could complete my research by building a gateway to other worlds, I trusted him. He said this was the way genius happened. Little help from a friend. Until my partner, and the Doctor got a glimpse of Bill's true plans."

"I'd been betrayed. I shut the portal down, severing the link between Bill's world and ours. I had to hide my instructions so no one could ever finish Bill's work. I tried to hode the journals, and you know the rest of the story. Bill's been waiting for the gateway to reopen ever since. All he needs to do is get his hands on this rift. To Bill, it's just a game, but to us, it would mean the end of our world."

"Oh, man."

"Oh, man, indeed." The Doctor finished.

* * *

"Ugh, I'm so embarrassed about earlier. I'm such an idiot." Dipper sips some drink.

"From now on, no more secrets between us. We're not the first two idiots to be tricked by Bill, boy. But if we work together, we could be the last."

"But what about Bill? I broke the machine! Now we have no way to protect the shack!"

Mabel suddenly slams the unicorn hair on the table, surprising the Doctor, "Did someone say "unicorn hair"?!"

Candy, Grenda, Mabel and Wendy are behind her. They are all beat up and covered in unicorn fluids and tears.

"Uh, no, actually?"

"Oh. That would have been perfect. Either way we got some unicorn hair!"

"Also some unicorn tears, unicorn eyelashes..."

"They finally gave us this treasure just to get rid of us!"

"It... can't be! This is a great day, girls! With this unicorn hair, we should be able to completely shield the shack from Bill's mind-reading tricks!"

"Is it okay?"

Ford replied to Mabel. "Better than okay; it's perfect! You've protected your family. You're a good person, Mabel."

"Thanks, Grunkle Ford, but today I learned that morality is relative."

The Doctor smiles, "I'm glad you did-"

Stan runs in and grabs the treasure, "MONEY!" The Doctor laughs all aloud.

Soon, Dipper and Ford are in the yard. Dipper finishes stretching the unicorn hair around the shack. A force field forms around the shack.

"Perfect! This will protect us from Bill! As long as we're inside, our minds are safe!"

The Doctor leaned by the shack, however he felt they altogether missed one detail.

Unknownst to them Bill is watching from the mindscape, " _I guess I can't possess anyone inside the shack, so I'll just have to **get** my pawn when he goes the... **OUTSIDE**!"_

* * *

9-20 19-20-1-18-20-5-4 23-9-20-8 2-1-4 4-18-5-1-13-19 23-8-9-3-8 2-5-3-1-13-5 14-9-7-8-20-13-1-18-5-19. 9 23-1-19 6-15-15-12-9-19-8, 9 23-1-14-20-5-4 1-14-19-23-5-18-19, 9 16-1-9-14-20-5-4 20-8-5 19-25-13-2-15-12-19, 9 19-1-9-4 20-8-5 23-15-18-4-19: 23-8-5-14 7-18-1-22-9-20-25 6-1-12-12-19 1-14-4 20-8-5 5-1-18-20-8 2-5-3-15-13-5-19 19-11-25 6-5-1-18 20-8-5 2-5-1-19-20 23-9-20-8 10-21-19-20 15-14-5 5-25-5. 1 19-9-13-16-12-5 13-1-14 23-9-20-8 5-1-7-5-18 5-1-18-19 13-1-25 20-18-21-19-20 20-8-5 23-8-9-19-16-5-18-19 20-8-1-20 8-5 8-5-1-18-19. 9-14 3-9-16-8-5-18'19 7-1-13-5 8-5 14-5-5-4-19 1 16-1-23-14 2-5 19-21-18-5 20-15 11-14-15-23 23-8-9-3-8 19-9-4-5 25-15-21'18-5 15-14.

2-9-12-12 16-12-1-25-5-4 1-18-15-21-14-4 23-9-20-8 20-8-5 5-7-25-16-20-9-1-14-19, 20-8-5 19-13-1-18-20-5-19-20 18-15-13-1-14 16-8-9-12-15-19-15-16-8-5-18 [2-12-15-23-9-14-7 21-16 8-9-19 8-5-1-4, 13-15-4-1-3 20-8-5 23-9-19-5 [4-18-1-13-1 17-21-5-5-14, 1-14-4 7-5-15-18-7-5 23-1-19-8-9-14-7-20-15-14 [20-8-5 10-5-18-11 14-5-22-5-18 2-18-21-19-8-5-4 8-9-19 20-5-5-20-8 1-7-1-9-14] 16-12-21-19 19-20-1-14-12-5-25 11-21-2-18-9-3-11.

19-9-24-20-25 4-5-7-18-5-5-19 20-8-1-20 3-15-13-5 9-14 20-8-18-5-5-19.23-1-20-3-8-5-19 6-18-15-13 23-9-20-8-9-14 2-9-18-3-8 20-18-5-5-19.19-1-23 8-9-19 15-23-14 4-9-13-5-14-19-9-15-14 2-21-18-14. 13-9-19-19-5-19 8-15-13-5 1-14-4 3-1-14'20 18-5-20-21-18-14. 19-1-25-19 8-5'19 8-1-16-16-25. 8-5'19 1 12-9-1-18. 2-12-1-13-5 20-8-5 1-18-19-15-14 6-15-18 20-8-5 6-9-18-5.9-6 8-5 23-1-14-20-19 20-15 19-8-9-18-11 20-8-5 2-12-1-13-5, 8-5'12-12 8-1-22-5 20-15 9-14-22-15-11-5 13-25 14-1-13-5. 15-14-5 23-1-25 20-15 1-2-19-15-12-22-5 8-9-19 3-18-9-13-5.1 4-9-6-6-5-18-5-14-20 6-15-18-13, _1 4-9-6-6-5-18-5-14-20 20-9-13-5..._


	36. Chapter 36

_**Journal 3 Entries**_

 ** _The Doctor:_**

 _An immortal humaniod alien who meet Stan and I in our younger years._

 _He explains that he is quite different than like the rest of us._

 ** _Two Hearts!_**

 _Fascinating!_

 ** _13-5-5-14-9-5 13-5-5-14-9-5 13-9-14-5-25 25-15-21 20-8-5 4-15-3-20-15-18 9-19-14'20 23-8-1-20 8-5 19-5-5-13-19 13-21-19-20 4-9-19-20-18-21-19-20 8-9-13 2-21-25 7-15-12-4 19-9-24-5-18._**

 _What's even more fascinating would be his time-traveling machine, which he meet many so many historical figures and events! We came along few times with him..._

 _Wears: a red-and-black coat, Mabel-knitted sweater that reads 6:18. Often wears a fedora as a hat, but time and time it changes._

 _We (F, Stan, and I) worked together with him along with_ _Wilson, The Corduroys, and a traitorous Zygon._

 _His time machine/spaceship: The **TARDIS**!_

 ** _Bigge_** ** _r_** ** _in_** **_Inside!_**

 _He once explains the interior is another dimension also._ _9-6 20-8-5 1-14-7-5-12-19 1-18-5 23-5-5-16-9-14-7: 4-15-14'20 2-12-9-14-11._

 _The console is full of buttons and levers. CAREFUL THOUGH!_

 _20-8-5 16-15-12-9-3-5 2-15-24: 3-1-14 2-5 18-5-7-1-18-4-5-4 1-19 1 18-1-18-5 19-9-7-8-20-9-14-7 15-6 18-5-19-3-21-5 15-18 2-1-4 15-13-5-14-19._

 _20-15 20-8-5 6-1-13-9-12-25 15-6 16-9-14-5-19: 6-15-2 23-1-20-3-8 9-19 20-8-5 11-5-25._

* * *

 _9 19-5-18-22-5-4 1-14 9-14-20-5-18-7-1-12-1-20-9-3 23-1-18 20-8-1-20 23-1-19 3-21-20 15-6-6 6-18-15-13 20-8-5 18-5-19-20 15-6 20-8-5 21-14-9-22-5-18-19-5-2-21-20 20-8-5 21-14-9-22-5-18-19-5 23-5-16-20 1-20 9-20-19 2-12-15-15-4-19-8-5-4: 20-5-1-13-5-4 21-16 23-9-20-8 1-14 9-14-3-1-18-14-1-20-9-15-14 15-6 20-8-5 4-15-3-20-15-18, 16-18-15-6-5-19-19-15-18 21-18-2-1-14 "18-5-7" 3-8-18-15-14-15-20-9-19 15-18 19-1-12-25-1-22-9-14, 13-19. 6-15-18-5-13-1-14, 20-8-5 13-5-4-4-12-9-14-7 13-15-14-11, 20-8-5 18-1-14-9, 4-18-1-24, 23-1-18-20-15-18-14 16-12-1-14-5-20 7-1-12-12-9-6-18-5-25'19 12-5-1-4-5-18 18-15-13-1-14-1 15-18 6-18-5-4, 4-1-1-11 20-8-5 4-1-12-5-11 11-9-12-12-5-18, 3-9-14-4-5-18, 12-5-5-12-1 20-8-5 "3-9-22-9-12-9-26-5-4" 19-1-22-1-7-5 8-21-14-20-5-18, 20-8-5 19-17-21-9-18-5, 20-8-5 7-5-14-5-18-1-12, 20-8-5 13-1-19-20-5-18, (8-5'19 3-18-1-26-25 1-20-13-15-19-20),_ _20-8-5 23-1-18 3-8-9-5-6,_ _3-1-18-4-9-14-1-12 15-12-12-9-19-20-18-1, 1-14-4 7-1-19-20-18-15-14, 16-12-21-19 1 7-21-25 14-1-13-5-4 18-9-3-11. 9 5-19-3-1-16-5-4 1-6-20-5-18 20-8-5 4-15-3-20-15-18 6-1-11-5-4 13-25 4-5-1-20-8._

 ** _More examples of Parallel Earth's_ _Dimensions Extented:_** _Carries the nicknames I have for them-_

 _There are so many parallel versions of us (my family), and the Doctor! For example, there is one dimension where Dipper and Mabel are born fighters. Or it can be weird like that story with a boy named Nemo in it._

 _ **Timestuck:** Whereas this parallel universe's nephew and niece of mine being stuck with our parallel versions of me and Stan in our time between 1960s-1990s, this parallel version of the Doctor helps out. _

_**Seraph's End:** Alternate year 2012; vampires take over Earth. _

_**Transcendence:** This dimension's Dipper and Mabel absorbed the horror of Bill's powers. When they finally began to renew themselves, this version of the Doctor send them the __stars of Mizar and Alcor..._

 _ **Demonic Protectors:** Bit weird, I'll explain-this Dipper's 'protector' is Bill (almost shot him in the face), this Mabel's protector is someone named Tad. There is a peculiar child whose 'protector' is a T.V screen. The Doctor's 'protector' is actually physical being named Time._

 ** _Wonderland:_** _Very familiar in this story. This Dipper is exploring the realm. Mabel is the Mad Hatter, meanwhile Stanley is that caterpillar. The Doctor is that smiling cat._

 _ **Monster:** This Dipper finds a magic stream called Fluvius Cantatis, some stuff happens, and everyone in the town gets turned into monsters. Dipper's a 'Deertaur', Mabel's a mermaid, Wendy's a werewolf, Stanley's a Gargoyle, whereas this version of me is a sphinx. Z_- _Soos is a clay homonculus, and this Doctor is a phoenix._

 _ **Reverse:** A kid named Gideon Pines is a kid visiting Gravity Falls with his cousin/best friend Pacifica __Southeast_ _Pines While there, they meet the psychic twins Mabel and Dipper Gleeful (the evil mirror version of my nephew and niece) who run the Tent of Telepathy. These brat twins are much darker and more powerful than Gideon from Gravity Falls. Had to run them off to stop them following me..._

 _ **Relativity:** This version of Stanley and I go to spend the summer with adult Mabel. A mysterious teen named Theta hangs out with them. _

_**Anti-Gravity:** Though not to be mistaken for Relativity, Anti-Gravity is guessed to be another age swap. Wendy and Z-Soos are young kids who find Journal 3. Mabel and Dipper are teenagers who work for Grunkle Stan at the Mystery Shack. A strange kid named Sigma hangs out with them. _

_**Reunion:** This version of Dipper and Mabel were separated at birth; Mabel grows up with their parents in California and Dipper being raised by Stanley and me. Eventually, Mabel finds out about Dipper and runs off to Gravity Falls to meet him. Without a twin, Mabel, while still bright and cheerful, is less out going while Dipper, growing up with Wendy and Stan as role models, is more confident. _

_**Only Child:** (This one gave tears in my eyes) this version of Mabel is a stillborn, making Dipper an only child. Because of his parent's ever growing grief over losing a child, Dipper is often neglected. However, this version of Stanley, the Doctor, and I help him grow. _

_**Fright:** This version of Mabel gets turned into a vampire. Dipper gets turned into a werewolf. Stanley dies pre-portal opening. This version of me bring Stan back to life Frankenstein style with the help of F. _

_**Twin Demons/Zero Gravity:** Mabel and Dipper are the dream demons, they almost caught me when they had the chance. Their peculiar friend, named __Zagreus is upmost haunting._

 _ **Blinded:** There is something called 'Society of the Blind Eye', and it appears in this universe too! They wiped Dipper's all of his memory. The Society takes him in, indoctrinating him into their ways._

 _ **Apocalypse:** Dipper gains wings while Mabel's mind spirals into madness when they rescued a version of me. Eventually I helped this version of Ford to cure Mabel. _

_**Gravity Rises:** It seems in this universe personality and symbols are switched. Mabel is Dipper instead, the intellectual and mystery obsessed female twin. Dipper is Mabel, the laid back and creative one. This Doctor tends to be in a female incarnation. Another reality swap._

 _ **Joseon:** This takes place in the Joseon Kingdom in ancient Korea! Everyone wears traditional clothing of the time period and place of the Joseon Kingdom. _

_**Japanese:** This takes place in country of Japan. Altogether, our parallel counterparts embark on weird adventures that involves catching creatures with dimesional-type balls, monsters in a "digital world", people using powers that involves your hands pushing to the air, certain ninjas, people that are hunters-protecting the world from monsters, a country that pratices alchemy, people fighting against hungry ghosts (not mistaken for the New York group...), weird pirates with special abilities, cooks going against a food controlling corporation, a __fairies' club, allying an elite group that specializes in adventures and paranormal (how_ _quaint-in a good way)_ _, lost worlds that contain guilds for magical beings, magical superheroes based on stars and planets, a baby mafia hitman (very deadly), virtual realities that contain bunch of weapons and battles, a fearsome hidden-away academy, a group of cyborg warriors that protect the world (reminds me of those plastic connectable toys back in my homeworld or other dimensions), and assassins that fight against an invading empire. Not to mention there were some tall man-eating beings, and people with p_ _yrokinesis_ _..._

 _ **Zhònglì:** This takes place in ancient China!_

 _ **Coven:** Mabel and Dipper are the apprentices of this version of Stanley in a world where magic is common. _

_**Gravity Keys:** This version of Gravity Falls is set in Key West, Florida. Mabel has a chicken instead of Waddles the pig, but other than that, most things stay the same._

 _ **Church:** It's Gravity Falls, but in a cathedral. This Doctor, who goes by the name Father Townsend apprenticed this version Dipper and Mabel to get daily education at True Cross Academy. _

_**Kitten Dipper:** This version of Dipper finds a comb that has a cat shaped handle. When he brushes his hair with it, he gets turned into a cat!_

 _ **Camp Cipher:** This version of Gravity Falls as a summer camp. The teens are counselors while all the kids are campers. Huh. _

_**Human Journals:** All my three journals are the apprentices of this version of me, and friends to this version of my family._

 _ **Western:** This version of my family went and meet many western icons and events; the Lone Ranger, that guy with no name, "Lucky Luke", the "Ridiculous Six", the "Magnificent Seven", Jonah Hex, Django, a guy named __Elyne Mitchell,_ _Col. John Henry Thomas, W.P. Inman,_ _a cowbay named Karl who turned his name Barbarosa, and Marshal J.D. Cahill._ _This somewhat reminds me of being part of the Interstellar Hikers._

 _ **Noir Mafia's Carnivàle:** Sets in 1920s-1930s, this version of Mabel and Dipper go to stay with their Stanley at his traveling freak show. This verison of the Doctor is a normal doctor goes by John Houst **o** n Pines. The Great Depression and the Dust Bowl is a problem. Additionally so is crime._

 ** _Rebel:_** _This version of my family and I with their friends are on the run by the townsfolk of Gravity Falls. It was prompted by a certain kid who has some hold on the town. Gotten in a mix-up, the angry mob thought I was that other version of me._

* * *

 _ **Pirate/Maritime:** Very lengthy. Set in golden age of piracy, this version of __Mabel and Dipper have meet many of interest such as Ching Shih,_ _Morgan Adams,_ _Henry Avery, Charlotte Doyle,_ _Monkey D. Luffy,_ _HMS Bounty's crew, Robinson Crusoe and Swiss Robinson Family, female Bloody Jack, Captain Flint,_ _Wong Tai-mui (this version of being a time traveler!)_ _, Captain James Hook, HMS Dragon's crew, Polly with her pirates, Destiny Hand's crew, Captain Blood,_ _"unsinkable" Walker Bean's crew,_ _Penzance's pirates, and Captain Jack Sparrow; I admit, I gawked at his escapades, along with Guybrush Threepwood._

 _This version of the Doctor is called Captain Blue Jacket who is a retired privateer (sometimes disguises himself with an eyepatch-hook-and pegleg), son of an admiral-helps this version of Dipper and (half-siren royal princess) Mabel to cope against fearsome pirate captain William "Bill" Cipher._

 _Blue Jacket also enlisted the help of the this version of Stanley who is a merchant/smuggler and this version of me-who is a commandore and distrusts him however Jacket saves his life many times in combat/wars which in turn this version of me calls him one of his "best" allies. Blue Jacket's crew consist of One Eye Pete, Mary Pierce, and A. Newman. All worked on HMS Adventure._

 _Captain Jacket has his back scarred by lashes, arm and stomach littered with torture, and chest branded plus almost a Glasgow Smile-once left for dead on marooned island. He basically travels with Dipper who is a secret heir, siren Mabel, the known smuggler Stanley, and recently knighted version of me. Eventually, he's retired from piracy; never killed a person and hated slave trade, though always wind up in crazy situations. They always fight against Captain Cipher and his heinous crew members._

 _This goes on into this universe's Colonial wars, War of Independence (in secret, they helped Ford not to be marked as an "obvious" traitor-has to "dim" his friendship), early national period with Indian wars, Barbary Wars, and War of 1812._

 _Final confrontation: at refined Tortuga; Cipher with his army filled with remaining ruthless pirates attack the island in an attempt to make it as their own stated domain, with capturing the intended mislead hostages of American and European ,ambassadors. Blue Jacket and Cipher mortally wounded (both sides inflicted heavy damages-all Cipher's crew mate_ _died fighting, and so did many from American and European forces stationed there). Last time I seen him, Captain Cipher was thought fled to Block Island, Rhode Island. In truth, he headed to Bermuda Island._

* * *

 _ **Wasn't Human:** So lengthy! Whereas my family and I are superheroes. __This version of the Doctor meet and foiled with heroic allies against a certain eco-terrorist (with a spoon-very strange; wonder if our Doctor does that), certain immortal madman (this Doctor talked to him about "living forever"), and gave monstrous god-like titans "run for their money". As I observed them, the parallel version of my family and the Doctor joined some sort of 'league' and (something about) 'revengers', they faced brutality with National Supers Agency of Registration Accords, and Vigilante Acts due to the suspicion of a terrorist attack on this parallel world's version of a U.N and Congress. However, they weren't alone in their fight: Rise of the Tangled Dragons Order, certain girls with "Magica", Tokyo's cats-I think, some powerful girls, six peculiar heroes, certain girls named after solar system, a hero academia, "Beautiful Girls"-I think that's what they were called, a very fast animal with his friends, a plumbing brotherly duo, and something about over-watching or something._

 _There were also valuable allies: alien robotic beings who can transform into anything! They find against another rivial faction containing their evil leader, a scorpion, a some-sort of robotic demon, a six-shooter, a Frankenstein robot, a female robotic ninja, and two mad scientists (one of them likes pop music, another is an insane cyborg), along with a GIANT eating planet._

 _Often time, they also require help from allies such as a_ _giant alien named Aron, and humans:_

 _-Agent Fowler with kids consisting of Jack and Miko and Raf, Chief Burns, and the Clay Family._

 _-Spike (who has a son named Daniel) with his father named Sparkplug, Ms. Faireborn, Dr. Fujiyama, Dr. Harding, Dr. Alcazar, Professor Greene, Dr. Morgan and Swofford, Tommy, Raoul, and Chip._

 _-The Sumdac Family._

 _-Rad, Carlos, Alexis, Billy, Fred, Kicker, Coby, Col. Mick Franklin, and Stanton._

 _-The Witwicky Family, Ms. Banes, Agents Banachek and Simmons, Col. Lennox, Mr. Keller, Gen. Moshower, Seg. Epps, Mr. Spitiz, Ms. Madsen, Mr. Whitmann (very comical), Ms. Spencer, Agent Mearing, Mr. Yeager with his daughter and director Joyce (very humorless), Mr. Dyson, Mr. Tyril, Ms. Yueming, Sir Burton, Ms. Wembley, Izabella, and Mr. Pink._

 _-Ms. Watson, Memo, and Agent Burns._

 _-Mr. Cannay and Cain, Koji Onishi, Kelly, T-Al, Carl, Jenny, and Dorie. Professor Teranoth, Dr Onishi, Dr Jones, and Professor Lucy._

 _The robots clash over search for some-sort-of spark, set of pillars, a seed?, a legendary staff and mythical sword, mystery of combination-I think, requiem blaster, and something containing of chaos._

* * *

 _ **Spy:** Also very lengthy. This version of Stan and I are spies with F building their gadgets. They're trying to take down the Cipher Organization-a criminal underworld to a terrorist web run by Bill Sokal Cypher._

 _Helped out by many various of assistance (some which are extraordinary people):_

 _Agents Hunt, Cage, Martin, Bourne, Stone, MacGyver, and Garrison. A young recruit named Banks._

 _Agent 47, Dutch Agent 327, and British agents such as Rider, Archer, Powers, English, and Bond._

 _"Joe's Team" and "The Expandables". Alongside with Mr. Rambo, agents Hobbs and Bob Ho. Adding in, the "Blue Thunder" team._

 _A guy named_ _Wick. Another whose name is Quan._

 _The "F.F" crew with Simon Keller and Tobey Marshall and Foster brothers._

 _FBI agents_ _Kilpatrick,_ _Dr. Spencer Reid,_ _Bauer, and_ _Jane._

 _Officer Hotchner, Adrian Monk, Inspector Sledge Hammer, Lieutenant Columbo, NYPD's MCS_ _, Rick Castle,_ _Dr. Temperance Brennan, and_ _Ray Nicolet._

 _Ms. Nancy Drew, the Bobbsey Twins, Mr. Encyclopedia Brown, the Alden Family, Inspector Clouseau, Dr. House, Dexter Morgan,_ _Michael Knight_ _, Dick Tracy with a young girl named Annie._

 _CSI D_ _irector Catherine Willows, with officers Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown and Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom, Sara Sidle, and Dr. Robbins._

 _Rey Curtis, Lennie Briscoe, Anita Van Buren, Abbie Carmichael, Jack McCoy, Mike Logan, Michael Cutter, Adam Schiff, and Olivia Benson._

 _Inspector Hector, FBI Agent Nelson Tethers,_ _and Ray Velcoro._

 _Along with a journalist named Tintin: whose works were known for capturing Max Bird, viewing poor working class in England, Lebanon, 2003 invasion of Iraq, corruption in government of El Salvador (that caught Mr. Dawson and Mr. Trickler in employment of Cypher), international conspiracy in Italy, French communist Pierre Juquin, Fallujah, Persian Gulf, finding the IRA to save his friend Professor Calculus from British government with Quan, Kevin Rudd, the Lake of the Sorcerer, Machu Piccahu, the Flute of Wendigo, batting Soviets with a certain sea captain in Afghanistan, Wzkxy, finding out a singer named Castafiore is the descendant of Carlotta from Phantom of the Opera, a ship called Golden Fleece, case of Blue Oranges, "Lake of the Sharks" incident, the Indies: Blue Diamond, and Mr Boullock's Disappearance._

 _Their enemy is known for being a businessman (economy exchanges of imports and exports) to being a criminal mastermind (connections to the underworld and terrorist organizations all over the world). Files: Oregon-America, Keelut-Alaska, the Cold War with Operation Paperclip and Unit 731, Rwandan Genocide, Laos Civil War, Vietnam War, Bay of Pigs (Cuba), Lebanese Civil War, Cambodian Civil War, The Falklands War, conflicts in Africa and Middle East: mostly Iraq and Afghanistan, the Omagh bombing, Black September, Iran Hostage Crisis, the Tokyo subway sarin attack, September 11th, and 2008 Mumbai attacks._

 _Rarely he does_ _certain heists like the_ _Boston Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum theft, but often times does 'bored' cyber-hacking, hypo-robberies, hitmen missions (by fooling forensic evidence), and recent terrorist attacks such as the_ _Nocturama operation in Paris_ _._

 _He is, however, known in violent prison gangs such as the Mexican Fourth Company, doing business in cold fusion technology, and world-wide corrupt military and justice system in scandals and cover-ups. One of his "runway jury" scandals is exposed in New Orleans._

 _Recent plots which were all foiled, thanks to teamwork with this version of the Pines family and friends: kidnapping of royal pretenders and families (such as the House of Bonaparte) around the world, shoot-out at G20 meeting at WTO, remastering Nov. 5th at Big Ben's parliament which is housing an EU-and-NATO leaders' and banking families' meeting._

 _Their enemy then tries to frame this version of Dipper (who, in this dimension, then was 'retired' as an 'anti-detective' while Mabel became a FBI agent, after Cypher's defeat and disappearance) as a serial killer named the 'Triangle Man'._

 _The Triangle Man profile: kills people with leaving a triangular calling card, also a marked name for a serial killer to strike in random areas, also copycatting certain known serial killers, or from pop culture. Very starling around Broadway._

 _Additionally this evil person leaves out odd sets of clues: spiders,_ _white gloves, l_ _eaving sticky water running,_ _a necklace of red silk set with garnets,_ _four classical elements,_ _a riddle or another puzzle whose solution is a clue to his overall plot,_ _a rose and a black card with_ _a lipstick mark at every murder,_ _jigsaw pieces out of the flesh of the victim,_ _an onyx fox,_ _ace of hearts, Marksman's medals,_ _the words "Cast In The Name of God, Ye Not Guilty" written in red lipstick,_ _a distorted mask,_ _a card with a pink seashell design,_ _a literate calling card, katana slashings,_ _and origami figures and an orchid._

 _Other nicknames for the Triangle Man: Charles Manson, John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein, Ted Bundy, H.H Holmes, Ed Kemper, Gary Ridgeway, Sad-Face Killer, Happy-Face Killer, the highways' beltway killer, St. Pete Killer, Hannibal Lecter, Seven Sins Killer, The Red-Eyed Gnome, The Queen of Spades, and a "Bloody Bender"._

 _Uses homemade pipe-fireworks-dynamite/gunpowder substance in a shoe, to kill certain targets. Cyber-hacker; username-"CrestLester0D8E0X1", and aliases: "Retxed", John Dip, Bipper Doe, Billy Doe, or "Mr. Klassy"._

 _This leads to a rival imperial banking company being robbed, Dipper being behind it. Planning "biggest heist ever" by consisting aliases and codenames of Mickey Cohen, Cassie Chadwick, Soapy Smith, Ned Kelly, Joe Weil, Vincenzo Peruggia, Lancelotti, Dinsio, Adam Worth, Arthur Barry, Bruce Reynolds, and Willie Sutton plus Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis, Jr._

 _Disguises included the Snow White's 7 dwarfs, makeups, cowboys, certain U.S presidents, masquerade masks-that only covers eyes, a clown with a bomb threat, a construction worker, ski masks, skull masks, gothic masks, nuns, 19th century gangsters' outfits, all clean white outfits, women with blue painters jumpsuits with golden masks, clown masks, gas masks, Mike Myers masks, red hoodies, and police officers._ _Additionally, an inside man with a long box gift containing a rifle, with couple guys in trench coats and glasses. They cut off the power system, and stole an access card. Smuggled dynamites are in place._

 _Target: a grand opening bank/mall that has a pharmacy, a museum, multiple ATM machines of Citibank, Bank of America, Chase, and Wells Fargo Bank, a transfer truck and an armored car station, a jewel shop, a warehouse, a hotel, an airport, and a train station, along with a high tech vault system and its security which are similar to those of the Antwerp Diamond Center, Teikoku bank, a gold reserve, Swiss banks, the Coca Cola vault, Bahnhof, Dubai gold reserve, the KFC vault, the JP Morgan vault, Bank of England vaults, Cheyenne Mountain vaults, New York federal reserve bank, the White House, the Svalbard Seed vault, Iron Mountain vaults, Ft. Knox vaults, Granite Mountain vaults, Belfast Ireland bank, Carlton Hotel, Vienna banks, and Halton Garden Safe Deposit. Very locked and secure._

 _The planning: the team used a helicopter on top, a mob protesting violently-blocking incoming police from the west, fake police escort in the east, barging in like robbers and took hostages (not harmed) in south along with digging under, after performing as magicians in a inside stadium-hacked also with computers and sprinkled money to the audiences in the northern area where they are finishing up._

 _Eventually the chase was soon on. They divided into range of vehicles consisting: mini-cooper cars, go-carts, a bulldozer, a burning lumber truck, a tank, an army humvee, motorcycles, bicycles with scooters and skateboards, the bank's train, a monster truck, and a bus. Which all lead to parachuting to a dinghy and a speed boat. They escaped to a large luxury cruise liner to Carnival Sub that is in the river near to the sea where the cruise liner is. The final escape is in a seaplane._

 _Then for Dipper, he was forced by Cyher to drive an armored bulldozer on a rampage. But later foiled with a guy named "Jazz" Dent._

 _Dipper was indeed framed for the "Triangular Murders" and the heist, all evidence points to him as The Triangle Man along with this version of me training him to be a killer (False files states that this parallel version of me caused this version of Stanley's so-called unexpected death). However, it turns out a maniacal escapee was behind all of this by Cyher's orders-clearing the Pines from suspicions. In the finale showdown, he was arrested at the Four Corner, U.S by the states of Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, and Utah police._

 _Ex-Agent Dipper saved older Alex Rider from an attempted New Jersey terrorist attack at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, additionally at London-someone tried to bomb both home of Quan and a fake arranged meeting of MI6: targeting agents Bond, English, Powers, and Archer. Both Dr. Car Lightman and Sousuke Sagara meet assigned recruited FBI agents of Jane and Black with their combined teams to stop this._ _Certain yet-sometimes-incompetent_ _police officers from a police academy helped out._

 _It turns out these two attacks were a ploy, while Cyphe_ _r moves in with different terrorist groups: at Washington D.C, the US Captiol Building is bombed, the White House is attacked for its_ _nuclear arsenal (like the Nuclear Football) and to force the Cabinet to end America's global influence, such as the military branches and foreign aid, yet to destory certain unlikable regions. Hijacked Air Force One (to escape). Attacking the British government during its meeting with world's leaders. Planning to kidnap the Russian President. Framing Dipper and others; their allies were kidnapped and to be killed, later blamed for the attack._

 _The mastermind's endgame is thankfully foiled as the final fight took place on an emergency bullet train._

* * *

 _ **Beauty and the Beast:** This Doctor is a police box. He is amongst with parallel version of others where they are cursed with magic to become objects and items. Stan was cursed to be a "beast". This version of Dipper and Mabel healed his heart. Altogether they had to fend an angry mob with a chinese king's collection, dishes and pots, many contraptions (if they were an army of darkness) and illusions like a Wizard of Oz type, bedknobs and broomsticks, alive toys, and a live piano that fired bunch of keys._

 _ **Never Human:** This version of Stanley was stillborn, replaced with a Fae or Changeling. When in Fae mode, Stan had six glowing green eyes. It's later revealed that this version of Dipper is also Fae. _

_**Grim:** This version of Stanley befriends the Grim, omen of death (a magical dog). As soon as this version of me finds out what Stan's done he freaks out because, well, Stanley has the omen of death as his pet. Also, Stan makes his own journal._

 ** _A dimension where Bill's powers transformed Dipper into a beast._**

 ** _A dimension where Stan owns both a truck, and parallel version of me's lighthouse._**

 ** _A dimension Fiddleford and I fall in the portal._**

 _ **A dimension where Stan and I fall in the portal:** The Doctor takes care of the Twins._

 _ **Reverse Portal:** Stanley falls in instead of me._

 _ **A dimension where I joined Bill:** How horrifying-As long as I live, I WOULD NEVER!_

 _ **A dimension where Stanley joins Bill:** This Stan destroyed his own Ford, many Fords, and his home dimension. I had to evade him three times. **Terrifying!**_

 ** _A dimension where Stan and the twins all fall in when the portal reactivated again:_** _This version of the Doctor rescued all of them._

 _ **A dimension where this version of Bill succeeds of killing Dipper.**_

 _ **Ghost Stan:** Where Stan dies from an injury after a version of me comes back, he returns as a certain level of being a ghost. He confronts Bill when he possesses this version of Dipper. _

_**Psychic Pines:** In this dimension, during the height of the Civil Rights Movement, this version of me sneaks out to protests and picks people out from the crowd, tells them not to go down certain streets which in turn, their cause of death changes to old age rather than at the hands of some evil supremacist. Even foresees this version of the Vietnam War. _

_**Depravity:** FREAKY AS %#*!_

 _Alright, I think I can close for the day, hold on I think heard something outside, it must be Stan-who says he and the Doctor with the children were on a road trip or whatnot. He better not make a mess-_

* * *

9'22-5 19-20-9-12-12 14-5-22-5-18 19-5-5-14 15-14-5 15-6 20-8-5-19-5. 7-5-20 13-5 16-8-15-20-15-19 15-6 13-1-14-19-16-9-4-5-18!

19-15-15-19, 12-9-11-5 1 14-15-2-12-5 7-15-12-4-5-14 18-5-20-18-9-5-22-5-18, 5-22-5-14-20-21-1-12-12-25 6-15-21-14-4 8-9-19 23-1-25 8-15-13-5-23-1-18-4, 1-14-4 2-5-6-18-9-5-14-4-5-4 1 20-1-12-11-9-14-7 2-21-12-12-4-15-7 1-14-4 19-1-19-19-25 3-1-20 1-12-15-14-7 20-8-5 23-1-25.

2-15-20-8 4-15-3 1-14-4 19-20-1-14 11-14-15-23 20-8-1-20 18-5-12-1-20-9-15-14-19-8-9-16-19 1-18-5 16-18-5-20-20-25 20-1-3-11-25.


	37. Chapter 37

_**Going Against Time**_

The Doctor was at a local junkyard and looked up.

His focus was a man in a black hoodie, perhaps the attacker from the election rigging...

He ran after him.

So did the person.

The person lets the Doctor pursue him, zig-zagging all over.

When suddenly...

A punch collided to the Doctor's face, in turn, the Doctor kneel-jabbed his attacker.

Both pull out their tools.

They aimed at each other. A chain reaction was made...

The opposing forces pushed them back.

This prompted his attacker to leave quickly.

The Doctor looked up, but there wasn't anyone there...

* * *

Dipper Pines wakes up and screams.

Mabel Pines smiled, "Mornin', Dipper, guess who!"

"Oh, what joy. If it isn't Mr. Upside-Downington. How long's it been? Third grade, maybe?"

"That's right. And I'm here to deliver you an upside-downington-tastic message!"

"Is it the message that we're getting too old for this sort of thing?"

"Um, kinda, actually. It's that we are exactly one week away from our 13th birthday!"

"Whoa! Our birthday's coming up already? Soon we're gonna be actual teenagers!"

"Finally! I can stop reading preteen magazines and start reading post-preteen magazines!"

"PG-13 movies, here I come!"

"And just one more year until high school. High school, Dipper! Where girls become women and they teach us stuff about... You know what."

"Trigonometry?"

"Oh yeah, baby!"

Stan Pines and Soos Ramirez enter the room.

"That's not the only good news coming up! In one week my senior citizen's ponytail kit is coming in the mail. I'm...I'm kinda going through some things."

"In one week, my grandma is finally letting me eat crackers on my bed! The future is coming for us all, dudes." Soos adds in.

Everyone motioned their hands if they made a rainbow, "The Future!"

Dipper laughs, "I'm sorry, I can't take you seriously with that face on your chin."

Mabel giggles, "What face, Dipper?"

"You're-You're doing the voice so you obviously know what I'm talking about-"

"Bi bon't bnow bhat bou're balking about."

Dipper and Mabel both laugh.

"There is something wrong with you."

"There's something wrong with both of us."

Suddenly Dipper stated, "Hey where's the Doctor?"

* * *

Soon at Gravity Falls High School, where Nate and Lee are messing with its sign, which says "SAWDUST INHALATION DRILL- 8:00. GO FIGHTING BEAVERS." Mabel and Soos walk inside to see the gym filled with students.

"Whoa, Soos, I thought you said this place was empty."

Wendy comes up to them, "My dawgs, what up?"

"Wendy, what are you doing here?"

"Ugh, high school registration."

"Ooh! You know I'm only a year away from high school myself. Would you say your experience is more rom-com, or wacky romp?"

Wendy replies, "More like teen horror movie. High school is the worst. Classes get super hard, your body just flat out turns against you, and worst of all, everybody hates you."

Meanwhile they spot the Doctor helping out students to complete their registration. "-ech! Don't worry about the hardness, I barely passed at 54% mark!"

"Why aren't they singing about following their dreams? TV taught me that high school was like some sort of musical."

"TV lied, man! If you could avoid growing up, do it. I'd give anything to be 12 again. Anyway, what are you guys doing here?"

Mabel chuckles sadly, "Oh, just looking for a place to have my 13th birthday party."

"Wendy... Corduroy?" The Doctor asks.

"Right here Doc!"

Mabel exits the gym; on the walkie talkie, "Master Mabel to Dippidy Dog. We can have our party at the gym, but we gotta talk about high school. Starting to think it might not be the awesome future we were expecting. Over."

"I'm going through a bad patch, Mabel. We'll talk when I get back."

"Dipper? Come in, come in?"

Soos stated, "Hey, I know what'll make you feel better. Let's deliver some invites to your friends, huh?"

"Yeah!"

* * *

Few hours later, Dipper and Ford walking to the Floating Cliffs. They have decided to work to together to get Ford something to refirm the rift... the Doctor is also accompanies them.

"Listen, Dipper. In order to seal the rift for good, it's going to take an adhesive stronger than anything on earth. Something...extraterrestrial in origin."

"W-What do you mean?"

"Dipper, look at the peculiar shape made by those cliffs. Does it remind you of anything?"

"Hmm..."

Ford jingles his UFO key chain and holds it up over the cliffs. The Doctor grinned.

Dipper gasps quietly, "Shut. up!"

"According to my research, the entire valley of Gravity Falls was formed when an extraterrestrial object crash-landed here millions of years ago. Did this craft cause the town's strange properties? Or, did the town's strange properties attract the craft? The answer is still unknown."

The Doctor adds, "Most likely from a time crack like Ford found, and made the portal around it..."

"But, that's crazy! Where did the saucer go?"

"Sometimes the strangest things in the world are right under our noses." The Doctor then pushes rock away, revealing underground entrance, Ford continues, "And our feet, in this particular instance. Now you might wanna stand back. This magnet gun can rip the fillings out of a man's mouth from 100 feet."

Dipper backs away a few steps as Ford detaches the opening, "Whoa!"

"I used to raid this thing for parts for years. Where do you think I got the materials to build my portal?"

"You...I...words... not working for mouth."

Ford throws Dipper a magnet gun, "Now come. Take this!"

Dipper scrambles to catch the magnet gun, "Whoa, whoa!"

"Don't worry, me and the Doctor been down here countless times; all the aliens have been dead for millions of years. Probably."

The Doctor shrugs, "Basically a maybe-GERONIMO!"

* * *

Soon enough, the Doctor, Ford, and Dipper are inside the fallen saucer.

"I can't believe there's been a giant UFO under the town this whole time."

"I wish my mind could be where yours is right now, Dipper. When confirmation of extraterrestrials still had that punch. Now it's just sort of "eh." McGucket and I used to come down here all the time to raid their tech and study their language."

"This is so cool!" He takes a selfie with some of the alien symbols and laughs. However the Doctor is already familar of these symbols... and he hopes that after a long time from visiting-they are still offline...

"The substance we need to seal the rift is an alien adhesive. Strong enough to keep the hull of a spacecraft together. Just one dollop of this adhesive should be enough to seal a crack in space-time. Also, if it touches you it will seal up all the orifices in your face, so try to avoid that. Now, use your magnet gun and follow me. Hup!" He uses magnet gun to climb down a pillar.

"Great Uncle Ford!"

"Your turn! Say "hup"! It helps!"

Dipper releases a deep breath, "Okay. Just turn on magnet, leap down hole. Turn on... C'mon already. Magnet-Ah!"

The Doctor shouted, "WHOA!" The gun crashes upon the ceiling.

"A little help?"

* * *

"The glue should be around here somewhere, so keep your eyes peeled. Dipper, let me ask you something. Have you thought much about your future?"

The Doctor walks by them.

"No, not really. I mean, beyond graduating high school with a high GPA so I can get accepted to a good technical college with a photography and media production minor to start my own ghost hunting show."

"Ha, heh heh! It's like talking to a younger version of myself. If you're so sure of what you want out of life, why wait? Why put up with the drudgery of school?"

The Doctor quirks an eyebrow.

"Heh. Trust me, I'd love to fast-forward the whole thing, but it's not like I have a choice."

"Dipper, I've been thinking. I'm getting too old to investigate Gravity Falls on my own. I need to train an apprentice to help me fight monsters, solve mysteries, and protect this town. And I think I'd-I'd like to keep it in the family."

"What are you saying?"

"I've read your additions to my journal and I'm impressed with your potential. What would you say to staying in Gravity Falls after the summer ends and becoming my apprentice?"

"W-what about school?"

Ford replies, "Dipper, I have 12 PhDs. The Doctor here can give you a ride back and forth. Your parents would be thrilled I could give you such an advanced education."

"Hm, but the TARDIS often doesn't do that..." The Doctor then suddenly hears a whirling noise...

Dipper sighs, "There's also Mabel. She'd be all alone in California. Even if we have a time machine."

"Mabel will be fine on her own. She has a magnetic personality. I watched her become pen pals with the pizza delivery man in the 60 seconds he was at the door."

Dipper mutters, "Gosh, we've never really been apart before."

Ford then questions, "And isn't it suffocating? Dipper, can you honestly tell me you never felt like you were meant for something more?"

The Doctor frowns at that statement.

Dipper stammers, "I-I dunno. Sounds like a dream come true, but I'm not sure I have what it takes. I was tricked by Bill, I was wrong about Stan's portal. Heck, I can't even operate this magnet gun right." He then turns on the magnet gun and it sucks up a piece of metal. As Dipper tries to get it free, something pink seeps out of it.

"Ha! Yes! Dipper, you've found the adhesive!"

The Doctor scans it with his sonic, "Indeed it is!"

"I did?!"

"Hoho, you really did it, kid. Huddle in, let's get a picture of this-" Suddenly Ford hears something and holds up gun.

"Uh, Grunkle Ford, you said everything in here is dead, right?"

"Yes. Unless somehow we've reactivated the-"

"It can't be..."

"EX-TER-MI-NATE!" The shrill of evil that haunted many parts of the universe echoed throughout the fallen spaceship.

"But that's impossible! Ford and I examined this place all over unless-" The Doctor quickly held his sonic.

The doors open-spreading dust over the incoming figure.

An one-eyed metallic robot-like drone whirls upon the three. Soon two joined with the first one

Its eyestalk zoomed upon them.

"EXTERMINATE!"

The Doctor shouted, "THE DALEKS OF SKARO!"

"What do we do?!" Dipper screamed.

"Stay back! It's too dangerous! Sealing the rift is what's important now! Take this!" He quickly hands Dipper the rift.

The Dalek points its death ray on Ford. "INTRUDERS SHALL BE EXTERMINATED!"

Ford quickly shields Dipper.

"You're gonna have to do it without me! Doctor, use the adhesive! Fix the rift! Save the universe, Dipper!"

"EXTERMINATE!"

"I believe **decimate** is a better word...hold your fire-itchy trigger fingers!"

A voice interrupts them. Suddenly, the Doctor's face is a sign of dread.

The awaken Daleks then stopped and held their death rays.

"WE OBEY!"

The figure in the darkness approaches the three as all see his face.

"But then again-it's fun to see what you do next-" He grins cheeky.

It was a man, in a causal attire with a jacket. "-Doctor."

"It can't be..." The Doctor widens his eyes.

Dipper questioned, "Who is that-and... wait, You're newly elected Mayor Hector! How did you know about this spaceship?!"

"Even at their height of IQ, these apes are still amusing!"

The Doctor was horrified, "It's all in the name..."

"He."

 **H** ector.

"Will"

 **W** ector.

"Return."

 **R** ector.

The revealed foe smirks, "Who else let's someone to gain a pecuilar die, and arranged events before? Usually, my name would be: The Master!"

He adds cheerly, "Universally!"

The Doctor explains, "He's a Timelords-and one of the worst ones."

"Heh! HEH! HAHAHA! Oh Doctor how naive you are, old friend."

"HOW DID YOU GET CONTROL OF THESE DALEKS?!"

"Oh, they are under my command now-VERY EASY-and soon, our contractor shall upheld his deal: a "better" universe to rule."

"Whatever Cipher planned for you, won't work-it wouldn't include you!"

"Oh please, I would still love the after effects-"

"Well then, NOT TODAY!"

The Doctor pointed upwards, sparks crash upon the first revived Dalek, destroying it.

"ArRRRRrGH!" The Dalek screamed.

The Master smiles, "OH YOU PUBLIC MENANCE! Get Them!" He motions to the two others. He leaves after soon. "Play by the rules-NO CHEATING~!"

"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"

Ford fires a weapon, shattering the second one in pieces. "ATTACK IMPOSED. EXTERMINATE!"

However the third fired, which causes Ford to fall from the explosion after, which had him trapped in a escape pod. The Dalek fired again which triggers the pod to inject.

"Great Uncle Ford! Hang on, I'm coming for you!" He puts the rift in his backpack, "Don't worry! I'll get you out of there!"

"Where is that thing taking you?!"

The room glows purple and some kind of map appears.

"It's an automated escape pod! And wherever it's going, I'm not coming back!"

"What?!" Dipper gasps as the ceiling opens to outside.

"No, no, no... don't worry, I'll think of something!"

"Dipper!" The Doctor called after he distracts the last Dalek.

"Dipper! What on Earth are you doing?!"

Dipper puts duct tape around the magnet gun, "Hold on, Great Uncle Ford. I'm getting you out of this, one way or another! Oh no-Dipper Come on, come on!"

The Doctor jumps on, "WATCH-

The pod blasts away.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"OOOOOUUUUTTTT!"

The pod breaks through a grate and is outside, flying high into the air.

Dipper's hat falls off, grunting, pounds the pod, "Let go of my uncle!"

The pod, as Dipper screams, swerves around, flies through the crack in the cliff, through the waterfall and through the water tower. It bumps, knocking Ford unconscious.

"Ah! Great Uncle Ford! Okay, let's try: magnet pulse! Waaaaaaahhhh!"

"Dipper use this!"

The sonic flies and Dipper catches it. He presses the button to work the magnet gun. "GOT IT!"

The pod crashes into the woods. Dipper is lying behind it, bruised and moaning, while holding the sonic. The Doctor is not far from him-ragged.

"Uhhhhhh-Dipper are you alright?!"

Dipper gasps and runs to the pod, "Oh no! Oh no no no no!"

Both Dipper and the Doctor opens the window and runs in to Ford, who is still unconscious, "Come on, wake up, man! We gotta get out of here before-"

The previous and alive Dalek is right behind them. It begins to scan Dipper.

"Hey, uh, I'm warning you! I have a magnet gun!"

The Dalek points its death ray.

"Oh yeah!? You think you can scare me!? Do your worst! Nothing in this universe is gonna take away my uncle! So go ahead! Give me what you've got!"

Suddenly, the eyestalk was fired off by a certain force-sparks everywhere.

"ALERT! ALERT! VISION IMPAIRED! CANNOT SEE-!"

"Dipper now!"

Dipper fires his magnet gun causing the Dalek to shatter in pieces.

"Nice job!"

Ford awakes, "Ahahaha! Oh- Oh, I thought I was a goner, guys..."

Dipper runs to him, "Oh, are you alright?"

Ford leans on Dipper, "You done it Dipper!"

"I- I did it?"

"You did it."

Dipper walks over to the Dalek's head. The Doctor scans it if it's alive. He shakes his head.

"This is what I was talking about. I faced this foe's kind back in the multiverse. How many other twelve-year-olds do you think are capable of doing what you've just done."

Ford coutines, ""Listen to me, Dipper: this town is a magnet for things that are special. And that includes you and me. It brought both of us here for a purpose! Stay here with me, Dipper. Become my apprentice. Don't let anyone hold you-"

Dipper offers him his hand, "I'll do it; I'm gonna stay."

"Excellent." Ford grabs Dipper's hand and climbs out of the ditch, "Now who wants to save the world, apprentice?"

Dipper and Ford helped each while laughing.

The Doctor spots Dipper's walkie-talkie makeing static noises.

* * *

Dipper comes in, "Mabel! I just had the best day of my life! UFOs are real and there's one under the town and I saved Great Uncle Ford's life and- and..." He sees that Mabel is lying on her bed with her back to him, unmoving, "Hey, are you okay?"

"Tell me it's not true, Dipper. Tell me you were joking." SHe holds up the walkie-talkie, which emits static, "Ford's apprentice? Seriously?!"

"Look, I was thinking and... this is a huge opportunity for me."

Mabel cries, "Well it's a horrible opportunity for me! I had the worst day of my life! When we turn thirteen, the summer ends, and I have to leave everything behind. You're the only person I can count on and now you're leaving me too!?"

"Look, I've been thinking about it. I won't be gone forever, okay? I'll still visit you at home, and we'll chat online; we'll make it work."

"I don't want it to work. I just wish summer could last forever!"

Dipper walks over to her and puts his arm on her, "But it can't, Mabel. Look, things aren't gonna stay frozen this way. It's part of growing up. Things change. Summer ends.

Mabel suddenly yells and runs away. She passes by the Doctor. "Mabel?" he asked.

"Ah!" Dipper falls over, as he was leaning on her, "Mabel, wait! I didn't mean it like that! Mabel, come back!"

Mabel runs into the woods crying; sits under a tree, digs through the backpack. "Only party chocolate can cheer me up now. Nerd books? Chewed up pens? Ugh, wrong backpack." It was Dipper's backpack...

"Not fair. I just wish summer could last forever." She pulls her sweater over herself.

"That might be possible!"

"Sweatertown is not accepting incoming calls right now."

"Mabel, it's me. It's fine"

"What? Who said that?"

By her surprise it was the Doctor, he was up to her, "I can help."

"Doctor? What are you doing here?"

He smiles, "You said you don't want summer to end, right? Did I hear that right?"

"Yeah... why are you asking?"

"Look, maybe it's against the rules, but you were upset, so I thought I could help you out. It's called _a time bubble,_ and it prevents time from going forward. Summer in Gravity Falls can last as long as you want it to!"

Mabel wipes up her tears, "R-Really? But how does it work?"

"I just need you to get a little gizmo for me from your uncle." The Doctor pulls his watch and clicks it as it displays the rift, "It's something small. He won't even know it's missing."

"Huh. Maybe Dipper has something like that in his nerd-bag."

* * *

Meanwhile Ford is in the lab. Dipper walks in.

"Let me guess: Mabel didn't take it well?"

"I don't know, maybe I'm making the wrong decision. I need to think about this."

"Dipper, right now we need to focus on the mission. Now come on, I've got the glue; hand me the rift and let's make history."

The Doctor comes in, "It doesn't have to be that way. The future isn't made right now yet, Ford."

"Doctor! It's an important time for Dipper. He can push the limits of his skills-he can be greater than ever known!"

The Doctor tells him, "This isn't the way-we worked once together, and what happened? We almost unleashed the **Time War!** "

Ford's expression suddenly darkened.

Dipper reaches into bag and pulls out birthday flyer, "What? Oh no! The RIFT!"

Both Ford and the Doctor looked up quickly. Suddenly the Doctor realizes something...

He quickly ran out first.

* * *

Mabel pulls the rift out of the backpack, "Huh. That's... odd. This it?"

"Yes, that's it! Just hand it over and I'll do my thing. Unless you're ready to leave Gravity Falls..."

"Just a little more summer... please Doctor" She gives it to him.

The Doctor widely grinned.

"Of course... WHOOPS!"

He drops it and stomps on it, breaking it. "MABEL!" A shout was heard.

The Doctor runs where she was. Mabel looks back at him, and to the imposter.

"Wait-What?!"

The imposter then laughs, harder and harder.

He pulls his mask off, which revealed the Doctor's common arch-rivial, the Master. Not only that, his eyes were yellow-slits as if he was caught with the cheetah virus again.

"Oh no! Wait, wait wait!"

Bill snaps his fingers, making Mabel fall unconscious and leaves the body, _"At last! At long, long last! The gateway between worlds has opened!"_

He looked at the Doctor and laughed, _"The event one billion years prophesized has finally come to pass! The day has come! The world is finally mine!_ _YOU FAILED DOCTOR! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_ He laughs maniacally as the rift tears reality into his playground: the monsterous waste that came from the Time War, whereas known as the Nightmare Realm.

Townspeople look on, worried. Wind blows. Dipper and Ford run out of the Mystery Shack.

"What's going on?! What is that?!"

Ford shouted, "We're too late! It's the end of the world."

Bill rises up, laughing and cackling maniacally.

 _"THE WORLD IS FINALLY MINE!"_

* * *

13-1-24-9-13-21-13 5-24-20-5-18-13-9-14-1-20-9-15-14! 20-8-5 4-1-12-5-11-19 1-18-5 6-18-5-5 6-18-15-13 20-8-5 20-9-13-5 23-1-18! 14-5-23 4-9-13-5-14-19-9-15-14 20-15 3-15-14-17-21-5-18!

4-9-4 25-15-21 13-9-19-19 13-5?

20-8-5 16-18-15-16-8-5-3-25 19-5-5-13-5-4 6-1-18 1-23-1-25 2-21-20 6-9-14-1-12-12-25 23-5'22-5 18-5-1-3-8-5-4 20-8-5 4-1-25. 7-9-22-5 21-16 20-8-5 16-1-19-20. 5-13-2-18-1-3-5 20-8-5 19-20-18-1-14-7-5. 5-22-5-18-25-20-8-9-14-7 25-15-21 3-1-18-5 1-2-15-21-20 23-9-12-12 3-8-1-14-7-5.


	38. Chapter 38

_**WeIrDmAgEdDoN**_

Bill is laughing below the tear in the sky.

"Oh, it's happening. It's finally finally happening!" He continues laughing as what appears to be muscle fiber covers him. "Physical form? Don't mind if I DO! " Is encased in a metal pyramid and vanishes.

The Master wakes up, "Why, at last it begans. Save your world again Doctor! HAHAHAHAHA!"

The Doctor glared at him as he quickly ran back to the Mystery Shack.

* * *

"What the—?"

Vice-mayor Tyler Cutebiker gasps.

"Wha?"

 _" **Alright, listen up you one lifespan, three dimensional, five sense skin puppets!** For one trillion years I've been trapped in my own decaying dimension with the dark ones and death lords alike, waiting for a new universe to call my own. Name's Bill! But you can call me your new lord and master for all of eternity!"_

He melts the statue of Nathaniel Northwest.

Blubs, Durland, and Tyler all gasp.

 _"Now meet the gang of interdimensional criminals and nightmares I call my friends._ " Bill laughs.

 _"8 Ball!"_

 _"Kryptos!"_

 _"Animus!"_

 _"Chronovores!"_

 _"Time Wraiths!"_

 _"Swimmers!"_

 _"Time Beetles!"_

 _"The Elemental Shade!"_

 _"Krampus!"_

 _"The-being-whose-name-must-never-be-said!"_

The giant monster stomps upon the ground.

 _"Haha, what the heck. It's Zanthar. Then of course there's also Teeth, Keyhole, Hectorgon, Amorphous Shape, Pyronica, Paci-Fire, and these guys."_ He gestured to the eye-bats. _"THERE ARE MORE BADDIES YET TO COME! This is our town now, boys!"_

Bill and his cronies cheer.

Tyler unwittingly steps up, "Now see here, you unholy triangle fella. As mayor, I strongly urge you to git...git on out of here."

"Yeah! Things with one eye are weird!"

"We don't like out-of-towners."

Manly Dan roared, "We punch what we DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

Preston comes up, "I would just like to say that as a rich capitalist I welcome your tyrannical rule. Perhaps I could be one of your, uh... horsemen of the apocalypse?"

Pacifica objects, "Dad!"

"Not now, sweetie, the grownups are talking."

Bill quirks up, _"Oh wow, that's a great offer. How 'bout instead I shuffle the functions of every hole in your face?_ " He snaps fingers; Preston's face becomes mixed up.

Preston falls over, screaming as his family watches in horror.

Bill laughs as the people run away from his might, and turns Durland to stone.

"Durland! My precious Deputy Durland. No!"

An Eye-Bat takes Durland away.

 _"It's time we do a little redecorating. **I could really use a castle of some kind**!"_

A pyramid forms in the sky, " _And how about some bubbles of PURE MADNESS!"_

A bubble passes through Sprott, who rips off his shirt and screams madly.

 _"This party never stops. Time is dead and meaning has no meaning. Soon enough the **Circle of Transcendence** will crack! The early ones with the deities of dust and destruction shall return! Existence is upside-down and I reign supreme. WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO WEIRDMAGEDDON!"_

The water tower roars.

* * *

Ford stated, "So this is how the world ends. Not with a bang but with a... boop-boop."

"Weirdmageddon." Dipper shivered.

The Doctor runs up them, "It's not over yet! The big ball of weirdness surrounds the valley-Bill and his forces can't go anywhere; but we have to stop him!"

Birds caw and fly over Ford and Dipper. Various animals follow them.

Fords remembered the limits to Bill's power, "The rift is shattered. Bill's world is spilling into this town and every minute his powers grow stronger!"

"Mabel! The rift must have cracked inside her backpack. She must be in danger. I have to go find her. Mabel! Come in, Mabel! Mabel!"

Ford stops him, "Dipper. Listen to me. We can find your sister soon, but first we have to stop Bill. If we can blast him back through the rift he came out of, we just might be able to stop him before his weirdness spreads across the entire globe."

The Doctor stated, "Mabel..." He points to a giant bubble that has a shooting star upon it.

Dipper looks and then questions Ford, "Are you sure defeating Bill is even possible?"

"No. I'm not sure. But being a hero means fighting back even when it seems impossible. Will you follow me?"

"To the ends of the Earth."

"Good. Because that's where we're heading-"

The Doctor quickly gestures them to run inside the Shack, "You also might want to step inside."

A wave washes over the Mystery Shack and over Soos' house, causing the barbecue to come to life and run away.

Meanwhile Stan is nailing a sign to a tree.

Gompers grabs the tassel on Stan Pines' fez.

"Hey!"

Gompers tears off the tassel and eats it.

"That's it, goat! It's time I threw you off this property for good!"

The wave comes over them and Gompers grows until he is as tall as the trees.

"On second thought, I'm gonna run like a coward now." he screams and runs away.

* * *

Chaos is expanding. The wave washes over it and several video game characters break out the windows.

Rumble McSkirmish shouts out, "Ha! Freedom! Freedom to PUNCH!"

At Gravity Falls Maximum Security Prison, Gompers eats a bit of the ceiling, making the rest crumble down.

Prisoners look outside and gasp.

Gideon looks at the three-headed bird which has landed on his hand. It screeches, "Oh my. Bill came through. True to his word!"

* * *

Bill is talking to his friends downtown. Meanwhile higher chaotic beings relish their time, or see what Bill does next.

 _"Ready to cause some havoc, boys?!"_

Behind Bill, Dipper looks out the clock tower and Ford readies his rifle. The Doctor looks out.

"Ah, my quantum destabilizer. I've been waiting a long time to use this. We're only gonna have one chance to take this shot. Steady... steady... and..."

The wave washes over them, making the bell come to life.

"Woohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoo! I'm alive now!"

"GAH!" The Doctor shouts.

Ford misfires, and hits Bill's hat, "Oh no!"

Bill's hat heals. If he had a mouth, he would have smirked, " _Well, well, well, and here I thought today couldn't get any BETTER!"_ Fires a beam at the tower, destroying it.

The Doctor shouts, "GET DOWN!"

 _ **KA-BAM-O!**_

Dipper line in the wreckage, bruised, "Great uncle Ford! Doctor!"

The Doctor groans as he lifts himself up, his face is almost all cut up and scratched.

Ford is trapped under some wreckage, grunts, "Dipper! Doc! Take my journals!" he quickly slides the backpack to Dipper, who picks up Journal 3, "Listen, I know of one other way to defeat Bill, it's-" He hears something behind him, "Oh, no! Dipper! Run! Get down!"

Dipper runs down the stair.

Bill rises behind Ford with the six-fingered hand symbol in his eye, " _Good old six-fingers. I've been waiting an_ ** _ETERNITY_** _to have a chat face to face_."

He lifts him up.

 _"Everyone, this armageddon wouldn't be possible without help from our friend here. Give him a six-fingered hand!"_

Dipper comes around the corner of the clock tower. The Doctor is with him. He narrows at Bill's taunting.

 _"This brainiac is the one who built the portal in the first place! Now don't look so sour, Fordsy. It's not too late to join me. With that extra finger, you'd fit right in with my freaks."_

"I'll die before I join you! I know your weakness, Bill!"

 _"Oh, yeah? And I know a riddle. Why did the old man do this?"_

"This?"

Bill shoots a laser at Ford, petrifying him in gold.

Dipper gasps.

Bill picks up Ford, " _Because I needed a new backscratcher!_ " He laughs with his friends as he scratches himself with Ford.

"That's enough! Hand over my uncle! Or else!"

Bill flashes foward, blinding the Doctor and Dipper, _"Now isn't. This. **INTERESTING?** My old puppets is back for an encore. Soon, Doctor-your past victories will become the present defeats! Think about it-soon the time vortex will bring back Sutekh, Fenric, the Destoryer, Black Guardian, Ragnaroks, and that devil itself will have their chance if you do survive this!" _

He looked at Dipper, "You _think you can stop me? Go ahead, Pine Tree, show me what you've got. Doc here will help you if you GET POUNDED!"_

"I...uh... I... uh... "

The Doctor suddenly sees Dipper's anger rising.

 _"I UM I. Do it, kid. Do some brilliant thing that takes me down right now. Whattdya got, Pine Tree, everyone's waiting. DO IT!"_

Dipper jumps at Bill, "Augh, BILL!"

The Doctor quickly held Dipper back, "Dipper NO! Let's Get of here!"

Dipper struggles in his grasp. "Let Me AT HIM!"

Bill's friends all laugh.

Dipper grabs his Journal 3.

Suddenly Bill levitates all of the journals, _"That's right. Always listen to Doc. Don't be a hero, kid. This is what happens to heroes in my world!"_ He burns them.

"NO! THE JOURNALS!"

 _"Not much of a threat now, are you? Now can anyone remind me why we came here?"_

"To get WEIRD!"

Bill then lightens up, " _THAT'S RIGHT! VIP party at the Fearamid. Oh, and 8 Ball, Teeth, you've earned a treat, have BOTH for a snack!"_

 _"Hench-maniacs, ROLL OUT!"_

The Doctor grabs Dipper, and made him go ahead running, "RUN!"

* * *

After escaping Teeth and 8 Ball, the Doctor and Dipper forumate a plan.

"Bill's is not out on the world yet, Mabel is trapped in that bubble-we need to find the others!"

"The mall! Maybe they're hiding in there-Oh no!"

The Horrifying Sweaty One-Armed Monstrosity appears, "Hey. Hey you. Hey, I wanna talk to you. I wanna talk to you about going inside my mouth. I- I think you wanna get in here. (Crawling toward Dipper) Hey, you, hey! I'm talkin' to you, man! You don't have to make a big deal outta this! Hello! HELLO!"

Both Doctor and Dipper forces themselves through the mall's automatic doors, but gets stuck in them.

The Horrifying Sweaty One-Armed Monstrosity slaps the door, freeing them, "Why are you just ignoring me!"That's seriously rude to just IGNORE someone like this!"

"Stan! Mabel!" Dipper sees doritos on a table. "Huh, maybe at least I can get something to eat. The last chips on Earth." He picks them up and is trapped in a net, "Ah! HELP! The nachos tricked me!"

The Doctor called out, "Hold still!" He sets him free.

Wendy pokes her head out from a plant, "Dipper?"

"Wendy!? Oh no! You've been transformed into some sort of... tree monster!"

"Ha! It's just camouflage. My dad made me and my brothers do apocalypse training every year instead of Christmas. Guess it's sort of cool the paranoia paid off." She shoots a bat. "Nice! Bat meat!"

"Ah! Wendy, I'm so glad to find you!" He hugs her, "I thought everyone I knew was gone."

"Hey, hey, it's okay. We have each other now. And Toby Determined, who I accidentally mistook for a monster."

"This just in: this arrow in my shoulder."

"We shouldn't stay out in the open for too long. Let me show you my hideout. We were playing Truth or Dare in the cemetary when it happened. The eyeballs froze Nate, Lee, Tambry and Thompson. Robbie almost got away but had to pause to take a selfie. What about you two?

"I was in a fight with Mabel when it happened. Uncle Ford asked me to be his apprentice once the summer was over. But that would mean I wouldn't go back home. It would mean growing up without Mabel."

"We tried to take out Bill with Ford's weapon, but we misfired."

"Oh, dudes."

"Mabel didn't take it well and she ran off into the forest. She couldn't even look me in the eye." Dipper added.

"Come on. Let's get some fresh air. Toby, you watch the camp."

"Don't call me "Toby" anymore. Call me Bodacious T!"

"No one will ever call you that."

Toby pouts, "Ooh..."

* * *

"The end of the world. Man, those death metal album covers got it shockingly right."

"You know, I used to think I could get out of anything, but this? The journals are destroyed, Ford is captured and I can't find my family anywhere. Bill said it himself, there's no room for heroes out here. We lost."

"Not yet. The weirdness isn't spreading."

Wendy adds in, "Look, dude, it's not over yet. You've beaten Bill twice before, why is this time any different?"

"'Cause then I had Mabel. We could go back in time, you know-"

"The TARDIS is far from me, besides-this is a fixed point now; if I use my time machine; paradoxes will fester worse than this." The Doctor replied. "The time crack is out there...meanwhile, at least there aren't reapers..."

"Then you need to get Mabel back. Look, this summer, I've seen some amazing things, but nothing as amazing as you and your sister. I don't know if it's dumb luck or yin and yang, or whatever, but when you two work together, there's like nothing you two can't accomplish. You just need to make up, and team up, and save the universe."

Dipper nods.

The Doctor stated, "Then let's save Mabel."

Dipper pointed to the giant pink purplish bubble, "Over there then!"

"Whoa, it that like twin ESP?"

"No, we don't have that, but we do have this thing where our allergies totally act up at the same time." He sneezes, "Mabel needs us. But how are we gonna get out there without being caught?"

"I have an idea."

* * *

"The abandoned auto-mart. Free cars right for the hot-wiring. We just found our ride to Mabel. I wonder if they have a tank. I've always wanted to drive a tank!"

"I can't believe this place is just abandoned."

Toby looks into a car, "Ooh, an air freshener. Finally I'll smell like a person. Stealy stealy..."

A tranquilizer dart hits him. The Doctor shouts, "Toby!"

"Ah! It's gonna take more than one dart to keep me from-"

Several more darts hit him and he collapses.

"Oh NO!" Wendy shouts.

Three car headlights turn on in front of them. Three giant cars, each with escaped prisoners inside, surround them.

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a pair of ground walkers."

"Heheh! Ground walkers! Heheh! Ain't got no wheels!"

Prisoners laughs.

"Listen Discount Auto Warriors!"

"We just wanna make it to that bubble out east" Dipper added.

"We have no quarrel with you!" Doctor explains.

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong! Hands where I can see 'em!" Gideon announced.

"Y'all fellers ain't goin' nowhere."

Wendy questions, "Y'all?"

"Fellers?" Wait... Gideon!?"

"That's Sheriff Gideon! Under the authority of Bill Cipher, I place you two under arrest! Oh, hi, Wendy! Have we formally met?"

Prisoners lead The Doctor, Dipper, and Wendy to Gideon, who is standing on the back of a truck.

"Wooooo-we! Look what the apocalypse dragged in! Y'all are in a twelve-piece bucket of deep fried trouble now! Ghost-Eyes! Spitoon!"

"Ugh, it's Gideon."

"And he's gotten folksier."

"Ma' old pal Bill figured you might try to rescue Mabel. So he appointed me, master of these wastelands, and keeper of the bubble! My sweet precious Mabel's trapped inside and I HAVE THE ONLY KEY!" He shows them a key with the shooting star symbol on it. "Wrapped around my... well I wouldn't call it a neck exactly, wrapped around this little pocket of fat under ma' head?"

The Doctor calls out, "Gideon, you have no right to keep her in there!"

"Bill explained it to me nice and simple: she was always destined to be mine!And now that I have her in a cage she'll learn to love me! I have an eternity to wait! Ghost-Eyes! Ready to escort our friends to Bill's dungeon?"

Ghost-Eyes piccks Dipper and Wendy up. Two ex-cons surround the Doctor.

"Uh! No! Hey!"

"This isn't gonna work, Gideon."

"Oh? And why's that?"

"Cause after I break Ghost-Eyes' arm and steal that key from your neck, I'm gonna wear your butt on my foot like a rhinestone slipper!"

"Oho, and what makes you think you can do all that?"

Wendy annouced, "'Cause I'm a flippin' CORDUROY!" She flips over Ghost-Eyes' arm and pulls him back.

Dipper falls on the ground and ducks, tripping Ghost-Eyes.

"COME BACK! I have the authority here!"

The Doctor states, "Oh I understand everything-except for that hair," he then hammers the prisoners' waists and escapes.

Dipper and Wendy goes with him.

"Ghost-Eyes! My hench-angel!"

"Ha!" Wendy grabs Gideon and rips the key from his neck, to prisoners, "Get back! Get back! Or I will drop-kick him, I swear!" She breaks a car window and unlocks it.

"You'll never get away with this, ya hear me?!"

"Guess what? We already DID!" Wendy kicks Gideon into the other prisoners.

"Wendy, you're the coolest person I know."

"I know, dude. Tell me about it later."

The Doctor motions her, "DRIVE!"

Gideon shouted his men, "After them! We are not letting 'em get Mabel! Discount Auto-mart Warriors, rollout!"

"Okay, all we have to do is outrace Gideon's henchmen, unlock the bubble, save Mabel, save the world. Quick question: did you ever get your driver's license?"

"Definitely not. Arm!" She drove to avoid the Horrifying Sweaty One-Armed Monstrosity.

Dipper and Wendy shout, "GAH!" The Doctor held on his fedora, "HOLD ON!"

The Horrifying Sweaty One-Armed Monstrosity grabs one of the cars.

"Uhahhhhh! "

The Horrifying Sweaty One-Armed Monstrosity eats the car.

"Swerve swerve! I can't let 'em free Mabel!

"Remind me why you're keeping your girlfriend in a prison bubble again? Have we, the prisoners, become the wardens?"

"SHE LOVES ME! She just doesn't know it yet. Now quit the philosophy."

"Sorry. It was my major."

The cars drive toward some bubbles.

"Ha! Weirdness bubbles blockin' the path! WOOOOWEE we got 'em now!"

"Watch it! Go around that bubble field!"

"No way around! Hold on! We're goin' through!"

"What's even in there?!"

All three scream as they enter a bubble, then they have bird heads.

 _"For some reason, I really want worms right now."_

 _"Eat worms! Fly south! Nest!"_

 _"I am a bird now, birds are cool."_

The car exits the bubble and all three are normal again.

Dipper coughs up feathers, "Oh, that was horrible!" The Doctor spits out feathers, "Less talking, more driving!"

"Here comes another one, dude! Brace yourself!"

Dipper and Wendy screaming, they become anime characters, then they are made of meat products, then they become live-action.

Gideon and Ghost-Eyes also went screaming when they followed them, they become made of 3D blocks, female versions of themselves in dresses and make-up, and old-fashioned silent cartoon versions of themselves, a card comes up that says: "AAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Both the cars are back to normal. Ghost-Eyes slams his truck against Wendy's car, breaking the glass.

"GAH!"

"Wendy, we're almost there! We just have to make that jump!"

"Total lack of driver's training, don't fail me now!" She accelerates and drives off the cliff, screaming as the car flies through the air.

"RIDE OR DIE I GUESS!" The Doctor shouts.

The car hits the ground and rolls. When it stops, the passenger door opens and Dipper falls out.

"So... close. Mabel... I'm... almost there!" Suddenly stops in front of a figure in a cloak.

He offers him his hand and pulls back his hood, "Heya, Dipper. How's it hanging?"

"Soos!"

Wendy stands up from behind the car, bruised with the Doctor supporting her, "Soos?"

"Handyman of the apocalypse, at your service."

"Soos! How'd you, where'd you-?"

"I've been wandering the plains like a desperado, helping strangers. I guess there's some folk songs about me now? Let me see what the damage is, here. Ah, well the good news is: your arm is okay."

Dipper asked, "So what's the bad news?"

"Bad news is we're surrounded, dudes."

The Doctor shielded all three.

The prisoners have surrounded them, cheering.

"Wooowee. I dare say y'all almost had the jump on me there for a second. But this ain't your Gravity Falls anymore! Out here, I win. Bill's henchbats will be here any minute to retrieve y'all. MABEL'S MINE NOW! Hahahaha!"

"Is she?"

"Well, yeah. I have her trapped, ergo, Mabel is MINE!"

Dipper looks at his key then to Gideon, "Gideon, listen to me, if I've learned anything this summer it's that you can't force someone to love you. (Looking at Wendy) The best you can do is strive to be someone worthy of loving."

"Oh, I'm worthy o' lovin'! These prisoners love me!"

"But Mabel doesn't. Because you're selfish. But you can change! Bill thinks there's no heroes in this world, but if we work together and fight back, we can defeat him. You wanna be Mabel's hero? Stand up to Bill, and let us save her!"

"That's crazy! You know what Bill would do to me if that happens?!"

"What, you scared of Bill?"

"No, I ju... it's a complicated situation."

"Look inside, Gideon. If all this is for Mabel, then ask yourself what Mabel would want you to do."

Gideon looks at the newspaper article, looks at the picture of him and Mabel together, with him smiling and Mabel looking unconformable, quietly, "Dipper. Will you tell her what I did?"

"Of course."

"I hope you're right about this. Guys, new plan! Bill's minions are gonna be on us in seconds. But I'm not gonna let that dumb triangle be the warden o' me! Y'all ready for a good old fashioned prison brawl?!"

"We're behind you for life, brother!"

"Fighting children is boring, but fighting a chaos god sounds fun!"

"Lets do this! Henchmen, rollout!"

Prisoners cheer, "GIDEON! GIDEON!"

Soos wipes his brow, "Whew! And I thought I was gonna have to throw down!"

The Doctor smiles at Dipper, "Nice reasoning with them..."

* * *

"Okay, remember, guys. This is a prison bubble designed by Bill. We've got to prepare ourselves for what we find in here."

"Whatever it is, we'll do it together. For Mabel!" He put his hand in the center.

Wendy puts her hand on top of his, "For Mabel!"

The Doctor puts his hand on top of hers, "For Mabel, indeed!"

Dipper then puts his hand on top of theirs, "For Mabel." He unlocks the padlock and the chains fall to the ground.

 _"Let's do this..."_

* * *

12-9-22-5-19 12-9-22-5 23-9-12-12 12-9-22-5. 4-9-5-19 4-9-5-4 23-9-12-12 4-9-5. 15-14 20-8-5 16-1-18-20 15-6 20-8-9-19 16-12-15-20: 8-1-9-12 20-8-5 2-5-1-19-20 15-6 15-14-5 5-25-5. 2-9-12-12 9-19 14-15-20 10-21-19-20 1 3-1-18-20-15-15-14 22-9-12-12-1-9-14, 20-8-5 8-5-1-18-20, 8-5 6-9-18-19-20 1-20-20-1-3-11 20-8-5-9-18 8-5-1-18-20-19, 20-8-5-14 20-8-5-25 8-1-22-5 16-5-18-13-9-19-19-9-15-14 20-15 4-9-5-1-6-20-5-18 20-8-5-9-18 19-16-9-18-9-20 15-18 2-15-4-25 2-18-5-1-11-19 6-9-18-19-20. 7-18-1-22-9-20-25, 18-5-1-4-25 6-15-18 1-14-15-20-8-5-18 12-5-19-19-15-14? 9-20 23-9-12-12 23-1-11-5 25-15-21 9-14 20-8-5 14-9-7-8-20 15-6 20-8-5 14-9-7-8-20-13-1-18-5 18-5-1-12-13-19 25-15-21 4-1-14-3-5-4 23-9-20-8 4-18-5-1-13-19 9-14 20-8-5 13-15-15-14-12-9-7-8-20. 11-14-5-5-12 2-5-6-15-18-5 8-9-13.

8-15-23 9-18-15-14-9-3, 20-8-5 16-15-23-5-18 15-6 21-14-9-22-5-18-19-5, 9-14 20-8-5 16-1-12-13 15-6 20-8-5-9-18 8-1-14-4. 5-22-5-18-25-20-8-9-14-7 20-8-5-25 13-1-4-5 23-9-12-12 6-1-12-12. 23-8-25 20-8-5 19-5-18-9-15-21-19-14-5-19-19? 23-9-12-12 7-18-15-23, 23-9-12-12 2-21-18-14, 23-9-12-12 6-1-12-12, 23-9-12-12 18-9-19-5, 23-9-12-12 2-5 12-15-19-20, 2-5-20-18-1-25-1-12 20-18-9-21-13-16-8-1-14-20 1-23-1-11-5-14-19 1-14-4 19-12-5-5-16-19, 2-1-14-9-19-8-13-5-14-20 1-14-4 18-5-20-21-18-14.

7-1-13-5 9-19 15-22-5-18, 1-14-4 9 23-15-14. 14-15-23 9-20'19 20-9-13-5 20-15 19-20-1-18-20 20-8-5 6-21-14. 9 1-12-23-1-25-19 12-15-22-5 3-15-18-18-21-16-20-9-14-7 12-9-22-5-19. 14-15-23 12-5-20'19 19-5-5 23-8-9-3-8 16-9-14-5-19 19-21-18-22-9-22-5-19


	39. Chapter 39

_**Running Away From Reality**_

Almost all of the townsfolk were seized and turned to stone by many eye-bats.

Bill Cipher, the monsterous evil triangle, taps a fork on Ford Pines, who is still turned to gold, and the music stops.

 _"Ladies, gentlemen, that creature with like 87 different faces!"_

 ** _"88 different faces!"_**

 _"Whoa-ho, sorry - touchy subject. Anyways, it's been fun turning Gravity Falls inside out, rounding up all its terrified citizens and then stacking them into this **massive throne of frozen human agony!** Don't worry, they're not conscious anymore. Probably._

Lazy Susan unfreezes _, "Uh, my omelettes. They-they have friendly faces-"_

"Whoops. Hehe, back, back you go there!"

He pokes Lazy Susan back into place until she turns back into stone, " _But Gravity Falls is just the beginning. It's time to take our chaos worldwide! Alright boys, to the corners of the Earth. Set the world aflame with your weirdness. This WORLD is ours!"_

Bill's friends come out of the Fearamid in excitement.

"Ah, global domination. I could get used to-"

Suddenly the demons hit an invisible shield and fell down.

Bill screamed in anger, " _ **WHAT**_?!"

He goes to the shield and pokes it; the Doctor was correct in the information that the whole town is surrounded by an invisible force shield, containing the rift and Bill's chaos...

 _"Hmm, this might be more complicated than I thought..."_

"I think I broke something-"

 ** _"Walk it off!"_**

* * *

"Mabel! Mabel! Okay guys, Bill has taken over the town and if his weirdness spreads he's gonna take over the whole world. Our first step to stopping him is rescuing Mabel, but he's got her trapped in this strange prison bubble!"

"What is this place anyway?"

The Doctor shouted, "Watch your feet!"

The ground starts cracking with rainbow-colored fractures; Soos, Dipper and Wendy scream as they fall.

"Guys, if I die, I wanna die hugging!" He grabs Dipper, the Doctor, and Wendy in a hug,

"Soos, you're choking me."

"Let my body be your shield!" Soos replied.

They screamed until all land on a bouncy-house.

"Huh? Is the entire ground a bouncy castle?"

"Do you hear 80's music?"

"And does the air smell like childlike wonder?"

Dipper, Wendy and Soos looks out, "Whoa."

"This is Mabel's prison?"

The Doctor scans the area with his sonic, "Yep... otherwise known as the Land of Fiction! More brighter than the Blazing World... and similar to the Toymaker's domain..."

 _"It's fun-o'clock everyone. Today's weather calls for rainbows with a chance of dance parties. If you are the owner of a unicorn with a top hat, please come to the ice cream beach. Your unicorn is being towed."_

Soos asks causally, "What is this new world? Shining, shimmering, splendid!"

A pineapple runs screaming as Xyler and Craz, Mabel dream boys, drive up and almost run it over.

Craz announced, "Welcome to Mabeland!"

"And this is worse than the apocalypse." Dipper muttered.

The Doctor added, "I certainly agree..."

Wendy rubs her eys, "Dude, this place hurts my eyes."

Xyler informs, "Oh that's normal. Mabeland's rainbows have colors only bees and art students can see. Now who wants to go on the grand tour?!"

"Do we have a choice?"

Xyler and Craz looked each other, "Nope!"

* * *

They begin driving with Dipper, Soos and Wendy in the car.

Xyler continues, "Mabeland is the ultimate paradise and the only rule: there are no rules!"

"Except for one rule which is very serious. But no one would ever break it, so it's not worth mentioning."

Xyler and Craz both five each other, "Yeah!"

Dipper informs them, "Listen creepy dream guys, we're not here to party, okay? We just need to find Mabel and get her out of here. Where is she?"

"Our home girl Mabel lives at our next stop." The car crashes through a building, hits a fire hydrant, and skids through the street.

"No rules!"

They arrive at a beach.

"Now, come have rad snacks served by awesome penguins."

Penguins walk up with trays full of food and drinks.

Wendy takes a drink, "Oh, score! I'm so hungry."

Soos also takes one, "Yeah, I haven't eaten anything except for part of my hat for the last three days."

Soos and Wendy cink cups.

One of them offered one to the Doctor, "No thank you! Jelly babies are just fine by me!" He chews one.

"Can you guys just hold on a second? Do you see what's happening here? Don't forget this world was created by Bill!" he slaps Soos' drink away as he is about to drink from it, "That punch is probably blood! And that glitter rain is probably ground up bones, or babies, or something! Bill's using Mabel's own fantasies as some sick trap. We need to grab Mabel and get the heck out of here!"

"Oh, Mabel? She's at the top of the tallest tower guarded by those big buff waffle guards. There's no way to get past them!" Craz added.

Soos stares at them, "Someone hand me some syrup." He flings on a guard from behind and starts to eat him.

"Aaah! It's happening! The moment we've trained for!"

"Oh, don't worry, man! I've got ya-" But was punched out by Wendy.

"It's now or never, guys!"

"Let's go!" The Doctor stated hurriedly.

* * *

Dipper and the Doctor kick while Soos and Wendy punch open the doors.

"This is a rescue! Everyone hit the deck!"

Soos picks up one of the animals and throws it, then follows Dipper and Wendy up the stairs, "Hang in there, Mabel!"

They all burst through the doors to the bedroom.

"There she is! Soos! Grab her! Wendy, barricade the door!" Wendy does so as the Doctor heaves a funiture over it.

Soos picks up Mabel, who is sleeping, "Up you go, little lady."

Mabel wakes up, "Soos? Wendy? Dipper? Doctor?"

The swords are being poked through the door, "The waffles are coming back! We gotta hurry!"

"Uh, guys?"

"Don't worry, Mabel, we'll get you out of this!"

"But, Dipper!" Mabel claps twice and lifts everything in front of the door off the ground. She puts everything down in order and seats Doctor, Dipper, Soos and Wendy on some chairs - the guards come in and point their spears at them; she claps and they stop. She seats herself on a big chair with the table.

"Mabel! What are you doing? We're trying to save you from this prison!"

"This isn't a prison! I made this world!... Well, I sort of woke up here. It's complicated."

"What are you saying?"

Mabel reveals a plaque that says "MAYOR MABEL", "I'm saying this is my home now. And I don't want to be saved! Thanks to my new friend here!"

She motions behind.

"Hello, Doctor!" The Master flashed an evil grin.

"You!" Dipper and Doctor shouted.

* * *

Dipper shouted at him, "What did you do to her!?"

The Master laughed, "Oh, I didn't do anything that much, as a fellow Timelord like the Doctor here, I arrived here with my own TARDIS to help her!" He said with false innocence.

"He's telling the truth" The Doctor stated gravely.

Mabel added, "Look, after you said you wouldn't come back home with me at the end of the summer for your "apprenticeship," I wanted to hide in my sweater forever. But then I woke up in a place that gives me exactly what I wanted: **an endless summer where I never have to grow up**! Here the sun shines all day, the party never ends, and now that you guys are here, it's finally perfect!"

"Listen, Mabel, we're not here to party. All of this is crazy!"

"Ugghh. I figured you might say something like that, Dipper. That's why I prepared a backup Dipper with a more supportive attitude."

Suddenly a copy of Dipper rides in on a skateboard, "Wohoho! Yeah! Wiggity-wiggity-what's up, dude-bros? I'm _Dippy Fresh!_ I like skateboarding, supporting my sister, and punctuating every sentence with a high five! Hup!"

Dipper wasn't amused.

"Oh! Don't mind if I-"

Dipper clears his throat.

"I'm sorry, I can't leave him hanging! Yus!" He high fives Dippy Fresh.

"You're dead to me, Soos."

"Trust me, you guys are gonna love it here. This world always knows what you want. Sometimes even before you do! Apparently I wanted a chinchilla! Right again, Mabeland!"

"Mabel, listen to yourself. This is crazy! I'm sorry about our fight, and I'm sorry things aren't great right now but that doesn't mean you can just stay in here forever!"

Dipper Fresh added, "Hey, take a chill pill! Those grow on trees here!"

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, DIPPY FRESH!"

Soos held on Dipper, "Dude, calm down; Dippy Fresh didn't do anything to you, dawg!'

Dipper growls at Dippy Fresh.

"I know it sounds too good to be true, but just give this place a chance! Mabeland knows just what you want and always provides!" The Doctor, Dipper, Soos and Wendy's clothes go back to normal. Brusies healed. A flying hamburger goes up to Soos.

"Pudding center. Nice!"

Wendy stated, "Uh, actually, Mabel, I'm with Dipper on this. Gravity Falls is in trouble and I really think-"

Suddenly a copy of Thompson honks horn and drives up with Wendy's friends' copies in a monster truck.

Thompson, Tambry, Lee and Nate all shout, "Wendy!"

"Wha- guys? You're safe!"

The Doctor motioned to her, "I wouldn't fall for it if I were-"

"We've got a monster truck full of fireworks, fake IDs, and pranking supplies!"

"Wanna drive this truck to the high school and glue this plunger to the principal's head?"

Wendy's eyes went sparkling, "Yes. Yes I do. Sorry, guys, I've always wanted to do that!" she turns to Dipper, the Doctor, and Soos, "I'll be back in just a few minutes!"

They all drive away happily.

"Wendy!?"

Soos comforts him, "Don't worry, dude. There's nothing in this world that could break me from our mission."

A muscular man with a wrestling mask and a champion belt that says "PAPI" enters.

"Soos, mijo! I have returned."

"Holy- whoa, whoa. Dad?!"

"You don't remember what I look like, so I have the body of a pro wrestler and a face you once saw on a hot sauce bottle. I was never there for you, but in this world, I can be!"

Soos shouted happily, "You're perfect!"

"It's a trap! Don't go with him, Soos! No matter what he offers you!" Dipper warned Soos. The Doctor agrees, "It's just a trick!"

"Want to play catch?"

Soos sets off, "I'm sorry, dude. Even if it is all a dream, I've gotta play just one game. Hahaha! Come on, Dad!"

Dipper angrily tells Mabel, "Okay, this has gone too far! You can't honestly think these fantasies are good for anyone!"

The Master chuckled, "You can't argue with the results, boy: people are happy here! Does it really matter if it's real or not? For once, stop listening to your head and listen to your heart! Your sister has something for everyone! Even you two! In fact, Doctor how lonely for you it must been traveling throughout the universe-"

The Doctor interuppts, "Ok-AY! Then! And we thank you for your "service"!" He ushers Dipper, "Let's go-"

"Agreed. Not looking. Not looking."

* * *

Dipper is standing in front of a river, the Doctor is with him.

 _"Bum ba bum bo, I'm a stuffed animal tree..."_

 _"He's a stuffed animal tee-hee-hee!"_

Dipper angrily throws a stone across the river; it skips while a child's giggling is heard, "Ugh, even my stone skips are perfect! Who am I kidding, Doc? Maybe Mabel's right. It's a horror show out there. At least the air in here is breathable."

The Doctor replies, "Don't give up hope, there always something around here-"

"Grandfather?"

The Doctor looked up. "Dipper stay behind me-"

"Doctor! No! It's a trick-wait, did she say grandfather?!"

"I'm way older than I look... Susan?"

"Grandfather, you came back!"

The Doctor whispered to Dipper, "Stay close to me, I'll been through this before-personal regrets you might say... Susan, how are you here?"

"It's me Grandfather... don't you remember?"

Dipper sees that there were two plus three children behind her...

"That's... upmost interesting..." The Doctor muttered. Suddenly, Dipper sees that there were multiple people at once.

A couple talking to each other, they were right next to Susan. Five women, and two men were behind them, one of each had a sailor outfit.

There was a man, who wore Scottish outfit. Two girls were behind him.

A smiling yellow-blondish woman. There was a woman near her.

There robotic machine that resembles as a dog. A woman is next to it, around her seemed to be a group of teens and kids. A tall woman is next to her, who seemed to have a similar robotic machine. Another woman is next to her who is wearing some-sort Amazon native clothing.

A group of four men were in their military uniforms.

Three women were there, two guys also there: one young man and a pecuilar girl had the Doctor's eyes to tear up. He looked away when there was a certain humaniod robot there.

A fuzzy red-haired girl, a rugged man with a beard, and a penguin was there.

There was a girl with a baseball bat.

A certain girl was there; who is wearing a stethoscope, three women where there, a purple alien was there, and a woman who seemed to be geared for war had the Doctor's expression darken.

A group of people were there, wearing outfits if they were from a futuristic war.

A pretty blonde girl was the most striking. A man was wearing a naval blue jacket.

A woman that seemed to be ready to be wed. A couple is next to her, they were dark-skinned. There was another woman who seemed to be from early 19th century. There was also a woman who is seemed to wear a maid outfit. A man with a Victorian era outfit was there. Two women were there, one was seemed to be frail-another had black long hair. An old man was there. Alongside was a young teen girl. Another was a hispanic teen...

A pecuilar couple had the husband wearing a Roman guard outfit, the wife's hair is redish-ginger. A man was there, holding a baby. A alien tree-like child, with a dark-skinned girl behind it.

A black-haired girl was there who is with another woman who seemed to be her friend, but her eyes seemed old. A pump man was there, with a dark-skinned girl with a black fuzzy hair.

An old man was there, along with two dark-skinned girl and man.

And so many more...

There was a woman there with what-seemed to be her daughter. An Aztec woman. Marilyn Monroe was there. An Eygptian princess, and 16th century princess. Three women were there: one of which has a blonde fuzzy hair.

The Doctor looked away, "Oh my friends... my companions. _Don't ask me what your leaving was for... Empty space and empty rooms._.. my companions won't be there anymore..."

Dipper suddenly stammered, "Wait... this isn't real!"

The Doctor sighed heavily, "... I know." He sadly then points his sonic at them.

They all turn into a bunch of centipedes and the sky darkens.

Dipper screams as they all dissolved.

"You shouldn't have done that, Doocccttttoorr! We're watching you!"

Everything now each have one giant eye, "THERE ARE EYES _EVERYWHERE_."

The sky brightens again. Sev'ral Timez rides by on a long bike.

Sev'ral Timez and each band member one after another say to Dipper, "Hey, Dipper."

Everything returned to its positivity.

Dipper backs away, panting, "Oh my gosh. This is crazy. Um- I'm losing my mind!"

The Doctor nodded, "We have to get out of here. We have to go back. To the real. World!" Suddenly the word echoed all over.

The people on the streets turn to them and gasp.

Mabel suddenly gasp. The Master appears next to her, he smiles, "Seize them!"

The huge pancake guards tackle the Doctor, and Dipper.

Dipper shouts out, "Hey!"

The Doctor stated loudly, "What it something I said?"

"Under Article Smiley Face of Exhibit Squeaky Duck, you are hereby accused of breaking our one rule: mentioning reality!"

The crowd mutters.

"Oh please, so much for your consideration that words that seemed to upset you! So sensitive eh?"

They pull them up, "You guys are quacks!" The Doctor shouted.

"Prepare to be banished from this land FOREVER!"

A portal to the real world opens. Where Bill's grip is still on the town.

"MABEL! You're smarter than this! Bill has you hypnotized or something! Are you really gonna let them banish us?!"

Mabel shouted, "No! Of course not; that's my brother, guys! There's gotta be another way!"

The Master held his hand, "Very well. If they wish to stay, the DOCTOR must plead his case in the ultimate trial. Of Fantasy vs. Reality!"

Soos takes a bite out of the guard.

"Hey! Seriously?"

Soos points to a stuffed rhino, "It was him."

* * *

Soos and Wendy are sitting in the crowd. Duck-tective lands near Soos and grabs his shirt. Dipper and Mabel are sitting at a table near the front.

"Seriously, Mabel? You're letting them take this argument to court?"

"Hey, I didn't make the rules in Mabeland!"

"Yes, you did! There's a tapestry of you making the rules! Thanks to you the Doctor is arrested!"

"All rise! For the honorable Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein!"

The cat udge merges from his hole in the bottom of the catscratcher and climbs to the top and bangs his squeaky mallet, "Order! Order! This trial begins right meow! Ooh! Hahaw! Oh!"

A police giraffe clears his throat, "Judge?"

J" Sorry, sorry. We are here to try the Doctor-"

The Doctor stated, "Forget the long titles-go on with it!"

"Very well then, in the case of fantasy vs. reality. If he wins, Mabel will return with them to the real world! But if he loses, he and Dipper will be banished forever! And replaced with town darling, Dippy Fresh! Dippy, come on out!"

"Flip-a-dip-dip!"

Dipper pounds on the table, "I hate him. So. much!"

The Doctor motioned to him, "This wouldn't make our case work better!"

"The final decision will be made by a jury of your peers."

Mabel claps and six copies of herself appear in the jury stand.

"Hi, there! I love your headband!"

"Shut your mouth, I love your headband!"

"We're all wearing the same headband!"

"HEADBANDS!"

"Look, Mabel, this whole thing is ridiculous. But if winning this trial is what it takes to get you to come home with us, then so be it!" Dipper annouced.

"I'm sorry, Dipper, but I can only speak through my legal team now."

Xyler and Craz enter, wearing suits with the sleeves cut off. The Master is also there, amused by the childness that came out of it.

"We have a doctorate degree in hunkiness!"

"Also criminal and international law."

"Let's hear openin' statements."

"Not Guilty!" The Doctor proclaimed. He whispered to Dipper, "Start walking to the door-"

Suddenly, two pancake guards are right beside them. "HEY! We didn't start to walk yet!"

"Ahem! Your honor, townsfolk, lovely ladies of the jury." Craz began.

"Oh, he's talking about us!"

"We're not that lovely!"

"My case is simple: this very unrighteous dude thinks that reality is better than fantasy. But reality is bogus, lame and whack!"

Dipper spoke up, "Objection your honor, that's conjecture."

"Meowverruled."

"I'd like to show you this "reality" that they love so much, and show you how it has wronged my client, and Dipper, their entire lives!" He takes a book titled "Mabel Memories" from a case Craz is holding, "Exhibit A."

The crowd mutters.

"Mabel's scrapbook. Second grade. October tenth: Eggbert Elementary in autumn!"

Dipper whispered to the Doctor, "Photo day!"

Dipper and Mabel, in second grade, are sitting in a chair with some other kids getting their picture taken.

 _"Darn allergies!"_

 _"Boom! A million slap bracelets! I'm gonna have the best photo ever! And how d'you like my new pigtaaailllls?"_

 _"Have fun, brat!"_ A kid puts gum in her hair.

Other kids laugh.

 _"Ah! Gum! You ruined my hair! Dipper, what do I do?"_

 _"Um, well, I, um. I don't-"_

Younger Mabel runs away crying.

 _"Mabel!"_

"You see Doctor, Mabel's fantasy was having a great school photo, but reality had other plans!"

Dipper stated, "Look, that was one bad day!"

"One of many. Exhibit B: February fourteenth, fourth grade. Valentine's Day!"

Dipper puts his hands to his face, "Oh, come on, man, you can't!"

Dipper and Mabel are fourth grade in their classroom. Mabel has a bag full of Valentine's cards.

 _"How many valentines did you get, Dipper?"_

In the flashback, Dipper shakes his bag, but nothing comes out.

 _"Oh, hey, haha! Dipper didn't get any! Oh, man, I thought I was the class loser! Hey, everyone, Dipstick didn't get any!"_

 _Kids are laughing and chanting, "Dipstick! Dipstick! Dipstick!"_

Dipper runs out, crying, then trips over a wastebasket.

 _"I can't believe that kid's your brother."_

The Doctor spoke up, "I believe time was in the past!"

"Is your life any better now, Dip?"

Mabel's Scrapbook flashes to Dipper sitting on the log by himself during their exploration in the blunker, "Heartbreak."

Dipper is lying against the tree, "Disaster."

Flashes to Mabel yelling at Dipper about-, "Broken promises. That's reality for you, Doc-cause these kids..."

"...Went out there, it's nothing but heartbreak. But in here, who wants pug sundaes?!"

Jury Mabels lick the sundaes in unison.

"Hand me a microphone, Xyler."

Xyler gives him a microphone.

"Totally righteous, bro!"

"Are we brothers?"

"I don't know!"

The cat judge stated, "Well, I think we're ready for a verdict!"

Craz drops the mircophone.

Suddenly, the Doctor caught with his foot and rolled it up to his chest, "Took centuries to pratice-but it finally paid off! And hold on your yarn-we didn't made our cases yet!"

"Do you even have a case?"

The Doctor smiled, he takes the mircophone to let everyone to hear, "Dipper-like we planned-tell the now good sides to reality."

Dipper looks at Mabel, who is rocking in her chair and singing to herself, then goes up to the judge, "Yes, I do, your honor. I call as a witness: Mabel Pines!"

The crowd gasps.

Mabel stammers, "Uh, objection?"

"I'll allow it. Us cats are famously curious. Meow meow!"

The Doctor winks, "Played on that one!"

Mabel walks up and sits in the chair while the crowd mutters.

Dipper stated, "Mabel, listen. I might not have all the answers. I'm not stylish-" He gestures to Xyler and Craz, "and I'm not cool-" he gestures to Dippy Fresh, who is crowdsurfing, "and I can't make pugs appear out of thin air!" He snaps his fingers.

"Booo!"

"What, come on!"

"GUILTY!"

Dipper continued, encourged by the Doctor's thumbs-up, "But I know one thing well, and that's you. And I know that although you might act like it, you don't wanna be in this fantasy world."

"Uh, pffsh, yeah right."

"You're scared. Of growing up. And who could blame you; I'm scared, too."

"LALALALALALA I'M NOT LISTENING! GUARDS! The FINGERS!" The guards stick foam fingers in her ears.

"Look, real life stinks sometimes, okay, I'm not gonna lie. But there's a better way to get through it than denial, and that's with help from people who care about you. It's how we've gotten through our whole lives. Just look."

The projection is shown to everyone.

The Doctor grinned. All the years of going through hardships on his own already taught him something. He leaned on his table.

"Exhibit A!" He said through the mircophone.

 _"Mabel! I figured out a way to fix your photo!"_

 _"What? You have a wig?"_

 _"No! But, I have a razor!" He shaves a line down his head._

 _"Haha! You're crazy!" He takes the razor and shaves the part of her hair with gum in it._

 _Dipper and Mabel laugh and pose for picture, "Haaa!"_

Mabel slowly takes the foam fingers away from her ears. The Master smirked.

The Doctor continues, "Exhibit B"

"We've always been there for each other." Dipper explains.

Flashes the scrapbook to Mabel sliding valentines marking, "For My Favorite Brother", Dipper giving Mabel a Band-Aid in Summerween, then to them fist-bumping during the aftermath of the sock oprea, then to Mabel lowering them down from the cliff with her grappling hook from Gideon's robot.

"Mabel, I thought you were living a fantasy, but look at me! I actually thought I was gonna stay here and be Ford's apprentice! Spend my entire teens cooped up in a basement with a labcoat? How ridiculous is that? I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, but whatever it is, you don't have to fear because we'll do it together. I'm not taking Ford's apprenticeship. We've traveled to Heck and back to get you and we're goin' back together."

He held his hand to Mabel, "Leave this fantasy world. Let's beat Bill and grow up together!"

Crowd mutters.

"ORDER! ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT! DANG IT why is this hammer squeaky-"

Suddenly everyone is interuppted by the Doctor dropping the mircophone, "Could have Bill all over it-Mabel, throughout time, I have learned that a longer life of fun isn't the best... you get tired, tired to be dragging on and on..." He finishes.

Mabel then turns to Dipper, "You mean it? You're really coming home with me?"

"Yes. Definitely. Absolutely. Awkward sibling hug?"

Crowd shrieks.

"Just don't do it!"

"DON'T DO IT!"

"You do this and it's all over!"

The Doctor stated, "YES DO THE HUG!" He raises his hands indefinitely.

"Sincere sibling hug." She hugs Dipper.

"DON'T DO THE PATS!"

Dipper and Mabel pat each other, "Pat pat."

A ripple comes from their spot, blowing Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein's wig away and one of the benches falls over. All of the jurors disappear.

Mabel rubs her eyes, "Aw, man, I never noticed how bright this place is, ugh! Have I actually been listening to the same song for an entire week?"

"Around that-maybe-"

Suddenly, they heard clapping.

"Well done kids! You proved the Doctor's innocence that reality is better than fiction! NOW ENJOY THE PRICE!" He chuckled darkly, as he goes out the door.

The Doctor quickly sees the Judge in a distressed manner. "Looks like the Brickyard wannabe isn't feeling well today..."

"Whoa, time to calm you down." Mabel claps twice, "Uh, why isn't this working?"

"Because your reign over this land is OVER!" He splits open and becomes a nightmare-ish pile of yarn.

Dipper and Mabel are ushered out quickly by the Doctor, "RUN!"

The crowd turns gray and their eyes glow red.

Xyler and Craz hug each other and yell.

"We gotta get out of here!"

"Soos! Wendy! Paradise is canceled!"

Soos and Wendy went with them as they run away as the whole world turns gray.

"Everyone get on!"

They get on Waddles, who is the size of an elephant.

Mabel slaps him and he wakes up, "Take us to freedom, Giant Waddles! Yah!"

Waddles runs away.

"Alright, guys, are you ready for this?!" She grabs a giant knitting needle.

"Sorry, Mabeland. It's time to burst your BUBBLE!"

As Waddles jumps, she breaks the bubble with the needle; the bubble explodes into confetti; she is lying on the ground of the cliff.

"Ugh. You all good, everyone good?"

Waddles shrinks back to his normal size. Everyone is wearing the clothing they were wearing before.

Dipper, Soos and Wendy with the Doctor hug her.

"We've missed you, Mabel!" Soos cried.

"Hey, Dipper? I appreciate what you said back there, but if you want to take Ford's apprenticeship, I won't get in your way." Mabel stated.

"Psh. And miss out on your awkward teen years? You wish!" He laughed.

Mabel chuckles together, "Man, I went nuts back there. I mean come on. The real world can't be that bad, right?"

She ooks the other way and sees Gompers is still giant and the Fearamid, "Oh boy."

The Doctor explains, "Bill broke the rift, but the battle isn't over just yet-he's still trapped from the real world. "

* * *

"Where is everyone?"

"The town's deserted."

"Did Bill already win?"

"Come on, guys. Let's see if we can still go hide out in the Shack."

The Doctor sonics the direction, "OVER HERE!"

"Yes! It's in shambles! Just like we left it."

"Oh, man, this is the first time I've ever felt happy going to work."

"Hello, house. Hello, porch. Hello, wads of gum I left stuck to the couch."

Dipper reaches for the handle, then stops when he hear scuffling, "Wait, what was that? Shh!" He picks up a golf club.

Wendy use a crossbow.

Soos pounds his fists.

Mabel holds up the grappling hook.

The Doctor held up his sonic.

"Let's get 'em, dudes!"

Dipper kicks open the door.

"Yaaahh!"

Stan and many survivors scream back, "Yaaaahhhh!"

"Stan?"

"Kids?"

"Just so everyone knows, we're out of toilet paper. Did I miss something?" Multi-Bear questioned.

* * *

18-5-1-12-9-20-25 9-19 15-6-20-5-14 4-9-19-1-16-16-15-9-14-20-9-14-7.

10-5-1-14-16-1-21-12 19-1-18-20-18-5 16-15-19-20-21-12-1-20-5-4 20-8-1-20 5-22-5-18-25 5-24-9-19-20-9-14-7 20-8-9-14-7 9-19 2-15-18-14 23-9-20-8-15-21-20 18-5-1-19-15-14, 16-18-15-12-15-14-7-19 9-20-19-5-12-6 15-21-20 15-6 23-5-1-11-14-5-19-19, 1-14-4 4-9-5-19 2-25 3-8-1-14-3-5. 20-15-20-1-12-12-25 18-9-7-8-20-5-15-21-19, 2-18-15.

23-8-5-14 15-14-5 7-5-20-19 20-18-1-16-16-5-4 9-14-19-9-4-5 20-8-5 16-1-19-20 4-18-5-1-13-19 3-1-14 20-21-18-14 20-15 14-9-7-8-20-13-1-18-5-19 6-1-19-20.


	40. Chapter 40

_**Take Back the Time**_

The Doctor, Dipper and Mabel Pines, Soos Ramirez and Wendy Corduroy run into the Mystery Shack shouting, "Yaaahh!"

Everyone yelled back, "YAAAAAAAAHH!"

"Wait."

Both Dipper and Mabel cry out, "Grunkle Stan!" and run to him.

"Kids! I can't believe it! I thought I lost you two!"

Soos hugs Stan, "Mr. Pines! It's really you! I've been hugging strangers to practice for this moment!"

Wendy slams into Stan for a hug, "We missed you, you old codger!"

The Doctor chuckled and quickly closed the door, "All of us did!"

Stan chuckles, "I've missed you knuckleheads, too. It's good to have you back!"

"So...what's everyone doing here? " he gasp as some Lilliputtians run past him.

"Yeah there's like monsters and gnomes, and is Pacifica wearing a potato sack?"

"Hey! Even in a sack I still look better than you!"

"It's...it's a long story." Everyone nodded. Even they had certain confrontations against each other; it's water under the bridge as they all have a common enemy: Bill Cipher.

Wax Larry King shouted, "Hey, is anyone gonna feed me? Larry King's disembodied wax head wants num-nums!"

"We're trying to ration our food, remember?" he chews on her hair, "Uhhh...it's happening again."

Multi-bear closes the vents.

Pituitaur looks out the window, "Hey, everyone! Eye-bat!"

Everyone gasps.

"Evasive maneuvers!"

"Shhh, keep it down."

The refugees scatter to hide.

"Hit the lights!"

The Doctor sonics the flame to vanish.

Outside, an eye-bat turns a scampering raccoon into stone and flies off with it.

* * *

Stan lights a new match and throws it into a can, illuminating the shack, revealing the people sitting around the room, "Welcome to what's left of normal around here. Home base!"

There various people hiding in the Mystery Shack.

Toby Determined shouted, "Ow!" as a dart was pulled out of him.

"We have... Several injuries! Oh, ow..." Sev'ral Timez all sang.

"Ow, my liver, girl!"

"Ah! Rumble McSkirmish?"

"Do not be afraid. Weirdmageddon has taught me, there are some battles I cannot win. I am now Humble McSkirmish." A digital "-50 despair" pops up next to Rumble.

Mabel asks Stan, "Grunkle Stan, how'd this all happen?"

"So I was hammering signs out back when the sky started vomiting nightmares. I listen to a lot of AM radio so I knew what this meant: the end of the world. What I didn't expect was what happened next. Turns out whatever you and my brother did to the shack with your unicorn voodoo made the crazy place invincible to weirdness."

"Of course, the unicorn spell. That's why this is the only place Bill's magic can't touch!" Dipper realized.

Stan gestured to Old Man McGucket, "That's when good o'l McGucket over here shows up leading a bunch of injured stragglers through the forest. They needed a place to stay and since the mayor got captured, I elected myself de facto chief. The plan's to stay in here and eat Brown Meat until we run out, then I vote we eat the gnomes."

Jeff shouted, "Hey! I'm short, not deaf!"

"Shh! Shh! Stress will make you chewy."

Dipper reasons, "Grunkle Stan, we can't all just hide inside the Shack. There's a town in need of saving. Me and Ford tried to do it, but he got captured by Bill!"

Stan opens can of The Brown Meat, "Serves him, right. My brother's had some stupid plans, but going up against an all-powerful space demon was his worst one yet. Trust me, we have everything we need right here. It's not the Ritz but at least the monsters inside know how to massage. You know Shiatzu?"

"Yes, I've taken some classes."

"So you're really just gonna let Bill win?"

"Look, kiddo. We got a good deal here. Besides, I'm sure wherever the rest of the townsfolk are, they're fine." He slams his hand down, accidentally hitting the remote and turning on the TV.

 _"This is Shandra Jimenez reporting live from the inside of Bill's castle. Here for the first time are images of what's happened to the captured townsfolk. Viewers are advised to look away if they don't want to see their friends turned into a twisted throne of human agony."_

Pacifica cried out, "Mom and Dad?"

Wendy shouted, "My family!"

Sheriff Blubs cries, "Deputy Durland!"

 _"Is there no one who will save the people of this town? I'm Shandra Jimenez and I'm being turned into stone by a flying eyeball!"_

Everyone gasps.

"Oh, no. My parents are bad but even they don't deserve to be turned to stone!'

Sheriff Blubs drops down on his knees, "Curse you, Bill! Why must you take everything we love?!"

Mabel suddenly climbs on top of the Multi-Bear, "Guys, don't you see? Our friends need us, but we can only save them if we fight back." She pulls Dipper up after her.

Dipper added, "Mabel is right. Bill wants us to run and hide. He wants us to think he's invincible. But Ford told me before he was captured that he knows Bill's secret weakness!"

The refugees perk up and start muttering.

"Weakness?" The Doctor nodded.

"Now, if we band together, if we combine all of our strength, our smarts, our...whatever Toby has..."

"Various rashes!"

"...then we just might be able to rescue Ford, learn Bill's weakness, and save Gravity Falls!"

Everyone cheered, encourged by their one last hope for bravery. "Demons RUN WHEN GOOD MEN GO TO WAR!" The Doctor shouted additionally.

Stan then interrupts, "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Have you all forgotten who's in charge here? Besides, we're only safe inside! It's not like we can take the Mystery Shack to Bill!"

The Doctor motioned to McGucket, "I believe he has a plan!"

"Wha-Whoa! Holy hootenany! Flapjack and fiddlebanjos! Sorry, Sorry. Got a little excited! What I meant to say is I think I figured out a way to fight Bill and rescue Ford. But we're all gonna have to work together- Now. You just..."

Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Wendy and McGucket with the Doctor discuss their improvised plan.

"Don't worry, Ford! We're coming for you!"

* * *

 _At the Fearamid..._

"Let me go, you insane three-sided-! Wha-What is this place?" Ford stated as he pulls at a chain on his leg.

Bill rises out of the floor, playing a piano and singing, " _We'll meet again. Don't know where, don't know when. **Oh, I know we'll meet again some sunny day** ~!"_

"Wh-where am I?!"

 _"You're in the penthouse suite, kid! The tip of the pyramid. Have a drink!"_ He snaps his fingers and a martini glass appears in Ford's hand, _"Make yourself comfortable-You know that couch is made from living human skin?_

The couch groans as eyes, a nose, and a mouth appear. Ford jumps up.

"Aaah! Quit the games, Cipher! If I'm still alive you must want something from me!"

 _"Ah, sharp as ever, Fordsy. As you may have noticed...I've recently had **a multi-dimensional makeover!** I control space, matter, and now that that dumb baby's out of the way, time itself! But I wasn't always this way..."_

"Ooph!" Ford hits the ground after he was floated by Bill.

 _"You think those chains are tight?! Imagine living in the second dimension, **flat minds** in a **flat world** with **flat dreams**..."_

 _"I liberated my dimension, Stanford, and I'm here to liberate yours. There's just one hitch. As it turns out, my weirdness can't escape the magical confines of this town. **There's something keeping me in!"**_

"Incredible! Gravity Falls natural law of weirdness magnetism, just like the Doctor said! I studied this years ago!"

 _"And did you find a way to undo it?"_

"Of course. There's a simple equation that could collapse the barrier. But I'd never tell you!" Ford shouted at him.

 _"Listen, Ford, if you just tell me that equation, finally your dimension will be free. **Anything will be possible**. I'll remake a fun world- a better world! A party that never ends with a host that never dies! No more restrictions! No more laws! **You'd be one of us. All-powerful.** Greater than anything you've imagined! And all I need is your help!" _

Ford angrily refused, "You're insane if you think I'll help you!"

 _"Ha ha ha! I'm insane either way, brainiac. But have it your way. I'll just fish around and get that equation directly out of your mind!"_

"Not so fast! You know the rules, Bill. The Doctor told me of your limits, you may be able to haunt my dreams but you can't enter my mind unless I shake your hand and let you in!" Ford explained.

Bill sighs, then chains Ford's legs and neck, _"You're making this so much harder than it needs to be. Even **the Doctor** has a weakness, tough guy! He'll be next after I am done with YOU! I'll make you talk! It's only a matter of time!"_

Ford screams in horror.

* * *

McGucket lays out some blueprints, "Alright. I've made some thingamadiculous robomajigs in my day, but this is the first one that won't be used for evil!"

The Doctor replied, "You got that right!"

"Whoa! These blueprints are incredible, McGucket."

"This is your most amazing invention yet."

Soos asks, "Question, does it have any gun-swords? I watch a lot of anime and, uh, trust me, you're gonna want some gun-swords!"

"What's an "anime"?"

Soos stated, "We have much to discuss!"

Stan shouted, "Discuss nothing! These scribbles are a bunch of cockamamie balderdash! Excuse my French."

 _"I don't believe that was French."_

"And where would you even find a bunch of idiots who would be crazy enough to build it!?"

"Grunkle Stan, you're looking at those idiots."

The Doctor also points at the TARDIS, "-With a box!"

Everyone cheers.

"Idiots!"

The Doctor happily added, "Madmen!"

* * *

Soon enough with McGucket and the Doctor's directions, the refugees building the robot: McGucket points out the parts needed, then people raid the junkyard; people taking stuff from inside the shack.

"Whoa-what! What are you-? H-hey now! Hey hey! Don't touch that! Hey! Aah!"

They digged a dinosaur out from the Abandoned mines; Soos showing McGucket anime while the latter takes notes; all the parts being put together and to a "Take Back the Falls" flag. Soon everyone are outside of the Shack wearing Mabel's sweaters.

"Thanks for these apocalypse sweaters, Mabel. The end of the world has never been so comfortable."

Some of the refugees nod and hum in agreement.

Pacifica shivers; Mabel glares at her, "Uh! Fine, I'll wear it." Mabel passes it to the Doctor who in turn gave it to Pacifica. She puts on the llama sweater, "But I'm not gonna like it."

"Admit it. This is the best day of the end of the world. I think we actually have a chance to beat Bill and win back our future!"

"Yeah. Getting to actually live to see our 13th birthday party is the only birthday present I want right now."

"Hey, if we're lucky enough to get there, I guarantee this whole town is gonna throw you the best birthday party you've ever seen."

"Thanks, Soos. Hey, has anyone seen Grunkle Stan?" The Doctor looked around.

Stan grumbles, "This whole plan is bonkers. But of course no one asked the chief what he thinks. After all I've done for everyone!"

"Shmebulock!"

"Yeah, exactly, it's a total load of Shmebulock."

"Is something wrong, Grunkle Stan? You're acting grunklier than usual." Mabel questioned.

"It's this darn plan to save my brother. If you didn't notice, I already saved him once from that portal, and he never thanked me! He causes the end of the world, and somehow it's still always "Stan's the screw-up. Ford's the hero"!"

"Well maybe people think he's a hero because he didn't want to hide in the Mystery Shack!" Dipper replied.

"Well maybe if he hid in the Mystery Shack, he wouldn't have been captured!"

"Guys! Guys! Trust me, tomorrow's gonna be great! I believe in us."

"Help! Leader Mabel! I keep accidentally flexing through my sweater. Augh! It happened again!"

"Those weird cow-monsters are delightful! Coming!"

The Doctor looked at Stan, "This is the time, Stanley-it's time where we stand up to those who thinks they can regin over all... and to save your brother."

Stan sighs, "FINE! Only for this time... still can't believe Fordsy made a deal with a demon though..."

* * *

Gompers walks across a barren wasteland and bleats.

"Alright, fellas. Let's hope this turns out better than my other inventions." McGucket announced.

"Everybody ready? Doctor, now!"

The police box became the core of their robot, "SYSTEMS TO GO!" The Doctor yelled, "PRESSING THE BIG-SHINY-RED! BUTTON!" He pressed it.

The power flowed throughout the Mystery Shack.

Dipper pulls a lever, causing wheels to turn. Machinery begins running and the invention starts moving. As the invention stands up, the refugees are tossed side-to-side inside the Shack.

It changed into a huge robot itself.

The robot approaches the Fearamid.

* * *

"No! _No_! _**Noooo**_!"

Bill zaps him with volts and volts of many bolts of electricity.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed.

 _"Ready to talk now?"_

Ford gasps for breath, "I won't. _I won't let you into my mind!"_

 _"What do you think, pals? Another 500 volts-Hey, do you hear that?"_

The robot's t-rex head crashes through the Fearamid and roars.

 _"What?! I just fixed that door!"_

The Mystery Shack robot comes into full view.

"It's the Shacktron, dude!" Soos holds the Take Back the Falls flag, topped with Wax Larry King's head. The Doctor walks up with him.

 _"They made the house into a robot. Fascinating!"_

 _"So the mortals are trying to fight back, huh? **Adorable**! Henchmaniacs, you know what to do! Take them out!"_

Bill's minions grow in size and jump out of the Fearamid to stand in front of the Mystery Shack. Meanwhile, the Doctor's arch-rivial leans on his own TARDIS, "Amusing..."

"This was a bad idea." Stan stated.

The Doctor spoke through the speakers. "HELLO! EVERYONE! GUESS WHO! For I. AM. TALKING!"

All of the Henchmanics growled as the Doctor is regarded with infamy amongst them.

"YOU HAVE THREE MINUTES AND FORTY TWO SECONDS TO GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM, SEAL THE TIME CRACK, AND RELEASE YOUR PRISONERS BACK TO US! IF NOT-"

He grinned back at the others, "GIVING HELL IS WHAT WE ALL DO!"

Soos points at the Paci-fire, "Heh. Hey, you're a little cutie."

 **"I have butchered millions on countless moons."**

"FEAR ME! I MAULED SO MANY! DEMONS WILL **RUN** AS THE GOOD PEOPLE-GO. TO. WAR!"

Pyronica shouted, "Attack!"

The demons run at the Shacktron.

"All right, dudes!" Soos runs into the Shack, the Doctor following along.

"Everyone! Like we planned! Three, two, one. Go!"

Candy and Grenda operate both arms, punching away Paci-Fire and Kryptos.

Mabel uses Waddles' mouth to pull a lever, which causes the Shacktron to shoot several demons away.

"Ha ha ha. Good pig!"

Waddles squeals with excitement.

Eye Bats attack the Shacktron.

McGucket shouted, "Get em, Gobblewonker!" He opreates a Gobblewonker head on top of the Shacktron, grabbing an eye bat in its mouth.

Rumble kills two eye bats with fireballs, "Hya! Hya!"

"Oh, no, you don't!" Wendy jumps onto an eye bat and pulls its wings, turning 8 Ball's head to stone. Wendy jumps off the eye bat back into the shack.

Multi-Bear shouted, "Everyone! Incoming!"

Stan pulls at a door labeled "EXIT", "Does this thing have an escape hatch?!"

Zanthar rams the Shack and pushes it back. Everyone inside screams.

"Everybody! Maximum power!"

Sev'ral Times runs on a treadmill.

The Doctor shouted, And Dipper...now!" He turns a wheel and the Shacktron grabs Zanthar and throws it.

Everyone hooted with victory.

The Doctor looks out. Teeth runs away on fire, screaming.

Bill rubbed his eye, _"Guys, seriously? You had, like, one job to do here!"_

"Bravo, Dipper and Mabel!"

" _Well, would you look at that. Those kids really care about you. And you care about them._ **Don't you?"**

"What are you...Oh. Oh no!"

If Bill had a mouth, he would grin. _"Perhaps torturing those kids'll make you talk!"_

"No. No! Not the kids! You ca-"

Bill turns Ford back to gold, " _Let's get this over with."_

He crawls outside, grows a giant fist, fixes his tie, and slams it down on the Shacktron.

He raises his fist only to find the Shack perfectly fine, "What the? No! No! No! No! No!" He grows ten arms and pounds at the Shack.

The Doctor signals to Mabel and Grenda, "NOW!"

Grenda punches, causing the T-rex head to lunge at Bill. It bites Bill's eye and pulls back, ripping his eye out.

 _ **"Aah! My eye! Do you have any idea how long it takes to regenerate that?!"**_

"We've got him distracted. Now's our chance!"

"Rescue team, move out!"

Mabel puts her grappling hook in her sweater. Soos puts the memory erasing gun in his backpack. Dipper tests the height-altering crystal flashlight on a Mystery Shack snowglobe. The Doctor tucks a Swiss Army Knife he once held as 7th to 8th Doctor that reads: I.C, Ace, he swirls his sonic.

Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, Wendy, Pacifica, the Doctor, and Sheriff Blub sare standing in the exit tubes.

"Okay everyone. We get in, rescue Ford, get out, save the world. Piece of cake." Dipper explains.

Pacifica added, "Just so we're clear. If I die, I'm suing all of you."

Stan spoke, "Hey, on second thought, maybe we could come up with a plan that doesn't involve us plummeting to our certain death-"

"Now!" Wendy presses a button and they are pulled up out of the tubes and shot out of the Gobblewonker's mouth, screaming. They fall towards the Fearamid's opening.

"Oh, man, oh, man..."

"GERONIMO!" The Doctor shouts.

Mabel went cartwheels through the air, "WOOHOO! HAHAHA!"

They open their parachutes as they approach the Fearamid. They all land and remove their parachutes. All of them gasp upon seeing Bill's throne.

"Oh, man. It looks even worse up close."

Mabel shoots her grappling hook, which lands on frozen Manly Dan and pulls herself up to the throne, "I found Great Uncle Ford!" She tosses the grappling hook down, "He's golden. But not in the good way!"

Stan shouted, "Great! Grab him and let's get out of here!"

"But how are we going to unfreeze them?"

Gideon suddenly appears in a cage, "I know!"

"Gideon! What happened to you?"

"Bill captured me. He's been forcing me to do cute dances in this cage for all eternity" He sobs, "I'm so tired of being cute!"

"How do we undo this?"

"Mayor Tyler. He's the load-bearing human. Pull him out, and the whole thing goes down!"

Dipper pulls at Tyler's arm. He rattles before turning back to normal and breaking free. This sets off a chain reaction, causing the chair to collapse. As it does, the residents are returned to normal. Deputy Durland hits Gideon's cage, knocking it down and breaking it, freeing Gideon.

"Ugh. My mouth tastes like nightmares."

The Doctor annouced, "Welcome back, everyone! Find Everybody-Quickly!"

Robbie falls down on his head, "Aah! I think I'm dark and tortured for reals now." A can of spray paint falls out of his hoodie.

Gideon rips off his costume, "No more SAILOR SUIT! "

Manly Dan and his sons hug Wendy.

"Wendy!"

"Guys!"

"Mom! Dad!"

"Durland!"

"My Blubs!"

"Don't you ever scare me like that again!"

Everyone claps and cheers as they found amongst each other.

Ford unfreezes. "Welcome back to the living Ford!"

"Kids! Doctor! Ah, you did it! I knew I could count on you two." He stated to the twins. He spots his long-time friend, "Fiddleford. I-I haven't seen you since we parted ways. You must hate me!"

McGucket replied gently, "I've tried forgettin'. Maybe I should try forgiving. Come here, old friend!" He hugs Ford. Stan taps Ford on the shoulder.

"Hey, good to see you too, bro. Now let's get outta here, huh?"

"Listen, Uncle Ford, we don't have a lot of time. Remember how you told me right before you were frozen that you knew Bill's weakness?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah, a secret way to defeat him?"

"I-I do!" He pulls on his gloves, "Now, does anyone have a pen? Pencil? Anything?" He looked at his pockets, "Drat, nothing!"

Suddenly the Doctor realizes what he meant... he grabs Robbie's paint spray and started to spray a circular symbol.

After getting questionable looks, he was done and passes it to Ford.

"Ah! Perfect!" He sprays a circular row around the Doctor's symbols, adding finishing touches.

"Uh, we've got Bill outside, but I don't know how long we can keep him occupied!" Dipper shouted, seeing the robot fighting Bill.

"Yes, yes. Good, good."

"Drawing a circle on the floor. Well, THEY lost his mind."

Ford replies back, "My mind is fine. And there is a way to beat him. With this."

Ford has drawn the Zodiac, which contained certain symbols.

"The world's most confusing game of hopscotch?" Pacifica questioned.

"No, a prophecy. Although it would be a pretty fun game of hopscotch. Many years ago I found ten symbols in a cave. The background contain alien origins."

The Doctor nodded, "Timelords."

Ford continues. "Some I recognized then, some I only recognize now. The native people of Gravity Falls prophesied that these symbols given by a higher being, it could create a force strong enough to vanquish Bill. With Bill defeated, his weirdness would be reversed and the town could be saved. This whole time I thought it was just superstition. But seeing you all here now, I finally understand that it's destiny. Dipper, the pine tree! Mabel, the shooting star!"

Dipper and Mabel step on their respective spots. The Doctor stated, " _The cap, and the sweater for inspiration_..."

"The question mark. This one's unsolvable." Soos stated. The Doctor continues, "... _The shirt when you were younger_..."

Wendy pushes Robbie onto the broken heart symbol, "That one's easy. You've been rockin' that dumb hoodie since the seventh grade!" The Doctor nodded, ".. _.The stitched..."_

"Whoa. Destiny hoodie!"

"The Tent of Telepathy sign! That must be Gideon!" Dipper said. "... _By this father being inspired, of course_..." The Doctor added.

Gideon stands on it, "Whoo! An excuse to stand next to Mabel."

"Don't turn this into a big deal."

"Oh, I won't!... I will."

* * *

Bill fights against the Shacktron. It punches him and holds him to the ground.

Bill noticies the leg outside of the shield as if a glitchy virus is found and can be used, _"What the... Hey, IDRIS! REMEMBER INFINITELY ON ACHILLES! Nice work with the HEEL!"_ He rips off the leg, _"FORE!_ " He hits the Shack with the leg and it rolls away.

The Doctor notices, "Oh... no..."

* * *

"Hold hands, everyone. This is a mystical human energy circuit!" Ford explains.

"Ice? Who's ice?"

"The symbols needn't all be literal, Dipper. It just has to be someone cool in the face of danger."

The Doctor motioned to Wendy, "... _The haunted store._.." Lee, Nate, Tambry, and Thompson shouted, "Wendy! Wendy!"

"Heheh. Shut up, you guys." She stands on the ice bag symbol.

"Much like the spectacles need to be someone scholarly."

".. _.It's time to show what you can get back_..." The Doctor added, McGucket stands on the glasses symbol, "Heeheh!"

The Doctor motioned to Pacifica, "... _the gift_..."

She stands on the llama symbol and looks at the llama sweater she's wearing, "This is freaky."

"Now hold hands, everyone!"

McGucket holds out his hand, which has flies around it, to Pacifica.

"Ew! I'm not touching that."

Out of all people, Preston encourged her, "Do it, sweetie. Do the one thing no one in our family has ever done: touch the hillbilly!"

Pacifica holds McGucket's hand and everyone in the circle glows. Thunder rumbles and smoke circles around the Fearamid.

"Great Uncle Ford! I think it's working!"

"Hoohoo! Heehahahaha!"

"Yes! This is it! The rest of you get out. It's too dangerous!"

The people not in the circle run away. "Stay Back!" The Doctor called, "Wait. _..AND the long-lost one!"_

"We just need one more person...Stanley! Stanley, get over here. You're the only one left!"

Stan grumbled, "You realize this is a bunch of hogwash, right? You really think some caveman graffiti is gonna stop that monster?"

The Doctor was confounded.

"Dang it, old man! Now's not the time!"

"Come on!"

"What are you doing? You're gonna ruin this!"

"I've never held hands this long and I am very uncomfortable!"

Stan shouts, "Whoa! Hey! I'm not the enemy here, people. Don't forget who literally created the end of the world!"

"I'm sorry, Stanley. I know. Just help me fix it. Please..." Ford begged.

"Fine. Just do one thing. Say "thank you."

"What?"

"I spent ten years with you on that thing, and thirty years trying to bring you back into this dimension and you still haven't thanked me! You want me to shake your hand? Say "thank you!"

"Fine. Thank you."

Stan held Ford's and Soos' hands, "Now, see. Between me and him, I'm not always the bad twin."

"Between "him and me".

He paused.

"Grammar, Stanley."

Stan growled and shouts at him, "I'll "grammar Stanley" you!" Lets go of Soos' hand and hits Ford, "YOU STUCK UP SELF-RIGHTEOUS SON OF A GUN! I mean come on!"

Ford lets go of Robbie's hand and hits back Stanley, "Don't jeopardize this, you idiot! Everything's on the line!"

Mabel runs up, "Guys, stop it!"

The Doctor joined in, "HOLD! HOLD!"

Dipper and Mabel pull at Stan and Ford, who are fighting and yelling unintelligibly at each other. The Doctor tried to separate the two..

"Join hands!"

Ford and Stan stop fighting as Bill approaches. The Doctor eyes widens as he see Bill looking down on them.

 _"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh no, it's Bill! Right? Isn't that what you're all thinking? Hey, Gideon, why aren't you dancing? Chop chop, huh?"_

* * *

20-8-5 8-5-1-12-5-18 19-8-1-12-12 7-9-22-5 20-8-5 3-1-16 1-14-4 20-8-5 19-23-5-1-20-5-18 6-15-18 9-14-19-16-9-18-1-20-9-15-14, 20-8-5 19-8-9-18-20 23-8-5-14 25-15-21 23-5-18-5 25-15-21-14-7-5-18, 2-25 20-8-5 6-1-20-8-5-18 2-5-9-14-7 9-14-19-16-9-18-5-4, 20-8-5 19-20-9-20-3-8-5-4, 20-8-5 8-1-21-14-20-5-4 19-20-15-18-5, 20-8-5 7-9-6-20, 1-14-4 20-8-5 12-15-14-7-12-15-19-20 15-14-5. 20-5-14 19-25-13-2-15-12-19 16-12-1-3-5-4 1-18-15-21-14-4 1 23-8-5-5-12. 8-1-14-4 9-14 8-1-14-4 20-8-5-25'12-12 2-15-14-4 20-8-5 19-5-1-12. 2-21-20 2-18-5-1-11 20-8-5 3-8-1-9-14, 1-14-4 16-1-25 20-8-5 3-15-19-20. 20-8-5 16-18-15-16-8-5-3-25 23-9-12-12 1-12-12 2-5 12-15-19-20.

20-8-5 13-1-19-20-5-18 9-19 16-18-5-16-1-18-9-14-7 20-8-5 12-1-19-5-18 19-3-18-5-23-4-18-9-22-5-18.


	41. Chapter 41

_**To the End**_

 _"Ha ha ha ho! This is just too perfect! Didn't you brainiacs know the zodiac doesn't work if you don't all hold hands? And what's better, you've brought every threat to my power together in one easy-to-destroy CIRCLE!"_

Right then, the Master appeared with his hand weaponry that was branched off from technology that once shrunk people, a staser pistol, a dangerous mobile phone with a familar parasol. It can also connect to his disguised wristwatch with a hidden blade and a pin.

He points his laser screwdriver weapon-firing it, it burned the Zodiac.

"Oh no!"

Pacifica noticed that her hair is on fire by the sudden flaming laser and screamed, "Ah! My hair!"

Robbie notices that his hair is on fire and panics also, "Ah! My hair also!"

Bill suddenly wraps and held the Doctor, Stan, and Ford with ropes. They struggled. _"You guys wanna see what happens to your friends when you can't get along?"_

"Hey! You give them back!" McGucket grabbed his banjo.

"You've gone too far, Cipher!" said Gideon.

"Yeah! We're not scared of you!" Wendy grabs her ax.

"Oh, but you should be." the Master smugly said, as he puffs off the smoke from his weapon.

Case in point, Bill snaps and everyone except Dipper, Mabel, the Doctor, Ford, and Stan floats up beside Bill.

"Ah!"

"Oh no!"

 _"You know, this castle could really use some **DECORATIONS!** "_

The people who he was holding up are replaced by tapestries with pictures of them screaming in front of their symbols.

"Looks like it's too late for your pawns, Doctor!" the Master mocked the Doctor.

Dipper and Mabel scream as a cage encases them.

"Ah! Kids!" Stan shouted.

Bill tells Ford, " _But you can still save your family. Last chance: tell me how to take Weirdmageddon global and I'll spare the kids!_ "

 _"No! Don't do it!"_

 _"Yeah! Bill makes bad deals!"_

" _Don't you toy with me, Shooting Star. I see_ **EVERYTHI** -!" Mabel sprays paint in his eye, _"Ow! Not again! Why?! Every time!"_

"Nice shot, pumpkin!" Stan called.

All three are released from Bill's arms and fall to the ground. "Oof!" The Doctor shouted.

 _"I just regenerated that eye!"_

"I know that hurts because I've accidentally done it to myself! Multiple times!"

Dipper pulls out the height-altering crystal flashlight and enlarges their cage. Dipper and Mabel jump out as Bill continues to scream in pain.

"Save yourselves. Run! We'll take care of Bill!"

"What!? That's a suicide mission!"

"Trust us. We've beat him before..."

Mabel finishes, "...and we'll beat him again! Hey! Bill! Come and get us, you pointy jerk!"

Bill growls. Dipper and Mabel run off into the Fearamid. Before leaving, Mabel stretches her lips to blow a raspberry.

"What? No! It's too dangerous!" Ford shouted.

Ford and Stan start to run after Dipper and Mabel, the Doctor lifts himself up, but Bill puts them in a cage.

 _"Not so fast. You THREE wait here!"_

He turns monsterous red and grews six arms, _"I've got some children I need to make into corpses. **See ya real soon!** " _

"No! Wait! No! No! Oh, what do we do? What do we do?!"

Ford bangs on bars, "Kids!"

The Master approaches to the prisoners, "Oh Doctor, how still predictable you are..."

The Doctor glared at him. "Every star in the universe... and you want them to be burned by the Time War's timeline and its aftermath that turns into a multiverse-hell wasteland?!"

His rivial grins, "When I nearly died from our last encounter... of course, the dream demon appeared to be to make a deal. Everything was arranged with fate-and everything was planned out with my trap!"

Stan also glared at him, "Who even are you jerk?!"

The Master smiled with a smirk, "As a former Prime Minister, MY Name-is called: The Master!"

The Doctor explains, "He's my sworn arch-enemy, way into glories, chaos, and destruction."

"The master of disguise is what I am indeed best at. How can you resist against such fate, eh Dr. Pines?" He motioned to Ford.

Ford's expression hardened, "Anyone who is directly assoicated with Bill is no friend of mine..."

He smiles, "Death is often frighting when strikes invisibility... especially, the kids!"

Stan and Ford both realized it.

Stan smacks himself, "Oh, I can't believe this! The kids are gonna die and it's all my fault. Because I couldn't shake your stupid hand, Ford! Uh, dad was right about me. I am a screw-up!"

The Master continues, "In twenty-four minutes, the world will be ravaged by that dream demon... soon your smart ape will crack-and everything will cease to exist."

Ford then sits down next to Stanley, "Stanley, don't blame yourself. I'm the one who made a deal with Bill in the first place." He glared back at the Master, "He's right... I fell for all his easy flattery, and I have to save the kids." He looks at his hands, "You would have seen him for the scam artist he is..."

"How did things get so messed up between us?"

"We used to be like Dipper and Mabel. The world's about to end and they still work together. How do they do it?"

"Easy. They're kids. They don't know any better-Whoa, where you goin'?"

"I'm going to play the only card we have left. Let Bill into my mind. He'll be able to take over the galaxy and maybe even worse, but at least he might let the kids free."

"What?! Are you kiddin' me?! Are you honestly telling me there's nothing else we can do?!"

"Bill's only weak in the mind space. If I didn't have this darn plate in my head we could just erase him with the memory gun when he steps inside my mind."

The Doctor realized, "He's right. Bill's mindscape is only his domain... so being in one's mind..."

"What if he goes into my mind? My brain isn't good for anything." Stan stated.

"Heheh. There's nothing in your mind he wants. It has to be me. We need to take his deal. It's the only way he'll agree to save you and the kids."

"Do you really think he's gonna make good on that deal?"

"What other choice do we have?"

"Oh-please attend carefully... the deal that follows is vital for you all..." The Master interrupted. "Soon the demon shall kill them in a minute if you don't go for it..."

He continues, "You better hurry, Doctor! I shall be looking over supreme power over the universe: Master of all matter! This should be speck-cular! The decsion is take the deal... **or don't.** " He smirked, "After all, I have been waiting my whole life for this: if the Doctor can save them from this... so can I..."

He held a fob watch, "Like I said before, what good is the universe and to me, without the Doctor..."

"Where did you get that?"

"You dropped it while I was reactiviating Davros' pets..."

* * *

Bill re-enters the main room with Dipper and Mabel in his hand.

 _"Alright, Ford. Time's up. I've got the kids. I think I'm gonna kill one of 'em now just for the heck of it! EENIE!"_ His eye went on a pine tree. "...MEENIE..." Landed on shooting star. "... **MINEE..."** Again pine tree.

Suddenly, a laser beam struck Bill's back, _" **ARGH**! WHO DID THAT?!"_

The Master smiled. "Though I never stand with the Doctor... I loved being with powers you possessed me with... Every second of it..." He remembered when he lets Bill take his body to trick Mabel.

"Oh the way you burned like a tree caught on fire... like a whole screaming dimension on fire..."

Bill angrily points his finger at him. The Master laughed one last time. He looked at the prisoners.

"...I remembered that feeling... and I always will... and I will always miss it... although..."

A beam fired is upon the Master, "...I never stand with the Doctor-Hehhahahahahahahahahahoohoohoohahahahahahahahahah-HRK!"

This seemingly burned him to ashes. Bill then turned back to them, _"So where was I-ah YES!_ _**YOU**_!"

"Wait! I have a better deal!" The Doctor somewhat called out.

 _"I am listening!_ " He drops Dipper and Mabel. A deal from a Timelord? It was considered as a rare jackpot for anyone.

"Don't do it, Doc, it'll destroy the universe!" Stan stated loudly.

"Stan, it's the only way!" Ford chimmed in.

 _"HAHAHAHA! Oh, even when you both about to die, you Pines twins just can't get along._ " He drops the cage and ties up both Stan and the Doctor. _"No Timelord arrogance from you, eh Doc? What's the deal?"_

The Doctor was silent. As Stan struggled, he clunched the given fob watch.

"Ford told me you want the equation, I shall be the one to give it to you... in short I want you to let the Pines go!"

 _"Fine!"_

"No, DOCTOR! What are you doing!? Don't trust him!" Dipper pleaded.

 _"It's a...DEAL!"_

He then shook his hand, then enters the mental realm, _"Ahaha! Hahaha! AHAHAHAHAHA!"_

* * *

 _Outside of the Doctor's firm appearance, as if he is waging a battle between minds, Ford pulls out the memory erasing gun. Stan passes on the fob watch. Ford turns the knob which it says, "Doctor (?)" and aims it at their family's friend._

 _The rest watched sadly, as Ford is about to wipe the memories from one of the greatest allies to Earth._

* * *

 _"Oh, I'm here. I'm finally here! Look at this place: your knowledge of the Timelords. Gotta hand it to ya, Doc. You really know how to hold your mind than the smartest of these skin puppets!"_

He turns to him _, "So where is it?"_

In response, the background that contained the TARDIS interior of the console room burned. The Doctor gazed at Bill cheekly.

 _" **WHAT**?!"_ Bill screamed.

"A perfect trap, my dear knowledge-eating triangle friend." The Doctor answered.

 _"The deal's off!"_ He tries to turn around but the police box's doors to the supposed outside shuts and consumed by the flames, " _What the...No, no, no, no!_ "

The room starts to burn with blue fire.

"Oh yes. You destroyed Fiddleford's mind, Bill. You tricked the Pines. **You had your fun on me.** " The Doctor's voice turned deep and rich with fury.

"Soon you will be a mere thought-prisoner of your own demise. Memory gun. Pretty much everything from your own historical actions, eh?" He then chirped madly.

 _"Y-you idiot! Don't you realize you're destroying your own mind, too?!"_

 _"_ That's what I am!" His stance shocked Bill of all places, "A madman with a box, traveling and stopping darkness where I **go**..."

 _"Let me outta here! Let me OUT-OW! Why isn't this working?!"_

Then Bill understood, he was in the presence of a Timelord. The one whose anger is more hotter and unextinguishable...and the mere reason why he ran.

He was being kind.

The demonic-con tried to plead one last time.

 _"You're making a mistake! I'll give you anything!"_

He looked at him with contempt.

" _MONEY!_ "

His eye shows a picture of a dollar sign. The Doctor pluckered his lips in dislain.

 _"FAME!"_

His eye showed a star. The Doctor's brows were more narrower than before.

 _"RICHES!"_

His eye showed a pot of gold. He sighs, rolling his eyes.

 _"INIFINITE POWER! Your own galaxy!"_

Then shown a universal galaxy. He is above all disgusted.

 _"Please!"_

"Everything has its time and everything dies." He deadpans.

He bends and melts, _"No! **What's happening to me?!**_ _ROTCOD UOY ESRUC! NRUTER YAM I TAHT REWOP TNEICNA EHT EKOVNI I! NURB OT EMOC SAH EIMT YM L-T-O-L-O-X-AAAAAAA! DDDDDDOOOOCCCCTTTTOOOORRRR-HRK!"_

Bill Cipher, a version of an intergalactic terror, tries to grab him. The Doctor merely swirls to the side as collapsing and melting Bill fell into the fiery flames.

The Doctor then sorrowfully looked around. His memories of every good day... and every bad day...

All of his past selves's voices seemed to drown out the consuming flames...

 _"No, I must go at once. Thank you my boy. Keep warm..."_

 _"...You can't do this to me!..."_

 _"No, while there's life, there's..."_

 _"...It's the end, but the moment has been prepared for."_

 _"Feels different this time..."_

 _"...My future is in safe hands."_

 _"I gotta stop... him!"_

 _"...Physician, heal thyself."_

 _"Wearing a bit thin! I hope the ears are a bit less conspicuous this time...!"_

 _"...You were fantastic, and you know what? So was I!"_

 _"I don't wanna go..."_

 _"I will always remember when the... was me..."_

 _"...I let you go."_

The flames engulf him.

* * *

" _Guys, I will do it..."_

 _"If he gains a leverage on each of you-it would cost your family and friends... I shall take the burden-take this Stan, give this Ford when he's inside in my mind. Work together... forgive each other... and let this be your **best**_ ** _time..._** _"_

Once Ford finishes erasing the Doctor's memories, he drops the memory erasing gun. The others from the Zodiac return to normal and drop to the floor. Outside of the Fearamid, the rift sucks all of the demons back into the time crack's portal. Every monster that came from the Time War's timeline is sucked back.

The time crack is finally sealed.

The Fearamid is deconstructed and pulled into the rift. Once it is gone, a wave washes over the town, restoring it to its pre-Weirdmageddon state. The townsfolk look around, Rumble McSkirmish fades away. Gravity Falls is back again.

Somewhere in the forest, a bird lands on a physical statue of Bill, covered in moss and vegetation.

 _"Time to wake up..."_

The Doctor opened his eyelids.

Mabel runs up to him with the others, and puts his recovered fedora on him, "Oh, my gosh! Doctor, you did it!"

"I'm so sorry... do, I know you?"

"Eheh. Doctor... you don't remember us?"

"Are you referring to a hosptial? I don't think there is one around here."

"C-cmon. It's me. It's me... Doctor! Doctor! It's me!" Stan hesistantly drags her back.

"We had to erase his mind to defeat Bill. He let himself to be the one to do it, instead of either of us. It's all gone. He did it. He saved us. He saved me... Thank you Doctor..." Ford pats the amnesic Doctor on the shoulder. "Did I do something wrong?" Ford quickly shakes his head.

Mabel sits down and cries. Dipper puts his hand on her shoulder and cries as well. Stan blinks his eyes and looked sideways. He knelt down as held the twins to his chest with comfort.

* * *

Soon, everyone is in front of the Mystery Shack, which is laying in a heap in the woods. Stan groaned softly, "Hm... great... we might need to spend few bucks here..."

They walk up to the door. Dipper bashes against the door until it comes down. Stan chuckles, liking how Dipper toughened up a little...

Yet the time felt very sullen and discouraging.

Everyone walks into the living room, Dipper and Mabel hold Stan's hands.

The Doctor looked around "Hey, this is a real nice place you got here." He points to the ragged police box, "What's that?"

"It's your place, Doctor."

"Don't you remember? Even a little?"

The Doctor sat, "Nope. Say, who's that crying in the corner? Did someone upset him?"

Soos sobs and turns away.

"We saved the world, but what's the point? The Doctor not himself anymore. Everything we knew about him is gone..."

"There's gotta be something we can do to jog his memory!"

Ford pulls out the memory gun and tossed it on the couch. The fob watch was still attacted to it, "There isn't. I'm sorry. The Doctor that cared about us is gone-"

"I know my amazing friend is in there somewhere! There's gotta be something around here that can help bring him back." She walks all over the Shack-until she leaned to the TARDIS... somehow, it felt her pain...

Its keyhole suddenly fired a projection of the Doctor:

" _Recording preserved. Hello! By the time you reached this recording it means my memories are gone..."_

All of the Pines' ears perked up.

 _"Rest assured, the plan for the memory lapse I created was a back-plan... the fob watch that is held..."_

It continues, giving them hope, _"...shall be the instrumental to my revival. Good Luck."_

The projection shuts off.

 _"Say..."_

Everyone looked at the Doctor...

"...what's this doing on the couch?" He held up the memory gun's certain battery: the fob watch.

Mabel shouts happily, "That's it!" She runs over and suddenly sees her scrapbook on the ground.

She picks it and looked at her family and Soos.

Everything is not yet lost...

* * *

 _"Good morning, Gravity Falls. It's another beautiful day, but every day is beautiful now that the...unpleasantness is over."_

Lazy Susan wipes a drawing of Bill off of her window.

Sprott chased some Eye Bats out of his barn, "Git outta here, you ornery critters!"

A zombie popping out of the ground. Greg Valentino pushes it back into the ground with his foot.

"Ah, good as new. Oh! Looks like you've got a friend!"

"Robbie, would you be a dear and get us the sawed-off shotgun?"

"Ugh. Fine! Whatever!"

Mayor Befufftlefumpter pops out of the ground as a zombie, "Brains, and so forth."

"Nope. None of that, thank you." The Valentino family looked over the graveyard in case if paranormal made zombies come back alive.

Soon, later-turned Mayor Tyler Cutebiker is standing on a podium in front of a crowd.

"None of us really understand what just happened and none of us want to. That's why I'm passing the Never Mind All That Act. If anyone goes asking around about the "events" of the last few days, what do we say?" He drops a banner saying "NEVER MIND ALL THAT".

Crowd yelled, "Never mind all that!"

Sheriff Blubs added, "And if you break the rules, we're gonna zap you."

Deputy Durland also waved tasers, "Zap! Zap! We're mad with power!"

 _"In other news, the Northwest family has gone broke. After pledging his allegiance to Bill and then placing all his savings in weirdness bonds, Preston Northwest had to sell his mansion to preserve his family fortunes have also turned for local maniac, Fiddleford McGucket, who, after regaining his sanity, has made millions overnight submitting his patents to the U.S government!"_

"I'm gonna buy me a bigger shed! Hey, that one's for sale!"

* * *

Soon enough, the Doctor is leaning on the doorway of the TARDIS that is outside. Dipper and Mabel are celebrating their 13th birthday.

Ford comes up to him, "...memory doing fine?"

The Doctor chuckled, "Doing better than ever-thank you for saving me..."

Ford shook his head, "No... thank you for everything you have done for my family.

The Doctor nodded. Suddenly the phone rang from the police box. "It must be the parents..."

Soon Dipper and Mabel standing in front of a cake with many townsfolk who are finishing their song.

"...to you." Their friends and allies cheered happily.

"I can't believe you all got together just to throw a party for us."

Tyler replies, "After all the Pines family has done for the town, it's the least we could do. You've helped everyone here."

Gideon added, "Thanks to y'all savin' us, I'm gonna learn to open my heart to kindness. No more evil-doin'. From now on, I'm gonna try to be Li'l Gideon, regular ol' kid."

Soos stated, "Dude! Make a wish, dawg."

Dipper began, "You know, on my first day here, if you had asked me what I wanted, I would have said, "adventure, mystery, true friends." But looking here at all of you I realize that every wish came true. I have everything I wanted..."

Mabel finished, "If I had only one wish it would be to shrink all of you with the shrink ray and bring you home with us in my pocket. But since that's impossible... Is that impossible?"

Ford waves his hand up and down and shrugs. The Doctor bellowed with laughter.

"Since that's probably impossible, my only wish is for everyone to sign my scrapbook. I'll never forget you guys. Wait." She sets the memory gun on the floor and smashes it, "Now I'll never forget you guys!" She and Dipper blow out the candles.

Wendy hugs them, "AND I now officially declare you technically teenagers. Welcome to angst and acne forever!"

Wendy, Tambry, Robbie, Lee, Nate, and Thompson shout, "One of us! One of us!"

Blubs and Durland fire a cannon, "WOOPEE!"

"So how do you feel?"

"Same-y, but different-y." She added, "Allons-y!"

Pacifica comes forward, "Hey, you two. When are you gonna open your presents already? I broke a nail wrapping them."

She and Dipper laugh, "Pacifica." Mabel giggled.

Dipper and Mabel each grab a present. Stan claps.

Ford signals to him, "Stanley, I need to talk to you. I didn't wanna say anything with everyone listening, but we've got a problem. Weirdmageddon has been contained but I'm detecting some strange new anomalies near the arctic ocean. I want to go investigate it but I think I might be too old to go it alone."

"Are you sayin' you need someone to help you sail around the world in the adventure of a lifetime?"

"I don't just want someone to come with me Stanley, I want it to be you." he gives him a photo of them as kids posing on the Stan-o-War, "Will you give me a second chance?"

"You think we'll find treasure? And babes?"

"Heh! I'd say there's a high probability. But, what should we do with the Mystery Shack?"

"I think the town's had enough mystery for one lifetime. Besides! Thanks to Doc, we got the boat ready! Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

* * *

"Everyone, I have an announcement to make. Me and my-heh! Nerdy bro over here have some catchin' up to do. We're gonna be away for a while. That's why I'm shutting down the Mystery Shack for good."

Crowd gasp and murmur.

Soos then spoke, "You shut down your mouth for good! I'm sorry, Mr. Pines. It's just that this shack is the most magical place on Earth. Sure, the attractions are all fake, but dreams aren't fake!" He holds up a fiji mermaid taxidermy, "Like, this mermaid. It's not just a dead fish butt sewn to a monkey carcass. It's a marvelous creature that makes us believe that anything is possible. You shut down this shack, and you shut down our dreams! At least...my dreams!"

The Doctor smiled.

"I'm sorry, Soos. It's just, there's no one around to run it. At least, there wouldn't be if I hadn't just found the perfect replacement." He puts his fez on Soos, "Ladies and gentleman, the Mystery Shack is under new management!"

Everyone cheers.

"You...you mean it, Mr. Mystery?!"

"You're Mr. Mystery now, Soos. Try not to burn the place down."

Abuelita carries luggage and assorted items, with a 'Movers' truck in tow, "I'll move in immediately."

The partygoers keep cheering.

* * *

The Pines, Soos, Wendy, Candy, Grenda and Waddles are at the Doctor's police box.

"Do you really have to go? There's still so much we haven't done together." Candy stated.

Mabel replies, "Summer's over, Candy. It's time for us to grow up."

"But not too much."

"Aaah! I hate my dumb heart for making me feel things. Cut. It. Out. Heart!" Grenda punches herself.

"Hey, can you punch my heart, too?" Soos added.

"No, mine! Punch my feelings away."

Mabel hugs Candy and Grenda, "Candy and Grenda, thank you for being my people. You'll always be my best friends. Grunkle Stan, thanks for wearing my goodbye sweater."

Stan stated, "Ah, it's cold out. I had to."

"What? But it's like eighty-something degrees out today."

Stan and Ford both shout, "Can it, Soos!"

The Doctor Dipper, Mabel, Candy and Grenda all burst out laughing.

Wendy kneels next to Dipper, "Hey, you mean a lot to me, man."

Dipper fist-bumps Wendy, "You, too."

Wendy switches hats with Dipper, "Something to remember me by." She hands Dipper a letter, "Oh, and this. Read it the next time you miss Gravity Falls."

The Doctor shook hands and bid farewell...

...to every friends and allies.

Stan spoke, "Kids, you knuckleheads were nothin' but a nuisance and I'm glad to be rid of ya."

Mabel and Dipper hug him, 'We'll miss you too, Grunkle Stan."

The Doctor hands certain passports to Ford, "Certified clearance, certain contacts of mine from U.N can help you guys out... also tell Harkness to wise up...but remember-"

He tips his hat, "-have fun exploring the unknowns."

"Ready to head into the unknown?" Dipper said to Mabel as they enter the police box.

"Nope. Let's do it." Mabel replied. "Hit it Doc!"

The Doctor smiled, "With pleasure." He pulls the lever.

Everyone looked on as the police box faded from existance...

VWORP! VWORP! VWORP! VWORP!

* * *

The TARDIS Console shines all the way through as everything is turning its gears.

Suddenly a **thunk** was heard.

They arrived safely at the hometown of Piedmont, California.

 _If you've ever taken a road trip through the Pacific Northwest, you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called Gravity Falls._

 _It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it. Some people think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait._

 _Take a trip. Find it. It's out there somewhere in the woods. Waiting._

Dipper opens the letter, which has signatures from various people and read: _"See you next summer"._

He smiles with Mabel.

They looked at the Doctor, as the TARDIS doors opens in front of their home.

He winks.


End file.
